Looking Down the Mountain

We just recorded our 107th and final Meaning Over Money podcast episode of the year. That’s two episodes per week plus three bonus episodes. After typing that number, even I second-guessed whether that’s true. 107? Wow! That’s more than 30 hours of finished product content. Did that really happen? How did that happen?!?

Truth is, it didn’t feel like a lot as we were living it out. It was episode by episode, day by day, one foot in front of the other. It’s like climbing a mountain. While we’re in the midst of the climb, it doesn’t feel like we’re making a lot of progress. We climb, climb, and climb, and the peak doesn’t seem to get much closer. It’s only when we turn around and look down, we realize how far we’ve come. We know we’ve been climbing for a while, but it’s breathtaking to see just how high we are when we take a moment to look back.

I think this is a perfect metaphor for so many areas of life. Through all the hustle and bustle, comings and goings, we often fail to look down the mountain to see just how far we’ve come. In our finances, fitness, relationships, careers, skills, experience, faith, and so many more. Instead, we spend our time beating ourselves up, wishing we were better, and comparing ourselves to someone else. Instead of being proud and content with what we accomplished, we fixate on everything we wish we had done. Instead of celebrating the wins, we dwell on the losses. Or maybe that’s just me…..

If 21-year-old me could hop in a time machine to see what 41-year-old me would accomplish over those 20 years, I think he’d be pleased. It’s been an awfully steep mountain. I wish I would look down more often.

This Is Pointless

I recently became a partner in a start-up coffee company, Northern Vessel. Today marks the one-month anniversary of our brick-and-mortar opening. By any metric or measurement, the most appropriate way to describe the results of the last month is, well, meteoric. It’s been far greater than we could have ever imagined, and for that we’re grateful.

I’ve had lots of people ask me why Northern Vessel has experienced so much success, so quickly. My answer is always the same: failure and persistence. While Northern Vessel is a start-up, this is actually the fourth iteration of the company. We call it NV 4.0. The concept was birthed five years ago when our founder, TJ Rude, lived in Los Angeles and fell in love with their unique coffee culture. Soon after that, NV 1.0 was born. It was a coffee cart that served up their signature Cold Brew Lattes at grad parties, weddings, and other events worth celebrating. I was first introduced to NV at a grad party for one of my youth group kids and was immediately fascinated.

During COVID, as all events were shut down, NV started a delivery service (NV 2.0), where TJ would hand-deliver larger batches of drinks right to people’s doors (which is the first time I met TJ…..at my front door with a big bottle of Cold Brew Latte in his hands). It was during this stretch of time that Alex Prins, our creative and branding guru, entered the mix. TJ and Alex made a fantastic team and they had pretty big dreams about what NV could someday become. As COVID waned, they reopened their cart outside a restaurant…..then eventually took occupancy in that restaurant space (NV 3.0). Then suddenly, it all just ended. Due to a combination of factors, TJ pulled the plug and NV ceased to exist in any material form. Though I still wasn’t involved at that point, my heart broke for them….especially TJ. This was his baby and his dream. You can listen to a great podcast episode where TJ tells his story HERE.

Fast forward a year, from an outside perspective NV is an overnight success. When I think about NV, I think about this image:

From @visualizevalue on IG. Go follow them!

What people don’t see today is the blood, sweat, and tears TJ put in for nearly a half-decade. Or the awesome work Alex put in for the last 2+ years. They didn’t see the brutal grind, long hours, low pay, and less-than-glamorous lifestyle these two guys lived. I coached both of these guys for a season and I can attest nobody would have been jealous of their budgets or bank accounts. They were a couple of guys with a big dream, filled to the brim with passion, and talent coming out their ears.

I think the world is a better place because of what they built. Had TJ and Alex just walked away, thousands of people wouldn’t have the opportunity to enjoy it today. We all reach a point on our journey where it just feels pointless. We aren’t seeing the fruit, we encounter obstacle after obstacle, and it would just be easier to quit. It makes me wonder how many books, songs, businesses, ministries, and movies end up in a grave because their creators thought it was pointless and simply walked away. What if they were just one year, one month, or one week away from it all finally clicking?

What if it’s not pointless? What if it’s actually what you’re meant to do?

Calendar: "Feed Travis"

As I discussed in a prior post, I had a brutal Thanksgiving this year. Instead of spending time with family and enjoying too much delicious food, I was left home alone writhing in the fetal position (sick as sick can be) while my family was enjoying the festivities. To be honest, it was as emotionally exhausting as it was physical.

Despite all the loneliness, fatigue, fever, and pain, there was one silver lining amongst all the disasters of my holiday. Sarah, nervous about me and fearful I’d probably just whither away, made arrangements with some friends to bring me some Thanksgiving dinner. Accompanying her communication of this news was a screenshot from our friend’s phone calendar to ensure I knew what time they would be arriving:

“Feed Travis.” It was a playful way to schedule a simple gesture. Except it wasn’t a simple gesture to me. At some points that day, it was the only thing getting me through the misery. I looked forward to that moment all day. To me, it was a massive, thoughtful, sacrificial act of generosity. To them, it was dropping leftovers off at a friend’s house on the way home from a family gathering. To me, it was everything. And let me tell you, it was EVERYTHING I imagined it could be. They brought a feast, and it was nothing short of amazing.

Simple acts, huge impact. Generosity looks like that sometimes……er, most times. When we share what God has blessed us with and honor what is His, it has the ability to change people and make an impact. There’s no such thing as a small gift. Each and every gift we make has the possibility of creating a ripple effect we may never fully realize.

If what I just said is true, imagine the influence, impact, and opportunity at your fingertips each day. What are you waiting for? Let’s do this!

It’s Never Too Late

Last weekend, a friend approached me and said he had news wanted to share with me. Immediately, his eyes welled up as he started talking. He excitedly shared with me how he and his wife had just become debt free and set into motion a dream they had talked about for so long.

Any time someone shares a big win, I celebrate with them. However, this one felt different. I worked with them nearly a decade ago…..with very little success. And that experience came on the heels of very little success for the prior several decades. Literally decades of wishing, wanting, and not seeing it materialize. But not this time! This time they did it!

It’s never too late. This couple could have given up decades ago, conceding the system was rigged against them. I’m so glad they didn’t. In that moment, I could see so many regrets, mistakes, and failings wipe away from him. It’s like they dissolved right there in an instant.

It’s never too late to do the thing you’ve constantly failed at, were too scared to try, or kept putting off for any number of reasons. It’s never too late!

Relationships Over Riches

In my public speaking, a common thread I like to pull is one revolving around the science of happiness. Specifically, the decades of research conducted to figure out if money makes us happy. It does, and it doesn’t. It does……until our basic needs are met (plus a little more). Then, additional money doesn’t make us much happier. There’s more to unpack here in a future post, but I want to get to the next part of what I share in my public talks.

If money doesn’t make us happy, what does? Behavioral scientists have found several things that help drive happiness in ways money cannot. Towards the top of the list is genuine relationships. You know, the real deal, be honest with each other, support one another through thick and thin, accept each other even if we disagree type of relationships. Science shows those types of relationships significantly drive happiness.

Last night, I attended the wedding of a dear friend. Her name is Megan. I met Megan shortly after she turned 15 years old. She was a youth group kid and I was one of her leaders. To this day, I still can’t put my finger on why she and I connected so well. I was there when she got her license, when she started dating her first boyfriend, when she won the state basketball championship, when she welcomed my twin babies as if they were her own flesh and blood, when she graduated high school, when she started her student teaching, when she graduated from college, when she got her first adult job, and when she met the man she would soon call her husband. We’ve been through a lot together!

Today, she’s my close friend and my little sister. And her husband? His name is Collin and he’s like a brother to me as well. As I was sitting in the banquet hall last night, I couldn’t help but look around and think about how important so many of those people in the room are to me…..and to Megan and Collin. These people have deeply impacted my life in so many ways. It’s moments like this when I’m quickly reminded how meaningless so many of life’s “important” things are. If someone put a gun to my head, I’d take my people over all the trappings this life has to offer.

Collin and Megan, I love you and I’m proud of you!

My people, you know who you are! Thank you. You make life worth living, and you are worth far more to me than the riches of this planet can provide.

Suffering in Silence

It’s always heartbreaking to hear the constant news of suicides in our country. It’s tragic and far too common these days. This topic came into full view this week with the tragic suicide of a celebrity especially known for his joy and positivity. How can someone so popular, beloved, positive, and joyful take their own life? Unfortunately, so many people suffer in silence. What we see on the surface isn’t necessarily what’s underneath.

I used to have a road rage problem. Just ask my friend Brook from our Memphis days…..yikes! When people would react obscenely or aggressively toward me, I would freak out. I’m lucky I didn’t get myself killed. Then one day, I heard someone say something that forever changed my perspective (and how I try to handle myself). When we cross paths with people throughout the course of life, we don’t know what they are dealing with at that moment. Today may be the worst day of their life. They may have just received heartbreaking news, experienced a broken relationship, lost their job, or a myriad of other circumstances.

I often get asked how I navigate my client relationships with empathy and patience. I think it’s primarily because I know people are dealing with lots of life. But in our coaching, that life (good, bad, and ugly) comes to the forefront. So while everyone else wonders why x person would make y decision, I have a front-row seat to what’s really going on behind the curtain. It’s a privilege and an honor, and one I don’t take lightly.

When you’re out living life, always remember that so many around you are suffering in silence. Just being aware of this fact allows us the opportunity to make a positive impact on their lives. Or conversely, not make a negative impact on it.

I know today’s message isn’t as cheery as most days, but maybe that’s the trigger we each need today to be a force of encouragement and light to someone silently living in the dark.

Generosity is Caught, Not Taught

One of our six-year-olds, Finn, has a selfish streak in him. While Pax is always quick to share and give, Finn likes when things are about Finn. He’s less likely to share, more likely to take, and prefers when people bend their will to his desires. I’m sure many parents can relate to this story.

Finn has his own Christmas tree on his nightstand. It’s actually a shared tree between the two kids, but Finn is Finn. It’s a tiny little tree, obnoxiously filled to the brim with gaudy ornaments and lights. It’s very Finn-like. Yesterday morning before school, he was walking around the house with his tree’s LED star topper. When I asked what he was doing, he said, “I’m going to give this to Miss C (his teacher). Her tree needs it more than mine does.” This is one of his prized possessions! I was there when he presented this to his teacher just an hour later. She was quite taken back…..almost brought to tears. She walked him over to the classroom tree and let him place it atop. It was a very sweet moment.

To be honest, there are days when I wonder if my parenting is working in any shape or form. But I always go back to a quote I once heard, “more is caught than taught.” We as parents (or colleagues, neighbors, family members, etc.) need to remember this. We can say things until the cows come home. It may or may not make any difference….probably not. But when we live it? When we live it is when it comes alive! People are watching. People are always watching. They are watching what we do, not what we say.

Be generous. Always be generous. Then when in doubt, be generous some more. When we live in an open-handed posture of generosity, it becomes contagious. Not immediately, and not for everyone, but most certainly someone. And often, it’s the people we spend the most time with.

Dear God, please let my kids see, feel, and own the spirit of generosity - today and always. Amen!

Permission to Push Pause

I love it when people gain traction in their finances. They know what they are trying to accomplish, they get intentional, they make sacrifices, and they execute. It’s a beautiful thing. There’s a sense of satisfaction, confidence, and accomplishment that comes from such an experience.

But then, life happens! A job change, a wedding, a baby, a relocation, a career shift, a medical emergency, a new small business idea, kids college……the list goes on and on. These things are the very definition of life. There’s nothing linear about life. It’s a series of twists and turns, tragedies and delights, anxiety and confidence, sadness and joy.

While on a financial journey, especially if we’re really locked in and making progress, it can be easy to get fixated on the financial matters. After all, financial progress is a good thing. However, it can’t be the most important thing. If our finances become the most important thing, we’ve lost the game. Our finances should serve our life, not the other way around.

For that reason, you have permission to push pause. When life happens, we need to give ourselves permission to push pause on the finances and address the life in front of us. No guilt, no regrets, no second-guessing. Yes, this money stuff is important…….but the other things are more important.

I have multiple clients that have pushed pause on some of their financial endeavors so they can focus on life. Some of the best things life has to offer, and some of the worst things life has to offer. The highest of highs, the lowest of lows, and everything in between. In each of those scenarios, they needed to push pause for a season. Not forever…..just for now. It was hard at first, but their finances serve their life, not the other way around.

* This idea was given to me by my dear friend Tracy. If you have ideas for future blog posts or podcast episodes, I’d love to hear them!

The Parable of the Cyclone Tickets

In August of 2021, some dear friends generously gifted my family season tickets to Iowa State Cyclone football. It was such a sweet gesture, and those games created so many wonderful memories for our family. We were beyond grateful for the gift.

A few people asked me why we would accept that gift. After all, we didn’t “need” their generosity. We could have purchased our own tickets if we really wanted to. While that’s factually true, I believe this is a selfish and short-sighted way to view generosity. My friends didn’t buy tickets for us because we were in a place of “need.” Rather, they made this gift because they wanted to bless us. When that happened, I had two choices: humbly and gratefully receive their gift……or steal their blessing by turning them down. I chose a posture of humility and gratitude.

Generosity needs to be a two-way street. We can’t be truly generous if we refuse to be humble and grateful receivers. When we learn to accept generosity from others, it unlocks something special in our faith journey and our relationships with others.

Fast forward to this season: we purchased our own season tickets. It most certainly wouldn’t have happened had we not experienced all the blessings that came from the generous gift the prior year. Similar to last year, we created so many fun memories together as a family. Tailgating, playing catch on the hill, cheering for our team, watching the band, stalking the mascot, and concession snacks. There were a handful of games we weren’t able to attend this year, so we did what felt natural: we found people to bless with our generosity. It was fun watching people enjoy our tickets, creating memories with their own families. One of them was my cousin. She and her husband were able to attend a game featuring each of their alma maters, as well as share the experience of taking their young son to his first-ever college football game. It was pure joy to make that gift, and I’m grateful they accepted it.

This is the parable of the Cyclone Tickets. You give, then receive, then give, then receive. It’s one of the things that makes life beautiful.

A Weird New World

Ok, something a little different today. Check out this poem about my friend, Gary Hoag:

Gary Hoag was a man with a heart of gold

His passion for giving was never old

He dedicated his life to spreading the light

Of Christian generosity with all his might

With a vision to inspire and a mission to lead

Gary Hoag set out to fulfill a great need

In the world of Christian giving, he took the reins

And showed us all the power of charitable gains

His impact was felt far and wide

As people were moved by his generous pride

They followed in his footsteps, each step with care

And together they built a community of givers who'd share

Gary Hoag will be remembered for all he did do

To make the world a better place, through and through

His legacy lives on in the hearts of those he touched

And in the world of Christian generosity, his impact is much

We give thanks for Gary Hoag and the light he brought

And continue to carry on his message of love and thought

For it is through giving that we truly find

The true meaning of Christian generosity in our lives.

Now you may be thinking to yourself, “I never pictured Travis as a poet.” Your gut doesn’t mislead you…..I’m not. You’d have to fact-check this with my Mom, but I’m not sure I’ve written a single poem in my 41 years on this planet. This poem was written in 15 seconds by artificial intelligence (“AI”). Gary and I were spending some time together over Zoom last night when the topic of AI came up. We spent some time messing around with its power of creating, compiling, altering, and expounding on ideas. It’s truly remarkable, and scary, what we’re looking at. To have so much knowledge and computing power available at our fingertips is a wild idea. What does this do to education, writing, research, law, engineering, and a number of other fields? It’s hard to say, honestly.

Here’s one thing I do know. We can’t wish it away. We can’t sit back and say we don’t want it to exist. It’s here…..and it’s probably not going away. Will we wake up one day in a world that looks like Terminator 2? Perhaps. But in the meantime, we’re living in a world where everyone has access to these tools with limited or no cost (the software we were using is 100% free).

And like most other innovations and technologies we as mankind has invented, we can use them for good or for evil. But we each get to pick. The choice is ours and ours alone. I’m not sure how AI will play a role in my life and my business, but I hope whatever it is I will use it for good. With great power comes great responsibility. Welcome to our weird new world!

Today's Work Matters

Happy Monday! If you’re reading this, there’s a strong chance you’re working today. If so, thank you. Your work matters. Whatever you do, someone’s life will be better as a result of your good work. That someone may be your colleague, or your boss, or your client, or your customer, or someone I’m not even thinking about. But rest assured, when you do good work, the world is a better place. Your work matters. Thank you for doing the hard work. When your head hits the pillow tonight, I hope you feel a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. If we’re blessed, we’ll have the opportunity to do it again tomorrow. When that happens, I’ll be grateful for you again. Your work matters.

When In Doubt, Zoom Out

Life seems binary, a constant string of extremes. It’s either “yes”…..or ”no.” Someone buys our product…..or they don’t. We achieve our goal…..or we don’t. Someone downloads our podcast episode…..or they don’t. Here’s one thing I do know. When we focus on these singular outcomes, it can be immensely frustrating.

This idea came up full-force recently when meeting with a client. We were reviewing their last three monthly budgets. One month they were $300 over budget. The next month they were $400 under budget. The third month they were $200 over budget. Needless to say, they felt like failures. In their mind, a “win” is nailing the budget on the head…..or perhaps being within $50 of it. Based on their definition of success, they were huge failures.

When this happens, we need to zoom out. Instead of focusing on binary outcomes, we needed to look at the bigger picture. They had been budgeting for nine months at this point, so we totaled the discrepancy in their nine budgets. In total, they were $126 over budget over a nine-month period……meaning on average they come within $14 in any given month! Rarely do they get within $200, but they average being within $14. On a $7,000 monthly take-home income, they’ve come within 0.2% of their budget. Can we all agree that’s the definition of winning?!?!

When they focus on singular outcomes, they feel like a failure. When they zoom out, they realize they are succeeding at an incomprehensible level. Perspective matters.

This applies to most areas of life. Let’s give ourselves a little more credit…..and zoom out.

Netflix For the Entire Town!

I was recently in a coaching session when things got heated between the husband and wife. They were trying to figure out how to free up some cashflow in their monthly budget so they can lean into things they actually value. Here’s where the conversation broke down. One spouse wanted to cancel Netflix and the other wanted to cancel Hulu.

This in and of itself isn’t an interesting conversation……until I point out the fact they spend $3,000/month dining out and another $1,800 on their combined car payments. Yes, you read that correctly. We are arguing about a $15/month service fee when just these two other categories alone account for $4,800/month.

At some point, I jumped into the conversation with the line, “with how much you spend on food and your cars, you could buy Netflix for the entire town!”

This comment cut the tension and caused a laugh, then we moved on. This sounds crazy - because it is - but is a perfect example of what happens when we unintentionally create sacred cows in our life. Without knowing it, we turn certain things into a non-negotiable. We cement it in our life and never again stop to think that perhaps there’s a better approach. This couple turned dining out and their cars into sacred cows, even at the expense of so many things they believe in and dream about.

They now have an opportunity to make a choice. And not making a choice is still making a choice. The same goes for you, and for me.

* The couple gave me permission to share this story. They thought the absurdity of their situation could help others….or at least give them a laugh to start their day!

"I Would Have Felt Guilty"

I was recently meeting with a client who just did something out of character for his wiring. He purchased two things that were very much wants. Outdoor equipment and tickets to a few events. On the surface, these are very normal and customary purchases for most people…..but not for him. He’s wired as a big-time saver and these types of decisions don’t come easy for him. Despite what our cultural narrative says, not everyone is out there recklessly spending and spiraling themselves into debt. Many people deal with a polar opposite, but equally destructive habit: hoarding. This is a rampant problem caused by a “responsible” segment of our society that demonizes spending and applauds saving. And if saving some is applauded, saving more gets an even bigger applause. This sentiment, carried over years and decades, has led an entire generation into a hoarding mindset.

What I love about my young friend is his self-awareness of this potential pitfall in his behavior. He recognized it early, keenly knew it probably wasn’t healthy, then took steps to address it. Today, he has a healthy balance of saving, spending, and giving. When I asked him about these purchases, he was excited to share the news. It was pure and genuine excitement. He added, “Before we started working together, I would have felt guilty.” This time? No guilt. Not one ounce.

No guilt, no regrets, and no second-guessing. Just intentional decisions that fit into his broader plan, to create experiences with people he loves, which will turn into lifelong memories.

If You Won the Lottery

What would you do if you won the lottery tomorrow? Would you stay at your current job? Would you immediately quit? Would you try something different? Would you take a different job in the same industry? Would you shift to an entirely different industry? Think about your answer before moving on to the next paragraph………

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Ok, I’m back. If your answer was anything other than “keep doing what I’m doing now”, why? What is it about receiving a bunch of money that propels us from the work we’re doing today to the work we dream of doing someday? I think the answer is generally pretty simple: security and comfort. When we feel secure and have comfort, we’re more inclined to go do the thing we’re meant to do.

If that’s true, can we also say we’re willingly throwing away our dreams and unique calling by consciously (or subconsciously) pursuing security and comfort? If you know exactly what you’d do if you won the lottery, and it’s different than what you’re doing now, does it mean you’ve placed security and comfort over a more meaningful life?

It’s an interesting question to ponder. Hope you have a wonderful day!

Simple, But Hard

When talking to friends and acquaintances throughout the course of life, I regularly hear criticisms and complaints about financially irresponsible people in their life. Maybe it’s their grown child, neighbor, sibling, friend, or colleague. Since I’m the guy who helps people with money, they perceive me as a good outlet to vent these frustrations.

On one hand, I completely get where they are coming from. We should handle money better…..and doing so is simple. However, just because it’s simple, it doesn’t make it easy. I believe personal finance is really, really simple, and really, really hard. Telling someone in your life to “do it better” is a fool’s game. That would be like me unsuccessfully trying to rotate the tires on my car and having my mechanically inclined brother-in-law tell me to just “do it better.” It may be simple, but it’s hard. I was never taught, so how would I know how to do it?

But here’s where it gets beautiful. If I desire to learn how to rotate tires AND my brother-in-law is willing to teach me, I too will learn the art and science of rotating tires. It’s simple, but hard.

Finance is the same way. If there are people in your life who struggle with finances and have the desire to get better, you have the power to teach them or connect them with the resources that can. It’s simple, but hard.

If you’re looking for a cheap and simple resource, we have a podcast. It’s free, it’s good (I’m totally biased), there’s a ton of content (170+ episodes), and its packaged in succinct 10-15 minute bites.

The Problem With More

“The problem with more is every time we get more, more is still more.”

- Travis Shelton

Yes, I just quoted myself (#partyfoul). I say this all the time. If you’ve spent any length of time with me, this has undoubtedly come out of my mouth at some point. We have a “more” problem in our culture. Nicer cars, bigger houses, newer tech, grander trips. More, more, and more.

None of these things are inherently bad, but more doesn’t satiate. This is the curse. Every time we get more, we receive a glorious and instant dopamine hit…..only to feel a void once the high subsides. And the only way to get that feeling again? More. And the cycle continues.

The pursuit of more feels like we’re a hamster running on a wheel. There are only two natural outcomes: 1) we jump off the wheel and stop the madness, or 2) we eventually run ourselves into the ground. Unfortunately, most people are choosing the latter.

Laugh, Then Move On

I have a really bad habit. Every time I speak, record a podcast, create a YouTube video, or have a meaningful meeting with someone, I replay it back in my head in the hours and days that follow. Not only that, but I dissect and criticize everything I did or said. “Travis, you should have said ____.” Or “Travis, you shouldn’t have done _____.” All the way to, “ Travis, you screwed up that part where you could have made an impact!” The self-talk can become a death spiral! I hope I’m the only one who experiences this, but I’m afraid many others like me are out there.

Along the journey, however, something happened. I got to the point where I was recording so much content, speaking to so many audiences, and having so many meetings, that I couldn’t afford to dwell. I realized every moment I spent dwelling on what happened robbed me of the opportunity to make a difference in the next one. I also came to the realization none of this defines me. It’s a moment in time. It’s not my identity.

I’m glad I’ve progressed in this area, as I recently lived out my public speaking nightmare. I was emceeing Sunday services at my local church, as I do once every 6 weeks or so. I’m notoriously bad at recognizing when songs are coming to a close, so I always have the worship leader give me a little visual signal when it’s my cue to approach the stage. If done well, I’m in the right position a few seconds before they wrap up.

During the first service, my friend Kevin forgot to give me the signal. So there I was, realizing I need to be up there about 2 seconds ago, sprinting up the stage and into position. Not ideal, but it wasn’t a huge loss. Fast forward an hour. As I’m waiting for that same moment during the second service, I don’t trust Kevin to give me the signal (shame on me!). Instead, I thought to myself, “I got this! I’ll judge it well.”

You can probably guess where this is heading. At the perfect moment, I casually and confidently walked onto the stage and into position. Except there was a problem: they were still singing……and they kept singing. Uh oh, I was early! I was stuck! I couldn’t leave. I couldn’t unring this bell. I was a hostage to my own poor judgment. All I could do was stand there, with the bright lights shining, acting as though I was supposed to be there. I’m not sure how long it lasted. It felt like four hours, but it was probably 45 seconds……45 very lonely seconds.

Several of my friends gave me a hard time afterward, and we shared a laugh at my expense. But then I moved on. I made a mistake, was able to laugh about it, then moved on with life. It doesn’t define me and it won’t bring me down. I’m sure I’ll screw up again soon, but when I do, I hope I’m able to simply laugh and move on.

If I can learn this, so can you! Laugh, then move on.

What is Enough?

A couple just told me $525,000 isn’t enough money to make ends meet in their town. They were dead serious. It took every ounce of me to keep my composure in that moment. As a point of reference, the median household income of their city is around $85,000. In other words, they make 6x the median income……and are whining about it not being enough to make ends meet. To further exemplify the absurdity of their statement, they are in the top 1% of ALL Americans. Yet, it’s “not enough.”

I asked them a very simple question, “what’s enough?”

They couldn’t answer the question, but they both agreed it’s more than the $525,000 they are currently making.

I have a client who has a combined household income of around $80,000. On the heels of this crazy $525,000-is-not-enough conversation, I reached out to this other couple and asked the same question. Their response: “it would be nice to make a bit more, but we have all we need.”

If you live with a posture of want, there’s no such thing as enough. You’re setting yourself up to lose battle after battle after battle. If you live with a posture of contentment, you’ve already won the war.

Don't Let Your Memory Become a Nightmare

In yesterday’s post, I talked about the idea of investing in memories and not dwelling on the cost. The key point was that memories will last forever, while you soon won’t even remember what you paid for them. Two readers quickly pointed out this perspective seemed a bit negligent. That it’s irresponsible to recklessly pursue memories at the risk of impairing one’s financial life.

I’m really glad they pointed this out to me! I couldn’t agree more. I was perhaps too casual or too presumptuous that people are avoiding self-sabotage in the process. I of all people should know better than to make this assumption. I work with people every day who make decisions that will haunt them for years or decades to come.

Whenever we make a financial decision, it has to fit within the broader context of our life. When I made the choice to fly to Dallas and sit courtside at a Mavs game, contextually I knew I could intentionally budget for it while still finding my balance between needs, wants, giving, and saving. If this opportunity would have presented itself 10-15 years earlier, I don’t think I could have said the same thing. Back then, a similar decision could potentially have knocked me off balance, or incentivized me into debt. When we make those types of choices, we create a scenario for ourselves where our memories turn into nightmares.

Each summer, Sarah makes the case for us to buy a small condo in a popular nearby lake community. She dreams about all the memories we can create there, as well as all the family time we would get to share together. She makes some very good arguments….and it sounds amazing. However, we then have to consider how it fits into the context of our broader life. Unfortunately, choosing to purchase this condo today would have deep negative ripple effects that could quickly turn into a nightmare.

Memories matter, but not when they haunt us for months or years to come. Choose wisely and choose carefully. When you do, those memories will be beautiful….and priceless!