Hyperbole For the Masses

Plunged. Tumbled. Sank. Crashed. Tanked. The media has had no lack of hyperbolic words to describe what happened to the stock market on Friday. People are losing their minds! If you aren't aware, the U.S. stock market fell by approximately 2.7% on Friday. Based on the dozens of texts I've received since then, many people are anxious.

"Market Falls Off a Cliff," reads one international news outlet headline. If you're casually scrolling the web, what do you do with a headline like that? I'll tell you what many people do. They start to get scared. Is it warranted? Should people be worried? Is now a great time to be fearful?

Well, it depends on what your goals are. If your goal is to never see your account balance fall below where it is today, then yes, you should be terrified. However, if your goal is to end up in a good spot years or decades from now, no, you shouldn't be worried in the least.

One of my friends specifically asked about how badly the stock market got crushed on Friday. After all, the hyperbole used to describe those events makes it sound like doomsday. Please allow me to put it into perspective. After the market fell by 2.7% on Friday, we are down to a level that had never before been achieved since the Civil War.....until 9/11/2025. That's right. The price of the stock market today is at level that was an all-time high less than a month ago. Here, maybe this chart will serve as a clear visual:

This chart illustrates what the last five years have looked like for the U.S. stock market. That tiny little blip in the upper right-hand corner of the chart is Friday's "plunge." It's about as scary as a Halloween-themed show made for toddlers.

Will the stock market experience a far more significant decline? Probably. When will it happen? No clue. None of that is important, though. What's important is that we continue to practice the "do nothing" strategy and simply live our meaningful lives. Let the market be the market because the market is always the market. P.S., that's a good thing. We have the greatest stock market that has ever existed, and 155 years of proven data to back it up. Therefore, I love letting the market be the market because the market is always the market.

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My Collections

In yesterday's post, I confessed that I don't personally collect anything. Everyone around me seems to have collections, but my life is seemingly void of collectibles. Does that make me weird? Am I missing out? I challenged our readers to share their viewpoints and perspectives on collecting. I so much appreciate your insights.

After much consideration, it dawned on me that I do, in fact, collect things. However, instead of collecting material things like I used to when I was younger, my collections look different now. I'm not sure how I missed it so badly yesterday, but it turns out I'm indeed a collector. Here's what my collections look like:

• I collect memories.

• I collect experiences.

• I collect photos and videos.

• I collect trips.

• I collect countries visited.

• I collect food eaten.

• I collect sights seen.

• I collect first-time endeavors with my kids.

• I collect impactful moments with those whom I have the honor of serving.

I totally missed the mark yesterday when I was focused too much on the physical, and not enough on the intangible.Those things I listed above? I cherish them so much, and if I'm honest, I pursue them violently.

I recently read a study about why time seems to go faster as we age. Turns out, there's a scientific answer for it. Our brains measure time in significant events: first-time experiences, landmark moments, profound experiences, etc. When we're younger, we naturally have more of these moments in our lives. The world feels new and exciting. We're more likely to be adventurous. We have a childlike wonder.

Then, as time passes, that childlike wonder begins to fade. What once felt new and exciting starts to feel bleh. When I was a kid, I remember the astonishment I felt each time my family drove into downtown Chicago. The buildings, the lights, the sounds, the people. It was all so....intense! Today, though, it's a different experience. I took my family there a few weeks ago. This time, it was just a cool city. I still love Chicago, but the wonder has somewhat faded.

This is why it's so important for me to collect memories and experiences. The more often I approach life with a childlike wonder, the more significant events get seared into my brain. How has this panned out? The 20 years from age 18 to 38 seem like a blur, gone in the snap of a finger. On the flip side, the six years from 38 to 44, intentionally approaching life with this new mindset, have felt like two decades. I've had more monumental memories and experiences in the past six years than I did in the 20 years prior to that, combined. That's very cool to think about; that's very depressing to think about. But I'm going to focus on the cool here!

Collect memories. Collect experiences. Collect impact. The act of collecting that which is intangible is a tangible effort toward a more meaningful and enduring life. I'm not even sure if that last sentence makes sense, but upon 15 reviews, I'm gonna stick with it!

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Collecting?

A friend recently asked me what I collect. In response, I just stared at him. My brain was churning, but nothing was registering. Collecting....collecting....collecting. What do I collect? I couldn't think of anything. I don't collect anything?!?!

I used to collect baseball cards. I used to collect video games. I used to collect watches. I used to collect Chicago Bulls memorabilia. I used to collect DVDs. I used to collect CDs. Today, though, I can't think of a single thing I collect. Is that weird? It feels weird to me, but at the same time, I can't think of anything I would want to collect.

It feels odd to me that I used to collect lots of things, but now collect nothing. I have some theories on why I don't collect things anymore, but I'll save those theories for another day.

What about you? What do you collect? What moves the needle for you? Why? What does it do for you? How does it add meaning to your life? I'm genuinely fascinated by this topic. I want to learn what others are doing.....and why. I feel like i might be missing something in my own life, but I'm not sure what.

Please hit reply if you receive this blog via e-mail, or please comment below if you are reading on the website. I can't wait to learn more about this topic, and your perspectives on it.

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…..For Me

Whoa, I really stepped on a landmine with yesterday's post. I received countless e-mails and texts from people about my young friend's "irresponsible" coffee habit. To summarize, I have a young friend who recently gave up her six-times-per-week coffee shop visits. Making this sacrifice saves her $150/month, which sounds great......on the surface. Ultimately, though, she gave up one of the most important things in her life while blindly keeping a $675/month car payment that she couldn't care less about. The entire point of the piece was to suggest that we ought to thoughtfully look at our big rocks before willfully giving up smaller things that matter so much to us.

The hate came rushing in! To summarize at least a dozen people's responses to my article: Going to coffee shops is a waste of money.

That's it. Buying fancy coffee drinks at coffee shops is a terrible use of money. It's reckless, irresponsible, and foolish. There are a million better uses for that money than buying dumb coffee. That's the narrative.

Please allow me to rephrase the response I received from people: "Going to coffee shops is a waste of money.....for me."

The same can be said about countless other things:

• Golf is a waste of money......for me.

• Fancy restaurants are a waste of money.....for me.

• Hunting and fishing equipment is a waste of money.....for me.

• Sports and concert tickets are a waste of money.....for me.

• Spa treatments are a waste of money.....for me.

• Vacations are a waste of money.....for me.

• High-end fitness studios are a waste of money.....for me.

I have great news for you today. It doesn't matter what other people think you should do with your money. They have different values than you. They have different priorities than you. They have different beliefs than you. They have different standards than you.

When I look at the list of possible expenditures above, some appear awesome and some are a waste of money.....for me. If you discern the same list, you're going to have different answers.....for you. That's the beauty of pursuing meaning in our lives. It looks different for everyone. As soon as someone tries to tell you what should matter and what shouldn't, they've lost credibility to speak into your decision-making.

I don't care what expenditures you value and which ones you don't. My biggest care is that you know what's important to you, pursue it aggressively, and know what's not important to you, and avoid it just as aggressively. Whether you love or hate coffee, act accordingly. Whether you love or hate vacations, act accordingly. Whether you love or hate ____, act accordingly. That's where the rubber meets the road in finding more meaning in our money. Please don't fall for the trap of living other people's values. Your values are awesome enough.

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Don’t Miss the Big Rocks

One of my friends wants to get right with her money. She's sick of working so hard, yet feeling so little progress. She makes good money, but there never seems to be enough. She might as well be a hamster in a wheel. She's running fast, but not going far.

Here's another fact about my friend. She loves coffee! By "love," I mean it's one of her favorite things in the world. If she were to be honest, there are few things in life more enjoyable than going to her favorite coffee shop, spending time with the staff and other customers, and enjoying a good coffee drink. 

With that context in mind, here's what happened. She recently confessed to me that she stopped buying coffees. Her tone was simultaneously proud and depressed. Proud that she's able to save money on coffee, but depressed that she just sacrificed her favorite thing in the world. 

The sacrifice isn't immaterial, though. At about $6.50 per day, approximately six days per week, that's around $150/month she's now saving by not going out for coffee. Pretty cool, right? I'm sure the world will applaud her prudence and responsibility.

I have a different take, though. Yes, she's saving $150/month that can now go toward other expenses and goals. That's fantastic, but in doing so, she literally gave up one of the most valuable things in her life. That's a pretty tough sell for me.

In our conversation, I asked her a few other questions. Here's a little tidbit I found out: Her car payment is $675/month. Here's another fun fact: She doesn't give a crap about her car. It's a car. It gets her from Point A to Point B. Her decision to buy such a car stemmed from her family's insistence that she get something "reliable," and her peers' encouragement that she deserved to drive something nicer. Thus, she now spends $675/month on a car that barely moves the needle for her.

It's an interesting comparison. She gave up one of her favorite things in life to save $150/month, while at the same time, she is blindly paying $675/month for something she doesn't care about. I think she missed the mark.

Don't miss the big rocks in your life. It's so easy to point our fingers at the small, but obvious items in our lives that "we don't need." However, instead of trying to rob ourselves of the little pleasures that can add richness to our lives, perhaps we need to look for the bigger rocks; the larger but less obvious expenditures that significantly move the needle. Most of us have them......several of them.

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The Financial Paradox

I received a message from a blog reader the other day. In fairness, this person is also a trusted friend who has earned the right to be brutally honest with me. Here's what he said:

"For stressing the importance of meaning over money, you sure do talk about money a lot."

Ouch! While I could have taken offense to this, I think it brings up an important idea. There's a fun little paradox when it comes to this idea of focusing on the meaning by focusing on our finances.

When we don't properly address our finances and instead try to simply enjoy life, we find ourselves stressed out about money and feeling the weight of our financial pressures. Alternatively, when we spend time and energy intentionally handling our finances, it's much easier to live a life with materially less financial stress, without the weight of financial pressures.

In other words, when we spend adequate time and energy on getting our money right, we don't actually have to think nearly as much about money. See the paradox? When it comes to my own finances, I probably spend 15 minutes per week on finances. I allocate my transactions in my budgeting app, pay a handful of bills, and transfer some money. Once per month, I'll spend 10 minutes creating the following month's budget, then Sarah and I spend 5-10 minutes discussing/negotiating it. Then, probably around the 20th of the month, Sarah and I will talk for another 10 minutes to ensure we're not getting too far ahead of any given category. That's it, probably less than two hours per month.

Then, during the other 718 hours per month, we try to enjoy a meaningful life. We don't focus on the money so that we can obsess about the money. Rather, we focus on the money so that we don't have to dwell on the money.

No, we shouldn't constantly obsess about our money. At the same time, though, it's critical that we spend enough time getting our money right so that it doesn't have to be the frustrating elephant in the room for those other 718 hours.

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A Lesson From 10-Years-Ago Mr. Beast

Mr. Beast. He's the #1 YouTuber of all time. With 443 million subscribers, nobody has dominated the platform quite like him. He's a billionaire and a household name worldwide. Love him or hate him, people cannot deny the influence he's had over the past several years.

I don't regularly consume his content, but the video he posted yesterday quickly grabbed my attention. It's a video he recorded, uploaded, and scheduled 10 YEARS AGO. That's right. A video was published that had been in the YouTube queue for a decade. Here it is, in case you're interested in watching the three-minute clip.

I'm enthralled by this video, but for a different sort of reason. In it, he states that as of the time of recording, he had 8,000 subscribers. He's oozing with confidence, but at the same time, the appearance of so much doubt. He goes on record stating that if he doesn't have at least one million subscribers by the time this video is published, he will have failed. That's a pretty audacious goal, but in hindsight, it's funny (reminder: 443 million subscribers and the biggest YouTuber of all time). But I continue to be struck by the doubt in his voice.

It doesn't have to be one or the other. The majority of the most successful people I know possess both confidence and doubt. They are confident in the vision and their ability to execute, but at the same time, doubt is always on the mind. The fear of failure, impostor syndrome, and a lingering feeling that they are moving beyond their abilities.

I'm not going to self-label myself a success, but I can testify to having these very feelings. I wake up each day oozing with confidence about what I'm about to do, but at the same time, a constant and varying feeling of inadequacy. Can you relate?

I don't think we have to choose one or the other. In fact, I think the combination of both is healthy. If all we have is confidence, we can become arrogant, uncoachable, and stuck in our ways. If all we have is doubt, we hinder our ability to execute on the vision and are more likely to give up in the presence of challenges.

I hope you have a ton of confidence with your mission......but do so with humility and a coachable heart.

It's okay to have doubts, but take the appropriate steps to walk with confidence while you progress down the path.

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At 4PM

Where will you be at 4PM today? Not physically, but mentally, emotionally. What will be going through your mind when the bell strikes four? Studies show that 4PM on Sunday afternoons is the most depressing hour of the week. Why? The weekend has largely come to a close, and now our attention has shifted to what's ahead.....and what's ahead is work tomorrow. And considering 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs, by 4PM on Sunday afternoons, most people enter what's referred to as the Sunday Scaries.

Have you ever had the Sunday Scaries? I know I have! Based on the data, there's a high likelihood that more than half the people reading this know exactly what I'm talking about!

What about you, today? Will you be feeling the Sunday Scaries later today? Some of you already know the answer is "yes." If that's you, I have good news and bad news.

First, the good news. A different reality exists! Each of us has the power to choose a path that doesn't involve the Sunday Scaries. In fact, there's a reality where Sunday nights become one of the best nights of the week! It can be a chance to reflect on the fun weekend that was, while simultaneously getting excited for the good work that's to come.

Now, the bad news. Living a Sunday Scaries-free life doesn't happen by accident. We can't luck ourselves into it. It won't just automatically click. Removing the Sunday Scaries requires each of us to be intentional, taking specific steps to change our course. It often requires us to abandon comfort in pursuit of something grossly uncomfortable. The fear of the unknown is almost always scarier than our own sucky reality. However, what if I told you that the unknown you're so scared of can actually be oh so awesome?

I'm so unbelievably excited for Monday. By 4PM today, I will be increasingly pumped for the work I'm about to do this week. I can't tell you I've always lived in this reality, and I can't tell you it was easy to move into this new reality, but I will tell you that it was worth it every single bit.

Set an alarm on your phone for 4PM today. When it goes off, ask yourself how you're feeling. Take that answer for whatever it's worth.

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In a Snap

I have a story you've probably never heard. It's a story that took place more than eight years ago, but at the same time, it might as well have been eight days ago. It's a story that rocked me to the core then, and its implications still linger today.

After adopting our two little men (we brought them home on their one-month birthday), we knew we wanted to become parents again. We felt it in our souls. It wasn't a matter of if, but when. After the boys' first birthday, we decided to fire up the adoption process once again.

As our boys approached the 18-month-old mark, we found out we would soon be blessed with twin baby girls. We were ecstatic in ways I could never even express in words. In so many ways, this was the ultimate answer to our prayers.

Then, it happened. After a sequence of truly tragic events, we lost our daughters. To say we were gutted would be the understatement of a lifetime. At the same time, though, we still needed to love and parent those cute little boys at home. It was the loneliest and most numbing island either of us had ever been on. Mourning a tragic loss while also trying to be grateful for what God has already blessed us with. It felt like a paradoxical whipsaw.

In a snap, our lives changed forever. We were so broken by what happened that we closed the door on future children. I've since come to terms with all that happened, and I'm truly grateful for my two little men. Being their dad is one of the greatest joys of my life.

It's crazy how much life can change in a snap! One minute our world looks a certain way, then BOOM, it will never be the same again. These thoughts are always on my mind when I'm meeting with coaching clients. It's one thing to manage our life, work, and finances under the assumption that life is one way, but does our plan work if life changes in a snap?

This is where so many people get burned. Their lives are engineered for things to work so long as their reality remains similar to what it is today. What about the snap!?!? What will we do if our lives change in a snap? Can we navigate the choppy waters? Will we be able to pivot? Do we have the margin necessary to keep the proverbial train on the tracks?

I don't share my little sob story to garner pity. Rather, I want to illustrate that life can (and does) change in a snap. My biggest encouragement for you today is to prepare your lives for the snap. Where do you need to create margin? Where is your life currently too rigid and in need of flexibility? What shifts would you be able to make if everything blows up in your face?

I hope your life significantly lacks these negative in-a-snap moments, but let's not bank on it.

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As Simple As a Name

A few years back, one of my clients had a big, big dream. It was the type of dream that practically everyone in his life (but for his wife and me) told him was "stupid." It was "reckless," "irresponsible," and "selfish." In other words, he had a pretty awesome dream!

Like many people who pursue crazy dreams, it can be tremendously scary to walk away from a decent income and start over at something much lower. In this particular family's case, they would soon experience a 70% decrease in their monthly take-home income. Therefore, we needed to make a plan!

For each of the nine months leading up to the scary transition, the couple would set aside a chunk of cash in their emergency fund. After bulking up this fund, they would then be able to take monthly draws from it, as needed, to supplement their monthly income in the early stages of their new scary life.

One problem: the mere idea of drawing down their emergency fund felt terrible. As the husband put it, "I'll feel like I'm failing.....an emergency. I don't want my life to feel like an emergency." Even though that's what the money was supposed to be used for, he couldn't emotionally or mentally get over the idea of drawing down on his bulked-up emergency fund to feed his family.

Therefore, I suggested something ridiculous. "Change the name of the account." That's why they pay me the big bucks (haha!). They thought it was a stupid idea, but the conversation continued. If they are setting money aside for this very purpose, then drawing these funds as needed is the fulfillment of the dream. It's not a failure, but rather the realization of the dream! Therefore, I suggested they change the name of that account from "Emergency Fund" to "The Dream Fund."

While ridiculous, it's exactly what they needed. It completely flipped the switch from a behavioral science perspective. Instead of viewing the depletion of that account as a loss, they experienced it as the planned execution of the greatest adventure of their lives.

Fast forward to today, and they no longer have The Dream Fund. They made it to the other side of their scary transition, and instead of having a dream fund, they are living their best dream life. It hasn't been easy, but it's been one of the most meaningful endeavors they've ever experienced.

I'm so proud of them, and I love thinking about their story. Sometimes, it's as simple as a name. We humans are weird beings. We tell ourselves stories and twist around our own thoughts. We get in our own way and sabotage our own best interests. On the flip side, if we can hack our own behavioral quirks, we can get to the other side of a truly amazing life. Yes, it's ridiculous. But also, yes, it's awesome.

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Everything and Nothing

I was casually reviewing the finances of a young couple a few weeks ago; all normal stuff. Item by item, we checked off my list. Then, we got to savings. "How much do you have in savings?"

"We have $25,000 in our savings account."

"What is that account used for?"

"It's used for everything. We just throw money in it whenever we have extra, and that savings account is used for everything."

"By everything, do you mean nothing?"

***Uncomfortable laughter arose from both spouses.***

I want to share a massive behavioral science hack when it comes to saving. If you just blindly and arbitrarily dump money into a savings account that's intended for everything, it's actually used for nothing. Why? Because when something is for everything, then every penny spent on something is another penny that can't be spent on something else. We become paralyzed; everything becomes nothing.

The natural next step is that we simply become hoarders. If our savings account is for everything, then there's no amount of money that's enough. After all, everything is a lot of money.....infinite money. Thus, we simply hoard.

Then, if we're hoarding money into an "everything" savings account, there's a series of opportunity costs:

• We don't actually save for our future needs in life.

• We feel guilty for spending money on wants.

• We don't get around to investing for our future.

• We don't even get close to opening up our generosity.

Everything stalls at the blind saving.

Here's my suggestion. Open a series of savings accounts. Name them. Give each a purpose. Needs savings. Wants savings. Then, in your monthly budget, specifically allocate money to them. Actually fund them. If you say you're going to save $500 in your Travel Fund savings account this month, move $500 into your savings account this month.

Once that happens, it's technically already been spent: travel. Therefore, there's no doubt what that money is to be used for. It's sitting in a dedicated savings account specifically for you to enjoy on a trip. No guilt. No second-guessing. No doubts. It's already been saved. Now, enjoy! The same goes for every other category. Be specific. Be intentional. Don't psych yourself out. Honor the promises you made to yourself.

This one little hack can transform our relationship with money. I encourage you to give it a shot!

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The Benefit of Hindsight

I received several angry messages from buddies regarding my recent post about why we shouldn't time the stock market. These buddies, of course, are "investing experts." They are mirror images of the man I covered in the previous post. They believe what he believes and acts as he acts. Here's what one of them said (excluding the expletives):

"You can't invest today in good faith. The &%$#@!& market is far too expensive. Every dollar you put in is begging to be lost. Stop giving your readers &@$#% advice!"

I present to you Exhibit A:

This is a graph of the U.S. stock market (S&P 500) since 1/1/2000. As 2000 unfolded (far left side of the graph), due to the tech bubble, the stock market hit unprecedented levels of "too expensive." The market was clearly overvalued, and experts warned that it was too high to justifiably invest.

Do you see where this is going? Yeah, while the market felt a bit rich in 2000, with the benefit of hindsight, it now looks cheap. In fact, today, the stock market is 4.4x higher than it was at the peak of "too expensive" in August 2000.

It's not all roses and sunshine, though. What you'll see if you look close enough at this graph are the following rough patches:

• 46% loss after all-time high in August 2000

• 54% loss after all-time high in October 2007 (second-worst crash in history)

• 32% loss after all-time high in January 2020

• 25% loss after all-time high in December 2021

• 20% loss after all-time high in January 2025

And today, after the stock market hit a new all-time high in September 2025, we're back in the same position. Will we get our butts kicked again? Absolutely! However, with the benefit of hindsight, today's all-time high will eventually look cheap.

I say it over and over again, but please don't let the naysayers (or "experts") scare you into fear-based decisions. History always has a way of taking care of itself.....eventually. The benefit of hindsight will soon prove your patience right.

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Accountability, But With Grace

A few days ago, I shared my It's Gotta Come From Somewhere principle. When we screw up our budget (when, not if), we can't give yourselves a free pass, nor can we take the path of least resistance by robbing our savings, throwing it on a credit card, or melting away our cushion. Instead, once we blow our budget, our immediate mission is to reallocate cash from a different category to fill the gap.

One nuance I don't think I delivered properly was the importance of giving ourselves grace in the process. Don't beat yourself up. Don't linger on the failure for days, weeks, or months. Don't let it define you. Don't get into constant fights about it with your spouse. Forgive yourselves (and each other!) and move on.

It doesn't have to be one or another. We don't have to choose between dealing with the consequences OR giving ourselves grace. Instead, we should deal with the consequences of our mistakes WHILE giving ourselves grace. Grace does not mean the absence of consequences and accountability, just as the presence of consequences and accountability does not mean the absence of grace.

I work with couples who still can't get over $1,000 mistakes they made nine years ago. Nearly a decade later, they still beat themselves and each other up over it. They've long ago dealt with the consequences of their mistakes, but haven't found a way to offer grace yet.

I'll say something profoundly obvious and simple: We can't live a truly meaningful life if we're dwelling on past financial mistakes. Let's say you made a $1,000 screw-up 12 months ago, and you've been carrying it with you. What you're essentially telling yourself is that your happiness and fulfillment are worth a mere $1,000. I don't think that's true, and you probably don't, either, but your attitude toward the mistake says otherwise.

Here's my challenge for you today. Think about your past financial mistakes, regrets, and screw-ups. Think about each one of them. Which ones weigh on your conscience? Which ones linger within you? Please find a way to give yourself grace and move on. You can't undo what's happened in the past, but you can CHOOSE to stop letting it impair your present.

Accountability, yes. Consequences, yet. But always grace, too.

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Thanks For the Pain!

Some days I have to find my writing inspiration, and some days my writing inspiration finds me. Today is an example of the latter. As I was casually scrolling my social media feeds yesterday, I stumbled upon a post by my friend Teresa. She owns a successful business and continues to grow more excellent each day. Here's an excerpt from her post:

"I'd like to once again take a second to thank my previous employer for laying me off. Every knockdown is just an opportunity to come back even stronger."

Her story is wild, and similar to many epic stories of success, it involves profound pain. It would be so easy for her to wish away all the junk that's happened to her, but at the same time, that same junk is what set the table for what has become a beautiful story.

Had she not experienced the pain, uncertainty, and stress of a layoff (with a baby at home, mind you), I'm not sure she would have developed the vision and courage to launch the business she's now blessed with. Comfort might have lulled her into complacency. "Good enough" could have been the motto of her prime years. She might have conceded that mild misery is an acceptable way to traverse this thing called life.

Instead, though, pain met her head-on! The pain knocked her down, forcing her to take a hard look in the mirror; a glimpse in the mirror she might have avoided if things were merely "good enough."

I can relate to Teresa's experience so much, and I have a feeling many of you can, too. One of the worst experiences of my life was being 3.5 years into my dream career and learning that my company was being shut down. I had also been engaged to my wife for just three days (yeah, that was fun). I had my comfortable life all planned out when I woke up that morning, but by the time I went to bed, I was hurt and scared.

Fast forward 17 years, and I can now confidently say that the most profoundly painful experience in my life was the beginning of the most beautiful journey. NONE of what I have today would be without me having gone through the pain, suffering, and uncertainties brought on by that debacle.

Thanks for the pain! Cheers, Teresa! From one hurt friend to another, I'm so glad you're a living, breathing example of what it looks like to use one's pain for good. People are watching. People are noticing. People will continue to be impacted by your example. Keep pursuing excellence!

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It’s Gotta Come From Somewhere

As the month winds down, Sarah and I realized we bombed a few of our budget categories. Specifically, we totally botched the kids, dining out, and entertainment categories. Part of this was due to the kids' birthday, but another part was just negligence. We fell asleep at the wheel.

It's not ideal, but it's also not the end of the world. With that said, there's still no free pass. As I tell all my coaching clients, "It's gotta come from somewhere." It's okay to whiff on categories every once in a while, but when we do, the money has to come from somewhere. Dipping into savings, tapping credit cards, or further depleting our checking account balance aren't great answers. Instead, it comes down to reallocating money in the budget.

Let's say we overspend on a handful of categories by $500. There's only so much income coming in this month. In other words, we need to figure out where we can find $500. In our particular situation, it's going to come from an important savings goal we established a few months ago. Instead of setting money aside for this particular item, we need to reallocate that cash in our budget to subsidize our mistakes. It hurts, but it's pure.

That sucks, and that's the point! When we don't allow ourselves free passes to be negligent or irresponsible, it provides an added layer of accountability. I hate that we screwed this up, in part, because I hate the consequence of not being able to set money aside for an important purchase. On the flip side, we need this level of accountability so we'll be better next time.

And we WILL do better next time. These things are too important for us to continuously screw up. We made a mistake. We fixed the mistake. Now, we must do it better in October so we can achieve our goal. It's simple, but powerful.

Don't give yourself a free pass. When you screw up, it's gotta come from somewhere. Don't allow yourself to live without consequences or accountability; that's a recipe for disaster! Short-term disaster. Medium-term disaster. And most importantly, long-term disaster.

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Live By the Sword, Die By the Sword

A massive scandal broke out in my city yesterday. Then, in mere minutes, it became a national scandal. Protests were quickly organized, and idealizations of riots were discussed on social media. Then, the inevitable happened. Local companies began drawing lines in the sand and making bold proclamations on their business social media accounts. Not the owners' pages, not the employees' pages, but the actual business pages.

One of my close friends sent me a sharp, but concise assessment that sums up his perspective (and mine): "Live by the sword, die by the sword."

This is a topic I've written about at length. Whenever a company decides to embody human values and shove them down the throats of its customers, two things will inevitably happen:

1. Current and prospective customers who share said values will be immediately attracted to the business. They will throw "support" at the business by posting about it on social media, buying something from the business, and/or giving a good review of the business on Google or another review website. I call this living by the sword.

2. Current and prospective customers who disagree with said values will be immediately revolted by the business.They will likely never engage with this business again, drag the business through the mud with whatever influence they have, and/or give a terrible review. I call this dying by the sword.

Here's the problem about living by the sword and dying by the sword. It's not a zero-sum game. When businesses lose a customer due to these practices, the customers are gone forever (possibly taking others with them). However, when a business gains a customer due to these practices, the customer likely won't remain a customer.

Why? Any "support" someone shows a business as a result of a company projecting certain values is fleeting. It's not builton trust, competency, or tangible value. Relationships not built on excellence are temporary or false relationships. It likely doesn't have legs.

I've watched so many of my friends torch their businesses to the ground by living by the sword and dying by the sword. It doesn't take much to move the needle in a negative direction. At first, it doesn't feel like it's hurting all that much. "I don't need their business anyway." Slowly but surely, though, the business feels the impact. A little this month. A little next month. It's not the end of the world, though! Then, before they know it, it's getting harder and harder to connect the financial dots. I've seen it so many times, and unfortunately, I'll continue to see more of it.

Here's the alternative: pursue excellence. Serve people well. Add value to their lives. Make a positive impact on their day. All the people! The people you love AND the people you might hate (if that's something you're feeling). Just be excellent.....period. Excellence always wins. If we do that, the rest will take care of itself. However, if we decide to live by the sword, we'll eventually die by the sword.

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When the Stingrays Eat Your Fist

We had a great time adventuring around Chicago yesterday. One of the highlights of the day was spending time at Shedd's Aquarium, one of the best aquariums in the country. I remember going there as a kid, and it lived up to the hype that lives in my head. The kids had a blast, and we saw some pretty remarkable things.

One of my personal highlights was watching the boys feed stingrays. If you've never fed a stingray, it's an intimidating task. You take half of a small dead fish (such as a sardine) and close your fist around it, with a good portion of the fish protruding above your fist. Then, you dunk your fist as far under water as possible so the stingray can swim over the fish. Lastly, the stingray opens its mouth as it swims over, snagging the dead fish out of your closed fist.

On the first pass, one of the stingrays practically swallowed Pax's entire fist while trying to grab the fish out of it. Pax looked in shock, but he quickly gained the confidence to try again. Finn was the same way. What started as a scary endeavor quickly morphed into a fun adventure.

I love manufacturing scary situations, both for myself and for my kids. Not fear for fear's sake, but rather, the opportunity to push ourselves past what we thought was possible.

I'm heading back into the Boundary Waters wilderness next week, ready to again face my fears. This will be my 7th or 8th trip there, and I can't say it ever gets easy. It will be cold, wet, physically challenging, uncomfortable, and mentally draining. I'm dreading it. However, at the same time, I also crave it. I need my system to be shocked. I need to face discomfort in the most direct of ways.

Some of the best growth of my life has happened in the Boundary Waters. It's where I discovered true contentment. It's where I realized life isn't meant to be lived in comfort. It's where I found out there's far more in me than I ever knew.

So when I watched my kids struggle to feed those stingrays, all I could do was smile. They were fighting their own battles, facing their own fears. Ultimately, they prevailed and learned some valuable lessons. I hope to do the same thing next week when I face my fears in the wilderness.

That's my challenge for you today as well. Find ways to get uncomfortable, face fears, push yourself in ways you never knew existed. Every time we force ourselves to do scary things, we become the type of person who does scary things. It might start simple, like feeding a stingray or sleeping in 25-degree weather with no tent, but it can quickly morph into the way we approach the bigger things in life: our career, finances, relationships, and parenting.

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Investing In Two Little Banditos

Amidst one of the most challenging stretches of my last five years, I was able to carve out a few days to travel to Chicago with my family. The goal? Attend a Twenty One Pilots show for Finn and Pax's ninth birthday. It cost money, time, rest, and several other not-insignificant sacrifices. It, along with many other things, has added a tremendous amount of pressure to my life.

All that being said, it was so good to lock in a new memory with my kids. We had a blast at the concert (their third Twenty One Pilots concert to date). There's nothing like watching their excitement build, then experience the payoff, one song after another. They screamed, sang, laughed, and reacted with awe. It was amazing.

There are a lot of things I could have used with this money, time, and bandwidth, but I'm glad I invested all of that into making memories with the kids.

That's the tension we face each day. There's always something that needs our money. There's always an obligation that needs our time. There's always a pressure that requires our bandwidth. There's always something that needs some of our something. If we're not careful, we'll get so lost in the needs that we forget about the other important things in life.

Last night, though, the other important things got addressed in my life. I'm grateful for that, and hopefully, it will provide memories that last a lifetime.

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A View to the Other Side

A few weeks back, one of my friends asked me a fairly sharp question. It wasn't meant to be offensive, condemning, or destructive. It was a sharp, but sincere question: "Why do you so aggressively talk about these meaning over money principles when most of the world already agrees with you?"

I thought she was joking! When the rest of the world already agrees with me?!?!? What planet is my friend living on? I asked her a few questions, and here's what I discovered. She's a Gen-Z'er who spends most of her time with other Gen-Z'ers. That generation, stereotypically speaking, believes more in these meaning over money principles than any generation before. In any event, she's inadvertently surrounded by a lot of people who loosely believe that meaning is more important than money.

However, she's also built differently. She oozes meaning. She's passionate about what she does, and her calling is profound. She also carries herself with a lot of contentment.....i.e. the materialistic ways of our culture don't sway her as much as others.

To summarize, though, she generally believes that most people fall in her camp. I hated to break it to her, but she's an odd duck in our modern society. An awesome duck, but an odd duck. I love how she sees the world, but she's the exception, not the rule.

Want to know what the rule is? This is the rule. Check out this short video clip. You can either click THIS LINK or click the image below. If you don't have TikTok on your device, you can open it in a web browser. I would paraphrase it or quote it, but I need you to see it with your own eyes and hear it with your own ears.

@mikemancusi The answer is money. Its always money. #money #moneytok #finance #lifeadvice ♬ original sound - Mike Mancusi

This is what I'm battling every day. Not him. Not this particular man. He might be a great guy. I don't know anything about him, and this is literally the only video I've ever consumed of his. For all I know, he and I could be buds. But his perspective - the sheer bluntness of his perspective - is analogous to what much of our society believes. And when people believe something, their actions typically follow suit.

This brings me to my purview. Every day, I interact with countless people who are making decisions in accordance with beliefs similar to those in this video. It's not going well. At scale, people are making decisions to sabotage their lives and any meaning they could be pursuing. This is leading to record-breaking mental health struggles and an epidemic of Americans disliking or hating their jobs. Depression up. Divorce up. Suicide up. So many bad things....up.

As you navigate your day today, I encourage you to think about this. Which belief system do you subscribe to? Whatever your answer was, what decision patterns are stemming from these beliefs? Is it time to make an adjustment? Whether I know you or not, I desire so much better for you than more money. I'm not against you having more money, but at the same time, I want something for you that money can never buy: meaning and purpose.

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Someone Should Check On Him

I had a doomed conversation in early April. One of my friends, a self-described investing expert (but with a bunch of suffixes after his name to back up his mouth), made a dire proclamation to me. In his words, "the stock market meltdown has begun.....it's time to go all cash." Translation: He, in all his brilliance, was predicting an immediate, all-out stock market crash and planned to sell all his investments to avoid losing money. Further, with his masterful wisdom, he was telling everyone around him (including me) to do the same.

Here's some added context. When he shared his "expertise" with me, it was in the midst of the great tariff scare of 2025. The stock market had experienced a few bad weeks, and people were anxious. The overall stock market was down nearly 20% from the all-time high it experienced just six weeks prior. That's when he sold.

My buddy had personally lost $200,000 (around 17%) and was now sitting on about $1,000,000 of cash in his portfolio. According to him, he was going to let the market continue to crash, and he would swoop back in to "buy the dip."

Five months have passed since he made this decision. Wanna know where we stand today? The market is up approximately 40% since he sold all his investments. 40%!!! The market has hit 24 new all-time highs since his bold proclamation, including a new one yesterday afternoon.

Had he simply done what actual wise investors do (nothing!), his $1M portfolio would be up by $400,000. In his desire to be smarter than everyone else and try to play games with the market, he lost out on $400,000 (!!!!) of upside. All he had to do was nothing. Literally, nothing. When I explained to him that his strategy has a terrible historical track record, he laughed. Today, he's $400,000 poorer because of it.

Someone should check on him. Well, I actually did yesterday. Let's just say "frustrated" would be a gross understatement to describe his state of being. He was so sure he was going to outsmart the market this time. He would have bet his life savings on it. Strike that, he did bet his life savings on it.....and lost.

He's at a loss on how to move forward. Does he now wait until the market falls? Does he just lick his wounds and get the money back working for him? Both options feel like a loss to him. These are the psychological implications of trying to play these sorts of games.

Here's what I told him: "What's done is done. You can't go back and get a redo. However, you can promise yourself you'll never do this again. Call it an expensive lesson. Humble yourself. Don't try to be smarter than everyone else. Invest your money and leave it invested. The market will take care of the rest....eventually."

We'll see where he goes from here, but it's a cautionary tale for all of us. The best investors in the world are the ones who know they aren't smarter than the market. Patience beats brains every day of the week. I have 155 years of history to prove it. Today is a great day to do nothing, and tomorrow is a great day to do nothing, too.

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