No Free Lunch

Sarah and I are considering a decision that would increase our monthly expense load. It's a want - absolutely not necessary - but it may add a ton of value to our family's life.

"But what are we going to give up?" I asked Sarah. In a vacuum, this decision is a no-brainer for us. Unfortunately, though, we don't live in vacuums. We live in the real world where you can't just magically increase your expenses and have no consequences. And no, "We'll just make more money" isn't an acceptable answer.

If we add a meaningful expense, what are we willing to sacrifice to make it happen? Sarah had some suggestions:

• Cut personal spending

• Reduce travel fund contributions

• Cut back on our kids budget

• Scale back dining out

Something has to go, and it's probably going to be something that matters to us. That's how this money stuff works. Every decision requires a counter-decision. We can have fun things, but we can't have all the fun things.

I firmly believe most families would make drastically different decisions if they embraced this concept. If we live a life where we just add, add, add, and add, that's called delusion. It's also the gateway to a disastrous inflection point at somepoint in the near future. It WILL catch up with us one way or another. We'll either end up deeply in debt, completely lacking the resources for a dignified retirement, rob us of our freedom, or cost us what we want most.

This is peak personal responsibility. This is where the rubber meets the road. Yes, make decisions that lead to cooloutcomes. Yes, give yourself the freedom to invest in memories and experiences. But whenever you do, be willing to have the hard conversation about what you're willing to give up to make it happen. There's no free lunch, and that's a good thing!

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Not All Roses and Sunshine

"I wish my job was fun like yours." These were the words of a close friend, comparing his job to mine.

First, I'm flattered that he thinks my job is fun. It can be....some hours…..of some days. Truth is, though, my job isn't "fun." It's often heavy, stressful, chaotic, exhausting, and mentally/emotionally taxing. Oh yeah, and it's also tremendously meaningful and fulfilling.

Herein is the lie. Work that matters does not mean fun work. It can be fun, but work doesn't need to be fun to be meaningful. Meaningful work is meaningful work.....period.

This is the lie my friend fell for. He actually finds deep meaning and fulfillment in his work, but since it's stressful and often "not fun," he has a twisted perception that he needs to find something more fun. I think he's in the absolute perfect spot for him! He's doing exactly what he's called to do, he's making a massive impact, and he goes to bed at night with a feeling of contentment and accomplishment.

As you begin your week, don't ask yourself if your job is fun or if you enjoy it. Instead, ask yourself:

• Do I find meaning in my work?

• Am I making a difference?

• Do I believe in the mission?

• Do I look forward to it?

• Do I miss it after being gone for a while?

• Does it allow me to utilize the skills I'm gifted with?

Truth is, I've had a heck of a stressful few weeks. Lots of late nights. Lots of difficult conversations. Lots of chaos. However, at the same time, I've felt a deep sense of fulfillment and meaning in what's happened. It hasn't been a ton of fun, but it matters.

So, next time you find yourself wishing your work was more fun, consider asking yourself the above questions instead. After all, fun isn't what we're really seeking. Meaning is what we're really looking for.

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A Shared Experience Double Date

Sarah and I went on a double date with another couple last night. I've been excited about this date for a while, and it didn't disappoint. However, I was caught off guard early in the night. The husband, a regular reader of this blog, announced he wanted to do this date "Shelton Family Style." This was a reference to a post I wrote 19 months ago about the power of actually shared experiences. Whenever my family goes out to eat, no matter the restaurant, we eat family style. We order a handful of items from the menu and share them with the entire family. It's a practice I picked up in Asia, and it's transformed our dining experiences.

Last night, though, I didn't expect that to happen. It's not a normal American custom to eat family style at most restaurants. Even when my friend said he wanted to do it, I didn't fully believe him. Each of us ordered something different, and I fully expected Sarah and I to share like we always do. However, as soon as the food arrived, I realized my friend was serious. We spent the next few minutes sliding blocks of food onto extra plates and divvying it up. Then, we dug in!

It was amazing! Each of us experienced four different entrees. It was part of the conversation. What we liked (almost everything), what we didn't (almost nothing), and why. We all received variety. We shared that experience together. By the time we finished, I had become an even bigger fan of that restaurant, as I experienced excellence across the board. It was a significantly memorable experience, and one I'm so grateful to have shared with my friends.

While this may seem like a random or inapplicable topic for this blog, I think it's highly impactful. It's really about creating and curating memories, moments, and experiences. It's about building relationships and adding richness to life.

Yes, we could simply stick to the normal ways of doing things; there's nothing wrong with that. Or, we can take a chance, get a bit uncomfortable, and try something that just might transform the experience. I'm so grateful my friends pushed the idea last night, and perhaps today, you can find your own ways to lean into similar ideas with people in your life. Share experiences, make memories, and create moments.

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The Three Types of People

I've long believed there are only two types of men in this world: Those who can wear fancy hats, and those who can't. I fit squarely in the can't camp.

As much as I'd like to spend the next 450 words lamenting my inability to pull off fancy hats, I want to instead discuss a different type of grouping I often think about. This time, I believe there are three types of people in this world:

1) People who say yes to anything and everything, always jumping at the newest shiny object.

2) People who take the path of least resistance. They will say yes to the easy things, no to the challenging things, and do whatever is necessary to coast through life by giving the least amount of effort possible.

3) People who say yes to meaningful and impactful things, regardless of how difficult and painful they might be. While the things they say yes to may seem scattered or random, common and powerful themes tie them all together. This is the group I was advocating for in yesterday’s post.

I used to spend a lot of time in camp #1. I would say yes to anything that sounded interesting. The net result of this behavior was a constant sense of overwhelmingness and stress. People who live in this camp aren't trying to sabotage their lives, but rather discover what moves the needle and what doesn't. It's the visible manifestation of curiosity and self-discovery. I still have tendencies toward this camp, but I've been able to hone in on what matters most.

I'd argue that most people live in camp #2. They just want to do their job, not kill themselves doing it, come home, hang with family, and repeat. They prefer not to get too involved with the problems of this world, instead choosing to pursue a better life for themselves and those they love. They mind their business, keep their head down, and keep moving forward through life.

I'm not a fan of camp #2. I get why people live in it, though. It's comfortable. It's simple. It's predictable. It's linear. On the surface, all of those traits sound appealing. However, in my opinion, there's something missing. It's like preparing a beautiful steak to perfection, but not seasoning it. It's got a nice sear, and the cross-cut reveals your precisely executed temperature. It looks amazing! You take a bite, expecting something wonderful.....but it tastes bland. It's got the look, texture, and temperature, but it has no flavor.

I'm not an advocate for people chasing shiny objects all the time. I don't think we should say yes to all things. It's a one-way ticket to burnout. However, I will fight until my last breath for people to transition from camp #2 to camp #3. Some of you might be one "yes" away from changing the trajectory of your life forever. Not an easier life. Not a more comfortable life. Not a wealthier financial life. But a better life.....full of meaning, impact, fulfillment.....and flavor.

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Biting Off More Than You Can Chew

Have you ever said "yes" to something that was far bigger than what you were capable of? Something you had no business saying yes to? Something that almost makes you feel like an idiot for even considering? I've had my share:

• As a 19-year-old, running a college program responsible for bringing celebrities to campus to speak and perform (which usually included dinner and airport drives with said celebrities).

• Adopting twin baby boys.

• Managing billions of dollars of real estate portfolios for some of the largest investors in the world.

• Building a coffee company.

• Launching a podcast when I knew absolutely nothing about podcasting.

• Committing to writing, editing, and publishing one blog post per day for the next twenty years.

To be honest, I shouldn't have said yes to a single one of these. I wasn't qualified for any of them. There was definitely a possibility I would fail. There were absolutely more qualified people for the job.

But saying yes to these types of things is how we grow. It's how we expand our capabilities. It's how we make an impact. Anyone can coast, do the easy things, and simply get by. The art of pushing oneself is also the art of moving the proverbial needle.

I recently said yes to something new. I'm terrified. I'm in way over my head. I might fail. There are most certainly more qualified people than me. But here we are. This new endeavor will soon take me to a faraway land, a completely unfamiliar place. I will be pushed and challenged in ways I've never known. It sounds terrible.....it sounds amazing!

I can't say much about it yet, but rest assured, you will hear plenty about it in due time. Some of you, if interested, will also receive an invitation to get involved. It will be exciting. In the meantime, I'll just be over here in the fetal position, repeatedly asking myself why I just signed up for one of the most intimidating things I've ever been part of.

I hope you bite off more than you can chew today. I hope you say yes to something ridiculous and scary. Not so that you can fail (though you might), but so you can make an impact. You will no doubt grow along the way as well.

Conquer the day!

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When the Experts Aren’t Experting

Yesterday's post landed well and resulted in much dialogue. I've received countless questions, responses, and personal testimonies. Then, I received an unexpected message from a close friend. This friend denounced my insights and said he will trust social media influencer xyz, who says we should sell all of our assets and wait out the storm. I looked up xyz influencer and immediately noticed a few things:

• He has a ton of followers

• He's super young

• He's only been investing for a few years

• He has a twisted and underwhelming understanding of finance

Why did my friend choose to follow the advice of this far less experienced and less knowledgeable person? Because this person has 100x more social media followers than I do. Translation: This guy is an expert.

It reminds me of a story I think about often. When Sarah and I first became parents, I was worried about my kids developing food allergies. It never sat well with me that more people than ever have allergies, and I desperately wanted my kids to avoid it. With this concern in mind, I sought the best expert I could find.

At the time, I was on a non-profit board of directors with a man who founded one of the world's largest food allergy testing labs. He was a pioneer in the field. He had zero social media followers. He's not famous. His face isn't plastered all over the internet. His video clips haven't gone viral. He's a good, humble, honest, and wise man.

I approached him with my concern. Was there anything I could do as a parent to help prevent food allergies from being an issue with my children? He gave me an overwhelming "yes" response and shared his wisdom on preventing food allergies. In short, his advice flew in the face of all the so-called "experts" spouting off their opinions. It was simple. It was profound. Fast forward eight years, and we don't have a single food allergy. Is that because of my friend's advice? Is it because my kids simply had a genetic disposition against food allergies? We may never know, but I trusted a true expert.

A few years later, this conversation came up with a trusted friend about to have her first child. She, too, had the same allergy concern as I did. I shared the wise advice of my allergy expert friend, and she thanked me.

Fast forward a year, I asked her if she followed my friend's advice. No, she didn't. Ultimately, she trusted the advice of a few famous social media moms who had opinions on the subject. The advice was the opposite of my friend's advice. The result? Every one of her kids has food allergies.....bad food allergies. Was it because of her approach? Was it because her kids simply had a genetic disposition toward food allergies? We may never know, but she trusted a famous person with an opinion.

We need to discern our sources carefully. It's so easy to get swept up by the loudest and sexiest voices. There is so much bad information floating around out there. Be careful. Be vigilant. Be discerning.

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"It's Different This Time"

I recently met with a concerned friend. On the heels of the recent stock market volatility, he's convinced the best course of action is to sell his investment portfolio and save himself from imminent doom. I explained how this is the nature of the stock market, and how patient people will be rewarded. His response: "This time it's different."

This is where he began to explain all the reasons why my stock market knowledge and fancy data are garbage. Because of x, y, and z, we're doomed, and as such, people should sell out and find alternative investments (such as gold, bonds, cash, crypto, etc.).

In the last 150 years, the stock market has fallen by at least 20% on 23 different occasions. That's once every 6.5 years. Not only has the market recovered each time, but it's recovered to new all-time highs the world has never seen. Every crash has been followed by unprecedented prosperity. 23 out of 23. Do you know what else happened in each one of these 23 stock market collapses? There was a large group of people who said, "It's different this time."

We perpetually think we're living in never-seen-before dark times. Given our biases, we think it couldn't possibly get worse than our current situation. And therefore, "it's different this time."

"It's different this time," said the people in the aftermath of the Civil War, when the railroad system failed, when the industrial revolution caused a massive labor shift, when World War I froze international trade, when we experienced the Great Depression, when the world spiraled into World War II, when the oil crisis hit, when our president was assassinated, when we endured a handful more wars, when the tech bubble burst, when 9/11 shook our nation to its core, when we experienced the worst housing crisis in U.S. history, and when the world shut down due to a sudden global pandemic.

Every single time something terrible happens, our gut reaction is to believe it's different this time. Translation: It doesn't matter that history says patient people will be rewarded.....it's time to react! Fear is a destructive bedfellow.

23 times our stock market has fallen by at least 20%. 23 times it subsequently rose to unprecedented levels. 23 out of 23 times, patience won. 23 out of 23 times, rash decisions got punished.

Could it be different this time? I suppose. But history tells us we've been here before. History tells us the best is yet to come.

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Ahhhh, Simpler Times

One of my favorite features of Apple's iPhone iOS is the ability to use widgets on the home screen. My two favorite widgets are Weather and Photos. I like the Weather widget because, well, weather. And I like the Photos widget because it continually curates images from my ever-changing Featured album. Yesterday, while in the thick of some heavy business challenges, I was hit with this image:

"Ahhhh, simpler times," I thought to myself. This picture was taken 18 years ago, shortly after Sarah and I started dating. We were so young, so energetic, so spirited, so......naive. We had our entire lives ahead of us, and nothing was going to stop us.

As I look at that picture, part of me instantly wishes we could go back to these simpler times. Less stress, less pressure, less tension. The couple in this picture hadn't yet experienced so much of the pain and suffering that would soon arrive:

• The involuntary relocation.

• The death threats.

• Five years of gut-wrenching fertility battles.

• The loss of a newborn.

• Marital tension.

• Losing relationships with half of my family.

• Two life-altering injuries.

• Business failures.

• Countless deaths.

In some ways, I yearn to go back to those simpler times. Life would be so much easier if I could wipe my memory and live without this burden. If I could make the pain go away. Maybe get zapped with one of those little flashing memory-wiping gadgets used in Men In Black. Even if I had the chance, I wouldn't, though.

That young guy I see in the photo. While he can jump a lot higher and has a lot less gray hair, he can't make an impact like the current version of me can. He doesn't have the skills, wisdom, and experience to move the needle in people's lives. He wants to, but he can't......yet. He still needs to endure the pain, suffering, and struggle waiting for him before he'll be ready to maximize his impact.

The same goes for you. You undoubtedly have pain, suffering, and struggle in your past (and probably your present). That doesn't make you lesser. It doesn't hinder you. It doesn't make you a failure. It's actually what has shaped you to do the work you're about to do. Sure, your life would be much simpler had you not had to endure all that, but it also would have taken you out of the game to make the impact you are meant to make.

You didn't go through all that for nothing. The pain wasn't endured in vain. This is where it gets good!

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What is Excellence?

I'm preparing for what may be the most anticipated talk I've ever given. The audience will include CEOs and other leaders from some of the most well-known organizations in the Midwest. The topic? Excellence.

I'll be exploring how organizations can practice excellence in their day-to-day operation. Not by simply talking about excellence, but actually putting one foot in front of the other.

As a consumer, what does excellence look like to you? What would an organization do that would make you stop and think, "Wow, that was amazing!"

My mind immediately gravitates to Chewy, an online pet supply company. This story has lived rent-free in my head ever since I first heard it. One of the things Chewy is most known for is its monthly subscriptions to pet food and other frequently-used supplies, which systematically show up at the consumer's door. These products are needed, like clockwork, month after month. But then, something tragic happens: the loss of a pet. It's inevitable.

This is when a potential gut-wrenching moment happens. A family is mourning the loss of its pet, and a fresh bag of dog food shows up at the door (along with a new charge on their card). Talk about rubbing salt in the wound.

The customer calls Chewy to cancel the subscription, explaining their pet recently passed away. Chewy, in its relentless pursuit of excellence, reacts with empathy. First, it reverses the charge on that customer's card while simultaneously canceling their subscription. Second, it tells the customer NOT to send the supplies back. Instead, please bless a friend or loved one with them. Third, Chewy sends the customer a bouquet of flowers, communicating its condolences for their recent loss. That's excellence in practice.

I have a first-hand story to add to the mix. About six weeks ago, one of our periodic Northern Vessel customers stopped by the shop with his dog. During the interaction, one of our baristas offered the dog a treat. The man declined, citing that the dog only eats one particular kind of treat. The barista made a mental note.

Six weeks go by, and the man returns to the shop, again accompanied by his dog. And again, our barista offers the dog a treat. The man declined, citing that the dog only eats one particular kind of treat. This time, though, the barista was prepared. He pulled out the exact treat this man's dog could have and presented one to the sweet dog. The man was shocked.....and grateful. Our barista, in my humble opinion, showed excellence.

What about you? Would you share a personal story of excellence with me? What experience moved the needle for you? How did it impact your relationship with that organization? I thrive on these stories, and I firmly believe my future audience will, too!

Always seek excellence. Whether you're going to the grocery store, getting your vehicle serviced, grabbing a cup of coffee, or getting your hair cut. Anyone can perform a task, but why not choose excellence? Oh yeah, while you're at it, choose to be the excellence other people deserve!

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Wipe Up That Water

Creativity is the most powerful weapon in our toolbelt. It's the tool that unlocks doors and unveils new opportunities. Creativity can (and should) be integrated into all aspects of our lives, including generosity.

As I often discuss, we all have something to give. Our unique roles in life provide unique giving opportunities. However, our lack of creativity frequently holds us back. We either think too linearly, or we're not thinking at all. Life can be crazy, and we get so consumed by our tasks that we don't see all the fun opportunities around us. I'm certainly guilty of this at times!

However, if we keep our eyes and ears open, allow ourselves to think creatively, and are willing to step into the opportunity, amazing things can happen. I have two fun examples of this.

Yesterday, during our weekly Northern Vessel run with the family, I stumbled into a fun opportunity. As usual, the place was packed, and the line extended outside onto the sidewalk. I started a casual conversation with a woman and her cute little daughter while we waited. Turns out, the daughter loves our donuts. However, since it was so late in the morning, the mom warned her daughter they would probably be sold out. She wasn't wrong. We usually sell 8-10 dozen by mid-morning on the weekends, so the odds weren't in her favor.

I asked the girl what her favorite kind of donut was. "Cherry, or the sprinkle one." I told her I would check to see if we have any, and if we do, make sure she gets one. I immediately bee-lined it to the pastry case and noticed a few donuts left.....and one was cherry! I asked barista Dante if he could pull one for a little girl in line, and he nodded.

When it was my family's turn to order, I purchased that cherry donut and quickly handed it to that little girl. Her eyes lit up, and she called me "a nice man." So sweet! I'm glad I kept aware of my surroundings and found some creativity to unlock that door.

My second example comes from the first round of the NCAA basketball tournament. Liberty, not known as a basketball powerhouse, was about one minute away from getting beat by Oregon. Their season was coming to an end, but ending it in the Big Dance was a huge accomplishment.

With less than a minute remaining, as Liberty was dribbling the ball into the frontcourt, the ref blew the play dead after noticing water spilled on the court. Except there wasn't water spilled on the court. Just a few feet from him was a Liberty bench player at the scorer's table, waiting to check into the game for the first time. The ref, recognizing how important this moment could be for this player, used creativity to blow his whistle and allow this player to enter the game. He grabs the player's hand to help him up, and the player gets his moment. The ref had a unique role, and with a little creativity, unlocked a door for an act of generosity. Beautiful!

Ref made it seem like he was cleaning a wet spot so this Liberty player could play in the tourney

Massive Wpic.twitter.com/3k9zrUJbo1

— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) March 22, 2025

I hope you find ways to use your creativity in whatever roles you're blessed with today.

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One Sec, Gotta Make My Monthly Burrito Payment

A few days ago, it was announced that Klarna will soon be partnering with DoorDash, offering DoorDash customers the option to spread the expense of their food order over four monthly payments. Yes, you heard that correctly. You'll soon be able to use debt to buy your delivered Chipotle burrito. Don't feel like forking over $20 to fill your belly from the comfort of your own home? That's okay! You can still get your tasty treats for just four easy payments of $4.99.

Seems absurd, doesn't it? Well, that's one way to look at it. The reality, though, is that people have been using debt to pay for their burritos for years. Considering the average household in America carries a $9,000+ credit card balance, we effectively are using debt to fund our cravings. After all, most people are using credit cards for most purchases, and every dollar spent on a tasty treat is one less dollar paid off. It's a continuous cycle, but we mask it by churning charges and payments each month, a never-ending cycle.

While DoorDash offering monthly payments for food purchases seems insane, it's a natural next step for the collective journey we've been on. Debt is not only culturally accepted, but encouraged. From a young age, we're told that using debt is not just okay, but inevitable. It puts a magic wand in the hands of a group of people obsessed with instant gratification.

Want a new car? Wave the wand and sign the papers.

Want a trip to Disney? Wave the wand and swipe the card.

Want a new wardrobe? Wave the wand and sign up for that store card.

And now, want an Arby's roast beef sandwich and curly fries (IYKYK)? Wave the wand and choose payments.

It's that easy! But it shouldn't be. I yearn for a world where we have to think about our decisions, plan for our decisions, and sacrifice for our decisions. A world in which we don't systematically sabotage our own futures at the hands of our impatience and temptations. A world where people will live with margin, freedom, and options. A world where proactivity trumps reactivity.

Will you help me create that world? I don't have the power to bend the culture by myself, but together, collectively, we do!

In the meantime, I'm gonna go get me a Taco Bell Luxe Cravings Box.....and actually pay for it out of my bank account.

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Better Than You Found It

I got rocked by a single moment yesterday. #12 McNeese had just taken down #5 Clemson in the first round of the NCAA basketball tournament. McNeese was up by a mile, only for Clemson to claw itself back into the game, but McNeese ultimately held on for the victory (its first NCAA tourney win in school history!). It gave me chills!

For weeks, it's been speculated that NcNeese head coach Will Wade had already accepted the head coaching position at NC State, essentially making him a lame-duck coach for the most important games of the year. If this news is true, Coach Wade will soon pack his bags, say his goodbyes, and start afresh at a new school with new players.

This added an interesting dynamic as I watched the post-game celebration. Coach Wade respectfully shook hands with the opposing coaches and players, and as soon as that was finished, he frantically darted into the stands where he wildly hugged countless people. He was beaming. It was nothing other than pure unadulterated joy. After a few minutes, he worked his way back to the court, where the TV broadcast correspondent interviewed him.

"We're advancing, baby! We'll take it!"

He was asked about his emotions in this moment: "We've made school history, man! We've never won a game [in the NCAA tourney]. We didn't have much history when we got there. We've broken almost every record. I'm so proud for our guys, for our university, our president, our athletic director. It's incredible! This changes our university. This changes our university."

All this from a man who may be a former employee in a matter of days. He cared; he cared deeply. This moment sat with me. I recorded it on my phone and watched it over and over. I kept repeating the same phrase in my mind: Leave it better than you found it.

There's a reality in life we must all face. Everything we do will end soon. You WILL leave your job. You WILL have a final conversation with people in your life. You WILL stop engaging with xyz organization. You WILL stop running your business. You WILL have a final engagement with your client. You WILL stop attending your church. You WILL die. There WILL be an end, and it's sooner than we'd like to believe.

If that's true, we should each live life with a focused mission: Leave it better than we found it. Our workplace, the people in our lives, the organizations we engage with, the businesses we own/run, the clients we serve, the churches we attend, and the non-profits we support. We're here but for a moment, then gone.

It reminds me of something a wise friend once told me. Every gravestone includes three things: A birth date, a death date, and a dash between. What we do with the dash is what matters most. None of us know how long our dash will be, but we each have an opportunity to add value to the world while we're living the dash.

Whatever you do today, leave it better than you found it. Time is short. Embrace the dash. Oh yeah, one last thing: Go McNeese!

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Your Permission Slip

If you ever want to get a zoomed-in look at our modern-day societal depravity, pull up a Dave Ramsey clip on social media and read the comments. Now, I'm no fan of Dave Ramsey, and I'm often critical of pieces of his advice, but the level of vitriol and anger toward his social posts are hard to watch.

Example. I recently stumbled upon a clip where a woman was talking to Dave about getting out of debt. Dave's very clear advice was that this woman and her husband desperately needed to sell their expensive vehicles (paired with expensive payments), buy a few $10,000 cars with cash, and use their newfound monthly margin to aggressively pay off the remaining debt. As someone who does this for a living, I affirm this advice based on the information given by this woman. In all reality, the only rational path out of this debt mess is to humbly sell the fancy vehicles, even more humbly purchase inferior vehicles, and use this significant reset moment as an opportunity to get right with their money.

The commenters disagreed, and right on cue, they offered the angriest of angry responses. In short, most of the feedback revolved around the idea that you can't even find junkers for $10,000. $10,000 will buy a piece of trash car that will leave you stranded in the middle of nowhere any and every day. Translation: a $10,000 vehicle is an absolute pile of crap.

Confession: My family owns three cars, each valued at less than $10,000. They are quality vehicles. They run well. They are reliable. They get the job done. They take us from point A to point B.

No, they aren't fancy. No, they don't have the latest technology. No, they aren't under warranty. No, they won't be issue-free. No, they won't be the coolest car in any parking lot. No, they aren't sexy (well, the 350Z is 19-years-old sports car sexy!).

More importantly, they fit within our budget, provide financial margin, and allow us to spend our money on things that add far more value to our lives. We haven't had a car payment in 16 years, and will never again. We'd rather walk 15 miles, uphill both ways, in a torrential storm, than ever have a car payment again. Thus, we won't.

At the same time, our culture is pushing people into toxic vehicle purchase decisions that are deeply crippling their lives. Parents are doing it to their kids. Neighbors are doing it to their neighbors. Co-workers are doing it to their co-workers. Social media is doing it to all of us. It's everywhere.

Therefore, today, I'm giving you a permission slip. I'm not sure you need it, but today I am giving you permission to drive a vehicle you can afford. Yes, you can live a happy, meaningful, and fulfilling life while driving an affordable vehicle. You don't need to sabotage everything you hold dear in exchange for driving an expensive vehicle. It's not worth it. Please believe that. It's not worth it.

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Only You Can Define Success

"Are you thinking about ending your podcast?"

Interesting question, I thought, after a friend dropped this suspicious little gem on me. "Why would we end it?" I was so curious about what would happen next.

"Because you haven't figured out how to make money on it."

"What makes you think that was our goal?"

"Well, why else would you do it?"

The world does a great job of telling us what success looks like, and typically, it involves a $ symbol. Sure, I suppose money can (and should) be one definition of success, but it's a gravely materialistic perspective to define everything through the lens of dollars and cents.

We're more than 400 episodes into our podcast, and I can count the money we've made from it on zero fingers. In fact, that's never really been a discussion. Cole and I each support our families from our respective businesses, and we view the podcast simply as a way to serve people. Through it, we've helped thousands of people from all over the world. We've hit the top business podcast charts in Ukraine, Belize, and Italy. We've connected with countless people who cited our podcast as a turning point in their financial journey.

Our definition of success is to help a lot of people and perhaps start to bend the culture around the way that we humans view and handle money and work. And for that, it's been a massive success.

Northern Vessel is another example of this. I get asked at least 2 times per week when we'll open a second location. The answer is always the same: Never. Our definition of success isn't to create a multi-location empire or maximize economics. Rather, it's to redefine what hospitality can (and should) be in the coffee world, and strive to be the single best coffee shop in America. That's it. No amount of money or number of locations will define success for us. We control the definition.

Whatever you do, don't let others define success for you. YOU define what success looks like. When you let others decide what it means to be successful, you might give up or punt on an otherwise successful endeavor. However, when you control the definition of success, you're in the driver's seat. It gets to be whatever you want it to be, avoiding the cultural narrative around you. That's when you make meaning your true north, ignoring all the noise that would otherwise prevent you from reaching it. Never lose sight of that. Go be successful; your version of successful.

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Legacy: Digital Footprint Edition

I received an unexpected message from Meaning Over Money co-founder Cole Netten. I was expecting another one of his ridiculous voice memo rants about a particular topic that may or may not make good content (but will most certainly be entertaining!), but it was something much different. He asked if we could record more episodes with him in them. Considering he's very much a behind-the-camera sort of cat, his request surprised me. I'm always down to record content with him, but I was curious about this sudden shift.

He referenced a conversation he and I recently had about my constant and intentional endeavor to create a digital legacy for my children. Someday, I'll be dead. Hopefully, not for a long time, but it's coming soon. When that happens, my kids will be left in this world without me. When I think about my life and my own journey, I don't have a lot of memories or touch points to the past. I've seen a few grainy home videos, giving a small glimpse of what life looked like before I could remember, but there's not much. In some ways, multiple generations are just gone.....poof. That's the circle of life and the limitations of technology, and I get it, but what if there was something we could do about it?

Due to the amazing advances in technology, both physically and in the cloud, we live in a new information world order with unlimited possibilities. We often warn kids: Everything you do will be out there forever! Also, the good news: Everything you do will be out there forever! That's the golden opportunity we all possess. Every single time I create something, whether it be an article, podcast, YouTube video, or book, I think about those who will be left after I'm dead and buried.

If I died today, my kids would be left with 111 hours of podcast content and a half-million words of blog content.....and that's just my own content. It doesn't include YouTube, podcast appearances, guest articles, and the books I've helped write. That content is forever, for better or worse....hopefully better!

With this idea in mind, Cole is going to be joining me on the show more often. We'll get a bit more personal in some of our episodes, pulling back the curtain society tries to make us live behind. I hope it helps people, gives them a different perspective, and provides much-desired encouragement, but I also hope it's a window for my children to understand who their dad was and how he saw the world.

I have a difficult challenge for you today. Consider how you can best leave a digital footprint for those who come after you. Maybe it's starting a YouTube channel, podcast, or a blog. Perhaps it's writing a book, publishing music, or creating art. Or maybe it's something I've never even thought of. Only you know you, but you definitely know you. I challenge you to create something that matters. When you're dead and buried beside me, make sure to leave a beautiful gift for those you love.

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The Big 3

My head is spinning. Too many ideas. Too many projects. Too many tasks. Too many next-steps. Too many follow-ups. Too many everythings. It feels like too much. Can you relate? I feel like this often, but this particular idea was hitting especially hard for me last night. I hope someday, someone will teach me the secret to all of this. Until then, I will do what I always try to do: The Big 3.

The Big 3 is a simple idea I heard several years ago. No matter how many things are on the to-do list today, designate the three most important things. The three things that, if accomplished, it doesn't matter what else I got done. The three things that, no matter what else happens today, the day is still considered a win. The three things that, despite the noise and chaos, WILL get accomplished.

I feel like a failure often.....daily. However, the Big 3 help me find the right wins to celebrate and the grace to forgive myself once again. In this very moment, I'm trying to figure out what mine are for today. The bad news is I'm definitely going to fail today. The good news is I absolutely 100% will achieve my big 3. I hope you do, too!

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Seeking Quick Hitters

Whenever the idea of vacations comes up, people tend to think about it through the lens of these week-long, break-the-bank, profound experience vacations. Sure, those are awesome! There's nothing quite like a plane ride to a foreign place, eating interesting foods, experiencing new cultures, and seeing fascinating sights. But these types of trips require a hugecommitment in the form of time away, energy planning, and/or money spent. Therefore, if we can't afford one of these commitments, we often concede defeat and make peace with the reality we aren't going on vacation.

I'm a huge fan of quick hitters. These are smaller trips that may not be as sexy as a stereotypical vacation, but can offer many of the same benefits for a fraction of the cost. My family is doing a quick hitter as we speak! With zero planning and very little notice, we decided to take a 24-hour mini-trip to Omaha to celebrate the beginning of spring break. Here's a fun little breakdown of the trip:

• 2-hour drive each way: $30 in gas

• 1 night in a downtown hotel: $140

• Hotel parking: $15

• 3 hours of hotel swimming: Free

• Window shopping at a vintage toy store: Free (and priceless!)

• Dinner at an Italian restaurant: $60

• Ice cream at an iconic little shop: $15

• Shopping at one of the coolest candy stores on the planet: $20

• Hotel breakfast: Free

• A few more hours of hotel swimming: Still free

• Walking around a historic downtown book store: Free

• Stop by the children's museum: Free (with reciprocity from our city's science center pass)

• Pastries at a famous little bake shop on the way out of town: $20

$300. That's a lot of memories packed into 24 hours and $300. We don't have to break the bank to create memories and share experiences with those we love. Would I rather be exploring Asia or the Middle East? Absolutely! But that's not in the time or financial budget right now. Therefore, we're going to enjoy the heck out of these little quick hitters when we get them.

I hope you have some epic trips in your future, but don't overlook the quick hitters. They can really move the needle, create tremendous memories, and help get a much-needed reset. Have a great day!

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The Superpower of Humility

We're living in a paradoxical reality. On the one hand, it's becoming increasingly difficult to survive financially. Between stagnant income growth, rampant inflation, record-low housing affordability, spiraling car prices, and several other factors, people are hurting. Not everyone, and certainly not to the same degree, but the cracks are starting to show. There's not enough income to keep the train on track, never mind paying off debt, investing for retirement, or saving for future needs.

On the other hand, there's never been a society in the history of humankind where it's been easier to make money. The internet, social media, and the proliferation of a convenience-based lifestyle have opened up more doors than ever before. Heck, we're a few keystrokes away from contacting nearly any person in the world. If you wanted to, you could send a message to Taylor Swift in the next 45 seconds, and if she wanted to, she could read it two seconds later. That's crazy to think about. With our society wired this way, there are unlimited ways to create an income.

The paradox of this situation is that both realities simultaneously exist. Unlimited income is a few clicks away, but at the same time, so many people are struggling with a problem that is only solvable by making more income. I'm not trying to be insensitive with how I framed this, as I have so much empathy for those who are struggling. Rather, I'm trying to shine a light on a big issue; an elephant-in-the-room issue.

Let's use one of my clients/friends as an example. He's a young guy. He's been married to his wife for just a few years. He's absolutely brilliant and has a pretty good job in a specialized field. His future is bright. However, he has a problem. His family's current income isn't enough. Well, it's technically enough, but it's tight. They have a bunch of debt they want gone, they're having their first child soon (!!!), and they need to financially cover their maternity leave season.

Several months ago, I noticed $2,000 extra in their budget. "What's this?" "Oh, I decided to deliver packages for Amazon. I just downloaded an app, and opt-in to make a delivery run whenever I want." Those might not have been his actual words, but that's what it sounds like in my head. With a full-time career, when does he have time for this?!?! 2:45AM-6:45AM, before his day job begins, three to four times per week.

See what I mean? With our modern technology, he simply downloaded an app, clicks on the deliveries he wants to make, and gets in his car to make some money. So simple!

Oh yeah, there's one more thing: humility. None of this happens without humility. He could have easily played victim, called foul, or treated this type of work as if it were beneath him. But instead, he chose humility. He chose the path less traveled. And that is exactly why he (and they) will win.

Sometimes, we just need to do what we need to do, even if only for a season. It's not always sexy. It doesn't bolster status in social circles. It's certainly not easy. But it's the gateway to the reality we are trying to create.

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To Kill or Not to Kill….Their Dreams

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" It's one of my favorite questions to ask young people. It's an open-ended, sky's-the-limit type of question. During my ten years as a youth group leader, I asked this question to hundreds of kids (6th through 12th grade). I noticed an interesting trend. The younger kids would give me one solid answer, but the older kids (typically 11th or 12th grade) would give me two answers.

For the younger kids, it's simple and confident: "I want to be an astronaut." "I want to be a vet." "I want to be a chef."

For the upperclassmen, it gets muddy. It morphs into something more like this. "I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I want to _______." "I used to want to be a chef, but now I want to ________." If they want to be the second thing they mentioned, why state the first one? Curious, I always ask them this question.

"The first answer is my real answer, but the second is my practical answer." Ah, now we're getting somewhere. Somewhere along the journey, someone killed their dreams. Someone decided this kid needed to think more practical, safer, and more achievable. Maybe it was their parents, or teachers, or friends, or coaches.....but it was probably the parents. Why? Because a child's foundational confidence comes from his/her parents. If the parents believe in the kid, it's unlikely that external forces will knock them down.

Here's the problem. In our effort to protect our kids from failure, struggle, and disappointment, we methodically kill their dreams as they grow up. After all, we want our kids to succeed. And falling flat on their face over and over and over doesn't feel like winning. Therefore, we steer our kids into safe, practical, and reliable career paths. We want our kids to make enough money to live, ideally more than enough. We want them to have security.

I might take some heat for saying this, but I don't care about any of that. I would rather my kids fail miserably in the pursuit of their dreams and callings and struggle to make enough income along the way than sell their dreams for safety, practicality, and security. If living a meaningful life requires them to face risk, adversity, and pain, I'll cheer all day for that.

I have zero aspirations for my kids to be wealthy or attain status. I aspire for my kids to live the most meaningful life possible.....period. I don't know what that means (yet) for them, but I will never kill their dreams. If one wants to be an astronaut, then I need to figure out how best to support that dream and encourage that journey. If the other wants to be a rocker, then I'll figure out how best to support that as well.

In a world where 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs, I'll be so proud if my kids end up in the 30% camp....whatever that looks like. Rich or poor, status or none, always living for meaning.

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Crazy Friend Update

A few years ago, I wrote an article about my crazy friend. He's a mess with money. Longtime readers might remember this friend, but if not, I'll summarize their financial situation. The family's annual household income was about $270,000. That's a great income, except their annual household expenses were around $360,000. That means, each year, they spent $90,000 MORE than they made. How did they pull off this feat? Well, debt, of course! At that time, they had accumulated $3.2M of debt....with no signs of slowing down.

This family had a lot of options on the table to right the ship (i.e. close the income gap and hopefully start paying off their debt):

• Increase their annual income.

• Trim expenses to prioritize the items that add the most value to their lives.

• Actually stick to their budget.

• Make sacrifices.

• Live with more humility.

Today, I bring you an update. A lot has changed for this family, financially and otherwise. Curious if they were able to right the ship? Well, here goes! Their annual income increased from $270,000 to $490,000.....huge win! Unfortunately, they somehow managed to increase their annual household expenses from $360,000 to $670,000.....yikes! The net impact of these decisions is a negative $180,000 per year.....oh boy! As you can probably guess, this has led to a disastrous situation on the debt front. If $3.2M of debt wasn't bad enough before, it's now more than $3.6M.

What do you think? Is there any way out of this mess? What would it take for this family to get their crap together and finally face the consequences of their continued indiscretions? Do they need a proverbial slap in the face?

I typically don't name names, but today I will. Want to know who this family is? It's the U.S. government. It's the country we call home. I took the actual numbers and adjusted them to contextually make sense through the lens of a normal family. The ratios are the same. Their $490,000 household income is $4.9 trillion. The $670,000 of household expenses is $6.7 trillion. This results in an annual shortfall of $180,000, or $1.8 trillion. Lastly, the $3.6M of debt is $36 trillion!

It's so easy to gloss over these massive numbers. It's hard to wrap our heads around them. We can't even make contextual sense of a billion, never mind a trillion. But through this lens of a family making nearly a half million dollars per year, failing to meet its monthly needs, and racking up more than $3M of debt along the way......it sounds insane!

Financial irresponsibility is all around us. Nobody is telling us to do it right and get it right. We have wholesale cultural permission to act impulsively, get what we want now, and kick the can of consequences down the road for another day. I think you deserve better than that. That's no way to live. Fortunately, you don't have to. A better reality exists, but it's on the other side of a lot of intentionality, humility, and discipline.

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