Pondering Things About Things

I have a Notes file on my phone called "Blog." Its purpose is simple. As I go about my day, anything and everything that inspires or triggers me gets jotted into this file. There are hundreds of ideas, just waiting to be turned into a blog or a podcast. While browsing my random notes this morning, one line stood out. It's a quote that reads, "The more things we have, the more time we spend on things." To be perfectly honest, I have zero recall about where I heard this or who said it. But it smacks!

When I reflect on my life and the decisions I've made, I can't help but think how true this quote is. I'm not going to share any of my specific examples, as I want you to use your imagination and consider your own past decisions. Let me set the table. You just purchased a nice thing. You traded your hard-earned money for this thing. It has value, and you want to protect this value. Therefore, you're going to spend time and attention ensuring this thing remains safe and well taken care of. 

Also, if it's a cool or fun thing, it's going to perpetually occupy space in your mind. Depending on what type of thing it is, you may also carve time out of your days to use and/or enjoy said thing. 

You'll maybe need to invest more time and money to maintain and care for it. You also need space to store it. Whether big or small, things take up some volume of space. Big things obviously take up more space, but never underestimate the compounding space needs of many small things. This may cause you to want/need a bigger residence, which creates an entirely new level of time and financial consumption. 

On a related note, your things may also inhibit your ability to travel or live with flexibility. You might get nervous to leave your things, or your things make you too comfortable to want to leave. Therefore, things can act as an invisible anchor, locking us into place. Worse, your desire to keep your things (and accumulate more of them) may require you to remain in a job that we tolerate at best, and despise at worst. The item may be the gateway drug to the next item, and the process repeats. 

"The more things we have, the more time we spend on things." I don't know if I'm thinking through this correctly, but this is how I'm processing it today. Things can have a scary pull on our lives, and our souls. I've fallen into that trap more times than I'd like to admit. I can be better. I want to be better. I need to be better. Though I can't prove it, I believe, to my core, that relinquishing our emotional ties to things (and the power they have over us) is one of the paths to a meaningful life. Or, in the simpler and wiser words of my friend Gary Hoag, just "Invest in mission and memories."

This Story Will Be Told

Yesterday, I had the privilege of hosting my dear friends John and Jamy Cochran at our church. After enjoying service, we took them to lunch at our favorite pizza spot. Everything was going swimmingly.....until the food arrived (or part of the food, I should say). The waitress told us our other pizza was accidentally dropped on the floor. Oops!

According to the Danny Meyer Principle (I just coined that phrase!), at that moment, a story was going to be told. The restaurant made a mistake and immediately approached a fork in the road. They've lost control of whether a story will be told; it's too late. However, the restaurant gets to be the author of WHAT story will be told. 

Back to the situation. The waitress communicated the bad news, apologized, said they were remaking it as quickly as possible, AND comping us that pizza. Whoa! They hit a fork in the road, then decided to author a positive story. Their actions were swift and sincere.

Fast forward some time, and the new pizza still hadn’t been delivered to our table. We were somewhat tight on time, but we're doing ok. Shorly after the pizza finally arrived, we asked the waitress for the check, as I had to get the boys to a friend’s birthday party. She obliged, but came back empty-handed just a few minutes later. She communicated that they were going to comp our entire meal. Wow! That was a bold and generous move!

Despite a few mistakes tainting this particular experience, I have nothing but positive things to say about them. Thus, I'm telling you the story they authored. My experience wasn't ideal, but it affirms my decision to eat there often—and I'll probably double down on that sentiment. They could have lost (or damaged) a customer. However, their actions just compounded my loyalty. Props to them for that, and I'm grateful they care enough to author this better story. 

Businesses, take note of this story. You WILL screw up....and when you do, a story will be told. Author a beautiful story. You are in control, so act with swiftness, hospitality, and generosity. 

Consumers, businesses will screw up on you. It's inevitable. They are humans. They aren't perfect. When they do, watch to see what story they author. It will tell you everything you need to know. And once that story is written, act accordingly. 

I know the question is coming, and the restaurant deserves some love. Despite having readers all over the world, if you're ever in Central Iowa (or happen to live nearby), the restaurant is called Leaning Tower of Pizza. Go check them out! And when you do, tell them it's not just because their pizza is amazing (though it is!), but because they chose to author a beautiful story for someone else. Reward excellence. Always reward excellence. 

I Met a Weird Guy

I met a guy last week. I had a blast spending time with him. He shared about his journey, his expertise, his passions, and his business. He is a sincere, thoughtful, and generous person. He's also really weird. Yeah, you heard that right. He's a really weird guy. 

Now, before you get upset with me publicly insulting a grown man in front of thousands of people, some context is in order. He's in his early 50s, a seasoned veteran in his field. His most recent position was CEO for a reputable firm. According to conventional wisdom and our prevailing culture, he could do some consulting work for a few years as he coasts toward an early retirement. The table is set for a comfortable and short end to his accomplished career. He could ride off into the sunset and enjoy a life of leisure that everyone probably tells him he deserves. 

Instead, however, he's starting over. He's entering into arguably the most challenging season of his career. He's creating something new from scratch. It's a secular company, but tied closely to his faith. There's a powerful mission tied to it, and if it goes even marginally well, many lives will be impacted. He's uncomfortable, nervous, uncertain, and totally out of his element.....and he's loving every second of it. When he talks about it, his eyes light up, and he has the energy of a 28-year-old.

The world says to race to the finish line, and he's over here starting a new race. 

The world says to stay comfortable, and he just threw that word out the window. 

The world says to coast, and he's pushing his foot on the accelerator. 

The world says he should "actually enjoy his life," and he's doing just that—except enjoying life doesn't mean living a life of leisure. Instead, it means waking up each morning with meaning and purpose. From what he told me, I suspect he's enjoying life more now than ever—not because his life is fun, but because it matters (a ton!). 

The world says to be normal, and he's out there being a complete weirdo. So yeah, I met a weird guy last week. He's the kind of guy who reminds me why I do what I do. He's living a life that reminds me there's an army of people taking the road less traveled. Pursuing work that matters. Throwing comfort out the window. Following a greater calling. Meaning over money. I love my new weird friend!

Dodging Tornados

Last night was a rough one in the Shelton household. Sarah is on a girl's trip out of town, so it's just me and the boys. As we were preparing for bed, the tornado sirens started blaring. We grabbed our stuff and set up shop in the basement, watching the local news coverage on TV. At one point, five tornado systems were in our area, with one heading directly toward our city. Luckily, it shifted directions just enough to barely miss us. Other towns weren't as lucky, unfortunately (check out this wild video captured from the same broad tornado system a few hours before it struck our area). The boys were scared, and there was a lot of anxiety in our house until the wee hours of the morning. 

We have blog readers from all over the world, so perhaps some context is in order. While every part of the world has its own array of natural disaster risks, tornados are ours. Unlike earthquakes, hurricanes, or wildfires, tornados are binary. Either they hit you, or they don't. Their paths are narrow, but their impact is significant. If they hit, the destruction can be unprecedented. They are shockingly common here in the midwestern United States. They are far too common, as well. It's typical to have 5-10 warnings each year between the spring and summer months. Needless to say, I'm grateful we dodged another one. 

As I'm sandwiched in the downstairs bed with two exhausted and wimpering boys, I can't help but think about how tornados are a great metaphor for life. Many of our decisions carry risk, but not all risks are created equal. Some risks are more likely to materialize, but with a lower downside. Others (let's call them tornados) have a lower likelihood of materializing, but the downside can be devastating. Here are some examples of the two types of downside scenarios:

Decisions With Minimal Downside

• Running a red light with an officer nearby

• Eating from a questionable street vendor (IYKYK)

• Forgetting your spouse's birthday

• Making an impulsive financial purchase

Decisions With Devastating Downside

• Getting sick or injured without health insurance

• Not carrying an emergency fund

• Failing to have wills or life insurance

• Throwing your retirement assets in single stocks or trendy investment classes

One of my general philosophies of life is to dodge the proverbial tornados. I know I'm going to screw up, and I know I'll get unlucky at times. However, if I can just avoid the tornados, I'll live to fight another day. I'll gladly take two steps forward and one step back, but I can't afford a blistering 25 steps back. 

As you read this, reflect on your life and see if you can spot the lingering tornados. What are the decisions that, while lower in risk, have the potential to devastate your life if it goes the wrong way? Once you identify them, I encourage you to take the appropriate steps to mitigate them. Dodge those tornados! 

Finny’s Accidental Seed

After school yesterday, the boys and I decided to play basketball at a nearby park. As we stepped outside, a young man (maybe 12 or 13 years old) walked past our house. He was pushing a lawnmower with a weedeater perched atop. I greeted him and asked what he was up to. He pointed to my neighbor's house and said he was about to finish mowing it. This sparked me to ask a handful of questions about his little business. I loved his heart and desire to create a business. 

The conversation concluded with me asking if he wanted to mow my yard. He shared his pricing and told me he could mow it immediately if I wanted. I pulled out some cash, handed it to him, and he immediately got to work. At that moment, I turned my attention back to the kids, and we resumed our walk to the park. That's when an unexpected conversation occurred:

Finn: "Did you just pay that kid money to mow our yard?"

Me: "Yeah, man! I was going to mow it this weekend, but now I can spend more time with you guys, instead." 

Finn: "You mean he gets to play with a mower AND get paid money?"

Me: "Yeah! He's helping us, so he gets to earn money for doing it." 

Finn: "Dad, can I mow people's yards and get paid money when I'm his age?"

Me: "Yeah, bud! That sounds awesome. There are a lot of ways we can help people, and mowing is one of them. I'd love to help you get started if that's what you want to do."

Finn: "Can we buy me my own mower this weekend so I can start practicing?"

Me: "......."

I could see Finn's wheels turning. He was inspired, encouraged, and extremely excited. A whole new world of possibilities opened up in that moment. Truth is, I wasn't intending for my interaction with the young "mowin' man" to be a seed-planting endeavor. And I know the young mower didn't, either. Despite that, an accidental seed was planted with little Finny. Perhaps that seed will die......or maybe it will grow into something beautiful. I don't know which way it will go, but I'm excited to find out in due time. 

To be honest, I don't even know what the takeaway should be for today's post. I just found the story surprising and uplifting, and thought maybe there's a nugget in there that can add value to your day. I love that young mower's heart and work ethic. I love Finn's curiosity and internalization of ideas. I love the fact I can spend a few bucks to free up more time with my boys this weekend. I love all of it. 

I hope you have a wonderful day. Keep planting those seeds.....the intentional ones, and the accidental ones. 

How Many Apples Are In a Seed?

Check out this awesome clip!

@uconnwbb these two 🥹 #uconnwomensbasketball #bleedblue ♬ original sound - UConn Women’s Basketball

This touching moment involves UCONN's Coach Geno Auriemma and Nika Muhl. Nika just wrapped up her UCONN basketball career and was drafted into the WNBA just a few weeks ago. This is easily the best thing I've seen all day!

I often refer to the idea of planting seeds. A quick word search of my blog archives reveals that I've discussed this concept in 14 prior posts. When I see a video clip like this and can feel the relationship this player and coach share, it strikes me as a quintessential example of planting seeds. 

Coach Geno is 70 years old, and for the last 40 of them, he has been at the helm of UCONN's women's basketball team. When I see the bond he shares with Nika and the impact he's clearly had on her life, I can't help but wonder how many seeds he's planted over the years. 

This past weekend, while at a generosity conference, a speaker began talking about planting seeds. Oh, you know I was leaning forward for this one! She cut into an apple and started picking out seeds. "You can count how many seeds are in an apple, but you can't count how many apples are in a seed." 

That's one of the most powerful ideas I've ever heard. Planting a seed is one thing, but the ripple effects are another. Let's say we plant ten seeds, and only one takes hold and grows (into an apple tree, of course). That tree will produce hundreds or thousands of apples, each filled with numerous seeds. Eventually, some of those new seeds will take hold and grow trees as well......and the cycle continues. From a single seed comes an immeasurable number of apples. A single act of planting a seed could result in multiple generations of impact. Beautiful!

Back to Coach Geno and Nika. He planted seeds, and some (or tons) prospered.....including Nika. Now, she will spend the next 60+ years planting her own seeds, and some of them will prosper as well. Call me sentimental, but this is a profoundly moving illustration of living a life of service to others. 

Our call to action is simple: plant seeds. What happens after we plant is largely out of our control. However, know that good WILL come from your generosity. And when it does, the impact may span much wider and deeper than you'll ever know. 

First, Stop Tumbling

I'm feeling a lot of burden these days. So many people in my life are hurting. Lost jobs, tons of debt, broken marriages, sickness, failed companies, loss of family members.....too many things to count. I generally do a pretty good job of not carrying the pain of others, but man, it's getting hard. 

As I spent time with a friend who is in the process of losing his long-time business, I searched my brain, then my heart, trying to find the best advice to offer him. Here's what I came up with: "First, stop tumbling." 

As I think back to some the profoundly painful seasons in my life, it always felt like I was spiraling. Things were bad, got worse, then oddly even more terrible, until I splatted on some proverbial floor. However, at some point along my meandering journey, I realized that I don't have to spiral all the way down to the splat. Instead, I had the ability to grab hold of something and stop tumbling. 

Here's my amateur, non-expert guide to stop the tumbling:

1. Look in the mirror and be honest with yourself. Truly understand the situation, regardless of how difficult it is to swallow. Dr. Drew Pinsky would refer to this as "reality on reality's terms." 

2. Bring others alongside you. You can't do it alone, and luckily you don't have to. Find people who will support you, help you, encourage you, be honest with you, and hold you accountable. People that will hold you up when you can't even hold yourself up.

3. Get intentional. The only way to stop the bleeding (and reverse momentum) is to know exactly what you're doing. In the financial world, this is a budget. Get specific, account for all available resources/options, and execute. 

4. Get small wins. When we're spiraling, it's not likely that we can stop the tumbling and completely reverse course in the short-run. Instead, we need to find small wins. A giant win is actually thousands of smaller wins stacked on top of each other. Start small, celebrate, repeat. 

5. Don't anchor yourself. It's easy for us to lock on to our peak position in life and expect that to be the expectation of "normal." I see this with business owners who once had a season where they made a ton of money. It was great to have that win, but that doesn't have to be the new measuring stick of success. If we anchor ourselves to our very best moment, we may unfulfillingly spend the rest of our lives chasing.

6. Remember that a brighter season is coming. Even the worst of storms eventually clear to reveal sunshine and bright skies.....and maybe a beautiful rainbow to boot.  

If this post speaks to you, I'm sorry for what you're going through. It won't be easy, and it may take a while, but you got this!

The Status of Status

Whether we realize it or not, much of life is the pursuit of status. Status is at play in nearly everything we do, the decisions we make, and how we spend our money.

First, what is status? One definition is "the relative social, professional, or other standing of someone or something." Here's another: "position or rank in relation to others."

We humans are obsessed with status. We fixate on being ranked higher "in relation to others." We do this in small ways and in significant ways:

• Which logo appears on our clothes and shoes.

• The emblem on our vehicle. 

• The zip code or school district in which we live. 

• The university we attend.

• Our job title.

• The alphabet soup of credentials that follow our name. 

• Where we vacation.

• Who we associate with.

• How much is in our bank account.

• What phone we use.

• The career field we enter.

• The size of our house.

Each of these decisions, whether consciously or subconsciously, involves our pursuit of status (or perceived status). This is at the center of keeping up with the Joneses. Remember, the definition of status isn't about what we have. It's about what we have "in relation to others." Therefore, when we make decisions, a part of us is trying to improve our relative position of status. The chase! This is a dangerous and slippery slope. 

No, buying a car with a certain emblem isn't evil. No, having a new iPhone isn't stupid. No, going to a particular university isn't wrong. No, gaining credentials isn't an act of arrogance. None of these things are inherently evil. However, we must continually look in the mirror and ask ourselves why we're really making xyz decision. 

I'm literally watching many families disintegrate before my eyes. They are losing their freedom, values, and unity. Slowly but surely, their finances are eroding. It's not for lack of income. In fact, this often happens to families on the upper end of the financial spectrum. The pursuit of status is an expensive and soul-sucking endeavor. 

What's the alternative? For me, it's simple but difficult. Instead of focusing on trying to improve our position in relation to others or care about what others think, we simply need to focus on what's most important for our family. Easier said than done, I know. 

It's sometimes hard watching my friends make many multiples of our income when I could flip the switch and join them. It's sometimes hard living in the house and driving the cars we have. It's sometimes hard to know I continually turn my back on a high-status career (with a ridiculous paycheck tied to it).

On the flip side, if we can resist the urge to pursue status, we get to pursue a life that's truly meaningful for us and our families. It's the hardest endeavor, but also a priceless one. 

I won't ever fully eliminate the desire for status, but with enough intentionality, I can hopefully minimize it and remember what’s most important. You can do it, too.

Find a Way to Get Away

We got home last night after a five-day road trip. The boys went on adventures with their cousins while Sarah and I attended a generosity conference. It was the first time Sarah and I had gotten away together since our Thailand/Qatar trip last April. We missed the kids, but we had a wonderful time together!

I always forget how powerful time away can be. It's hard to find the time and navigate the logistics, but when we do, it's so powerful. Our trips are more meaningful when they involve some form of growth or service. This trip was no different. We spent time with inspirational people, listened to impactful speakers, and engaged in powerful discussions. Our time together opened up new dialogue, triggered new ideas, and raised some critically important topics to the surface. All in all, it was a home run. I hope to share some of my biggest conference takeaways in the coming weeks, but wow, so good!

I had a few mirroring conversations last week that got me thinking. I was talking about my upcoming trip with a few friends. I commented that it's wild (and disappointing) that Sarah and I haven't taken time away together in nearly a year. Each of these people had similar responses. "One year? My wife and I haven't gotten away since having kids." Both of these individuals have kids in the 10-13 year-old range. They haven't been away from their kids in more than a decade?!?!

Astounded by this discovery, I started asking people about their "getting away" habits. Much to my surprise, about half the people I surveyed said they "never" go away without their kids. 

If my informal survey is any indication, that means many of you reading this post "never" or "rarely" get away without your kids. Please don't hear me criticizing or judging you. Instead, I want to encourage you. As I mentioned above, it's hard to find the time, logistics, and money to get away. But it's so, so, so worth it. View it as an investment in your marriage. Use it to take a step back from your normal parenting duties, get some rest, build your relationship, create memories, and then re-enter your normal life as a better spouse and better parent. It doesn't have to be a week-long trip abroad. Even a short weekend trip to a nearby town can do the trick. 

Find a way to get away. Invest in your marriage. You won't regret it!

The Curse of More

What if I told you the majority of people in our lives (including you and me) are infected? Worse, it's highly contagious! Even worse yet, they don't even know they have it....it's a silent killer. I call it the curse of more. 

You know, more, as in more stuff, more money, more status, and more security. We're obsessed with more. The newer phone, the fancier car, the bigger house, the more extravagant trip, the bigger bank account. Cool stuff. Fun stuff. Alluring stuff. Powerful stuff.

There's one problem, though. The problem with more is that every time we get more, more is still more. Every time we achieve a goal, a new one replaces it. Every time we buy the newest iPhone, Apple makes a newer one. We move into our "forever" house, then suddenly, the goalpost moves, and we have a new dream house. We dream about having $50,000 in our bank account, but after getting there, $100,000 seems like a nice round number.

The pursuit for more is like running a race on a hamster wheel. The harder we run, the faster the wheel spins. But we're not actually going anywhere. We're standing still while experiencing the allusion of making progress. This is how many of us are living. 

Good news! I have a prescription for the curse of more. Two cures, actually. The first is contentment. "A state of happiness and satisfaction," as defined by Oxford. Being content means being satisfied with what you have. I don't have the newest iPhone. I'm content with the one I have. I don't live in the biggest house. I'm content with the one I live in. I don't drive the fanciest car. I'm content with the one I use. Being grateful for what we DO have is the secret to not dwelling on what we DON'T have. 

The second prescription is generosity. If you're ever feeling the curse of more trying to poison your heart, seek out opportunities to be generous. There's nothing like giving that can reset our perspective. Further, the satisfaction we're seeking in our pursuit of more is actually found on the other side of generosity. It's a taste that satiates. Giving also points back to contentment, as each time we give, we remind ourselves that we have enough already. 

Don't let the curse of more overcome you. It's not a matter of if it will attack, but when. And when it does, contentment and generosity will help you come out the other side. Don't fall for the lies of more. Instead, lean into the truths of contentment and generosity. They will never let you down. 

Dents, Dings, and Impact

I recently had a curious exchange with a friend:

Him: "I got into a fender bender a few days ago."

Me: "Oh man, I'm so sorry."

Him: "No, it's kinda a good thing."

Me: "Uhhhhhh, why's that?"

Him: "I'm going to take a page out of your playbook and use it as an opportunity to do good."

Oh, wow! His comments were a reference to a blog post I wrote a few months ago about a car accident I experienced. Instead of fixing the damage, I elected to use that money to feed children in need. Now, every time I get into my car and see the horrendous-looking dent across the driver's side of my vehicle, it's a reminder of what's most important. 

I received a lot of feedback from that post, ranging from eye-rolling, to warnings that my damaged car is a "bad look" for me, to inspiration. Just in the past week, two separate people have mentioned the idea of doing something similar IF they are ever put in a similar position. 

I didn't know I had this dream, but I have a new dream: driving down the street and seeing a plethora of slightly damaged vehicles that are unrepaired because people chose generosity over image. It's a ridiculous idea with impactful results. 

This, of course, isn't really about damaged cars. Rather, it's about the idea of looking in the mirror and being honest with ourselves. What really is most important? Is it your lifestyle? Your image? Your fun? Your comfort? Or perhaps making a difference? Lifting people up? Blessing others? Creating impact? Be honest with yourself. I hope you choose the latter set of answers (or something that resembles it), but whatever your answer is, I encourage you to align your behavior to it. 

If your mission is for one spouse to stay home, you can't buy a new house and then claim you can't afford to shift one spouse out of the workforce.

If you desire to increase your giving, you can't purchase a new car and then claim you don't have enough margin to make it work. 

If you feel called to start a business, you can't insist on maintaining your current lifestyle while crying foul for being unable to financially navigate the journey.

Whatever your mission is, I hope you endeavor to align your behaviors to it. That's where meaning can be found. It's probably going to be a harder path, but nothing worthwhile comes without toil. In fact, the toil is what makes it all that much sweeter. 

I hope you have a wonderful day.....full of fender benders. Just kidding. Well, maybe just a little scratch. Again, just kidding. Or am I.....?

Zoom Out or Freak Out

Have you heard!?!? Everything is falling apart!!! The stock market is collapsing!!!! It's the end of the world!!!! Right on cue, countless people are gripped with fear over how bad the stock market is doing. Everyone's posting about it on social media, and I've received no less than 15 questions about it just this week.

After all, the stock market is down 4.6% in just the last 20 days. Considering the stock market is supposed to go up 8-10% per year, losing nearly 5% in a three-week stretch feels like the end of the world.

Things are so bad that the market is down to a level not seen since......well, seven weeks ago.....when it hit yet another all-time 153-year high. And after this white-knuckle three-week stretch and watching our investments get beat to smithereens, the stock market is now up only 21% in the last 12 months. Even worse, it's only up 70% over the last five years! Whatever shall we do!?!?

I hope you picked up the sarcasm, as I was laying it down pretty thick. If we don't have a proper context of what's happening, we can really freak ourselves out. Alternatively, we can simply zoom out. When we do, we see a different picture. Like this chart:

This is what the market looks like over the last five years. That little downward blip on the right-hand side of the image is this scary, nasty, terrifying collapse everyone is on pins and needles about. I'll stress the world "blip." Context matters. Context always matters. And, like with most situations, we need to zoom out to gain a proper context.

I won't claim to know what will happen next. The stock market may hit a new all-time high next week, or it could be on the way to experiencing a 50%+ collapse. Either way, I don't much care. Here's what I do care about, though. I care that history tells us, over a long period of time, the market will provide something in the ballpark of 9% per year. I also care that there has never been a 15-year period in history where the market lost money. Lastly, I care that the worst the stock market has done over a 30-year period of time is end up 4.4x higher than it started.

We can zoom out or freak out. I hope you'll join me on the zoom out side of the line. Life is far more peaceful and meaningful when we do.

Creating Begets Creating

One of my clients has a business idea. It's a simple but effective idea. It likely won't make him a massive profit. Heck, it probably won't even provide enough income to live on. For many months now, I've been beating the drum of go, go, go. He NEEDS to put his idea into practice. He NEEDS to move forward....but not for obvious reasons. Here's why: creating begets creating.

Right now, he's stuck with all these ideas in his head. Until it moves from his head to his hands, it will forever remain an idea. Sure, he could collect those ideas and eventually take them to the grave with him. However, I believe he and everyone else deserve to have his vision come to life.

If he ultimately follows through, whether he fails or succeeds, the act of creating will beget more creating. It will set off a chain of events and practices that will ultimately lead to more creating. For that reason, I don't even think it matters how successful this first endeavor is. Instead, it's about the act, the action. I wholeheartedly believe the moment he puts this idea into motion is the moment his life will forever change.

This business plan is an idea, but it's probably not THE idea. THE idea is buried somewhere deep within him, but it can't materialize until he becomes someone who creates. Once that happens, he can unlock everything else beneath the surface.

This concept applies to business ideas, but it also applies to so much else in life. The reason Taylor Swift can write smash album after smash album is because one time, when she was a teenager, she wrote songs. Then wrote songs. Then wrote more songs. Then became one of the most famous musicians on the planet. Creating begets creating.

It's the reason I can record two podcast episodes and write seven blogs every week. In theory, I should have run out of ideas years ago. However, creating begets creating.

It's the reason my guy Cole continues to raise his filmmaking game. Every time he creates something, it spawns an entirely new idea that transcends the last. Fast forward enough reps, and he's creating content that melts my brain. Creating begets creating.

Whatever gift, passion, or idea you have brewing inside you, move it from your head to your hands. Put it into action. Even if it sucks. Even if it fails. Even if it doesn't come out the way you've envisioned it. Just create. Once you do, the real gems living inside you will materialize and eventually bless us all.

The Expensive Bargain

It feels like my laptop is running out of steam. It runs a little slower these days. It feels a bit warmer. The battery drains a little quicker. It's not as smooth as it once was. The once-beautiful exterior casing has its share of scars. I suppose that will happen after six years of use......six years!

It's a MacBook Pro. When I was laptop shopping in 2018, I knew I wanted an Apple, but the price made me want to vomit. It literally cost double what the alternatives would have. It was expensive, but it was a bargain.

I've owned a lot of computers in my life. I can't say they've provided great experiences, and their lives felt far too short. This MacBook, on the other hand, was significantly more expensive, and offered a transformative user experience. It fully integrated my technology, it was intuitive to use, it was smoother than all get-out, and it's lived a long life. Yeah, it was a bargain!!!

Some would call it quality over quantity. Spending more for a product or service, but knowing it will have a longer and/or better life. This idea applies to far more than just computers. Clothes, furniture, jewelry, tools, dining out....the list goes on.

The funny thing about quality over quantity, though, is the fact we sometimes lose our way. Our natural instinct is to focus on a lower price. After all, that feels like a better deal. Clothing is a fantastic example of this. I remember a time when I looked at my closet full of clothes, yet I had nothing decent to wear. It was a perfect example of quantity over quality. I had quantity, but I just wanted to wear a quality item. I whiffed!

Sometimes, we just need to get a reset and snap back into a proper perspective. Sometimes, cheap is expensive, and expensive is cheap. Sometimes, we need to remember it's not just about the price tag.

While I'm not looking forward to spending $2,000+ on a new laptop, what I eventually buy will inevitably feel like a bargain. I’m dreading it, yet looking forward to it at the same time. It also feels good knowing that one will tide me over for the remainder of this decade. Quality over quantity!

What about you? What areas of your life do you intentionally focus on quality over quantity? Conversely, what areas of your life do you need to create a reset to focus more on quality?

The Magic Wand of Change

Many years ago, I painfully reflected on some of my choices. My life felt like a graveyard of mistakes, regrets, and missed opportunities. I suspect people around me generally looked at me as a successful person, but I carried a lot of baggage from the past. Looking at my rearview mirror of brokenness, I tried to imagine how much better off I'd be had I just done things differently.

I remember asking myself, "What would I do if I could wave my magic wand and get a do-over?" I obviously didn't have a Delorian, so going back in time wasn't an option (plus it would have been a bummer to destroy the space-time continum.....Doc Brown warned me of such shenanigans).

Since time travel was off the table, I decided to do the next best thing. I took an inventory of my biggest regrets from the past, assessed what I would have done differently, and decided to just do that now.

I deeply regretted my $236,000 of debt and desperately wished I hadn't done that. So we decided to pay it off. It forever changed our lives.

I deeply regretted buying an expensive car with debt. So we decided we would never again buy a car with debt again. It forever changed our lives.

I always wished I could be a podcaster. So I decided to become a podcaster.

I always wanted to live a life where I would wake up every day excited for what was to come. So I decided to leave my prior career and take a 90% pay cut to start over. That was a hard one.....really hard.

We always wanted to live a more walkable, transient life. So we decided to sell our house, rent a tiny townhome in a walkable part of town, and split our time between Iowa and Asia. This was our biggest magic wand decision, but also the biggest bust. As we were buying plane tickets and making housing arrangements for our first 3-month stint in Asia, COVID hit and ruined everything. Oh well, can't win 'em all.

These magic wands are funny. They don't rewrite history, but they do allow us the opportunity to author a different story for our future. It's not free, and it's not easy, but it is worth it. I wish it were as simple as rubbing the lamp and making a wish, but the truth is it takes a lot of fortitude and commitment to see it through. It's brutal....and beautiful.

My challenge to you today, if you're so inclined to accept it, is to ask yourself one simple question: "What would I do if I could wave my magic wand and get a do-over?" Take stock of your answers. Unfortunately, you can't rewrite the past, but you are the author of a story that has yet to be written. What story will you write? Perhaps a change may be in order. Maybe it's time to wave that wand.

Small, Tiny, Unexpected, Amazing Wins

Parents, do you ever wonder if all your hard work is paying off? Seriously, it usually seems like our words are in one ear, out the other. Are they even listening? Are they even watching? Is it moving the needle? Am I completely screwing them up without even realizing it?

Then, out of the blue, when you need it most, you get the tiniest but most amazing win.

That happened to us yesterday. We were in the middle of a tough stretch. Finn didn't want to get dressed for church, and Pax stormed out of the room after I beat him at checkers. It was a mess. Pax recovered quickly, but Finn was spiraling.

Sensing this situation was heading in a bad direction, Pax took matters into his own hands. He walked into his bedroom, grabbed his wallet, and returned to the living room where Finn was melting down. I didn't know what he was doing, so I just kept my mouth shut and watched as a curious third party.

"Finn, I'll buy you a donut at church today," he said, reaching into his wallet to find a $1 bill. Finn wasn't in an emotional place to receive the gift, but I was so proud of Pax!

Pax is starting to understand the purpose of money. He's figured out that it's best used (and more fun) to make a difference in others. This isn't the first time I've seen this behavior from him, and I hope it won't be the last.

Money isn't easy to come by for a 7-year-old, so it's pretty sweet to see him proactively and excitedly try to use it to bless his twin brother (who was treating him poorly, by the way). I won't say he "gets it," but he's showing signs of starting to get it. As his parent, I'm definitely going to encourage the heck out of him. The seeds have been planted, and now we water.

Parents, keep your eyes open for the small, tiny, unexpected, amazing wins. We need them. Sometimes, that's the one thing that gives us enough energy to keep going. Small wins are still wins, and small wins will eventually turn into big wins. Keep watering!

I Broke My Promise To You

Oh no. I did it again. I promised you I wouldn't, and I promised Sarah I wouldn't. But I did it again.

Yesterday morning, Finn and I went to our nearby meat market to pick out steaks and made homemade butter for the first time. So, for dinner, we had steaks and baked potatoes (topped with Finn's butter)....great stuff! As dinner was coming to a close, that's when it happened.

Me: "Hey guys, I have an idea. How about we jump into the car and go get some ice cream at _____?"

Sarah: "I don't think that's a good idea. Besides, you told me to punch you in the face if you ever suggested this idea again."

Me: "It should be ok"

Then, they all took turns jokingly pretending to punch me in the face.

Shortly after that, I stepped back into my worst nightmare. It took 27 minutes from when we stepped in until we received our ice cream. Lovely. I can't believe I fell for it again....I'm such a fool.

As he chows down his ice cream cone, Finn says, "This ice cream sure is good, but they are really bad at giving you it." Truer words have never been spoken, little Finny man.

Countless other places deserved (and have earned) our business, yet I decided to spend our hard-earned money at a place that doesn't deserve it. How ridiculous and irresponsible of me!

This entire experience, which Sarah will surely remind us is all my fault, made me reflect on all the places we wrongfully choose to spend money—businesses that have lost the right, don't appreciate it, serve us poorly, offer a poor product, or simply don't align with our values. There are a few businesses on my list that need to be unapologetically cut.

The truth is, I mourn the loss of some of these businesses in my life. Businesses that I have fond memories of (before they decided to disrespect their customer base with poor performance). Or businesses that have drawn a line in the sand, value-wise, to the point I can't continue to patronize them.

There's a silver lining to all this. For every dollar we don't spend at these businesses anymore, there's one dollar we get to spend at a business that has earned the right to serve us. Businesses that offer a great product at a reasonable price, practice hospitality, and are grateful for the business.

Find these businesses in your life, then double down. They don't have to be small businesses; they need to be excellent businesses. If they happen to be small and/or local, great! But expect, demand, and reward excellence, period!

Golden Corral Fancy

I returned home last night after a long but productive week in Houston, TX. Since beginning intermittent fasting about a year ago, I’ve come to greatly appreciate (and anticipate) my two meals per day. Further, my love for Taco Bell is unparalleled! For those two reasons, I savored the heck out of a lunch Taco Bell run this week. While sitting there by myself (enjoying a Beefy Burrito smothered in Diablo sauce), I had a few flashbacks.

Growing up in a small town in NW Illinois, we didn’t have much for dining. A few bars, a couple local restaurants, a Casey’s, and eventually a Subway in my teen years. Therefore, going out to eat was a special occasion in my family……which always required a 30-45 minute drive. In the Shelton household, there were three dining levels:

• Casual: Taco Bell (see where I get it from?!?!)

• Upscale: Pizza Hut (I can still taste those Book-It personal pan pizzas and breadsticks!)

• Fancy: Golden Corral (this was the pinnacle of dining experiences)

Now, before you get all judgy with me, let me refresh your memory on just how amazing Golden Corral is:

• All you can eat!

• Cuisines from all over the world, such as Italian (pizza and pasta), Mexican (tacos and nachos), Asian (stir fry), and American (meat, potatoes, and casseroles).

• Don’t even get me started on the dessert bar and self-serve ice cream station!

• Some dude carving hunks of meat and placing them oh so gently on your plate like a food butler.

• You can re-fill your pop as many times as you’d like…..every kid’s dream!

There’s no fancy like Golden Corral fancy! To this day, I smile when I see one. I even took the boys on their first-ever Golden Corral experience last summer.

Yes, there’s more to this post than a trip down memory lane. I’m really grateful for this part of my childhood. I think it’s one of the contributing factors to being grounded in my adulthood. These experiences, which build the foundation of our sense of reality, create a healthy perspective and allow for contentment. I love a fancy steakhouse or Michelin-starred restaurant like the next guy, but I’ll also take Taco Bell or Golden Corral any day of the week (sorry, Pizza Hut, you lost your mojo).

As a parent, I want the same for my kids. It’s my job to help my children build a proper foundation of reality. Sure, we’ll do some special things along the way, but I want them to live with contentment and be grateful for what they have. This will be tremendously important as they grow and begin their own adult lives. I’d even take it a step further and propose it will fundamentally transform their relationship with money, stuff, and lifestyle. They deserve a healthy relationship with the world, and I’m on a mission to help them find it. I hope you take a page from the same playbook with your kids!

The Eyes Never Lie

I have a little life hack for you today. If you ever want to know how someone feels about their work, there are two occasions when you can find out: while they are working, or talking about their work. And here's the trick. Look at their eyes. It's in their eyes. You can see it, almost feel it.

We humans have many ways to cover up what's really happening behind the curtain. We can mask the truth with our words, our voice's tone or pitch, or even our gestures. But the eyes never lie.

In my prior career, I used this trick when meeting clients, colleagues, interviewees, vendors, or prospective clients for the first time. The eyes were a dead giveaway, and based on that read, it would influence how I engage with them. Not in a bad way, per se, but I wanted to meet them where they were at. In my current work, it helps me gauge someone's work/life happiness and satisfaction. If someone is fulfilled and content in their work, it's a much different conversation than if they despise or merely tolerate their job.

This is also a useful tool when meandering about life. Engaging with a restaurant server, talking to your doctor or mechanic, or discussing something with your children's teachers. As specific examples, I recently had drastically opposite experiences in the past week. I distinctly remember meeting a young man. He was working a job that's universally disrespected and looked down upon. It's not the kind of job our parents dream of for us. However, his eyes absolutely lit up. I could tell he was engaged and full of life. It was practically contagious. On the flip side, I spent some time with an uber-successful businessman. He has more wealth and status than most of us will ever entertain. His eyes told a different, sobering story. The moment I asked him about his work, something changed. It was a visceral shift. I could see a deep discontent or uneasiness. The eyes never lie.

Here's my question for you today. What do your eyes say about you? Sure, we can tell people we're "doing great," put a smile on our face, and even raise the pitch of our voice by an octave, but what do your eyes say? Once in a while, I'll look in the mirror and not like what I see. That's the moment I know a change is needed. Maybe some of you are in the same boat. I hope you're brave enough to act on that instinct. It will probably be hard, but it will certainly be worth it.

“You’re Offensive, Travis!”

Some days, when I hit "publish" on a particular topic, I know people will immediately hit "unsubscribe." It used to bother me, but I'm coming to terms with the reality this blog isn't for everyone. And even if it is, it might not be forever. No matter what, I'm grateful for each person who decides to make this part of their day. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

The other day, however, I published an article I was not expecting to be controversial. It was about people who absolutely love their lives, and how they got there. I personally thought the piece was uplifting and encouraging, yet a wave of people unsubscribed. I was confused, and the self-talk started to creep in. Does my writing suck? Am I not funny enough? Or witty enough? Are my ideas not insightful? Are these topics not valuable to people? Are they too long? Too short? 

I had some suspicions about why people might have unsubscribed that day, but with all the self-talk polluting my brain, I decided to seek outside counsel. I contacted a few friends and asked for their perspectives. The first person wrote back with the following sentence:

"That post was offensive!"

Wait, what?!?! He went on to explain that my entire post was about how living one's dream life does exist, and if that's true, it's up to each of us to pursue it—or not. "That's an offensive idea." He pointed out that this idea (and others I discuss on the blog) is culturally and societally challenging. It forces us to look in the mirror and reckon with our own journey. If our dream life exists, and we're not currently living it, the burden of decisions and consequences falls on the shoulders of the person staring at us in the mirror. "That's offensive!" 

He then listed out my various offenses:

• "Telling people they should find meaning in their work."

• "Showing people they don't have to use debt. Especially your take on credit cards."

• "Encouraging everyone to use a budget, even if they make a lot of money."

• "Saying that money won't make them happy."

• "It's ok to spend money on things you don't need."

• "Continually telling people they should give more. Then telling them they should give even more."

• "Every time you mention your huge pay cut when leaving your past career. This one makes me uncomfortable every time."

• "Any time you tell people to openly share their ideas with the world."

He pretty much just summed up my blog, my heart, and my mission. Uh oh, where is he going with this?

"You're offensive, Travis. Keep being offensive. We need it."

I think he makes a good point. Living counter-culturally can come across as offensive to some. Even when well-intentioned and sincere, pursuing a different path from the majority looks weird. Many of you regularly share your meaning over money stories, and the reactions you receive from others could certainly be referred to as "offended.” That tells me you’re on the right track - keep it up!

I hope you have a meaningful and offensive day!