The Unlikeliest of Inspiration

Since yesterday was the last school day before Christmas break, the boys stayed up later than usual. When it was finally time to go to bed, everyone was exhausted. Bedtime was a bit more expedited. Instead of each of us praying like most nights, I asked Finn to give one extra good prayer for all of us. He knocked it out of the park! Something he said caught my attention, though. He prayed for the people who were "poor and don't have homes" and asked God to give them blankets to stay warm in the cold.

After the tuck-ins finished and Sarah left the room, I asked him about that. He said he's been thinking about homeless people and is scared they won't be safe. I asked him if he’s interested in going to Target, filling up our car with blankets, and taking them to some friends who could deliver them to some of the homeless people in our community. He beamed with excitement. I guess I know what we'll be doing on our first day of Christmas break.

Then, he added something else. "Do you know the Mickey Christmas Carol movie? That's what made me interested in helping people who are poor and don't have homes. They talked about it on there, and I was really interested. Giving stuff to people for free and helping them." First, listening to this little boy try to say the word "interested" is pretty cute. Second, wow! How awesome is that!?!?

I talk to the boys about generosity all the time, but for whatever reason, Finn's recent viewing of Mickey's Christmas Carol connected some new dots for him. He gained some awareness. He ached for hurting people. He was inspired to act. Sometimes, inspiration comes from the most unlikely of sources.

I'm really excited for Finn to explore generosity in this way, and I'm extremely proud of him for taking this step. Who knows where it will lead, but it will hopefully be the next step in his journey of generosity.

Keep connecting dots. Connect your own dots. Help your kids connect theirs. Inspire others to connect theirs. You never know when a trigger moment may occur. Sometimes, inspiration comes from the most unlikely of sources.

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Corralling the Impulses

One of my friends, frustrated with his continual debt, reached out and asked a practical question: "How do you stop overspending?" Despite a fantastic income, he and his wife have ebbed and flowed in and out of credit card debt for nearly two decades. They are frustrated. They are tired. They are stressed.

"Just stop overspending." See, simple! But simple doesn't mean easy. We humans have some flawed wiring that makes it difficult to not overspend, and our modern-day culture encourages negligent behavior.

Some will read this post and want to slam their head against the wall repeatedly. Others will deeply relate. That's how polarizing this topic is. It's common sense not to overspend, but at the same time, our impulses lead us down that road.

At the risk of being nicknamed Captain Obvious, I'm going to share a few simple steps that can make a tremendous difference in our battle with overspending. Here we go!

1) Remove debt as an option. If debt is an option, be it credit cards, car loans, or any other types of consumer debt, we WILL use it.....eventually. We can say no 1,000 times, but that 1,001st time, our desires will get the best of us. I'm a huge advocate for structuring our life so that debt isn't even an option. Yes, I'm suggesting that people live without credit cards.

2) Have a plan. It's inevitable that our impulses will kick in. Again, we're human. One of the best ways to combat those impulses is to have a plan.....and stick to it. With money, that looks like a budget. A budget is just a vomit-inducing word that means we pre-decide where our money will go this month. It doesn't mean we'll spend less, but rather we'll spend what we said we will spend. We can budget $500 on dining out, which means we can (and should!) spend $500 on dining out, but we're not allowed to spend more than $500 on dining out. Following the plan keeps us accountable to our past selves who made the plan.

3) Understand the double-edged sword. Can we all agree that spending money feels good? That new pair of shoes. A state-of-the-art phone. A nice steak dinner. It can be euphoric! However, when we're in the moment of soaking up every ounce of that post-spend dopamine, we're not thinking about the other side of the equation: the stress, tension, guilt, and turmoil we'll soon endure from yet another act of overspending. It feels good in the moment, but the longer-term financial strain we put ourselves through more than negates the upside.

4) Know your why. While that new iPhone is pretty sweet, and will most certainly add value to your life, does it align or conflict with your bigger goals? If we can clearly define what your objectives are, it helps us make better decisions that align with those goals.

We deserve better than to live a stressful, tension-filled, guilt-ridden financial life. Find simple ways to regain control and corral your impulses. Future you will thank you for your service.

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The Relentless Pursuit of Excellence

When TJ asked me to partner with him in the re-launch of Northern Vessel, I asked him about his goals. He had one goal, which was as simple as it was audacious: "I want to create the single best coffee shop in America." Uh, ok. Pretty audacious for someone who had failed in his first few iterations of the company. When I asked him how this would happen, he also had straightforward answers:

• We will practice unreasonable hospitality.

• We will attempt to turn the coffee industry on its head and shift the way people experience coffee.

Again, TJ is audacious......borderline crazy. Over the thousands of conversations TJ and I have shared, these visions never get lost in the shuffle. They are a constant elephant in the room, perpetually reminding us why we do what we do. His standards are so high. He expects a lot from his team and partners, and even more from himself. He lives and breathes his dream. He's relentless!

Earlier this year, we spent weeks trying to put into words the way we approach our business. Ultimately, after many iterations, the words in front of us clicked: The relentless pursuit of excellence and the will to win. Notice how it's not about coffee, but excellence.....period. This message seemed to resonate with everyone we shared it with. Doctors, entrepreneurs, photographers, barbers, teachers, social media influencers. We were surrounded by an army of people who demand excellence, not only from themselves, but also from those who have the privilege of serving them.

Even the smallest nuances of our business get put under the microscope. Is that drink excellently prepared? Did we show joy to the customer who just walked in the door? Is the vibe of the shop on point? Are those the best lids for sipping a beverage? Is that Instagram post hitting the right mark? Does the team feel valued and empowered today? Did we show enough gratitude to those who step foot into our little world? Everything is on the table for critique. Good isn't good enough. It's the relentless pursuit of excellence in the big things and in the small things.

We aren't there yet. We aren't perfect. We still make mistakes. We're still learning. We still have a long ways to go. It's a never-ending journey, but a journey nonetheless.

We receive tons of feedback and reviews, and we appreciate all of it. Yesterday, though, we received a doozy on Google. It's creative, direct, and funny. It also gets to the heart of TJ's original vision. Here it is in its entirety:

"If you think Disney World is the happiest place on earth, then you clearly haven't been to Northern Vessel for a Cold Brew!

Better customer service than the most prestigious Michelin star restaurant, NV does it right. The coffee is expertly crafted, the employees and I do mean EVERY SINGLE EMPLOYEE, smiles and interacts in a way that makes you want to come back over and over again. Truly the brightest spot of most of my mornings.

I know what you're thinking, is this place stuffy and full of coffee snobbery; no sir. It's a super chill environment where people bask in the huge windows (when a KIA hasn't parked there, iykyk) and chat with their friends, you'll see business professionals sitting at the shared workspace typing away, and young families that pop in and out for their much needed caffeine break.

Feeling peckish? Worried that all they have to eat is some crusty vegan/gluten-free/taste free baked treat that looks and tastes like sidewalk chalk that was made in some random hipsters home kitchen? Have no fear! They serve up the best donuts from an actual donut shop, no random cat hair in your scone here, and I highly recommend the cherry cake donut, it's the best (although I do wish they had a double chocolate donut as those are my actual favorite).

All this to say if you want a great coffee, a good doughnut, and incredible customer service you can't go wrong at Northern Vessel, otherwise I hear there's new chain coffee shop opening up nearby where you can actually taste mediocrity and tears of the people that are unfortunate enough to darken its doors…"

Whatever it is you're doing today, be relentless. Keep pushing forward. Demand excellence in yourself. Know you'll fall short, then keep going. Enjoy the journey.

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The Creep Is Real

Today, I'm going to share the story of a friend. It's about his unique situation, but the same story plays out in millions of homes. It's the story of lifestyle creep. Lifestyle creep is a term that gets thrown around a lot, but today, I will give you a real-world example to shine a light on how destructive it can be. I will use round numbers for easier digestion.

Years ago, my friend and his wife combined for about $60,000 of annual income. It wasn't an abundant amount of money, but it was more than enough. They saved a bit for retirement through their work and had enough left to save about $500/month.

A few years later, the husband received a $20,000 promotion, and their $60,000 income was up to about $85,000 (including wife's pay raises). During that time, they moved into a better apartment and she purchased a new vehicle. They continued to save a bit for retirement and had enough left to save a few hundred dollars per month.

One year later, the wife received a $15,000 promotion, and their $85,000 income quickly increased to $100,000. He purchased a new car, and they joined a local country club. They continued to save a bit for retirement and had enough left to save about $500/month.

Fast forward about three years, and the husband took a new job that paid $30,000 more than the previous one. Combined with the wife's annual pay raises, and their combined income increased from $100,000 to approximately $140,000. They purchased a house and replaced both cars with nicer models. They continued to save a bit for retirement and had enough left to save about $500/month.

A handful of years later, they both moved up in their jobs and their income rose dramatically. In just those few years, their combined income increased from $140,000 to $230,000. They purchased a bigger house and began spending larger amounts of money on miscellaneous lifestyle categories (dining out, travel, clothes, etc.). They continued to save a bit for retirement and barely had enough to save anything each month.

That's when they called me. To the outside world, they were the definition of success. A large house, nice cars, fancy vacations, constant dining out. They had it made!!! Their reality, however, was much different. They continually stressed about money, their marriage was teetering (in part due to financial tensions), debt was building, they were way behind on retirement saving, they gave virtually nothing away, and they both hated their jobs. In other words, they were living the American Dream, er, Nightmare.

Can you relate? I'm sure many of you can, as this is a normal reality playing out in so many homes. This couple was earning nearly 4x of what they used to make earlier in their marriage, yet financial stress reached an all-time high. This is the destructive power of lifestyle creep. This is what happens when we pursue a life of more. This is what happens when we lose perspective.

Good news! It doesn't have to be this way. We can opt out of the American Nightmare. We can say no. We can take the path less traveled. I've been to the other side and am back to report it's amazing. Come join me!

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Keep Doing Good

Our nation was hit with another senseless school shooting yesterday. It was the latest in a string of tragic events that have ripped countless families apart. Day after day, bad things keep happening. Do you ever wake up some days and ask yourself why all this keeps happening?

There's a real helplessness that can fall onto our psyche as tragedy after tragedy impacts our lives and the lives around us. A helplessness and hopelessness. There's no shortage of terrible things all around us. Just in the past few weeks, I've walked alongside several families dealing with unspeakable loss.

While I can't undo or directly impact many of these tragedies happening around me, I have a role to play......and you do, too! In a world inundated with pain, suffering, and evil, we have an opportunity and responsibility in front of each of us: keep doing good.

Each day, we can choose to add to the pain, sit on our hands and be complacent, or do good. Each day is a new choice. Do I want to add to people's suffering, sit idly, or keep doing good?

This world needs all the good it can get. People need all the good they can get. That's my call to action today, short and sweet. Keep doing good. Each day, choose to do good. We can't necessarily prevent some of these painful events from unfolding, but we do have the collective power to drive more good into the world than bad can take away.

Maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part. Maybe it's impossible to make up for all the terror we're experiencing. Maybe it is, in fact, hopeless. However, I'm just crazy enough to believe that we do have influence. We do have an opportunity. We do have responsibility. I think each of us wields far more influence on this world than we know. I think today is a day to fight back with good. Keep doing good. Make an intentional choice each and every day. Let's push back on evil.

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Giving > Getting

We had Christmas at my parents’ house yesterday. Needless to say, the boys were beyond excited to celebrate Christmas with Grandma and Grandpa. And as with all little kids, they were especially excited for presents. If they had their choice, we would have set our alarms for 4AM to get the show on the road…..we fortunately held them off until 8:30.

When it was finally time to open the gifts, something unexpected happened. Instead of the boys clamoring for their own gifts, they insisted Grandma and Grandpa open the gifts the boys picked out for them. I jumped in and told them we don’t have to do that, but they weren’t having it. They were far more excited to give than to receive, which shocked me. They joyfully watched as each grandparent opened each gift, anticipating their every reaction.

It was absolutely wild watching eight-year-old kids intentionally and excitedly prioritize giving over getting. I knew how excited they were to receive, but had no idea they were even more excited to give. Amazing!! It absolutely made my day. They enjoyed giving the gifts to their grandparents, and enjoyed opening the gifts given to them…..then spent the rest of the day playing with their new toys and wearing their new clothes.

Giving is always greater than getting, regardless of age or context. It’s a universal truth to life, but a truth not enough people understand. I don’t know if my kids fully understand it (yet), but yesterday was a beautiful and promising sign.

Here’s my math equation of the day: giving > getting.

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Bang For Your Buck

"You don't need that!" claims the misers in our life. For as much as we like to characterize our society as materialistic and financially irresponsible, there's another undercurrent at play. Many people around us believe in the don't-buy-it-if-you-don't-need-it way of life. Some call them cheapskates. They trade in the currency of guilt. They are everywhere!

Instead of asking if we need something, I ask a different question. Will it add value to my life? If the answer is yes, then the follow-up question: Will it add more value to my life than it will cost? If the answer is yes, we should consider purchasing it.

For the first time in many years, I bought myself several items on Black Friday. I had a bunch of personal spending money saved in my CashApp account, so I decided to splurge on some fun impulsive purchases.

For context, I'm a big believer that each spouse in a marriage should get some money each month solely for their personal enjoyment. No questions, no criticisms, no negotiation. Just personal fun for that person. Sarah and I started doing this during our very first month of marriage, and I recommend other couples do it as well. Sarah is known for depleting all her monthly spending money by the 6th of the month. My habits are a bit different. I don't spend a lot month-to-month, so my personal spending account often builds over time.

Back to Black Friday. Since I had a bunch of personal spending saved up, I was ready to pull the trigger on a few fun items. One of them was an item I had been interested in for a while: A coffee mug warmer. I don't just like my coffee hot; I like it McDonalds lawsuit hot. I want to risk my personal safety with every sip. Unfortunately, coffee gets cold quickly. Enter the coffee mug warmer. It's a simple little device - think of it as a fancy coaster - that keeps your beverage hot for hours. Now, while I'm sitting at my desk, I always have a piping hot coffee sitting next to me. Brilliant!

Better yet, this fun little purchase cost me only $30. Huge bargain! Was it a need? No. Did it add value to my life? Absolutely! Did it add more than $30 of value. You bet it did!!! Thus, it was an amazing purchase.

Don't let guilt-trippers get you down. Don't fall into the "you don't need it" trap. Don't rob yourself of adding value to your life simply because there's something "more responsible" to do than buy a fun item. It's not about having a bigger financial scorecard in life.....it's about having a better life. And it turns out my $30 mug warmer helps provide me a better life! I'll take that little win.

What about you? What are some sub-$50 purchases that added a bunch of value to your life? I'd love to hear your examples!

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All Of It

Are you human? Good, I was hoping so. This post is for all the humans out there. We humans have a knack for playing little tricks on ourselves to get what we want. In today's piece, I'm going to discuss "extra." Specifically, extra income. We're not good at managing extra income. Tax refunds, bonuses, extra paychecks, commissions, gifts, etc. We love treating these irregular cash inflows as extra, and by extra, I mean we don't have to be responsible with it.

You know what happens to extra, right? Of course you do! For most of us humans, we waste it. I use the term waste not as a reference for spending on wants, but rather as an indictment of our lack of intentionality.

I'll use the example of a typical family. They know when their paychecks arrive each month. That income, whether budgeted or not, is largely allocated for life's various expenses. It's rhythmic. It's normal. But the extra? If we receive extra income, the typical outcome is to mentally and emotionally carve it out from our normal income and impulsively spend it. We forget context, goals, and priorities. Instead, we just act. It's a little Jedi mind trick we play on ourselves. We convince ourselves this income doesn't count, so we just willfully ship it wherever our emotions tell us to.

Here's the alternative. I'm a big believer that all income is created equal. Every penny that comes in, whether a normal paycheck, bonus, tax refund, or any other surprise we might receive, should be woven into the plan.

I recently met with a client who is a textbook version of what it looks like to get it right. They received an inheritance. As soon as they knew how much it would be, it went into their budget alongside their normal income. His income, her income, and inheritance. One big pot of money. It was just like every other month, except this month had a lot more in the pot.

They negotiated where this month's income would go, including the extra. A handful of categories received some extra love due to this larger income. Their decisions were proactive, measured, made in context with the larger situation, and aligned with their goals and values. Once they negotiated the plan, the next step was easy (and hard): They executed the plan. When the money arrived, they did exactly as planned. Money was physically moved into each respective destination, ensuring they honored their past selves' plans. Perfect.

It might sound like I'm splitting hairs with this one, but trust me, it makes all the difference in the world! When we allow all income to be created equal and take responsibility for it as such, we make different decisions. Better decisions. I could tell they had a ton of peace and unity with their plan. Nothing was impulsive. Every decision made sense. It moved them closer to their aspirations.

This is a model to follow. Regardless of where the income is coming from, treat the same as the rest. It can make all the difference in the world.

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Jimmy V’s Free Rent

As I was basking in the glory of #3 Iowa State's 13-point comeback win on the Iowa Hawkeyes's home court last night, ESPN switched to coverage of its annual V Week programming, beginning with Jimmy V's iconic speech at the inaugural ESPY Awards 31 years ago.

Jimmy V lives rent-free in my head. I remember watching that event as an 11-year-old kid. I was just there for the highlights and to see my favorite athletes win awards, but then this other man stepped to the podium. I didn't know who Jimmy V was, but the moment he started talking, I was captivated. His words seemed paradoxical to me. How was he talking about his imminent death (something I had never heard discussed before) while doing so with so much vigor and optimism? He made a mark on me that I wouldn't realize for many years, and now can't get out of my head.

If you do any amount of research on Jimmy V, you'll quickly find that he was extraordinarily successful in his professional career. He was a basketball player, coach, and broadcaster. As a coach, he led NC State to a national championship in what is now considered a legendary moment in basketball history.

Yet, despite all his accomplishments and celebrity, his biggest impact on this world wouldn’t occur until the waning months of his life. In 1992, at the age of 46, he was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer. If you didn't watch the speech linked above, I highly recommend you do. It's the best 11 minutes you'll spend all day! He gave that speech nine months after his cancer diagnosis, and he passed away less than two months later. That speech, and its aftermath, created a movement that carries through to this day. His foundation, launched that night 31 years ago, has raised nearly $400M for cancer research.

Jimmy V passed away at 47 years old when I was just 11, yet the impact of his final months of life carries with me to this day. I think about his zest for life, his determination to keep moving forward, his insistence of living with meaning, his passion for making a difference, his contagious joy, and his self-awareness of his own mortality. I say this as a 43-year-old man, 31 years after his speech and death. In his final weeks of life, he managed to spark something in me (and likely millions of others) in ways that would ripple through time.

This is me turning my chair away from memory land and toward you. Your best work is in front of you. No matter how old you are, what you've accomplished, or what you think is to come, your best work has not yet been availed to you or the world. You will likely make more impact in whatever time you have left than everything you've done to date combined.

Do you believe that? I believe that. Let's find out.

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Shinin’ Shoes and Savin’ Souls

I had a great trip to Mississippi this week. As I journeyed home, I was blessed with an opportunity to grab a quick shoe shine in the Jackson Airport, as I’ve wanted to get a professional shine to protect my new investment. Luckily, there was a shoe shine station immediately adjacent to my gate. I had a great time with Doc the shoe shine man. As he was wrapping up his work, I asked, “What do I owe you?” This is where it gets good.

“Here’s how it works over here. We shinin’ shoes and savin’ souls. Salvation is free, and so are the shoe shines. You just give whatever your heart tells you.”

Yes! Doc was speaking my language! I was anticipating the cost being $10-$15, with the plan of just giving him a $20 bill. But the moment he shared that, something inside me shifted. I reached into my pocket and gave him every dollar I had on me. 

Was Doc sincere? Not sure. Did he have ulterior motives? Not sure. But I was going to take him at face value…..because he built trust with me over the preceding 10 minutes. He served me with excellence. He was engaging, thorough, shared wisdom, and provided a killer end product. Excellence should be rewarded. If he’s running his own business out of the airport (which probably isn’t cheap), and doesn’t even have a price for his service (it’s 100% free), I suspect many other people also reward excellence. He wasn’t asking for a hand-out, but rather for an opportunity to serve people with excellence and let the chips fall how they may. It takes an awful lot of confidence to sustain a business without having a price tag on your product.....confidence only excellence can buy.

In addition to all that, in just 10 short minutes, he managed to make an indelible impact on me……enough to warrant an entire blog post by a complete stranger. Here’s an interesting question to ponder today. What can you do today to make the type of impact where a total stranger would write a blog about you? I don’t know the answer, but I do know one thing: the bar is probably lower than you think. It doesn't take some grandiose act to make an impact. Doc impacted me within 10 minutes of a chance encounter. If Doc can do that, why not you? Why not me? Why shouldn't we move the needle in someone's life today?

Let's get to work!

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Weird, I Know

With the holiday season approaching, especially in conjunction with Small Business Saturday, small businesses have been on a rampage encouraging, begging, pleading, demanding, and even guilt-tripping society to "shop small."

These businesses continually make their case about why you and I should shop local. The reasons vary, but the conclusion is always the same: We should all "support" small businesses.

It's widely documented I absolutely love small businesses. I own small businesses! However, it's also widely documented I loathe the phrase "support" when it comes to businesses. Businesses aren't charity. They don't fundraise. They don't inherently deserve our patronage. Their job isn't to get something from us, but to provide something for us.

When is the last time you saw a thriving small business tell people they should "support small business?" I can think of a few examples in my life, but they are rare. Instead, thriving businesses are busy trying to be excellent and, you know, thrive. Weird, I know.

At this very moment, I'm thinking about a few small businesses in my metro that have doubled down on excellence in the past few months. They are absolutely crushing it! They aren't trying to rely on "support" as much as they are trying to earn the right to serve people well, and if done with excellence, earn the right to serve them well again.

Excellence always wins! Consumers will always gravitate toward excellence, whether it's big business or small business, national business or local business. Business owners should spend far less time reminding people to "support" them, and more time just being excellent. Double down on excellence, and then after you've done that, triple down on it.

"It's not that easy, Travis!" I know it's not easy. It's one of the hardest things in the world. But that's the test. That's what determines who thrives, survives, and dies. Ultimately, though, it's not about gaining "support." It's about gaining trust, loyalty, and the privilege to serve someone with excellence. I love this stuff so much!

Small business owners, next time you think about asking someone to "support" your business, perhaps instead double down on excellence. Consumers, next time you wonder if you should "support" a small business near you, perhaps instead you should simply find excellent businesses and joyfully patronize them. The rest will sort itself out.

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The Cheap Gifts Linger

Think about the most expensive gifts you've ever received. Picture them in your mind. How much do you think they cost? When we receive these gifts, an overwhelming feeling of euphoria can rush over us. It's exciting.....and fun! I can picture some of my most expensive gifts in my head. They are all in a landfill today. Chances are, yours are, too. Or you received it not long ago, and it will eventually make its way there. It's sad, but true.

Now, think about some of the cheaper gifts you've received. Gifts that were rich in sentiment, not in sticker price. Maybe it was a framed picture, a hand-made item, or a customized item created solely with you in mind. Let me guess: You probably still have some of these....and you'll have them forever.

We live in a culture obsessed with putting a price tag on someone's value. Or, as famously quoted by Michael Scott, "Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It's like this tangible thing that you can point to and say, "Hey, man, I love you this many dollars worth."

Sure, that was a hilarious scene in one of the all-time great Christmas television episodes, but there's truth in Michael's words. We treat others - and internalize how others treat us - by the dollar value of gifts.

The cheap gifts linger, though. Sentiment always trumps material value. One will be in a landfill in just a handful of years, and the other might be a cherished possession for decades to come. I once gave my grandpa a painting of our state's Capital. It was a beautiful piece. It didn't cost a lot, but it carried so much meaning and sentiment. He talked about that painting until the day he died. Today, I possess that painting, and will likely do so until the day I die.

The cheap gifts linger. Do you believe that? If so, perhaps it can (and should) change the way you approach gift-giving this year. Don't feel beholden to the almighty dollar. Instead, ask yourself if you're giving a gift that will end up in a landfill soon, or a gift that will linger.

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Wait, Are They Spitting In My Food?!?!

Last month, I wrote a piece about listening to nudges in our generosity. In it, I used the example of leaving a large cash tip on a DoorDash order, mentioning that I typically try to tip cash to ensure the person receives the entire tip. Remember that?

Well, I just stumbled upon a disturbing discovery. There's a video circulating the interwebs, captured by a Ring door cam. A DoorDash driver approaches a house to drop off the food order. The customer, just like in my post linked above, attempts to hand the delivery driver a cash tip. "Ignore it. You keep that," responds the driver. "Why?" asks the confused customer. "Because I didn't see you tip on the app, and I put a little card in there. So please keep it. I'm sorry." The video clip ends with a still photo of the note the driver left for her: "Lucky for you I didn't bother the food but next time consider tipping your driver."

Door dasher leaves a nasty note in her food because she thought she wasn’t going to tip pic.twitter.com/th5NSNc7cq

— FadeHubb (@FadeHubb) January 8, 2024

Wow. Just wow. There's a lot going on here. First, it's shocking how entitled the driver is to think that a) a tip is 100% mandatory, and b) it merits threatening the safety and cleanliness of the customer's food. That's an audacious move.....dare I say disgusting?

But there's something else I want to hone in on here. It's interesting that the driver's first instinct upon seeing no explicit tip being left on the app is the assumption there is zero tip whatsoever. That doesn't happen by accident. It's probably the byproduct of hundreds of times when no tip was left. That's actually pretty sad.

From the comfort of our home, we're jumping on our $1,000 cell phones to order food that will be hand-delivered to our door, where we'll meet the driver (in our jammies), so we can enjoy a completely stressless and effortless meal. And we're not even leaving a tip!?!? We're collectively venturing into selfish narcissist territory.

And all the while, I'm over here unknowingly risking someone spitting in my food, all because I want to bless drivers with large cash tips? No, I'm not defending this driver's gross behavior and disgusting threats. I hope she ate a big slice of humble pie that night and subsequently tried to make amends for her actions.

What I'm suggesting today is that we have an opportunity on our hands. We have an opportunity to consistently pour out so much generosity into this world that the (figurative and literal) DoorDash drivers get excited when they don't see a tip added on the app. A world where instead of sending threatening letters, they are handing out thank-you notes.

I know a lot of people will vehemently disagree with this, and I respect that. I'm here to push boundaries and move needles, and that gets uncomfortable sometimes. I hope you'll join me by leaning hard into this endeavor. Generosity always wins! Together, we can start to bend our culture. Reminder, even a 1% bend is still progress. Let's go!

Seriously, though, did that dude spit in my Taco Bell last month? Maybe someday I'll find out......

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A Silly Holiday Reminder

I have a silly reminder for you today. It might seem obvious, inconsequential, or harmless, but it’s important. As we continue deeper into the holiday season, you don’t have to do everything.

Our impulse says to say yes to anything and everything. Add this expense. Jam that onto the calendar. ‘Tis the season, after all!

But you don’t have to. You don’t have to turn what should be a peaceful time into a grind. You don’t have to screw up your finances. You don’t have to pack the schedule. It’s ok to say no……even to family! Don’t get railroaded. Don’t let the current sweep you out to sea.

So many people are about to sabotage their joy, peace, and finances. Resist the urge. You don’t have to do it. You can say no.

Lean hard into what matters most, and I’m pretty sure financial stress, exhaustion, and busyness aren’t on your wishlist for Santa. Choose peace. Choose contentment. Choose intentionality. Your future self will thank your current self for this gift.

Days That End in “Y”

I ran into an old friend yesterday. It was a coincidental and short encounter, but fun. I asked him what he's been up to, and vice versa. He mentioned he's heard a few co-workers talk about my blog. Upon asking how often I write, he was flabbergasted to hear that I write and publish every single day. I don't usually think about how weird this is until other people remind me.

On the flip side, this dude is jacked! He looks like a bodybuilder because, well, he is. I asked him how often he lifts, and he responded, "only on days that end in "y." Well played with the dad joke, sir. I was as equally impressed by his lifting rhythm as he was with my writing.

That's the funny thing about people. My normal is crazy to him, and his normal is crazy to me. I dig it! I wish I could develop that type of lifting habit. For as diligent as I am about writing, I lack in many other areas.

Another oddly consistent habit I possess is my intermittent fasting. I fast from dinner until noon the next day.....every single day. I fast for 17-18 hours, then eat over a 6-7 hour window. I've done this for the last 18 months or so, and it's changed my life. I never get hungry, and it's become completely normal to me.

Another habit that's completely normalized to Sarah and I is budgeting. We've budgeted (and tracked/followed it) for the last 182 months.....more than 15 years. It's just part of life for us, and it's changed our life and marriage.

While I'm grateful for these three consistent habits in my life, I definitely need to find more. What about you? What are some consistent habits that others may find weird but have changed your life for the better? Curious minds want to know! I'll produce a follow-up piece to (anonymously) share your collective feedback with the broader group.

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Flipping Tipping On Its Head

Tipping has developed a bad reputation over the last few years; some of it deserved. It seems like everyone, eyes wide with envy, is chasing the almighty tip dollars. Everyone is asking for tips these days! People are burned out, and in many ways, I don't blame them. Example: I was recently asked to tip at a self-serve kiosk with ZERO employees. Who am I tipping, the machine?!?!

However, I also believe the tipping pendulum is at risk of swinging back too far. With people fed up with open-hand tip requests, many are cutting back and/or ceasing tips altogether. I don't think this is the right approach, either.

So, today, I have a proposal to make you. Instead of viewing tipping as some entitlement hand-out baked into the already-high price of goods and services, let's reframe it as giving. The opportunity to tip is an opportunity to practice generosity. I'm not suggesting every single tip request merits a generous tip, but rather, we should welcome the opportunity to reward excellence with intentional generosity.

I approach tipping as the training ground and experimental lab of generosity. Have you ever left an obscenely high tip for someone? It will rock your world. Have you ever been served by someone who was clearly having a stressful day, only to see their face change upon receiving an outsized tip? It will make your day. Have you ever given a thoughtful tip to someone who oftentimes doesn't receive a tip at all? It's life-giving.

No, you don't have to tip. Yes, it would be cool if employees were paid more. No, you shouldn't be made to feel guilty. Yes, it's ridiculous that every single role is now requesting tips. Despite all that, I still believe each of us has the influence to use these little opportunities to move the needle in people's lives and in our culture. Further, embracing these little moments will also add value to our own lives. It will brighten our day, make us smile, and give us something to think about.

Join me. Let's reframe tipping in our lives. Let's lean hard into generosity and make some people's days. It might be one of the coolest things you do all day.

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Choosing the Wrong Anchors

I was blessed with an opportunity to spend time with one of my closest friends yesterday. We don't see each other as much as we should, but man, it's great when we do. Our conversation triggered a concept I often discuss in my coaching, but has never come up on the blog. Well, today is the day!

Let's say you have a full-time job but are simultaneously working to transition to your dream job, your calling. You aspire to eventually transition full-time into the new gig. However, the elephant in the room is when. Every ounce of you wants to do the new thing, but the bulk of your time is invested in the old thing (which you don't particularly care about). How do you know when to flip the switch?

I'll use a real-life example of a friend. He makes $150,000 in his current full-time job, and has built his new business up to approximately $50,000 per year. Here's what I find most impressive about this. With only his leftovers (after working a full-time job and investing in his family as a husband and dad), he's managed to build up his dream business to $50,000 per year of income. Just imagine what he could do if he dedicated his best professional hours toward this growing passion!!!

One problem, though. Conventional wisdom says he shouldn't quit his full-time job until he's built up his new work to a similar income. In other words, once he's able to make at least $150,000 in his new gig, he can jump ship. This belief is founded on the idea that we should never go backward on our income. This is toxic thinking!

I'll state the obvious. There's very little chance my friend can build his new business up to $150,000 per year while giving it only scraps of time and energy. He feels stuck. He's frustrated. He's running out of steam. There's a chance he'll give up. Why? All because he chose the wrong anchor.

Please allow me to offer an alternative. Instead of trying to replicate his current income, he should seek to make enough. I pressed him with this question. "How much income do you need to make, combined with your wife's income, to pay for your basic needs?"

"About $40,000."

"So you're already there! You could quit today, focus full-time on your calling, and still care for your family. That sounds like a no-brainer decision!"

"I don't want to lose ground financially, though."

This is where I put the proverbial mirror in front of him, "So your standard of living and pride is more important to you than your calling. It's not that you can't, but rather you won't."

To his credit, he admitted that's probably true. I'm not trying to make him sound materialistic or egotistical. Rather, I'm trying to highlight the toxic power of choosing the wrong anchor. When we anchor our expectations on some arbitrary reality (a reality we’re trying to escape, mind you), it can rob us of our calling. Instead, I propose we anchor our expectations on what's enough. That subtle shift will change everything!

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I’m Sorry, Dead Horsey

I promised myself not to beat this dead horse any further this year, but a fateful conversation with a trusted friend yesterday tempted me back down this road.

"Travis, just got done meeting with our financial advisor. It's been a great year!"

"That's awesome! Tell me about it. What did he share that makes you so excited?"

"Well, first, our investments are up nearly 18% in the last 12 months!"

I tried to maintain my poker face, but as my wife Sarah can attest, I'm terrible at it. My friend could immediately tell I had a cringe-meets-disgust expression.

"What? He said 18% is pretty good. And since the market is supposed to go up 7-8% per year, that's really good, right?"

He showed me his account statement, and we confirmed he did, in fact, receive approximately 18% over the last 12 months. Without saying a word, I opened my online account and showed him this:

34.4%. That's what my investment account received in the last 12 months (12/1/2023-11/30/2024). My friend couldn't believe this. "How the #$!@ did you get that??!?"

I explained this is how the U.S. stock market performed over the last 12 months. Intrigued, he had lots of questions:

"Why did I only get 18% if the stock market got 34%?”

• His financial advisor puts him in garbage and crushes him with fees.

"If I had about a half million in my account 12 months ago, how much did this cost me?"

• About $80,000 just this year alone.

"How hard is it to invest in something like you're talking about?"

• It's one of the easiest things we can do. There are index funds that give you about 4,000 companies in one single investment, with almost zero fees. Vanguard and Fidelity have great options, as do most people's 401(k)s.

"Is it guaranteed?"

• No, it's a mess. It's a bumpy ride and can feel miserable. But the market has returned more than 9% over the last 150+ years and more than 10% over the last 100 years.

"Will I lose money?"

• Nothing is for certain, but the U.S. stock market has never lost money over a 15-year period.....ever. So, considering this friend is 30 and can't even touch his retirement assets for another 30 years (age 60), that doesn't feel too risky to me.

"How often should I be making changes to my investments?"

• I haven't made a single change in more than 15 years.

"How do I know when to sell?"

• I've literally never sold anything, and will never sell anything until I need it someday.

"We really like our guy, though. We'll probably just keep him."

• OK

We all have the right to do whatever we want with our money and investments. But I believe information is power, and people deserve proper context. It's so disheartening to see family after family unknowingly lose hundreds of thousands (or millions!) of dollars for no good reason. They deserve better. You deserve better!

Perhaps it's time to check your statements again.

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It's Still the Same You

One of my friends recently went from being middle class to having $50M in cash. By "recently," I mean a few years ago. Here's the thing, though. Nobody in his life, besides his spouse and a few others, knows this even happened. He owned a boring business that quickly grew bigger and more successful than most people realized. He sold it, and poof, he was mega-wealthy.

In an instant, everything changed. Yet, at the same time, nothing changed at all. During a recent conversation, he interestingly said, "I thought my life would magically change, but I'm still the same me." He seemed disappointed by that revelation. Money has a funny way of not impacting us like that.

We view money as the x-factor that will change everything for us. If I only had $_____, then I'd be happy. If I could just get to $____, then I wouldn't worry anymore. Unfortunately, that's not how it works. First, let me say the obvious. Having a bunch of money will significantly reduce one's month-to-month financial stress. That's the most Captain Obvious thing I'll say today. However, money does not cure most things in our lives. Taking it one step further, having lots of money will inevitably open up new challenges.

It's easy to look at someone with a ton of money and think, "It must be nice!" In some ways, I'm sure it is. On the flip side, however, those people still battle demons, loss, pain, and turmoil. Life is still life, regardless of how many resources you have.

What's the point of this rant? Don't rely on more money to dictate your happiness. Don't hold that carrot in front of you, believing that more is the answer to what ails you. Don't (falsely) believe that wealth is the remedy for all of life's problems. It's not. It can help in some situations, but at the end of the day, it's still the same you. Therefore, invest in the person in the mirror. Keep growing. Take care of yourself. Pursue meaning. Keep moving forward, regardless of your financial standing.

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I Stole Her Generosity

Sarah and I operate our finances with a high level of intentionality. Each month for the past 15 years, we've negotiated and executed a budget (in fact, as I was writing this paragraph, she interrupted me and reminded me of a few items we need to add to this month's budget). The budget accounts for every dollar of income coming in that month, segregated into various spending, saving, and giving categories. When we encounter a possible expenditure of $100+, we discuss it. Well, with one exception: giving. We are very intentional about our normal giving budget, but not so much with the irregular giving. The one-offs. The spur of the moment. The little nudges. The instinctual gifts. If either of us feels called to give, regardless of the person, cause, or amount, we have the green light. If we don't have enough money in that month's giving budget to cover it, we have a separate bucket of money we can pull from. "Just be generous" is the operating model.

It took Sarah several years to embrace this principle. For the longest time, she felt anxious about unilaterally making these types of decisions. Eventually, though, she started owning it; she even looped the kids into the fold. When the nudge came to give, she gave. No hesitation, no second-guessing. Just be generous. It's been one of the coolest parts of our life together.

I recently stole her generosity, though. It was Thanksgiving Day. We were in a grocery store picking up some ingredients for our big meal. It was Sarah, me, the boys, and our two nieces. As we stood in the checkout lane, Sarah noticed two firefighters standing in front of us. They were in full uniform, with a cart full of food. Sarah leaned over to me, "We should buy theirs to thank them for their service today." Amazing idea! For whatever reason, though, I stalled out on her. "It's going to be weird trying to pay for someone in front of us. We would definitely do it if they were behind us." "That's okay," she replied, and the moment passed.

Wow. I whiffed. There's no reason we shouldn't have purchased their cart of food. Zero reason. Zilch. I don't know what sidetracked me, but I failed Sarah and those two firefighters. Sarah had a beautiful idea (or nudge), and I sabotaged her. I felt pretty lousy about it. As we were pulling away from the store, I said, "I really regret that. I failed. I'm so sorry."

"Just be generous" is a beautiful model to live by. I highly recommend it! Pull out the stops. There's something amazing that happens when we prioritize someone else's needs over our own wants. It transforms the way we view and handle our money. However, just like I did on Thanksgiving, you'll make mistakes. You whiff. You'll miss the moment. While that sucks, the good news is there will be another moment the next hour, next day, or next week. The moments are all around us. Just be generous.

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