Putting the Pieces Together

What does it mean to win with money? I could ask 20 people and get 20 different answers. We all view it through a different lens. We each possess different skills, and we each have our shortcomings. Some things we'll get right, and other things may be more of a challenge. We don't have to nail every aspect, but it's important to remove any glaring deficiencies. Most families thrive in some areas and struggle in others. 

However, I recently met with a couple who inspired me to write about this topic. I've worked with this couple for over a year, but this meeting was particularly inspiring. They are a younger-ish couple, both teachers. In my mind, they've cracked the code on personal finance. No, they aren't geniuses in any one area, but they are doing good in pretty much every area. I'll summarize:

• They have unity, a shared vision, and joint ownership of their finances.

• They budget intentionally each month, leaning into their unique values.

• They have an emergency fund to protect them for WHEN life punches.

• They spend money on wants that add value to their life.

• They utilize sinking funds to save for future purchases/expenses.

• They give joyfully and sacrificially.

• They paid off all their non-mortgage debt.

• They invest with discipline, simplicity, and effectiveness.

• They have cheap term life insurance policies that will replicate each person's respective income in the event of a tragic event. 

• They are in the process of setting up wills.

• They both pursue work that matters, and find meaning and fulfillment in their careers.

• They are creating financial margin to provide flexibility for future decisions and lifestyle shifts.

They are the total package! No, it's not because they have massive incomes and unlimited resources. Reminder, they are both teachers. They are normal people, making normal money, living a normal life. Except it's not a normal life. It's an extraordinary life.

What's their secret? Intentionality, discipline, humility, contentment, and consistency. That's it. Good choice after good choice after good choice. Oh yeah, and that whole unity, shared vision, and joint ownership thing. They are doing it together. There is no "mine" and "yours." Everything is "ours." For better or worse. 

Yes, this is an opportunity for me to brag about this amazing couple. However, there's more to it. I hope you find encouragement in it. We ALL have the power to get better in the areas of money. The only thing stopping us is us. It's not easy, but it's so, so worth it. Get 1% better today! Then, get 1% better tomorrow. One day at a time. You got this!

Catch That Breather

Warning: I'm about to share some financial advice that will deeply offend some financial people. 

If you're still reading this, you've been warned. I take no responsibility for any level of annoyance or disgust you're about to experience.

I recently met with a couple in the middle of a butt-kicking financial journey. They got themselves into a pretty deep hole, and now they're digging out. It's been a slog of an endeavor, but they're making fantastic progress. However, they are flat-out tired. I can see it in their eyes. It's the financial version of seeing a basketball hunched over during a dead ball, clutching his shorts and panting heavily. You can clearly see the tank is empty. They've left everything they had on the court. That's this couple!

Anyway, I could sense they were about ready to break (which is a terrible outcome!). Therefore, I took extreme measures in our last meeting. I encouraged them to stop paying debt next month. Yes, completely stop. No debt payoffs, no saving, no investing.....nothing "responsible." Instead, aside from their needs, minimum debt payments, and giving, they will use ALL of their extra income for "irresponsible" things. Dining out, travel, personal spending, and maybe a few fun things for their house. Totally irresponsible!

Three powerful things will happen when they follow through with this ridiculous-sounding plan:

1. They will get a much-needed break. They are exhausted, and this one-month progress break will be the equivalent of a coach giving their star player a short breather. This break will give them the energy to get back on the court and finish the game strong. 

2. They will experience first-hand that it was not wants that hurt them in the past, but a lack of intentionality. On the flip side, when they experience a month chock-full of fun want spending while simultaneously keeping the financial train on track, it will show them that wants aren't the problem. It's all about intentionality. This experience will change them!

3. These things won't inherently make them happy. They will be fun, but they won't move the satisfaction needle as much as those progress months do. This will further embolden them to get back on the court and take care of business once and for all. 

"Irresponsible" spending only. No progress. No wise moves. No debt payoffs. No saving. No investing. Just fun things. Just because. This is the break they need. This is just what the doctor ordered to propel them to that next level. 

If you can relate to this couple, perhaps you need a break. Maybe you need to catch that breather. It's ok if you do. Even Jordan needed one every now and then. 

The Tension Brings Clarity

I had a fun e-mail exchange with a friend regarding my recent car-related posts. He shared how "liberating" life has been since becoming debt-free four years ago. However, his next comment is what got me. Since he was a new and now-committed member of the debt-free club, buying a truck would be a different experience. This now meant he "could not even consider" buying a truck without having the cash in hand. This changes everything! He added that while he had the cash to buy whatever truck he wanted (impressive move!), he ultimately decided to spend $10,000 less on his purchase (humble move!).

When we refuse to use debt to purchase vehicles, it creates a very palpable tension. It's hard to save a big chunk of money for vehicles. It's a long, thankless, and often unrewarding task. That's precisely the point, though. That process brings with it a tension that must be reckoned with. When it's finally time to pull the trigger on that new ride, we're faced with the reality of parting ways with so much of our hard-earned cash. That tension is brutal...and the cost high!

That tension also brings clarity. To explain this dynamic, I'll use the opposite example. Let's say my friend was truck shopping with the intent of using debt (you know, the normal way). He finds what he's looking for, falls in love with it, and needs to make a decision. He has two options in front of him: a $40,000 truck and a $50,000 truck (I made those prices up). The $50,000 truck is clearly better. It has all the bells and whistles....and a bigger engine! After doing the math, he realizes the $50,000 vehicle will "only" cost him $150/month more than the other. Considering that the $50,000 vehicle is superior and he likes it more, $150/month seems like an absolute no-brainer! See, there's no tension in the decision-making process. It's a number on a piece of paper. $150. That's not a needle-mover in many people's lives. We won't talk about the fact it's $150/month for the next 84 months.....that's for future him to worry about. Current him gets the nice truck right now!!! Again, no tension.

On the other hand, he's living in a new reality where debt is not an option. He has the same decision in front of him: buy the $40,000 or $50,000 truck. This time, however, there's a difference. Since he's writing a check no matter what vehicle he buys, he's faced with the proposition of trading an extra $10,000 of his hard-earned money for the nicer truck. It's ok if he chooses that one, but he will immediately have $10,000 less in his bank account. There's the tension!

The tension brings clarity. When faced with that tension, we almost always make better, clearer decisions. He knew exactly what he was getting, exactly what he was paying for it, and would face the consequences immediately. Tension and clarity!

He clearly and confidently chose the $10,000 cheaper option. That tension is a beautiful thing.

Have To vs. Get To

I'm still thinking about the conversation I shared with the young woman I mentioned in yesterday's post. One of the things that struck me about her story is how much meaning and impact she's making in her work. She's a legit hero. Her eyes lit up when she talked about her work, yet at the same time, she admitted the utter frustration she feels when her income immediately goes toward debt payments.

See the tension there? Her work has so much meaning, yet her financial situation has changed her relationship with it. She's literally changing people's lives, but the income she's receiving from it is helping her barely hang on financially.

This is a tension I felt earlier in my career. Despite loving what I was doing, I woke up in the morning knowing I had to go to work. My job, and the paycheck it would provide, was my only lifeline to making my debt payments and living to fight another day. I was grateful for the job, but in some ways, it felt like I had nothing to show for all my hard work. That's a very helpless and defeating feeling. But there's a purpose behind it.

Then, something happened. When our $236,000 of debt was gone (4.5 long years later), I woke up feeling different. For some odd reason, my job got better. I felt more positive about it. I found excitement toward the work. I became better at what I did. Literally nothing about my job changed. I'm the one who changed. After a few weeks, I realized what it was. For all those years, I HAD TO go to work. Now, I GET TO go to work. It was a choice, and that choice changed everything!

Feeling like we have a figurative gun to our head is the worst feeling in the world. Even the best job will feel like garbage if we believe we don't have a choice. On the flip side, there's no better feeling than knowing we are going to work today solely because we want to. There's freedom in that. There's meaning in that.

My relationship with work forever changed that day. I promised myself that if one day I didn't want to go to that job anymore, I wouldn't. Little did I know, I'd have to follow through with that promise just seven years later when I left that career to begin what I do now. It was the hardest decision I ever made, but also the easiest (ironic, I know). I GET TO do what I do, and I never take that for granted. It doesn't mean it's easy (it's not). It doesn't mean it's always fun (it's not). But, boy, I can testify there's nothing more fulfilling or rewarding than waking up every day knowing I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to do.

I hope you wake up with the same feeling. If not, I invite you to find it. It's out there.....I promise.

My Three Promises

I recently had the pleasure of spending time with a young adult in a decent amount of debt—car, student loans, credit cards—you know, the normal stuff! It was my first time meeting her, and I thoroughly enjoyed spending that time with her. 

Much of our time was spent formulating a plan to get out of debt and creating financial momentum to do so. The problem with so many people who are in debt, including Sarah and me when we first got married, is that the situation feels too heavy. The minimum payments feel too intense, the disposable income too little, and the mountain seemingly insurmountable. 

After laying out the plan, I made her three promises. These are the same three promises I make to all my clients beginning a debt payoff journey, and they are the same three promises I'll make you today if you find yourself in debt. 

1. Paying off debt is very simple. We list the debts in our desired payoff order (I prefer the smallest balances first). Each month, we pay the minimum amount due on each debt. Then, we take any remaining extra income and pay down the next debt in our sequence. Repeat this process each month, moving to the next debt each time one is paid off. It's simple!

2. Paying off debt is very hard. It can be a grind. Month after month after month. It's a thankless endeavor, and there's nothing enjoyable about it. At some point, it becomes a mental game. Can we stay focused? Can we stay disciplined? Can we keep our emotions at bay? There are so many other things we'd rather do with this money each month. Are we willing to make the necessary sacrifices? It's hard!

3. Paying off debt is so, so worth it. It's impossible to explain the amount of peace, freedom, and satisfaction we experience upon paying off our debt. It may have felt like we were carrying 100 pounds on our shoulders, but after paying it off, it feels like we actually shed 500 pounds. It literally changes everything! That moment of debt-payoff freedom becomes a significant inflection point in our lives, and we realize things will never be the same again. It's so worth it!

I lived this journey personally, and I've walked alongside dozens of families in their own journeys. Don't overcomplicate things.....it's very simple. Don't let someone tell you it will be easy.....it may be one of the hardest things you ever do. Don't underestimate the impact it will make in your life....it's will change everything!  

Not only CAN you do it, you SHOULD do it. Strike that. You WILL do it. You got this!

A Different Way to Travel

One of the most pervasive myths floating around our society is that we NEED a credit card to travel. People believe this so much that they are willing to play Russian Roulette with their finances to make it happen. Here's a very real example. One of my clients had more than $30,000 of credit card debt. It's a chunk of debt that's expanded and contracted for more than a decade. Fortunately, they decided to lock down and aggressively pay it off. Getting debt-free took about 14 months, and they celebrated mightily upon completion!

I pleaded with them to cancel their cards—I literally begged! Then, the dreaded phrase came out of their mouths: "We NEED to keep at least one open for travel." Uh oh, the myth still had them captive! Despite my best efforts, they elected to keep this card open "just for travel." You can probably guess where this is going. Life happened, and they ended up back in credit card debt. 

There's a better way! A simpler way! We don't need a credit card for travel. I haven't had a credit card for more than 14 years now. I've traveled to nearly 30 countries during that span.....with no credit card in my possession. I buy plane tickets with a debit card. I book hotel rooms with a debit card. I rent cars with a debit card. I buy meals, Ubers, and activities with a debit card. It's possible to travel without a credit card. I don't just preach it.....I live it. 

All that said, it's not enough for me to simply say, "Stop using credit cards for travel." I'll also share how I structure my travel life: 

• I have a designated sinking fund for travel. But instead of using a savings account, I have it set up as a checking account. It's a separate checking account ONLY for travel use. 

• Each month, we allocate money for travel in our budget. When we do, we literally take that money and move it from our primary checking into our travel fund. We treat it as an expense, and actually "pay" that expense. 

• When we travel, we use the debit card associated with our travel fund to pay for all travel-related expenses: cars, hotels, flights, food, activities, etc. Everything!

• The money comes directly from our travel fund, leaving our monthly budget completely unscathed. 

If that sounds too simple, it's because it is. Simplicity always wins. If there's money in the account, we travel. If there's not, we don't. No exceptions. There's zero chance of making a mistake, going into debt, or getting ourselves into trouble. Handling travel this way also forces us to be intentional with our budget each month, as our travel fate relies on us actually setting money aside. 

I know I'm fighting an uphill cultural battle with this one, but I felt compelled to share this alternative way of thinking today. Try it for yourself. I have a feeling you'll love it as much as we do. 

You Don’t Have to Buy That Car

As I was scrolling through Twitter yesterday, I stumbled upon a Tweet about the latest auto loan statistics. What I saw astounded me (but not really). It's unfortunately the way of the world, and I've long ago conceded we as a culture will continue to let vehicles steal our dreams and sabotage our finances. I sound dramatic, don't I? I'll share the numbers with you, then let you decide for yourself. In the third quarter of 2023, here are the metrics for the AVERAGE new car loan: 

• Loan Balance: $40,200

• Monthly Payment: $726

• Loan Term: 5.7 years

I remember the first time I saw a $1,000 car payment. It was shocking. These days, I see a new one nearly every week. I now regularly see $1,500 car payments. Yes, you read that correctly. $1,500/month for something we drive. 

Most of the time, when the car payment elephant in the room comes up with a client or prospective client, there's a "but."

• But…our last car broke down.

• But…we needed something with fewer miles.

• But…we needed something safer.

• But...we needed something newer.

• But…we needed something more reliable.

"But" is the gateway to a self-sabotaging financial decision. It's common to see families with $1,500-$2,000 of monthly car payments, while simultaneously feeling stuck and victimized by their lack of financial margin. The primary reason we get ourselves into this mess is using any number of reasons to justify what we already want to do.....and what we already want to do is have a sweet ride. 

I have good news to share with you today. You don't have to buy that car. Nobody is holding a gun to our heads and forcing us to make significant life-altering financial decisions. Yes, we need transportation. But we don't need a vehicle corresponding to a massive monthly payment. I'd even take it a step further and argue we don't need a vehicle that requires any car payment whatsoever.

Sarah and I haven't had car payments for more than 14 years. It's not because we make so much money, but rather because we made a commitment to never again have a car payment. It's amazing how refusing to go into debt results in not having debt. However, this commitment requires us to make intentional decisions. You know, crazy, insane decisions like buying used cars with some miles, maintaining them, holding them for many years, and slowly saving for the next car along the way. I drive a car with 125,000 miles, and she drives one with 175,000 miles. They run well. They occasionally break. We fix them. Repeat. At some point in time, it will make sense to sell them, add money from our car sinking fund, and upgrade to newer vehicles with fewer miles. 

Along the way, there are two realities we continually face:

Reality #1: Our car game isn't sexy. Far from it. It's kinda lame. 

Reality #2: Our unsexy car game allows us to live a life full of flexibility, margin, generosity, impact, and meaning. 

You don't have to buy that car.

Keeping Emotions at Bay

Welcome to the time of year when Sarah and I grumble about our vehicle situation. With the recent 25 inches of snow that blasted our town in a matter of four days, we received another harsh reminder that her mid-size front-wheel drive SUV with 175,000 miles isn't the most ideal winter ride. To top it off, we've started to experience some minor maintenance setbacks.

Given my line of work, I regularly have a front-row seat to how couples navigate car situations. In general, emotions steer the boat (er, car). In a situation similar to ours, the red flags, sirens, and all other ancillary warning signs in the emotional side of our brain start escalating. "We NEED something safer." "We NEED something more reliable." "We NEED something newer."

Whenever you start spiraling on an idea, stay keen on the words you're using. If "need" keeps popping up, pay special attention. The word "need" is often used as a justifier, because if we can mentally shift something from a want to a need, it's easier to justify pulling the trigger on a purchase....no matter the cost.

Sarah and I won't be purchasing a vehicle any time soon. We don't use debt for non-real estate purchases, period. We haven't in our 14 years of marriage, and we aren't starting now. There's zero chance we would sign the dotted line to acquire monthly payments for a vehicle because we "need" it. Even if we truly did need a vehicle, there's zero chance we would buy anything requiring a loan. Those $400, $700, or $1,000/month payments are such a harsh opportunity cost. There are literally a hundred things we'd rather do with $400-$1,000/month than dump it into a depreciating asset that gets us from point A to point B. When debt (option A) is off the table, we must resort to options B, C, D, and so on. That's when creativity and discipline start to shine. When we remove the path of least resistance, we make clearer, better, and more beneficial long-term decisions. To be honest, most of the freedom and opportunity in our family’s life can be directly attributed to those moments where we steered away from our emotions (and the debt they typically lead us into). I’m so grateful that younger Travis and Sarah had the courage to defy our culture’s prevailing wisdom of debt and finance.

If we were to listen to our emotions, we'd probably have a different vehicle by next week. However, our dreams are too big, and our purpose is too great to let our emotions win. We'll plan for the vehicle situation and pull the trigger when the time and situation are right. In the meantime, we'll continue to navigate our vehicles with intentionality, patience, and humility.

Keep your emotions at bay. When you do, it's amazing how much peace, contentment, and financial achievement will come. I believe you deserve that, and hopefully, you believe it, too.

Current You vs. Future You

We humans have a fantastic ability to disassociate our current selves from our future selves. Take a recent date night as an example. We're out with a few friends, enjoying dinner and some drinks. We're all having a good time and excited to have kid-free time with other adults. Fast forward a few hours, I ate too much rich food, and I probably didn't need that drink toward the end of our evening together. In those moments, I was focused on my current self while completely disregarding my future (12 hours from now) self. I woke up the next morning feeling pretty blah. Had I been more self-aware, I would have considered what future me would want current me to do.....but I didn't. The problem is that, in due time, future me becomes current me.

That's a more minor and less consequential example of this concept. It's also scary considering how short of a time gap there is between current me and future me in that story.....a measly 12 hours. But yet, even though future me would become current me in less than a day, I still disrespected him.

Now, take that same concept and expand the time gap to 5, 10, or 20+ years. The further out in the future we're looking, the harder it is for us to associate with that person. And when we can't associate with that person, we lose empathy, compassion, and care. They are a stranger to us. It's someone we haven't met yet, nor will we meet for possibly decades. As a result, we don't much care what they think or feel.

Let's replace dinner and drinks with financial decisions. Maybe current you is thinking about taking out a big, fat car loan to acquire that shiny new vehicle you've had your eyes on. Have you considered what future you will think of that? In a few years, that shiny vehicle will be worn, out-of-date, and beat up. At the same time, future you will still be making those ridiculous payments and will have lost out on the opportunity cost of what could have been done with all those monthly payments.

Or maybe it's investing. Let's face it: investing $1,000/month isn't all that fun. I can think of a hundred things I'd rather do with '$1,000 each month. However, what would future me think about current me's decision to spend all that money on myself now? Current me can have a lot of fun with $1,000/month, but future me is relying on current me to step up and think big-picture. After all, someday future me will be current me......and I deserve better than to reap the consequences of my past self's selfishness.

Here's a little trick I often think about. When I'm about to make a decision, financial or otherwise, I ask myself what future me will think of it. If I don't like the answer, I should consider making a different decision.

Treat future you well......they will soon be current you.

Never Waste a Perfectly Good Mistake

In a sobering coaching moment, I recently explained to a client that their investing decisions have cost them handily. They asked me how much we're talking about, so I did some calculations. Though it's a rough estimation, it's safe to say they've lost at least $25,000 so far. They were livid. Worse, their financial advisor is a family member. What this family member did to them wasn't explicitly immoral, but rather "normal." Normal in the sense it's what most people are doing.....which is terrible. They were sick about it, and rightfully so.

But as I love to say, let's not waste a perfectly good mistake. Yes, they lost out on +/- $25,000. There's no way to reverse that. However, that pales in comparison to what they will potentially lose in the future. By my estimation, they will lose a minimum of $1M in the decades to come if they stay on this same path. It's an expensive mistake, but that singular mistake will ironically be the springboard to them doing so much better. That mistake was transformational......in the best way.

I also think back to my own journey. Specifically, when I received the humbling of a lifetime when the Great Financial Crisis struck us. I was $236,000 in debt, on the verge of losing my job, and had limited options. I was blessed with the opportunity to keep my job (by moving states), which gave me a second chance to do this financial stuff right. That mistake was costly, but it was ironically the springboard to a better life. That mistake was transformational.....in the best way. I still carry some of that pain, but I also carry a ton of gratitude with it.

I don't know what mistakes you've made, are making, or will make in the future, but I know they are coming. Some of them will be mild, but others will be costly. I hope they don't cost you as much as they cost this young couple or the younger version of me, but whatever they are, I hope you use it for good. Learn from it. Be humbled by it. Grow from it. Let it shift your perspective. See it through a different lens. Share it with others. Be better as a result of it. Regardless of how bad the mistake was, more good can come from it than bad......if we allow it.

We can't avoid mistakes altogether, but we can use them as a force for good. Never waste a perfectly good mistake!

A Resolution to Eliminate Resolutions

I used to be a New Year's resolution guy. I love beginnings, endings, seasons, clean slates, and fresh starts. There's something so alluring about the idea of the blank canvas of a new year. 

The key word is "used to." Somewhere along the journey, I started looking around (and in the mirror) and realized most resolutions were a bunch of crap. Not the idea behind the resolution, but rather the execution of it. Do you ever go to a gym during the first few weeks of January? It's absolutely packed. It's filled with people you've never seen before. But by March, most of those people will be gone, and the gym will be normal again. I'm not criticizing. Heck, I've been one of those January-through-March gym people before. 

It's not that I don't think there's value in wanting these things. Whether it's going to the gym, eating better, paying off debt, or any number of respectable goals, they are inherently good. The problem, however, is the resolution part. A resolution is just a shinier version of a wish. There's no follow-through, no execution, and no discipline. It's just an unlikely dream that will quickly whither. 

So what's the alternative? Simply give up and not even try? No way! Not even close. We should be clear with ourselves about what we're trying to accomplish. But instead of focusing on the outcome, we should focus on the little things that help bring the desired outcome to life. 

Let's use paying off debt as an example. Let's say I have $18,000 of student loan debt that I want to pay off this year. Instead of simply resolving to pay it off, I need to ask myself what must happen to bring it to fruition. Here's how I'd process it:

• First, I need to commit to creating, executing, and tracking a budget each month. This is the tool that unlocks our potential. 

• Second, I need to break down the desired outcome into bite-sized chunks. $18,000 divided by 12 months equals $1,500/month. I don't need to pay off $1,500 every month, but I need to average $1,500/month over the year. 

• Third, I need to assess my financial life this month to determine how much (and from where) I can find $1,500+ to throw towards the debt. It may already be there, but if not, what options do I have? Extra paychecks? Tax refund? Bonus? Side hustles? Gifts?

• Fourth, I need to follow through with the plan. Execute this month well. Nail it.

• Fifth, I need to celebrate the small wins along the way. If I pay off a small debt, I'll celebrate by going out to dinner. When I pay off another, I'll treat myself to something cool. Always celebrate. 

• Sixth, I need to remember my why. Getting out of debt alone isn't enough. What's my why? 

Oddly enough, when we focus on the small behaviors, the big dreams come to life. Go get it this year! You got this! Happy New Year!

It’s Possible…..If You Believe

I recently met with a young couple who are frustrated with their finances. They are early in their careers with lots of potential, but with one elephant-in-the-room problem: a ton of student loan debt. $60,000 of student loan debt. They've paid some of it off, but it feels daunting to them. If they just make the minimum payments, it will be gone in eight years......but that idea sucks.

"We'd like to pay it off in two years, but we know that's not a reasonable goal." They are right. It's not a reasonable goal. It's an absurd goal. Everyone in their life agrees, too. There's no shortage of people who tell them to quit trying to pay it off. It's not possible, they say. It will take forever, they are told.

Their challenge to me was to develop a plan to get the debt paid off as quickly as possible......whatever that timeline looks like. Paying off debt (as well as other financial ventures) requires creativity. Nothing is black and white. Rather, we need to think outside the box, take inventory of all the different tools in our lives, and find ways to create something beautiful with them.

Here's the end of the story. This couple can pay off this $60,000 in nine months. NINE! Yes, less than one year. They chuckled at the absurdity of my pitch, waiting for the punchline. But there was no punchline. I was being serious. Over the next 10 minutes, I outlined all the tools they had available to them. Piece by piece, we chipped away at the timeline, one month at a time. When I was done, they looked at each other, then back to me, and the wife said, "That actually seems doable. Are you sure the math is right?"

There's one important ingredient that's needed for them to succeed. They actually need to believe it's possible. If they do, it can happen. If they don't, it can't. The belief makes all the difference in the world. This is what sets some people apart from the rest. They have the absurdity to believe something is possible when the rest of the world just shakes their heads and rolls their eyes.

Two ideas come from this. First, be someone who believes. Not blindly believing, but someone who gives yourself permission to dream and plan, then the courage to act. Second, surround yourself with people who believe. People who believe in you. People who believe in your dreams. People who believe in the impossible. Those people will lift you up on the days when your own belief might start to wain.

It's possible.....if you believe.

The Secret Behind the Curtain

We recently introduced our kids to The Wizard of Oz. One of my favorite scenes is when the great and powerful Oz is outed. Until that moment, he's a larger-than-life figure with great power and status. However, there's a moment when Dorothy and her posse get a glimpse of what's actually going on behind the curtain. Turns out, Oz was leveraging technology to make himself look bigger and more powerful than he actually was.

"Travis, how do people afford to live like this?!?!" This is a question that I get at least once per week. I've been asked this question for years, but it's probably ramped up 4-fold in the last 12-18 months. At the heart of the question is a mix of frustration, bewilderment, and voyeurism. Regular people trying to navigate this difficult financial season can't wrap their heads around how everyone around them are buying nice cars, upgrading their houses, affording elaborate trips, and revamping their wardrobes. I often wonder the same thing as I look around and see the madness unfolding in every direction. How in the world do people afford this? Are they harvesting cash from their money tree? Do they all have ridiculously high-paying jobs? Do they have tens of thousands of cash saved in the bank or under their mattress? No, no, and no.

The answer is usually relatively simple. You want in on the secret? I'll tell you if you promise not to tell anyone. **Ok, this is my whisper voice.** Debt. Debt is the fuel bringing all this action to life. Debt is the secret sauce.

It's kinda like the great and powerful Oz. From the outside, it seems like everyone around us is freaking loaded. Unlimited money to do whatever they want. Cars, houses, trips, clothes.....you name it! Also, like Oz, they are using leverage to make themselves seem richer and more successful than they actually are. Except their leverage isn't technology.....it's debt. Debt allows people to afford things they'd never be able to afford otherwise. Debt is the key to (temporarily) unlocking all of life's trappings.

I insert the word "temporarily" because it's just that, temporary. At some point, the music has to stop. We've reached a point in our culture where credit card, auto, mortgage, and student loan debt are nearing all-time highs. The ride up the mountain is pretty fun while ratcheting up the debt. It's exciting, fun, and seemingly sexy. However, there's only so much slack available before it's time to pay the piper. That time is upon us.

People have enjoyed the ride for a good decade, and now they are about to be exposed like Oz was. I've seen behind many curtains over the years. Some of the best-looking curtains contain the ugliest messes behind them.

The curtain you're most jealous of? You probably don't want what's actually behind it. All is not as it appears. Remember, the shinier the curtain, the harder it's trying to hide what's behind it.

Recovering Alcoholics Don’t Live Above Bars

Over the past few weeks, I've spent time with several friends who are celebrating various sobriety milestones. Drugs, alcohol, and tobacco, to name a few. Each of their stories is remarkable in its own way. They involve pain, consequences, and redemption. Woven through each of these amazing stories are some general truths. One such truth is that the disease is never entirely gone. Each day, they risk relapsing. To combat this, everyone must set clear and non-negotiable boundaries about what they do, where they go, and who they interact with. Or, as one close friend in recovery puts it, "Recovering alcoholics don't live above bars." 

Let's shift gears to one of my clients. This couple spent the majority of their adult lives deeply in debt. They were especially susceptible to credit cards. However, after having their life, work, and marriage nearly ruined, they had enough. Rock bottom was hit, and I was called into the situation. 

What this couple did was nothing short of remarkable. They committed to a plan, practiced discipline, executed with aggression, and slowly (but surely) paid off every single penny of debt. Just the credit card debt alone was $75,000. Crazy, I know! They achieved a massive accomplishment, and their life transformed in many ways. 

Amid their debt payoff journey, I repeatedly begged them to cancel their credit cards. It was a point of contention between us, but I would gladly die on that hill. I'm not usually this firm with clients, but I could feel the risk. Here's what happened. While I was pleading with them to cancel the credit cards, they had other voices speaking into their life:

• "You'll be fine if you're just responsible with them."

• "Don't pass up on the free points."

• "Just pay them off each month." 

• "Just keep the lower interest rate ones."

• "If you cancel them, it will hurt your credit score."

Perhaps you know where this is headed. This couple continued to carry these little pieces of plastic with them. The same pieces of plastic that nearly ruined their life and sabotaged their marriage. The same little cards that caused so much pain and suffering. They were the equivalent of recovering alcoholics living above a bar. 

About 18 months after paying off all that debt, they hit a rough patch. Stress in the marriage, a few minor emergencies, and a few desires that needed to be scratched. Within months, they ran their credit cards back up to $50,000. Utter devastation. There's no happy ending here.....yet. That may come in the future, but today, it looks like a lot of pain, suffering, and relational stress. 

What's the takeaway? I think it's two-fold. First, we need to identify our weaknesses and protect ourselves from them. That may mean canceling credit cards, freezing our credit, or avoiding stores (or websites) that overly tempt us. Second, love people enough to be honest with them. This couple's loved ones absolutely screwed them. Let's be better for the people we love! They deserve it.

Celebrate the Wins

Like millions of Americans, this one particular couple has a ton of debt. Frankly, it feels overwhelming. It's the type of debt that feels suffocating and can paralyze you from even knowing where to begin.

However, unlike millions of Americans, this couple has a plan. More importantly, they have the conviction that their plan can and will work. One year in, and so far so good. They've already paid off a half dozen small debts and are moving on to some larger ones.

They are on a challenging journey, no doubt. Nothing about paying off a ton of debt is easy, which is why very few families actually do it. It takes discipline, patience, delayed gratification, and a whole lot of motivation.

Whenever someone tackles this sort of endeavor, I always give one particular tip. Celebrate the wins. All the wins. When you pay off a small debt, celebrate small. When you pay off a large debt, celebrate large. But always celebrate. Maybe it's dinner at a nice restaurant. Maybe it's a weekend away. Maybe it's a trip to the spa. Maybe it's ______ (you fill in the blank). But always celebrate!

It sounds counter-intuitive to spend money on wants when trying to pay off debt, but we need to zoom out and look at the big picture. If we stay 100% laser-focused and never celebrate, there's a high likelihood we'll burn out and possibly quit. This is an arduous journey, after all. Those little celebrations can be the refresher we need to keep fighting.

I think back to when Sarah and I were on our $236,000 debt payoff journey. It took us 4.5 years to achieve it. We celebrated every single win. If we hadn't, one of us would have broken down on the journey. The most noteworthy celebration was an amazing trip to Europe. Weird, I know. We were about 12 months away from completing our debt payoff journey, but we were exhausted. We were fighting so aggressively that we were practically burning ourselves out. That's when we decided to take drastic measures.

What ensued was a two-week trip to five countries, where we created lifelong memories. It set us back by about two months in our debt payoff journey, but it's just what we needed. One could argue we should have gotten out of debt first, but the counter-argument is that we might not have made it without that break. So, we celebrated!

This is yet another example of why money is NEVER about money. It's always about something bigger. If Sarah and I had stuck by the pure math and made it solely about money, we might have burned out and failed at our mission. Instead, we took this trip, made unforgettable memories, and successfully completed our $236,000 journey just over a year later. I will always love and cherish that story.

Always celebrate those wins! It may be the make-or-break in achieving your goals....and it's fun!

___ Months For the Rest of Your Life

Though I share a lot of stories on this blog and on the podcast, not all stories are created equal. Some stick with me, or dare I say, haunt me. One such story involves a couple I met with nearly a decade ago. This couple had been struggling with debt for the entirety of their marriage. You could cut the tension with a knife. The financial stress of the debt altered their life decisions and impaired their marriage. In short, they were miserable.

By the end of the meeting, I had created a clear, simple, and achievable plan to get them debt-free in about 18 months. It wouldn't be easy, but I knew they could do it. I assumed they would be excited about the prospect of freeing themselves from these financial handcuffs, but there was a silence in the room. After a few moments, the wife chimes in, "I'm not giving up 18 months of my life." "It's 18 months for the rest of your life! You'll have more than 50 years on the other side of the debt," I replied. She simply wasn't having it. They weren't going to cut back on their lifestyle.....period. They eventually walked out of the room, discouraged and defeated.

Five or six years later, I ran into them in public. It was the first time we had a real conversation since they left that meeting. When I asked them how things were going, they opened up about how things had only worsened. Not only had they not freed themselves from the debt, but they were in deeper and even more miserable. They both hated their jobs and felt stuck in many areas of life. They didn't want to "give up" 18 months of their life, but what they were subjecting themselves to was a far worse sentence than a little sacrifice and discipline for 1.5 years. I think about them a lot.

I was reminded of them a few nights ago when meeting an awesome young couple. This couple also has a bunch of debt. It feels intense, overwhelming, and life-altering. However, there's a different kind of energy about them. They are approaching it with determined excitement. When I said, "It's ____ months for the rest of your life," they responded with genuine excitement. What they are about to do will be so simple, yet so hard. But they are up for the challenge. Please pray for this young couple and their journey. I have a feeling they are about to write an amazing story. It will be a grind for this season of life, but that good work will unlock the next 60+ years in a way they can't yet understand. I'm grateful to play a small role in their journey.

Encourage the young people in your life. They need it, and they deserve it. They aren't victims of circumstance. They aren't condemned to a less-than-life. They aren't slated for failure. They just need to know it's possible.

When Responsibilities Collide

As expected, I received a ton of pushback after my credit card post a few days ago. The number one response I get whenever I discuss this topic is the following: people just need to be responsible with credit cards. Another version: Credit cards can be a useful and beneficial tool IF they are used responsibly. What does it mean to be "responsible?" Here's the definition:

Responsible: having an obligation to do something, or having control over or care for someone, as part of one's job or role.

This makes a lot of sense. When we use a credit card, we need to be responsible by making payments on time and paying back what we've borrowed. We have an obligation to do so. I'm tracking. I believe the vast majority of Americans understand this responsibility. When people pull out the plastic and swipe it, they are well aware of the obligations and responsibilities at play. 

Life is full of responsibilities. Paying the credit card bill is a biggie. There are a bunch of other critical responsibilities on the table as well:

• Pay the mortgage/rent

• Put groceries on the table

• Clothe our growing kids

• Maintain and fuel our vehicles

• Health insurance and co-pays for medical services

• Ensure we have working utilities such as water and electricity

So many responsibilities!

When life is going well, we find the balance between the many obligations in our household. Shelton, food, clothing, transportation, medical care, and a long list of other needs (plus hopefully some wants). 

But what happens when life doesn't go smoothly? What happens when the car breaks down and we need to repair it? What happens when a kid gets sick or breaks an arm? What happens when the furnace goes out and it's too cold in our house? What happens when we lose a job and the income associated with it?

The moment we face tensions in life, our responsibilities collide. People don't get behind on their credit card bills because they are being irresponsible. Rather, it's because they ARE trying to be responsible. If we have the choice between eating and not eating, we're pulling that credit card out. If the furnace is broken and our family is getting cold, we're using whatever means possible to get it working again. If the car breaks down and it's the only way we're able to get ourselves to work, you better believe we're getting that repair done. If the landlord or mortgage company starts asking for their monthly payment (or else!), we sure as heck will step up and make that payment. 

In those moments, we have choices to make. Difficult, painful, and often embarrassing choices. And as I always say, credit cards are the path of least resistance. Not to be irresponsible with debt, but to be responsible for providing our family's basic needs. 

Does that context change your perspective? I hope so. But if not, I still love you and am grateful for your willingness to read each day. 

The Path of Least Resistance

As a kid, I was fascinated by the section in science class where they showed images of how rivers changed shape over time. As sediment is carried and eventually dropped, the speed and direction of the water flow shifts, carving a different path into the earth. The water constantly follows the path of least resistance.

Human behavior is much the same way. Whenever we have an array of options in front of us, we're likely to select the path of least resistance. We can get out of bed, drive to the gym, and get a workout in......or just stay in bed for another hour. The path of least resistance. We can prepare lunch the night before work.....or we can just grab a sandwich at the deli next to our office. The path of least resistance.

This is one of the many reasons I suggest clients cancel their credit cards. This suggestion is often met with eye-rolling and a staunch defense that includes something like "I'm always responsible with it." These comments are typically combined with defenses revolving around the benefit of points, the fact they pay them off every month, the perception they are safer, and the fact they are building credit.

One problem. Eventually, the path of least resistance will come into play. Two families in my life are living this reality as we speak. I've suggested for years that both these families cancel their credit cards. One family doesn't even use them....hasn't for years. It's "just in case," and that's what I'm afraid of.

As I always say, credit cards seem like our friend.....until they become our worst nightmare. Fast forward a few years, and both families are facing financial challenges. It's a combination of medical, auto, house, and job-related situations. Both of these families handle their money relatively well. They've made good decisions and are going in the right direction. One problem, though. They still have active credit cards. Just like the sediment in rivers, financial challenges will cause us to seek the path of least resistance. After all, pain hurts. Stress sucks. Tension puts a strain on relationships. There's a simple way around all that. It's the path of least resistance. Out comes the credit card.

We're going to use it just this one time, though. Well, maybe just the things we need. Then it shifts to putting everything on there because seeing our savings dwindling is scary. But just this month. Next month we'll get on top of things and back to normal. Except the path of least resistance didn't actually make this better. It just dropped more sediment, causing us to push deeper into the path of least resistance. Fast forward a few months, and our reality looks much different. We went from the family who said, "credit cards are great if we use them responsibly," to another statistic. Tens of thousands of dollars in expensive debt, in the snap of your fingers.

My heart breaks for what these families are now dealing with.