Driving Value From Our Lives

After some of my recent lamenting about repeated and annoying car maintenance expenses, I had a fun conversation with a buddy. He found entertainment in my recent woes, as he and I have had a years-long back-and-forth about cars. His position, which he happily shared with me in this most recent conversation, is that it's cheaper to buy a newer and more reliable vehicle than the "beaters" I buy. At the heart of his argument is the assertion that any money I save on buying a cheaper car is given right back through my maintenance expenses.

Today, I want to illustrate these contrasting viewpoints with a real-life comparison. We've owned Sarah's Toyota Highlander for approximately 72 months. It was seven years old when we bought it, so it's now 13 years old and has a ton of miles. We paid $15,000 for it, and its private party resale value is approximately $7,000 (according to KBB). That works out to an $8,000 erosion of value, or $111/month. On top of that, we've spent about $9,000 maintaining and fixing it (or $125/month). Adding these two numbers together, this vehicle has cost us approximately $236/month for the last six years.

Now, my friend's scenario. He originally purchased a new SUV almost six years ago. He paid $61,000 for it, and it's worth approximately $28,000 today (KBB private party value). Therefore, his vehicle cost him roughly $458/month over the last six years. This doesn't include maintenance; he said there hasn't been any (not sure I believe that).

Even though we've spent around $9,000 to fix and maintain our vehicle over the years, it cost us roughly half of what it cost him. This $222/month discrepancy equals a $16,000 difference over the six-year period. However, there's also one major component missing here. I can save up and write a $15,000 check to buy a vehicle, but the only way for him to acquire a $61,000 vehicle is to finance it. His $458/month cost doesn't include maintenance OR interest from his loan payments. And it's a big loan! That's opportunity cost. Every month, he's eating those payments instead of using that money for something more meaningful.

The X-factor in all of this is depreciation. Generally speaking, vehicles lose roughly 15% of their value each year. He will lose 15% and I'll lose 15%, but not all 15% losses are created equal. When he purchased his vehicle, he was losing 15% of $61,000 ($9,100 loss in year 1) and I was losing 15% of $15,000 ($2,300 loss in year 1). Those losses add up over time! In the same six-year span, I lost $8,000 of value and he lost $33,000.

Yeah, I've been hit with a bunch of car maintenance expenses recently. But we need to zoom out and see the bigger picture. He lost as much value in his "reliable" vehicle in year 1 as I've spent on maintenance in six years. It's simple math, but it's powerful....and it changes everything.

Cars are important, but they shouldn't impair or impede other aspects of life that are far more meaningful.

Just Move One Piece

Finn recently decided to be a chess player. It was an unexpected development in our household, but I dig it. I'm not good at chess, but it's fun to compete with him and watch his little brain work. In the first few games, I had to remind him, "just move one piece." You move one, I move one.

With as complicated as our finances can become, there are a lot of moving pieces. Sometimes, families feel the need to adjust every number every month. They try to focus on all the categories and prioritize everything, then get overwhelmed. Instead, I encourage people to "just move one piece." If there are one or two categories that we need to get better control of, focus more dollars to, or gain more intentionality on, put your energy there.

We shouldn't try to do everything. If we can hone in on one or two things this month, then maybe we can grab another next month. Music lessons and cell phone replacements are two categories for us. After a trial run for drum and electric guitar lessons for the kids, it's time for Sarah and I to build that expense into our budget for the foreseeable future. That's a priority for us, and we need to create margin and consistency with it.

Second, Sarah's phone is in hospice care. We need to make quick decisions, or she'll be living in 1994 again. Therefore, we'll lean hard into this category and find a way to replace her phone quickly.

It's the power of the just moving one (or two) piece(s). We can't move the needle on every goal, every category, and every habit. But we can move the needle on a few, then next time a few more, then eventually a few more.

As one more visual, let's say you have five different priorities, each costing $500. Let's also pretend you have $500 of monthly discretionary income after all needs, wants, and giving have been accounted for. If you prioritize them equally and try to do everything at once, you'll contribute $100 to each of them. At that pace, it will take five months to achieve a win. On the flip side, if you decide to prioritize just one (and contribute all $500 to it), you accomplish a goal in the first month. If you do the same in the second month, you achieve another goal. Constant momentum.

Many financial situations in our lives involve this principle. If we just move one piece, we can move the needle quickly while gaining confidence from the wins.

The new month is quickly approaching. What one (or two) piece(s) will you move?

The Claws Tighten

I introduced yesterday's post by vaguely teasing an experience in KC, which triggered my introspection about status. Instead of sharing about what actually happened, I invited you to take a look in the mirror and conduct your own introspection about where status might have its claws in you. Thank you very much for the feedback. Your answers proved one major point I wanted to make. We all have our own. Here are yours:

• Income

• Job Title

• Golf handicap

• How grandkids are doing

• How many grandkids you have

• The boards you sit on

• The neighborhood or town you live in

• Clothes

• What age you get to retire

• Country club membership

• The make and model of the car you drive

• The restaurants you frequent

• The vacations you take 

• How much time you get off from work

• What careers your kids have

• What colleges your kids go to

• The notoriety of your business

• The house you live in

• The activities and teams your kids participate in

• The success of your favorite sports team

• The watches you wear

• The beauty treatments you regularly get

• How noble your chosen career is

That's quite the list! Indeed, each of these is a form of status that has the potential to get its claws in us. 

Now, my story. While driving with my family in KC, we weren't far from my old house. It's the first house I owned, which I lived in from age 26-28 (until my company shut down and I experienced an involuntary relocation to Iowa). I thought it would be fun to take the kids to see the house where their dad lived when he was a young adult. 

As we approached the house, I was flooded with nostalgia. Lots of memories danced through my head. That's also the moment I realized how much houses used to be my status symbol. When I purchased that house, it was bigger, newer, and nicer than I probably should have bought. It was pretty sweet. It was a great house, and still is (from the looks of it). I cared an awful lot about what that house said about me. It was my status. The claws of status tightened and caused me to make questionable choices in the pursuit of that status....and would for years to come. 

Here's the irony. 15 years later, more accomplished and financially sound, I'm living in a house that’s inferior to the one I bought when I was 26. I've overcome the claws of status!

Or have I? The truth is, I don't think I have. In the past few years, I've realized that I still unhealthily find status in my house. While I'm cool living nearly anywhere, I recognize that I don't enjoy hosting people in my current house. Why? Status, most likely. Or perhaps more daily, the lack of status of my house. I find worth and status in my residence, which is a toxic trait. I'm grateful I can make practical and wise decisions around housing now, and I’m so glad we live where we live, but it bugs me that the claws of status are still tight. I'm disappointed in myself, but now I know what room in my mind must be cleaned next. 

As G.I. Joe taught me as a kid, "And knowing is half the battle." 

The Claws of Status

I just returned from a quick 24-hour trip to KC to celebrate my niece's 13th birthday. I took the 350Z and made a little convertible road trip out of it. It was an exhausting but fun little adventure. Yesterday, I had an experience that triggered today’s topic. I'm not going to share the exact story yet, as I want you to think about the topic through your own lens first. 

Here's the idea I was pondering on my drive home last night: Our human pursuit of status is like an animal getting its claws into us. Once it takes hold—even just slightly—its natural instinct is to clamp down harder. 

The crazy thing about status, though, is that each of us uses a different version of it to define success. Status comes in all shapes and sizes. Power, income, possessions, influence.....this list is endless. We don't all succumb to all of them, but rather there are likely one or two that are particularly alluring for you. 

What makes status a unique feature in our lives is that it is extrinsic. In other words, it's present on the outside. Status is something that other people know we have. It's a signal. It's a means for comparison. It's a way that I can exhibit to you that I am ________. That blank represents how I want you to feel about me. 

In a world of apples, oranges, and bananas, status is our simplified way of creating apples-to-apples comparisons between us and someone else. It's the measuring stick of something we want to be measured. It's a scorecard to determine who is winning the game. 

So, before I delve into my story and my own thoughts on status and how it's situated in my own life, I have a question for you today. If you could put your finger on it, what is something that did or does give you status? Is there something particular that has its claws in you? If you're honest with yourself, do you find yourself pursuing a certain piece of status in your own journey? If so, can you please reply to this e-mail or drop a comment on the website? I'd love to hear your feedback. I'm not here to judge. I'm just as imperfect as anyone. What I'm looking for is sincerity and transparency, and that's what I offer to you in return. Tomorrow's post will be a follow-up piece, including some of your feedback. 

Have a great day!

Side note: I'll be giving a message to a young adult group at a local church tonight. I'm going somewhere I've never gone in a public talk before (content-wise), so please keep me in your prayers as I try to deliver it crisply and confidently. I'll elaborate more about it on the blog soon!

One At a Time

Yesterday, I faced the same challenge many of my clients regularly encounter. After a few weeks of travel, sickness, and the Northern Vessel car crash sequel, my personal finances have taken a back seat to life. This is a natural consequence when life gets busy. It's not a matter of if, but when. Life WILL get crazy, and when it does, our finances may be a temporary victim. 

Upon finally having a little spare time on my hands yesterday, I popped open my budgeting app to see what things looked like. Much to my despair, I was met with 68 uncategorized transactions. Crap! Few things cause anxiety and overwhelmingness quite like realizing you've fallen that far behind on tracking your finances. 

At that moment, I triggered my motto, which I find helpful when these anxious feelings creep in: "One at a time." I can't categorize 68 transactions at once, but I can categorize one....then one.....then one. Here's how my brain works when starting my one-at-a-time process:

• First, I start with the most recent transactions, as they are most likely fresh in my mind. I quickly categorize each item that's immediately familiar. 

• Second, I scan the transactions for vendors that are obvious categories. MidAmerican Energy is electricity. PureBarre is Sarah's fitness. Leaning Tower Pizza is dining out. Simple and clear. 

• Third, I choose a vendor that has multiple transactions popping up, and systemmatically knock out each transaction. Amazon is a great example. I had about a half dozen Amazon transactions. I logged into my Amazon account, scrolled through my recent orders (to determine what categories each transaction entailed), and categorized each transaction accordingly. I repeated this process for Target and Wal-Mart transactions by using their respective apps. 

• Fourth, after working through the first three steps above, my unallocated transactions shrunk from 68 to 15. These remaining transactions take a bit more work. They may involve a quick conversation with Sarah, an e-mail search for receipts, or logging into my bank account to see if there's an expanded transaction description. These are never fun, but it's a lot easier when there are only a handful of them. 

One at a time. This is such an important perspective when dealing with our finances. Things can get complex and overwhelming. It's the nature of money and numbers, which is why so many people flounder or just give up. But when we take a one-at-a-time approach, nothing is overly intimidating. Just keep moving forward. Sure, we'd love to be sprinting every step of the way.....but even a crawl is still progress. Putting one foot in front of the other.

Apply this to all areas of money—heck, apply it to all areas of life! Break things down into digestible chunks. Make it approachable. Create opportunities for small wins. Execute. Repeat.

It feels good to get caught up on my budget tracking and again have clarity on where we stand. I'm sure I'll get derailed again at some point, but when I do, one at a time!

Can’t Have the Good Without the Bad

Do you ever wish you could just wave a magic wand and get rid of all the junk that's bringing you down? The frustrations, pain, suffering, failures, and setbacks. Life would be so much easier if we could just remove the crap. Unfortunately, it's a package deal. We HAVE to take the bad with the good. It's all part of the deal. To take it a step further, we can't have the good without the bad. Without the bad, the good isn't good. The challenge is what makes the good so much sweeter. 

If you've been following along this week, we've recently had a mess of a time with Northern Vessel. The second car crash into our shop in nine months is a gut punch like no other. Further, the story behind what actually happened is getting weirder and more unsavory as the pieces come together. I still can't share details, but I will as soon as we're able. Needless to say, we're faced with monumental challenges as we work to rebuild our space, serve our customers, and ensure our team is healthy and taken care of. A big piece of me wishes I could wave my magic wand and just undo this part of our life. 

On the flip side, the good is so good. We're in a rhythm that's hard to explain. Yes, the closure of our shop hurts. We've only two months removed from having reconstruction completed from the last crash. We're finally into the groove we've always wanted......then crash! However, we aren't defined by our setbacks and the incident that recently occurred. We've been able to fulfill our obligations to LifeTime Fitness, which carries our products in the Des Moines location. Yesterday was also our weekly farmer's market. We've spent the past three weeks growing, learning, and tweaking, culminating in yesterday's affair. After watching it all beautifully come together, we sold 100 gallons of our signature oat milk cold brew latte in just over four hours. We ran out of product with about 40 minutes remaining in the market. More than 1,200 people. Nearly 5 coffees a minute for 4+ hours. The team was locked in, the lines flowed, and the vibe was right. 

Despite all the pain and suffering, it was beautiful. We can't have the good without the bad. It's a package deal. As I've spent my last week working through so many challenges in my life and businesses, I repeatedly wanted to wave my magic wand. But then, I catch myself. These are the challenges that make it all worth it. 

I think back to the $236,000 of debt I used to have. That was painful, but the beauty of working through it was so satisfying. 

I think back to my 20-year career and all the ups and downs. Some of it was painful, but that only adds to the beauty of where it's come. 

I think about all my clients who are fighting their own battles. I don't want to wave my magic wand to make their struggles go away. Doing so would rob them of the beauty of what's about to happen. 

We can't have the good without the bad. 

Bypass the Gatekeeper

Earlier this month, I told the story about how a neighbor kid was walking up and down the street, asking homeowners if he could mow their yard. I love this kid's entrepreneurial spirit. In my post, I said, "To me, this young man exemplifies the crazy new world order we live in. We used to rely on gatekeepers to decide if we were worthy of the job. Today, we're only limited by our creativity and willingness to put ourselves out there."

One blog reader responded with a question, and it's haunted me (in a good way) ever since. I responded to her with my acknowledgement of receipt, but still haven't provided her with substantive insights. I still owe her a meaningful response, but this post is meant to hash through one related idea. I so deeply appreciate her situation and the heart behind it, and she deserves something far better than she's gotten.

I'll paraphrase her question: "How do we bypass the gatekeepers?" 

Gatekeepers are everywhere! Gatekeepers decide if we get an interview. Gatekeepers decide if we are hired. Gatekeepers decide how much we'll make. Gatekeepers decide if we're worthy. Gatekeepers decide if we're deserving. We've all spent our lives dealing with gatekeepers. Heck, some of us ARE gatekeepers! 

In the old world order, most paths involved gatekeepers.....especially for younger people. Our fate rested in the hands of a gatekeeper, deciding if we were worthy of an opportunity. 

In our modern world (with the technology at our hands), though, we have virtually unlimited paths....many of which don't involve gatekeepers. Take the story of the young man mowing yards. He didn't appeal to a gatekeeper to initiate his business. 

It can be an overwhelming concept to implement, but it's also shockingly simple. Here's how I perceive it:

1. Identify a problem.

2. Offer a solution to fix the problem.

3. Receive compensation for fixing the problem.

4. Serve people well enough to earn the right to fix more problems (for the same people or the people they tell)

5. Repeat.

This is the model the young mower is following. 

1. He identified a problem: people in his neighborhood are busy and either don't want to mow, or don't have the time to mow. 

2. He has a solution to the problem: his time and a mower in tow. 

3. He gets compensated for fixing people's problems: He charged me $30 for the privilege. 

4. He earned the right to do it again. I loved his attitude and willingness to help me out quickly in a pinch, so I asked if I could put his contact information in my phone for future use. I will also advocate for him if anyone else in the neighborhood asks. 

5. He's come back multiple times since!

Instead of asking people for permission, we could seek problems to solve. That's where our creativity and unique perspective kick in. I recently met a teen who makes a simple product, sells it on Etsy, and makes $2,000/month. No gatekeeper. Creative. Fixing problems. Being compensated for the privilege. 

What problems do you see around you? 

How can you fix those problems? 

What's it worth to people?

Bypass the gatekeeper!

A Prescription For Generosity

The last few days have been quite stressful on my end. Between work obligations, travel, pain experienced by people I care about, our recent NV debacle (again), and sickness, my stress level is at 100. Needless to say, I was a mess yesterday. There's a partial cure for this type of stress, though: Generosity! Knowing I was hurting, I did exactly what I knew would help alleviate what ails me. I looked for opportunities to be generous. 

Throughout the day, I stumbled upon two opportunities to bless someone. Each was fun. Each made a difference (I hope). Each helped make me feel better. I've spent years thinking about why generosity oddly helps alleviate all sorts of troubles. Here's what I've come up with:

• When we give, we turn our focus from ourselves to someone else. 

• Science has proven that giving makes us happy.

• When we give, it's a subconscious signal that we have enough....and we'll be ok.

• Giving is a reminder of a broader calling.

No, my problems didn't magically go away. As I'm writing this, I'm still stuck with the same set of circumstances. Nothing is fixed. However, I feel peace and calm. I feel content. I see the bigger picture. It's a mess, but a purposeful mess. 

Give generosity a try. This is my formal prescription for you. When you're having a sucky day, find an opportunity to be generous. When you're stressed or overwhelmed, give. When it all feels like too much, take a moment to serve someone else. It makes a difference. 

Today is a new day! I hope it's better for me, and I hope it's better for you, too. Either way, it's also an amazing opportunity to bless someone. Keep your eyes open and your purpose clear. Have a great day!

Deja Vu, But the Worst Kind

After publishing the recent "see it through their eyes" post, I knew today's post would be about my recent Chicago Cubs game experience. The subject is deja vu, correlating Finn and Pax's first Cubs game with my own when I was their age. It was going to be a joyful, sentimental, and light-hearted piece. However, today's post is about a different kind of deja vu. 

Yesterday, shortly after publishing the blog, I received terrible news. It felt like a bad dream—deja vu, but the worst kind. A group of people stole a car and barrelled into our Northern Vessel storefront.....again. As a refresher, this exact situation played out in August 2023. Four people were struck by the car; one was moderately injured, and three mildly so. It was a horrific scene, but we're glad no lives were lost. We re-opened a few days later, but it took over seven months to fully repair the damage. We've been at full strength for the last two months, and then yesterday happened. 

I won't go into details, as the police are still investigating, but it's not a pretty story. Fortunately, nobody was hurt, but the damage was severe. We again face a potentially long road to recovery. 

There is a silver lining, though. There will be another form of deja vu present. Just like last time, we will approach the situation with optimism, gratitude, and perseverance. We will come out of it stronger, more resilient, and as unified as ever. This is a perfect representation of life. It's beautiful, but will surely be met with challenges, pain, and trials. It's not supposed to be easy, and that is what makes it all the more fulfilling. 

We're grateful to serve those we serve, and we won't lose sight of our calling. It's all part of the story, even if it's the worst kind of deja vu. 

Stay safe, stay strong, and keep moving forward. 

The Bubbles We Live In

Yesterday was an amazing day for the Shelton family. We had lots of adventures, which were capped off with Finn and Pax's first-ever Cubs game. At the same time, though, friends, acquaintances, and colleagues back home were experiencing unspeakable destruction and pain. Storms rocked our metro, and tornados devastated families and communities. Multiple friends lost their homes (or parts of their homes) and are now left sorting through the debris. Here’s a before-and-after photo comparison of one street:

Truly devastating. I can’t fathom how people begin to pick up the pieces and move forward.

We all live in our own little bubbles. What we experience is largely correlated with what others around us are experiencing, while communities just a few hundred miles away live in their own unique bubbles. 

It's so easy to lose sight of what's beyond our bubble. What's inside our bubble feels like reality, while what happens in someone else's bubble feels like words on a screen; cold, distant, and unrelatable. 

While we can't fully remove ourselves from our respective bubbles, I think we're all called to keep our eyes on other bubbles. When our bubble is feeling good, someone else's is disastrous. When someone's is amazing, maybe that's when ours is hurting. Living open-handed with our eyes cast across the horizon at other people's bubbles allows us to be receptive to felt needs. When we can think and feel beyond what's right in front of us, we can serve a greater purpose and make the impact the world deserves from our influence and actions. 

I may re-read this post in the next few days and realize it's complete gibberish. Or, perhaps it's exactly what I needed to say. Only time will tell. If you were impacted by yesterday's storms, I'm so sorry. I'd love to help you in any way I can. Whatever bubble you're living in, I hope you keep your eyes open and ears attentive. Pain and suffering are universal features of life, but we each have the power to walk alongside others to help ease their burdens. I hope you find a way to bless someone today....whether they are in your bubble or somewhere outside it. 

Stay safe out there. 

Seeing It (Again) Through Their Eyes

Yesterday, our family embarked on our first post-school summer trip: Chicago! Having grown up not far west of Chicago, it's a city I've been to countless times. Though I love it, it doesn't have a "new" feeling anymore. However, it's Finn and Pax's first-ever time in Chicago, and it's been a real treat so far. Sensory overload at its finest. We grabbed some Chicago-style pizza, hit a massive candy store, and walked alongside Michigan Avenue and the river. Not too shabby for our first few hours in the city.

There's something different about being present for other people's first-time experiences, especially kids. It's almost like we get to experience it for the first time again. I felt like a little kid showing off my favorite toy. It was pure joy to show the boys a city that's been part of my life for as long as I can remember.

We're staying downtown, making a pilgrimage to Wrigley, catching a Blue Man Group show, scoping out The Bean, and spending some time at the Museum of Science and Industry. We'll have Italian Beefs, hot dogs, and probably enough ice cream to make President Biden blush. It won't be an inexpensive trip, but man, we'll be investing in memories. 

I've had many profoundly memorable experiences throughout my life. Seeing the Great Wall, exploring the Mongolian wilderness, wandering the streets of Hong Kong, country-hopping the Middle East, and adventuring through Europe. All of these memories are special to me. But there's nothing more special than experiencing something through another's eyes. It's the power of community and shared experiences. It's the bonding that happens. An unspeakable connection that we know will last a lifetime. 

Investing in memories is an amazing endeavor, but doing it alongside people we care about ratchets it up to a whole new level. I made my first trip to Wrigley when I was seven years old, then proceeded to visit it at least one time per year for the next 20 years. It holds a special place in my heart. Tonight, I get to take my own seven-year-olds to their first game at Wrigley. I can't wait to invest in those memories and watch the game through their eyes. It may be my 100th trip to Wrigley, but it might as well be my first.

Plug the Leaks

"We need to stop spending so much on dining out."

"We need to cut back on travel."

"We need to quit going to games."

These are three comments made to me in the past few weeks. They are from three separate clients, each with their own financial tensions. Things feel tight. There's not enough margin to keep the train on the track, never mind make financial progress. Their natural inclination is to cut back, which is fair. However, I think they are sniffing up the wrong tree. 

The first family's love language is food. Going out to eat is one of their biggest bucket-fillers. 

The second family's passion is travel. It's their #1 priority, and it fuels them.

The third family are avid sports fans. Watching their teams play is one of their unifying and family-centric hobbies. 

It's interesting how our instinct is often to cut back on the most prominent (and important) things in our lives. These families aren't alone! We all do it to some extent. I suspect one of the reasons we do this is because those prominent things are front and center; they are obvious.

Here's what I think. I think it's prudent for these three families to cut back. However, I think cutting back on these suggested categories would be counter-productive and possibly detrimental. Instead, I recommend they find the leaks.....and plug them. Oh, there are always leaks! They have them, you have them, and I have them. Expenses (big or small) that are either redundant or fail to add value to our lives. 

• A subscription for a streaming service that we don't watch. 

• A membership for a gym we don't even use. 

• Extra product that we won't use or will ultimately go bad. 

• A loan payment (plus insurance, maintenance, etc.) for a vehicle rarely driven.

Instead of indiscriminately cutting some of these families' most valuable expenditures, we looked for leaks. Here's what we found: One family found $300 of monthly leakage, another found $650, and the third found $1,700!!!

With very little effort, these families were able to recoup this cashflow in their monthly budget, which reduced their financial tension. It also prevented them from having to cut back on the things they value most. Huge wins!

Plugging the leaks is so powerful! Maybe you have some leaks. I suspect you do. I challenge you to find them, plug them, and use that found money for things that truly add value to your life!

Never Taking These For Granted

Last night, I had the honor of attending a friend's wedding. He's a young man I met in the Boundary Waters, and our friendship quickly grew. There's more to say about that relationship in a future post, but I want to focus on the wedding. 

During the ceremony, the pastor made a really insightful point. He directed the bride and groom to look into the audience, reminding them that this collection of individuals comprises all the most important people in their lives. And I was in that room! When the pastor framed it that way, what an incredible honor to be part of such a pivotal day in that couple's journey. 

It's a day and a moment etched in time. Someday, 30 years from now, when they celebrate their 30th anniversary, I'll reflect on being part of their beginning. And I hope I’m still a meaningful part of their life (and vice versa). To be valued and trusted to the extent I get to be part of their biggest day.....amazing! I never take that for granted. These are the types of things that cannot be purchased. No amount of money can create them. They are priceless moments that can only be the product of investing in relationships.

I’m so excited for the new bride and groom, and I had an absolute blast catching up with a few friends I haven’t seen in a long time. What a night!

In a life filled with so much pain, suffering, and turmoil, these little moments of joy and celebration are worth memorializing. They are worth cherishing. They are worth holding onto. 

Short and sweet today! Here's my challenge for you. Find the moments to cherish. Seek them out. Create them if you can. Don't take them for granted. Savor them. Etch them into your memory. Embrace them for the beauty they bring to your life. 

Parable of the Corncobs

Today's post is courtesy of blog reader Bobbi. Once in a while, Bobbi will bless me with an e-mail in reply to my daily posts. Sometimes she challenges me. Sometimes she encourages me. Sometimes she provides ideas. Recently, she shared a story that my Stepping Over Quarters post reminded her of. 

Bobbi's mom talks about how when she was growing up, they used to throw whole cobs of corn into the feedlot for the cattle. After the cattle had grazed the corn, the kids were responsible for picking up the bare cobs for use as fuel to heat the house during winter. Bobbi's mother explains that her strategy was to seek out the best cobs she could find. Her mother's response: "Don't step over cobs looking for cobs." In other words, don't disregard what's right in front of you in pursuit of what's in the future. 

That's beautiful, isn't it!?!? Man, I can't even tell you how many cobs I've stepped over in my pursuit of cobs. It's so easy to miss what's right in front of us. The future is full of wonder, optimism, and possibilities......but so is the present! If all we do is look ahead, we miss the beauty and meaning of what's right in front of us. 

Guilty as charged. You can take me to my cell, officer. How convicting. I can proudly say I've become much better in this area in the past several years, but I can still easily fall into this trap. I can expressly point out days I failed to embrace the moment, all because I was fixated on the days ahead. I regret that. Unfortunately, I can't get any do-overs. Fortunately, I can learn from my mistakes and hopefully avoid similar outcomes in the future. 

Here's my challenge today. Don't step over cobs looking for cobs. Embrace the present. Squeeze every ounce of meaning from it. Enjoy it for what it is. Tomorrow will be here soon enough. When it comes, we can enjoy that, too. 

Bobbi got me again, and today, I hope she gets you, too. Enjoy those cobs!

What Does Popcorn Smell Like?

Fun Fact: I don't have a sense of smell. I never have. It's hard to explain what that’s like. My brain can't even comprehend the basics of it. Here's an example:

Sarah: "This popcorn smells amazing!"

Me: "What does popcorn smell like?"

Sarah: "Like popcorn!"

Me: "But what does that smell like?"

Sarah: "Like warm butter." 

Me: "What does warm butter smell like?"

Sarah: "Like warm butter." 

Me: ..........

While Sarah did a terrible job explaining this concept to me, there was nothing she could have said for me to comprehend it. I don't know what I don't know, and no mere words will fill that gap for me. 

So many of the meaning over money principles are similar: obsessively pursuing work that matters, living without debt, experiences over things, giving sacrificially, among others. These concepts are easy to criticize and hard to internalize. Just like the smell of popcorn is so obvious to Sarah (and incomprehensible to me), the meaning over money concepts are obvious to me and many others (and incomprehensible to the majority of society). 

I'm not sure I'll ever experience the sensation of smell. It feels like a closed door that will never open. I don't know what I'm missing, to be honest. 

On the flip side, the door to meaning is open for all. Most people may not know what they are missing, but that's where we come in. We have the opportunity to live it out in front of people's eyes. Each day, we can show the world what it looks like to pursue meaning and take the road less traveled. It's going to look weird. It may get criticized. People may even laugh at us. Ultimately, it's worth it, and if we're lucky, it might inspire others to pursue it in their own journey. 

Don't Let You Bring You Down

Ugh, it happened again. Who am I kidding? It ALWAYS happens!

Yesterday, I had the honor of guesting on a podcast. It was a live recording with a few dozen people watching, and will be released on a broader scale in about six weeks. I look forward to sharing it with you when it gets officially published. 

I thought it went great.....until about five hours later. Then, it happened again....because it always happens. The self-talk started to creep in. Questions start dancing through my head:

• Did I talk too much?

• Did I make sense? 

• Did I adequately answer their questions?

• Did I drone on? 

• Did I bore them?

• Did I let them down? 

• Did I miss the social cues?

• Did I disrespectfully monopolize the time?

• Did I sound like an idiot?

Crap, this always happens! 

I used to seek ways to stop the self-talk from happening. How do I silence it? How do I shut it up? How do I kill it? Then, it dawned on me. I'm not sure I'll ever stop it, but perhaps that shouldn't be the goal. Instead, the mission shifted. Instead of trying to end the self-talk, I realized I needed to alter what I do with it. 

The way I see it, we have two choices when (not if) the self-talk hits:

1. We can let it crush us. We lose confidence, cower, and step down from our opportunity to make a difference. We begin to intentionally avoid situations where this type of self-talk could creep in. For me, that would mean no more speaking, no more podcasting, no more writing, no more guesting. There's definitely a scenario where I could mostly eliminate most of my self-talk. However, to make that happen, I have to voluntarily give up my opportunity and responsibility to make an impact. 

2. We can call it what it is - a liar - and simply move forward. It's like that one guy on the basketball court who is always running his mouth. He's continually talking trash, trying to get under your skin. Instead of yapping back or letting it mess us up, we just play our game. We keep going, knowing the mission is too great to let some annoying trash talker in our head get the best of us. 

Today's piece isn't advice or shared wisdom. Rather, it's a reflection of what I deal with, assuming I'm far from alone. If that's true, then you can know you aren't alone. We can be not alone together. I'm choosing option #2 above, and hope you do, too. It's not easy, but it's worth it. 

Move the Decimal Left

$4,125.85

How do you read this number? The correct answer is four thousand, one hundred twenty-five dollars and eighty-five cents. 

The better answer is forty-one hundred dollars. 

16 syllables vs. 7 syllables.....and a whole lot of noise. 

Whenever I work with clients, my mantra is simplify, simplify, simplify. I don't deal with precise numbers. When logging monthly budget numbers, I round to the nearest dollar. I've never once used cents, and I never will. Whenever I log assets and debt on a net worth statement (which happens every meeting for every client), I round to the nearest hundred dollars. Yes, hundreds. Here's an example:

Let's compare the three columns. The leftmost column represents the precise answer. The middle column shows the figures rounded to the nearest dollar. The rightmost column displays the figures rounded to the nearest hundred. Now, which column do you find the easiest to comprehend, visualize, and discuss? Undoubtedly, it's the right column! This simplified representation not only makes financial data more readable and digestible, but also empowers you to have more meaningful discussions about your finances. It might ruffle the feathers of my accountant friends, but that's just a little bonus treat for me!

Far too often, we burn ourselves out by dwelling on the minutiae. We spend so much of our time and energy trying to get the tiny details right that we lose sight of the big picture. Some of you know exactly what I'm talking about!

Confession: I haven't balanced my checking account in over 30 years. I intentionally budget each month and track what happens. I can tell you how much I've spent on gas over the last 15 years, but it's not a precise number. However, it's a correct number. Why? When we round thousands of transactions, the laws of probability tell us that half will round up and half will round down.....meaning it will all work out in the end. If I were to reconcile five years of my personal finances, I suspect my margin of error would be a fraction of a fraction of a percent......you know, a minuscule rounding error. 

Is it perfect? No. But it's sustainable, digestible, and repeatable. If I had been obsessed with pennies in my budgeting process, I would have quit 15 years ago. Instead, I simplify, simplify, simplify. My process is clean, easy, and user-friendly.

I can't even tell you how many people I've worked with who insisted on getting everything perfect down to the penny, only to burn out and quit mere months later. This money stuff doesn't have to be rocket science. It should be simple, but it can only be simple if we make it simple. 

Here's my encouragement for you today. Move that decimal point left! Don't zoom so far in that you miss the big picture. If using round numbers helps you understand and execute your money better, more power to you. Don't aim for perfection. Aim for progress!

Desperately Seeking Accountability

Yesterday's podcast episode hit unexpectedly hard. Within just a few hours after its release, I received at least a half-dozen messages. It was about how our human predisposition to make excuses robs us of the life we deserve. There's always an excuse if we want there to be one. Ultimately, though, the podcast episode meandered to the idea of accountability. This is where the episode hit so many people. 

In a world where we don't want accountability, we really, really want accountability. We're desperately seeking accountability. To prove this point, I mentioned how hard it is for single people to successfully navigate their finances. In theory, this is backward. Single people have a simpler financial structure and don't have to deal with a partner's incongruent goals/desires. A single person is the boss, and they get to execute the plan solely in accordance with their wishes. Yet, single people struggle like no other. 

Why? Accountability, accountability, and accountability. Or perhaps, more accurately, the lack of accountability. Yes, it's true that two married people will have financial disagreements, differing wants, and tension at times. All true! However, they also wake up each morning staring at their accountability. Every day, when I go out into the world to serve people and financially provide for my family, I'm accountable for doing what I say I'm going to do. Sarah is counting on me....and vice versa. We must follow through on our budgeting, saving, spending, giving, investing, paying the bills, keeping insurance policies in place, and several other financial-oriented tasks. That mutual accountability isn't the sole reason it all gets done, but boy, it's a big driver. 

This is where my single friends can struggle. Ultimately, nobody is holding them accountable to budget, spend, save, give, etc. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Nobody else will even know. There's something defeating about that. It lacks consequence. It lacks reward. It lacks celebration. 

Whether you're single or married, you still face these same dynamics somewhere in your life. I have two: reading and lifting. I can't read a book or get my butt into the gym, but I've released two podcast episodes per week for three years and one blog post per day for 550 consecutive days. Why? Accountability! My podcast listeners and blog readers are there to hold me accountable. If my blog doesn't send at around 6AM CST, I immediately get texts from people checking to see if I'm ok. Many podcast listeners, similarly, have a set rhythm on how/when/where they listen to our podcast episodes each week, knowing new episodes will be released on Mondays and Wednesdays. That accountability is the difference between winning or losing. Between following a calling or falling apart. Between achieving a goal or whiffing. 

If something is important, find accountability. If there's no natural accountability, manufacture it. Create structure that provides you with whatever ingredients you need to follow through. You don't have to, but you deserve to. We are desperately seeking accountability. 

Never Let a Phone Do a Laptop’s Job

If you've followed my content for any period of time, you probably know I'm obsessed with behavioral science. It's been a passion of mine for the last decade, and it plays a vital role in my coaching work. One of my favorite dynamics of behavioral science is the differences between generations. Even before I get to know someone, I have a baseline understanding of some of their behavioral wirings just based on their age. Here are some examples (these are generalizations, not absolutes):

• Baby Boomers are very secretive about money, while GenZ and younger Millennials tend to be extremely transparent (almost shockingly so). 

• Most Millennials weren't taught about money as kids. 

• Boomers and GenX are more likely to value possessions, while Millenials and GenZ are more likely to lean into experiences. 

• GenZ is far less likely to let finances drive their decision-making (especially job selection). 

• Boomers and GenX prefer to purchase products from people, whereas Millenials and GenZ prefer to buy directly (without the relational aspect). 

Some of these differences are profound, while others may seem trivial. However, there's no denying that the era we grew up in has left an indelible mark on how we perceive the world today. Despite sharing the same world, we all interact with it in our unique ways. 

That brings us to today's topic. There's one fun little nuance that I've watched play out for years. Then, as I was scrolling through some news articles last night, I finally saw it discussed. You can read about it here. In short, there's a silent generational divide about how transactions should be made. Let's do a little quiz. Answer "yes" or "no" to each.

Would you buy the following item on your phone? 

• Laundry Detergent?

• Movie Tickets?

• Kitchen Gadgets?

• Hotel Room?

• Fridge?

• Airline Flight?

• Signing an Apartment Lease?

• Buying a Car? 

• Signing Documents to Buy a House?

Some of you started sweating as you moved down the list. Where the anxiety kicks in is probably an indication of your age. The cultural phenomenon at hand is how the younger generation will literally make the most significant transactions in their life on their little cell phone screen. I gotta be honest. As an old Millennial, I start getting anxious after the hotel room bullet point. That's my cutoff. Anything further down merits busting the computer out. No quesitons, no excuses. To me, that's just being prudent. To someone younger, it's a paranoid waste of time. 

I once had a young client purchase a car using only his cell phone. I about had a heart attack. I buy hotel rooms monthly on my phone, but the idea of buying flights on my phone sounds terrifying. And don't even get me started about legal documents. Give me the biggest screen I can find!

What's the point? It’s NOT to make sweeping criticisms of any generation. Rather, it's to highlight how differently each of us experiences and interacts with the world. Explore those differences. Celebrate those differences. Laugh about those differences. Learn from those differences. We have so much to learn.....from both those older AND those younger. 

So Ridiculous That It’s Perfect

I just received the most random message from a friend. She shared that her partner just purchased her the most ridiculous Mother's Day gift ever imagined. She is correct. I can, in fact, confirm it's the most outlandish gift I've ever witnessed. In her message was a tongue-in-cheek question about whether this gift was a "smart financial decision." 

Of course this purchase wasn't a smart financial decision. After all, it's peak ridiculous. The obvious answer to her question is, "No," this wasn't a good financial decision. It was an absolute waste of money. It was foolish. It was irresponsible. It was non-sensical. .......

.......It was perfect! Through the lens of investing in mission and memories, he hit the nail on the head with this gift. Yes, it was ridiculous. So much so that she took time out of her day to message me about it. It's truly the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. Yet, it was perfect. Here was my message to her:

"This is a brilliant move. The two most important things to invest in are mission and memories. And something tells me you will remember this forever. Amazing investment!"

This is why it's so important to stop obsessing about needs vs. wants. Instead, we should look through the lens of value and meaning. Does it add value? If so, it's probably a worthwhile purchase. Does it provide meaning? If so, it's probably a worthwhile purchase. Mission and memories usually fit the bill. Value, value, value. Meaning, meaning, meaning. 

Yes, my friend received the most ridiculous gift ever created. Yes, it was perfect. She will remember it forever. Heck, I may remember it forever. Do something outlandish today. Be wasteful. Be irresponsible. Make a decision that makes you scratch your head. Do something that makes other people roll their eyes. Get labeled as the weirdo. But for heaven's sake, invest in mission and memories. You won't regret it, and neither will those in your orbit. 

Happy Mother's Day!