Dodging Tornados

Last night was a rough one in the Shelton household. Sarah is on a girl's trip out of town, so it's just me and the boys. As we were preparing for bed, the tornado sirens started blaring. We grabbed our stuff and set up shop in the basement, watching the local news coverage on TV. At one point, five tornado systems were in our area, with one heading directly toward our city. Luckily, it shifted directions just enough to barely miss us. Other towns weren't as lucky, unfortunately (check out this wild video captured from the same broad tornado system a few hours before it struck our area). The boys were scared, and there was a lot of anxiety in our house until the wee hours of the morning. 

We have blog readers from all over the world, so perhaps some context is in order. While every part of the world has its own array of natural disaster risks, tornados are ours. Unlike earthquakes, hurricanes, or wildfires, tornados are binary. Either they hit you, or they don't. Their paths are narrow, but their impact is significant. If they hit, the destruction can be unprecedented. They are shockingly common here in the midwestern United States. They are far too common, as well. It's typical to have 5-10 warnings each year between the spring and summer months. Needless to say, I'm grateful we dodged another one. 

As I'm sandwiched in the downstairs bed with two exhausted and wimpering boys, I can't help but think about how tornados are a great metaphor for life. Many of our decisions carry risk, but not all risks are created equal. Some risks are more likely to materialize, but with a lower downside. Others (let's call them tornados) have a lower likelihood of materializing, but the downside can be devastating. Here are some examples of the two types of downside scenarios:

Decisions With Minimal Downside

• Running a red light with an officer nearby

• Eating from a questionable street vendor (IYKYK)

• Forgetting your spouse's birthday

• Making an impulsive financial purchase

Decisions With Devastating Downside

• Getting sick or injured without health insurance

• Not carrying an emergency fund

• Failing to have wills or life insurance

• Throwing your retirement assets in single stocks or trendy investment classes

One of my general philosophies of life is to dodge the proverbial tornados. I know I'm going to screw up, and I know I'll get unlucky at times. However, if I can just avoid the tornados, I'll live to fight another day. I'll gladly take two steps forward and one step back, but I can't afford a blistering 25 steps back. 

As you read this, reflect on your life and see if you can spot the lingering tornados. What are the decisions that, while lower in risk, have the potential to devastate your life if it goes the wrong way? Once you identify them, I encourage you to take the appropriate steps to mitigate them. Dodge those tornados! 

Tyler Joseph Cuts Me Again

Much to my delight, Twenty One Pilots released another single this week. This song, Next Semester, has a 90s punk rock beat (think Blink 182). That's not necessarily my style, but Tyler Joseph has a way of creating powerful experiences in unexpected ways. Next Semester is a deeply powerful and emotional song that cuts to the core of what many of us experience along our journey: mistakes, fear, anxiety, doubt, and regret. Also, like many of their songs, there's a strong lean into faith.

One lyric repeated multiple times is, "Can't change what you've done. Start fresh next semester." This one cuts to the core, as most of us carry many regrets. We've done things we wish we could undo....but we can't. That's a deeply depressing and frustrating reality.

However, Tyler's next words are the key element: "Start fresh next semester." While we can't change the past, every day is an opportunity to carve a new path—a continual second chance.

The lyrics and emotion of the song cut through me in so many ways. I think about all the mistakes I've made in my life—deep, painful, and life-altering mistakes. Decisions I wish could be erased or reversed. I think most of us have similar feelings about moments in our past.

I also think about my coaching work. When I meet couples face-to-face and discuss deeply personal topics such as money, marriage, and careers, many regrets and past mistakes rise to the surface. These past events have a habit of taking hold of us and influencing our behavior, perspective, and decisions (often in toxic ways).

These elephants in the room can sabotage us every step of the way. I don't mean to sound overly dramatic, but they can be haunting....and destructive. For this reason, it's imperative that we confront our guilt and regrets head-on.

First, we can't play the woulda, coulda, shoulda game. We can't what-if our way into a healthy place. Unless we have a Delorian (call me if you do!), the past is 100% cemented in time. We must reckon with the reality that we can do nothing about it.

Second, and more importantly, we can choose to step into a different, better, and brighter future. Remember, making no choice is still making a choice. Something will happen to us tomorrow, whether proactively or reactively.....whether actively or passively….whether good or bad. It won't stay the same. Tomorrow's coming, and it's going to alter our path one way or another.

Once we accept this idea, we can embrace a better future we most certainly deserve. This, right here, is where people's lives change. I've seen it play out in hundreds of people's lives. Whether it's debt, a dead-end career, living month-to-month, stuck in a bad relationship, or failing to get a needed education, better is out there for you.

Can't change what you've done. Let go of the regret. The past is the past.

Start fresh next semester. Tomorrow is a new day. Make it the beginning of something beautiful.

Creativity is a Renewable Resource

18 months ago, while enjoying a coffee with my close friend and mentor, Gary Hoag, I confided that I was struggling with my writing. Specifically, I struggled finding the time and the ideas to publish 2-3 pieces per month. His advice was simple and absurd: "Just write every day." Ah yes, why didn't I think of that!?!? I don't have time or ideas to write 2-3 times per month, so let's go ahead and write 30 times per month. Does this sound as crazy to you as it did to me? To be honest, I'd probably jump off a cliff if Gary suggested it. For that reason, and perhaps combined with a momentary lapse in judgment, I took his advice.

Today is my 500th article published in 500 days. It feels weird even typing that. 238,000 words sent into cyberspace, hoping to move the needle in someone's life. It started with a handful of people already subscribed to my previous blog (plus a few new pity follows from friends and family). Fast forward 500 days and the addition of many new faces, and The Daily Meaning has been e-mailed 62,000 times (plus however many people have stopped by the website to read it). Wow…just wow!

Out of curiosity, I just Googled, "What is a normal open rate for e-mail newsletters?" Depending on the source, anything between 15%-25% should be viewed as "good." In other words, if 1,000 e-mails are sent, it would be a success if 150-250 of them are opened. Not you guys, though….. you're built differently. Of the 62,000 e-mails that have been sent, approximately 70% have been opened. What!?!? I noticed this trend early on, and it's boggled my mind ever since. To say I'm grateful would be the world's biggest understatement. Releasing this blog into the world each morning, and the engagement you show in return, is one of the biggest joys of my life. I never take that opportunity (and responsibility) for granted.

If there's one lesson I've learned from this crazy endeavor, it's this: creativity is a renewable resource. In the past, I would have tightly held my "good ideas" while seeking the perfect time to release them into the world. It was a form of hoarding, in some sense. But it does no good stuck in my brain. On the flip side, sharing our creativity is an act of generosity. It allows the opportunity to make a difference and add value to people's lives.

Something else happens when we release our creativity into the world. It's like pruning a shrub. After we prune a shrub, there's less plant remaining; we took something away. In short order, however, it grows faster, fuller, and better. Creativity is much the same way. When we share something with the world, we're initially left with less. However, the act of sharing spurs our creativity to grow faster, fuller, and better. It's the ultimate renewable resource.

Yes, you're creative. Whether you're a traditional creative (artist, photographer, musician, etc.) or someone who views yourself as "not a creative person," you ARE creative. You have something to share. Something that matters. Something that will add value to other people's lives. Share it. Just share it. It's a renewable resource.

It’s a Game of Runs

Can you believe the Cyclones men's basketball team is ranked #6 in the country? Me neither. It's been a fun season I'll remember for many years. As I watched the game last night, I was reminded again how basketball is a game of runs. A series of bad things happen to you, but if you stay true to the game plan and keep fighting, a series of good things can immediately follow. Then, a series of bad things may happen again....and the cycle continues. The tipping point in last night's game was a 10-0 Cyclone run late in the second half to take the lead. Iowa State went on to win the game to close out a perfect 18-0 record at home for the season.

Life is much the same way. Sarah and I have been on a good run lately. Lots of good things have landed in our favor. Then, out of nowhere, wham! Instantly, the tables turned, and we experienced a series of bad things. Pax got brutally sick, Finn's having trouble at school, and we've had some unexpected medical costs. To make it worse, all this is happening with me out of town (of course it is!).

Like my Cyclones, the only way to reverse the bad run in life is to stick to the game plan and keep fighting. It's so easy to get frustrated and want to give up. That applies to both sports and life. If we aren't careful, our will gets broken, and we lose the battle.

I'm not complaining about my family's recent bad run. It happens. And soon enough, we'll reverse the tide, and a good run shall come. Several of my clients have hit a bad run lately. Unlucky breaks, unexpected expenses, frustrating mistakes, and ridiculous roadblocks. These things suck, but they happen. I continuously remind them to stick to the game plan and keep fighting. There is no other choice. It's not a matter of IF they will prevail.....it's WHEN they will prevail.

Keep fighting the good fight. I know many of you are in the midst of a bad run. It may knock you down, but don't let it keep you down. Your best days are in front of you. You got this!

Old Dogs, New Tricks

The hardest part of my professional coaching is working with 40-somethings. No, not because they aren't smart (some of them are the smartest people I know). No, not because they are stubborn (well, some are). The unique problem 40-somethings (and older) have that younger people don't is deeply seeded habits that go back for decades. 

If you give me any 25-year-old couple with a heart to do better in the area of finances, the life change will be quick and drastic. We don't have to peel back layers and layers of poor habits, destructive behaviors, and built-up resentment. Think of it as a clean canvas. It's not perfect, but it's a great place to start.

With us 40-somethings, however, it's a different story. The canvas doesn't look so clean. By the time we're 40, we've lived two full decades of our adult life. With it comes entrenched habits, an array of behaviors (including some terrible ones), and a lot of baggage. 

Fellow old-ish people, you know exactly what I'm talking about! Life is messy, and we have the scars to prove it. So when I'm meeting with someone who has a few decades of lived experience on the odometer, it's common to hear the following statements:

• "I'm just not good with money."

• "It's just the way I am." 

• "You can't teach an old dog new tricks."

• "This is just the way we do it." 

• "It works good enough for us."

While people sincerely mean it when they say these things, it's also a cop-out. It's a justification for staying in the same place. It's an excuse for continued failure. They are entirely correct in their sentiment, but I want them to see the other side of this coin. Yes, there's a lot stacked against them. Conversely, they have even more opportunities to drive change at this stage of their lives. More resources, more experience, more relationships, more skills, etc.

Last week, one of my 40-something clients had a massive breakthrough. Together, they've been dabbling in toxic and destructive financial habits for nearly a quarter century. Money hasn't been the most joyful of topics to discuss or engage. It's been a source of heartache and frustration. 

For the last two months, however, they absolutely crushed it. They achieved some massive wins, which opens up the door (and the optimism) for significant life change in the months and years to come. They could make excuses and simply justify staying on their current trajectory, but they aren't. They deeply care to turn the ship around and improve this area of their life. And they are doing it! They probably didn't see it on my face as we were talking, but I was emotional. Seeing them thrive after all they've been through is one of my greatest joys!

Old dogs, we can learn new tricks. It's not easy. It will most certainly be messy. Yeah, it would have been nice to learn them sooner. But today is your day. Seize it! You deserve it. 

Better Late Than Never

We published our 306th episode of the Meaning Over Money podcast yesterday. On Monday, we'll begin publishing full video episodes on our YouTube channel. Yes, it took 306 episodes and nearly three years to publish on YouTube. Even more sad is the fact our producer and Meaning Over Money co-founder, Cole Netten, is a filmmaker. This is literally his wheelhouse. Ouch! Better late than never, though.

The truth is, we've had a lot of life happen in the last three years. Cole bought a house, had two kids, and has shepherded his business to entirely new heights. My life hasn't been any less crazy. My business has evolved a ton, we launched Northern Vessel Coffee, I joined multiple boards, launched my speaking career, started contributing meaningful time to a client in Texas, and have experienced significant life change while transitioning our twin boys into their school years.

It's been a lot. Every now and then, Cole and I will lament that we're not as far along with the podcast as we'd like. We know we can reach more people and make a more significant impact, but the above reasons have diverted our attention (and time). On the flip side, we've made the choices we've made.....and we own the outcomes of those choices.

Along the journey, there were two paths we could have taken. We could have elected to wait until everything was just how we wanted it. The perfect studio. A full suite of marketing strategies across all social media platforms. Fully produced video. The possibilities are endless. If that was the route we selected, we'd still be waiting to launch the podcast.

Instead, we chose the second path: putting one foot in front of the other. It's not always pretty. It can get messy. We're leaving something on the table. But we're moving forward. 300+ episodes later, and we're still (slowly) building momentum. According to Listen Notes, we're in the top 3% of podcasts that have ever existed. That's pretty cool for a couple guys who have failed forward every step of the way.

Now, please allow me to flip it around back to you. I encourage you to NOT wait until everything is just right. Instead, whatever it is you're supposed to do, simply put one foot in front of the other. It won't always be pretty. It will surely be messy. You'll undoubtedly leave something on the table in the process. However, you'll make a difference. You'll create impact. You'll navigate (perhaps slowly) toward success. Better late than never!

Walking Looks Crazy to a Crawler

Raising twins is a trip. To be honest, I don’t know any other version of parenting than having two kids the same age. Being a dad to these two little boys has been one of the greatest blessings of my life. While flying home from Texas last night, I was thumbing through old pictures and videos. Parents, you know what I’m talking about! While on my little nostalgic adventure, I stumbled on something I hadn’t seen before. Well, it’s a video I’ve seen dozens of times, but a detail in the background has escaped me until now.

The subject of the video is Pax walking for the first time. It’s a precious video, and I’m grateful I was present for his first steps. But last night, I couldn’t get over what happened in the background. There was Finn, witnessing the event unfolding. He was watching, but he had a look of absolute bewilderment. To Finn, Pax might as well have been using magic or voodoo. As an avid crawler himself, watching his twin brother walk for the first time looked mind-bogglingly crazy.

Today, as a first grader, it’s safe to say the act of walking has been normalized for Finn. It’s been many years since he’s even thought about the process involved in putting one foot in front of the other. He eventually graduated to running, then jumping, then becoming a little ninja. Yet, back then, it was the craziest thing he had ever seen.

So many things in life are like this. I have financial habits I’ve been doing for so long that it’s simply muscle memory now. On the flip side, I can meet with a 40-something who looks at these habits with the same bewilderment Finn had all those years ago. Walking looks crazy to a crawler. Truth is, we all have to crawl at something before we can walk. Getting on a budget. Paying off debt. Investing in retirement. Giving. Running a business. The list goes on and on.

I just met with a young couple I have been coaching for about six months. They had a TON of debt…..more than $100,000 of student loans. When we started working together, all of this money stuff was foreign to them. They didn’t know where to start. I suggested they begin by crawling. We created their first budget….scary! I challenged them to pay off $700 of student loan debt that first month…..scary! They were crawling. Fast forward six months, and they now consider budgeting second nature. They also paid off $5,000 of debt just last month. They are running! And just like little Finny man once he learned to run, you’ll never catch them. They are off to the races!

Please let this be your encouragement today. Yes, there are things in your world that feel intimidating and uncomfortable. But trust me, if you have the courage to give it a shot, you’ll quickly progress from crawling, to walking, and maybe even running.

You Are Where You Are

When I’m sitting with someone and begin talking about their finances, one of the first things they reveal is a regret they haven’t done better. This usually comes out as frustration from past mistakes, a track record of unintentionality, a comparison to someone doing better financially, or an acknowledgment that they have some knowledge gaps regarding money. We all carry some combination of this. Money is a deeply personal topic, and most of us have some wounds (or scars).

I always have the same message. We are where we are. None of us are where we wish we were, but we also can’t jump into our Delorian to go back in time for a do-over. While that’s a sad reality, it can also be freeing. If there’s literally nothing we can do about the past, we have the opportunity to put 100% of our focus on the present and future.

I’m waking up in Los Angeles today, on the heels of a talk I gave last night. It’s a gang prevention program for parents and teens, with each night having a different topic. This is the third cohort I’ve worked with in this program, and the focus of my talk is helping families get a better grasp and perspective on their finances. You might be wondering what my ideas and topics have to do with gang prevention, and I wouldn’t blame you. One of the reasons young adults join gangs is the pressure to help their financially struggling family. The objective of my talk is to help families alleviate some of their financial tension (through better stewardship), so their kids don’t feel the financial pressure to go down the gang route.

After my talk, three separate people approached me and voiced their frustration with themselves over past (and current) financial decisions. My response: “You are where you are. Tomorrow is a new day, and I believe you can move the needle in the right direction.” We went on to discuss a few nuances specific to their individual journeys. I wanted them to leave that room with optimism, confidence, and most importantly, grace (to their past selves). They are where they are, but the future is wide open.

Wherever you are, no matter your mistakes, and regardless of what others around you are doing, you got this! Maybe you’re deeply in debt. Maybe you’ve failed to invest in your future. Maybe you’re living in a house/apartment you can barely afford. Maybe you bit off more than you can chew with your choice of vehicle. Maybe you messed up at work and lost your job. You are where you are. There’s no way around that. But today is a special day. Today is the day you have the opportunity to unwind past decisions, reassess where you’re trying to go, and make new decisions. There’s no day like today!

One Fear at a Time

Confession: I like encouraging my kids into uncomfortable and scary positions. Instead of trying to ensure their comfort, I find ways to make them uncomfortable. It's all contextual to age, of course. I wouldn't throw a seven-year-old onto the street at 11 PM and wish him luck. It's little things at their age. Making them pay for something independently at a store. Coaxing them onto a roller coaster. Trying new and unique foods. None of these things are life-altering, but each propels them to the next.

Yesterday was a new one. The boys and I bought tickets to play at an aqua park at our port stop in Haiti. Think of it as an inflatable obstacle course in the deep water of an ocean bay. The boys were excited, but a bit nervous. As our reservation approached, we walked out onto the long dock, fastened our life jackets, and listened to the safety instructions. When it was time to jump in and swim to the obstacles, Pax seized up. Fear had overcome him. I think it was a combination of a fear of sharks snacking on his little body, the fact he couldn't touch the bottom, the long swim, and the uniqueness of the attraction. I held his hand and said I would count to three, then we'd jump. At about two, he started wimpering and changed his mind, but I made an executive decision to pull him in with me on the third count anyway (bold move, I know).

As soon as his head crested the surface and he realized he wasn't dead, he smiled and excitedly started swimming toward the first obstacle. That began a fun and exhausting hour of climbing, jumping, falling, and splashing. They both had the time of their lives, and we made some fun memories. As I do every night, I asked the boys what their favorite part of the day was. Pax: "The ocean obstacle course."

I'm such a believer in confronting fears. Not all at once. One fear at a time. Each time we conquer one (even a small one), it gives us momentum and confidence to face the next one.

Food is much the same way. In our family, we don't get free passes to say "no" to food. There are no special kids' menus or accommodations. They don't have to like it, but they do have to try it. And if they try it but don't like it, that's ok. But they will never know unless they try. Not every food is a hit, and sometimes it can be ugly. On the flip side, their fear turned to tolerance, and their tolerance turned to a fairly diverse palate. It's the power of confronting one fear at a time. If they had it their way, they would have stuck to eight lame items and simply "not liked" everything else. Instead, we pushed them every step of the way.

One fear at a time. You'll thank yourself later.

Pax sitting in the hot tub, enjoying the view, after returning to the boat in Haiti.

There’s Only One Way to Find Out

As I write this, I'm in the midst of some quiet time. Not just any quiet time, though. I'm sitting on the back of a cruise ship, perched on a lounge chair, 15 feet above the ocean, in the middle of the Atlantic, watching the vastness of our earth pass by. It's a surreal experience, and one that I treasure. The wind is swirling, and the occasional spraying of salt water on my face reminds me of who's boss.

I've spent the entirety of my adult life actively avoiding cruises. Perhaps it was the fear of getting seasick. Perhaps it was a dislike for crowds. It could have been a disdain for schedules while on vacation. Or maybe I just didn't want to be confined to a small space. It was probably all of the above, most likely.

There's a motto I live by, and I am trying to instill it into my kids. "There's only one way to find out." We don't know until we know. Perhaps our fears and suspicions will be confirmed, and we've been right all along. Or maybe, just maybe, our lack of insight and experience has misled us, and one of the most incredible things in our life is just on the other side of "yes."

Many of us will go our entire lives, never finding out. What if I applied for that job? What if I asked that girl/guy out? What if I started that business? What if I tried a different approach? What if I published that podcast? What if I wrote that book? What if I published that song? So many what-ifs! The only thing separating a regret from a story is action. The courage and curiosity to say "yes" and then let the chips fall how they may.

This is the approach I've lived my life by for the better part of a decade. It's resulted in some pretty bad mistakes, some amazing stories, and a blessed journey I couldn't be more grateful for. But I didn't know until I knew.

As for this cruise, let's just say I'm a cruise guy now. I'm having a wonderful time and cherish every day I have here to make memories with my family. I didn't know until I knew……and I'm glad I do now.

There's only one way to find out!

You Can’t Control What You Can’t Control

Here's a live look at my day:

I was supposed to get home last night, but my flight from Dallas to Des Moines was canceled. After several discussions with airline employees, I decided to fly to Chicago to provide a few more opportunities to get home the following day(s). I spent the night at a hotel in an O'Hare airport, and now I will spend my day in the airport on standby, praying to make it home. The first available flight home isn't until Monday, so I'll be playing the waiting game until then. Ouch.

In the past, a situation like this would have likely sent me over the edge. I would have been furious. Now, however, I feel different about it. Instead of obsessing about everything I can't control (like blizzards, frigid temps, canceled flights, and a backlog of people trying to get home), I try to focus on what I can control. And today, that's very little. I can show up to the gate and hope. I can try to be productive with my lengthy airport time. I can treat people with dignity and not be a complete jerk. That's about all I can control. The rest is out of my hands. Maybe I'll get home today, or Sunday, or Monday. At this point, that fate is out of my hands.

Our finances and careers are much the same. So many components of our work and money are out of our hands. We can't control the stock market. We can't control whether or not our boss gives us the promotion we deserve. We can't control housing prices. We can't control what the Joneses are doing.

On the flip side, we can control how much we invest each month. We can control how hard we work and what value we add to the organization. We can control where we live. We can control what lifestyle we pursue.

For every 1,000 things we can't control, there are 1,000 things we can. Ignore the former and embrace the latter.

In the meantime, I'll just be bribing strangers with cash, jewelry, and whatever other trinkets I can muster. Hey, it worked for Kevin McCallister's mom!

Never Waste a Perfectly Good Mistake

In a sobering coaching moment, I recently explained to a client that their investing decisions have cost them handily. They asked me how much we're talking about, so I did some calculations. Though it's a rough estimation, it's safe to say they've lost at least $25,000 so far. They were livid. Worse, their financial advisor is a family member. What this family member did to them wasn't explicitly immoral, but rather "normal." Normal in the sense it's what most people are doing.....which is terrible. They were sick about it, and rightfully so.

But as I love to say, let's not waste a perfectly good mistake. Yes, they lost out on +/- $25,000. There's no way to reverse that. However, that pales in comparison to what they will potentially lose in the future. By my estimation, they will lose a minimum of $1M in the decades to come if they stay on this same path. It's an expensive mistake, but that singular mistake will ironically be the springboard to them doing so much better. That mistake was transformational......in the best way.

I also think back to my own journey. Specifically, when I received the humbling of a lifetime when the Great Financial Crisis struck us. I was $236,000 in debt, on the verge of losing my job, and had limited options. I was blessed with the opportunity to keep my job (by moving states), which gave me a second chance to do this financial stuff right. That mistake was costly, but it was ironically the springboard to a better life. That mistake was transformational.....in the best way. I still carry some of that pain, but I also carry a ton of gratitude with it.

I don't know what mistakes you've made, are making, or will make in the future, but I know they are coming. Some of them will be mild, but others will be costly. I hope they don't cost you as much as they cost this young couple or the younger version of me, but whatever they are, I hope you use it for good. Learn from it. Be humbled by it. Grow from it. Let it shift your perspective. See it through a different lens. Share it with others. Be better as a result of it. Regardless of how bad the mistake was, more good can come from it than bad......if we allow it.

We can't avoid mistakes altogether, but we can use them as a force for good. Never waste a perfectly good mistake!

A Resolution to Eliminate Resolutions

I used to be a New Year's resolution guy. I love beginnings, endings, seasons, clean slates, and fresh starts. There's something so alluring about the idea of the blank canvas of a new year. 

The key word is "used to." Somewhere along the journey, I started looking around (and in the mirror) and realized most resolutions were a bunch of crap. Not the idea behind the resolution, but rather the execution of it. Do you ever go to a gym during the first few weeks of January? It's absolutely packed. It's filled with people you've never seen before. But by March, most of those people will be gone, and the gym will be normal again. I'm not criticizing. Heck, I've been one of those January-through-March gym people before. 

It's not that I don't think there's value in wanting these things. Whether it's going to the gym, eating better, paying off debt, or any number of respectable goals, they are inherently good. The problem, however, is the resolution part. A resolution is just a shinier version of a wish. There's no follow-through, no execution, and no discipline. It's just an unlikely dream that will quickly whither. 

So what's the alternative? Simply give up and not even try? No way! Not even close. We should be clear with ourselves about what we're trying to accomplish. But instead of focusing on the outcome, we should focus on the little things that help bring the desired outcome to life. 

Let's use paying off debt as an example. Let's say I have $18,000 of student loan debt that I want to pay off this year. Instead of simply resolving to pay it off, I need to ask myself what must happen to bring it to fruition. Here's how I'd process it:

• First, I need to commit to creating, executing, and tracking a budget each month. This is the tool that unlocks our potential. 

• Second, I need to break down the desired outcome into bite-sized chunks. $18,000 divided by 12 months equals $1,500/month. I don't need to pay off $1,500 every month, but I need to average $1,500/month over the year. 

• Third, I need to assess my financial life this month to determine how much (and from where) I can find $1,500+ to throw towards the debt. It may already be there, but if not, what options do I have? Extra paychecks? Tax refund? Bonus? Side hustles? Gifts?

• Fourth, I need to follow through with the plan. Execute this month well. Nail it.

• Fifth, I need to celebrate the small wins along the way. If I pay off a small debt, I'll celebrate by going out to dinner. When I pay off another, I'll treat myself to something cool. Always celebrate. 

• Sixth, I need to remember my why. Getting out of debt alone isn't enough. What's my why? 

Oddly enough, when we focus on the small behaviors, the big dreams come to life. Go get it this year! You got this! Happy New Year!

Progress Through Imperfection

One of my clients felt frustrated this month. They are early in their budgeting journey, having just finished their first full month of planning, execution, and tracking. It's a newer concept to them, and I'm asking them to approach it in an entirely different way. They are nervous, excited, and cautiously optimistic about the entire thing. They felt pretty good entering their first month, but ultimately exceeded the budget by approximately $150.

They expected me to be disappointed in them, but I was nothing short of excited and optimistic. While they viewed a $150 miss as a loss, I call it a win. Here's why. They were expecting perfection, while I was expecting progress. My hope was for them to have a plan, give their best efforts to honor the plan, do it with unity, and track it accordingly. In my book, they get an A+! Nowhere in there did I expect perfection.

Here's a little secret. The best budgeters rarely get closer than $150 to their targeted budget. What it most often looks like is missing by several hundred on either side of zero, month after month after month. Then, if you take an average over a long period of time, it averages out reasonably close to zero. Perfection is never the goal. The goal is progress through imperfection.

This is a powerful concept with money (among other things). We need to let go of the expectation of perfection. The moment we stop expecting perfection is the moment we can actually make meaningful progress.

You're going to mess up. I'm going to mess up. We're all going to mess up. When we do, we have two options: 1) give ourselves grace and simply move on, or 2) beat ourselves up and dwell in frustration.

Back to the couple at the beginning of the story. They began the conversation frustrated, but ended it encouraged, optimistic, and excited. The lynchpin was grace. They gave themselves grace to be imperfect. Progress through imperfection.

Go be imperfect today!

Under the Fold

Yesterday was a wild day. I partnered with our local high school to host three workshops on pursuing meaningful work. The idea stemmed from a talk I recently gave at a local middle school. The concept is simple, but powerful. To find meaningful work in our lives, we need to combine our gifts with our passions in a way that's profitable. I illustrate this by using a Venn diagram. Here's what it looks like:

After the second workshop, a young lady approached me. She thanked me for coming, said she needed to catch her ride, and then handed me a folded sheet of paper. "I took notes while you were talking and have some feedback for you. I included my e-mail address in case you want to talk more about it."

I was instantly overcome by anxiety. I was so shocked by my sudden anxiety that it caused even more anxiety. Wow! This young lady, 25 years my junior, sweetly thanked me for coming and handed me a note, and I'm overcome with anxiety!?!? What the heck is that all about?

After reflecting on it, I think it's a testament to the insane culture we live in. A culture where people constantly crap on each other, hurl insults like they are going out of style, and all news is bad news. Therefore, my immediate gut reaction was that this young lady probably blasted me. I feel immensely guilty for feeling that way, but it's an interesting situation to ponder. It took me about 40 minutes to actually read the note. All the while, it was sitting in front of me while I wondered what it contained under the fold.

So what was in the note? She again thanked me for coming and gave me some constructive feedback about one of my perspectives. I want to share one point she made, which struck me as profound. "Meaning isn't something automatically found in a thing or person. It's added once we give it the attention and work that symbolizes value in our lives."

In other words, meaning isn't inherent. It's not something that either exists....or doesn't. We must create meaning. If we have the wrong attitude, nothing will have meaning. On the flip side, even the most seemingly unmeaningful task can have meaning if we have the right mindset. To sum up her feedback, meaning is created, not found.

I applaud this young lady for a) her courage to share constructive feedback with a complete stranger, b) the humility and tact with which she shared her thoughts, and c) her wisdom and perspective on this weighty topic.

I was nervous to see what was under the fold, but I'm so very grateful for it. It will undoubtedly influence what and how I communicate a few of these topics going forward, and I'll be better for it. Don't be afraid to look under the fold in your life. It's always nerve-wracking and often uncomfortable to receive feedback, but it's always worth it.

A Posture of Gratitude

Every morning, we take a posture into our day. While no day will be perfect, and most days will surely throw us some unsavory curveballs, our posture will play a more significant role in how our day goes than the external forces that hit us. 

I wish I could say I always get this right....I don't. Somedays I wake up on the wrong side of the bed and step into my day with a poor attitude. Even good days turn sour when I do that. However, most days, I try to approach it with a posture of service and generosity. Those days are usually pretty killer. 

Today, I have a posture of gratitude. Yesterday was the final of three speaking opportunities in the last five days. And man, it was awesome! I have been anticipating yesterday for over a year, and it felt great to finally get the opportunity. Despite all the speaking success in the last five days, it was far from perfect. Between each speaking engagement were fires, mishaps, emergencies, hurting clients, deadlines, and mistakes. Impact isn't usually pretty. It's not some clean, perfect little package with a bow on it like social media would have us believe. It can be ugly and messy. Gratitude covers a lot of that up, though.

I'm grateful for Ankeny Young Professionals for inviting me to speak. 

I'm grateful for On With Life for hosting the event and for all the amazing work they are doing. I could have just restructured my entire talk and used them as THE example of what it looks like to pursue meaning. 

I'm grateful for all the wonderful people who came out to listen to the talk. Wow, that room was packed!

I'm grateful for Daily Meaning reader (and my new friend!), Gretchen, for driving to Ankeny to attend the event and meet me. Gretchen, our time together was one of the highlights of my week! Thank you!

I'm grateful for my team, who helped make this all possible:

• Jordan, for the sharp visuals.

• Parker, for the fantastic video work.

• Rebekah, for keeping my head on straight (this is a tall order!).

• Claire, for the wonderful social media.

• Alyssa, for ensuring I kept enough margin in my calendar to prepare and be mentally healthy.

As I mentioned in my talk, we can't do it alone.....and luckily, we don't have to. I would be nothing without my team.

I'm grateful for many friends (and my wife) who showed up to see me speak. It was the first time in several years that my wife attended one of my talks. That meant a lot to me.

I'm grateful for the many failures that have shaped me into who I am today. Without those terrible, gut-wrenching experiences, I couldn't be truly grateful for what I do have. Also, those failure stories make for great content for people to laugh at!

Lastly, I'm grateful for you for reading! It means more than you know!

Gratitude. Always gratitude.

The Admission Price

Later today, I'll be giving a talk to a group of young professionals. I couldn't be more excited. Also, I couldn't be more scared. This is my paradox with public speaking. It's simultaneously my greatest joy and my greatest fear. I could eliminate the fear, but it would require me to remove the joy. Or I can have the joy and keep the fear. See the dilemma?

"Comfort is the enemy of progress, and failure is the admission price to success."

This is one of my favorite parts of the talk. These words seem to strike others as much as they do me. It's a scary reality we all must face. We can have comfort.....if we're willing to give up progress. We can remove failure.....if we simply stop trying.

I love watching people fail. Not because I'm some type of weirdo (I don't think, anyway). I love watching people fail because it means they are trying to do something difficult, something that matters. When they fail, they aren't really failing. They are learning, growing, and moving the ball forward. It doesn't feel great, but that's why it's the admission price.

If I wanted to avoid failure today, I could have stayed home. There's zero chance I could embarrass myself or fall flat on my face if I just don't go. There's also zero chance I would make an impact.

Will I fall flat on my face? Will I make an impact? Will I perhaps do both? Stay tuned. I'll be sure to give you a full report soon. But enough about me. What about you? Where do you need to walk that tightrope of comfort and progress, failure and success? I know you know. It's the thing that lives just below the surface. Every now and then, it pops its head out. But it's really, really uncomfortable, so we push it back down. We know we should go for it, but life is simpler and more comfortable if we don't.

Whatever you do, I hope you decide to pay the admission price!

It’s About More Than the Product

Though I'm firmly cemented in the dot com generation (and live fully into all of the stereotypes), there's nothing better to me than a good old-fashioned newspaper. Sitting down with a paper and a coffee is my definition of relaxation. After a two-year hiatus, I recently decided to subscribe to a print newspaper. In my opinion, the Wall Street Journal is the most well-rounded, unbiased publication on the market. Therefore, that was my paper of choice.

The first day of delivery was glorious! Unlike the last time I subscribed, it showed up right at my doorstep (instead of me having to play Where's Waldo around a 3-house radius). I had my paper. I had my coffee. I had my relaxation. I was one happy man.....for a few days.

Then, something happened. I quickly realized the paper was getting delivered at 8:30 or 9:00 AM, significantly later than desired. Not only did I not get to read it while relaxing before work, but I didn't even have the opportunity to take it with me. To make matters worse, the weekend edition gets delivered one day late. I wake up on Saturday morning to enjoy my weekend reading, only to realize there is none. I'm already at church by the time they deliver it on Sunday. Therefore, I don't even see the weekend edition until Sunday afternoon.

Ok, rant over. Sorry, didn't mean to cry a river there. Here's where I'm going with this. The Wall Street Journal is a wonderful paper. I very much enjoy the Wall Street Journal. It's worth every penny I pay for it. HOWEVER, it's about more than the product. Even if the product is amazing (like the WSJ), the other aspects of the relationship matter just as much. Despite having a significantly superior product (my opinion) at a reasonable price (also my opinion), it's simply not worth it if they don't deliver it promptly.

It makes me think about Apple. I love Apple products. While Apple makes some of the best products in the world, it's about more than the product. From the unique layout and structure their retail stores, to the streamlined user-interface experience, to the unparalleled customer service. Did I mention the packaging?!?! Have you ever unboxed an Apple product? That experience alone is amazing. Apple understands it's about more than the product. Apple understands you need a world-class product AND excellence in all the other areas around it.

I think about this idea a lot. While we're trying to be excellent, work hard, and make an impact, what are we missing? Do we deliver good work but show up late every day? Are we good to work with but terrible to work for? Do we get our work done quickly, but it's full of errors? Do we make stellar choices on our big financial decisions but squander it away on all the little ones? Do we have a glaring blind spot amidst otherwise excellent work?

Something to think about today.

Once You See It

Do you recognize this logo? Of course, it's the KFC logo! Most of us grew up with this logo in our lives, and its tasty fried chicken in our bellies. It's one of the most recognizable brands and logos in American culture. However, a few years ago, someone told me something that would forever change my life (ok, that's a bit of an over exaggeration). Are you ready for it? Ready for me to rock your world? Colonel Sanders's bow tie isn't a bow tie, but a little stick figure with arms and legs. Can you see it? No, the more important question is if you can unsee it. After spending my entire life knowing it's a bow tie, all I can see now is a big mellon on a tiny little stick body. Once you see it, you can't unsee it.

This same concept applies to many financial concepts in our lives. We spend our entire lives believing something is one way, until we see it differently. Then once we do, we can never go back to seeing it the old way. 

• After being vehemently against budgeting for nearly two decades, one of my clients recently stated they can't image living another month without one. 

• Another client has lived his entire life believing the stock market is risky. After learning the truth, he now views the stock market as a long-term no-brainer with practically zero risk of long-term loss.

• Many clients were raised to believe debt is just a fact of life.....until a different, healthier, and better reality is presented to them. 

• Most people perceive student loans as an inevitable and necessary evil if they send their kids to college. However, once I walk them through a different perspective and show it to them visually, it revolutionizes their prospective reality. 

I could list a few dozen more examples, but I don't want to beat a dead horse. The fun part about this once-you-see-it concept is that it doesn't require magic or much work to make it happen. Take the KFC logo, for instance. All I did was share an idea, and all you did was digest the idea. Then boom (!!!), Colonel Sanders will forever be a big ol' head on a tiny stick body. 

Just think of the possibilities, then. We're only limited by our willingness and desire to be curious. Curious people experience life change. Non-curious people find excuses. This is one of the primary reasons I write this blog each day. If I can share an interesting idea with just one curious person, the potential for change is on the table. 

As you go about your day today, ask yourself what tightly-held ideas you need to get curious about. Your curiosity may affirm the perspective you already hold. However, it may unlock an entirely new perspective. Once you see it......

Get Your At-Bats

I was recently invited to speak to an organization called Ankeny Young Professionals. They are an offshoot of a local chamber of commerce. I’ve been in discussions with their leadership for more than a year, eagerly anticipating an opportunity to speak. Needless to say, I couldn’t be more excited. This is a huge opportunity for me, but not for traditional reasons. It’s not going to be a significantly large audience. The room won’t likely be filled with powerful CEOs. I’m not getting paid a ton of money (unless you consider $0 a lot!). 

Here’s why I’m excited for this one:

• Young professionals are my people! I serve many different groups of people, but for whatever reason, I connect well with them……and vice versa. 

• There will be a lot of familiar faces in the room. Acquaintances, friends, clients, and other people I’ve interacted with at some point. I never take for granted when people in my life take time out of their day to read, listen, watch, or absorb my content. It’s a true pleasure. 

• This opportunity gives me another at-bat. This right here, this is the gold!

It will be the third time formally delivering my new keynote talk. This talk is the culmination of more than 100 non-related talks, thousands of client meetings and conversations, and all my content over the last decade. The first time I delivered this talk, I did it poorly (I know I’m hard on myself). The second time I delivered it, I did it ok. What about this time? There’s only one way to find out!

That’s why at-bats are so important. Each time we step up to the plate, it’s an opportunity to hit a home run, strike out, or something in between. But the only way we can get better is by stepping up to that plate, fear and all. This is the reason I crave opportunities to practice my craft. Will I strike out? Maybe. Will I hit a homerun? It’s possible. But regardless of what happens, I promise I’ll get better.

This is the opportunity we each have today. No matter what you do or what you’re trying to become, nothing can replicate the power of stepping to the plate for another at-bat. Yes, it’s possible you’ll strike out. Yes, you might embarrass yourself. Yes, you might get humbled. Yes, your nightmares might come true. That’s all on the table. But the risk of those things coming true is the entry price to impact. It might be THE thing standing between you and where you want to be.

Are you interested in watching me take my next at-bat? The talk is on October 11th from 12:00-1:00 in Ankeny. If you’re hanging around central Iowa that day, I’d be so grateful and honored if you decide to spend your lunch with us. Tickets are $15 for non-members, which includes the cost of your lunch. So you’re maybe paying $5 to hear me speak…….I’m hoping to add way more value than that!