What's Most Important?

Wow! I blinked and a year went by. 2022 was filled with so much beauty, struggle, uncertainty, wonder, and pain. Though many things didn’t go as I would have hoped, it was a wonderful year and I genuinely believe I served my purpose. It would be easy for me to dwell on my failures, but today I’m going to celebrate the wins. There’s much to be thankful for.

As we dive head-first into the new year, here’s my question: what’s most important to you? Many people will clearly know their answer…..then spend the next 365 days making decisions that are incongruent with it. This is my challenge to you today. Really think about what’s most important to you for 2023, then align your decisions with that answer. It’s a scary journey when we do that. To aggressively pursue our greatest calling despite cultural norms, financial pressures, and personal desires is a daunting task. But it’s a task worth pursuing.

To be honest, I’m scared of what it means in my life. I know what my answer is. I know what decisions I need to make to align with my answer. It’s going to be hard. Strike that. It will likely be one of the most difficult things I’ve ever endeavored. I’m ready (I think), and I hope you are, too.

Cheers to the crazy year we’re saying goodbye to, and the unlimited possibilities of the year upon us. Happy New Year, Everyone! The best is yet to come.

Too Much of a Good Thing

I get a massage once every six weeks or so. It’s absolutely wonderful!. I decided to prioritize this about 18 months ago, and I’m so glad I did. For me, this is an occasional luxury that adds richness to my life. There’s part of me that wishes I did it every week. But that very idea also brings to mind a concept I think about often. It’s possible to have too much of a good thing. Part of what makes this little luxury so enjoyable is the anticipation and the scarcity. If I did this every week, it would just become a normal ho-hum thing…..like brushing my teeth or taking a shower.

That’s the tightrope we walk with “good things.” It’s possible to have too much of a good thing. Travel and dining out are other fantastic examples. They also happen to be at the top of my list of fun things to do. Part of what makes them special to me is they aren’t every day. There’s a scarcity in it……oh the anticipation! I look forward to them. I enjoy looking at the menus and online reviews of potential restaurants, just as I enjoy researching upcoming trips. Flights, hotels, sights, and of course restaurants. There’s a simple pleasure in the planning and anticipation.

A while back I met with a client who was spending north of $2,000/per month on dining out. On the surface, this sounds wonderful! So many different experiences and flavors. However, they are quick to note, “we don’t even enjoy doing it anymore. It’s just something we do and it feels kind of empty.” Wow! This is the very definition of having too much of a good thing. My suggestion to them was to majorly cut back on dining out, then be very intentional when going on those experiences. Fast forward a few months, it has been transformational for them. They enjoy it so much more than in the past 4-5 years. There’s something special about it and they get excited for the next one.

Yes, lean into those good things. Whatever they are in your life, they are important. But remember, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. Create scarcity and anticipation….you’ll thank yourself later.

The Fear of the Unknown

I recently had an initial coaching session with a new client. They were excited to get started, but honestly more scared than anything. This is fairly typical and I expect that going in. I used to be surprised by this, especially from families who are obviously (to me) doing well. Here’s what I’ve learned, though. Most people don’t truly know how well they are doing (or not doing). All they know is their situation, and have little else to compare it to. They may feel like a mess behind the walls of their own home, and all they see from everyone else is the tidy curated exterior. This breeds a quiet feeling of failure.

So when we sit around a table and begin to look at their finances head-on, there’s a fear. It’s not a fear of the known, but rather a fear of the unknown. This may be the first time in a while (if ever) they’ve looked this closely at their finances. The fear of the unknown is almost always worse than reality.

One of my favorite parts of these meetings is when the couple shifts from a posture of anxiety and fear to cautious confidence mixed with building optimism. They go from the fear of the unknown to an understanding of reality…..and oftentimes a reality that far exceeds what they thought was possible.

This fear of the unknown is the same reason people don’t go to the doctor, don’t open their mail, don’t apply for that job, and don’t step on the scale. It’s that dang unknown. Just like all these other areas, when we step through our fear of the unknown in our finances, we’re often surprised that our reality is much better than what we’ve been fearing. And once we have awareness, that’s when the real work (and progress) begins.

Even Mrs. Claus Fell For It!

One of my favorite holiday activities is to watch Christmas movies with the kids. We watch all the usual suspects. Home Alone (just the first two, of course), Elf, Christmas Story, Rudolph, Frosty, and of course the Santa Clause series. After watching the three Santa Clause movies (though 2 and 3 are very suspect and I question how they made the permanent rotation), we decided to check out the new Santa Clause series on Disney Plus.

It’s been 28 years since Tim Allen negligently murdered the previous Santa and first put on the oversized pants and jacket. A lot of life has happened in those 28 years. The first episode opens with Santa doing his normal Christmas Eve toy delivery rounds, though it was a less-than-perfect experience. On the heels of his big night, he’s debriefing with Mrs. Claus. It was during this exchange a little piece of me died. We’re at the 14:30 mark in the opening episode:

Santa: *Explaining the bad things he experienced and how it was weird and concerning*

Mrs. Claus: “It happens”

Santa: “It happens!?!? How many Santas do you know? It never happend to me.”

Mrs. Claus: “I’m just saying that you’re 65 and this is when people your age slow down, they start to enjoy their lives, they retire.”

Wait, what!?!? Did Mrs. Claus just say Santa should start “enjoying life” and suggest the way for that to happen is to retire? He’s freaking Santa Claus!!! He has the best career on the planet. He lives in a majestic snow-covered village, aided by an army of elves, eating unlimited quantities of baked goods and perfect hot chocolate, waking up every day to put smiles on millions of children’s faces! And he needs to retire so he can enjoy life? At 65, he has a solid 15-20 years left in him. The best years of his career are still in front of him!

Even Mrs. Claus fell for our culture’s toxic perspective of work. Deep within our culture is narrative that work = bad…..and conversely, not working = good. We work because we have to. A necessary evil of sorts. A means to an end. I don’t think this could be further from the truth.

If done well, and for the right reasons, work should provide so much fulfillment and meaning. Using our passions and gifts to add value to society. Being productive, creating impact, serving others. ALL work can play this role, but for most, it doesn’t. Studies show 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs. This is a modern day tragedy.

Hating our work is a natural outcome if we view our work as a necessary evil and a bridge between our crappy life today and the “slow down and finally enjoy life” tomorrow. What if I told you we can have our cake and eat it, too? We can wake up each day excited for the good work we’re about to do (i.e. enjoying life) and someday when we can no longer work, we enjoy that life as well. Our enjoyment of life isn’t found in a bank account, the possessions we own, the dwelling we live in, or perpetual leisure. It goes so much deeper…..and good work plays a vital role.

Mrs. Claus fell for it, and so too are millions more.

Cost vs. Value

I’ve had $5 meals that were a rip-off and $200 meals that were a bargain. It’s easy to look at those two prices and naturally assume it’s the other way around. After all, $5 isn’t much and $200 is far too much. However, we tend to look at just one side of the coin: cost. When assessing purchases in our lives, we need to look at both cost AND value. The cost matters, but the value is equally important. In order to determine if the cost is worth it, whether $5 or $200, we need to understand the value to us.

Here’s the catch. We all have a different measuring stick and a varying set of interests by which we assess value. Some of you may see $200 tied to the price of a single meal and it makes you want to literally or figuratively vomit. I totally understand that. Through your lens, and your value system, there can’t possibly be enough value derived from a $200 meal to justify it in a million years. On the other hand, many of you know exactly what I’m talking about and you can absolutely see how an amazing $200 meal is worth it.

This starts to lean into the idea of cheap vs. frugal. Cheap is an inability to spend money, whereas frugal is the determination to only spend on things that add more value than they cost. So yes, a $200 meal could still be considered a frugal purchase if the perceived value is high enough.

As I always say about budgeting and spending, “the objective isn’t to spend less, but rather to spend better.” Better is better, and my better is different than your better. The sooner we tune out the noise created by everyone around us and start leaning into our own unique values, the sooner we find contentment and satisfaction in our spending.

What’s something you find valuable for the price but most perceive as a rip-off?

The Curse of Comparison

When I was growing up, the only Christmas I experienced was my own. I knew what it looked like in my home, and my friends theirs. Technology changed the game with the invention of social media. Maybe some of you are in the same camp, but I spent some time scrolling through Facebook and Instagram yesterday. Christmas post after Christmas post. And maybe some of you can also relate to having a multitude of feelings when seeing other people’s Christmas celebrations. Feelings such as:

• “They look happier than us”

• “They have more presents than us”

• Their house is a lot nicer than ours”

• “They have way better food than we’re having”

• “Their trip looks way more fun than being in this frigid weather”

If you had any thoughts such as these, you’re not alone. I’m guessing many of us did. After all, it’s human nature. It’s the curse of comparison, and social media amplifies it unlike anything we’ve ever dealt with before. There are a few major problems with comparison:

1) We only compare ourselves to people who have more or better than we have. We rarely stop to compare ourselves to those who are less fortunate than us……which by the way is the vast majority of the world.

2) There’s always someone with more than us to compare ourselves to. Even Jeff Bezos, the 5th richest person in the world, could compare himself to Elon Musk (2nd richest person in the world) and jealously wish he had that additional $50 billion. No matter how well we have it, we’ll find someone to compare ourselves to. Whether it’s family, a job, a house, status, cars, or presents under the tree, we’ll definitely find someone to unfairly compare ourselves to.

3) Comparison robs us of appreciating what we do have. I have so much in life, but after spending 10 minutes on Facebook this afternoon, I felt like a nothing. It can be demoralizing at times, so it’s important to always take time to reflect on and be grateful for what we do have.

4) Social media is people’s highlight reel. It portrays them at their absolute best, the way they want to be seen, in a moment of time. We don’t know what’s happening in the other 99.9% of their lives. Sadly, many are hurting just like you and me. So when we see their social media post, don’t extrapolate them to believe their lives are perfect and pristine. I promise you they aren’t.

No matter what your Christmas looked like, I hope it was your version of amazing filled with special moments, time with loved ones, and memories that will last a lifetime. Merry Christmas!

Magnifying Meaning

Last night was awesome, filled with many cherished family traditions. Christmas Eve service with my family, including the always anticipated candlelight singing of Silent Night. Dinner at a Chinese restaurant. Snuggling on the couch watching Christmas movies. And last, but not least, a reading of The Night Before Christmas.

Traditions are special to us, but it’s not really about the traditions. It’s about those who we share the traditions with. For me, it’s my wife and kids. My boys are six now, so at this young age, they experience it a little differently each year.

I often talk about the idea of pursuing meaning. People generally nod their heads in agreement at this concept, but their actions oftentimes say otherwise. In their defense, the allure of money is attractive enough to lose sight of meaning. I get it…..I’ve been there! But moments like this, cherished holidays or traditions, are like a magnifying glass on our meaning….or lack thereof. It’s like looking into one of those cosmetic mirrors in hotel bathrooms. We see ourselves in the mirror every day, but it can be startling to see ourselves that close and that clearly. Sometimes we don’t like what we see. Holidays do that to us. They lay bare what we truly value and where we invest in life.

As I was sitting in Christmas Eve service watching my two little guys anchored on each side of me, proudly holding their “grown-up candles” while singing Silent Night, I couldn’t help but get emotional. The meaning was magnified in that moment, and it reminded me exactly why I do the things I do. Not so we can have more, but so we can have better. So I can model each and every day what it looks like to wake up with a heart to serve others and serve our God. In years past, I’m not sure I liked what I saw when the magnifying glass hit me. But the last few years (and this year)? It showed me I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. I hope you felt the same way.

Merry Christmas!

Not Making It About Money

A while back, a client called me with an idea. Well, it was partly an idea and partly wanting me to tell them “no.” There was an opportunity on the table for them, but it felt like a bad financial decision. They were right…..it was a terrible financial decision. There was no possible way to spin this into a “good financial move.” However, by the time our 15-minute conversation concluded, I strongly encouraged them to do it anyway. This shocked them.

Why would a money guy encourage a client to make a bad financial decision!?!? It’s simple: money is NEVER about money. It’s always about something bigger. To me, this decision was the biggest no-brainer on the planet. There were countless upsides to this decision, with money being the only downside.

As the conversation was coming to an end, I encouraged them to pray about it, discuss it some more, and confidently make the best decision for them. They ended up choosing the bad financial decision. I was so proud of them for taking a counter-cultural approach of not letting money drive their decision. Instead of carrying the guilt and pressure of making financial progress, they made a decision that significantly improved their quality of life.

Fast forward several months, I excitedly asked them how they feel about this decision now that it has played out over time. They responded, “that decision has already paid off ten-fold.” Meaning over money. Always meaning over money.

A Story Will Be Told

I once had the privilege of hearing Danny Meyer speak at an event. If that name doesn’t ring a bell, he’s the founder of Shake Shack, as well as many other high-end culinary institutions. I was excited to hear him speak simply because I love food. However, he told a non-food story that captivated me and has made a lasting impact on how I view life and business.

I don’t remember the details, so I’ll paraphrase. There was once a large group dining in a private room at one of his high-end restaurants. All was going well until the waiter accidentally spilled a bottle of red wine on a woman’s $10,000 dress. To call that a simple mistake would be an understatement. They screwed up, big time! This is the part of the story that gripped me:

“The moment a mistake is made, a story WILL be told. But we have the power to influence what story they will tell.”

He goes on to explain the over-the-top reparations his team quickly enacted to make the situation right. They comped a very large dinner bill, they threw in some add-ons, and they even contacted the designer of the woman’s dress to find out how to quickly get her a new one. They went above and beyond. Why? They wanted to do the right thing for the right reasons. Instead of telling a story about incompetence and negligence, the diners tell a story of generosity, service, and humility.

I screw up…..often. Each time I do, I think about Danny Meyer’s talk. Sometimes when I screw up, a story will be told. But I have the power to influence what story will be told. This applies to my business, my ministry, my relationships, and pretty much every area of life. I’m sure people think a lot of different things about me, but if I’m doing my part right, I hope at least generosity, service, and humility get included!

Looking Down the Mountain

We just recorded our 107th and final Meaning Over Money podcast episode of the year. That’s two episodes per week plus three bonus episodes. After typing that number, even I second-guessed whether that’s true. 107? Wow! That’s more than 30 hours of finished product content. Did that really happen? How did that happen?!?

Truth is, it didn’t feel like a lot as we were living it out. It was episode by episode, day by day, one foot in front of the other. It’s like climbing a mountain. While we’re in the midst of the climb, it doesn’t feel like we’re making a lot of progress. We climb, climb, and climb, and the peak doesn’t seem to get much closer. It’s only when we turn around and look down, we realize how far we’ve come. We know we’ve been climbing for a while, but it’s breathtaking to see just how high we are when we take a moment to look back.

I think this is a perfect metaphor for so many areas of life. Through all the hustle and bustle, comings and goings, we often fail to look down the mountain to see just how far we’ve come. In our finances, fitness, relationships, careers, skills, experience, faith, and so many more. Instead, we spend our time beating ourselves up, wishing we were better, and comparing ourselves to someone else. Instead of being proud and content with what we accomplished, we fixate on everything we wish we had done. Instead of celebrating the wins, we dwell on the losses. Or maybe that’s just me…..

If 21-year-old me could hop in a time machine to see what 41-year-old me would accomplish over those 20 years, I think he’d be pleased. It’s been an awfully steep mountain. I wish I would look down more often.

This Is Pointless

I recently became a partner in a start-up coffee company, Northern Vessel. Today marks the one-month anniversary of our brick-and-mortar opening. By any metric or measurement, the most appropriate way to describe the results of the last month is, well, meteoric. It’s been far greater than we could have ever imagined, and for that we’re grateful.

I’ve had lots of people ask me why Northern Vessel has experienced so much success, so quickly. My answer is always the same: failure and persistence. While Northern Vessel is a start-up, this is actually the fourth iteration of the company. We call it NV 4.0. The concept was birthed five years ago when our founder, TJ Rude, lived in Los Angeles and fell in love with their unique coffee culture. Soon after that, NV 1.0 was born. It was a coffee cart that served up their signature Cold Brew Lattes at grad parties, weddings, and other events worth celebrating. I was first introduced to NV at a grad party for one of my youth group kids and was immediately fascinated.

During COVID, as all events were shut down, NV started a delivery service (NV 2.0), where TJ would hand-deliver larger batches of drinks right to people’s doors (which is the first time I met TJ…..at my front door with a big bottle of Cold Brew Latte in his hands). It was during this stretch of time that Alex Prins, our creative and branding guru, entered the mix. TJ and Alex made a fantastic team and they had pretty big dreams about what NV could someday become. As COVID waned, they reopened their cart outside a restaurant…..then eventually took occupancy in that restaurant space (NV 3.0). Then suddenly, it all just ended. Due to a combination of factors, TJ pulled the plug and NV ceased to exist in any material form. Though I still wasn’t involved at that point, my heart broke for them….especially TJ. This was his baby and his dream. You can listen to a great podcast episode where TJ tells his story HERE.

Fast forward a year, from an outside perspective NV is an overnight success. When I think about NV, I think about this image:

From @visualizevalue on IG. Go follow them!

What people don’t see today is the blood, sweat, and tears TJ put in for nearly a half-decade. Or the awesome work Alex put in for the last 2+ years. They didn’t see the brutal grind, long hours, low pay, and less-than-glamorous lifestyle these two guys lived. I coached both of these guys for a season and I can attest nobody would have been jealous of their budgets or bank accounts. They were a couple of guys with a big dream, filled to the brim with passion, and talent coming out their ears.

I think the world is a better place because of what they built. Had TJ and Alex just walked away, thousands of people wouldn’t have the opportunity to enjoy it today. We all reach a point on our journey where it just feels pointless. We aren’t seeing the fruit, we encounter obstacle after obstacle, and it would just be easier to quit. It makes me wonder how many books, songs, businesses, ministries, and movies end up in a grave because their creators thought it was pointless and simply walked away. What if they were just one year, one month, or one week away from it all finally clicking?

What if it’s not pointless? What if it’s actually what you’re meant to do?

Calendar: "Feed Travis"

As I discussed in a prior post, I had a brutal Thanksgiving this year. Instead of spending time with family and enjoying too much delicious food, I was left home alone writhing in the fetal position (sick as sick can be) while my family was enjoying the festivities. To be honest, it was as emotionally exhausting as it was physical.

Despite all the loneliness, fatigue, fever, and pain, there was one silver lining amongst all the disasters of my holiday. Sarah, nervous about me and fearful I’d probably just whither away, made arrangements with some friends to bring me some Thanksgiving dinner. Accompanying her communication of this news was a screenshot from our friend’s phone calendar to ensure I knew what time they would be arriving:

“Feed Travis.” It was a playful way to schedule a simple gesture. Except it wasn’t a simple gesture to me. At some points that day, it was the only thing getting me through the misery. I looked forward to that moment all day. To me, it was a massive, thoughtful, sacrificial act of generosity. To them, it was dropping leftovers off at a friend’s house on the way home from a family gathering. To me, it was everything. And let me tell you, it was EVERYTHING I imagined it could be. They brought a feast, and it was nothing short of amazing.

Simple acts, huge impact. Generosity looks like that sometimes……er, most times. When we share what God has blessed us with and honor what is His, it has the ability to change people and make an impact. There’s no such thing as a small gift. Each and every gift we make has the possibility of creating a ripple effect we may never fully realize.

If what I just said is true, imagine the influence, impact, and opportunity at your fingertips each day. What are you waiting for? Let’s do this!

It’s Never Too Late

Last weekend, a friend approached me and said he had news wanted to share with me. Immediately, his eyes welled up as he started talking. He excitedly shared with me how he and his wife had just become debt free and set into motion a dream they had talked about for so long.

Any time someone shares a big win, I celebrate with them. However, this one felt different. I worked with them nearly a decade ago…..with very little success. And that experience came on the heels of very little success for the prior several decades. Literally decades of wishing, wanting, and not seeing it materialize. But not this time! This time they did it!

It’s never too late. This couple could have given up decades ago, conceding the system was rigged against them. I’m so glad they didn’t. In that moment, I could see so many regrets, mistakes, and failings wipe away from him. It’s like they dissolved right there in an instant.

It’s never too late to do the thing you’ve constantly failed at, were too scared to try, or kept putting off for any number of reasons. It’s never too late!

Relationships Over Riches

In my public speaking, a common thread I like to pull is one revolving around the science of happiness. Specifically, the decades of research conducted to figure out if money makes us happy. It does, and it doesn’t. It does……until our basic needs are met (plus a little more). Then, additional money doesn’t make us much happier. There’s more to unpack here in a future post, but I want to get to the next part of what I share in my public talks.

If money doesn’t make us happy, what does? Behavioral scientists have found several things that help drive happiness in ways money cannot. Towards the top of the list is genuine relationships. You know, the real deal, be honest with each other, support one another through thick and thin, accept each other even if we disagree type of relationships. Science shows those types of relationships significantly drive happiness.

Last night, I attended the wedding of a dear friend. Her name is Megan. I met Megan shortly after she turned 15 years old. She was a youth group kid and I was one of her leaders. To this day, I still can’t put my finger on why she and I connected so well. I was there when she got her license, when she started dating her first boyfriend, when she won the state basketball championship, when she welcomed my twin babies as if they were her own flesh and blood, when she graduated high school, when she started her student teaching, when she graduated from college, when she got her first adult job, and when she met the man she would soon call her husband. We’ve been through a lot together!

Today, she’s my close friend and my little sister. And her husband? His name is Collin and he’s like a brother to me as well. As I was sitting in the banquet hall last night, I couldn’t help but look around and think about how important so many of those people in the room are to me…..and to Megan and Collin. These people have deeply impacted my life in so many ways. It’s moments like this when I’m quickly reminded how meaningless so many of life’s “important” things are. If someone put a gun to my head, I’d take my people over all the trappings this life has to offer.

Collin and Megan, I love you and I’m proud of you!

My people, you know who you are! Thank you. You make life worth living, and you are worth far more to me than the riches of this planet can provide.

Suffering in Silence

It’s always heartbreaking to hear the constant news of suicides in our country. It’s tragic and far too common these days. This topic came into full view this week with the tragic suicide of a celebrity especially known for his joy and positivity. How can someone so popular, beloved, positive, and joyful take their own life? Unfortunately, so many people suffer in silence. What we see on the surface isn’t necessarily what’s underneath.

I used to have a road rage problem. Just ask my friend Brook from our Memphis days…..yikes! When people would react obscenely or aggressively toward me, I would freak out. I’m lucky I didn’t get myself killed. Then one day, I heard someone say something that forever changed my perspective (and how I try to handle myself). When we cross paths with people throughout the course of life, we don’t know what they are dealing with at that moment. Today may be the worst day of their life. They may have just received heartbreaking news, experienced a broken relationship, lost their job, or a myriad of other circumstances.

I often get asked how I navigate my client relationships with empathy and patience. I think it’s primarily because I know people are dealing with lots of life. But in our coaching, that life (good, bad, and ugly) comes to the forefront. So while everyone else wonders why x person would make y decision, I have a front-row seat to what’s really going on behind the curtain. It’s a privilege and an honor, and one I don’t take lightly.

When you’re out living life, always remember that so many around you are suffering in silence. Just being aware of this fact allows us the opportunity to make a positive impact on their lives. Or conversely, not make a negative impact on it.

I know today’s message isn’t as cheery as most days, but maybe that’s the trigger we each need today to be a force of encouragement and light to someone silently living in the dark.

Generosity is Caught, Not Taught

One of our six-year-olds, Finn, has a selfish streak in him. While Pax is always quick to share and give, Finn likes when things are about Finn. He’s less likely to share, more likely to take, and prefers when people bend their will to his desires. I’m sure many parents can relate to this story.

Finn has his own Christmas tree on his nightstand. It’s actually a shared tree between the two kids, but Finn is Finn. It’s a tiny little tree, obnoxiously filled to the brim with gaudy ornaments and lights. It’s very Finn-like. Yesterday morning before school, he was walking around the house with his tree’s LED star topper. When I asked what he was doing, he said, “I’m going to give this to Miss C (his teacher). Her tree needs it more than mine does.” This is one of his prized possessions! I was there when he presented this to his teacher just an hour later. She was quite taken back…..almost brought to tears. She walked him over to the classroom tree and let him place it atop. It was a very sweet moment.

To be honest, there are days when I wonder if my parenting is working in any shape or form. But I always go back to a quote I once heard, “more is caught than taught.” We as parents (or colleagues, neighbors, family members, etc.) need to remember this. We can say things until the cows come home. It may or may not make any difference….probably not. But when we live it? When we live it is when it comes alive! People are watching. People are always watching. They are watching what we do, not what we say.

Be generous. Always be generous. Then when in doubt, be generous some more. When we live in an open-handed posture of generosity, it becomes contagious. Not immediately, and not for everyone, but most certainly someone. And often, it’s the people we spend the most time with.

Dear God, please let my kids see, feel, and own the spirit of generosity - today and always. Amen!

Permission to Push Pause

I love it when people gain traction in their finances. They know what they are trying to accomplish, they get intentional, they make sacrifices, and they execute. It’s a beautiful thing. There’s a sense of satisfaction, confidence, and accomplishment that comes from such an experience.

But then, life happens! A job change, a wedding, a baby, a relocation, a career shift, a medical emergency, a new small business idea, kids college……the list goes on and on. These things are the very definition of life. There’s nothing linear about life. It’s a series of twists and turns, tragedies and delights, anxiety and confidence, sadness and joy.

While on a financial journey, especially if we’re really locked in and making progress, it can be easy to get fixated on the financial matters. After all, financial progress is a good thing. However, it can’t be the most important thing. If our finances become the most important thing, we’ve lost the game. Our finances should serve our life, not the other way around.

For that reason, you have permission to push pause. When life happens, we need to give ourselves permission to push pause on the finances and address the life in front of us. No guilt, no regrets, no second-guessing. Yes, this money stuff is important…….but the other things are more important.

I have multiple clients that have pushed pause on some of their financial endeavors so they can focus on life. Some of the best things life has to offer, and some of the worst things life has to offer. The highest of highs, the lowest of lows, and everything in between. In each of those scenarios, they needed to push pause for a season. Not forever…..just for now. It was hard at first, but their finances serve their life, not the other way around.

* This idea was given to me by my dear friend Tracy. If you have ideas for future blog posts or podcast episodes, I’d love to hear them!

The Parable of the Cyclone Tickets

In August of 2021, some dear friends generously gifted my family season tickets to Iowa State Cyclone football. It was such a sweet gesture, and those games created so many wonderful memories for our family. We were beyond grateful for the gift.

A few people asked me why we would accept that gift. After all, we didn’t “need” their generosity. We could have purchased our own tickets if we really wanted to. While that’s factually true, I believe this is a selfish and short-sighted way to view generosity. My friends didn’t buy tickets for us because we were in a place of “need.” Rather, they made this gift because they wanted to bless us. When that happened, I had two choices: humbly and gratefully receive their gift……or steal their blessing by turning them down. I chose a posture of humility and gratitude.

Generosity needs to be a two-way street. We can’t be truly generous if we refuse to be humble and grateful receivers. When we learn to accept generosity from others, it unlocks something special in our faith journey and our relationships with others.

Fast forward to this season: we purchased our own season tickets. It most certainly wouldn’t have happened had we not experienced all the blessings that came from the generous gift the prior year. Similar to last year, we created so many fun memories together as a family. Tailgating, playing catch on the hill, cheering for our team, watching the band, stalking the mascot, and concession snacks. There were a handful of games we weren’t able to attend this year, so we did what felt natural: we found people to bless with our generosity. It was fun watching people enjoy our tickets, creating memories with their own families. One of them was my cousin. She and her husband were able to attend a game featuring each of their alma maters, as well as share the experience of taking their young son to his first-ever college football game. It was pure joy to make that gift, and I’m grateful they accepted it.

This is the parable of the Cyclone Tickets. You give, then receive, then give, then receive. It’s one of the things that makes life beautiful.

A Weird New World

Ok, something a little different today. Check out this poem about my friend, Gary Hoag:

Gary Hoag was a man with a heart of gold

His passion for giving was never old

He dedicated his life to spreading the light

Of Christian generosity with all his might

With a vision to inspire and a mission to lead

Gary Hoag set out to fulfill a great need

In the world of Christian giving, he took the reins

And showed us all the power of charitable gains

His impact was felt far and wide

As people were moved by his generous pride

They followed in his footsteps, each step with care

And together they built a community of givers who'd share

Gary Hoag will be remembered for all he did do

To make the world a better place, through and through

His legacy lives on in the hearts of those he touched

And in the world of Christian generosity, his impact is much

We give thanks for Gary Hoag and the light he brought

And continue to carry on his message of love and thought

For it is through giving that we truly find

The true meaning of Christian generosity in our lives.

Now you may be thinking to yourself, “I never pictured Travis as a poet.” Your gut doesn’t mislead you…..I’m not. You’d have to fact-check this with my Mom, but I’m not sure I’ve written a single poem in my 41 years on this planet. This poem was written in 15 seconds by artificial intelligence (“AI”). Gary and I were spending some time together over Zoom last night when the topic of AI came up. We spent some time messing around with its power of creating, compiling, altering, and expounding on ideas. It’s truly remarkable, and scary, what we’re looking at. To have so much knowledge and computing power available at our fingertips is a wild idea. What does this do to education, writing, research, law, engineering, and a number of other fields? It’s hard to say, honestly.

Here’s one thing I do know. We can’t wish it away. We can’t sit back and say we don’t want it to exist. It’s here…..and it’s probably not going away. Will we wake up one day in a world that looks like Terminator 2? Perhaps. But in the meantime, we’re living in a world where everyone has access to these tools with limited or no cost (the software we were using is 100% free).

And like most other innovations and technologies we as mankind has invented, we can use them for good or for evil. But we each get to pick. The choice is ours and ours alone. I’m not sure how AI will play a role in my life and my business, but I hope whatever it is I will use it for good. With great power comes great responsibility. Welcome to our weird new world!

Today's Work Matters

Happy Monday! If you’re reading this, there’s a strong chance you’re working today. If so, thank you. Your work matters. Whatever you do, someone’s life will be better as a result of your good work. That someone may be your colleague, or your boss, or your client, or your customer, or someone I’m not even thinking about. But rest assured, when you do good work, the world is a better place. Your work matters. Thank you for doing the hard work. When your head hits the pillow tonight, I hope you feel a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. If we’re blessed, we’ll have the opportunity to do it again tomorrow. When that happens, I’ll be grateful for you again. Your work matters.