Putting the Pieces Together

What does it mean to win with money? I could ask 20 people and get 20 different answers. We all view it through a different lens. We each possess different skills, and we each have our shortcomings. Some things we'll get right, and other things may be more of a challenge. We don't have to nail every aspect, but it's important to remove any glaring deficiencies. Most families thrive in some areas and struggle in others. 

However, I recently met with a couple who inspired me to write about this topic. I've worked with this couple for over a year, but this meeting was particularly inspiring. They are a younger-ish couple, both teachers. In my mind, they've cracked the code on personal finance. No, they aren't geniuses in any one area, but they are doing good in pretty much every area. I'll summarize:

• They have unity, a shared vision, and joint ownership of their finances.

• They budget intentionally each month, leaning into their unique values.

• They have an emergency fund to protect them for WHEN life punches.

• They spend money on wants that add value to their life.

• They utilize sinking funds to save for future purchases/expenses.

• They give joyfully and sacrificially.

• They paid off all their non-mortgage debt.

• They invest with discipline, simplicity, and effectiveness.

• They have cheap term life insurance policies that will replicate each person's respective income in the event of a tragic event. 

• They are in the process of setting up wills.

• They both pursue work that matters, and find meaning and fulfillment in their careers.

• They are creating financial margin to provide flexibility for future decisions and lifestyle shifts.

They are the total package! No, it's not because they have massive incomes and unlimited resources. Reminder, they are both teachers. They are normal people, making normal money, living a normal life. Except it's not a normal life. It's an extraordinary life.

What's their secret? Intentionality, discipline, humility, contentment, and consistency. That's it. Good choice after good choice after good choice. Oh yeah, and that whole unity, shared vision, and joint ownership thing. They are doing it together. There is no "mine" and "yours." Everything is "ours." For better or worse. 

Yes, this is an opportunity for me to brag about this amazing couple. However, there's more to it. I hope you find encouragement in it. We ALL have the power to get better in the areas of money. The only thing stopping us is us. It's not easy, but it's so, so worth it. Get 1% better today! Then, get 1% better tomorrow. One day at a time. You got this!

Ace Ventura Spitting Wisdom

The laces were in! That Ray Finkle, man. Ace Ventura was one of the first adult comedies I ever saw as a kid. I was 13 years old, at a sleepover, and we somehow got our hands on this newly released VHS starring an unknown actor named Jim Carrey. The opening scene with the package delivery remains one of the funniest intros in movie history! Needless to say, this immediately became, and decades later, remains one of my all-time favorite comedies. 

I could probably find a way to tie Ace Ventura to Meaning Over Money, but I’ll spare you. Instead, I want to discuss a statement I recently heard from Jim Carrey:

“Imagine struggling with being homeless and someone comes with a camera in your face to give you a meal and you have to take it. Imagine that feeling. Please, stop doing that. If you go to help someone, do it with kindness and not your ego.

In a world with cameras in every pocket, it’s our natural inclination to capture and share everything. But let’s not blame the technology, though. For centuries - long before cell phones and cameras were invented - we humans have operated all areas of our lives with ego. If that’s true, why would our giving be an exception?

I can’t get on social media without some person or organization boasting about a gift they just made for some cause. Have you ever seen a GoFundMe page? Call me weird, but I obsessively watch the donation ticker that announces everyone’s gifts. If you aren’t familiar with the concept, when you make a gift on GoFundMe, it blasts the news of your gift to the main page for all to see, where it boldly displays your name and how much you gave. However, it’s worth noting that when you make a gift, you get to choose if your name is displayed or is classified as “anonymous.” Any guess as to how many people give anonymously? By my numerous tallies, only about 5%-7% of gifts are anonymous.

Here’s a question I’ll challenge you with today. If you make a gift and publicly broadcast said gift, is it likely your motives are pure? I’d argue the answer is “no.” I’ve pondered this a lot in my own giving journey. Several years ago, realizing I am a human, I conceded I’m not immune to this, either. I quickly concluded that I needed to eliminate anything that would taint the spirit of my giving….especially the possibility of earning favor, influence, affirmation, or pats on the back. Therefore, almost all my giving is done quietly and anonymously, so much so that some organizations don’t even know where their gifts are coming from. This shift has been a transformational experience. 

Here’s where I want to land this plane (er, errant Ray Finkle field goal attempt). I firmly believe there’s no endeavor in life more meaningful than giving with pure motives. Don’t believe me? There’s only one way to find out! 

* After finishing this piece, I feel incomplete and somewhat unsettled. There is more to discuss on this topic than my 500 words will allow, so perhaps treat this one as an appetizer. Have a blessed day!

How Many Apples Are In a Seed?

Check out this awesome clip!

@uconnwbb these two 🥹 #uconnwomensbasketball #bleedblue ♬ original sound - UConn Women’s Basketball

This touching moment involves UCONN's Coach Geno Auriemma and Nika Muhl. Nika just wrapped up her UCONN basketball career and was drafted into the WNBA just a few weeks ago. This is easily the best thing I've seen all day!

I often refer to the idea of planting seeds. A quick word search of my blog archives reveals that I've discussed this concept in 14 prior posts. When I see a video clip like this and can feel the relationship this player and coach share, it strikes me as a quintessential example of planting seeds. 

Coach Geno is 70 years old, and for the last 40 of them, he has been at the helm of UCONN's women's basketball team. When I see the bond he shares with Nika and the impact he's clearly had on her life, I can't help but wonder how many seeds he's planted over the years. 

This past weekend, while at a generosity conference, a speaker began talking about planting seeds. Oh, you know I was leaning forward for this one! She cut into an apple and started picking out seeds. "You can count how many seeds are in an apple, but you can't count how many apples are in a seed." 

That's one of the most powerful ideas I've ever heard. Planting a seed is one thing, but the ripple effects are another. Let's say we plant ten seeds, and only one takes hold and grows (into an apple tree, of course). That tree will produce hundreds or thousands of apples, each filled with numerous seeds. Eventually, some of those new seeds will take hold and grow trees as well......and the cycle continues. From a single seed comes an immeasurable number of apples. A single act of planting a seed could result in multiple generations of impact. Beautiful!

Back to Coach Geno and Nika. He planted seeds, and some (or tons) prospered.....including Nika. Now, she will spend the next 60+ years planting her own seeds, and some of them will prosper as well. Call me sentimental, but this is a profoundly moving illustration of living a life of service to others. 

Our call to action is simple: plant seeds. What happens after we plant is largely out of our control. However, know that good WILL come from your generosity. And when it does, the impact may span much wider and deeper than you'll ever know. 

Dents, Dings, and Impact

I recently had a curious exchange with a friend:

Him: "I got into a fender bender a few days ago."

Me: "Oh man, I'm so sorry."

Him: "No, it's kinda a good thing."

Me: "Uhhhhhh, why's that?"

Him: "I'm going to take a page out of your playbook and use it as an opportunity to do good."

Oh, wow! His comments were a reference to a blog post I wrote a few months ago about a car accident I experienced. Instead of fixing the damage, I elected to use that money to feed children in need. Now, every time I get into my car and see the horrendous-looking dent across the driver's side of my vehicle, it's a reminder of what's most important. 

I received a lot of feedback from that post, ranging from eye-rolling, to warnings that my damaged car is a "bad look" for me, to inspiration. Just in the past week, two separate people have mentioned the idea of doing something similar IF they are ever put in a similar position. 

I didn't know I had this dream, but I have a new dream: driving down the street and seeing a plethora of slightly damaged vehicles that are unrepaired because people chose generosity over image. It's a ridiculous idea with impactful results. 

This, of course, isn't really about damaged cars. Rather, it's about the idea of looking in the mirror and being honest with ourselves. What really is most important? Is it your lifestyle? Your image? Your fun? Your comfort? Or perhaps making a difference? Lifting people up? Blessing others? Creating impact? Be honest with yourself. I hope you choose the latter set of answers (or something that resembles it), but whatever your answer is, I encourage you to align your behavior to it. 

If your mission is for one spouse to stay home, you can't buy a new house and then claim you can't afford to shift one spouse out of the workforce.

If you desire to increase your giving, you can't purchase a new car and then claim you don't have enough margin to make it work. 

If you feel called to start a business, you can't insist on maintaining your current lifestyle while crying foul for being unable to financially navigate the journey.

Whatever your mission is, I hope you endeavor to align your behaviors to it. That's where meaning can be found. It's probably going to be a harder path, but nothing worthwhile comes without toil. In fact, the toil is what makes it all that much sweeter. 

I hope you have a wonderful day.....full of fender benders. Just kidding. Well, maybe just a little scratch. Again, just kidding. Or am I.....?

Small, Tiny, Unexpected, Amazing Wins

Parents, do you ever wonder if all your hard work is paying off? Seriously, it usually seems like our words are in one ear, out the other. Are they even listening? Are they even watching? Is it moving the needle? Am I completely screwing them up without even realizing it?

Then, out of the blue, when you need it most, you get the tiniest but most amazing win.

That happened to us yesterday. We were in the middle of a tough stretch. Finn didn't want to get dressed for church, and Pax stormed out of the room after I beat him at checkers. It was a mess. Pax recovered quickly, but Finn was spiraling.

Sensing this situation was heading in a bad direction, Pax took matters into his own hands. He walked into his bedroom, grabbed his wallet, and returned to the living room where Finn was melting down. I didn't know what he was doing, so I just kept my mouth shut and watched as a curious third party.

"Finn, I'll buy you a donut at church today," he said, reaching into his wallet to find a $1 bill. Finn wasn't in an emotional place to receive the gift, but I was so proud of Pax!

Pax is starting to understand the purpose of money. He's figured out that it's best used (and more fun) to make a difference in others. This isn't the first time I've seen this behavior from him, and I hope it won't be the last.

Money isn't easy to come by for a 7-year-old, so it's pretty sweet to see him proactively and excitedly try to use it to bless his twin brother (who was treating him poorly, by the way). I won't say he "gets it," but he's showing signs of starting to get it. As his parent, I'm definitely going to encourage the heck out of him. The seeds have been planted, and now we water.

Parents, keep your eyes open for the small, tiny, unexpected, amazing wins. We need them. Sometimes, that's the one thing that gives us enough energy to keep going. Small wins are still wins, and small wins will eventually turn into big wins. Keep watering!

Beware the Guilt Monsters

I recently gave a gift to someone, an acquaintance. It was a cool gift. It was a thoughtful gift. It was an impactful gift. It was a somewhat impulsive gift. As I usually do with giving, I will keep the details of this one confidential. For the sake of this piece, let's say it costs around $300. In any event, this gift significantly moved the recipient. It's unique, personal to them, totally unexpected, and meets them exactly where they need to be met. Huge win! (Side note: This gift made me happier than any personal use of this money could have possibly derived.)

Then, something else happened. Someone heard about this gift and hit me with, "It's not fair that you only gave to them." Ah, yes, this is where the guilt monsters come out to play. You know about the guilt monsters, don't you? They are the little comments, actions, and reactions that often circle moments of fortune or generosity. Sometimes, they are levied intentionally, while other times, it's bit more subconscious. Either way, it's a subtle way for people to say, "What about me?"

Guilt is a terrible boss. If we give in to the guilt monsters, two things can happen:

1. It alters our giving behavior to the point where we make gifts we wouldn't otherwise make, primarily to stave off the guilt monsters. 

2. It impairs our giving behavior by making it easier not to give than to give. After all, the guilt monsters won't come out to play if we simply refuse to be generous. 

Both of these outcomes are bad! In the first scenario, gifts are made to reduce guilt (instead of maximizing impact). In the second scenario, giving decreases or stops altogether. 

It's imperative that we tune out the guilt monsters. They aren't stopping, that's for sure. In fact, as you venture deeper into your generosity journey, it will only increase. To be frank, it sucks. There's no other way around it. On the flip side, however, the guilt monsters are a great indicator of where our giving shouldn't go. Whenever someone puts guilt on us, it should be an immediate red flag that they aren't in a healthy position to receive generosity. Good to know! It sucks, but it just helps us better fine-tune where our gifts should and shouldn't be made. 

One last thought on the guilt monsters. At some point, after ignoring the guilt monsters long enough, they don't seem to pester us as much. They realize their guilt monstering (I just coined the verb) doesn't work, so they need to guilt someone else. 

Don't let the toxic words, actions, and reactions of others break your generous spirit. If anything, let it embolden you. Double down on your giving. Nah, strike that. Triple down on your giving! Serve those who you are called to serve, do it with a joyful heart, use whatever you have to make an impact, and never lose sight of the meaning. 

The Drink That Satiates

When I was a kid, I distinctly remember an advertising battle between Coke and Pepsi. The rivalry ran so deep that they would openly bash one another in their TV and print ads (at least that's how my questionable childhood brain remembers it). Anyway, one of the nuances I remember playing out was this back-and-forth debate about taste tests. Despite Coke being the overwhelmingly favorite drink of consumers, Pepsi continually (and oddly) produced results showing they were preferred in taste tests.

Here's where things get interesting, and it has to do with one particular word: "taste." Pepsi would win taste tests, yet people would buy Coke. Why? People don't taste pop; they drink it. Pepsi's taste was more appealing (dare I say sexy?), but it wasn't satiating. The surface-level appeal works great as long as you're just tasting it......but that's not how the product is consumed.

Happiness is the same thing. It tastes great. It's extremely appealing....even sexy. We violently pursue it with our actions and behaviors (often counterproductively). But just like Pepsi, it's not satiating. And like our pop-drinking experience, we're not in the tasting business. We don't taste life.....we drink it….we live it.

This is why, in my humble but convicted opinion, we often live with a void in our lives. We do everything we can to fill this void with happiness, but happiness is fleeting. I drove my new (to me) 350Z for a bit yesterday. It was only 36 degrees out, but I rolled the top down and cranked up the Twenty One Pilots. It made me happy. It was pure fun. It was also fleeting. That's not to demean the experience or treat it as if it doesn't matter. Rather, it's fair to recognize money, stuff, and status cannot satiate us. They can provide a momentary jolt of happiness (tastes great!), but it doesn't fill the void.

It's okay to taste the Pepsis of life. They taste good! They're appealing. They're fun. Absolutely nothing wrong with that! On the flip side, we need to recognize those things can never and will never satiate. They aren't the prescription for what ails us. They aren't the solution to fill the void.

Instead, what we're really searching for meaning and fulfillment. We're looking for something that motivates us to get out of bed and gives us the opportunity to make a difference. That idea takes a few different forms. First, generosity. Generosity fills our tanks unlike any material self-satisfying purchase can. Generosity always wins, and the giver is often the biggest beneficiary of the gift. Second, we need to pursue work that matters. Not work that pays a ton. Not work that gives us status. Not work that's fun. Not work that's easy. Work that matters. Using our gifts and passions to make a difference. Be productive. Add value to others. It’s simple, but powerful.

That's the Coke of life. It's not as appealing or sexy, and it doesn't give us that instant jolt, but man, it satiates! Drink up!

What Goes Around Comes Around

When we first became parents, it was amazing how many people rallied around and supported us. The love we experienced in that season was unparalleled. I don't always remember the particulars (life was intense....and a blur), but I remember how it felt. I vividly recall the outpouring of generosity from so many people. Generosity always wins, and during that stretch of life, we were on the receiving end of so much beautiful generosity. I hope someday my kids will understand just how loved they were from the very beginning.

Fast forward seven years, and one of those generous individuals is about to have a baby. I'll never forget the generosity this person showed us when we became parents. This person impacted our family far more than they will ever know. Their love, support, and actions have created ripple effects that will span decades.

One of the beautiful things about generosity is that it's not a one-way street. What goes around comes around. Sometimes, we're on the giving end of generosity; other times, we're on the receiving end. It's essential to do both and be both. In fact, I would argue it's impossible to truly be generous without being able to accept generosity from others.

What goes around comes around. The tables are turning, and we're about ready to switch seats. When that happens, I hope we can show this growing family the same level of love, support, and generosity they showed us. They created ripple effects in our lives, and we have the opportunity to do the same in theirs. Not because we owe them, not because it's some form of payback, but because we love these people, and generosity always wins.

This is the most enjoyable part about generosity. What goes around comes around. When it does, we get to experience what true community looks like. There have been seasons in life when I needed the support and generosity of others, and there have been seasons when others needed our support and generosity. We don't perpetually live in one or another as much as we meander back and forth. Or, as often happens, we simultaneously live on both sides of this coin. A constant state of need and a constant state of generosity.

My encouragement today is to live on both sides of this equation. Be generous. Always be generous. Serve others with whatever you have to give. At the same time, always be willing to accept generosity from others. It will change you. It will change them. It will create genuine community. It will form lifelong bonds. It may also cause ripple effects that will span for decades. Generosity always wins!

You Aren’t Buying Subs

Every year, our youth group sells homemade sub sandwiches to our church members as a fundraiser to defray the cost of our summer mission trips. One week, the students pass out flyers and order forms; the next week, the sandwiches are made and available for pickup.

When I began participating in this event, it struck me as odd that they sold these subs for $5 each. Though I call it "odd," it was very much a normal approach. Sell a product, make a profit, raise money. I suggested eliminating prices altogether and letting people pay whatever they desire. There was understandable pushback to this idea. "What if people didn't pay anything?" "What if they paid less than $5?" "All our work could be for nothing." All valid concerns!

I posed a different perspective. Instead of treating people like they were buying subs, we should approach the event as though people were investing in the mission. It's true that if we charge $5 per sub, we'll absolutely receive $5 per sub. That's undeniable. However, on the flip side, the most we will receive is $5 per sub. $5 on the low end and $5 on the high end.....that's a narrow band.

Instead, if we treated the event (and actually believed) that people were investing in the mission, I believed we would raise far more than $5 per sub. People hesitated to buy into this idea, so I made them a deal. I felt so confident in this alternative approach that I promised to personally compensate them for any shortfall incurred by my strategy. I'm not sure they believed me, but I sincerely meant it.

The results? Many people did, in fact, give little to nothing. This is an inevitable outcome when we rip up the boundaries. Some people will abuse the system when the opportunity allows it. That's just a fact of life. However, that isn't the end of the story. Despite having many people give between $0-$5, we ended with an average of approximately $8 per sub. Seeing that people were indeed there to invest in the mission was an extraordinary moment. Fast forward many years, and we had our most recent sub fundraiser event last week. I wasn't involved this year, so I participated as the father of two hungry little boys. No prices! I loved it! It was a fun opportunity to invest in the mission.

This brings me to you. As you're out living your life, always keep your eyes open for opportunities to invest. There are so many people and organizations seeking to make an impact. People and organizations that want to do good in this world. When you encounter them, don't view them as someone who needs your money. Don't treat it like a transaction. Don't merely buy a product or a service from them. Invest in them. Give with meaning. Take advantage of the opportunity to be part of something bigger than you.

You aren't buying subs. You're investing in the mission. Embrace that beautiful opportunity!

Your Memories Are My Memories

A while back, my friend TJ told me he wanted to go to an ISU basketball game together. I agreed, but with one caveat: we must get some ridiculously amazing seats. I thus began my hunt for tickets. I eventually stumbled upon the deal of the century. Courtside tickets, immediately behind the opponent's bench, for a digestible price. Even better, we had two games to choose from. I asked TJ what game he prefered, and he immediately said the Oklahoma game. Perfect! My plan was coming together.....or so it seemed.

Fast forward 10 minutes, and I made a tragic discovery. While I did find the deal of the century, I realized why. It was one single ticket. Just one. Crap! This wasn't ideal, but it was still too good to pass up. I quickly pulled the trigger and gained control of my single courtside ticket. Then, I had to break the news to TJ:

Me: "I have good news and bad news. First, the bad news. I messed up. Those courtside seats only had one ticket available."

TJ: "And the good news?"

Me: "I bought it for you."

To TJ's credit, he humbly and gratefully accepted my gift. TJ's cool like that. He's a very generous man, but he also has the humility to receive the generosity of others. I was bummed I wouldn't be there with him, but I was even more excited for the experience he was about to have.

The game happened a few nights ago. TJ met up with a few buddies for dinner before the game, then enjoyed a wonderful courtside experience and a Cyclone win. We are ranked #8 in the country, by the way! Meanwhile, I stayed home with the boys while Sarah spent time with a few friends. As I was curled up on the couch watching the game, I saw TJ's face behind the Oklahoma bench every time down the court. I even grabbed this cutaway pic and texted it to him.

TJ was having this amazing experience, and I was sitting in front of my TV watching him have his amazing experience. I only felt joy. No jealously. No regret. No frustration.

This is the beauty of generosity. This is why generosity always wins. I made an investment in TJ's memories that night. That might as well have been my memory, as I will forever remember his excitement. I just have a different kind of memory now.....but an equally beautiful one.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again (because I can't ever get it out of my head). In the wise words of my friend Gary, "Invest in two things: mission and memories." Giving and experiences. Or, in the case of that memorable night earlier this week, giving someone else experiences.

Your memories are my memories, and my memories are your memories. This isn't about me, and this isn't about you. We each have an opportunity to thoughtfully and generously invest in other people's memories. I hope you find someone to bless today!

Creativity in Service

One of my favorite parts of life is finding creative ways to serve people. There are countless people to serve and unlimited ways to serve them. Opportunities are everywhere, but we have to look for them.

One of the coolest opportunities I have is the occasional speaking gig at a local high school business program called Orbis. Orbis is different than a traditional classroom experience. It runs more like an ongoing workshop that aims to put kids in real-world situations while forcing them to think non-linearly. There's a lot of project work in a team setting with an entrepreneurial bend. It's the program I wish I had when I was their age!!!

As my relationship with Orbis and its leaders has grown, so too have the opportunities to serve them. Like most things, it's really about relationships. I absolutely love their leaders. They are special people doing extraordinary work. I call them friends, and I'd dare call them heroes. I admire them deeply and would jump off a cliff for them if it would help their cause.

This is where the "finding creative ways" part comes in. Sometimes, all it takes is making it known that you're willing to serve. Once we go on record as being interested, it's funny how many fun ideas and opportunities rise to the surface. I recently met with a group of Orbis students interested in starting a business. They are interviewing a handful of business owners in the community to gain knowledge and get tips for their upcoming venture. Fun opportunity!

After spending 45 minutes with them, I ran into a few of the Orbis leaders on my way out the door. That was when they pitched me with a new idea. In their regularly scheduled work time, they welcome local business leaders into the room as an "adjunct professor." This person's role is simply to show up and add value to whatever individual or group requests it. These guests each bring their own experiences, gifts, and passions, and the students have the opportunity to leverage them for their projects. How cool is that!?!

The process is simple. The Orbis leader sent me the link to a shared spreadsheet listing every working block for the rest of the semester. Under each block are three slots for guests to self-select. While browsing the spreadsheet to find dates for my calendar, I noticed some of the other guest names. These are prominent business leaders in our community. Big, important, powerful people who are probably some of the busiest people alive. Yet, they sought access to this spreadsheet, scheduled blocks of their time, and will soon share their gifts with these students. What a fun blessing!

I absolutely love this about these local business leaders. Despite being where they are in life and business (tremendously successful and probably quite busy), they still seek creative opportunities to serve others. I can't put words in their mouth, but I suspect they know the secret: generosity always wins!

Today, I encourage you to find creative ways to serve people in your life. It will bless you far more than it does them!

The Contagiousness of Sharing

As you know, I'm a connoisseur of culinary delights. For that reason, I'm excited to report that I took my family to Taco Bell yesterday. Maybe it's nostalgia from my childhood (Cinnamon Twists were my first love), but I always get a little giddy when Taco Bell hits the daily itinerary.

Per usual, I ordered a bunch of food for our family to share (it's the best way to enjoy meals, in my weird and humble opinion). In any event, we ordered our food, and Sarah's sister's family ordered their own food. I ended up seated next to my niece Ruby. When their food came out, she was immediately struck with regret for forgetting to order Cinnamon Twists (amateur!). My reaction was swift and decisive. I grabbed my order of Cinnamon Twists, handed them to her, and said, "Here, you can have mine."

Shocked by the quick turn of events, a huge smile formed on her face, and she thanked me repeatedly. A few minutes later, still excited about the gifted treats, she turned to me and excitedly said, "You can have some of my nachos!" What a fun and generous gesture. I could tell it wasn't from a place of guilt, but rather from a sincere desire to bless me. How sweet!

Ruby may only be eight years old, but she just experienced something that's core to the human experience. Receiving generosity is a great feeling, but it's contagious. In turn, it often propels us to practice generosity ourselves, which is an even better feeling. In other words, generosity begets generosity. Sharing begets sharing.

The same thing is true the other way around. A lack of generosity begets a lack of generosity, and a lack of sharing begets a lack of sharing. Our culture has gone down the road of you-get-yours and I'll-get-mine. Why share with someone else? If they want something, they should work hard and go get it themselves. After all, I've worked hard for what I got. That's mine! They can worry about themselves. This mentality has resulted in our culture shifting away from sharing.

Call me weird, but everything in my life is on the table for sharing. All the food in our house, the vehicle I drive, the tools and technology I possess, and the money in my bank account. It's a counter-cultural way to live, but it's more fulfilling than you could ever imagine. Here's the best part. There's a palpable and immediate contagiousness that occurs in people when we openly share with them. Their immediate reaction is often surprise and hesitation (and sometimes refusal), but it shortly transforms into reciprocal generosity (to us and/or others).

Here's a question for you to ponder today. If we intentionally and proactively show generosity to others, what would the impact be? If it's as contagious as I'm suggesting, what are the ripple effects? How wide and deep does it spread? How many thousands of people can you ultimately serve through just a few small acts?

There's only one way to find out.

Small Gestures, Big Impact

When we think about impactful giving, we typically think about profound, massive, staggeringly generous gifts. A five-figure check. Giving someone a car. Forgiving someone's loan. The list goes on and on. Think about an example of a profoundly impactful gift. I bet you're thinking of something big.

Though I appreciate and deeply respect these types of large gifts, I firmly believe even small gifts can significantly move the needle in someone's life. While I was stuck in travel hell a few nights ago, three separate instances of small but powerful generosity played out in a short time span.

First, as it was clear that I wouldn't get home that night, my client stepped into the situation and reserved me a hotel room right in the middle of O'Hare Airport. No shuttles. No Ubers. No commute. All I had to do was take a short indoor walk. It wasn't cheap; he didn't have to do that. That single act of generosity changed my outlook on the situation. I couldn't be more grateful for his compassion and generosity in that moment.

An hour later, I'm on my flight from Dallas to Chicago. I'm on the aisle, a young man is in the middle seat, and an elderly man is at the window. I was repeatedly struck by how sweet and generous the middle guy was with the elderly man. The older man had a hard time moving around and had difficulty hearing. This other man spent the flight helping this man navigate the flight (getting up, reaching for things, communicating with the flight attendant, etc.). It was heart-warming. At the end of the flight, the older man shared his sincere appreciation for how well he was served.

At the same time, a third act of generosity happened. Instead of my usual ice water, I decided to treat myself to a bourbon. When the flight attendant asked for my order, I excitedly ordered my bourbon (neat, of course). But she never took my card. About 30 minutes later, when she walked by, I reminded her I still hadn't paid. "Let's not worry about that. This one is on me." Wow! That was so sweet.

Epilogue: I eventually made it home yesterday. My fate was very much up in the air. I had three opportunities to get a standby seat on Saturday and another three on Sunday, but it wasn't looking pretty. However, in another generous act, my client spent part of his Saturday morning scanning airlines for newly available tickets. A single seat opened up on a different airline, and he instructed me to quickly purchase it. Wow, yet another generous act. The day was still an absolute travel disaster (including digging my car out of a snow bank in -25 degree wind chill with no coat, no hat, and no gloves), but my client's continued generosity led to me getting home safely.

Small acts of generosity can completely alter a person's day.....or month.....or life. Don't overlook those opportunities to make a difference.

Perhaps My Wife Should Leave Me

I recently stumbled into an online message board where people submit their monthly budgets for the broader group to provide feedback.

One person's budget included investing 55% of his monthly take-home income to "build wealth." The group loved it! "Way to go!" "Keep up the good work." "Your future is bright." He was lauded and applauded. Hundreds of comments poured in, ranging from congratulations to requests for advice.

Another person shared how he and his wife each bought new luxury cars and live in a mini-mansion in a prestigious gated community. The group loved it! "You earned it." "Enjoy the spoils of your labor." "That's a sign that you're a success." Some people put them on a pedestal. Some people wanted to know their secrets to winning. Others were jealous, but hopeful to one day be there as well.

Then there was another person. This was a middle-class family with an average income and a normal lifestyle. What caught my eye were a few giving categories in his budget. "Church giving," "xyz org giving," and a category that was clearly meant for people in need. He didn't highlight this in his post, but I did the math: his giving totaled approximately 18% of his monthly take-home income.

Do you think he was applauded like the two families above? Haha, of course not! He was utterly skewered. When I saw his budget, I knew exactly what the comments would look like. "You're an idiot." "Bible-beating moron." "Gullible sheep." Some people accused him of neglecting (or even abusing) his family. Some suggested his wife should leave him to find someone to care for his kids, not someone else's kids. 90% of the commenters agreed he was irresponsible and dumb.

I don't know what was going through that original poster's head as he saw the negative comments stream in. But if they know the secret I know, I hope they just sat back and smiled. Generosity always wins. Always. It's true that when we give money away, we have less money. That's a mathematical fact. This family will most likely have less money in the months, years, and decades to come. But they will be richer.....far richer. They will have more joy, more peace, more impact, more contentment, and more meaning. It's a trade-off. We can have the money, or we can have what really matters.

While getting absolutely destroyed by the commenters on that board, my prayer is that someone else was watching. Someone who knows deep down that generosity is the way. Someone who experiences our culture pushing him downstream, but has the urge to swim upstream. I hope this person was inspired by this man's post. Not just inspired, but enough to take action and eventually become the butt of everyone else's jokes.

I may be an idiot. I may be a "Bible-beating moron." I may be a gullible sheep. I may be neglecting my family. Perhaps my wife should leave me. Or maybe I just know a secret: generosity always wins.

The Multiplication of Impact

I had lunch with my friend Rob yesterday. Rob is equal parts intense, passionate, and servant-hearted. He's the kind of guy that will empty his entire life savings to help a stranger on the street.

In addition to his day job, Rob runs an organization in Zambia called Shoulder 2 Shoulder. Food insecurity is one of the most significant issues in Zambia, and his organization tries to attack it in two ways. First, by providing food (to 1,500 households per month). Second, by training sustainable farming techniques. Their model is pretty cool. They teach people how to farm their land, provide them with the necessary inputs to farm it, then buy back a portion of their crop (to give away to other hungry people). With the proceeds from selling their crops back to Shoulder 2 Shoulder, the local farmers can afford to care for themselves and buy next year's farming inputs....and repeat.

Rob and I periodically have lunch to catch up on life/work/family, discuss all things generosity, and for him to update me on his ministry work. These discussions always come with a handout. Rob knows I like tables, data, and charts.....so he never lets me down! As I was scanning the page, something caught my eye. "Rob, what's this?," I asked as I pointed to the text: "Shoulder Water." Rob explained that one of the components of his ministry is to drill freshwater wells in villages so people can have clean water to drink. They've drilled 13 wells in the past few years.

Naive, I asked Rob what people do in villages without these wells. They either walk to a different village and carry back the water, or they simply don't have access to clean water.

Progressively curious, I asked how much these wells cost. $2,000. Wait, for $2,000, all in, hundreds of people will go from having no clean water to having clean water, just like that?!?! Rob, so you're telling me that one $2,000 investment changes hundreds of lives for years to come!?!? Talk about a strong return on investment......holy cow!

I gotta be honest. I'm glad I didn't have my checkbook at lunch yesterday. There's a possibility I would have handed my life savings to him. If $2,000 can permanently change hundreds of lives for years to come, is there actually anything better we could do with our resources?

Impact multiplies. It always does. In this case, however, I can't even wrap my head around the possible multiplication consequences. I immediately told Rob I'd fund one well this month. I'd be dumb not to.

Speaking of multiplication, I have an idea. If my $2,000 gift can help change hundreds of lives by giving people easy access to fresh, clean water, what would happen if others got involved? The nifty little handout Rob gave me yesterday indicated their plan is to fund five more wells by this time next year.

What if we funded all five this month? I just claimed one. Do you want one? Two? Or maybe a partial? What if a handful of us, connected by this silly little blog, banded together to multiply impact for thousands of people on the other side of the world for years to come? What if?

Please hit "reply" to this e-mail if you're interested. It's happening....

“I Don’t Have That Kind of Cash”

As I was navigating the Minneapolis airport last week, I found myself sharing an elevator with a young man on a business trip. Out of the blue, he lets out a string of expletives. Seeing he was upset, I asked him if everything was alright. He explained to me that his hotel reservation for that evening never got finalized. He blamed it on his company's travel system, but in any event, it was 8PM and he didn't have a hotel room. I spent a few minutes brainstorming ideas with him. One of my suggestions (given the late hour) was to personally buy a room and subsequently expense it through his company. After all, they whiffed on him, resulting in an employee without a place to sleep. 

He contemplated this idea briefly, then responded, "That could work, but rooms are like $150. I don't have that kind of cash in my account." Here he was, stranded in an unfamiliar city on a Friday evening without a place to stay, and the only thing standing in the way of a temporary solution was $150……and he didn't have it! I felt so bad for this young man.

As a society, we like to minimize the struggle of others. With our good jobs, big houses, and nice cars, we hear people talk about struggle, and we think to ourselves, "Things aren't that bad." The weather always looks good at the top of a mountain while we watch the rain clouds below us drench the people at the bottom. It's not to say that most people are unsympathetic. I don't believe that to be true. For most, they simply don't know what they don't know. They have a sample size of one: their own experience. Those are the lenses by which they view the world. As such, it's hard for people to recognize what's happening out there.

People are struggling for many different reasons:

• Poor past financial decisions

• Lack of financial literacy

• Inflation

• Layoffs

• Bad luck

• Health issues

• Lack of intentionality

• Lack of discipline

• Debt

• Broken marriages

• Lack of education

• Followed crappy advice

This list goes on and on. Some of these reasons are preventable, and some aren't. But regardless of whose fault it is, their reality is still their reality. I think we have two choices for these people in our lives: 1) We can demean them and treat them as though they deserve whatever they are going through, or 2) We can show empathy, provide a hand-up (not a hand-out!), and walk alongside them. The first causes shame, while the second creates impact.

Please keep your eyes open for struggling people. They are all around us, and based on everything that's going on, it will probably get more challenging in the coming months. Let's show them grace, generosity, and love (with honesty). We can't necessarily prevent them from experiencing tension and pain this time, but we can play a role in helping them survive and build a better foundation for next time.

The Ratchet of Guilt-Driven Giving

On a recent road trip, I pulled off the interstate to grab a coffee at a convenience store. I selected my beans, chose a size, slid my cup under the spout, and then ushered my beverage up to the cash register to pay. The cashier rang me up, then asked if that was all. After confirming, she asked, "Would you like to round up your purchase to help xyz organization?"

"No thanks."

"It's only $0.73."

"No thanks. I'm good."

"Ok, your total after not rounding up for xyz is $2.27."

What?!?! I'd never had that happen before, but it immediately made me think about this classic scene from South Park.

Guilt is such a powerful tool. It manipulates our emotions, which alters our decision-making process. My favorite part of the scene is when Randy lets guilt get the best of him, relents, and then gets guilted 10x harder. That's the thing about guilt. It's a ratchet that only turns in one direction. Once we submit to guilt, it only goes one way.

I'm sure xyz organization the convenience store advocates for is a wonderful organization doing wonderful work. But it's not where my heart or focus is. Would it be a big deal to round up to the nearest dollar to support this organization? No, of course not. It wouldn't move the needle in my financial life. However, if I'm going to bend to the guilt this time, what about next time? Or the time after that? What about a different context of my day-to-day life? What if, what if, what if. If I let guilt start overtaking my decisions, it will rob me of my intentional focus on the organizations I've hand-selected to support. And those giving decisions weren't made on impulse, like a rushed cash register transaction. They were intentionally thought out and meaningfully executed. The motives behind my giving are pure, honest, and genuine. There's no guilt, coercion, or mind games. It's just one family using the resources they're blessed with to serve others. That's how it should be.

This is where many people get tripped up in their giving. They get pressured, solicited, and/or guilted about so many different giving opportunities that it can take something powerful and special, and turn it into a negative experience to avoid. It can cause us to simply shut down. Or worse, fall into the guilt trap where our giving feels empty and soulless.

There's good news, though! You can reclaim your giving. You can reset the guilt. You can wipe the slate clean. Every month is a new opportunity to get intentional, clear, focused, and radical in our giving. It's never too late to start, and there's no better time than now!

Pain, Joy, then Pain Again

Have I ever mentioned how much I appreciate our readers? As much as I love putting ideas into the world, getting feedback from our readers is at the top of my list of coolest things ever. Each morning, when I get to the office and open my e-mail, there’s already a handful of responses from that morning’s post. If you want to join the fun, simply hit “reply” on the e-mail or leave a comment on the webpage.

Yesterday, I received a pretty awesome story from a reader that is an absolute must-share. He was responding to the post about my friend’s “$10,000 is my limit” comment, which was a reference to the maximum financial gift he would give someone in his life.

Here’s the story. This reader recently attended an estate planning workshop. At some point, the leader advised the audience to “Give beyond the point where it hurts, to the point where it makes us feel good.” This is a concept I talk about often. You know, the whole joy and sacrifice concept. If our giving doesn’t hurt, it’s not truly generous. The next part of his story is where he got me. The leader subsequently offered the reader a personal evaluation of his family’s giving. I’m going to quote my friend’s quote of this man’s quote: “You’ve given beyond the point where it hurts, to where it feels good, and now to a place where it hurts again.” Yes! And this is exactly where my friend wants to be. Heaping spoonfuls of joy and sacrifice.

If you’ve walked down the road of joy and sacrifice like my two friends above, you know exactly what they are talking about. If not, you may think we’ve all lost our minds. In a way, we have. We’ve thrown away society’s rules and norms. We’ve disconnected money and happiness. We’ve experienced, whether intentionally or accidentally, the pure joy that comes from sacrificial giving.

If you think buying a boat is fun, just wait until you lift up that struggling family experiencing immense financial struggle and barely putting food on the table.

If you think the new iPhone is cool, you should see how cool it is to send an exhausted couple on a little weekend getaway to recharge and experience some little luxuries they don’t get in their everyday life.

If you think it’s touching to watch your kids open up a mountain of presents from under the tree on Christmas morning, imagine what it would feel like to provide the resources for strangers to have a warm holiday meal (and a few gifts) who may not otherwise get to experience that part of the holiday season.

Here’s my challenge to you. If you’re already giving sacrificially, double down. Give to the point where it starts hurting again. If you’re in the camp where we sound like a bunch of lunatics, give it a shot. You can always stop if it’s not as amazing as I suggest.

"$10,000 is My Limit"

I recently had a conversation with a friend, and I can't shake it. He's a hard-working man, a grinder by every meaning of the word. I'm not sure how we got there, but he mentioned giving a $1,000 gift to someone in his life. This sparked a long and winding conversation about generosity, grace, gratitude, and faith. 

Until that moment, I didn't even know he was a faithful man. I hadn't known him that long, and this was our first conversation about things deeper than the usual surface-level topics. 

I don't know what shocked me more. Some of his stories about generosity, or his telling of how selfish, greedy, and self-serving he was in his younger days. And wow, he had some wild, unsavory stories about his younger years. But today? He speaks with a passion about generosity, helping others, and trying to live with faith. He mentioned concepts such as:

• Everything we have belongs to God.

• Giving makes us better people.

• The joy that comes from serving others. 

• Holding our money loosely and having faith. 

He had me on the edge of my seat. I wanted more! I wanted to hear more about how he used to be, what changed, and who he is today. 

One thing became glaringly evident: giving is part of his DNA. This is the beautiful thing about life, faith, and redemption. Regardless of who we are today, tomorrow can be different. That message hits a little too close to home for me. In my early-to-mid 20s, I was most certainly on a path to becoming a world-class selfish, materialistic, greedy jerk. But then, I changed. In some ways, the change was overnight, but in other ways, it happened over the course of years (or decades). 

One of my favorite moments during this conversation was when he shared his philosophies and practices around giving. At one point, he looked at me dead-eyed and clarified, "I have limits, though." Now he had my interest. Limits? What does that even mean? Luckily, I didn't have to ask. He continued, "$10,000 is my limit. That's the most I would just give to someone." 

A $10,000 gift is all he would just give to someone? Coward! What a penny-pincher! Ye of little faith. Haha! Just kidding. Wow! I loved how he laid out the boundary, and then immediately explained how the boundary is something utterly absurd that most people will never be able to relate to. Such a fun conversation!

Here's the good news for you. You can be just like my friend. Finding the humility, joy, faith, and growth in acts of generosity. Regardless of where you are or where you came from, you can experience the life-changing power of giving.

I have more good news. You don't have to give $10,000 to be like my friend. We aren't called to give as much as the next person. Instead, we're called to give from what we have, not what we don't have. Joy and sacrifice, sacrifice and joy. 

Spice-It-Up Challenge

When it comes to financial giving, most people fall into one of two camps:

1. It doesn't really exist

2. It's methodical and/or unemotional

I feel for those who don't have generosity in their lives. They don't know what they are missing! There's sincerely nothing better we can do with money than give it away. There are multiple reasons why people don't have giving in their life:

• It was never modeled for them

• They don't believe it's their responsibility to help others

• They'd rather spend it on themselves

• They are jaded because of a negative past experience

• They think they can't afford it

If you fall into one or more of these categories, I implore you to give generosity a chance. Giving will change our lives more than the recipients'. It will rock your world!

On the flip side, many people give, but do so methodically....and largely unemotional. They may have their giving on auto-pilot, or at least know where, how much, and when their gifts will be made. Giving is a regular (or semi-regular) part of their life, but it's not given deep consideration. Some give out of guilt, others out of a sense of obligation, and some for more noble reasons. Whatever this looks like, however, it doesn't usually play a significant role in their day-to-day lives. 

Givers, I think we need to spice things up a little. Giving should be the most enjoyable part of our financial life. If it's not, we're doing something wrong. I love that you give. Props to you for giving in the first place! But, and it's a big but, you deserve better! You deserve to find meaning, joy, and first-hand impact with your giving. You deserve to feel your giving.

So today, I have a challenge for you. Let's call it the spice-it-up challenge. Whatever day you're reading this, I challenge you to take $10 and find a unique way to give it away. It can be more than $10, but it doesn't need to be. How you use this money is up to you. Maybe it's a stranger you see at the grocery store, or the barista at your favorite coffee shop, or someone at church who's been struggling, or even a friend.

It can't be the same giving you always do. After all, this is the spice-it-up challenge......the name alone requires creativity and spontaneity. There are only a few prerequisites:

• It has to be unique.

• You have to care avou the purpose of the gift.

• You must be able to experience the impact of your gift (which may require anonymity). 

• It has to make you smile.

This is a beautiful act to practice. And just like anything else, we get better with practice. This has been a regular part of my life for about seven years. If I'm having a crappy day, I stop what I'm doing and find an opportunity to creatively give to someone. It never fails; that ALWAYS turns my mood around. 

Ready. Set. Go spice it up!