Give What You Have: Landlord Edition

I’ve written extensively about the importance of giving what you have, not what you don’t. It’s a concept I learned from Gary Hoag, and it changed everything for me. We ALL have something to give. We don’t need to be wealthy to give. We don’t need to have a huge income to give. We don’t need larger-than-life status to give. Instead of saying, “I’d give more if I had x,” we can flip the narrative and say “I have y, so I should give from it.” All we have is what we have, and that’s what we’re called to give from.

It looks different for everyone. Of course, we each have an opportunity (and I’d argue a responsibility) to give from our income. Some of us have small incomes, others large. And all incomes merit giving from. We also have other financial assets to give from, such as savings and investments. But we also have other things to give. It could be our skills, our relationships, our influence, our time, our wisdom. Generosity can (and should) flow from every area of our lives.

We also have other, more creative forms of generosity at our fingertips. Here’s one example. I recently learned of a landlord who waives December’s rent for all of its tenants each year. Think about this. You rent a house and sign a one-year lease. The lease says you owe 12 monthly payments of $2,000. Then, when that first December rolls around, your landlord says, “Nah, you keep it. Use it to have a wonderful Christmas.” Boom! What an amazing blessing. I don’t know the landlord or what they have for income and other resources, but what a beautiful example of giving from what they have.

I don’t personally own a rental house to practice that form of generosity. It would be awfully easy for me to dwell on the fact I don’t have that to give. That’s why I must look inward and give from what I do have:

• I have an income (not nearly as high as it used to be, but it’s still an income).

• I have savings and investments.

• I have a coffee company (which has become one of the best outlets of generosity).

• I have skillsets to help countless people find meaning and intentionality in their finances.

• I have relationships all over the country and world that may be THE missing link in someone else’s journey.

• I have platforms (blog and podcast) that enable me to give away ideas, inspiration, and encouragement.

• I have knowledge bases that allow me to help several non-profits grow their impact.

• I have possessions I can share with others.

• I have a wonderful church that allows me the opportunity to serve in various capacities.

The list could go on. This really isn’t about me, though. That’s just my list. That’s what I have to give from. Now, it’s your turn. What do you have to give? The answer(s) to that question could change everything!

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The Unlikeliest of Inspiration

Since yesterday was the last school day before Christmas break, the boys stayed up later than usual. When it was finally time to go to bed, everyone was exhausted. Bedtime was a bit more expedited. Instead of each of us praying like most nights, I asked Finn to give one extra good prayer for all of us. He knocked it out of the park! Something he said caught my attention, though. He prayed for the people who were "poor and don't have homes" and asked God to give them blankets to stay warm in the cold.

After the tuck-ins finished and Sarah left the room, I asked him about that. He said he's been thinking about homeless people and is scared they won't be safe. I asked him if he’s interested in going to Target, filling up our car with blankets, and taking them to some friends who could deliver them to some of the homeless people in our community. He beamed with excitement. I guess I know what we'll be doing on our first day of Christmas break.

Then, he added something else. "Do you know the Mickey Christmas Carol movie? That's what made me interested in helping people who are poor and don't have homes. They talked about it on there, and I was really interested. Giving stuff to people for free and helping them." First, listening to this little boy try to say the word "interested" is pretty cute. Second, wow! How awesome is that!?!?

I talk to the boys about generosity all the time, but for whatever reason, Finn's recent viewing of Mickey's Christmas Carol connected some new dots for him. He gained some awareness. He ached for hurting people. He was inspired to act. Sometimes, inspiration comes from the most unlikely of sources.

I'm really excited for Finn to explore generosity in this way, and I'm extremely proud of him for taking this step. Who knows where it will lead, but it will hopefully be the next step in his journey of generosity.

Keep connecting dots. Connect your own dots. Help your kids connect theirs. Inspire others to connect theirs. You never know when a trigger moment may occur. Sometimes, inspiration comes from the most unlikely of sources.

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Giving > Getting

We had Christmas at my parents’ house yesterday. Needless to say, the boys were beyond excited to celebrate Christmas with Grandma and Grandpa. And as with all little kids, they were especially excited for presents. If they had their choice, we would have set our alarms for 4AM to get the show on the road…..we fortunately held them off until 8:30.

When it was finally time to open the gifts, something unexpected happened. Instead of the boys clamoring for their own gifts, they insisted Grandma and Grandpa open the gifts the boys picked out for them. I jumped in and told them we don’t have to do that, but they weren’t having it. They were far more excited to give than to receive, which shocked me. They joyfully watched as each grandparent opened each gift, anticipating their every reaction.

It was absolutely wild watching eight-year-old kids intentionally and excitedly prioritize giving over getting. I knew how excited they were to receive, but had no idea they were even more excited to give. Amazing!! It absolutely made my day. They enjoyed giving the gifts to their grandparents, and enjoyed opening the gifts given to them…..then spent the rest of the day playing with their new toys and wearing their new clothes.

Giving is always greater than getting, regardless of age or context. It’s a universal truth to life, but a truth not enough people understand. I don’t know if my kids fully understand it (yet), but yesterday was a beautiful and promising sign.

Here’s my math equation of the day: giving > getting.

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Wait, Are They Spitting In My Food?!?!

Last month, I wrote a piece about listening to nudges in our generosity. In it, I used the example of leaving a large cash tip on a DoorDash order, mentioning that I typically try to tip cash to ensure the person receives the entire tip. Remember that?

Well, I just stumbled upon a disturbing discovery. There's a video circulating the interwebs, captured by a Ring door cam. A DoorDash driver approaches a house to drop off the food order. The customer, just like in my post linked above, attempts to hand the delivery driver a cash tip. "Ignore it. You keep that," responds the driver. "Why?" asks the confused customer. "Because I didn't see you tip on the app, and I put a little card in there. So please keep it. I'm sorry." The video clip ends with a still photo of the note the driver left for her: "Lucky for you I didn't bother the food but next time consider tipping your driver."

Door dasher leaves a nasty note in her food because she thought she wasn’t going to tip pic.twitter.com/th5NSNc7cq

— FadeHubb (@FadeHubb) January 8, 2024

Wow. Just wow. There's a lot going on here. First, it's shocking how entitled the driver is to think that a) a tip is 100% mandatory, and b) it merits threatening the safety and cleanliness of the customer's food. That's an audacious move.....dare I say disgusting?

But there's something else I want to hone in on here. It's interesting that the driver's first instinct upon seeing no explicit tip being left on the app is the assumption there is zero tip whatsoever. That doesn't happen by accident. It's probably the byproduct of hundreds of times when no tip was left. That's actually pretty sad.

From the comfort of our home, we're jumping on our $1,000 cell phones to order food that will be hand-delivered to our door, where we'll meet the driver (in our jammies), so we can enjoy a completely stressless and effortless meal. And we're not even leaving a tip!?!? We're collectively venturing into selfish narcissist territory.

And all the while, I'm over here unknowingly risking someone spitting in my food, all because I want to bless drivers with large cash tips? No, I'm not defending this driver's gross behavior and disgusting threats. I hope she ate a big slice of humble pie that night and subsequently tried to make amends for her actions.

What I'm suggesting today is that we have an opportunity on our hands. We have an opportunity to consistently pour out so much generosity into this world that the (figurative and literal) DoorDash drivers get excited when they don't see a tip added on the app. A world where instead of sending threatening letters, they are handing out thank-you notes.

I know a lot of people will vehemently disagree with this, and I respect that. I'm here to push boundaries and move needles, and that gets uncomfortable sometimes. I hope you'll join me by leaning hard into this endeavor. Generosity always wins! Together, we can start to bend our culture. Reminder, even a 1% bend is still progress. Let's go!

Seriously, though, did that dude spit in my Taco Bell last month? Maybe someday I'll find out......

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Flipping Tipping On Its Head

Tipping has developed a bad reputation over the last few years; some of it deserved. It seems like everyone, eyes wide with envy, is chasing the almighty tip dollars. Everyone is asking for tips these days! People are burned out, and in many ways, I don't blame them. Example: I was recently asked to tip at a self-serve kiosk with ZERO employees. Who am I tipping, the machine?!?!

However, I also believe the tipping pendulum is at risk of swinging back too far. With people fed up with open-hand tip requests, many are cutting back and/or ceasing tips altogether. I don't think this is the right approach, either.

So, today, I have a proposal to make you. Instead of viewing tipping as some entitlement hand-out baked into the already-high price of goods and services, let's reframe it as giving. The opportunity to tip is an opportunity to practice generosity. I'm not suggesting every single tip request merits a generous tip, but rather, we should welcome the opportunity to reward excellence with intentional generosity.

I approach tipping as the training ground and experimental lab of generosity. Have you ever left an obscenely high tip for someone? It will rock your world. Have you ever been served by someone who was clearly having a stressful day, only to see their face change upon receiving an outsized tip? It will make your day. Have you ever given a thoughtful tip to someone who oftentimes doesn't receive a tip at all? It's life-giving.

No, you don't have to tip. Yes, it would be cool if employees were paid more. No, you shouldn't be made to feel guilty. Yes, it's ridiculous that every single role is now requesting tips. Despite all that, I still believe each of us has the influence to use these little opportunities to move the needle in people's lives and in our culture. Further, embracing these little moments will also add value to our own lives. It will brighten our day, make us smile, and give us something to think about.

Join me. Let's reframe tipping in our lives. Let's lean hard into generosity and make some people's days. It might be one of the coolest things you do all day.

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I Stole Her Generosity

Sarah and I operate our finances with a high level of intentionality. Each month for the past 15 years, we've negotiated and executed a budget (in fact, as I was writing this paragraph, she interrupted me and reminded me of a few items we need to add to this month's budget). The budget accounts for every dollar of income coming in that month, segregated into various spending, saving, and giving categories. When we encounter a possible expenditure of $100+, we discuss it. Well, with one exception: giving. We are very intentional about our normal giving budget, but not so much with the irregular giving. The one-offs. The spur of the moment. The little nudges. The instinctual gifts. If either of us feels called to give, regardless of the person, cause, or amount, we have the green light. If we don't have enough money in that month's giving budget to cover it, we have a separate bucket of money we can pull from. "Just be generous" is the operating model.

It took Sarah several years to embrace this principle. For the longest time, she felt anxious about unilaterally making these types of decisions. Eventually, though, she started owning it; she even looped the kids into the fold. When the nudge came to give, she gave. No hesitation, no second-guessing. Just be generous. It's been one of the coolest parts of our life together.

I recently stole her generosity, though. It was Thanksgiving Day. We were in a grocery store picking up some ingredients for our big meal. It was Sarah, me, the boys, and our two nieces. As we stood in the checkout lane, Sarah noticed two firefighters standing in front of us. They were in full uniform, with a cart full of food. Sarah leaned over to me, "We should buy theirs to thank them for their service today." Amazing idea! For whatever reason, though, I stalled out on her. "It's going to be weird trying to pay for someone in front of us. We would definitely do it if they were behind us." "That's okay," she replied, and the moment passed.

Wow. I whiffed. There's no reason we shouldn't have purchased their cart of food. Zero reason. Zilch. I don't know what sidetracked me, but I failed Sarah and those two firefighters. Sarah had a beautiful idea (or nudge), and I sabotaged her. I felt pretty lousy about it. As we were pulling away from the store, I said, "I really regret that. I failed. I'm so sorry."

"Just be generous" is a beautiful model to live by. I highly recommend it! Pull out the stops. There's something amazing that happens when we prioritize someone else's needs over our own wants. It transforms the way we view and handle our money. However, just like I did on Thanksgiving, you'll make mistakes. You whiff. You'll miss the moment. While that sucks, the good news is there will be another moment the next hour, next day, or next week. The moments are all around us. Just be generous.

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Listening to Those Nudges

After my Grandma's funeral on Saturday, I hopped in the car and bee-lined a two-hour drive to the airport so I could board a flight to Mississippi. I'm hanging out in a dry ice plant in SW Mississippi for the next few days, trying to add value to one of my clients.

I spent yesterday grinding in the office, which was extremely productive. As lunchtime approached, I realized I had no vehicle, and there wasn't anything within walking distance. Thus, I pulled out my rarely-used DoorDash app to save me.

When using digital platforms, I tip cash if I have it on me. Call me a conspiracy theorist, but tipping cash is the only way to ensure 100% of that tip ends up in the hands of its intended target. Luckily for me, I had about $50 in my pocket.

That was the setup, and here's the story. I waited about 20 minutes for my food to arrive. During that time, I felt a nudge. It was a nudge to lean heavy on the tip. My entire order was $10, so what does a heavy tip mean? $5? $10? More? As time passed, I felt a continued nudge to lean even heavier; by the time the driver was pulling up with my delicious Taco Bell, I felt oddly convicted I needed to give the entire $50 stack to the driver.

I long ago learned to listen to these types of nudges, no matter how crazy they may seem. Some may call it intuition, while others may refer to it as the Holy Spirit. I'm not in the judging business.....I'm in the listening business. In our family, we respond to nudges, and today, Mr. Taco Bell DoorDash was the target of a nudge.

I eagerly waited for the delivery car to peek above the hill. As he pulled up, I noticed a few things. He was driving an incredibly beat-up truck......nearly falling apart. His wife (or girlfriend) was sitting in the passenger seat. Her name was the registered Dash driver, but they were clearly out making runs together. When he hopped out of the truck to bring my food, he was extraordinarily polite. I noticed a big cross on his T-shirt. He handed me my food, said, "God bless," and quickly turned toward his hanging-on-by-a-thread truck.

I shouted that I had a tip for him. He turned back toward me. "Oh, thank you much," as he re-approached me. I handed him the cash. "Are you serious? You have no idea! I don't even know........thank you, thank you!"

Nudges, man! I don't know what the story is, but I know there's a story. I'll probably never know the full context of what it meant, and that's ok. My job isn't to piece it all together, but rather to play the tiny role I was called to play. I peacefully went to bed last night, knowing I listened to that nudge.

Listen to those nudges. Yes, they can be weird. Yes, they can be uncomfortable. Yes, they can challenge us. But they exist for a reason. Stretch yourself and lean into them. Generosity always wins!

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Author Unknown

I've had a great few days in Houston, spending time with one of my clients. The days have been long but rewarding. I'll be in their office again today and tomorrow, returning home late Monday night. I'm grateful for the opportunity to add value to their business, and I am glad we could get creative with our schedules.

Given how tired I am, I was running short on writing inspiration. That's when I opened my blog inspiration folder in my Notes app. It's stocked full of thoughts, ideas, and concepts for future brainstorming. But something in particular caught my eye. It was just a few sentences, but I can't figure out where it came from. I did a terrible job notating the context of this one. Here's what my note said:

"Accepting generosity, accepting appreciation, and accepting recognition are all related. As difficult as it can be to accept them, rejecting them can be a symptom of false humility and reminds me of one of my favorite quotes - "Humility is nothing but truth, and pride is nothing but lying." St. Vincent de Paul. Accept generosity, appreciation, and recognition when they're true and pure."

Did I write this? It's something I believe, but the sentence structure is a bit different than my style. Did Gary Hoag write this? It definitely seems like something he'd say, but I can't find any matches on his daily blog. Did Ryan Schon write this? This St. Vincent de Paul quote is embedded in Ryan's Twitter bio! But if he wrote it, I can't figure out where I pulled it from. Did I pull it out of a book? If so, there's zero chance I'll figure it out. Oh well, it shall remain a mystery.

Regardless of the source, there's so much beauty, power, and wisdom in this text. Many may find it convicting. Oddly enough, it's much, much easier to be generous than to accept the generosity of others. I know so many giving-minded people who are incapable of accepting gifts (physical or otherwise). They insist on being only on one side of the giving ledger. That's called pride, perhaps leaking into arrogance.

This is one of the many things Gary Hoag taught me nearly a decade ago. I can't be a truly generous person until I learn to sincerely receive generosity from others. After all, receiving generosity is an act of generosity in itself; you're giving the other person the opportunity to be a blessing. Rejecting the gift is the same as stomping out their generous spirit, which is a form of anti-generosity.

I think many people will struggle with this idea today. Good! Let's be challenged. Allow this to push your comfort zone. Doing so is essential in this journey toward a more generous life. Have an amazing day!

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Heartbreak. Joy. Impact.

What makes you angry? What breaks your heart? What makes you sad? What puts a knot in your stomach? What gets you fired up?

These are some of the questions I ask people when they are interested in giving, but don't know where to start. One of my biggest principles in cultivating generosity is making gifts we can emotionally connect to. This is an overlooked aspect of people's giving, which I believe can change everything. Once we connect our giving with our emotions and passions, it unlocks a gear we never knew we had.

I'm writing about this today because something transpired under my roof this weekend. On Saturday afternoon, Finn decided he was going to get the mail. Then, something caught his eye. "Dad, you got something from the children's hospital. It must be a bill." I explained it's probably not a bill, but rather the hospital asking for help. That sparked his interest, so without further ado, he tore open the envelope. He spent the next hour reading, inspecting, and re-reading the documents. He was fixated on this letter. It talked about caring for kids and making sure their families are taken care of.

Fast forward a few hours later, and we were on the couch watching the annual CyHawk football game featuring our Iowa State Cyclones vs. the Iowa Hawkeyes. As much as I don't like the Hawkeyes (sorry, Hawk friends!), they have one of the most beautiful traditions in all of sports. After the conclusion of the first quarter, every person in the stadium - fans, players on both sides, refs, coaches, stadium employees - stop everything, turn their attention to the next-door children's hospital towering above, and wave at all the kids and families in the windows. It's a special moment each and every time. I turn into a puddle just writing about it, and I suspect you'll be the same if you watch this ESPN story.

As the wave began, both my kids were curious about what was happening. Finn especially took an interest in this. The cameras zoomed in on the kids at the windows, wildly waving at the stadium crowd with huge smiles on their faces. Some kids were bald from their treatment regimen, while others were in beds. Finn looked at the kids on the TV, then down to the pictures of kids in the hospital letter he had been reading.

Something clicked inside him. He looked sad, almost introspective. Then, without a word, he walked out of the living room toward his bedroom. He returned a few seconds later with a baggie of cash. "Dad, can I send my giving money to the kids' hospital?"

"You bet, bud. We absolutely can." We filled out the giving form, he delicately placed his $16 into the provided return envelope, and he wrote them a note explaining his gift. He had so much joy doing this. Later today, I'll drive him to the post office so he can personally drop the envelope in the mailbox.

Heartbreak. Joy. Impact. Finn is starting to get it.

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A Silent Echo

Happy first Saturday of the college football season! Regardless of who your team is (yes, even you, Hawkeye fans), I hope you enjoy your season and make tons of fun memories. In a few hours, my family will pack up the car and drive to Ames to cheer on our Iowa State Cyclones.

Each year, this day reminds me of a beautiful gift my family received from a friend four seasons ago. As the football season was approaching, our friends unexpectedly and generously gifted my family Iowa State season tickets. That year was full of memories, fun, and the infamous Brock Purdy / Breece Hall duo. It was an amazing gift, and one that I will tell people about until the day I die.

A pic from that very first game, four seasons ago.

That's the thing about generosity; it's a silent echo. Whether we see it or not, its impact reverberates through people's lives long after it occurs. The following year, we purchased our own season tickets. Throughout the season, we blessed a handful of families with our tickets. Families that had never been to a college football game before. Families that couldn't afford tickets. Families who, for whatever reason, weren't going to connect all the dots and make it to a game. Each time we gifted our tickets, it was a tribute to our friends who made that original gift. A silent echo.

As this season approached, we cringed as we looked at our calendar. I'll be out of the country for one game. I'll have to miss two other games for speaking engagements. There's also Finn and Pax's basketball games, which are still TBD. Needless to say, it's not looking great to attend Cyclone games this season.

Then, the proverbial lightbulb turned on over our heads. While it was hard to justify buying season tickets when we probably won't make many games, we decided to look at it through a different lens. Knowing our availability is limited, these tickets weren't primarily entertainment; they were generosity. We purchased them largely to bless families. We want people to create their own memories and curate stories that will be shared for years. A silent echo.

One friend buys another friend tickets once, and the silent echo carries for years. There's no telling how many people will ultimately benefit from the impact made back in 2021. Dozens? Hundreds? What about the people that we bless? They may, in turn, be inspired to bless others along their journey as well.

The silent echo is multiplication, not addition. It compounds over time. It's beautiful and powerful. I'm probably more excited to give these tickets away than I am to attend myself (ssshhhhh, don't tell my kids I said that). Knowing that we get to help other people create lifelong memories is one of the greatest blessings we can receive.

Today, though, I'm going to make some memories with my boys. They are beyond excited, and hopefully, the Cyclones will put on a good show. Happy college football Saturday, everyone!

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It’s Never Too Soon

"When is the right time to start giving?"

"Now"

"When will we have enough so we can start giving?"

"Right now."

"How much do we need to start thinking about giving?"

"Whatever you have now."

One of the most common misconceptions about generosity in our culture is this false and toxic notion that we must achieve xyz goals before we turn on the giving spigot. We treat the topic as though giving is something relegated to rich people. And someday, if you become rich, perhaps you might give away a tiny portion of your riches, too.

Knowing this, I guess it shouldn't surprise me that I received criticism for a recent blog post explaining how my kids spend, save, and give equally—1/3, 1/3, and 1/3. Or, as one friend put it, "Why are your kids giving 33% when they hardly make any money?"

Here's my honest and most sincere answer: Because we're called to give, period. Our ability to give isn't dependent upon our net worth or income, whether we have everything we want, or whether we have attained a certain lifestyle. We should give because we are human. We should give because it's a central part of being loving. We should give because it's part of having a healthy relationship with money.

It reminds me of a famous quote. "It's possible to give without love, but it's impossible to love without giving."

Most people miss out on the beauty and life-changing consequences of giving, just so they can check the box on a few more wants each month. It's such a superficial, short-sighted, and empty way to live.

Whenever I think of this dynamic, I picture different people in my life. It's one of the curses and blessings of having worked with so many families. I think about couples with nearly every material possession they could ever desire, yet very little giving. On the flip side, I think about couples who live very modest lives, yet give beyond belief. The couples who have everything actually have very little. And the couples who appear to have very little actually have everything. It's a paradox that I'll never get over.

It's never too soon to give. My biggest encouragement is to just start. You don't need a well-thought-out strategy. You don't need sophisticated tools. You don't need to get your taxes sorted. You don't need have every giving opportunity fully vetted. Sometimes, you just need to give, then give again, and keep giving. You won't always get it right, but you'll most certainly change your life (and probably a few others along the journey).

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Period.

As we were on our way to the science center yesterday, my family enjoyed a quick lunch at a downtown patio. Toward the end of our meal, a young woman approached us, looking distressed. "I'm sorry, and I'm really embarrassed to even ask, but I could really use some help. Do you have a few dollars you could give me?"

I quickly grabbed my wallet to see what I had. Not surprisingly, my cash was limited. I only had a single twenty-dollar bill on me. I pulled the bill out, handed it to her, and wished her a good day. She was shocked by the gift, thanked me multiple times, and then continued on her way.

This sparked a fun conversation with the kids. What was she going to do with the money? Did she really need it? Why did she need it? I answered every question with "I don't know." Then, after I unsuccessfully answered all their questions, I finished with this: "Our job is to be loving and generous.....period. That's what God asks us to do. What she does with that money is between her and God."

I can already see the criticism for this approach. Did she even need the money? Was she scamming me? Was she going to use it for something irresponsible? What if I just wasted that money?!?! I could easily have a cynical perspective like that. Part of me does if I'm being honest. However, my job is to be loving and generous.....period. It reminds me of one of my favorite stories I've shockingly only shared once before on this blog:

C.S. Lewis and his friend were walking down the street. Along the path, they see a homeless man. Lewis immediately reached into his pockets, pulled out all the cash he had on him, and handed it to the man. As they walked away, his friend said, "You shouldn't have done that. He's just going to squander it on tobacco and alcohol." Mr. Lewis looks at his friend and replies, "Well, that's what I was going to do with it."

We need to be less cynical and more loving.

We need to be less judgy and more generous.

Yes, we're going to make mistakes. Yes, our gifts may sometimes be squandered. Yes, we'll get taken advantage of.

But our call is to be loving and generous.....period.

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I Won't Be Stealing His Blessing

Finn finished the rest of how mowing duties last night. I feel weird saying that about a seven-year-old, but here we are. He loves mowing, and I'm more than happy to let him do it. It's also a great opportunity for me to teach him about the connection between hard work and money. After we came into the house, with sweat dripping off his face, he was eager to receive the rest of his pay.

As he divided up the money into three components (spending, saving, and giving), he turned to me and said, "Dad, I'm going to use my giving money to buy you a new battery so you can fix your watch." I've been wearing a broken watch for a few months now. I have other watches, but this one is my favorite. Unfortunately, though, the battery died. So, at this point, it's for aesthetics only.

I was blown away by his thoughtful generosity. Sarah was also moved by his gesture and said, "Finny, that is so thoughtful of you! Very sweet. But Dad can use other money to fix his watch."

The moment came and went. Finn seemed excited about his idea, and we quickly moved on to the next part of our evening. Sarah and I didn't discuss this after the fact, but I wasn't a fan of her comment. She meant well, and her intent was pure, but she inadvertently stole (or attempted to steal) his blessing.

See, Finn didn't want to buy me a new battery because I NEEDED it. Rather, he wanted to show love through generosity.....period. I need to accept this gift. Robbing people of their blessing is an act of anti-generosity. It's counter to everything we try to teach.

It reminds me of a recent text message I received: "What's your Venmo?" I kind of knew what was coming, but then again, I really didn't. But I had a suspicion about what it could be about. I didn't ask this person for money. I didn't want this person to send me money. I didn't feel like I deserved any money. However, I don't steal people's blessings. My personal rule is to NEVER steal someone's attempt to practice generosity. I gratefully shared my Venmo handle, only to receive a gift mere minutes later. I excitedly and sincerely thanked this person for the gesture. It means a lot that they would do that, even if I didn't NEED it. It was an act of thoughtful love. I wasn't about to rob that from them.

Back to Finn. Yes, I'm going to let him fix my watch. The only way to become generous is to practice generosity. If I'm trying to raise my kids to become loving, generous men, why would I rob them of opportunities to be generous? I won't. I will gratefully receive Finn's thoughtful act of generosity. I hope it adds yet another spark to his generosity journey.

____

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Inflicting Impact

I spent Monday trying to get to Houston WHILE a hurricane was pummeling the city (smart move, I know). Nearly every flight was canceled that day, but United re-booked me for a later flight that actually got me there safely. As I boarded my Denver-to-Houston flight, I chatted with a young man (maybe 16 or 17) trying to get home to Houston from a mission trip. Unfortunately, he was the victim of eight flight cancellations over the prior 18 hours. He looked beat up yet oddly optimistic. 

As we boarded the plane, he eagerly awaited his coveted exit row seat. "I've never sat in the exit row before!" Then, as he approached his seat, he disappointingly found a middle-aged man sitting there. They both had tickets for the same seat. The flight attendant quickly swooped in to sort out the confusion. After checking her records, the flight attendant informed the middle-aged man he had unknowingly been upgraded to first class. As he began to vacate his row, the middle-aged man looked at the kid and said, "Why don't you take my seat. Enjoy it!" "Are you for real?" asked the young man. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" The young guy had a massive smile on his face as he turned around and excitedly walked to the front of the plane. 

For the middle-aged man, this probably would have been his 120th time sitting in first class. He knew that. Deep down, I think a little light bulb went off for him, realizing a first-class seat would probably move the needle for the young man. I call this "inflicting impact." Using whatever resources we're blessed with to do the most good. All we have is all we have. It's so easy to get jealous of what a friend, family member, or co-worker has. But that doesn't do us any good. Further, when we dwell on what we don't have, we lose sight of what we do have. Once we become fully aware and present in what we do have, it's our responsibility to manage it well and maximize impact. In the case of that flight, this man used his upgrade to bless someone far more than he would have benefited from it. He inflicted impact with something he had. 

It was such a small gesture, yet I have a feeling that young guy will be sharing his wild story about how that one time he was on a mission trip and got eight flights canceled while trying to fly home in a hurricane, and some stranger generously let him sit in first class. That epic tale will be told for years!!!! Better yet, that sequence of events may even inspire that young man to unlock his own generosity in the days, weeks, and months to come. It's silly and far-fetched to think about, but that middle-aged man may have changed the trajectory of that young man's life. I know, I know, I'm a hopeless romantic……

……but what if?

Inflict impact. Use whatever you have, big or small, to move the needle for others. 

Keeping the Relationship Pure

Relationships and generosity, two of the most meaning-filled things in life. Typically, these two dynamics run parallel to one another. After all, both are a manifestation of love and compassion. They run parallel until, well, they don’t. Once in a while, a situation arises where the two can collide. 

My phone rings. Weird, it’s from a friend I haven’t spoken to in years. Let’s call them the Smiths. “Travis, we need your help,” exclaimed Mr. Smith. What unfolded in the subsequent minutes was a story about friendship. Not just any friend, but the Smiths’s nearest and dearest friends. Long story short, this family (a couple with a few young kids) was going through a significant financial struggle. Life was hitting hard, and it was beginning to take a toll on everyone involved. This situation moved the Smiths deeply. They felt an overwhelming calling to step in and serve their friends in some way. However, the magnitude of their ideas would potentially alter their relationship with their friends. 

The Smiths are an interesting couple. They carry themselves with humility and discretion. They have a modest house, older cars, and simple clothes…..very much a middle-class lifestyle. Behind the scenes, though, they are extremely blessed financially. Not many people know this, and they like it that way. It allows them to live a normal life, give ridiculously generously, and teach their kids right. 

Being the loving, compassionate, servant-hearted, and generous people they are, they had a wild idea. With the snap of their fingers, they could make their best friend’s financial struggle disappear. Doing so, though, created risk. Would their friends even accept the gift? Would their friends feel guilty? Would their friends feel like they owe them? Would their friends view them differently? There were a million ways adverse outcomes could arise from this well-meaning intention. 

That’s when my phone rang. “Travis, we need your help.” After discussing the situation, we came up with a creative way for them to anonymously help their friend without risking the relationship. Or, in the words of the Smiths, “keep the relationship pure.” We crafted a plan to facilitate a gift that would meet this family in their darkest hour.

Fast forward a few weeks, their friends received the financial miracle they never even imagined would come. It was a life-altering experience……for both couples. The recipient of radical, anonymous generosity felt so grateful, blessed, seen, and cared for. The giver of the radical, anonymous generosity felt a meaning in their life they have never expereinced before, especially with money. To put a cherry on top, the relationship remains pure.

Generosity always wins. Oh yeah, it also changes lives. Will you let generosity change your life today?

His Greatest Hook Shot

A few days ago, I stumbled upon a news story on my social media feed. However, much to my shock, it wasn't a recent news story. It's actually five years old, but since it's new to me, perhaps it's new to you, too!

It was about Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. In case you aren't familiar with him, I'll give you the cliff notes version. Kareem is regarded as one of the best basketball players who ever lived. He was a fixture of the 1970s and 1980s NBA, primarily known for his signature sky hook. He's a 6x champion, 19x all-star, 6x MVP, and second all-time leading scorer in NBA history. It's safe to say he won a lot of hardware! For many, his face belongs on the basketball Mt. Rushmore.

The news article I saw wasn't about his on-the-court efforts. Rather, it was something he did off the court, long after he last laced up his sneakers. In 2019, Kareem reportedly sold a bunch of the previously-mentioned hardware, including his championship rings and MVP trophies. As a reminder, these items are iconic in the sports world....and practically priceless. Yet, he woke up one morning and decided to sell them to a bunch of strangers. In total, he collected about $2.8M for parting ways with these artifacts.

Why in the world would he do that?!?!? This is where the story gets good! He elected to sell these pieces of memorabilia so he could donate the proceeds to at-risk youth. Upon being questioned about this decision, he said: "When it comes to choosing between storing a championship ring or trophy in a room, or providing kids with an opportunity to change their lives, the choice is pretty simple. Sell it all. Looking back on what I have done with my life, instead of gazing at the sparkle of jewels or gold plating celebrating something I did a long time ago, I'd rather look into the delighted face of a child holding their first caterpillar and think about what I might be doing for their future. That's a history that has no price."

Kareem has every reason in the world to covet, cherish, and possess these trinkets of his success. Yet, he took the most counter-cultural and anti-materialistic approach possible: he sold it and blessed people.

Mission and memories. That's what I think of when I learn about these types of acts. Nobody can take away his athletic feats or accomplishments. Millions of people (mostly Lakers fans) will take to their graves the way Kareem made them feel. A trophy or ring doesn't define it....it already happened! So, the natural next step is to lean into the mission part. He used what he had to move the needle in other people's lives.

While we probably don't have trophies or championship rings worth millions lying in our nightstands, we all have something to give. Possessions are just things. Sure, they are cool. Sure, they are fun. But they are still just things. Meanwhile, mission and memories are forever.

It’s Not About Looking Down

I was recently at lunch with a few friends. Both are successful in their own right, but one is considered uber-successful by most accounts. I don't know specifics, but I suspect he has tens of millions of dollars.

When our server delivered the check, I told the guys I'd like to pick up lunch for the group. They both thanked me for the gesture, and we went about our business. However, as we were standing in the parking lot, the successful-but-not-tens-of-millions-successful guy approached me and asked, "Why did you buy our lunch? We didn't need you to do that....especially (other guy)."

Correct, neither of them "needed" my generosity. They are both financially blessed, and money is certainly not an issue. I didn't show them generosity because they "needed" it, but rather because I wanted to bless them.

Giving isn't about assessing where we stand on some superficial hierarchy compared to a potential recipient of our gift. That's a cheap and shallow way to perceive giving. Rather, giving should be about the act of blessing someone.....period. Whether it's a financial gift or some other form of service/sacrifice, it should be done with a sincere heart and pure motives.

I absolutely believe in giving to people in need. I believe in that deeply. However, it's not about looking down. It's about looking outward. It's about putting others before ourselves and being willing to serve others with whatever we have to share. I'm so grateful I'm able to buy my friends lunch. It was an honor to do so!

Here's my encouragement for you today. When you give, don't do so through some arbitrary scorecard. Just give. Just share. Just bless others. Don't look down.....look outward.

Multiplication, Not Addition

My head is still spinning from last night's debate. Perhaps yours is, too. Therefore, I thought a little palette cleanser would be welcomed today.

Amidst all the craziness that hit my social media feeds last night, this little gem popped up. Gold. Pure gold. Check it out! This is one you have to see for yourself. My words can't properly frame up how this situation played out. So, if you didn't click the link above, here's another chance!

We’re not crying, you are 🥹 pic.twitter.com/7Wiv2QUuqM

— New York Red Bulls (@NewYorkRedBulls) March 25, 2024

Generosity isn't addition. When we give, it's not making a dollar-for-dollar, hour-for-hour, or act-to-act impact. It multiplies. It transcends the original gift, oftentimes spiraling into something much, much bigger than initially intended. This player thoughtfully shared his jacket with one kid, ultimately blessing all the kids. One simple act of generosity multiplied into something much bigger than him.

That's the opportunity in front of each of us. We can use our resources to add to our own pot, or we can multiply them by sharing. It's an important choice, and, for me, it's an easy choice. Multiplication is always more powerful than addition. Generosity always wins.

Putting THEIR Money Where MY Mouth Is

One of my clients recently received an unexpected $2,000 (after-tax) bonus. Excited about this newfound money, they quickly commenced negotiations about where this money should go. There were several options on the table:

• New furniture

• Disney World

• New hunting equipment

• Revamp the wardrobe

• Invest it into retirement

• Pay down the car loan

• Plus a handful of others

When our next meeting rolled around, making a final decision was the top priority. I stood at the whiteboard, jotting down every idea mentioned. After all ideas were exhausted, I added one more: "Give it away."

Instant pushback! They explained they needed this money, pointing at the lengthy list drawn out on the whiteboard as evidence. They "needed" this money. That word was mentioned at least a dozen times, which is exactly why I wanted to open this alternate door.

The fact they "needed" it, in their words, is the exact reason they "needed" to give it away. They've lost perspective. That's not an indictment on them; we all do! It's so easy to get caught up in our own situations that we lose sight of the big picture. They've done a great job. They are doing a great job. They will continue to do a great job. They are blessed. They will be just fine.

Generosity always wins. And by always wins, I'm referring to everyone involved. The recipient wins, as a need is met. The giver also wins. Psychologically and emotionally, there is no better use for money than to give it to someone who has nothing to offer us in return. That single act sets off a chain reaction deep down within us, leading to meaning, fulfillment, and contentment.

Contentment. That's important here. As I've highlighted (er, beat a dead horse) in multiple recent posts, we live in a culture of more. More money, more stuff, more status, more more. It has a weighty gravitational pull. Even for those who most staunchly oppose such culture (I'd put myself in that camp), it's a hard gravitational pull to avoid. We're all human, after all. However, there is one thing that can combat the materialistic pursuit of more: contentment. And one of the most significant contributors to contentment? Generosity! Generosity is exactly what the doctor ordered! It's almost like we've been created to give!

This is one of the main reasons I so badly wanted this family to give the $2,000 away. They need contentment. They need to jump off the hamster wheel of more. They need perspective. And you know what? They did it! They decided to test out my "absurd theory" (their words) and give this whole generosity thing a try. They pondered who, how, and where to give it, made a plan, and executed!

Their response: "It was transformational. I don't know why or how, but it was. We just feel different."

Yes! It is different. It's one of those things you can't quite put your finger on, but once you know, you know. Contentment through generosity.

They looked at each other, smiled, and one excitedly said to the other, "Let's do it again."

A Prescription For Generosity

The last few days have been quite stressful on my end. Between work obligations, travel, pain experienced by people I care about, our recent NV debacle (again), and sickness, my stress level is at 100. Needless to say, I was a mess yesterday. There's a partial cure for this type of stress, though: Generosity! Knowing I was hurting, I did exactly what I knew would help alleviate what ails me. I looked for opportunities to be generous. 

Throughout the day, I stumbled upon two opportunities to bless someone. Each was fun. Each made a difference (I hope). Each helped make me feel better. I've spent years thinking about why generosity oddly helps alleviate all sorts of troubles. Here's what I've come up with:

• When we give, we turn our focus from ourselves to someone else. 

• Science has proven that giving makes us happy.

• When we give, it's a subconscious signal that we have enough....and we'll be ok.

• Giving is a reminder of a broader calling.

No, my problems didn't magically go away. As I'm writing this, I'm still stuck with the same set of circumstances. Nothing is fixed. However, I feel peace and calm. I feel content. I see the bigger picture. It's a mess, but a purposeful mess. 

Give generosity a try. This is my formal prescription for you. When you're having a sucky day, find an opportunity to be generous. When you're stressed or overwhelmed, give. When it all feels like too much, take a moment to serve someone else. It makes a difference. 

Today is a new day! I hope it's better for me, and I hope it's better for you, too. Either way, it's also an amazing opportunity to bless someone. Keep your eyes open and your purpose clear. Have a great day!