Oops, I Did It Again

Oops, I did it again. Be honest, did you just sing that line? No, today's post isn't about Britney Spears.

I've spent a lot of time writing about the importance of accepting generosity from others. Being able to accept a gift is an act of generosity in and of itself. The act of acceptance allows the other person to be a blessing, while the act of deflecting, denying, and deferring is a selfish act of pride. I wrote a piece two years ago about how I whiffed on an opportunity to let a friend bless me. I stole his blessing, robbing him of that gift.

Here's where Britney Spears comes in. I did it again yesterday! After two years of nearly flawless execution, I selfishly robbed my friend of his opportunity to be generous with me.

I was at a local coffee shop owned by my friend. As I approached the counter, he was running the register.

Me: "I'll have a small black coffee, please."

Him: "You bet. The coffee is on me today."

Me: "No, no, that's ok. You don't have to do that."

As I entered my phone number into the terminal to log my rewards, I (kinda) changed my mind.

Me: "Well, actually, ok."

But at that moment, I realized I had enough points for a free drink.

Me: "It looks like I have enough points for a free drink. I'll just use those."

Him (in the nicest tone): "That's you still not accepting my gift."

Wow. Just wow. He was right. I deflected his gift. I robbed him of the opportunity to be generous with me. I was prideful and selfish. I have no idea why I did it, but I immediately caught myself. I apologized profusely and named what I had just done.

As I walked out the door an hour later, I told him that our interaction inspired my next blog post and I would forward it to him. So, friend, here you go! I so much appreciate your generosity and friendship, and I'm sorry for robbing you yesterday! That was totally lame of me!

It just goes to show how culturally wired we are to deflect, deny, and defer. This is a topic I write about frequently and think about daily. This idea is at the core of my being, yet I failed yesterday.

I've said it on this blog or on this podcast in the past, and it's a hill I'll die on: We can't be truly generous unless we're able to receive the generosity of others. It sounds counter-intuitive, but the act of receiving can transform us in more ways than we can understand.

Yes, be generous. Give. Give ridiculously. Give in a way that makes people think you're insane. Give so much that it hurts, then keep giving so much that it feels good. Give, give, give. But at the same time, don't rob others of their generosity. Be humble. Be loving. Say yes. Show gratitude. Receive the gift.

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