When the Legs Go Numb
We had our first big snowstorm of the season in the Midwest this week. So much so that it caused school to get canceled one day and delayed the next. The boys were excited, but for more reasons than one. In addition to skipping school, they were excited to shovel the driveway and sidewalks. Not only was it snowy, but it was cold; negative five degrees cold. Despite that, the boys spent nearly an hour outside before their delayed school day started, shoveling away. It was fun to see a couple second graders out there putting in the grind. At one point, Finn came in, claiming his legs were going numb. I encouraged him to come inside to warm up for a bit, and then continue his good work.
They were proud of themselves, and I was proud of them, too. They were also excited to make some money. They didn’t know how much it would be, but they knew it would probably be good.
I don’t believe in allowances. From a behavioral science perspective, allowances teach kids they are entitled to something. That’s not how the world works, though. Earning money requires work. Hard work. Sometimes undesirable work.
Here’s how it works in our house, and how I teach it to hundreds of parents. My kids have responsibilities in the house because they are members of the family. Put their laundry away, throw their clothes in the hamper, take their dishes to the sink, change the trash. Normal stuff. They don’t get paid for these tasks, but they are expected to step up and do so without complaining.
Then, there are always opportunities to take on projects for pay. Mow the yard, shovel the snow, rake the leaves, clean the garage, etc. Each project is accompanied by compensation, but they don’t know how much until they are done.
This next part is important. They NEVER get paid by the hour. They get paid for performance. If they crush a task, they get paid as such. If they mail it in, their pay reflects that as well. I don’t care how long it takes. I care about effort and excellence.
They each made $20 for shoveling. I could have paid them less….far less. But I’m not paying for second graders to shovel. I’m paying to have the sidewalk shoveled, period. We shouldn’t train our kids to expect crappy pay because they are young. We should train our kids that excellence is rewarded and a lack thereof is not.
It’s not perfect. They still gripe at times. Their laziness pokes its head out once in a while. But it’s a journey. I have another 10 years to train them up before the world will test them and push them. My job is to prepare them, not coddle them. I’m proud of those two little men. One day, one project, one failure, one win at a time.
Keep fighting, parents! Whether you have 13 years or 13 months left before they leave the nest, there's still amazing work to be done....and you're the perfect person to show them the way.
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