The Flourless Cake

Have you ever baked a cake? I've baked a few in my life, and fortunately, it was under the watchful eye of my mom. As a kid, I remember using her cookbook to determine the exact ingredients in the exact ratios. My favorite ingredient was the sugar, of course. After all, that's what made the cake actually taste good. If I had my way, I probably would have elected to replace the gross-tasting flour with even more sugar. If sugar is what makes it taste good, then why not let the sugar dominate!?!? Can you imagine how bad that all-sugar, no-flour cake would have tasted? It would have been a disaster.

During a recent conversation with a client, I asked both spouses what they wanted. They both shared a similar answer. In short, their objective in life was to retire as early as possible (late 40s or early 50s) and spend more time with family.

Curious about where this was going, I asked, "And what else?"

The husband looked confused, so he cleared the air: "Nothing else. We're just going to spend time with friends and family."

Wanting to be sure I understood, I asked one more follow-up: "But nothing else?"

"Nope, we're going to relax and just spend our time with friends and family. Travel, too.....probably with family"

Perhaps this is an unpopular opinion that will be met with a violent backlash, but this seems like a flourless cake. Relaxing and spending time with loved ones is the sugar. It tastes good! It's fun. It's enjoyable. It gives life flavor. But if all we're adding to the batter is sugar, like my childhood baking example above, that's going to be one disaster of a cake.

Work. Purpose. Impact. Service. These are the flour. They don't always taste as good as the sugar, but they are what make a cake a cake. They balance out the ingredients to create something beautiful.....something delicious.

Just as we shouldn't have a flourless cake, we also shouldn't have a sugarless cake. While it might come out of the oven actually looking like a cake, it probably tastes dull and bland. Nobody wants that cake, either! We gotta have the sugar, too!

Our obsession with and idolization of retirement is turning us into a bunch of flourless cakes. We glorify a life of leisure so much in our culture that we forget to add all the ingredients to the bowl in healthy ratios.

My goal isn't to turn an entire generation into a bunch of work-obsessed robots. Rather, I deeply desire for people to see the good in their work. Further, if people understood how much value work adds to their lives, they would quit racing to the finish line (i.e., retirement) and instead pursue work that actually matters to them. Lots of sugar for taste, a healthy amount of flour to give it body, in a ratio that makes it light and fluffy. That sounds like an absolutely delicious cake!

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Back Against the Wall

There's an interesting theme I've noticed over the years. I think about this often, and it was brought up to me by a friend yesterday. When successful business owners or entrepreneurs are interviewed about their origin stories, they don't usually say, "Yeah, life was pretty good, and I was really content where I was, but I threw it all in the trash so I could start over and significantly increase the stress and risk in my life."

Rather, it's usually something more along the lines of, "I lost my job, my girlfriend broke up with me, and I was living in a dump, so I figured, 'why not give it a shot?'" I might have exaggerated that a bit, but there's usually an inflection point of pain that precipitated the career move.

Why is that? Why is it that people who built something amazing didn't start until life punched them in the face? That's a rhetorical question, as I have my own theory: OK is the worst place to be. When we're OK, we're just good enough not to want to rock the boat of life. OK means we're probably not overly miserable, overly impoverished, or overly hungry for better.

I'd argue that OK robs us of a thirst for meaning. OK allows us to say, "It could be worse," and then take steps to prevent "worse" from happening. Sure, I might not be happy, but at least I'm not miserable! Thus, we hold on to "not miserable" like our life depends on it.

On the flip side, I'm watching person after person who experienced profound pain, loss, suffering, and uncertainty pursue a much different path. A scary path. An unknown path. A non-linear path. It's the hardest thing they've ever done, yet at the same time, they report it's the most meaningful they've ever lived.

It's also funny how this group of people wouldn't wish away their painful inflection points, as that would mean wiping their eventual decision to pivot in life. Looking back, the worst thing they ever experienced led to the best.

And all it took was for their backs to be put against the wall. I don't feel bad for people who were put in absolutely terrible gut-wrenching back-against-the-wall positions. I feel bad for the people who have experienced a lot of OK without the pain. Perhaps it's time some of us put our own backs against the wall and use it as an opportunity to live the life we're meant to live. I’m not saying everyone should turn their lives upside down and abandon their jobs, but for those of you silently suffering in the discontent of OK (you know who you are), I’m talking to you!

Whether you're OK, living in deep meaning, or have your back against the wall as we speak, keep fighting for it! It's worth it. I hope you have an amazing day!

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Here

Sarah and I recently stumbled upon a fascinating film. I was scrolling through Netflix while Sarah vetoed movie after movie. Nothing sounded good to her, and she wanted me to know that. Eventually, frustrated by her unwillingness to commit, I picked something and said, "This is the one! We're going to watch it, and we're going to enjoy it." It indeed was the one.

The movie is called Here. Released last year, it stars Tom Hanks and Robin Wright, and was directed by Robert Zemeckis (the creator of Back To The Future and Forrest Gump). It's one of the most unique films I've ever watched. For example, the entire movie is set at a single camera position, and the screen never fades out; one continuous shot for 1 hour and 45 minutes. See, fascinating!

Photo Credit: IMDB

It's been nearly two days since we watched it, and I can't get it out of my head. At its core, the movie is a reflection on so many of the ideas shared in this blog:

• The pursuit (or not) of meaningful work.

• How deeply our relationships are woven into the quality of our life.

• The cultural and financial pressures to abandon our dreams.

• The struggle and joy that comes with parenting.

• The impacts (both positively and negatively) our sacrifices make in our journey.

• The haunting power of regret.

• The fleeting nature of time.

• Our inescapable need for meaning and fulfillment.

• The relational and emotional impact of debt and financial tension.

• Our human desire to establish roots.

• The beauty of the simplest and most mundane parts of our lives.

• The humbling reality of our own mortality.

• The miracle of forgiveness and redemption.

• The bonding qualities of sharing a meal together.

• The importance of celebrating major milestones in life.

It was simultaneously the saddest and most joyful thing I've watched in a while. I can't help but reflect on my own journey as a man, a husband, and a father. Life is indeed fleeting, and I ought not waste it.

If you enjoy this blog, I highly recommend you check out this film on Netflix. I can't promise you'll like it, but I can promise it will make you think. I hope you have a wonderful day, filled with beauty in both the big things and the small things.

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Boy, That Escalated Quickly!

In the words of Ron Burgundy, "Boy, that escalated quickly!" Yesterday was one of those days. You know what I'm talking about. The kind of day where you planned one thing, but something totally different happened. The kind of day where everything that could go wrong does go wrong. The kind of day that every time you solve one problem, another replaces it like some twisted game of whack-a-mole. The kind of day where you have problems in areas you didn't even know you had problems. You know, that kind of day!

I typically feel like my work is a juggling act of six distinct endeavors. Each one of them posed its own issues yesterday. It was a tremendously hard day. It wasn't fun at all. I felt like I got chewed up and spit back out. But it sure was rewarding.

This is what often confuses people when I talk about pursuing work that matters. The mere idea of "work that matters" instantly triggers thoughts of rainbows and sunshine. Whenever work is spoken about through the lens of meaning, it conjures up assumptions that it's fun, enjoyable, simple, or easy. The truth is, this couldn't be further from the truth. Pursuing work that matters doesn't mean we're trying to find any of those things.

Meaningful work isn't that. It can be....sometimes....on good days.....well, part of those good days. But at the heart, that's not what it's about. Pursuing work that matters means we're doing something that provides meaning, fulfillment, and purpose to our lives, all while adding value to others, regardless of how fun it is or isn't.

Fun is fleeting. Easy is empty calories. Those aren't the ingredients to work that matters. What's most imporant is the meaning component. Unlike fun and ease, meaning satiates. So while I was completely gassed last night, feeling like I got run over by a snow plow, I was fulfilled, satisfied, and content. Yesterday was exactly what it needed to be, and it turns out, yesterday needed to be anything but fun.

I love what I do more than anything in the world, but not because it's fun. I regularly find myself engaging in the most gut-wrenching conversations of my life, encountering problems I never know if I have the stomach to deal with, all while sabotaging my former life's pursuit of comfort and material wealth. Sarah and I were just talking recently about how much harder life is now than it was six years ago before I left my safe, lucrative, and cushy career. We laughed for a moment, then sighed, before simultaneously acknowledging we wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Another reminder that we've found it......work that matters.

I hope you have a meaningful day today. Not a fun day, a meaningful day. Well, I hope you find some fun along the way as well. We all need a little fun!

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Running Away or Running Toward

I was already contemplating a specific follow-up to my recent post titled Bummer. I still had more to say about this topic, and wanted to make one very clear point. However, my friend Mertz beat me to the punch. He immediately sent me a thoughtful response and asked the very profound question I was hoping to address: Is it possible to like/love your job and still celebrate Fridays?

To summarize, statistics (and my own experience) show that 7 out of 10 Americans dislike or hate their job. A never-ending state that's straddled somewhere between tolerance and misery. My general point is that we should create a life for ourselves that doesn't require us to celebrate Fridays and dread Mondays.

But what about Mertz's question? Can't we have both? Can't we like/love our work and still celebrate Fridays? I couldn't love this question more! For me, I think it comes down to the answer to the next question: Are you running away or running toward?

In other words, do we celebrate Fridays because we're trying to find reprieve from the misery, or do we celebrate Fridays because we're excited for what's to come? It may seem like splitting hairs, but I think it's a cavernous divide.

There's another way to look at it, which was also echoed by Mertz. Perhaps the weekends can be a celebration of a hard week's work well done. Perhaps the weekend is a time to temporarily step away, recharge, and get our head back in the game the following week. Mertz is right....he's so right! One of the reasons I know he's right is that he finds meaning in his work. He's not running away from anything. Sure, his work can be challenging, stressful, and trying......all work has components of this. But when push comes to shove, Mertz pursues work that matters.

I also know he's right because I know what his weekends look like. His weekends are loaded with quality family time, adventures, and dutiful, joyful service at his church. His weekends are valuable to him; not as an escape, but as another meaningful part of a meaningful life.

Here's my last observation about Mertz. I know weekday Mertz, and I know weekend Mertz. It's the same guy. He carries himself with the same energy, generosity, and thoughtfulness whether I see him in the thick of his stressful week or at a casual family event at church. He's the same, and that's a tell!

I do think we should get excited for weekends. I think weekends should be a wonderful time to relax, recharge, spend time with those we love, go on adventures, and prepare for the challenges ahead. I believe all of that. But I also believe it should be through the lens of running toward something, not running away. Through the lens of meaning over money, I believe a meaningful life should be comprised of seven days per week, not just two.

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When Taylor Swift Gives You That Look

I recently ran into one of my former youth group kids. I haven't seen him in a few years, so it was fun to catch up. When I asked him what he's doing for work, his face changed. He shared about a job that seemed uncharacteristic for who I know him to be and for what he dreamed of doing. "That's cool, but what about your dream to _______?" He sighed. Here's what he said. After having enough people tell him his dream was foolish, stupid, and unrealistic, he decided to "get a real job." I could see the frustration in his eyes.

This is the type of rhetoric and narrative that leads us to a point in society where 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs. 7 out of 10 of us are living with some form of misery in our work. And then, with the best intentions, we say things and do things to separate people from their dreams, resulting in them following in our footsteps of pursuing work they will likely hate. Thus, the cycle continues.

I know someone else who is foolish, stupid, and unrealistic. His name is Cole, and he's my Meaning Over Money partner. I've talked about Cole countless times on this blog, so this story might not be new to you. After Cole graduated from college, he, too, initially conceded that a "real job" needed to replace any dreams that lived within him. Then, after just a handful of weeks at said real job, he impulsively quit and recklessly started pursuing his dream. It was a mess, but it was his mess.

Last Sunday, I texted Cole and asked if he'd have time to edit the following week's podcast episodes:

"No."

"Why not? What do you have going on?"

"I'm at Arrowhead today."

"Ohhhh. Taylor Swift duty?"

"Yep."

A few hours later, he sent me this video:

You might have seen it if you were tuned into the ESPN pre-game show. It was a short clip of Taylor Swift walking through the underbelly of Arrowhead Stadium, preparing to watch Travis Kelce suit up for a chance to go to the AFC Championship Game. Cole shot that for ESPN. Watch as she turns the corner and looks back at him. That look!

I don't think Cole is all that special. He's not extraordinarily brilliant, though he’s sharp. He doesn't stand above the crowd, though he’s talented. He doesn't have some special privilege or access that's unavailable to the rest of us. I do think three things set him apart from most people, though. Again, these three traits aren't special, but the presence of these traits can create something special:

• He believes in himself and his calling.

• He values meaning more than anything.

• He doesn't care what others think.

All three of those traits are available to each of us. So, while Cole isn't special, the path he chooses is. It's the path of the 30%. The path toward meaning over money. The pursuit of work that matters.

Our mission isn't to follow in Cole's footsteps. Our mission is to follow the steps we're each meant to follow.

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More vs. Better

One of my friends received an amazing job offer! It's a different company within her industry. It offers more robust responsibilities, a higher-profile role, and better visibility to leadership. It provides tremendous growth opportunities in multiple directions. Did I mention it's also DOUBLE her existing compensation structure? We're talking about a massive pay raise. I don't mean this to sound like hyperbole, but she'll likely never have to worry about money again. It's that type of offer.

She turned it down.

Yes, that's correct. She said "no." She walked away from what most would consider the opportunity of a lifetime. Pretty stupid, right? Well, stupid by our culture's standards. That job offer was the epitome of what we fight for when trying to progress through our careers. We work, work, work, and work, hoping that one day we'll get that big break that changes everything. That was hers......and she turned her back on it.

Why in the world would she do something like that?!?!? I'll tell you why. She prioritizes better over more. She's living her best life right now. She loves her job, her co-workers, her leaders, the culture, the work, the responsibilities, and the balance she's created between work, marriage, parenting, friends, and serving. While this job opportunity could have provided more (much more!), it couldn't provide better.

This is what meaning over money is all about. I couldn't be prouder of her, happier for her (and her family), or more excited for what's likely to unfold in her life in the months and years to come. Her current path will surely push her, stretch her, challenge her, and reward her. It's going to be a fun journey.

Always choose better over more. Other people won't understand. You'll probably get criticized. Culture will call you stupid. It might be a more stressful path. It won't be as secure, comfortable, or easy. But better is always better.

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Repurpose It

As I was working with a small business owner yesterday, I experienced a full-circle moment. I was frantically drawing visual representations of a complex situation on the whiteboard. Adjacent, on the flat-panel monitor, was a mirror of my laptop screen, presenting a skeleton Excel model ready to come alive. That's when the full-circle moment hit me!

It took me back to a hot 130-degree day in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. I was visiting a client when a peculiar question arose. It was a concept I was familiar with but hadn't fully vetted. Out of necessity, and with the insights of the client and my colleague, we hashed through the idea and eventually found the answer we were looking for. From a broader perspective, though, I learned a concept that day that would stick with me for years.

Fast forward several years, and I had "thrown away" my career and transitioned to an entirely new career. All that wisdom, knowledge, and momentum, more than 15 years worth, gone. I spent the better part of two decades learning, growing, and building, and then poof (!!!!), I threw it all away......

......except I didn't. Nothing in life is wasted. Everything we do, learn, and accomplish is the springboard to what's next. Rather than throwing it all away when I left that career, I repurposed it. Next thing I know, I'm taking those same concepts into meetings with my dry ice manufacturing client. Then, something else happened. In bringing my previous experience, skills, and insight to the table, I actually learned even more! Not only did I not waste it, but it was a springboard to get even better.

Fast forward a few more years to yesterday, and I was sitting in a conference room with a small business client. This same concept I learned in Saudi Arabia, then enhanced with a dry ice manufacturer, was being used again to serve a totally different type of business. Nothing is wasted!

This concept applies to everything! Every learning, every experience, every interaction, every skill, and every relationship leads to the next. If that's true, then I'd encourage you to never condemn yourself for the possibility of "throwing ____ away." That's a toxic mindset that cements us in our place, conceding that our present reality is our inevitable future.

If that hits home for you, I encourage you to challenge yourself. If there's something in your life you want to do but would require you to "throw away" whatever experience, relationships, skills, or accomplishments you've garnered to date, ask yourself if that's really true. If nothing is wasted, you aren't throwing anything away; you're repurposing it.

For me, this epiphany was a game-changer. It gave me the freedom and permission to expand the vision, dream bigger, and be willing to make counter-cultural shifts in my career and life. I dare you to try it.

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Focusing On the Right Keywords

I've received a bunch of feedback from yesterday's post about Cole's road-less-traveled approach to life and work, and how he exchanged security for meaning. Many found it encouraging, some believe my ideas are far-fetched and inaccessible to most, and some simply lashed out in anger. But two trusted friends sent me similar thoughtful responses that are worth digesting. In short, their responses followed one clear and specific idea: traditional jobs can provide meaning, too.

I'm often accused of swinging the pendulum too far in favor of self-employment and business ownership, but that's never my intent. Rather, I try to focus on keywords. Did you spot the keyword in yesterday's post? First, I'll tell you all the NON-keywords:

• It wasn't "security"

• It wasn't "steady"

• It wasn't "good office job"

• It wasn't "responsible job"

• It wasn't "safe"

There's nothing inherently wrong with any of those things. Here's the keyword from my post: "miserable." Cole was absolutely miserable in his job. It's not to say that Cole couldn't have found some level of meaning in that work, but him taking that job was a square-peg-round-hole type situation. The only redeeming value of that job was whatever money or security it provided. It was a means to an end. With that said, that exact job might be the dream job for someone else. Someone with a different wiring, different calling, different passion, and different skillset might have crushed that role.

See, it's never about chasing insecurity, counter-culturalism, irresponsibility, or controversial path. It's about chasing meaning. It's about understanding ourselves enough to know what work matters to us, and what work doesn't. For as much as I'm impressed by Cole's work, it sounds miserable if I put myself in his shoes. I would never want to do what he does, as it doesn't align with my wiring, calling, passion, or skillset. Vice versa, while I thrive in my work, it would be Cole's worst nightmare if he had to walk in my shoes.

I'm a HUGE fan of traditional jobs......if they align with that person's wiring, values, and objectives. It's not my job to tell people what work to pursue or not pursue. Rather, it's my job to help people find their ideal work, then aggressively pursue it. I know people who have worked the same traditional job for two decades and find a ton of meaning in it. Similarly, I know people who have bucked normal, chased entrepreneurship or self-employment, and are utterly miserable. The right answer is whatever is right for you. The wrong answer is whatever is wrong for you.

I spent 15 years in corporate America, and it was fulfilling for me. I could have absolutely stuck with that path for the rest of my career and had an amazingly fulfilling and meaningful journey. I recently ran into a bunch of my former colleagues, and many of them are living the most beautiful and meaningful lives.

I appreciate my friends for calling me out when it seems like I'm unintentionally bending one way on this. Never my intent. However, I will forever violently bend all the way in the favor of meaning. Always seek it, and never let others tell you where you should find it.

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Ode To Insecurity

Today's post is about Cole Netten, my Meaning Over Money partner. My relationship with Cole and his wife Kate began in their later college years, as they were about ready to graduate, get married, and join the working world. Upon graduation, Kate began her teaching career, and Cole found a pretty good office job. It wasn't the job of his dreams, but it was safe, steady, and provided security for his new family. It was a responsible job.

Just days into his new job, I invited Cole to lunch since we were now working in the same building. When he showed up, he looked like a shell of his former self. It was still Cole, but yet it wasn't. His zest for life seemed missing. His go-with-the-flow nature was replaced with angst. He looked absolutely miserable!

Within a matter of weeks, Cole impulsively quit his job and told Kate about this decision AFTER he did it. Yikes! What in the world was he thinking!?!? He landed a solid job right out of college! This job would have provided a nice income for them. It would have helped them grind out their debt. It would have allowed them a higher standard of living. It most certainly would have felt more secure. Yet, Cole instinctively lit a match and burned it down.

Fast forward several years, and Cole and Kate still don't have security. Their standard of living isn't something to envy. Their financial life is anything but steady or predictable. While all that may be true, there's something else I need to add: They live a truly blessed life. Cole's career as a filmmaker is just as choppy and uncertain as it's ever been. Kate primarily stays home with their THREE kids, from newborn to four. In my opinion, their marriage is something worth mimicking. They are truly a special couple. But "secure" isn't on their scorecard of life.

A few days ago, Amazon Prime released a new documentary titled ChiefsAholic, a film about a Kansas City Chiefs Superfan who was secretly living a double life as a serial bank robber. Cole helped make this movie!

Add this to the ridiculous list of projects he's done:

• Shooting feature segments for College Gameday.

• Manning Taylor Swift watch in the underbelly of Arrowhead Stadium for ESPN.

• Doing commercial work for prominent regional and national companies.

• An accomplished drone pilot.

• Shooting and grip work for feature Hollywood films and documentaries.

• Shooting post-game press conferences in the Kansas City Chiefs locker room.

• Shooting weddings for NFL superstars.

Oh yeah, and he's barely 30-years-old. He's done all this in less than a decade. What in the heck is he going to do in the next 10, 20, or 30 years? All because he turned his back on a "good" job. A "secure" job. A "responsible" job.

I'm so freaking proud of this guy. Not so much for what he's accomplished, but for the road-less-traveled example he's setting for hundreds or thousands of people around him. Meaning over money. Purpose over security. It's one thing to say it, but another to live it. He and Kate live it.

Take from this what you will. Oh yeah, and go watch ChiefsAholic on Amazon Prime!

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Choosing the Wrong Anchors

I was blessed with an opportunity to spend time with one of my closest friends yesterday. We don't see each other as much as we should, but man, it's great when we do. Our conversation triggered a concept I often discuss in my coaching, but has never come up on the blog. Well, today is the day!

Let's say you have a full-time job but are simultaneously working to transition to your dream job, your calling. You aspire to eventually transition full-time into the new gig. However, the elephant in the room is when. Every ounce of you wants to do the new thing, but the bulk of your time is invested in the old thing (which you don't particularly care about). How do you know when to flip the switch?

I'll use a real-life example of a friend. He makes $150,000 in his current full-time job, and has built his new business up to approximately $50,000 per year. Here's what I find most impressive about this. With only his leftovers (after working a full-time job and investing in his family as a husband and dad), he's managed to build up his dream business to $50,000 per year of income. Just imagine what he could do if he dedicated his best professional hours toward this growing passion!!!

One problem, though. Conventional wisdom says he shouldn't quit his full-time job until he's built up his new work to a similar income. In other words, once he's able to make at least $150,000 in his new gig, he can jump ship. This belief is founded on the idea that we should never go backward on our income. This is toxic thinking!

I'll state the obvious. There's very little chance my friend can build his new business up to $150,000 per year while giving it only scraps of time and energy. He feels stuck. He's frustrated. He's running out of steam. There's a chance he'll give up. Why? All because he chose the wrong anchor.

Please allow me to offer an alternative. Instead of trying to replicate his current income, he should seek to make enough. I pressed him with this question. "How much income do you need to make, combined with your wife's income, to pay for your basic needs?"

"About $40,000."

"So you're already there! You could quit today, focus full-time on your calling, and still care for your family. That sounds like a no-brainer decision!"

"I don't want to lose ground financially, though."

This is where I put the proverbial mirror in front of him, "So your standard of living and pride is more important to you than your calling. It's not that you can't, but rather you won't."

To his credit, he admitted that's probably true. I'm not trying to make him sound materialistic or egotistical. Rather, I'm trying to highlight the toxic power of choosing the wrong anchor. When we anchor our expectations on some arbitrary reality (a reality we’re trying to escape, mind you), it can rob us of our calling. Instead, I propose we anchor our expectations on what's enough. That subtle shift will change everything!

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The Tale of the Traveling Grandfather

Due to circumstances that are both ridiculous and irrelevant to this story, I rode the terminal-to-terminal train at the airport for over an hour last night. I had a three-hour layover, so no harm no foul. While I was busy watching the world fly by over and over, I struck up a conversation with an older man. He was headed abroad to visit one of his kids (and grandkids). The conversation started innocent enough, but it got real serious, real quick.

He and his wife, at the advisement of nearly every person in their lives, decided to take an early retirement (in their early 50s) in the late-1990s. They were in a financial position to make it work, and considering how much we glorify retirement in our culture, it seemed like an obvious step. He said it was the dumbest decision either of them ever made. They both loved their careers, but the allure of “not working” was too inviting. Retirement wasn’t all it was cracked up to be…..it didn’t feel like there was purpose. Then, his wife unexpectedly passed away. So sad. Here he was, a young-ish guy, having left a career he loved, mourning the loss of his partner. 

“What do you do now?” I asked him. “I’m a traveling grandfather.” Oh, tell me more! He explained that his kids were scattered all over the world; a handful in the U.S. and a handful in other countries. He bounces from kid to kid, helping out where he can and spending time with his grandkids. His eyes lit up when he shared about this lifestyle. “It’s a different way of life, but I love it.” Today, he’s nearly 80 years old, traveling the world, finding new ways to serve people and add value. He’s fulfilled and lives with a ton of meaning. It’s a unique path; it’s his path. 

There is no “right” path to live a meaningful life. But regardless of what it looks like for you, it doesn’t happen by accident. It certainly doesn’t happen by pursuing a life of leisure. It happens by identifying what matters most and finding ways to serve others through that lens. Our selfish culture says the key to happiness is to serve ourselves. That’s a bald-faced lie. The only true way to find meaning (not happiness) is through the service of others. It’s ironic that the best way to serve ourselves is by serving someone else. That’s what unlocks life-giving fulfillment and meaning. 

I feel terrible this man had to experience what he did along his journey, but it made my day listening to him talk about how much meaning he has in his life today. I’ll say it again. There is no right path to a meaningful life, which is why I never concretely define what it’s supposed to look like. But I can tell you one thing: It involves a heck of a lot more than the pursuit of a life of leisure, or money, or stuff, or status. Aggressively chase things that fill your bucket, and the best way to make that happen probably involves helping others fill theirs. 

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Throw Deep, Baby

Social media saves me again. I'm utterly exhausted from all that occurred in the past week (single dad life while Sarah traveled, Grandma's passing and subsequent funeral, basketball practices, and travel to Mississippi). As I pondered what I should write about today, I decided to open the inspiration machine (i.e. TikTok). It didn't take more than 45 seconds of scrolling for me to stumble upon a brilliant clip featuring Forrest Gump himself, Mr. Tom Hanks.

@dominatingmotivation2 If your gonna do something, Throw Deep.💯#motivation #mindset #quotes ♬ original sound - DominatingMotivation

I don't have the full context of this conversation, but he's being interviewed. The interviewer asks, "What is the best advice you've ever heard or received?"

Here is Tom's response: "Throw deep, baby. If you're gonna do it, do it. If you have the chance, do it. Don't pause. Instinct, man. If you got an instinct, go at it. Throw deep."

This is one of the scariest mindsets one can have. Throwing deep, relying on instinct, just hitting "go," not pausing, going for it. This is a sure-fire way to fail. If you approach life with this mindset, you WILL fail. Oh yeah, it's also why you'll succeed.

Ask any successful person about failure. They won't laugh at you and tell you how they never failed; far from it! Instead, they will probably elaborate, in great detail, about their many whiffs, failings, and embarrassments. Going deep is a recipe for disaster, and beauty. It's the secret to being humbled, and doing something that matters. It's the door to pain and suffering, and the joy of accomplishment.

I used to believe in playing life safe. Get an education. Get a "secure" job. Hold onto said job for dear life (even if it sucks). Be financially responsible; be frugal, hoard resources, keep them for myself. Coast through life, pursuing comfort every step of the way.

If you know me today, you hopefully associate me as the anti of all I just described. Throw deep, baby, as Mr. Hanks suggests. It's a tremendously difficult and humbling way to live life, but wow, it's meaningful. There's nothing safe about my family's life anymore. We have far less income, much more uncertainty, and anything but stability. But in its place is meaningful work, life-giving generosity, a spirit of adventure, and a relentless pursuit of meaning and impact.

Wherever this meets you today, I hope it gives you something to think about. Maybe you have a wild idea you're hesitant to run with. Perhaps you're itching (but scared) to start that business. Maybe you're being called to make a counter-cultural career shift. Perhaps you feel the nudge to open the floodgates of generosity.

Whatever is on your mind and heart today, I hope this triggers something within you. Throw deep, baby!

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The Freedom to Eat the Consequences

A while back, blog reader Ryan tipped me off to a few of the other daily publications he follows. One of them is called Daily Discipline by Brian Kight. It sounded intriguing as Ryan explained it, so I started following Brian's content. It's short, relevant, and thought-provoking. Yesterday's post was particularly compelling. In short, Brian proposes freedom comes in two forms: 1) the freedom to make choices, and 2) the freedom to bear the consequences of said choices.

It's a simple, profound, and brilliant idea, and aligns well with everything we talk about over here at The Daily Meaning. We are each the author of our own story, and we must take that opportunity and responsibility seriously. Far too often, we make poor financial and career choices with the freedom bestowed upon us. As Brian points out, with freedom to make choices comes a freedom to eat the consequences:

• According to MarketWatch Guides, approximately 66% of Americans live paycheck-to-paycheck. Income influences this, but not as much as you'd think. 48% of people earning $100,000-$200,000 live paycheck-to-paycheck, and 36% earning $200,000+ live paycheck-to-paycheck.

• According to Gallup, 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs. I talk about this statistic regularly, and it always pains me to do so.

We're blessed with the freedom to make any choice we want; more often than not, we use that freedom to make choices that impair our well-being and our future.

As we recognize our freedoms today, we should equally acknowledge the importance of using them to bring meaning, fulfillment, and impact into our lives. It's a huge responsibility, but also a massive opportunity.

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Broken Bones and Torn ACLs

I began a seemingly innocent client relationship about a year ago. It was a young couple making good money and generally having much success. They brought me into their lives to shift them into an entirely new gear. The goal was to go from good to great. Then, life happened. Within a short time span, this couple experienced significant turmoil. Pain and suffering, followed by pain and suffering, followed by more pain and suffering. It was almost laughable how brutally life crushed them.

Through it all, this couple simply kept going, one painful step forward after another. During one intense meeting, I asked them how they were approaching this season of life. His response: "There's nothing that can stop us when the mission is big enough." Wise and powerful words, and I couldn't agree more! This couple's mission and calling are profound, and it didn't surprise me that they kept moving forward.

This is a tell. When someone's mission is so important that not even the most absurdly painful roadblocks can derail them, it's a tell that they are doing exactly what they are meant to do. The moment I see this characteristic in a client is the moment I know they WILL win. It's not a matter of if, but when.

It reminds me of something I saw a few days ago. Longtime readers know my family is Twenty One Pilot superfans. We're actually going to see them perform this weekend! A news report recently broke on social media about their lead singer, Tyler Joseph. After nearly two months into their world tour, it was revealed that he broke his fibula and tore his ACL…..in the very first minute of his very first show. The show opens dramatically, with Tyler launching himself over his piano, grabbing a hanging mic, and landing in position for his start to Overcompensate.

But the very first night of the tour, he lands with a snap and pop......but nobody knew! He performed the entire 2-hour set in the immediate aftermath of this disaster. He subsequently performed the opening piano jump for another nine nights before eventually altering his entrance. Unbelievable! I need you to see it to give you the full context. Check out the video clip! It's not a great quality, but it gives a solid angle and perspective of the incident. I queued the video to start at the right moment (around the 2-minute mark).

It's weird to watch this through the lens of knowing he broke a bone and tore his ACL in this moment. In the words of my friend, "There's nothing that can stop us when the mission is big enough." That's the tell. It’s unknown when he’ll be able to surgically fix this injury, as they have shows scheduled through mid-May. As I watch Tyler work his way around the arena on Saturday, performing his heart out while creating memories for thousands of fans, I'll be thinking about this. He’ll undoubtedly be in tremendous pain, but also living out his calling. That’s awesome!

I hope you have a mission that's big enough to power you through the pain and suffering of life. It won't be easy, but man, it will be worth it!

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Ruin vs. Waste

I returned home last night after a brutal 30-hour travel day from Mongolia, to Korea, to Minneapolis, to Des Moines. I'll be emceeing a banquet tonight, so if the organizers were wise, they would have a stick handy to poke me each time I fall asleep. The following thoughts percolated in my brain while I explored the Seoul airport. 

I've had the same Pastor for about 13 years. His name is Mike. He has a particular way of meeting me where I'm at. He doesn't go over my head, or try to overcomplicate things. Instead, each week, he attempts to take this 2,000+-year-old text and communicate it to his congregation in a way that's not only understandable but applicable. He was certainly good at his craft 13 years ago, but after thousands more repetitions, I've recognized he's gotten progressively better. 

With that backdrop in mind, paired with my deep admiration and respect for him, he recently dropped a bomb that stuck with me. It landed so hard that I pulled out my phone mid-service to jot it in my Notes app. "Most of us aren't at risk of ruining our life. Most of us are at risk of wasting it." Now, Pastor Mike isn't known for mic drops or Mike Breen "Bang!" moments, but if he were, this would have been one. 

In my work, this is exactly what I see play out in families all across the country. Most people are trying to be responsible, accountable, and productive. There's a lot of public conjecture that says otherwise, but I firmly believe the vast majority of people are trying to do right. They aren't ruining their lives. They are very much keeping the train on the tracks (or at least attempting to). Go to work. Be present for their kids. Don't cheat on their spouse. Handle finances well enough to cover their needs. Put in an honest day's work (and earn promotions along the way). Go to church. Serve others in various ways, whether it be co-workers, neighbors, friends, or family. Most people aren't ruining their lives…..quite the opposite. 

However, now comes the next part. Watching people, in their pursuit of not ruining their lives, I see an awful lot of people wasting it. Unhappiness is at an all-time recorded high. Mental illness is skyrocketing. Study after study shows that state of workplace satisfaction is at miserable levels. I've quoted this study many times, but Gallup reports that 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs. 7 out of 10 people! When we spend half our waking hours in misery, that's a whiff. Yes, there's honor in pushing through and dutifully going to a job you don't love. That's called accountability and responsibility, which aligns well with the idea of not ruining our lives. However, sustained misery in the workplace is also a telltale sign of wasting one's life. 

There are other tells, though, and they often look like regret. Regret for not trying something. Regret for not truly engaging in faith. Regret for not taking that chance. Regret for not going on that trip. Regret for not serving someone. Regret for not investing in that relationship. Regret for not having the difficult conversation. None of these point to ruin, but every one points to waste. 

A friend recently asked me how I can live with myself for having given up so much money these last five years (since leaving my prior career). The answer is simple. Sarah and I don't want to waste our life. We live with ourselves knowing we are living a truly blessed life. Richer, but not in a financial sense.

Something worth thinking about today. I hope you're living a life you're neither ruining nor wasting. A life full of meaning.

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Uncle Joe Wants to Know the Alternative

We have a bit of a quandary on our hands. In yesterday's post, I highlighted the common "coincidence" of people tragically passing away shortly after retiring. In it, I proposed that perhaps we shouldn't underestimate the non-financial value that work provides in our lives, namely meaning and fulfillment.

That brings us to our quandary. If it's possibly true that people prematurely passing away is, in part, caused by a loss of meaning upon retirement, we're kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place.

• In one scenario, we just keep working our butts off and never "actually enjoy life" (but at least we stay alive).

• In the other scenario, we quit working ASAP so we can squeeze out every ounce of leisure until our limited days are numbered (and hopefully don't become an Uncle Joe).

Those are terrible opposing realities. Or, in the words of an e-mail I received yesterday, "So what am I supposed to do, then? Spend the rest of my life working at this sh**ty job, be too old to actually enjoy myself, and have it all be for nothing?"

I have maximum empathy for people with this quandary-filled perspective. It feels suffocating, like the walls are closing in. Today, I hope to offer a different perspective for my frustrated friend (and maybe for you, too). First, there are a few cultural assumptions embedded in our conundrum:

• Work = bad

• Not working = good

• The sole purpose of work is to earn financial resources.

• If 2/3 of our waking hours are spent working, then our working season of life is supposed to suck (but it will be made up for when we retire).

• Once we retire, we get those 2/3 of our waking hours back (i.e. not work), thereby finally enjoying life.

With that, here is my proposed reconciliation of this quandary:

• ALL seasons of life should be filled with meaning, fulfillment, and joy. Yes, even this week, this month, and this year. You deserve to live with meaning, fulfillment, and joy today, tomorrow, and every day.

• Work provides far more meaning and fulfillment than we give it credit for. Whether it's full-time, part-time, or volunteering, work that matters matters. We need to find meaning in our work.....or go find more meaningful work.

• Leisure, in and of itself, provides nothing of value. It's only when other components are added to the pot that we canenjoy the taste of leisure. Vacations are awesome because they are vacations. The moment vacations become life, it's just, well, life.

• We often view life as too binary. We shouldn't spend decades in a season that's 90%-100% work and 0%-10% leisure, then immediately transition into a season that's 0%-10% work and 90%-100% leisure. Instead, one might consider going from 60/40 to 40/60.

I'll put it another way. Let's create a life worth living today. Then next year, we do the same. 10 years from now, do it again. 30 years from now, ditto. If we're constantly pursuing meaning, we'll find just that: a meaningful life.

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Racing Toward (Untimely) Death?

I had coffee with blog reader Ryan yesterday (yes, this Ryan!). Meeting him and spending time with him filled my tank, for sure! During our discussion, he referenced a comment he made on the webpage last week. It was regarding my sudden wealth syndrome post. Here's what he said:

"Have you heard of the observation from small rural towns that when old farmers retire and move to town, they frequently pass away within 18 months? The medical reasons are varied but the correlation to loss of purpose would seem to be real. When financial independence strikes, don't lose your purpose and meaning."

Yes! Yes! Yes! Ryan for the win.....again. I think about this topic a lot and incorporate this concept into my keynote talk. Here's how I explain it.

Everyone has an "Uncle Joe" in their life. Uncle Joe worked his entire adult life. Eventually, Joe was finally able to retire so he could "actually enjoy life." Then, 12 months later, he died. If Joe had only found a way to retire sooner, he would have actually been able to enjoy his life. Moral of the story: We should race to the finish line, retire as quickly as possible, and start enjoying life (while we use the story of Uncle Joe's coincidental and untimely passing as Exhibit A for the urgency).

What Ryan is alluding to, and what I'd like to someday study, is the possibility that perhaps these tragic and untimely deaths aren't unfortunate coincidences. Perhaps there's more to the story. Maybe, just maybe, our work provides meaning. Maybe, just maybe, we weren't created to live lives of leisure. Maybe, just maybe, in pursuit of "actually enjoying life," we self-sabotage our meaning and fulfillment.

It reminds me of a news story I saw a few years back. An elderly man had just turned 102, and the news anchor was marveling (in a confused sort of way) that this man was still employed at his job. "Have you ever thought about retiring so you can enjoy the fruits of your labor?" I can't remember the man's response, but it was something like (paraphrasing), "I live a wonderful and healthy life. That is the fruit." Mic drop!

Maybe, just maybe, we should stop racing to the finish line.

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But Not Too Much Success

One of my friends founded a company out of his garage, bootstrapping his way from nothing to a little something. Fortunately for him, countless people were in his corner cheering him on.

After about six months, his new venture had escalated to the point where he was visibly thriving. Fortunately for him, many people were in his corner cheering him on.

Twelve months later, his business grew enough that he could quit his day job and focus 100% of his energy on this new dream. Fortunately for him, some people were in his corner cheering him on.

A few years later, his now full-time business was doing well enough that his family had more financial resources than they ever did when he was in his old career. Unfortunately for him, only a few people were in his corner cheering him on.

There's an old saying that goes something like this: people will cheer you on.....until you reach their level. Then, they want to tear you back down.

Have you ever experienced that? I have, and I suspect many of you have, too. It's a lonely feeling. It's a brutal reckoning when you realize the people you thought were your ride-or-die's were really your ride-until-you-catch-me's.

You're not alone if this hits too close to home. I have countless clients who have uttered some version of the phrase: "You're the only person we can tell this to. You're the only person who will truly celebrate it with us." It's sad, but common.

Never fear, though. These moments are the magnifying class of relationships. This is where you find out who is really behind you, and who puts conditions on the relationship (like that condition that you must do worse than them). It's a tough reality, but a good one to find out sooner rather than later.

Then, here's the good news. You'll find your real people. The ones who have your back no matter what. Lean into them. Embrace them. Treasure those relationships. Oh yeah, and keep going. Do what you believe is right, and don't let the others deter you from the good work you know you must do.

For what it's worth, I got your back. No matter how successful you become, I'm here for it. You winning does not mean I'm losing. It just means I have one more person to celebrate. Go do your thing!

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The Irony of Sudden Wealth

"What's the point, man?!?"

I've had the privilege of spending time with a few dozen people who became very rich, very quickly. I'm talking rich rich. Buy anything you want rich. Never worry about money again rich. Each person's story varies, but there are a few common triggers for the sudden wealth: professional athletes, lottery winners, inheritors, and founders.

On the surface, we look at these people with jealousy and hope that someday we will be as fortunate as them. That feeling is what causes tens of millions of Americans to play the lottery each week: the mere chance to strike proverbial gold.

More often than not, however, being suddenly wealthy isn't all it appears from the outside looking in. It's called Sudden Wealth Syndrome. It's a psychological condition that manifests in a number of different ways, including isolation, paranoia, addiction, and hangers-on.

But there's one Sudden Wealth Syndrome manifestation I want to lean into today: loss of meaning. Think about your life. You probably have to go to work, make money, and pay for your family's needs and wants. When you wake up in the morning, you have a purpose and a goal. If you serve people well, you are rewarded. If you don't, well, that's not a fun road. Whether you love your work or hate your work, there's still purpose behind it.

People with extravagant wealth, however, don't have that embedded purpose in their life. Oftentimes, their life is like a boat without a rudder. A very large, flashy, and expensive boat, but without a rudder nonetheless.

"What's the point, man?!?!" my friend loudly exclaimed, in a tone full of anguish and frustration. On the surface, this man is the winner of winners. Due to recent circumstances, he found himself in a reality he could only imagine in his dreams. He had tens of millions of dollars, with a high likelihood of tens (or hundreds) more.

Until recently, though, his life looked much different. He was ambitious, hungry, and had big dreams for himself. He had a rock-solid work ethic and a motor to achieve. He was happy! Then, it happened. The money happened. Practically overnight, he would never worry about money again for the rest of his life. He bought a house for himself, one for his parents, another for himself, a couple of cars, a bunch of toys, and a new wardrobe. He looked the part.

"What's the point, man?!?!" Despite having it all, he suddenly felt empty. When he woke up in the morning, there was no purpose, no mission. He could literally lay in bed, all day, every day, for the next 200 years and never run out of money. He had everything, and he had nothing.

He wanted to talk about money, but I wanted to talk about work. Whether we like it or not, work that matters matters. The science continually points to work being one of the primary drivers of happiness and fulfillment in humans, yet we spend the bulk of our adult lives trying to escape work. I find it ironic.

I'll share more about this friend in the near future, but I'll give you a little teaser: he got a job. The old him is back. He's really rich, still, but he has meaning and purpose.

Interesting.....

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