Jimmy V’s Free Rent

As I was basking in the glory of #3 Iowa State's 13-point comeback win on the Iowa Hawkeyes's home court last night, ESPN switched to coverage of its annual V Week programming, beginning with Jimmy V's iconic speech at the inaugural ESPY Awards 31 years ago.

Jimmy V lives rent-free in my head. I remember watching that event as an 11-year-old kid. I was just there for the highlights and to see my favorite athletes win awards, but then this other man stepped to the podium. I didn't know who Jimmy V was, but the moment he started talking, I was captivated. His words seemed paradoxical to me. How was he talking about his imminent death (something I had never heard discussed before) while doing so with so much vigor and optimism? He made a mark on me that I wouldn't realize for many years, and now can't get out of my head.

If you do any amount of research on Jimmy V, you'll quickly find that he was extraordinarily successful in his professional career. He was a basketball player, coach, and broadcaster. As a coach, he led NC State to a national championship in what is now considered a legendary moment in basketball history.

Yet, despite all his accomplishments and celebrity, his biggest impact on this world wouldn’t occur until the waning months of his life. In 1992, at the age of 46, he was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer. If you didn't watch the speech linked above, I highly recommend you do. It's the best 11 minutes you'll spend all day! He gave that speech nine months after his cancer diagnosis, and he passed away less than two months later. That speech, and its aftermath, created a movement that carries through to this day. His foundation, launched that night 31 years ago, has raised nearly $400M for cancer research.

Jimmy V passed away at 47 years old when I was just 11, yet the impact of his final months of life carries with me to this day. I think about his zest for life, his determination to keep moving forward, his insistence of living with meaning, his passion for making a difference, his contagious joy, and his self-awareness of his own mortality. I say this as a 43-year-old man, 31 years after his speech and death. In his final weeks of life, he managed to spark something in me (and likely millions of others) in ways that would ripple through time.

This is me turning my chair away from memory land and toward you. Your best work is in front of you. No matter how old you are, what you've accomplished, or what you think is to come, your best work has not yet been availed to you or the world. You will likely make more impact in whatever time you have left than everything you've done to date combined.

Do you believe that? I believe that. Let's find out.

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The Cheap Gifts Linger

Think about the most expensive gifts you've ever received. Picture them in your mind. How much do you think they cost? When we receive these gifts, an overwhelming feeling of euphoria can rush over us. It's exciting.....and fun! I can picture some of my most expensive gifts in my head. They are all in a landfill today. Chances are, yours are, too. Or you received it not long ago, and it will eventually make its way there. It's sad, but true.

Now, think about some of the cheaper gifts you've received. Gifts that were rich in sentiment, not in sticker price. Maybe it was a framed picture, a hand-made item, or a customized item created solely with you in mind. Let me guess: You probably still have some of these....and you'll have them forever.

We live in a culture obsessed with putting a price tag on someone's value. Or, as famously quoted by Michael Scott, "Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It's like this tangible thing that you can point to and say, "Hey, man, I love you this many dollars worth."

Sure, that was a hilarious scene in one of the all-time great Christmas television episodes, but there's truth in Michael's words. We treat others - and internalize how others treat us - by the dollar value of gifts.

The cheap gifts linger, though. Sentiment always trumps material value. One will be in a landfill in just a handful of years, and the other might be a cherished possession for decades to come. I once gave my grandpa a painting of our state's Capital. It was a beautiful piece. It didn't cost a lot, but it carried so much meaning and sentiment. He talked about that painting until the day he died. Today, I possess that painting, and will likely do so until the day I die.

The cheap gifts linger. Do you believe that? If so, perhaps it can (and should) change the way you approach gift-giving this year. Don't feel beholden to the almighty dollar. Instead, ask yourself if you're giving a gift that will end up in a landfill soon, or a gift that will linger.

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It's Still the Same You

One of my friends recently went from being middle class to having $50M in cash. By "recently," I mean a few years ago. Here's the thing, though. Nobody in his life, besides his spouse and a few others, knows this even happened. He owned a boring business that quickly grew bigger and more successful than most people realized. He sold it, and poof, he was mega-wealthy.

In an instant, everything changed. Yet, at the same time, nothing changed at all. During a recent conversation, he interestingly said, "I thought my life would magically change, but I'm still the same me." He seemed disappointed by that revelation. Money has a funny way of not impacting us like that.

We view money as the x-factor that will change everything for us. If I only had $_____, then I'd be happy. If I could just get to $____, then I wouldn't worry anymore. Unfortunately, that's not how it works. First, let me say the obvious. Having a bunch of money will significantly reduce one's month-to-month financial stress. That's the most Captain Obvious thing I'll say today. However, money does not cure most things in our lives. Taking it one step further, having lots of money will inevitably open up new challenges.

It's easy to look at someone with a ton of money and think, "It must be nice!" In some ways, I'm sure it is. On the flip side, however, those people still battle demons, loss, pain, and turmoil. Life is still life, regardless of how many resources you have.

What's the point of this rant? Don't rely on more money to dictate your happiness. Don't hold that carrot in front of you, believing that more is the answer to what ails you. Don't (falsely) believe that wealth is the remedy for all of life's problems. It's not. It can help in some situations, but at the end of the day, it's still the same you. Therefore, invest in the person in the mirror. Keep growing. Take care of yourself. Pursue meaning. Keep moving forward, regardless of your financial standing.

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Yeah, It's Okay to Hate Your Job, But….

I often rant about the importance of pursuing work that matters. It comes up here on the blog, on the podcast, and in my public talks. It's one of my foundational messages. I also touched on it in yesterday's piece.

In response, one friend (43 years old) wrote me yesterday; here's what he said: "Is it ok to hate my job? I don't hate it all the time, but I dread it most weeks. However I don't look for meaning in my work. I have a great family, awesome friends, and I enjoy my weekends. I have fun hobbies and I am plenty busy with my kids activites. We take two vacations a year and I'll probably get to retire by 60."

I told my friend I wanted to answer him publicly, and he's cool with that, so here we go!

Yeah, it's okay to hate your job. We live in a free country that allows us to choose whatever paths we want. I'm glad you have a great family and awesome friends. I can confirm you do, in fact, have a pretty amazing family and countless friends who would do anything for you. Such a blessing! I also love seeing pictures of your family's trips....so many memories!

On the flip side, I think you deserve better. I see how much your job kills you. I watch as you bounce back and forth between joy and dread. I've been with you on Sunday afternoons when the Sunday Scaries switch is flipped. I know you'd pretty much rather be doing anything other than what you do during the week. Yeah, I know it pays well, and you're financially comfortable, but it also looks like part of you is dying.

You excitedly say you can retire by age 60. First, that's 17 years from now! Do you really want your kids to spend their entire childhoods watching you merely tolerate your life? Let's just say you make it 17 more years.....then what? You'll still be relatively young, having tolerated the preceding two decades. What's next? Play golf? Sleep in? Live a life of leisure? You have so much to offer the world today, next year, and decades from now.

Yeah, man, it's okay to hate your job. Most other people do. Merely tolerating it is a culturally-approved way to approach life. You do have meaning in other areas of your life: family, friends, memories, etc. I'm just crazy enough to think you deserve both. I think you deserve to have meaning in your personal life AND your professional life. This is one of the areas where it's possible to have your cake and eat it, too.

I'll end by flipping it around on you. What if your kid was asking this question? Would you encourage them to sit in semi-misery for decades on end? You and I both know the answer to that question. Take your own advice. Live with meaning. Make an impact. Expect better; demand better. I think you deserve it, man!

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Those Little Tells

Once in a while, someone will ask me a simple but profound question about careers. "How do you know if you're in the right job?" It's a weighty question, and there are certainly many factors at play, but there's one thing I always look for: Those little tells.

I've had a great few days celebrating Thanksgiving with my family. Food, football, movies, and games. It was a great time, and we returned home from Kansas City last night. I couldn't be more excited for today. We're heading to Northern Vessel to grab some drinks, I have a ton of work to do, and then we're going to watch Iowa State football play for the chance to compete in the Big 12 Championship Game.

There's a little tell in there. It's the part where I said “I have a ton of work to do" in my long list of reasons why I'm pumped for the day. Between my dry ice client work, Northern Vessel strategic planning, and prepping for some client meetings, I couldn't be more excited for the work I'm about to do today. That's a little tell, but it's a big deal. The fact I'm looking forward to spending much of my Saturday working is a weird reality, but one I cherish.

Those little tells are everywhere. Do you count down the days and hours until Friday afternoon? Do you dread Mondays? Do you continually fantasize about vacations? Do you look forward to your next work shift? Do you often think about other jobs? Does your tank feel full (or empty) as you're returning home from work each day? Do you dream about retirement? Each of these can be a tell.

If your immediate reaction to my references about your job are indifference, misery, dread, or disgust, that may also be a tell. I sincerely think you deserve better than that. I believe you deserve to wake up each day knowing you’re about to do something that matters. Something that fills your tank. Something that moves the needle.

I also believe it’s 100% attainable. Listen to those little tells.

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Thankful For This

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you're having a wonderful day and spending it with the people who matter most. In a culture that encourages us to dwell on all the things we don't have, today is the perfect day to reflect on (and be thankful for) all we do have.

I'm thankful for a lot of things today, but I want to share one in particular with you. I'm thankful for this. I'm thankful for the opportunity to spend a moment with you each day through this blog. I'm thankful for the chance to share ideas, thoughts, and insights with a group of people endeavoring to live a meaningful life. I never take for granted the fact you spend a few minutes of your day reading my words on your screen. For the past few years, writing this blog each day has been one of the greatest joys in my life. I'm tremendously grateful for that, and I want you to know that today.

Have a blessed day, and I'm excited to see you tomorrow!

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Unspeakable Pain

In my coaching work, I get the honor of walking alongside people and sharing their highest of highs......and their lowest of lows. Yesterday was a lowest-of-lows sort of day. My phone rings; it's a client. The moment I picked up, I could tell something was off. The next 15 seconds ripped me apart in ways I could never imagine.

People all around us are walking in their lowest of lows. Maybe it's your neighbor. Maybe it's your co-worker. Maybe it's the person sitting next to you at the stoplight. Today might be the worst day of their life.

In moments like that, all I can think about is how money means absolutely nothing. I think about how you'd give every penny you have, plus every penny you'll ever have, to take away the pain. That's obviously not how it works, but only if it were......

Money does play a role in this, though. Painful moments are a reminder of the importance of getting right with our money so that WHEN pain happens, we can simply mourn, cry, grieve, and whatever other verbs need to be inserted here. We deserve the freedom to face the pain head-on, not deal with ridiculous financial nonsense.

It reminds me of a tasteless joke I often share with clients. When talking about my own history and journey with money, I say, "Sarah and I have enough problems in our marriage that we can't afford for money to be one of them." It was a joke, but all good jokes are based in truth. Each of us deserves to place financial matters in the back seat when it's time to deal with life life.

If you're living in a lowest-of-low moment as we speak, I'm deeply sorry. I feel for you and pray you find peace and comfort through it. If things are going well for you today, perhaps it's a good day to take one more step in getting right with your money.

I hope this moves the needle in you today. Not to create fear or anxiety, but to spark some motivation and urgency to get your financial house in order so you don't have to focus on financial matters when you're dealing with more important things. In many ways - sad ways - this is the heart of our meaning over money principles. Always meaning.....always. Please never lose sight of what’s most important.

You got this, guys, even those of you who are hurting today.

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The Tale of the Traveling Grandfather

Due to circumstances that are both ridiculous and irrelevant to this story, I rode the terminal-to-terminal train at the airport for over an hour last night. I had a three-hour layover, so no harm no foul. While I was busy watching the world fly by over and over, I struck up a conversation with an older man. He was headed abroad to visit one of his kids (and grandkids). The conversation started innocent enough, but it got real serious, real quick.

He and his wife, at the advisement of nearly every person in their lives, decided to take an early retirement (in their early 50s) in the late-1990s. They were in a financial position to make it work, and considering how much we glorify retirement in our culture, it seemed like an obvious step. He said it was the dumbest decision either of them ever made. They both loved their careers, but the allure of “not working” was too inviting. Retirement wasn’t all it was cracked up to be…..it didn’t feel like there was purpose. Then, his wife unexpectedly passed away. So sad. Here he was, a young-ish guy, having left a career he loved, mourning the loss of his partner. 

“What do you do now?” I asked him. “I’m a traveling grandfather.” Oh, tell me more! He explained that his kids were scattered all over the world; a handful in the U.S. and a handful in other countries. He bounces from kid to kid, helping out where he can and spending time with his grandkids. His eyes lit up when he shared about this lifestyle. “It’s a different way of life, but I love it.” Today, he’s nearly 80 years old, traveling the world, finding new ways to serve people and add value. He’s fulfilled and lives with a ton of meaning. It’s a unique path; it’s his path. 

There is no “right” path to live a meaningful life. But regardless of what it looks like for you, it doesn’t happen by accident. It certainly doesn’t happen by pursuing a life of leisure. It happens by identifying what matters most and finding ways to serve others through that lens. Our selfish culture says the key to happiness is to serve ourselves. That’s a bald-faced lie. The only true way to find meaning (not happiness) is through the service of others. It’s ironic that the best way to serve ourselves is by serving someone else. That’s what unlocks life-giving fulfillment and meaning. 

I feel terrible this man had to experience what he did along his journey, but it made my day listening to him talk about how much meaning he has in his life today. I’ll say it again. There is no right path to a meaningful life, which is why I never concretely define what it’s supposed to look like. But I can tell you one thing: It involves a heck of a lot more than the pursuit of a life of leisure, or money, or stuff, or status. Aggressively chase things that fill your bucket, and the best way to make that happen probably involves helping others fill theirs. 

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Throw Deep, Baby

Social media saves me again. I'm utterly exhausted from all that occurred in the past week (single dad life while Sarah traveled, Grandma's passing and subsequent funeral, basketball practices, and travel to Mississippi). As I pondered what I should write about today, I decided to open the inspiration machine (i.e. TikTok). It didn't take more than 45 seconds of scrolling for me to stumble upon a brilliant clip featuring Forrest Gump himself, Mr. Tom Hanks.

@dominatingmotivation2 If your gonna do something, Throw Deep.💯#motivation #mindset #quotes ♬ original sound - DominatingMotivation

I don't have the full context of this conversation, but he's being interviewed. The interviewer asks, "What is the best advice you've ever heard or received?"

Here is Tom's response: "Throw deep, baby. If you're gonna do it, do it. If you have the chance, do it. Don't pause. Instinct, man. If you got an instinct, go at it. Throw deep."

This is one of the scariest mindsets one can have. Throwing deep, relying on instinct, just hitting "go," not pausing, going for it. This is a sure-fire way to fail. If you approach life with this mindset, you WILL fail. Oh yeah, it's also why you'll succeed.

Ask any successful person about failure. They won't laugh at you and tell you how they never failed; far from it! Instead, they will probably elaborate, in great detail, about their many whiffs, failings, and embarrassments. Going deep is a recipe for disaster, and beauty. It's the secret to being humbled, and doing something that matters. It's the door to pain and suffering, and the joy of accomplishment.

I used to believe in playing life safe. Get an education. Get a "secure" job. Hold onto said job for dear life (even if it sucks). Be financially responsible; be frugal, hoard resources, keep them for myself. Coast through life, pursuing comfort every step of the way.

If you know me today, you hopefully associate me as the anti of all I just described. Throw deep, baby, as Mr. Hanks suggests. It's a tremendously difficult and humbling way to live life, but wow, it's meaningful. There's nothing safe about my family's life anymore. We have far less income, much more uncertainty, and anything but stability. But in its place is meaningful work, life-giving generosity, a spirit of adventure, and a relentless pursuit of meaning and impact.

Wherever this meets you today, I hope it gives you something to think about. Maybe you have a wild idea you're hesitant to run with. Perhaps you're itching (but scared) to start that business. Maybe you're being called to make a counter-cultural career shift. Perhaps you feel the nudge to open the floodgates of generosity.

Whatever is on your mind and heart today, I hope this triggers something within you. Throw deep, baby!

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Time Flies (Even When You're Not Having Fun)

We said goodbye to Grandma yesterday. It was a beautiful funeral service, and I’m so grateful for everyone who served, attended, and played a role in that experience. 

One of my highlights was spending time with my three cousins, whom I don’t see as often as I should. We aren’t as close today, but we were thick as thieves when we were younger; hanging out with them was always a high point of my year. It was so much fun catching up with them and their wives yesterday, and hearing about where life has taken them. 

My Mom and aunt put together some photo boards for the event, and the “cousin pics” were my favorites. So many memories, each of which is intimately intertwined with Grandma and Grandpa. Here’s a fun one!

In my head, this picture was taken about five years ago. However, considering the six boys in this photo now range from 37-49 years old, it’s safe to say it’s been a few more years than that. 

Time flies when you’re having fun…..and when you’re not. This life is so short, no matter how you live it. There are days, weeks, and months where it seems to move at a snail’s pace, but on the whole, it’s far too short. 

Far too often, in the pursuit of wealth, shiny objects, and fancy titles, we forget what matters most. We chase, chase, chase, forgetting what we are really searching for. Meanwhile, time melts away and the next thing we know, we look up and decades have sadly passed.

Therefore, I have just one clear and simple message today. Live your short life with meaning. Embrace every bit of it. Don’t let money, stuff, and status get in the way or taint it. You get one shot at this thing, so you might as well make it count. 

Have a meaningful day!

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You’ll Never Be Ready

I recently saw a stunning yet not surprising statistic. The U.S. birth rate is at a 75-year low. We're having half as many babies as we did in 1950 (12 per 1,000 people now vs. 24 per 1,000 people then). Even crazier, the birth rate has decreased every year since 1988. Wild!

There are many reasons why this trend has been so pronounced and consistent, including higher divorce rates, more career-focused dual-income families, and people waiting longer to get married. However, there's one reason I, for obvious reasons, see over and over and over. People regularly wait to have kids "until they are financially ready."

Some of you will laugh at my next statement, but it warrants being said. You will never be ready. Nothing in this world will prepare you, financially or otherwise, to have kids. Yes, kids are expensive. That notion gets a lot of air time. However, there's another fact that doesn't get near enough play. Kids only cost what you spend on them. Rich people have been having kids for centuries. Poor people have been having kids for centuries. We only have what we have.

Would it be nice to have more? Yeah, sure. But reflect on your childhood. Were you uber-focused on how rich or poor your parents were? In my hundreds of conversations about this topic, most people only fully understand their family's economic status once they are grown. To them, as a child, life was just "normal." I just chatted with a man who grew up in poverty. He noted that it wasn't until he was 19 that he realized they were "poor poor," as he put it. But he had nothing but wonderful things to say about his parents and childhood. He grew up in a loving lower-class family. The alternative to his amazing life would be if his parents threw their arms in the air and simply said "well, we can't afford it," erasing him from history. His parents were never going to be financially ready, yet here we are. They have a beautiful family…..and it's not because they did or didn't have money.

There are a lot of things NOT to do due to a lack of resources. Marriage and kids are not on that list. If you want to get married, get married. If you want to have kids, have kids. There's far more to life than money, and none more meaningful than relationships and family. 

Many of you already have kids. This message might not land on you at the right time in life. However, there are most certainly people in your life who need to hear this. Encourage them. Walk with them. Show them meaning over money. They will thank you someday.

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731 Ideas

In the reflective and surprised words of Ron Burgundy, "Boy, that escalated quickly." Two years; November 14th, 2022. Today is the two-year anniversary of publishing this blog each day. Two years. 731 days. 731 articles. 731 ideas.

About ten days into this insane endeavor, I wondered if I'd run out of ideas soon. Would I run out in a week? A month? I surely won't make it a year. 731 ideas in 731 days.

Even though I'm living it, it's hard to wrap my head around this notion of brainstorming, writing, editing, and publishing one article per day for 731 consecutive days.

There's precedent for this sort of behavior, though:

• I've brushed my teeth every day for 40+ years.

• I've eaten every day - multiple times - for more than 43 years.

• I've dressed myself every day for 40+ years..

• The list goes on.

So, I suppose there is a precedent for writing 731 articles in 731 days. Each of us is uniquely wired to create, maintain, and strengthen habits. What do all those things above have in common? They are worth it. It's worth brushing my teeth every day so the dentist doesn't have to drill holes through my head, and people around me aren't repulsed by my breath. It's worth taking the time to eat - multiple times per day - because I appreciate staying alive. It's worth dressing myself each day because I don't think anyone needs me walking around public naked. There’s precedent for each of us to do things that are worth it, even tremendously difficult things.

Similarly, it's worth writing this blog because it adds value to thousands of people's lives (hopefully yours, too!). It's worth it because writing every day helps me process what's going on around me and to thoroughly think through these ideas. It's worth it because writing each day builds discipline and grit that can be transported into other areas of my life. It's worth it because creativity begets creativity; each idea (good or bad) sparks another.

No, this isn't my advocation for you to start a daily blog. Rather, this is my encouragement to find something worth doing. Find something that fuels you, serves others, and makes you better. Find it, lean into it, lean into it harder, and watch where it takes you.

Have a wonderful day!

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Someone’s World

I lost my paternal grandmother yesterday. This comes nearly five years to the day after Grandpa took his last breath. During that five year stretch, I've said goodbye to all four of my grandparents. It's not a day to mourn, though. Today, I celebrate her and the long, impactful life she lived, passing away just a handful of weeks before what would have been her 96th birthday.

Grandpa and Grandma’s first time meeting the boys.

One idea I regularly process here on the blog is the call we each have to make an impact on this world. Whenever I use that phrase, it makes people cringe. Not because they don't believe in impact, but rather because they don't believe their existence will be world-changing (then citing an array of world-changing figures they are unfairly comparing themselves to).

While I believe each one of us has the power to change the world, the reality is most of us won't be household names on the Mount Rushmore of world-changers. The law of averages says that's true, and our lived history says that's true. Most of us won't change the world.

While you may or may not change the world, you 100% have the power to change someone's world. And I have a little secret for you. Changing someone's world might as well be the same as changing the world.....because when you inflict impact on someone's world, it moves the needle in their life more than any of these quote-unquote world-changers ever could.

My Grandma didn't change the world, but man, she sure did change a lot of someone's worlds. She inflicted significant impact on this world, but it was discreet. It was face to face, person by person by person. I grew up four hours away from her, and didn't see her all that often. Yet, when I reflect on my childhood, she was an instrumental force in it. She was the center of so many memories, traditions, and lessons. That's her, though. She always seemed to work quietly behind the scenes, yet constantly seemed in control and a driving influence in the small world around her.

She's one of the greatest women I’ve ever known. She will never be on a list of world-changers, but I can tell you she's made more impact on my life than any famous world-changing name I could think of. She was everything. I’m sure others would agree.

Impact, impact, impact. That's our call to action. No, we won't all be called to change the world. However, we ARE called to change someone's world. Understand that opportunity. Understand that responsibility. Understand what's at stake. Understand the implications of that power. I think my Grandma did.

I'm looking forward to paying tribute to my Grandma in a few days. Until then, I'm sure I'll be living in flashback-ville, thinking about all the awesome impact she's made on my life. Love you, Grandma! Glad you've been reunited with Grandpa after five long years. Thanks for all you've done for me and so many others.

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Preserving My Midlife Crisis

In a few hours, I'll (temporarily) say goodbye to the 350Z. Our midwest winter is setting in, and it's time to store it away for the winter. I'm getting its oil changed, then delivering it to client, friend, and blog reader Emma's house where it will be kept safe and sound until spring. When I published a Facebook post asking if anyone was interested in making some storage income for the winter, Emma was the first person to text me. I quickly thanked her and confirmed I was in, to which she responded, "Really excited to help you preserve your midlife crisis." Wow, Emma.

It's been eight months since I finally checked the box on my 17-year dream of owning a 2006 Nissan 350Z stick-shift convertible. As I put it away for the winter, I thought today would be a good day to reflect on my decision.

In short, wow, what a rich and meaningful decision to purchase that car. It was easily the best $9,000 I've ever spent on something. It has been everything I hoped it would be, and more:

• I spent many hours cruising around town with my kids this summer, blaring Twenty One Pilots and making multiple pitstops at various ice cream establishments.

• Driving it as my daily commuter added a new richness and enjoyment to the repetitiveness of day-to-day life.

• I made road trips to Omaha, Minneapolis, KC, and Colorado, each providing a unique open-road, top-down experience.

• Several friends drove the car, and it was fun seeing the smiles on their faces.

Finny and I out for an afternoon cruise.

A particular conversation occurred on multiple occassions, each resembling this one:

Friend: "Wow, that car is amazing. I wish I could afford something like that."

Me: "Well, it cost about one-sixth of what you paid for that truck out there."

Friend: .........

What I want people to know about wants, meaning, and value-based decision-making is that we don't have to break the bank to journey into fun endeavors. $9,000 isn't nothing, but it's also not what most people default to when considering a fun purchase like this. We don't have to completely sabotage our finances to enjoy life. We can be measured, intentional, humble, and dutiful in our approach. This purchase didn't materially hinder our financial lives, but it sure added a lot of value to our family.

I'm not suggesting everyone should replicate my decision. Rather, I'm trying to make the argument that we should find things that add value to our lives, and we don't need to implode our financial lives to do so.

I also believe there's a time and place for everything. I waited 17 years to purchase this car. In hindsight, it cost me far less by waiting those 17 years, while being more valuable to me 17 years later than had I purchased it any time sooner.

I have nothing but gratitude and fondness for this decision. Yes, it's just a possession. Yes, it will be in a landfill before I know it. No, it can't make me happy. But dang, I'm really glad we decided to go for it.

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The Freedom to Eat the Consequences

A while back, blog reader Ryan tipped me off to a few of the other daily publications he follows. One of them is called Daily Discipline by Brian Kight. It sounded intriguing as Ryan explained it, so I started following Brian's content. It's short, relevant, and thought-provoking. Yesterday's post was particularly compelling. In short, Brian proposes freedom comes in two forms: 1) the freedom to make choices, and 2) the freedom to bear the consequences of said choices.

It's a simple, profound, and brilliant idea, and aligns well with everything we talk about over here at The Daily Meaning. We are each the author of our own story, and we must take that opportunity and responsibility seriously. Far too often, we make poor financial and career choices with the freedom bestowed upon us. As Brian points out, with freedom to make choices comes a freedom to eat the consequences:

• According to MarketWatch Guides, approximately 66% of Americans live paycheck-to-paycheck. Income influences this, but not as much as you'd think. 48% of people earning $100,000-$200,000 live paycheck-to-paycheck, and 36% earning $200,000+ live paycheck-to-paycheck.

• According to Gallup, 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs. I talk about this statistic regularly, and it always pains me to do so.

We're blessed with the freedom to make any choice we want; more often than not, we use that freedom to make choices that impair our well-being and our future.

As we recognize our freedoms today, we should equally acknowledge the importance of using them to bring meaning, fulfillment, and impact into our lives. It's a huge responsibility, but also a massive opportunity.

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Turn Normal On Its Head

A while back, I saw some social media posts about how Twenty One Pilots did something wild during one of their shows. While performing one of their new songs (which they play every night), lead singer Tyler Joseph, accompanied by a small entourage of camera operators and grips, meandered through the pit while performing the song. If you're not familiar, the pit is the group of people standing immediately in front of the stage. They are often the rowdiest fans, and as a standing-only section, they can get congested and unruly. People jockeying for position, people trying to navigate to their desired location, people looking for the best camera angle or access to the performer.

For international superstars, the mere idea of entering the pit is a scary endeavor. Yet, for years, Twenty One Pilots has engaged directly with their pit fans. At least once per show, Josh Dun, the drummer, sits atop the pit fans while they hold a platform, a drum kit, and Josh above their heads (that takes trust!).

Also, in the final song of this tour's show, both Tyler and Josh have platforms wheeled into the middle of the pit, where they play their iconic song Trees, surrounded by their most loyal fans. It's a sight to behold.

To my delight, I recently turned on YouTube and was greeted with a new music video. They released a video for the song Routines In The Night, featuring all the new pit footage they recently recorded. It's a fun video, and I highly recommend you check it out!

No, this post isn't just for me to rant about Twenty One Pilots. It brings one specific idea to mind. I absolutely love how they turn normal on its head. Normal is to separate themselves from the pit. Normal is to just perform the regular way. Normal is to simply do what everyone else is doing. Instead, they are turning normal on its head and carving out new ways to approach their craft.

When we started the podcast, dozens of people told me, "You can't do a podcast without interviews. Nobody wants to listen to one person talk." That's exactly what we did, and it's been beautiful.

When I started this blog, countless people told me, "You can't send people e-mails every day. Nobody will read that! Just send them one thing per week and call it good." I ignored them, and you all received me with arms wide open. 70% of you read the blog every single day, and I never take that for granted.

When I left my prior career and our family took a 90% pay cut, many people told me I was making the biggest mistake of my life. Yes, it's been a difficult journey, but one of the most beautiful ones I could ever have imagined.

I so much appreciate when people are willing to turn normal on its head and carve a new path. I hope you receive this as encouragement to do the same in your journey. Don't get stuck by what the world says is the right way to do things. Sometimes, you need to rip up the blueprint and start afresh!

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Don’t Forget Your Real Goals

The kids had their first two basketball games yesterday. We were overmatched and went 0-2 on the day. It would be easy to get discouraged by that outcome, but doing so would mean I forgot the real goal. Sure, I would have loved to win the games.....winning is fun! But winning these random Saturday second-grade games isn't my primary objective. I see how much these boys have improved since June. One little man could barely get the ball up to the hoop just four months ago, and he got a bucket yesterday! Massive strides! Even in the last three weeks, I can tell the kids have a stronger bond with each other and are picking up the flow of the game. I'm not going to let a few surface-level goals cloud my gratitude for the real goals.

This story reminds me of a similar type of situation that plays out daily in my coaching world. I'll share one example. A couple approached me several years ago, desiring to create more freedom for their life. Finances felt tight, and both spouses were tied to jobs they loathed. One had a dream for a big career shift, and the other aspired to one day stay at home with their kids (who weren't yet born).

Their next steps were clear:

• Get on an intentional budget.

• Pay off their $100,000 of non-mortgage debt (primarily student loans, cars, and credit cards).

• Simplify their lifestyle (including downsizing their cars and/or house).

I can excitedly report that this couple got extremely intentional on their budgeting and aggressively paid off their debt. In a shockingly quick span, they had become debt-free, and their monthly financial overhead decreased dramatically!

In the coaching meeting immediately following this big accomplishment, we celebrated their hard-earned achievements. What would they do with their newly created freedom? I was hoping she would begin her transition home (since they now had a baby!), and perhaps he would solidify his career transition plan. Nope, I was wrong. Instead, they decided to refocus their intensity on saving and investing. Now, instead cutting the budget lean to pay off debt, they would maintain a lean budget and direct those resources to aggressively saving. He stayed at his crappy job because it paid well, and it "made more financial sense" for her to forego stay-at-home-mom life (throwing her literal dream away). All for the sake of more money.

I reminded them of what their real goal was: create more freedom. They took all those intentional steps and accomplished those specific goals so that they would experience more freedom. Now that they have said freedom, however, they were essentially throwing it away. Why? All in the name of "continued financial progress." They liked making progress and seeing their numbers improve. It felt intoxicating. Therefore, they were taking the materialistic path in the meaning vs. money fork in the road. They forgot the plot. They lost sight of their real goal.

For as much as I'd like to thumb my nose at this couple and judge them for their decision, that would be hypocritical of me. We've all been there! We're human, after all.

Remember to ask yourself what your real goals are. Yes, financial goals can be fun goals, and rewarding to accomplish them. But remember the real goals! Remember why you really set those goals. Don't forget the plot. Don't lose sight of what matters most.

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Story Behind the Story

I had the most wonderful yet stressful day yesterday. Ups and downs, twists and turns, wins and losses. However, I'm going to hone in on one particular 90-minute block of my day. I had the opportunity to share lunch with a blog reader. It was my first time meeting him, as he passed through my city for work. That was easily the best part of my day, and a reminder how we need to surround ourselves with people better than us. I took away so much from our time together, and hope it's not the last time we cross paths in person.

Here's the idea that hit me during that conversation. When we look at someone, our first perspective of them is whatever they outwardly present for us to see. Their attire. The way they treat people. Their titles and roles. The way they carry themselves. Their accomplishments. The possessions they purchase/carry. We can learn a lot about someone by being in their presence, engaging in surface-level conversations, or checking out their social media presence. That's the story.

Take my new friend. On the surface, he's uber-successful, extremely talented, hard-working, and accomplished. The kind of person you want to be more like. All of that was true, by the way.....that's the story. What about the story behind the story?

I was honored to hear some truly profound stories and testimonials from this man. Stories that are quick and harsh reminders that nobody's life is as perfect and put together as we often believe. Stories that remind us that while we're pretty screwed up, we aren't the only ones battling behind the scenes. Stories that portray humility, vulnerability, and sincerity..... much-needed traits in our modern-day social media facade lifestyle.

It's so easy for us to look at someone, immediately assume their life is perfect, and quickly jump to jealousy, excuse-making, and self-loathing. That's the easy way out, and all too common in our culture. But if we're willing to learn the story behind the story, we'll usually see that we're not alone in the mess and chaos of life. And if these other people can keep fighting, persevere, and rise above it, why can't we?

It's the story behind the story that I'm after. That's what fuels me. That's what I desire to learn about people. That's what makes us human.

One more thing. I'm beyond humbled to meet people who are shockingly transparent and vulnerable with others, especially strangers. My new friend has no idea how much of an impact he made on me yesterday (well, unless he reads this). And if he made that impact on me, a total stranger, in just a 90-minute span of life, what in the heck is he doing for others!?!? That's impact. That's meaning. That's calling.

Seek the story behind the story, and if you're daring enough, share the story behind the story.

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None of Us Really Know What We're Doing

I had a fantastic meeting with two women yesterday who are interested in starting a business. They are each accomplished in their own right and carry themselves with a strong sense of calling and purpose. The passion they have for their work and prospective business is palpable.

As we dove into some of the particulars of starting and running a business, I could tell one of the women was a bit self-conscious about her business acumen. She's absolutely brilliant and successful at her craft, but the business side of things is new-ish to her. Sensing how she felt about this, I added the following regarding business owners: "Don't worry. None of us really know what we're doing. We're just in different stages of figuring it out."

I hadn't actually thought about that until it escaped my mouth, but it's so true! Business owners know nothing....until they know something. And the only way they know something is by doing something they didn't know how to do. It's the ultimate in discomfort. Even Elon Musk, one of the greatest business people of our time, has done everything in his career for the first time at one point or another.

I think most business owners would share the same sentiment if willing to be honest and humble. None of this is easy, but it gets easier as we gain experience. Discomfort turns into experience, which unlocks new discomforts. It's a beautiful, terrible cycle. It's not for everyone, but I love it so much.

I think this woman needed to hear that yesterday, and I suspect some of you do as well. Don't be so hard on yourself. You don't know what you don't know, and there's only one way to change that.

I couldn't be more excited about the ideas these two women shared with me. The potential impact is great, and the passion is real. I have no idea where they will take this, but wherever it goes, I'll absolutely be cheering them on every step of the way!

Please don't be afraid to meet the world with what you currently have to offer. You're better today than you were yesterday, and tomorrow, you'll be better than you were today. "Don't worry. None of us really know what we're doing. We're just in different stages of figuring it out."

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Respecting Younger You

I have a seared-in memory of a youth group conversation that happened many years ago. One of the girls excitedly told the group that she had just received her new iPhone earlier that day. Mid-sentence, one of her friends interrupted, "Wait, didn't you just get a new phone a few months ago?"

"Yeah, I did, but that one broke"

Another kid pops in, "This is like your third phone this school year."

"Well, fourth. They keep breaking, so I need to replace them."

Another guy jumps into the discussion. "My dad told me that if I ever break my phone, I'm responsible for buying a new one."

The original girl was shocked. "That's terrible! You'll never be able to pay for a phone on your own. That's not fair!"

I looked at the guy and asked, "How many times have you ever broken your phone?"

"Never! I can't afford to. I'm very careful." The answer I was expecting!

There's a lot to be learned from this story. It's a story of entitlement, ownership, personal responsibility, and cause and effect.

_____________________

As I picked Finn and Pax up from their band practice last night, I witnessed Finn quickly turn 180 degrees, nearly causing his electric guitar to collide with the corner of a concrete wall. If he were standing two inches closer, we would have had a disaster on our hands.

As we got in the car, I explained to him that he needed to be more careful. He replied, "Well, if something happens to my guitar, we can just buy me a new one."

"If you break your guitar, you're responsible for buying a new one, Finn."

"What!?!? That's not fair. I don't have that much money."

"Well, you better be careful. I'll show you a better way to hold it when you're not playing it, but the responsibility to take care of it is yours."

_____________________

Cause and effect is a wonderful teacher; it's also a humbling one. When handling our finances and the possessions purchased with said finances, it's imperative that we steward it well. We shouldn't covet our money or things, but we ought to respect it. Kids struggle with this, but so do many adults. We're quick to blow money, break things, spend money on things we don't care bout, lose things, continue unused subscriptions, incur needless banking fees, rack up interest, and countless other mindless anti-stewardship actions.

Again, this isn't about penny-pinching, idolizing, or hoarding. It's about honoring the fruits of our labor and making the best use of our resources. Remember, every dollar you spend on something you don't care about is one dollar you can't spend on something you do. Therefore, be thoughtful, be intentional, and ensure you're paying proper respect for the work younger you put in to earn those resources.

Oh yeah, and have a great day!

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