The Claws Tighten
I introduced yesterday's post by vaguely teasing an experience in KC, which triggered my introspection about status. Instead of sharing about what actually happened, I invited you to take a look in the mirror and conduct your own introspection about where status might have its claws in you. Thank you very much for the feedback. Your answers proved one major point I wanted to make. We all have our own. Here are yours:
Income
Job Title
Golf handicap
How grandkids are doing
How many grandkids you have
The boards you sit on
The neighborhood or town you live in
Clothes
What age you get to retire
Country club membership
The make and model of the car you drive
The restaurants you frequent
The vacations you take
How much time you get off from work
What careers your kids have
What colleges your kids go to
The notoriety of your business
The house you live in
The activities and teams your kids participate in
The success of your favorite sports team
The watches you wear
The beauty treatments you regularly get
How noble your chosen career is
That's quite the list! Indeed, each of these is a form of status that has the potential to get its claws in us.
Now, my story. While driving with my family in KC, we weren't far from my old house. It's the first house I owned, which I lived in from age 26-28 (until my company shut down and I experienced an involuntary relocation to Iowa). I thought it would be fun to take the kids to see the house where their dad lived when he was a young adult.
As we approached the house, I was flooded with nostalgia. Lots of memories danced through my head. That's also the moment I realized how much houses used to be my status symbol. When I purchased that house, it was bigger, newer, and nicer than I probably should have bought. It was pretty sweet. It was a great house, and still is (from the looks of it). I cared an awful lot about what that house said about me. It was my status. The claws of status tightened and caused me to make questionable choices in the pursuit of that status....and would for years to come.
Here's the irony. 15 years later, more accomplished and financially sound, I'm living in a house that’s inferior to the one I bought when I was 26. I've overcome the claws of status!
Or have I? The truth is, I don't think I have. In the past few years, I've realized that I still unhealthily find status in my house. While I'm cool living nearly anywhere, I recognize that I don't enjoy hosting people in my current house. Why? Status, most likely. Or perhaps more daily, the lack of status of my house. I find worth and status in my residence, which is a toxic trait. I'm grateful I can make practical and wise decisions around housing now, and I’m so glad we live where we live, but it bugs me that the claws of status are still tight. I'm disappointed in myself, but now I know what room in my mind must be cleaned next.
As G.I. Joe taught me as a kid, "And knowing is half the battle."