Don't Let You Bring You Down
Ugh, it happened again. Who am I kidding? It ALWAYS happens!
Yesterday, I had the honor of guesting on a podcast. It was a live recording with a few dozen people watching, and will be released on a broader scale in about six weeks. I look forward to sharing it with you when it gets officially published.
I thought it went great.....until about five hours later. Then, it happened again....because it always happens. The self-talk started to creep in. Questions start dancing through my head:
Did I talk too much?
Did I make sense?
Did I adequately answer their questions?
Did I drone on?
Did I bore them?
Did I let them down?
Did I miss the social cues?
Did I disrespectfully monopolize the time?
Did I sound like an idiot?
Crap, this always happens!
I used to seek ways to stop the self-talk from happening. How do I silence it? How do I shut it up? How do I kill it? Then, it dawned on me. I'm not sure I'll ever stop it, but perhaps that shouldn't be the goal. Instead, the mission shifted. Instead of trying to end the self-talk, I realized I needed to alter what I do with it.
The way I see it, we have two choices when (not if) the self-talk hits:
We can let it crush us. We lose confidence, cower, and step down from our opportunity to make a difference. We begin to intentionally avoid situations where this type of self-talk could creep in. For me, that would mean no more speaking, no more podcasting, no more writing, no more guesting. There's definitely a scenario where I could mostly eliminate most of my self-talk. However, to make that happen, I have to voluntarily give up my opportunity and responsibility to make an impact.
We can call it what it is - a liar - and simply move forward. It's like that one guy on the basketball court who is always running his mouth. He's continually talking trash, trying to get under your skin. Instead of yapping back or letting it mess us up, we just play our game. We keep going, knowing the mission is too great to let some annoying trash talker in our head get the best of us.
Today's piece isn't advice or shared wisdom. Rather, it's a reflection of what I deal with, assuming I'm far from alone. If that's true, then you can know you aren't alone. We can be not alone together. I'm choosing option #2 above, and hope you do, too. It's not easy, but it's worth it.