Laugh, Then Move On

I have a really bad habit. Every time I speak, record a podcast, create a YouTube video, or have a meaningful meeting with someone, I replay it back in my head in the hours and days that follow. Not only that, but I dissect and criticize everything I did or said. “Travis, you should have said ____.” Or “Travis, you shouldn’t have done _____.” All the way to, “ Travis, you screwed up that part where you could have made an impact!” The self-talk can become a death spiral! I hope I’m the only one who experiences this, but I’m afraid many others like me are out there.

Along the journey, however, something happened. I got to the point where I was recording so much content, speaking to so many audiences, and having so many meetings, that I couldn’t afford to dwell. I realized every moment I spent dwelling on what happened robbed me of the opportunity to make a difference in the next one. I also came to the realization none of this defines me. It’s a moment in time. It’s not my identity.

I’m glad I’ve progressed in this area, as I recently lived out my public speaking nightmare. I was emceeing Sunday services at my local church, as I do once every 6 weeks or so. I’m notoriously bad at recognizing when songs are coming to a close, so I always have the worship leader give me a little visual signal when it’s my cue to approach the stage. If done well, I’m in the right position a few seconds before they wrap up.

During the first service, my friend Kevin forgot to give me the signal. So there I was, realizing I need to be up there about 2 seconds ago, sprinting up the stage and into position. Not ideal, but it wasn’t a huge loss. Fast forward an hour. As I’m waiting for that same moment during the second service, I don’t trust Kevin to give me the signal (shame on me!). Instead, I thought to myself, “I got this! I’ll judge it well.”

You can probably guess where this is heading. At the perfect moment, I casually and confidently walked onto the stage and into position. Except there was a problem: they were still singing……and they kept singing. Uh oh, I was early! I was stuck! I couldn’t leave. I couldn’t unring this bell. I was a hostage to my own poor judgment. All I could do was stand there, with the bright lights shining, acting as though I was supposed to be there. I’m not sure how long it lasted. It felt like four hours, but it was probably 45 seconds……45 very lonely seconds.

Several of my friends gave me a hard time afterward, and we shared a laugh at my expense. But then I moved on. I made a mistake, was able to laugh about it, then moved on with life. It doesn’t define me and it won’t bring me down. I’m sure I’ll screw up again soon, but when I do, I hope I’m able to simply laugh and move on.

If I can learn this, so can you! Laugh, then move on.