When Pigs Fly

Did you know that pigs can fly? I have proof! My biggest fear in life is public speaking. It terrifies me. I once took public speaking 101 during summer college because I preferred to have 12 strangers watch me vomit rather than 100 of my university peers (true story!).

The vomiting would remain a theme for the next decade. Every time I spoke, which was as rare as I could engineer, I would vomit (in private, luckily). 10 years ago, the inevitable reality set in that I would need to speak in my career. You know, when the stakes were higher and where it's poor form to vomit on current and/or prospective clients. Therefore, I took the only step a desperate man would take: I started seeking out speaking opportunities to beat my fear into submission.

Those first few (or few dozen) talks were brutal. At first, the vomit was still there. But eventually, I merely felt like I was going to vomit. Big win! At some point along the journey, I even moderately enjoyed it. Fast forward to today, and it's one of my favorite things in the world. To me, there's nothing like the nervous energy in the minutes leading up to a talk, the euphoria of delivering a message I believe in, and the deep satisfaction I feel afterward, knowing I might have made an impact and once again conquered my biggest fear.

As I venture into this world of professional public speaking, I can't help but think about how my biggest fear has turned into a passion and a career. See, pigs can fly! Here's a little demo reel our media team recently put together. You’re the first people to see it outside of our little team!

Here's my takeaway today. I'm not special....yet, pigs fly. If that's true, and I hope you know it is considering I used the word "vomit" five times above, some pigs in your life need to spread their wings and fly. I have a feeling you already know what they are. You might have turned your back on them for years, or even decades, but the wait is over. Let those pigs fly!

Coming Full Circle in Omaha

I had an awesome time speaking at the Omaha YP Summit, the country’s largest young professionals conference. Nearly 1,600 people gathered from Omaha (and beyond) to connect, grow, learn, and have fun. I felt really good about my talk and was tremendously encouraged by the feedback.

The day opened with a talk by Ben Nemtin. Ben is widely considered one of the best public speakers in the world. I’ve been familiar with Ben since way back in the early days of my career, and some of you may as well. Ben and his buddies became a news sensation when they set off across America in an RV, checking items off their bucket list. Their agreement with each other was every time they crossed something off, they needed to help a stranger cross something off their list. Needless to say, this became a huge story. They went on to have their own show on MTV called The Buried Life.

I was young in my career when all this was happening. The next part is where I feel a bit sheepish. I have vivid memories of looking down on them, thinking what they were doing was silly. In my head was some version of, “grow up, get a job, and make some money.” After all, that’s what culture says to do……and that’s exactly what I was doing.

Fast forward nearly 20 years, and I’m sitting just off stage, watching Ben share his story with this huge audience. I absolutely loved Ben’s talk. He was funny, moving, and inspirational. Here’s the full-circle moment. The guy who looked down on Ben all those years ago (me!) was the same guy who was about to deliver a somewhat parallel talk in just a few hours. My talk had so many overlaps that I weaved pieces of Ben’s story into it. I was even able to work in a ridiculously stupid joke about me speaking after Ben. “I’m not sure in what world Taylor Swift would open for a high school garage band, but here we are.” That one got some good laughs, but they may have been pity laughs. Nevertheless, I loved being able to expand on some of Ben’s ideas in my talk.

As I reflect on the full-circle moment, I can’t help but think how badly I missed the mark earlier in my career. Ben knew something I didn’t. I’m not wishing away my prior career or saying having a normal job/career is bad. Far from it. I’m referring to the attitude I had toward the mere idea of living for meaning. That regret I feel is the exact reason I want to share this Meaning Over Money message with the world. I want people to hear a different perspective, know it’s an option, and decide for themselves. Wherever you are on your journey, it’s never too early or too late to pursue the meaning.

**Speaking of bucket lists, I’m just going to name one of mine. I deeply desire to become a world-class professional speaker. I’m certainly not there, but I’m better than I used to be. With more than 100 attempts under my belt, I’d certainly hope so! Today was a big step for me. I’ve never felt more prepared or more comfortable on a stage. I went to bed last night satisfied, grateful, and content. Thanks, Omaha, for a great day!

Facing Fears Head-On

I didn’t really sleep last night. I couldn’t get my brain to shut off after delivering my talk at the DSM Small Business Success Summit. The event was good, I think my talk went well (haven’t watched the film yet), and I received a lot of positive and powerful feedback afterward. What made the day so odd is what happened next. I drove home, changed into casual clothing, and immediately started preparing for my next talk (which is tomorrow). Only this time, the audience will likely be 10x the size.

Needless to say, it’s been a wild week for someone whose biggest fear is public speaking. Well, second biggest fear. My biggest fear is falling into a pit of snakes…..but let’s just hope that never happens. Many years ago, I decided I needed to face this fear of speaking head-on. It’s been a choppy process. When people ask if I like speaking, the answer is “I hate doing it, but love having done it.” I say that somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but there’s also some truth to it. The anxiety of the build-up is excruciating, but the delivery and feeling of accomplishment I get when I’m done is tremendous. It has become one of my favorite things in life.

If I’m being honest with you, which is what you signed up for by subscribing to this blog, imposter syndrome hit me hard yesterday. I’m surrounded by all these gifted speakers and here I am, some dude whose biggest fear is public speaking, feeling like I’m the only one who didn’t belong. That’s not true, of course, but why let common sense and rational thinking get in the way of a frothy panic?

Facing our fears isn’t a singular moment in time. It’s not like in the movies. It’s a long process that takes intentionality, persistence, and patience. I get a little better every time I step onto the stage. I hope to one day be a world-class speaker. But first, I have to be a bad speaker, then an ok speaker, then a good speaker, and so on. I’m trying to earn my way up, one repetition at a time.

Facing your fears sucks, but it’s also amazing.

What is Success?

Later today, I’ll be speaking at the DSM Small Business Success Summit. My talk is called What is Success?: Aligning Your Mission with Your Meaning. In it, I’m going to challenge people to throw out the traditional and cultural measuring sticks of success (sales, margins, profits, growth, etc.), and replace them with what really matters. Not what matters to me but rather what matters to them. What really matters.

This idea stems from two different places. The first is something I write and podcast about often. The behavioral science of money and happiness. If money can’t make us happy (after our needs are met), why are we using money to define success? I think it’s partly because most people sincerely (and mistakenly) believe “more’ is the answer, and partly because financial metrics are easy to track and easy to compare. It makes for a very useful and universal measuring stick.

Second, when I’m meeting with business owners and business leaders, I like to dive deep into what really matters to them. Once we get past the first few layers, we quickly discover it’s not really about money at all. Money may play a role, but what they are seeking is far deeper than money. So instead of chasing the money as a way to get to those things, why not just pursue those other things directly? It’s a powerful concept that has the power to change us and the way we live.

What about you? What do you really want? If you were to redefine what success means to you, what would it look like?

Confronting Fear Head-On

I’m scheduled to deliver two talks this week. One is at a high school youth group and the other is a keynote address at a high school leadership conference. I couldn’t be more excited about these opportunities. They also kick off a series of speaking engagements I have lined up for the spring.

Confession: public speaking is my biggest fear. Ironic, I know. Several years ago, I had a strong desire to combat my fear of speaking. I knew I would be doing some level of public speaking in my career, and didn’t want to bomb, so I looked for opportunities to speak to other audiences as practice. I was a mess the first time I spoke on stage. Vomit was involved…..and sweating….and shaky hands……and stuttering. Did I mention it was a mess? I hope no footage exists of that first one.

Then I did it again, then again, then again. Each time, I performed a little better and I was a bit less terrified. Before I knew it, it went from my biggest fear to something I get excited about. For me, there’s nothing quite like the rush of knowing I have 30 minutes of people’s attention to possibly make an impact. Equal parts responsibility and opportunity. I still get nervous, and I’d definitely still call public speaking my greatest fear (well maybe #2 after snakes).

I don’t do it as much as I should, but I’m a big believer in confronting fear head-on. I have a list of things I’m scared to do, and hopefully I’ll get the courage to attack each one soon. I’ll end by sharing one. I don’t do well being in the wilderness, especially if it involves being wet and cold. I’ve addressed this fear somewhat through a men’s ministry trip I take each fall to the Boundary Waters. I used to be terrified of that trip. But now, I actually enjoy it (sort of). That means it’s time to step it up. Sometime soon, I’m going to do a solo trip into the wilderness. Just me, a canoe, whatever is in my pack, and three days of isolation. Just typing that scares me to death. That’s a good sign I should probably get to planning.

What about you? What fears do you want to confront?

The Chance to Make a Difference

I have several public speaking opportunities coming up in the next several weeks. I get equally nervous as I get excited, each and every time. The nerves and the excitement come from the very same place: knowing I have a chance to make a difference. Excited because I have a chance to make a difference, and nervous because I have a chance to make a difference. What an opportunity and what a responsibility.

There’s a chance I’ll fall flat on my face…..and that chance is far greater than 1%. I try not to think about that. I try to focus my energy on the chance I have to make a difference. That goes for these speaking engagements, but it also applies to the podcast, this blog, every client meeting, and even those moments I spend having coffee with a friend, stranger, or youth group kid.

When we wake up in the morning, there are a series of opportunities in front of us that day to make a difference. We won’t always succeed, but that’s not the point. The bigger question is, will I try? Will you try? Will we embrace that opportunity and make the most of it? Man, I hope I do. Please pray for me. I need it.

Let me know what you have coming up. I’ll pray for you, too!

Laugh, Then Move On

I have a really bad habit. Every time I speak, record a podcast, create a YouTube video, or have a meaningful meeting with someone, I replay it back in my head in the hours and days that follow. Not only that, but I dissect and criticize everything I did or said. “Travis, you should have said ____.” Or “Travis, you shouldn’t have done _____.” All the way to, “ Travis, you screwed up that part where you could have made an impact!” The self-talk can become a death spiral! I hope I’m the only one who experiences this, but I’m afraid many others like me are out there.

Along the journey, however, something happened. I got to the point where I was recording so much content, speaking to so many audiences, and having so many meetings, that I couldn’t afford to dwell. I realized every moment I spent dwelling on what happened robbed me of the opportunity to make a difference in the next one. I also came to the realization none of this defines me. It’s a moment in time. It’s not my identity.

I’m glad I’ve progressed in this area, as I recently lived out my public speaking nightmare. I was emceeing Sunday services at my local church, as I do once every 6 weeks or so. I’m notoriously bad at recognizing when songs are coming to a close, so I always have the worship leader give me a little visual signal when it’s my cue to approach the stage. If done well, I’m in the right position a few seconds before they wrap up.

During the first service, my friend Kevin forgot to give me the signal. So there I was, realizing I need to be up there about 2 seconds ago, sprinting up the stage and into position. Not ideal, but it wasn’t a huge loss. Fast forward an hour. As I’m waiting for that same moment during the second service, I don’t trust Kevin to give me the signal (shame on me!). Instead, I thought to myself, “I got this! I’ll judge it well.”

You can probably guess where this is heading. At the perfect moment, I casually and confidently walked onto the stage and into position. Except there was a problem: they were still singing……and they kept singing. Uh oh, I was early! I was stuck! I couldn’t leave. I couldn’t unring this bell. I was a hostage to my own poor judgment. All I could do was stand there, with the bright lights shining, acting as though I was supposed to be there. I’m not sure how long it lasted. It felt like four hours, but it was probably 45 seconds……45 very lonely seconds.

Several of my friends gave me a hard time afterward, and we shared a laugh at my expense. But then I moved on. I made a mistake, was able to laugh about it, then moved on with life. It doesn’t define me and it won’t bring me down. I’m sure I’ll screw up again soon, but when I do, I hope I’m able to simply laugh and move on.

If I can learn this, so can you! Laugh, then move on.