Facing Fears Head-On

I didn’t really sleep last night. I couldn’t get my brain to shut off after delivering my talk at the DSM Small Business Success Summit. The event was good, I think my talk went well (haven’t watched the film yet), and I received a lot of positive and powerful feedback afterward. What made the day so odd is what happened next. I drove home, changed into casual clothing, and immediately started preparing for my next talk (which is tomorrow). Only this time, the audience will likely be 10x the size.

Needless to say, it’s been a wild week for someone whose biggest fear is public speaking. Well, second biggest fear. My biggest fear is falling into a pit of snakes…..but let’s just hope that never happens. Many years ago, I decided I needed to face this fear of speaking head-on. It’s been a choppy process. When people ask if I like speaking, the answer is “I hate doing it, but love having done it.” I say that somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but there’s also some truth to it. The anxiety of the build-up is excruciating, but the delivery and feeling of accomplishment I get when I’m done is tremendous. It has become one of my favorite things in life.

If I’m being honest with you, which is what you signed up for by subscribing to this blog, imposter syndrome hit me hard yesterday. I’m surrounded by all these gifted speakers and here I am, some dude whose biggest fear is public speaking, feeling like I’m the only one who didn’t belong. That’s not true, of course, but why let common sense and rational thinking get in the way of a frothy panic?

Facing our fears isn’t a singular moment in time. It’s not like in the movies. It’s a long process that takes intentionality, persistence, and patience. I get a little better every time I step onto the stage. I hope to one day be a world-class speaker. But first, I have to be a bad speaker, then an ok speaker, then a good speaker, and so on. I’m trying to earn my way up, one repetition at a time.

Facing your fears sucks, but it’s also amazing.