It's Like Riding a Bike

"It's like riding a bike." I use that phrase all the time. It's one of the most tried and true principles of human behavior. I've been saying this phrase for years, but it took on a new life a few years ago when my boys were learning to ride a bike. There was lots of anger, tears, blood, and frustration. Then, like the flip of a switch, they knew how to ride a bike.....and the rest is history.

Our church has a tradition of rallying all the volunteers for a team huddle 30 minutes before the first service. There, someone shares a few announcements and a short message/story, then closes in prayer. It's a great way to start the day. I had the privilege of doing yesterday's message. To my surprise, several people approached me afterward to compliment me on it (including our head pastor, whom I deeply admire). I've given this mini-message lots of times, but don't usually get that much feedback.

Here's the kicker: I was asked to do the message about 90 seconds before the huddle started. The person who was supposed to do it couldn't, so the leader asked me to step in. I was happy to do it and exhilarated with the idea of creating a message in under two minutes. It was one of the highlights of my day.

That's not naturally who I am, though. 10 years ago, the mere idea of talking in front of 50 people, in any capacity, would have made me vomit. Five years ago, I could have done it, though I would have done so with a fair amount of anxiety and would have needed a few days to prepare myself. Two years ago, I could have done it with an hour's notice. Today, I can figure it out in less than 90 seconds and go into it excitedly. It's like riding a bike. Truly. Repetition matters. Repetition of speaking in front of an audience and repetition of creating. When I write seven blogs and record two podcasts every week, finding ideas and bringing them to life becomes second nature. At first, it was tough, but now it's just what I do. It's like brushing my teeth in the morning. Or getting dressed. Or maybe, just maybe, it's like riding a bike.

I believe in this principle so much, and it applies to many areas of our life. I see it with my clients all the time. I ask them to do things well outside their comfort zone and expertise. At first, it's difficult. Then, after more repetition, something clicks, and it becomes second nature. It's like riding a bike! Whether it's budgeting, investing, communicating with your spouse, building a new skill, creating that new business, or putting your ideas into the world, you're just a handful of repetitions away from an entirely new reality. A reality where you confidently step into the areas that are important to you. It's like riding a bike.

A Snail's Progress Is Deceiving

Recently, an Australian publication asked if I would repurpose and refresh an article I wrote about 18 months ago. They thought the content was interesting, engaging, and relevant to their audience. I was happy to oblige. After all, this was one of my favorite pieces I've written in the last few years. My intent was to simply dust it off, update some of the data, and provide some context more relevant for an Australian reader. Then, something happened.

Remember how this was one of my favorite pieces I had written? Upon a revisit, I thought it was garbage. The sentence structure was off in several places, my arguments were not as crisp as I expected, and the jokes felt a little flat. Wow! It was as if I was reading someone else's writing. I was, though. My younger self. Now one might not think a lot can change in 18 months, and you might be right. However, there's one fact to add to this story. Since I've published 300-500 words every day since November (plus writing for other publications), I've probably published more than 125,000 words since I wrote that piece. That's the equivalent of two entire books. Yikes!

That's the funny thing about a snail. It's hard to see its progress when you're staring at it. It looks painfully and embarrassingly slow. But if you turn your attention away from it, then come back later, it's startling how far its come. That same concept applies to us humans, and it's relevant to so many different areas of life.

Earlier this summer, my kids could barely swim…..and I certainly wouldn't trust them in the deep end. It was difficult for them to grab a diving ring from the four-foot depth. Yesterday morning, Finn treaded water for four minutes, and Pax swam the length of the pool in just a few breaths. They would have sunk like stones just a few months ago, but here we are! The snail is chugging along!

Whatever your craft, skill, art, hobby, book, music, or other endeavor is, just put the work in. It may feel like you're moving as slow as a snail, but that's a win! If you just keep going, one day you'll look back and be as shocked as we are at the snail. If I can go from garbage (my own harsh self-talk) to good in just one year, what does the next year look like? Or 5 years? Or 10 years? It's weird to think about.

What about you? What's something you need to just do, do, and do again? In what area do you need to put your head down and put the work in? Whatever your answer, I hope you do it! You deserve it, and so do all the people who will benefit from your excellent work!

When Pigs Fly

Did you know that pigs can fly? I have proof! My biggest fear in life is public speaking. It terrifies me. I once took public speaking 101 during summer college because I preferred to have 12 strangers watch me vomit rather than 100 of my university peers (true story!).

The vomiting would remain a theme for the next decade. Every time I spoke, which was as rare as I could engineer, I would vomit (in private, luckily). 10 years ago, the inevitable reality set in that I would need to speak in my career. You know, when the stakes were higher and where it's poor form to vomit on current and/or prospective clients. Therefore, I took the only step a desperate man would take: I started seeking out speaking opportunities to beat my fear into submission.

Those first few (or few dozen) talks were brutal. At first, the vomit was still there. But eventually, I merely felt like I was going to vomit. Big win! At some point along the journey, I even moderately enjoyed it. Fast forward to today, and it's one of my favorite things in the world. To me, there's nothing like the nervous energy in the minutes leading up to a talk, the euphoria of delivering a message I believe in, and the deep satisfaction I feel afterward, knowing I might have made an impact and once again conquered my biggest fear.

As I venture into this world of professional public speaking, I can't help but think about how my biggest fear has turned into a passion and a career. See, pigs can fly! Here's a little demo reel our media team recently put together. You’re the first people to see it outside of our little team!

Here's my takeaway today. I'm not special....yet, pigs fly. If that's true, and I hope you know it is considering I used the word "vomit" five times above, some pigs in your life need to spread their wings and fly. I have a feeling you already know what they are. You might have turned your back on them for years, or even decades, but the wait is over. Let those pigs fly!

First, We Fail

Yesterday, before I was about to mow the yard, Finn asked if he could help me. He's been obsessed with "mowin' men" since he could talk, so operating a push mower is right up there with ice cream and swimming pools for that kid. At first, I did the turns and let him single-handedly run with the straightaways. Then, about halfway through, he asked if he could do the turns by himself. I assisted him on the first few, but after a while, he got into a rhythm and did them himself.

The yard looks like absolute garbage. The lines are terrible, we missed spots, and he damaged a plant while trying to make one of his turns. But it was a huge win and I'm proud of him. In that moment, I had two options. First, I could have said no to him and insisted I run the show (in an effort to have a better finished product). Second, I could let him learn. I'm always a believer in the second option. While I'd prefer a yard that doesn't look like trash, today's lesson was so valuable.

Regardless of who we are or what we're trying to learn, first, we fail. Failure is the prerequisite to doing it poorly. Doing it poorly is the prerequisite to doing it average. Doing it average is the prerequisite to doing it good. Doing it good is the prerequisite to doing it great. But first, we fail.

The key word is "first." If we don't allow for a first, for the possibility of failure, how do we expect to become great? It reminds me of something I refer to as the experience paradox. Perhaps there's a technical name for it, but this is what I call it in my head. A college student applies for an entry-level job. They don't get hired because they don't have any experience. But they can't get experience until they get an entry-level job. But they can't get the entry-level job because they don't have the experience. See the paradox?

I'm really proud of Finn. The last time we mowed, he simply couldn't do it. Total fail! Today, he did a poor job. Good for him! His innocence and naivety allow him the freedom to simply be bad at something.....then become less bad. When this happens, it enables him to get better through repetition and failure.

This is a beautiful trait in young kids. It's also a beautiful trait in grown adults, though it's far less common. It's not comfortable to do things we know we'll do poorly. Applying for that job. Starting that business. Creating that content. Launching that product. Asking that person out. Asking for that promotion. When we don't have experience, we may fail. But remember, it's all part of becoming great. Becoming less bad is the onramp to the road of excellence.

I hope you do something poorly today!

Muscle Memory

I absolutely love the NBA playoffs. Growing up west of Chicago in the 90s, there was nothing better than watching the Bulls raise a banner nearly every year. Though I’m no longer a Bulls fan (see The Last Dance if you’re curious why), the NBA has stuck with me for decades. The other night, as I was watching another stellar Lakers/Warriors game, a very peculiar play unfolded before my eyes.

Let me summarize how I saw it. As the Warriors were settling into their half-court offense, Andrew Wiggins penetrated and kicked the ball out to Draymond Green. Draymond catches it and immediately swings the ball to his right. However, instead of the pass being received by a teammate, it landed directly in the hands of the Lakers’ head coach. On the surface, Draymond looked like an absolute fool. But did you see the look on his face? He was utterly confused. It wasn’t the look of someone who made a boneheaded play, but rather someone who knew exactly what they were doing and didn’t understand the outcome.

Upon further review, the rest of the truth came out. Nobody was there to receive the pass because said missing player, Gary Payton II, walked off the court mid-play. In a weird twist of events, Payton seemingly vomited in his mouth, motioned to the bench he needed to come out, then proceeded to quickly walk off the court where he would eventually vomit (presumably in a receptacle). Aside from this odd sequence of events, I was increasingly fascinated by Draymond’s pass. Though the play ultimately resulted in a turnover (#vomitgate), Draymond’s intuition and playmaking were astounding. Without even looking or thinking, he delivered a crisp pass to what was supposed to be a non-vomiting teammate. It’s evidence of how long he’s been playing the sport and honing his craft. It’s pure muscle memory at this point.

I was reminded of this play yesterday when I was meeting with a client. Like Draymond, this couple has developed astounding muscle memory. Doing this financial stuff wasn’t natural for them when we started, but after a year of repetition and commitment, they are significantly locked in. Their life hasn’t been perfect and they’ve encountered their fair share (if not more) of challenges and struggles. Through it, their muscle memory leads them back to the same place: intentionality and teamwork toward their mission and goals. They know what they are doing, why they are doing it, and how to do it. This is why developing healthy financial habits and skills is so important. When we lean into it enough times over a long enough period of time, we create muscle memory that allows us to naturally navigate the journey without having to spend much time and energy on it. It becomes second-nature and just a rhythm of our life.

I don’t know if Draymond and the Warriors will end the season as champions this year, but I can promise you this couple will. Once muscle memory sets in, there’s nothing they can’t accomplish when they set their mind to it. It wasn’t an easy journey getting here, but they earned it!

Facing Fears Head-On

I didn’t really sleep last night. I couldn’t get my brain to shut off after delivering my talk at the DSM Small Business Success Summit. The event was good, I think my talk went well (haven’t watched the film yet), and I received a lot of positive and powerful feedback afterward. What made the day so odd is what happened next. I drove home, changed into casual clothing, and immediately started preparing for my next talk (which is tomorrow). Only this time, the audience will likely be 10x the size.

Needless to say, it’s been a wild week for someone whose biggest fear is public speaking. Well, second biggest fear. My biggest fear is falling into a pit of snakes…..but let’s just hope that never happens. Many years ago, I decided I needed to face this fear of speaking head-on. It’s been a choppy process. When people ask if I like speaking, the answer is “I hate doing it, but love having done it.” I say that somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but there’s also some truth to it. The anxiety of the build-up is excruciating, but the delivery and feeling of accomplishment I get when I’m done is tremendous. It has become one of my favorite things in life.

If I’m being honest with you, which is what you signed up for by subscribing to this blog, imposter syndrome hit me hard yesterday. I’m surrounded by all these gifted speakers and here I am, some dude whose biggest fear is public speaking, feeling like I’m the only one who didn’t belong. That’s not true, of course, but why let common sense and rational thinking get in the way of a frothy panic?

Facing our fears isn’t a singular moment in time. It’s not like in the movies. It’s a long process that takes intentionality, persistence, and patience. I get a little better every time I step onto the stage. I hope to one day be a world-class speaker. But first, I have to be a bad speaker, then an ok speaker, then a good speaker, and so on. I’m trying to earn my way up, one repetition at a time.

Facing your fears sucks, but it’s also amazing.

Riding a Bicycle is Like Riding a Bicycle

I went bike shopping with my kids the other day. Two years ago, we purchased a couple of used bikes off Facebook Marketplace for maybe $50 total. To be honest, these bikes were nearing the end of their life when we got them. They were great first bikes and they most certainly served their purpose. But I promised the boys brand new, hand-chosen bikes for this coming season. They can now ride fully independently, I too love riding bikes, and we now live two blocks from the best bike trail in the state. Needless to say, I’m pumped!

As we were walking through the store, Pax expressed some anxiety about the whole ordeal. “What if I forgot how to ride a bike? What if I can’t do it?” I quickly responded, “it’s like riding a bike.” He stared blankly at me, clearly not understanding my bad joke. You know the expression! Riding a bike is one of those things we quickly pick back up. We can go months or years without riding one, then the moment we hop back on it’s like we never stopped. Call it muscle memory. Call it instinct. Call it magic.

We don’t study to ride a bike, researching the how-tos and techniques for hours on Google and YouTube. We learn to ride a bike by failing to ride a bike. We get on, pedal 20 feet, careen into a ditch, get up, and try it again. Failure after failure, we learn to stay up. Then just like that, we know how to ride. There’s never a moment where we say, “Oh, 5 failures from now I’ll know how to ride it.” We just keep failing until we stop failing. Then we never look back.

Money, work, and life are much the same way. We can research it until the cows come home, but it won’t teach us how to live it. We need to hop on the proverbial bike, scrape our knees, then try again. Each time, we’ll get just a little bit better……until one day we’re soaring down the bike trail of life with the wind in our face and the sun shining down.

Some of you have a bike you’re scared to hop on. You’re terrified of scraping your knees up. You will. You’re nervous you won’t be very good. You won’t be. You think the process will be uncomfortable. It will be. But if you’re willing to get scraped up a few times, you’ll be soaring in no time!

It’s like riding a bike!

Generosity is Caught, Not Taught

One of our six-year-olds, Finn, has a selfish streak in him. While Pax is always quick to share and give, Finn likes when things are about Finn. He’s less likely to share, more likely to take, and prefers when people bend their will to his desires. I’m sure many parents can relate to this story.

Finn has his own Christmas tree on his nightstand. It’s actually a shared tree between the two kids, but Finn is Finn. It’s a tiny little tree, obnoxiously filled to the brim with gaudy ornaments and lights. It’s very Finn-like. Yesterday morning before school, he was walking around the house with his tree’s LED star topper. When I asked what he was doing, he said, “I’m going to give this to Miss C (his teacher). Her tree needs it more than mine does.” This is one of his prized possessions! I was there when he presented this to his teacher just an hour later. She was quite taken back…..almost brought to tears. She walked him over to the classroom tree and let him place it atop. It was a very sweet moment.

To be honest, there are days when I wonder if my parenting is working in any shape or form. But I always go back to a quote I once heard, “more is caught than taught.” We as parents (or colleagues, neighbors, family members, etc.) need to remember this. We can say things until the cows come home. It may or may not make any difference….probably not. But when we live it? When we live it is when it comes alive! People are watching. People are always watching. They are watching what we do, not what we say.

Be generous. Always be generous. Then when in doubt, be generous some more. When we live in an open-handed posture of generosity, it becomes contagious. Not immediately, and not for everyone, but most certainly someone. And often, it’s the people we spend the most time with.

Dear God, please let my kids see, feel, and own the spirit of generosity - today and always. Amen!