Failure Isn't Forever

Earlier this week, I shared a heartbreaking story of a man who spent so much time and energy working for more money (so he could give his family a higher standard of living and have more time with his kids), only to realize years later that he missed his kids' childhoods. He feels a deep regret about the path he took. He now recognizes the irony of his situation. He thought he was doing what was needed to have more time with his family, but those actions were the very thing robbing him of a life with his family.

I received dozens of messages after publishing that post. Some people shared their sadness, others expressed parallels in their own lives, and many just appreciated the reminder of what's most important. One message stood out, though. It was from a friend whom I deeply admire. She asked that I share it with this man (which I did), and then I asked if I could share it with all of you (which she happily agreed). Here's what she said:

"As a daughter of a man who has never acknowledged he messed up, and has always been absent, please tell this man he is not too late, and he can still be present for their adulthood. He can turn the story around right now. First job interviews! Weddings! Babies! There's so much they will need him for. I hope he knows that!"

Wow! As someone who has made my fair share of mistakes and failings, I needed to hear that....and maybe you do, too. Failure isn't forever. It's a moment in time. It's something that happens, not who we are. It's an opportunity to grow....or give up. It's a chance to bounce back.....or shrivel.

There's a power in knowing our past failures don't define our future. We do have to reconcile with our past, but it doesn't mean we don't get a second chance. We can't change the past, but we can (and should) change the future.

Friend, I'm grateful for you sharing these powerful and personal words. I know it hasn't been an easy journey, but I'm always inspired by how you use your story to impact others. This man needed to hear your words, and many readers also need to hear them. But If I'm being honest, I really, really needed to hear them.....maybe that's why they cut so deep.

Laugh, Then Move On

I have a really bad habit. Every time I speak, record a podcast, create a YouTube video, or have a meaningful meeting with someone, I replay it back in my head in the hours and days that follow. Not only that, but I dissect and criticize everything I did or said. “Travis, you should have said ____.” Or “Travis, you shouldn’t have done _____.” All the way to, “ Travis, you screwed up that part where you could have made an impact!” The self-talk can become a death spiral! I hope I’m the only one who experiences this, but I’m afraid many others like me are out there.

Along the journey, however, something happened. I got to the point where I was recording so much content, speaking to so many audiences, and having so many meetings, that I couldn’t afford to dwell. I realized every moment I spent dwelling on what happened robbed me of the opportunity to make a difference in the next one. I also came to the realization none of this defines me. It’s a moment in time. It’s not my identity.

I’m glad I’ve progressed in this area, as I recently lived out my public speaking nightmare. I was emceeing Sunday services at my local church, as I do once every 6 weeks or so. I’m notoriously bad at recognizing when songs are coming to a close, so I always have the worship leader give me a little visual signal when it’s my cue to approach the stage. If done well, I’m in the right position a few seconds before they wrap up.

During the first service, my friend Kevin forgot to give me the signal. So there I was, realizing I need to be up there about 2 seconds ago, sprinting up the stage and into position. Not ideal, but it wasn’t a huge loss. Fast forward an hour. As I’m waiting for that same moment during the second service, I don’t trust Kevin to give me the signal (shame on me!). Instead, I thought to myself, “I got this! I’ll judge it well.”

You can probably guess where this is heading. At the perfect moment, I casually and confidently walked onto the stage and into position. Except there was a problem: they were still singing……and they kept singing. Uh oh, I was early! I was stuck! I couldn’t leave. I couldn’t unring this bell. I was a hostage to my own poor judgment. All I could do was stand there, with the bright lights shining, acting as though I was supposed to be there. I’m not sure how long it lasted. It felt like four hours, but it was probably 45 seconds……45 very lonely seconds.

Several of my friends gave me a hard time afterward, and we shared a laugh at my expense. But then I moved on. I made a mistake, was able to laugh about it, then moved on with life. It doesn’t define me and it won’t bring me down. I’m sure I’ll screw up again soon, but when I do, I hope I’m able to simply laugh and move on.

If I can learn this, so can you! Laugh, then move on.