Wipe Off the Mirror

Today's piece is more technical than usual, but it bears consideration. Let's say you're having a tough financial month. Expenses are running higher than you anticipated, unforeseen situations pop up, and/or you elect to make a purchase that wasn't originally budgeted. You'll inevitably exceed your income, and something must be done.

The worldly way is to simply throw it on the credit card and deal with it sometime in the future. No bueno! For those of you who don't play Russian Roulette with credit cards, a solution must be found. Enter the emergency fund. Emergency funds are great for the times when expenses snowball on us. Most people house their emergency funds in a savings account directly tied to their primary checking account.

Therefore, when the crazy months arise and we need relief, we can click a few buttons, and that money is available for use. How we choose to frame it in our financial life is where the rubber meets the road, though. One option is to bring the emergency fund cash into our account and silently use it to offset expenses behind the scenes. We receive the needed relief, our needs are met, and we can move on. It's all good, right? Wrong!

To show why this is an unhealthy approach, please allow me to show you the alternative. Let's say we're having the same crappy month, and we need to pull $2,000 from our emergency fund. Let's assume our car breaks down, and it's one of those oh-crap-what-do-we-do moments with our mechanic. We immediately know our budget will be $2,000 short, and we can bridge the gap with our emergency fund. Instead of allowing these transactions to happen behind the scenes, we do two important things:

1. We add the $2,000 into our budget as income. In my budget, I call this income line item "From E-Fund."

2. We add the unwanted and unexpected expenses to our budget. In this case, we allocate an extra $2,000 to the car maintenance category.

What's the difference? In the first scenario, everything looks good in our budget. It appears we make what we always make, and our expenses are normal (i.e. artificially low). That doesn't reflect reality.

Adding our emergency fund proceeds and associated expenses into our budget forces us to look in the mirror. Or, to be more specific, it forces us to wipe off the mirror to see more clearly. This transparency is the secret to accountability, growth, and ownership. When we can digest our situation at face value, we can face reality on reality's terms. This makes all the difference in the world!

That's why I repeatedly say we need to account for all income coming in, and ensure every dollar finds a home. The consequences are very real. People who properly account for their emergency fund use are far less likely to dip into it than people who facilitate it behind the scenes.

Wipe off that mirror! The more real you can be with yourself, the better you'll be......and you deserve better.

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Punched In the Face by Gratitude

Do you ever get frustrated? I mean REALLY frustrated. The car breaks down. You get turned down for that job. That girl/guy isn't interested in you. You got pulled over for speeding. Your flight gets canceled. Life can suck sometimes.....ok, lots of times.

It's easy to dwell on this stuff. We start sounding like our own little version of Debbie Downer. But then, something happens. We get punched in the face by gratitude.

As I've watched the national news coverage the past few nights, it's been non-stop coverage of houses in Los Angeles literally going up in flames. People woke up like any other day, and went to bed without a home or possessions. Everything they owned.....poof. It's truly one of the saddest things I've ever watched play out.

Those are the moments where gratitude punches us in the face. Life is never perfect, and sure, it would be nice if these frustrating circumstances would just stay away. But we should carry ourselves with gratitude that we aren't experiencing the pain and suffering that so many experience daily. If all that happened to you today is getting turned down for the job, your crush isn't interested in you, you got pulled over for speeding, your car breaks down, AND your flight gets canceled, you're still better off than so many. That's still worth celebrating. All of those crappy things piled into one day, but you end the day going home to your comfortable house with all of your possessions, you're still blessed. Weird perspective, I know.

I think we should live every day with gratitude, but it doesn't hurt to get punched in the face by it once in a while. Prayers to anyone who is impacted by these wildfires. I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. Better days are yet to come, and beauty will surely rise from the ashes.

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Growth For Growth’s Sake

I recently enjoyed lunch with an old friend. He's a former colleague who went on to create his own business. Over the years, his business has grown substantially, to the point where it now provides an income that far exceeds anything he or his wife ever imagined. To put it bluntly, his family is well taken care of.

That's the setup for what I'm about to say. He's stressed, stretched thin, and running out of steam. He's a grinder, and it's all catching up to him. In the same conversation, he mentioned to me that his goal is to grow the business by x% in 2025. My response: "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you striving to grow so much when you're already stretched so thin and running on empty?"

"Isn't that what I'm supposed to do? If you're not growing, your dying."

My friend is stuck in a success paradox. He's created something that's truly successful, but simultaneously, he created a life and career that can't provide peace and contentment. In his effort to gain security, he unintentionally self-sabotaged himself to the point where he can never enjoy it.

I need to clarify one thing. This guy loves what he does. He's living his calling, his meaning, and his purpose. He's doing exactly what he's meant to do, and that's awesome! However, at the same time, he's caught in the trap.

My next question was simple and straight to the point: "What do you really want?"

Not surprisingly, he said things such as being a present father, a supporting spouse, getting more involved in his church, feeling more peace, and finding more time to get away with the family.

His current business allows for all of this! He's already there! On the flip side, pursuing x% growth in the season ahead will most certainly hinder these goals. Therefore, he has a simple choice to make: meaning or money. Growth for growth's sake is a money grab, an ego grab, or both. But it's not meaning.

Whether you own a business or not, I think this concept can and should hit close to him. Growth for growth's sake. More for more's sake. Newer for newer's sake. Bigger for bigger's sake. Fancier for fancier's sake. These all lead us to the same place. When we strive for more just because "that's what we're supposed to do," we inadvertently self-sabotage our bigger purpose and our true goals.

As we walked out of the restaurant, I told my friend I hope his business doesn't grow in 2025. I hope it stays exactly how it is: amazing. If so, he'll position himself to do everything he says is important to him. Sure, more feels good. It's shiny. It's sexy. It's stokes our ego. But meaning always trumps it. Every. Single. Time.

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Repurpose It

As I was working with a small business owner yesterday, I experienced a full-circle moment. I was frantically drawing visual representations of a complex situation on the whiteboard. Adjacent, on the flat-panel monitor, was a mirror of my laptop screen, presenting a skeleton Excel model ready to come alive. That's when the full-circle moment hit me!

It took me back to a hot 130-degree day in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. I was visiting a client when a peculiar question arose. It was a concept I was familiar with but hadn't fully vetted. Out of necessity, and with the insights of the client and my colleague, we hashed through the idea and eventually found the answer we were looking for. From a broader perspective, though, I learned a concept that day that would stick with me for years.

Fast forward several years, and I had "thrown away" my career and transitioned to an entirely new career. All that wisdom, knowledge, and momentum, more than 15 years worth, gone. I spent the better part of two decades learning, growing, and building, and then poof (!!!!), I threw it all away......

......except I didn't. Nothing in life is wasted. Everything we do, learn, and accomplish is the springboard to what's next. Rather than throwing it all away when I left that career, I repurposed it. Next thing I know, I'm taking those same concepts into meetings with my dry ice manufacturing client. Then, something else happened. In bringing my previous experience, skills, and insight to the table, I actually learned even more! Not only did I not waste it, but it was a springboard to get even better.

Fast forward a few more years to yesterday, and I was sitting in a conference room with a small business client. This same concept I learned in Saudi Arabia, then enhanced with a dry ice manufacturer, was being used again to serve a totally different type of business. Nothing is wasted!

This concept applies to everything! Every learning, every experience, every interaction, every skill, and every relationship leads to the next. If that's true, then I'd encourage you to never condemn yourself for the possibility of "throwing ____ away." That's a toxic mindset that cements us in our place, conceding that our present reality is our inevitable future.

If that hits home for you, I encourage you to challenge yourself. If there's something in your life you want to do but would require you to "throw away" whatever experience, relationships, skills, or accomplishments you've garnered to date, ask yourself if that's really true. If nothing is wasted, you aren't throwing anything away; you're repurposing it.

For me, this epiphany was a game-changer. It gave me the freedom and permission to expand the vision, dream bigger, and be willing to make counter-cultural shifts in my career and life. I dare you to try it.

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The Value of a (Great) Partner

I've been getting tons of feedback on the post about my friend Dan's tiny house. In my piece, I discussed his knack for formulating absurd ideas.....and then executing them. Being as close as I am to him, I didn't even consider the most common feedback I would eventually receive:

• "It's easy to do those things when you're single."

• "He must not be married."

• "Sounds like he doesn't have kids."

• "Is there a way to do something like that if you're married with kids?"

Again, this angle never crossed my mind. Dan is happily married and has two teen sons. This fact surprised many. Why? Because big dreams, absurd ideas, and wild callings can oftentimes get crushed by our partners. So the fact that Dan has followed through with these beautiful ideas is a testament not only to him, but also his amazing wife, Suzanne.

It's true. She's a huge supporter, encourager, and fellow dreamer alongside Dan. That's the value of a great partner. Dan doesn't accomplish these big dreams despite his partner, but because of his partner. So beautiful!

People sometimes ask me how I quit my previous career, took a 90% pay cut, and started over with twin three-year-olds and a wife who stayed at home. Translation: "I can't believe your wife would allow you to do something so stupid and not leave you in the process." The truth is she was in favor of me making that decision, and was more than a year ahead of me on being ready for that to happen. She not only encouraged me, but she dreamed right alongside me. That's the value of a great partner.

It's not to say that Dan and Suzanne have a perfect marriage. And it's definitely not to say that Sarah and I have a perfect marriage (we have lots of junk in our relationship). But I can confidently testify that both relationships allow for big dreams and counter-cultural callings.

Enough forces in our lives tell us to let our dreams die. It's the way of the world. We develop big dreams as children, only to have them figuratively beat out of us as we work our way toward adulthood. Then, once every ounce of zest has been ripped from our souls, we concede to live a life we can tolerate for the next several decades until we're finally able to escape our variation of misery via retirement.

With a great partner and the freedom to put meaning over money, we can free ourselves from the tyranny of this modern-day trap. If your partner isn't there, not all is lost. Engage in the subject. Share the vision. Encourage having the freedom to dream. Don't give up hope. I've seen many couples develop this after what seemed insurmountable odds. It's never too late to embrace meaning and the road less traveled. It might just take one partner making the first move.

Yes, Dan is married. He has a good one in Suzanne. Whatever credit you attribute to him, you might as well shift it to her. The value of a great partner is priceless.

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Stepping Across the Line

Whenever I write about my disgust in the "support small business" movement, I suffer a momentary wave of panic that I'll lose some of my small business owner subscribers. After all, my ideas on the subject are about as counter-cultural as they come. I've lost my fair share of readers from this position, but I'm grateful for everyone who has stuck with me and has been willing to hear a different perspective.

With that context in mind, I have a fun story to share. One of my small business owner friends recently reached out via text. He confessed there were many days where his finger hovered over the "unsubscribe" button out of frustration, but for whatever reason, he decided to give me the benefit of the doubt. He's a big believer in "supporting" small businesses. This isn't news to me, as I've watched him spout off that destructive narrative for years on his social channels and in his marketing.

Here's what he said next! "A while back I decided to give your idea a try. Instead of asking people to support me, I just tried to be more excellent. Do better at marketing. Treat customers better. And give people more reasons to come to my business instead of someone else's (or the big box stores)."

I'm loving this so far! Let's continue: "And it worked! My revenue has doubled in the last 6 months and I wonder why I spent so much time worrying about people supporting me. As you say, excellence always wins."

Yes! Yes! Yes! By the way, I've seen a shift in his business from watching their social media. The change is palpable. They carry themselves with a newfound confidence, and it's clear they are in the business of serving people well.

They now realize customers don't owe them anything. Customers don't exist to serve them, but the other way around. Their sole responsibility is to earn the right to serve people, serve them with excellence, and earn the right to serve them again. And if they do that well enough, earn the right for those people to share the news with others.

This is exactly what my friend has done, and his business and family are thriving as a result. He used to act entitled to people's business and feel victimized by a lack of support. Today, he and his team add a ton of value to many people's lives; they are thriving!

This is the way business should be done. I'm not arrogant enough to think I will single-handedly change the world here. However, together, we have the potential to bend the culture and slowly move the needle in this area. My friend is certainly making a difference in his little neck of the world.

Whether you own a business or work for an organization, today is another opportunity to be excellent. If we do, the rest will take care of itself.....eventually. No excuses, no justifications, no entitlement. Just excellence.

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Where There’s a Will

I know a lot of people that do a lot of absurd things, and I mean that in the best of ways. For as much as people tell me I live a weird life, I'm surrounded by weirdos. Take my friend Dan, for example. Several years back, Dan decided he wanted to run 100 miles in a single day. See, I'm telling you! Anyway, he had this ridiculous idea that running 100 miles in a day is not only possible, but appealing. Then, he did it!

Dan also had another absurd idea. Back in 2018 or 2019, he revealed to me that he wanted to build a tiny house with his bare hands and use it as a retreat for himself, his family, and his friends. Not long after that, he presented me with some architectural drawings of what it would look like. Oh, I guess he was serious.

Fast forward five years, and he recently completed his house. To celebrate and commemorate the moment, he invited me and three other guys to stay in the house with him a few nights ago. The five of us had a blast, and it was amazing to see his dream come to life.

Posing in the new house!

Dan lives life via a series of absurd ideas. However, he doesn't talk about things that he might someday think about possibly wanting to consider dreaming about doing. No, he does. He simply does. He's called to something, then acts. He dreams of something, then follows through. He develops a plan, then executes. If there's a will, there's a way......regardless of how crazy the idea might sound.

There's one caveat I need to share, though. Dan isn't superhuman. He's not larger than life. Truth is, he can't do it alone. He trusts and relies on the people around him to support him, encourage him, walk alongside him, and fill in his gaps. That's the secret, though. We weren't meant to do life alone. His dependency on others is a strength, not a weakness. Dan cracked one of the cheat codes of life.

See that picture above? Every person in that photo (plus many more) played roles on the day of Dan's ridiculous 100-mile run. Cheat code. Similarly, the same group of guys donated their time, talents, or resources to help bring the tiny house dream to life. Cheat code. Other people's involvement doesn't lessen his monumental achievements.....it just gives him more people to celebrate them with. These are still Dan's wins, but shared amongst people he loves and who love him. Double win!

Where there's a will, there's a way. And the way likely involves others. Please dream big. Please believe in your ideas.....even the absurd ones. Please have the courage to go for it. Please have the humility to bring others into the fold. Life is better together, and together, we can achieve far greater things.

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It’s Not Gonna Kill You

Never underestimate a person’s ability to justify overspending. Despite all the pitfalls and perils of overshooting our budget, as well as the warning signs as we approach the end of our rope, we still find ways to work our way into irresponsible decisions.

There’s one specific example that gets thrown in my face as an example of why we must overlook the boundaries and simply act. “Travis, what if you need to buy groceries but are out of grocery money? Just not buy groceries?!?!”

Yes, correct. That’s exactly what I’m suggesting. It’s not gonna kill you. In 99% of situations, there’s enough collective food in the pantry, fridge, and freezer to make it through. It won’t be fun. It won’t be convenient. And it might not be tasty. But it’s absolutely a feasible approach to the situation.

I can tell you from experience that this approach sucks, but is effective. It’s effective for a few reasons. First, it teaches discipline. If there’s one area we’ll want to bend the rules, it’s this. If we draw a line in the sand here, we establish a principle and willpower that carries deeper and broader.

Also, since the consequences of our failed budget or failed execution completely sucks, we incentivize ourselves to learn from the experience and do better next time.

Third, we learn grit. We do hard things because we’ve done hard things. And we do them together. We persevere, fight for the cause, and endeavor to do what it takes to meet our goals.

I’m so grateful for those crappy months when Sarah and I screwed up our grocery budget so royally that we had to white-knuckle pantry dive for a few weeks. It’s happened more than once, and each time was as painful as the last. But it was so, so good for us. The habits and principles it set in our life are priceless, and are partially responsible for the life we have today.

It’s not gonna kill you.

One, One, One

One of my friends dropped a pretty fun wisdom bomb on me yesterday. As we discussed the piece titled "Is this the year?" he shared a concept that stuck with me. He calls it the "one, one, one." Each year, he'll discern what he wants to focus on in the year to come. Focusing on too many things is never productive, so this is where his concept comes to life. He only focuses on:

• One new skill

• One new habit

• One new hobby

No more, no less.

First, the skill. Find a skill you don't yet possess, and endeavor to develop it through the year. It could be a skill related to your work, your desired work, or even something personal. Determine what steps need to be taken to progress. It doesn't matter how good you get, but rather focus on the act of moving forward.....period. If you start at 0% and end the year at 50%, that's still a win. It's about the journey, not the destination.

Next, habit. Figure out what habit would improve your life, then commit to injecting the necessary discipline, consistency, and willpower to manufacture a sustainable habit. This is more about grit and determination than knowledge, skill, or insight. The goal is that by the time the year is over, it's a locked-in given in your life.

Lastly, hobby. I love this one! Instead of continuing to fall into the exact same interests we've had for years (or decades), pick something foreign and just engage with it. This is actually the hardest one for me, as I rarely justify the time for hobbies.....and get stuck in my old interests. The goal isn't to find your newest love as much as it's about the openness to try. This new hobby might become your next passion, or not. And if not, perhaps it's the springboard to what does become THE thing.

While I didn't necessarily think about this broad one, one, one concept before today, I can see glimmers of it as I reflect on 2024. I developed two tangible skills during the year. The first was writing. Sure, I've been writing for much longer, and this blog existed for 12 months before the start of the year, but 2024 was the year I learned how to write. How to think, communicate, and engage. I also learned the art of teaching businesses how to dig deep into their margins and truly understand their operations at a meaningful level. Again, something I already knew, but 2024 took it to whole new levels.

For habits, I leaned hard into intermittent fasting (7PM-12PM). I've now been doing it for about 18 months, and I'm not going back. It's transformed my life and how I live it, and I'm grateful it's now part of my day-to-day life.

As I previously mentioned, hobbies are a hard one for me. I can't put my finger on any new hobbies in 2024, but I'll be thinking about it as 2025 unfolds.

One, one, one. Does this bring to life any ideas, thoughts, or goals?

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First, Stop the Bleeding

Debt continues to crush our society. Across the board, debt levels continue to rise. Record high credit card debt. Record high auto loan debt. Record high student loan debt. The pendulum has swung toward more debt.....and it's not swinging back. As I see this play out in the lives of families, I'm literally watching this debt erode people's lives from the inside-out. Constant tension. Marriages lost. Stuck in jobs. No saving for the future. Using more debt to keep the train on the track. Modeling bad behavior for kids. Watching the cycle repeat in the next generation.

Millions of families have conceded defeat, willingly subjecting themselves to the turmoil and suffering caused by this destructive cycle. Some, though, desperately want out. They recognize there is a better reality, a different way of living. They know it's possible, but despite best efforts, they can't seem to claw their way to the other side.

I always share three promises with anyone interested in getting out of debt:

1) It's really simple

2) It's really hard

3) It's worth it far more than you could ever imagine

For many, it seems like every time they make progress, regression pushes them back to where they started.....or worse. This is primarily because they failed to execute the initial and crucial step: First, stop the bleeding! Let's use an analogy. You're sitting in a canoe and notice a bunch of water at your feet. Concerned by this development, you start to shovel water out. But no matter how fast or how much you shovel, the water line keeps rising. It's because you didn't plug the hole. You didn't stop the bleeding.

This is why so many people struggle with debt. They try to pay it off without first stopping the bleeding. They keep their credit cards open. They're still willing to sign the dotted lines for more student loan debt. They're open to using debt for their next vehicle. I promise you, if debt is an option, it WILL be used. Even while paying off debt, you'll find yourself sabotaging yourself along the way.

Well, what's the alternative? If we truly want to get on the other side of the debt, we need to resolve to NEVER let debt be an option.....ever. No more car loans. No more student loans. Close the credit cards. Stop the bleeding! Draw a hard line in the sand and be stubbornly unwilling to cross it. Then, and only then, can we move the needle and finally get on the other side of debt like we deserve.

This is a very controversial and counter-cultural idea. I get it. I've been on both sides of this in my own life, and have coached hundreds of people through it in their journeys. Armed with that experience and insight, I promise you that not only is it possible, but it's amazing!

If this speaks to you, perhaps this needs to be a mission in 2025. Maybe someone in your life needs to hear this; encourage them! This is the year! Draw the line, cross it, never go back.

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Is This the Year?

While every day is a great day to make changes, there's something special about New Year's. Closing the book on one chapter, beginning another. A reset of the calendar. New hope. Endless possibilities. It's a time to reflect on what was, and dream about what could be.

Is this the year?

Is this the year you create financial unity with your spouse?

Is this the year you get out of debt?

Is this the year you start that business?

Is this the year you get intentional with budgeting?

Is this the year you get in shape?

Is this the year you lean hard into generosity?

Is this the year you apply for the job that better suits your gifts, passions, and values?

Is this the year you get married or build your family?

Is this the year you remove toxic forces and people from your life?

Is this the year you launch a new product or service?

Is this the year you change your diet?

Is this the year you share your art with the world?

Is this the year? Hit me back and let me know what you'll accomplish in 2025. I hope it's the year. I hope you crush it. I hope it's the best one yet. Happy New Year, everyone!

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Build It, Break It, Fix It, Repeat

I'll start with a question. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you succeeded, then succeeded some more, then continued to succeed, and eventually failed by the weight of your own success? This is a fairly common occurrence in my coaching world. Positive momentum is great, but it doesn't come without a cost. Eventually, inevitably, and unfortunately, success often creates new challenges. I see this a lot in clients who pay off a ton of debt, but then struggle as soon as the debt is paid off. I also see this with the NFL players I've worked with, where it's all good until it becomes too good...then the wheels can fall off.

We recently experienced a version of this at Northern Vessel. We've had a wild year, which was capped by an even wilder December. All of our efforts, marketing, hospitality, and momentum led us up to the Christmas season. Then, last Saturday, we broke. Over a six-hour period, we sold 90 drinks per hour, or 1.5 per minute for the entire six hours. To put it into context, our entire shop is 1,500 square feet and comfortably seats 20 (with no drive-thru). Yet, we sold about 550 drinks in a shortened day. It was great, it was bonkers, and we are grateful. At the same time, though, our team was fried, we ran out of product, and we couldn't offer five-star hospitality that lived up to our expectations. We broke the machine.

The drink line!

There's a saying I like to use: "Build it, break it, fix it, repeat." We built it, then we broke it, and now we must fix it. TJ and I have spent a lot of time the last few days dissecting all the ways in which we broke. Which pieces were our fault? Which pieces were circumstantial? Which pieces can be fixed? Which pieces can be improved upon? How do we do better next time? Everything is on the table.

After all, that is the goal. We desire for there to be a next time. We must earn the right for there to be a next time. We need to fix it, then repeat. If the relentless pursuit of excellence is more than just a catchy slogan, we need to own that. Build it, break it, fix it, repeat.

The same goes for many areas of our lives, including finances! Each time we level up, our success will inevitably create new challenges. We can't rest on our laurels, though. It's imperative that we grow with it. Each time we get better in a specific area of our life, that success will create new challenges (and new opportunities!) that we must confront. The alternative is to be happy with the growth and allow the breakage to stop future growth.....which is a common path for many.

Instead, this is my challenge for you today: Build it, break it, fix it, repeat. Embrace the struggle on the journey. It's not a straight line. It can be messy. Enjoy the journey!

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Today Is a Great Day to Change Your Life

In a few hours, I'll be meeting with a young couple. I've been looking forward to this meeting for a long time. After digging through their information and numbers, I'm even more excited. Today, they get to decide if they want to change their lives. If they do, it will be transformational. If not, it will continue to look like it does today. This isn't a family in need, or experiencing profound pain, or in a weird situation. They are doing well by most people's standards, but want to take this to a different level. A healthier perspective, more unity, better traction, and a confidence they are doing the right things.

The craziest part about changing our lives is that we probably already have the tools we need. It's already right in front of us. We just need to better harness what we're blessed with to get there. This couple, without making a single penny more after today, has the opportunity to change their lives forever. That's an exciting and terrifying thing to consider. It's exciting because real change is at our fingertips, but it's terrifying because it rests on our shoulders to follow through.

We all have that same opportunity today. We can stay where we're at and keep doing the things we always do......or we can draw a line in the sand and do something about it. Today is a great day to change your life. I have one particular thing in my life that I need to follow through. I can transform my life, or I can continue down the path I'm on. I have the tools, but do I have the will? Exciting and terrifying. More on that to come.

How about you? Today is a great day to change your life.

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The Mortality Is Real

One of my former schoolmates from my childhood recently lost her battle with cancer. She was just 39 years old, leaving behind a husband, two small children, and an army of friends. We weren't close, but we did have the opportunity to connect over social media a few times over the last handful of years.

Over the past 48 hours, I've realized how much this has impacted me. We often live our day-to-day lives with the general assumption we have a long time remaining. We picture ourselves as old, wrinkly, and frail. We treat our days, weeks, and months as if there will be countless more to follow.

Our mortality is real, though. We don't know how much more time we have left. Our days are numbered, whether few or many, short or long. If that's true, why do we spend so much time obsessing about money, stuff, and status?

I once heard something that stuck with me. An old man, worth tens of millions of dollars, was reflecting on his life and his mortality. He said he would give up everything (all his money, stuff, and status) to be 40 again. Unfortunately, he can't. There are no DeLoreans for us to jump into. However, what if you're 40 today? Or 50? Or 30? Or even 20? Based on this rich man's perspective, what you have is more valuable than tens of millions of dollars. It's worth more than all the money, stuff, and status one could have. The same money, stuff, and status you're spending your days, weeks, and months trying to attain. Let that sink in.

The mortality is real, man. I feel so heartbroken for my friend's family. They lost a good one in her. But I don't think her story will be in vain. I truly believe it will inspire thousands of people to live with more meaning and purpose. Her impact will ripple for decades to come. Perhaps this blog post can be a small springboard to share that message.

I don't know if you needed to hear this today, I sure did. Have a meaningful, awesome day.

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Focusing On the Right Keywords

I've received a bunch of feedback from yesterday's post about Cole's road-less-traveled approach to life and work, and how he exchanged security for meaning. Many found it encouraging, some believe my ideas are far-fetched and inaccessible to most, and some simply lashed out in anger. But two trusted friends sent me similar thoughtful responses that are worth digesting. In short, their responses followed one clear and specific idea: traditional jobs can provide meaning, too.

I'm often accused of swinging the pendulum too far in favor of self-employment and business ownership, but that's never my intent. Rather, I try to focus on keywords. Did you spot the keyword in yesterday's post? First, I'll tell you all the NON-keywords:

• It wasn't "security"

• It wasn't "steady"

• It wasn't "good office job"

• It wasn't "responsible job"

• It wasn't "safe"

There's nothing inherently wrong with any of those things. Here's the keyword from my post: "miserable." Cole was absolutely miserable in his job. It's not to say that Cole couldn't have found some level of meaning in that work, but him taking that job was a square-peg-round-hole type situation. The only redeeming value of that job was whatever money or security it provided. It was a means to an end. With that said, that exact job might be the dream job for someone else. Someone with a different wiring, different calling, different passion, and different skillset might have crushed that role.

See, it's never about chasing insecurity, counter-culturalism, irresponsibility, or controversial path. It's about chasing meaning. It's about understanding ourselves enough to know what work matters to us, and what work doesn't. For as much as I'm impressed by Cole's work, it sounds miserable if I put myself in his shoes. I would never want to do what he does, as it doesn't align with my wiring, calling, passion, or skillset. Vice versa, while I thrive in my work, it would be Cole's worst nightmare if he had to walk in my shoes.

I'm a HUGE fan of traditional jobs......if they align with that person's wiring, values, and objectives. It's not my job to tell people what work to pursue or not pursue. Rather, it's my job to help people find their ideal work, then aggressively pursue it. I know people who have worked the same traditional job for two decades and find a ton of meaning in it. Similarly, I know people who have bucked normal, chased entrepreneurship or self-employment, and are utterly miserable. The right answer is whatever is right for you. The wrong answer is whatever is wrong for you.

I spent 15 years in corporate America, and it was fulfilling for me. I could have absolutely stuck with that path for the rest of my career and had an amazingly fulfilling and meaningful journey. I recently ran into a bunch of my former colleagues, and many of them are living the most beautiful and meaningful lives.

I appreciate my friends for calling me out when it seems like I'm unintentionally bending one way on this. Never my intent. However, I will forever violently bend all the way in the favor of meaning. Always seek it, and never let others tell you where you should find it.

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Ode To Insecurity

Today's post is about Cole Netten, my Meaning Over Money partner. My relationship with Cole and his wife Kate began in their later college years, as they were about ready to graduate, get married, and join the working world. Upon graduation, Kate began her teaching career, and Cole found a pretty good office job. It wasn't the job of his dreams, but it was safe, steady, and provided security for his new family. It was a responsible job.

Just days into his new job, I invited Cole to lunch since we were now working in the same building. When he showed up, he looked like a shell of his former self. It was still Cole, but yet it wasn't. His zest for life seemed missing. His go-with-the-flow nature was replaced with angst. He looked absolutely miserable!

Within a matter of weeks, Cole impulsively quit his job and told Kate about this decision AFTER he did it. Yikes! What in the world was he thinking!?!? He landed a solid job right out of college! This job would have provided a nice income for them. It would have helped them grind out their debt. It would have allowed them a higher standard of living. It most certainly would have felt more secure. Yet, Cole instinctively lit a match and burned it down.

Fast forward several years, and Cole and Kate still don't have security. Their standard of living isn't something to envy. Their financial life is anything but steady or predictable. While all that may be true, there's something else I need to add: They live a truly blessed life. Cole's career as a filmmaker is just as choppy and uncertain as it's ever been. Kate primarily stays home with their THREE kids, from newborn to four. In my opinion, their marriage is something worth mimicking. They are truly a special couple. But "secure" isn't on their scorecard of life.

A few days ago, Amazon Prime released a new documentary titled ChiefsAholic, a film about a Kansas City Chiefs Superfan who was secretly living a double life as a serial bank robber. Cole helped make this movie!

Add this to the ridiculous list of projects he's done:

• Shooting feature segments for College Gameday.

• Manning Taylor Swift watch in the underbelly of Arrowhead Stadium for ESPN.

• Doing commercial work for prominent regional and national companies.

• An accomplished drone pilot.

• Shooting and grip work for feature Hollywood films and documentaries.

• Shooting post-game press conferences in the Kansas City Chiefs locker room.

• Shooting weddings for NFL superstars.

Oh yeah, and he's barely 30-years-old. He's done all this in less than a decade. What in the heck is he going to do in the next 10, 20, or 30 years? All because he turned his back on a "good" job. A "secure" job. A "responsible" job.

I'm so freaking proud of this guy. Not so much for what he's accomplished, but for the road-less-traveled example he's setting for hundreds or thousands of people around him. Meaning over money. Purpose over security. It's one thing to say it, but another to live it. He and Kate live it.

Take from this what you will. Oh yeah, and go watch ChiefsAholic on Amazon Prime!

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Now What?

It's the middle of the night. I'm exhausted, but I can't sleep. My brain won't turn off. All I can think about are the three most wonderful days celebrating Christmas our family just experienced. It wasn't perfect, but man, it was good. And now it's over. All the anticipation, all the hype, all the fun…..and it's over. Now what?

This can be a depressing and loaded question. Science shows that the anticipation for a particular event is as fulfilling and enriching as the event itself. That's why we often experience hangovers when the event is done. A mourning. A grieving. A lonely feeling. That's what I'm experiencing as I'm lying here awake. Now what?

That question oddly makes me smile. While I'll inevitably be exhausted today, and sad Christmas is over, I have the honor of returning to some pretty amazing work. I have a few client meetings teed up where I'll have the opportunity to celebrate their awesome work in 2024 while preparing what's to come. I have a strategic planning meeting with TJ to set the table for Northern Vessel's next year. I have some key projects for my dry ice client that are coming to a head. I'm meeting with a few struggling families that just need a hand-up. I'm speaking in front of an excited and engaging audience. 

I'm fortunate. Not everyone has this answer to the "Now what?" question. Most people will, unfortunately, have a different type of answer. Statistics show that roughly 7 in 10 Americans will have a pit-in-the-stomach feeling when confronted with this question. That's so sad, but I get it. I've been there, too! If that's you, I challenge you to consider making a shift in the new year. You deserve better. You deserve a life that doesn't involve inevitable pain on the backside of fun events. You deserve joy before the event, during the event, AND after the event. 

Maybe that's the gift you need to give yourself. It does exist. It is an option. It's right there waiting for you. Please don't let fear hold you back. Now what? Hopefully something awesome!

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A Christmas Fortune

We had a beautiful Christmas Eve yesterday. As always, it included an unsuccessful attempt at a decent family photo:

After church service, we enjoyed our traditional Christmas Eve Chinese dinner. When the bill came, four fortune cookies sat atop the little black receipt sleeve. The boys quickly tore into theirs. Finn's was about the virtue of being a lifelong learner, and Pax's talked about how his life was about to turn around (whatever that means for an 8-year-old). Then, I opened mine: "Happiness isn't in having what you want but rather in wanting what you have."

Contentment. For many, today is about getting more and having more. Millions of Americans will inventory all the cool gadgets and gizmos they now possess. Countless people will record and publish "Christmas haul" videos on YouTube, showcasing their new swag. Seriously, search for "Christmas haul" on YouTube.

I fall more into the fortune cookie's camp. Happiness isn't having what I want. If that were true, I'd be running a never-ending race. Every time I get what I want, instead of being happy, I'd just want something else.

On the flip side, I want what I have. I'm grateful for what I have. I cherish my life and all that I'm blessed with. While it's easy to point our eyes outward at what everyone else has, I much prefer to look inward and simply be grateful.....period.

Choose contentment. Remember what's most important. Be grateful for all you have. Your health, your family, a warm place to live, food on the table, a job that provides, the freedom to live the life we choose. Oh yeah, I'm grateful for my God as well. If you're a believer, I hope that's also at the center of your day.

Merry Christmas, all!

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You’re Still An Author

Do you aspire to write a book one day? If so, that's awesome; I hope you do it. If not, that's totally cool. Regardless of how you answered that question, you're still an author, though.

Each day, when you wake up, you're the author of your journey. Every decision you make, every encounter you have, every challenge you face, and every win you celebrate each represent an excerpt in the story you're writing.

It's not a coincidence I'm writing about this topic today, on Christmas Eve. These types of days, the more notable events in our calendar, offer a particularly juicy opportunity for our authorship. These are the moments when we have ripe opportunities to author beautiful memories for us and our children. Every day is an opportunity to create memories, but not all days are created equal. Today might be one of those special opportunity days for your family. I know it is for mine.

Later, we'll attend Christmas Eve service at our church, which we've attended yearly for the last 14 years. Then, after unsuccessfully trying to take a family photo at our church's homemade photo booth, we'll share a meal together at a local Chinese restaurant. Again, this is a tradition spanning more than a decade. Our kids look forward to it each year, and it often involves reminiscing about memories of past Christmas Eve Chinese dining experiences. It's woven into the fabric of our family's holiday celebration.

We'll end the night with a reading from Sarah's 40-year-old edition of The Night Before Christmas, a book she's possessed since she was a baby. Sarah's the narrator, and she reads it exactly how her late father read it to her when she was a little girl. It's one of the highlights of her year.

I'll be the first to admit I whiff on things. I miss opportunities. I regret the times I don't take advantage of the moment. However, I can't (and you can't) let the misses inhibit our ability to seize the next moment. It doesn't matter how many times I miss; I'm still going to shoot my shot the next time the ball is in my hands. Despite a lot of heavy stuff this holiday season, we've also managed to author a ton of ridiculously cool memories.

You're an author, whether you like it or not. But through the lens of how I just explained it, I hope you not only like it, but absolutely love it! This is your time to shine. Yes, you'll screw up. Sure, you'll whiff on moments. But don't let that deter you from crushing the next one. So, get that pen out. It's time to write that next chapter in your (and your children's) story.

Merry Christmas Eve, everyone!

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But What Inputs?

I appreciate the flood of comments I've received from yesterday's post. If you missed it, I discussed the importance of focusing more on the inputs than the outputs. Instead of dwelling on the outcome, we should fix our attention to our decisions and contributions that go into xyz endeavors. I used the example of Northern Vessel's recent record-setting day. While the numbers from that day (outputs) were amazing, we chose to reflect on the inputs that ultimately made it happen.

Several of you asked for a real-life example of inputs vs. outputs that would apply to the vast majority of readers. Your wish is my command! I have a great example to share, and I hope it lands well.

As you probably know, I love investing. It's been a passion of mine since I was 16 years old. To summarize, I'm a big believer in investing in the entirety of the U.S. stock market, paying as few fees as possible, and remaining extremely patient. Doing so has a 154-year track record of success (9.2% per year over 154 years and 10.4% per year for the last 100 years).

All that said, it's a mess! By "9.2% per year," that doesn't mean the market returns 9.2% each and every year. That's the long-term compounded average. The road to get there is rough! To illustrate that, guess how many years in the history of the stock market have provided a return in the 8%-10% range...........

............three years. Only three times out of 154 years (1912, 1916, and 1993) have resulted somewhere in the 8%-10% range—the rest fall on either side of that. The market has done as well as +53% (1933) and as bad as -40% (1931). Over a five-year span, the market has done as well as +23% per year and as bad as -11.5% per year. Again, it's a mess!

As such, we would do ourselves a tremendous disservice if all we did was focus on the outputs. If we judged ourselves on how our investment portfolio played out in any given year, it was be an emotional rollercoaster. One year, you'd feel like a genius, and the next a total failure. That's the consequence of focusing too much on the outputs.

Instead, we should focus on the inputs. Here are some examples:

• Am I investing in the right type of funds? I'm a huge fan of the S&P 500 or total U.S. stock market indexes.

• Am I investing with as few fees as possible? Most of my clients pay 0.04% or less (vs. most people paying 1.5%-2.0%).

• Am I consistently contributing? It doesn't matter what the stock market does if you're not contributing.

• Am I being patient? Selling or making knee-jerk adjustments is destructive.

If you have the right answer for each of the questions above, it doesn't actually matter what your portfolio does this year or any other year. You're focusing on the inputs, not the outputs. When we do that, the outputs will take care of themselves.....eventually.

You won't beat yourself up. You won't lose sleep. You won't obsess about volatility. You'll just live your meaningful life.

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