The Value of a (Great) Partner
I've been getting tons of feedback on the post about my friend Dan's tiny house. In my piece, I discussed his knack for formulating absurd ideas.....and then executing them. Being as close as I am to him, I didn't even consider the most common feedback I would eventually receive:
"It's easy to do those things when you're single."
"He must not be married."
"Sounds like he doesn't have kids."
"Is there a way to do something like that if you're married with kids?"
Again, this angle never crossed my mind. Dan is happily married and has two teen sons. This fact surprised many. Why? Because big dreams, absurd ideas, and wild callings can oftentimes get crushed by our partners. So the fact that Dan has followed through with these beautiful ideas is a testament not only to him, but also his amazing wife, Suzanne.
It's true. She's a huge supporter, encourager, and fellow dreamer alongside Dan. That's the value of a great partner. Dan doesn't accomplish these big dreams despite his partner, but because of his partner. So beautiful!
People sometimes ask me how I quit my previous career, took a 90% pay cut, and started over with twin three-year-olds and a wife who stayed at home. Translation: "I can't believe your wife would allow you to do something so stupid and not leave you in the process." The truth is she was in favor of me making that decision, and was more than a year ahead of me on being ready for that to happen. She not only encouraged me, but she dreamed right alongside me. That's the value of a great partner.
It's not to say that Dan and Suzanne have a perfect marriage. And it's definitely not to say that Sarah and I have a perfect marriage (we have lots of junk in our relationship). But I can confidently testify that both relationships allow for big dreams and counter-cultural callings.
Enough forces in our lives tell us to let our dreams die. It's the way of the world. We develop big dreams as children, only to have them figuratively beat out of us as we work our way toward adulthood. Then, once every ounce of zest has been ripped from our souls, we concede to live a life we can tolerate for the next several decades until we're finally able to escape our variation of misery via retirement.
With a great partner and the freedom to put meaning over money, we can free ourselves from the tyranny of this modern-day trap. If your partner isn't there, not all is lost. Engage in the subject. Share the vision. Encourage having the freedom to dream. Don't give up hope. I've seen many couples develop this after what seemed insurmountable odds. It's never too late to embrace meaning and the road less traveled. It might just take one partner making the first move.
Yes, Dan is married. He has a good one in Suzanne. Whatever credit you attribute to him, you might as well shift it to her. The value of a great partner is priceless.
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