None of Us Really Know What We're Doing

I had a fantastic meeting with two women yesterday who are interested in starting a business. They are each accomplished in their own right and carry themselves with a strong sense of calling and purpose. The passion they have for their work and prospective business is palpable.

As we dove into some of the particulars of starting and running a business, I could tell one of the women was a bit self-conscious about her business acumen. She's absolutely brilliant and successful at her craft, but the business side of things is new-ish to her. Sensing how she felt about this, I added the following regarding business owners: "Don't worry. None of us really know what we're doing. We're just in different stages of figuring it out."

I hadn't actually thought about that until it escaped my mouth, but it's so true! Business owners know nothing....until they know something. And the only way they know something is by doing something they didn't know how to do. It's the ultimate in discomfort. Even Elon Musk, one of the greatest business people of our time, has done everything in his career for the first time at one point or another.

I think most business owners would share the same sentiment if willing to be honest and humble. None of this is easy, but it gets easier as we gain experience. Discomfort turns into experience, which unlocks new discomforts. It's a beautiful, terrible cycle. It's not for everyone, but I love it so much.

I think this woman needed to hear that yesterday, and I suspect some of you do as well. Don't be so hard on yourself. You don't know what you don't know, and there's only one way to change that.

I couldn't be more excited about the ideas these two women shared with me. The potential impact is great, and the passion is real. I have no idea where they will take this, but wherever it goes, I'll absolutely be cheering them on every step of the way!

Please don't be afraid to meet the world with what you currently have to offer. You're better today than you were yesterday, and tomorrow, you'll be better than you were today. "Don't worry. None of us really know what we're doing. We're just in different stages of figuring it out."

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Respecting Younger You

I have a seared-in memory of a youth group conversation that happened many years ago. One of the girls excitedly told the group that she had just received her new iPhone earlier that day. Mid-sentence, one of her friends interrupted, "Wait, didn't you just get a new phone a few months ago?"

"Yeah, I did, but that one broke"

Another kid pops in, "This is like your third phone this school year."

"Well, fourth. They keep breaking, so I need to replace them."

Another guy jumps into the discussion. "My dad told me that if I ever break my phone, I'm responsible for buying a new one."

The original girl was shocked. "That's terrible! You'll never be able to pay for a phone on your own. That's not fair!"

I looked at the guy and asked, "How many times have you ever broken your phone?"

"Never! I can't afford to. I'm very careful." The answer I was expecting!

There's a lot to be learned from this story. It's a story of entitlement, ownership, personal responsibility, and cause and effect.

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As I picked Finn and Pax up from their band practice last night, I witnessed Finn quickly turn 180 degrees, nearly causing his electric guitar to collide with the corner of a concrete wall. If he were standing two inches closer, we would have had a disaster on our hands.

As we got in the car, I explained to him that he needed to be more careful. He replied, "Well, if something happens to my guitar, we can just buy me a new one."

"If you break your guitar, you're responsible for buying a new one, Finn."

"What!?!? That's not fair. I don't have that much money."

"Well, you better be careful. I'll show you a better way to hold it when you're not playing it, but the responsibility to take care of it is yours."

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Cause and effect is a wonderful teacher; it's also a humbling one. When handling our finances and the possessions purchased with said finances, it's imperative that we steward it well. We shouldn't covet our money or things, but we ought to respect it. Kids struggle with this, but so do many adults. We're quick to blow money, break things, spend money on things we don't care bout, lose things, continue unused subscriptions, incur needless banking fees, rack up interest, and countless other mindless anti-stewardship actions.

Again, this isn't about penny-pinching, idolizing, or hoarding. It's about honoring the fruits of our labor and making the best use of our resources. Remember, every dollar you spend on something you don't care about is one dollar you can't spend on something you do. Therefore, be thoughtful, be intentional, and ensure you're paying proper respect for the work younger you put in to earn those resources.

Oh yeah, and have a great day!

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Lessons From a Second-Grader

I remember the first summer league open gym I hosted for Finn and Pax's team this summer. For most (if not all) of these kids, this was their first club basketball experience. Some had played some version of Parks and Recreation before, but this was different. Besides, they were seven-year-olds who just finished first grade a few weeks prior. I think my first ever organized sport might have been fourth-grade basketball, so this was young young.

One particular kid looked anxious. I could tell this was all new to him, and it didn't necessarily come naturally to him. But it was clear he wanted to give it his best effort, which he absolutely did. After practice wrapped up, he approached me: "Coach, what's one thing I did good, and one thing I can work on before next practice?"

I was floored! I wasn't expecting anything like this to happen, so he caught me off-guard. I thought for a minute and provided the most constructive feedback possible. As we walked into the gym a few days later, he approached me again. "I've been working on xyz like you told me." Sure enough, I could tell he had already grown in that area. After practice, he pulled me aside and asked the same question as the prior practice. One thing he did good, and one thing he can work on. I wasn't expecting him to do it again, but I wasn't as flat-footed with my answer this time.

He's asked me the same two questions every single time we've played ball together.....maybe 20 times now. Funny thing, I now think about his two questions as the night progresses, anticipating that moment. Without fail, he seeks me out after practice. I owe him sincere feedback, and I always provide it to him.

Want to know how powerful this is? He's probably grown more as a player these last five months than any kid out there. He sincerely internalizes all of my feedback and works to implement it. He's tremendously coachable, and I love that about him. Today, he doesn't appear anxious when he steps onto the court. He has confidence and a determination about him. I'm excited to see him play in his first game on Saturday. It's going to be a cool experience, and I have no doubt he'll continue to get better each and every time he steps onto the court.

I think we should all approach life like this young man, with curiosity and a sincere desire to grow. To make ourselves vulnerable for the hard-to-hear feedback. Not for the purpose of dragging us down, but rather to help us climb higher. There's no doubt I'd be better at so many things in life if I had the courage to take his approach.

Maybe it's time for me (and you) to start asking the hard questions. If we do, I suspect we'll grow and improve far more than we ever have. It's always humbling to be taught lessons by young kids, but then again, we all have so much to learn.

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Pull Your Levers Wisely

Years ago, I read something that transformed the way I view restaurants. The author explained that every dining establishment has three possible levers to pull:

• Great product: high food quality

• Great prices: self-explanatory

• Great location: some combination of neighborhood, access, scenery/views, and the physical space.

If a restaurant pulls only one, it’s a bad business and will quickly fail.

If a restaurant pulls all three, it will probably fail as well, as it won’t have sustainable margins. Think about a cafe right on the boardwalk along the ocean. Amazing views and killer vibe…..that’s probably expensive real estate. Their food is amazing….top quality. Their prices are extremely affordable, borderline customer robbery. This combination will attract a massive audience, but it doesn’t have legs; it will eventually fizzle.

Therefore, all restaurants must choose two, and can choose whatever two they want.

They can choose a great location, killer food, and high prices. This is the model of a high-end restaurant.

They can choose a great location, marginal food, and reasonable prices. This is your typical tourist trap dining experience.

They can choose a sub-par location, crush the food, and offer reasonable prices. This is what I refer to as hole-in-the-wall gems.

If I have a vote, I ALWAYS choose door #3. I don’t need great views, swanky neighborhoods, or fancy furnishings. I just need mind-blowing food at a decent price.

If I were to inventory my favorite restaurants, it’s not an impressive list of buildings or locations. The kind of buildings most people would be scared to enter. Neighborhoods that are difficult to get to or not where I’d hang on a Saturday afternoon.

Though it’s the restaurants who are pulling these levers, it’s we, consumers, who are pulling our own levers when we decide which establishments to visit. The businesses can’t have all three, and neither can we (well, unless we hit up that amazing beachside cafe before it goes out of business).

This idea has fundamentally changed the way I dine, but It’s also changed the way I view most things in life. There is no magic bullet. There’s no free pass. We can’t always have our cake and eat it, too. We must make these lever-pulling decisions in accordance with our values. There are only so many levers we can pull, so pull wisely.

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What It’s Really About

I've been hearing the wildest comments, feedback, and word-of-mouth referrals about the blog lately, and I say that in the most positive sense. I never take those kind words for granted, and it fuels me to create something meaningful each and every day. I share this because one particular story stood out a few days ago.

No, it's not the one where my friend told me she's "addicted" to reading my blog each morning, though that comment absolutely made my week!

And it's not the one where someone recently said he starts his day with three things: "A coffee, the Bible, and reading The Daily Meaning." Again, wow!

It's this one. A friend recently shared that he occasionally forwards my blog posts to his wife, encouraging her to sign up. But she's not one to care much about reading a daily money blog. Eventually, she relented and signed up, which I'm assuming was so she wouldn't have to listen to him talk about it anymore. My friend's recent feedback: "She likes it because it's not always about money!"

I love this, and she's so right. I would take it a step further and suggest that it's never actually about money. Well, it kinda is, but money is NEVER about money; it's always about something bigger. While it's true that we need to earn enough money to provide basic needs (food, clothing, shelter, and transportation), money is much more valuable than whatever dollars and cents are attached to it. Money, and how we perceive and handle it, is a reflection of our values, principles, and aspirations. In other words, it's an extension of us and what makes us tick.

It reminds me of a quote I heard long ago: "Show me your checkbook and I'll show you what's really important to you." It's so true! How we perceive and handle our money is an honest reflection of what we actually value (not what we say we value).

Money has the power to do great evil....or world-changing good.

Money has the power to add value to our lives....or rob us of it.

Money has the power to fulfill your wants......or others' needs.

Money has the power to create much stress and tension......or be humbly filled with gratitude.

Money has the power to fuel our desire for more......or walk with a posture of contentment.

Money has the power to become an idol.....or be used to glorify the one true idol.

So yeah, while money will absolutely continue to come up (it's what I do for a living!), it's never really about money. I'm so grateful my friend shared this story with me. It's a reminder to us all that money is NEVER about money; it's always about something bigger.

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Author Unknown

I've had a great few days in Houston, spending time with one of my clients. The days have been long but rewarding. I'll be in their office again today and tomorrow, returning home late Monday night. I'm grateful for the opportunity to add value to their business, and I am glad we could get creative with our schedules.

Given how tired I am, I was running short on writing inspiration. That's when I opened my blog inspiration folder in my Notes app. It's stocked full of thoughts, ideas, and concepts for future brainstorming. But something in particular caught my eye. It was just a few sentences, but I can't figure out where it came from. I did a terrible job notating the context of this one. Here's what my note said:

"Accepting generosity, accepting appreciation, and accepting recognition are all related. As difficult as it can be to accept them, rejecting them can be a symptom of false humility and reminds me of one of my favorite quotes - "Humility is nothing but truth, and pride is nothing but lying." St. Vincent de Paul. Accept generosity, appreciation, and recognition when they're true and pure."

Did I write this? It's something I believe, but the sentence structure is a bit different than my style. Did Gary Hoag write this? It definitely seems like something he'd say, but I can't find any matches on his daily blog. Did Ryan Schon write this? This St. Vincent de Paul quote is embedded in Ryan's Twitter bio! But if he wrote it, I can't figure out where I pulled it from. Did I pull it out of a book? If so, there's zero chance I'll figure it out. Oh well, it shall remain a mystery.

Regardless of the source, there's so much beauty, power, and wisdom in this text. Many may find it convicting. Oddly enough, it's much, much easier to be generous than to accept the generosity of others. I know so many giving-minded people who are incapable of accepting gifts (physical or otherwise). They insist on being only on one side of the giving ledger. That's called pride, perhaps leaking into arrogance.

This is one of the many things Gary Hoag taught me nearly a decade ago. I can't be a truly generous person until I learn to sincerely receive generosity from others. After all, receiving generosity is an act of generosity in itself; you're giving the other person the opportunity to be a blessing. Rejecting the gift is the same as stomping out their generous spirit, which is a form of anti-generosity.

I think many people will struggle with this idea today. Good! Let's be challenged. Allow this to push your comfort zone. Doing so is essential in this journey toward a more generous life. Have an amazing day!

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First, Do It Poorly

I was sitting in a crowded bar with a buddy, each of us sipping on an old fashioned. We were casually chatting about football. Can the Cyclones run the table? Are the Bears actually decent? How do the Chiefs keep ripping off wins despite a growing number of injuries? 

Then, without notice, his demeanor changed. He became much more serious, almost sad. He confessed that he and his wife have struggled with money for many years. Or, as he put it, "neither one of us is any good with money." I had lots of questions:

"Do you two budget?" 

"No. Never have."

"Are you investing?"

"No. We don't know how."

"Are you giving?"

"Not a chance."

"Do you save money each month?"

"No. We live paycheck to paycheck."

"Do you talk to each other about finances?"

"Never."

The theme was clear. They aren't good at these things, so they simply don't do them. They've opted out, citing incompetence.

It reminds me of Finn and Pax's basketball team, a bunch of second-grade boys. I started working with these boys early in the summer; they were terrible! Well, in their defense, they were seven and had barely ever played before. It was all new to them. Dribbling. Passing. Shooting. Defense. Rebounding. Picking. Many could barely get the ball up to the hoop. 

Today, though, they are so much better! They seem much more confident on the court. They have a better feel for the game. They understand the principles. Their first game is next weekend, and I'm so excited to see how it goes. Will they win? No idea. But I do know one thing: they are far better today than when we started playing in June.

Here's a concept that applies to all areas of life: First, we must do it poorly. Then, we get to do it ok. Later, we get to become good. Eventually, we have the opportunity to be great. But it all starts with our willingness to be terrible.

These little boys don't understand this concept....they are little boys. But that's exactly what's happening. Each practice, they try, and fail.....try, and fail again. Little by little, they go from being terrible to being ok, then good, and maybe one day great. It's all part of the journey.

There's no world in which one of these little boys walks up to me and says, "Well, I'm not as good as Steph Curry, so I might as well quit." That would be insane. Yet, we adults do it every day. If we don't know how to do something, we simply concede we've lost that battle. Instead, let's endeavor to do it poorly. Budget poorly. Invest poorly. Give poorly. Save poorly. Communicate poorly. Doing it poorly is the gateway to great. But don't opt out! Don't take your ball and go home. Have the courage of my seven-year-olds. Be willing to fail. Be willing to be bad. Be willing to get a little better each day.

First, do it poorly.

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You’ll Still Be You

Have you heard there's an election coming up? Surprise, surprise, I know! I don't have a magic eight-ball to predict the winner, but I do know one thing for sure: 45% of this country will be elated, and 45% will be devastated. One group will be optimistic about our future, and another terrified. One faction will celebrate wildly and rub it in the other side's faces, while the other faction will cry foul.

I also know one other thing for sure: You'll still be you. You're going to wake up the day after the election with the same family, the same job, the same issues, the same blessings, the same relationships (hopefully), the same opportunities, and the same responsibilities. No matter who wins, you still get to be you.

We're living in a time where we're quick to concede our individual fate to the hands of the electoral college. If our side wins, we'll be successful. If our side loses, we're screwed. That's not just a harmless mindset. That perspective also translates into our actions and behaviors. Instead of viewing our lives through the lens of personal responsibility (and opportunity), we're giving up control and treating ourselves as victims of uncontrollable circumstances.

While it's true there may be implications and consequences if x or y party wins, that doesn't define you or your future. Yes, changes will happen. Yes, things might feel scary. Yes, external forces will impact our journey. But we are still the authors of our stories.

For that reason, I'm a big believer in sticking to the plan. Keep moving forward. Don't let the noise distract you. Do the right things for the right reasons.

If your goal is to pay off debt, pay off debt.

If your goal is to save, save.

If your goal is to become more generous, become more generous.

If your goal is to contribute more to investing, contribute more.

If your goal is to shift careers, shift.

If your goal is to find more marital unity in your finances, keep moving forward together.

When the election dust settles, you'll still be you. Some of you might read this post and roll your eyes. However, I have a feeling many people need to hear this today. Yes, it's intense. Yes, it's scary. Yes, it's important. But your own influence in your life is far greater than any election will ever be. You got this…no matter what happens.

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Always Be Unreasonable

As many of you know, I'm obsessed with Facebook restaurant review groups. They are a unique view into the perspectives, philosophies, cultures, and values of customers and business owners alike.

A while back, I saw a gem of a post by someone who reported finding a foreign object in their take-out entree. Upon contacting the business to report the incident, a representative at the restaurant, without even offering an apology, told them they would need to drive back to the restaurant and personally return the tainted order if they wanted a refund. The customer, already inconvenienced by discovering a hazardous object in their meal, was further inconvenienced by being instructed to waste more of their evening by driving back to the restaurant. This customer declined and instead decided to torch this restaurant on the Facebook group. Many people defended the restaurant in this situation, citing the risk of potential fraudsters (i.e. people trying to get free food) as the reason the restaurant requires a physical return. Commenters even somehow defended the restaurant's lack of apology or remorse.

Yesterday, I saw another gem of a post, but of a different variety. After eating half of her meal, the customer requested a to-go container for the remainder. Then, she accidentally dropped all the contents on the floor as she boxed her own meal; it was admittedly 100% the customer's fault. The restaurant employees quickly swooped in to clean up the mess and told her the kitchen was already re-making her a new sandwich. The customer assured the server that wasn't necessary (you know, because it was 100% her fault), but the server insisted.

That was an unreasonable act by the restaurant. An unreasonable act of hospitality. This customer was so blown away by the gesture that she quickly shared this story on the Facebook group. Just 16 hours later, her post had been shared five times, liked 1,100+ times, and commented on 66 times. The comments were overwhelmingly positive. Some people cited their own stories of unreasonable hospitality from this same restaurant, while many others voiced their newfound desire to dine there for the first time.

In the first example, the restaurant prioritized profit first and the customer last. Eventually, they will lose.

In the second example, the restaurant prioritized the customer first and profit last. This is why they will win. Ironic, I know!

Did the restaurant end the night with lower margins because of this act? Absolutely! That's a mathematical fact. However, the goodwill they built from their unreasonable hospitality holds much more value in the broader scheme of things than the potential profit they lost. Further, that customer walked away with a powerful story that was quickly converted into word-of-mouth marketing, which will inevitably result in more business.

Regardless of your vocation or industry, whether an employee or an owner, unreasonable hospitality is always the right approach. Generosity always wins. I hope you find some opportunities to practice that today!

Oh yeah, one more thing. The restaurant from the second story is called The Angry Goldfish. I've never been there, but I will soon after hearing about their generosity and practice of unreasonable hospitality. Maybe you should check them out, too.

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Opening Eyes, Escaping Traps

I'm going to start today's post with a correction. In yesterday's piece, I shared the story of a young couple who wanted to buy a car without debt. I explained how they planned to buy a $20,000 car by saving $500/month for 20 months. Blog reader Ryan pointed out an error, as $500 x 20 = only $10,000. That was a fat finger on my part. This couple planned to save $1,000/month for 20 months. It required them to significantly pare back their budget and sacrifice, but they did it and paid cash! **I’ve since corrected this error on the website.

On the heels of yesterday's post, I received some expected pushback. Specifically, I was accused of exaggerating the monthly car payment this couple would need if they decided to buy a new car. The exact words were, "A $580 car payment seems over the top. That doesn't even seem like a realistic number. Car payments aren't that high."

One of my favorite aspects of my podcasting and blogging is the opportunity to share a broader perspective with people. Understandably, most people's context regarding many of these topics is singular: theirs. They know their life, and it's hard to see things through the lens of other people's situations. That's why some people think our economy is fantastic, and others believe it's trash. We don't know what we don't know. We see the world through our one-of-one reality.

I'm grateful that in my work, I get to walk alongside hundreds of people and try to put myself in their shoes. With that preface in mind, back to the car payment. Some see a $580 car payment and think that sounds outrageous. I see a $580 car payment and now think to myself, "Oh, theirs isn't so bad." I remember when I saw my first $1,000 car payment. It was startling. Now, I expect it. Further, I now regularly see $1,500 car payments. It's bonkers!

I often get accused of beating this car topic into the ground......guilty as charged! I believe cars are the single biggestcontributor to our modern-day financial struggles. Our cars are literally killing our finances. Here are a few stats to show where we're at (second quarter 2024 data):

• The average new car loan is now $41,000

• The average new car loan term is 68 months (more than 5.5 years)

• The average new car loan interest rate is 6.8%

• The average new car loan payment is $734/month!!!!

• The average new car insurance payment is $194/month!!

• That means, on average, the monthly cost for a new vehicle in America is $928/month.

It's an epidemic, but it gets worse. Since cars depreciate in value by about 15% per year, and we're extending the loan terms out longer and longer, nearly 1/4 of vehicle trade-ins have negative equity (meaning people owed more on the car than it was worth). This causes people to perpetually borrow more than their newly purchased car even costs.

This trap is killing millions of families! At least 25% of people reading this are probably experiencing high monthly car payments. The opportunity cost of those payments is tremendous, and I have enormous empathy for everyone in that situation.

But we don't have to play these games! It's 100% possible to escape the car loan debt cycle. It takes sacrifice, humility, persistence, and dedication. But you can absolutely do it!

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They Ate the Elephant

A young couple scheduled a coaching consultation with me. They had questions. They needed wisdom. Here was their dilemma: They needed to buy a replacement vehicle soon, but they didn't have any money. Everyone in their lives told them to get a car loan. Their parents told them. Their friends told them. Their co-workers told them. Their neighbors told them. The cultural undercurrent was clear: they should just get a big car loan and quickly buy the vehicle they want. Yet, all the while, this idea didn't sit well with them. They had this wild inclination that a big, fat car payment would somehow hinder their ability to live a free and meaningful life. Thus, they scheduled a meeting with me.

The car they were considering cost $35,000 (new). A six-year loan would cost around $580/month. This felt heavy, and understandably so. My first question was why that particular vehicle. They talked about reliability, longevity, and common practice. After reading some reviews and discussing alternative options, we concluded we could find a suitable alternative in the $20,000 range. It was a different model, slightly used, with some miles on it. That step alone was a game-changer.

Next, we needed to figure out how to pay for it. They could easily go to the bank and get a loan, but they wanted to avoid debt (and perpetual payments) if possible. They had very little cash, so $20,000 still seemed unattainable. There's an expression that goes something like this: "There's only one way to eat an elephant: one bite at a time." Thus, we needed a plan. Given their existing car situation, we decided they could push this decision off for upwards of two years. Therefore, they set a plan to pare down their budget and save $1,000/month for 20 months. If they could do that, they would have enough cash set aside within two years to buy the vehicle.

This still felt insurmountable, but they were crazy enough to try. It took intentionality and persistence, but they ended up doing it in 19 months. $20,000 of cash in hand! They eventually decided to save for a few more months and ended up with about $22,000.

You know what they did next? They did exactly what everyone else told them they shouldn't do. They paid cash for a car. A car they could afford. A car that would suit their needs while also allowing them to live a free life. They ate the elephant!

Don't fall for the trap. There are better ways to live out our finances. Harder ways, but better ways. Patience. Delayed gratification. Humility. This young couple is so glad they took the path less traveled. They are living for meaning first, and it's a joy to watch. You deserve the same!

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Parsing Needs Wisely

In yesterday's post, I shared about our experience watching the Iowa State Cyclones go 7-0 on a last-minute comeback win on Saturday. I'm still riding that high, though somewhat disappointed we fell one spot (to #10 in the country) in the latest poll. Don't worry, I'm not going to rant about ISU football again today. Rather, this most recent game reminds me of a story from last week.

I was chatting with a friend about the upcoming football game, which was supposed to be a blackout (all-black uniforms and fans also wearing black). Amidst our conversation, my friend lamented, "Ugh, we need to buy black ISU gear for the game. That's gonna cost at least a few hundred dollars."

He immediately spotted the confused look on my face, then added, "What? Didn't you hear it's a blackout? We need to wear black, and we don't have any. So we need to go buy some."

See the common theme here? Need, need, need. My response was simple: "Or you could just wear non-black ISU attire......or you could wear black non-ISU attire. You don't NEED to spend hundreds of dollars on clothes just for this game."

He looked at me like I was absolute idiot! While I'm all for dressing the part, there's zero chance I'm going to spend a ton of money to buy gear just so I can fit in for a one-time event......especially if it's not part of my budget. This guy, on the other hand, was ready to sabotage his family’s finances over it. It wasn't this specific decision that was going to sabotage him, though. It's the fact he regularly blurs the line between need and want, and then makes poor financial decisions accordingly. It continually puts stress on him and his marriage, all in the name of "need."

I tried to sell him on a different perspective, but he wasn't having it. He said this is just part of life, and real fans would understand. I told him this wasn't about football gear, but he again wasn't having it. It wasn't all bad news, though. He ended this part of our chat with, "But you can use this in your blog." Grateful, my man!

As you can see in the photo I included in yesterday's post, we were wearing black, but it wasn't splattered with ISU logos. We didn't go shopping. We didn't blow a bunch of money on special gear for the occasion. However, we did have an amazing time and we'll probably remember it for decades to come. Nothing about our experience was a need. It was a series of fun wants that added up to a wonderful evening.

It's important to parse our needs wisely. Needs are needs, and it's important to recognize them as such. But the moment we try to square-peg-round-hole a want into a need, our decision-making becomes tainted. That’s counter-productive and destructive. Be true to yourself and be honest with the person in the mirror. You’ll always be better off for it.

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Sear It In

Wow, what a night! The Cyclones entered yesterday's game 6-0 for the first time in nearly 100 years. Home game. Ranked #9 in the country. 6:30 PM kickoff. Nationally televised. The moment was ripe for something special.

TJ, Finn, Pax, and I excitedly drove to Ames, eager for what could unfold. We were hoping for a blowout, but we were treated to something far worse (and ultimately better). Down 14 points in the second half, Iowa State completed the comeback by scoring the game-winning touchdown with just 30 seconds remaining. It was probably the loudest I've ever heard a stadium in my life, and my head was spinning. The boys were dancing, screaming, and celebrating like I had never seen before.

Amidst the pandamonium, I leaned over to TJ and suggested that this might be Finn and Pax's first seared-in sports moment. A moment they might someday tell their own kids about. The type of moment that will ultimately get stored away in their core memories.

I might have had a better pure sports experience had TJ and I went to the game without kids. However, I will forever be grateful I shared it with the boys. Whether that moment is seared in for them or not, it certainly is for me.

I've been to hundreds of sporting events in my life. I've also been to thousands of other events. Most come and go without incident. Fun times, then quickly forgotten. Not all events are created equal, though. Some, often unexpectedly, will sear into your brain and remain there forever. Those are special.

Since it's impossible to tell which ones will be set apart from the rest, our only means of control is to put ourselves in a position to create those memories and give ourselves an opportunity for amazing to happen. That happened last night, and I couldn't be more grateful.

I hope you find your seared-in moments, and are able to share them with the special people in your life. That's meaning!

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Exposing the Secrets

As I was chatting with a friend yesterday, I noticed, in real-time, that the stock market hit a new all-time 155-year high (since 1870). Curious, my friend asked me a few questions.

"Didn't the stock market just tank?"

"No, it went down by about 10% and quickly bounced back to all-time highs......but nobody is talking about that part."

"Is the stock market up on the year?"

"Yes, by about 23% since January 1st. Up 34% in the last 12 months."

"I don't know. It seems impossible to get 9% like you always talk about."

"The U.S. stock market is up nearly 12% per year over the last 15 years."

"Did you get those types of returns?"

"Yes"

"How much time do you need to spend to do good like that?"

"5 minutes per year"

"How often do you make moves?"

"Never"

"Seriously, how do you know when to sell?"

"I haven't sold anything in over 20 years. I literally never make moves."

"Tell me your secrets!"

"There's no secret, really. Invest in a total stock market index. Ignore the noise. Do nothing. Be extraordinarily patient."

"Yeah, but what else?"

"I do nothing else."

"What are the chances of losing money doing it your way?"

"It's not MY way, but it is a good way. There's never been a 15-year period in the history of the U.S. where the U.S. stock market lost money. Never. You’re 30. Statistically speaking, based on history, there’s zero chance of you losing money on your current investment portfolio by age 45 if you’re invested in the broad market.

"It seems too good to be true."

"The simplest answers often do, but the math is the math."

"Maybe I should try."

"Yes! Yes, you should!"

This turned into an odd post, but the conversation merits repeating. I have similar discussions at least 2-3 times per week. With so much noise in our culture around this topic, we must stress truth and simplicity. The overcomplication of this matter leads to paralysis and poor decisions. Instead, when we shine the light on truth and make it simple, we can focus on what matters most:

• Invest broadly.

• Invest cheaply.

• Stay consistent.

• Don't get scared.

• Be patient.

• Do nothing.

• Live a meaningful life.

It's a simple but clean recipe for much success. Life is too short to worry about investments, trying to follow the next hot trend, or chasing your golf buddy's ridiculous stock tips. Simple is good.

If you have any questions, hit reply to this e-mail or leave a comment below on the webpage. I'm here to help! Have an awesome day!

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What if It Were Life or Death?

We all have different financial wirings. Some of us are spenders. Some of us are savers. Some of us are givers. We can also be a combination of two to three, but our wiring is quite real. I'm a giver and a saver. My wife is a spender. That's neither good nor bad....it just is. What we do with our wiring is where we determine our perspective of and relationship with money.

Conversely, most of us have a natural weakness, some more glaring than others. Some people struggle to spend; I call them hoarders. Some people struggle to give; that's some form of selfishness. Others struggle to save; that's called irresponsibility. Back to my wife, Sarah. She is a great spender and has a generous heart, but she struggles mightily with saving. She's not alone, though!

Many people struggle to save. There are many contributing factors to this type of wiring, spanning from nature to nurture. Many people were simply born that way and have been exhibiting those traits since the toddler stage. For others, materialism and instant gratification were modeled front-and-center for them as children. Then, there's a population of people who grew up with very little. In the casualness of the word "poor," they were poor poor. For a large stretch of their life, they had very little. This has created a behavioral undercurrent where they will quickly spend any time they come into resources.

I regularly meet with a couple that struggles to save. Both are wired as spenders. They love spending (and are active givers), but they would rather endure a root canal than save money. This has resulted in much stress, tension, and turmoil in their financial life. They have several large expenditures coming soon, and they have no plan to pay for it.

"We just aren't good at saving," exclaimed the wife. "It's just not something we can do."

I reframed the conversation. "If you needed $5,000 to perform a life-or-death surgery for your kid, do you think you could save then?"

"Of course we could! We would find a way."

The moment she said that, a sheepish look formed on her face. It wasn't really about whether they could or not, but rather what priority it played in their lives. Up to this point, they couldn't successfully save because it wasn't actually a priority. Will it become a priority for them? Only time will tell.

This is a good mental hack to play on ourselves. Any time we struggle to accomplish something and feel defeated because we "can't do it," reframe it. Ask yourself if you could achieve it if it were life or death. If the answer is yes, then it's a prioritization issue, not an ability issue. I'm not saying it will be easy or come naturally, but the prioritization piece tremendously moves the needle!

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The Awakening

I've been stewing about a message I received from a Meaning Over Money podcast listener. He learned about our content from a friend; he doesn't know me or have any connection with my work. He just received an episode link one day and decided to keep listening. He explained that, in some ways, I was saying obvious things he already knew. Yet, at the same time, I talked about it in a way he had never heard it explained before.

Ultimately, upon reflecting on his own life and the decisions he made, here's where he landed: "I got everything I ever thought I wanted, then realized it's all crap."

I know exactly what he's saying. I hear this type of sentiment often. His story is like many others. The big house, nice cars, Facebook-worthy trips, status-driving titles, trendy wardrobes, and the day-to-day lifestyle to put a cherry on top. It's fun. It's alluring. It makes people feel a certain way about you. Ultimately, though, it's empty.

Not everyone has this moment of clarity where they realize, in the harsh words of this podcast listener, "it's all crap." Some people will live nearly their entire lives believing the materialistic ways of our society are the eventual ticket to happiness and fulfillment. But for the many who receive a harsh wake-up call, it can be disorienting and agonizing. To realize most of what you've been chasing for years (or decades!) was a fool's errand is a humbling experience. It can be tremendously painful, and I walk alongside many families in this stage of their journey.

It's not all bad news, though. Quite the contrary! These moments of clarity, though painful, offer a fresh start and a new fork in the road to pursue something different.....something better. I'll give you a glimpse into what often happens in the immediate aftermath of these awakenings:

• An aggressive pursuit of work that matters.

• More intentionality to spend time with those they love most.

• A significant increase in generosity.

• A shift from spending on things/stuff to memories/experiences.

• Less focus on the future and more on living in the present.

• More contentment.

• More joy.

• Oh yeah, and more meaning.

I feel bad for what this man is enduring, but I'm equally excited for what's to come. This next season will surely be his best (and most challenging) one yet.....it's going to be awesome! Regardless of where you are on your journey today, I hope you find this same type of clarity and all the richness that spawns from it. It's so tough, yet so beautiful.

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Beware the Shadow Side

I spent some time with a friend a few nights ago. He and his wife have some house projects that NEED to be completed. It's a need need. You know, the type of things that don't get advertised when home ownership is overly glorified in our culture. These are some serious projects that require serious attention.....and perhaps a bit of urgency. One problem: They don't have enough cash handy to quickly execute. They could save for it, and they would love that option, but the timing isn't conducive to that judicious plan.

The option we discussed is a HELOC (home equity line of credit). They have a TON of equity in their house, so this feels like a feasible option for them. While I'm never a fan of going into debt, this seems like the lesser of all evils. It also makes me feel better knowing they are using the money to reinvest back into their home, not buying a boat (or some other depreciating asset)

After discussing the mechanics of how it would work and whether it could be a viable option for them, he asked the question I was dying to answer: "What's the shadow side of using a HELOC?" He knows me well, and he knows I'm constantly thinking about the behavioral science of things. In short, there are three psychological traps to using a HELOC:

1. Since HELOCS mechanically operate much like credit cards and have much lower interest rates, having a large HELOC credit line can be a slippery slope. If they need $15,000 for a project, but the available line is $40,000, that extra $25,000 could be spoken for real quick!

2. Adding fuel to the psychological fire, they are essentially borrowing from themselves. Well, their future selves. This is their equity, after all. They are just accessing it now, long before the property gets sold. Knowing this is their money (instead of the bank's) can wreak psychological havoc on one's decision-making.

3. Since HELOCs typically only require interest-only payments, there's no forced principal paydown. Unless intentionally done so, the loan will never get repaid, and the borrower will perpetually pay interest on it (i.e. it feels better and easier to not pay it down than the alternative).

We had a great chat, and I think he's looking at it the right way. More than anything, I'm glad he's taking his time, assessing it from all angles, bringing in outside input, and considering the shadow psychological factors that may be at play. That tells me he'll likely be ready to approach it with prudence, wisdom, and caution.

Each time you make a financial decision, consider the shadow side. What psychological factors might be at play, and how will you combat them? We can't eliminate them, but if we are aware, humble, and intentional, we can overcome them.

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Owning Non-Excellence

Irony is best served cold. Yesterday, I talked about how the bar has never been lower. People and businesses are underperforming at an astronomical pace, and we've never seen such an opportunity to meet the market with excellence to excel (with our respective careers or businesses).

Then mere hours later, I performed a masterclass in non-excellence by letting three separate people down: a client, a blog reader, and a fellow board member. Three whiffs, three embarrassments, three regrets. Several factors played into my mistakes, including my new agonizing back injury and technical issues. However, while it would be easy for me to make excuses for these mistakes, there was one common theme in each of them: Me!

The truth is, it doesn't matter what caused the mistakes. The mistakes happened.....period. Passing the blame to some other reason, whether valid or not, doesn't undo the mistake. Therefore, it's my duty to take full responsibility for my non-excellence. There is no other path forward.

In an endeavor to be excellent, there will be non-excellence. It's just going to happen. But what are we going to do with it? Justify it? Excuse it? Blame others? Try to pretend it didn't happen? I hate all of those options. For me, the only reasonable and honoring option is to sincerely apologize, make it right, and endeavor to do better going forward.

That's the only path to excellence. Another way I try to think about it is I'm in the business of getting it right, not being right. If I'm wrong, my obligation to my clients, friends, and colleagues is to get it right; and getting it right starts with taking ownership of the non-excellence.

We must do this personally, and we must do it professionally. It hurts to look in the mirror and realize I'm 100% to blame for something (as I did three times yesterday). But it hurts worse going to bed at night knowing I tried to wiggle out of a mess caused by my own hands. I'll take that slice of humble pie every day of the week.

Today, I plan to be excellent. Will I accomplish it without fail? Probably not. But I'm going to give it my best shot. And WHEN I fall short, I'm going to sincerely apologize, make it right, and hopefully learn from it.

One percent better every day.

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The Bar Has Never Been Lower

"The bar has never been lower."

• TJ Rude, Founder of Northern Vessel

I hear this from TJ at least once per week. It's a commentary on the state of business in our modern times. Businesses today are riddled with poor product quality, inconsistency, bad customer service, and a lack of hospitality. The bar has never been lower. If a business gives us a half-decent product in a moderately reasonable timeframe, and they don't treat us like garbage in the process, we act as though they are wonderful. The bar has never been lower.

I dealt with many businesses during my Minneapolis trip this weekend. Retailers, restaurants, hotels, and venues. The majority were bleh. Poor quality. Inconsistent, Terrible service. Practically no hospitality. I repeatedly watched businesses treat people like dirt and sell them inferior products. The bar has never been lower.

One of my favorite hobbies is to read the comments on restaurant reviews in local Facebook forums. Almost all towns have these FB pages. People found a sharp piece of metal in their salad. The food came out cold. The manager screamed at them. The food didn't arrive for an hour. The restaurant snuck in a secret fee or overrode the tip. Without fail, the commenters blame the customer for not addressing these issues directly with the restaurant. There's almost always another comment about how all restaurants "have an off day." Oh yeah, we also need to include the obligatory comment about how we can't expect anything better because wages are so low. We continually justify and defend terrible. The bar has never been lower.

While there are a lot of components that go into running a successful business, or having a successful career, it's also simple, too. Provide a good product, be consistent, offer good service, and do it with a spirit of hospitality. The bar has never been lower.

One of my friends is far more successful than either of us thought he would be. He didn't create anything world-changing. He sells a simple product. It's nothing special, and I'd argue his competitors have a better product. But he's consistent, he offers great service, and he practices hospitality. People want to work with him. Customers are drawn to him. It's simple! The bar has never been lower.

I hope you think about this as you engage in whatever work is on your plate today. Think about this motto: The bar has never been lower. If that's true, you have an opportunity to stand out! You have a chance to rise above the crowd. Be excellent! Serve others well! Show people to expect better!

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Ouch and Joy

We had the most amazing time at the Twenty One Pilots concert last night. My kids were hyped, and they had huge smiles on their faces from start to finish. It was one of those memories that I pray will be seared into a four of our brains. At the same time, I struggled with agonizing back pain. I could feel it building for a few days, but yesterday morning I was struck with shooting pains down my legs. Even while writing this, it is radiating through my body.

Last week’s trip to Mongolia was a life-changing endeavor. It’s something I’ll never forget, and spent time with people I see far too little. At the same time, I was sick nearly the entire week while there. I’d wake up feeling lousy and go to bed feeling like I had been hit by a train.

No matter how good things get in life, it won’t be pristine. It won’t be perfect. There will always be things that run the risk of tainting it.

So we have a choice. Allow these negatives to ruin it, or celebrate the beauty despite the flaws. While I’m in enough pain that it’s difficult to even type this, I’m choosing to see the beauty. If I waited until things were perfect to appreciate and savor them, I’ll be waiting until eternity.

Whatever wins you’re experiencing today, don’t let the negatives rob you of the joy. Maybe you need to hear that today; I know I do.

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