Lessons From a Second-Grader
I remember the first summer league open gym I hosted for Finn and Pax's team this summer. For most (if not all) of these kids, this was their first club basketball experience. Some had played some version of Parks and Recreation before, but this was different. Besides, they were seven-year-olds who just finished first grade a few weeks prior. I think my first ever organized sport might have been fourth-grade basketball, so this was young young.
One particular kid looked anxious. I could tell this was all new to him, and it didn't necessarily come naturally to him. But it was clear he wanted to give it his best effort, which he absolutely did. After practice wrapped up, he approached me: "Coach, what's one thing I did good, and one thing I can work on before next practice?"
I was floored! I wasn't expecting anything like this to happen, so he caught me off-guard. I thought for a minute and provided the most constructive feedback possible. As we walked into the gym a few days later, he approached me again. "I've been working on xyz like you told me." Sure enough, I could tell he had already grown in that area. After practice, he pulled me aside and asked the same question as the prior practice. One thing he did good, and one thing he can work on. I wasn't expecting him to do it again, but I wasn't as flat-footed with my answer this time.
He's asked me the same two questions every single time we've played ball together.....maybe 20 times now. Funny thing, I now think about his two questions as the night progresses, anticipating that moment. Without fail, he seeks me out after practice. I owe him sincere feedback, and I always provide it to him.
Want to know how powerful this is? He's probably grown more as a player these last five months than any kid out there. He sincerely internalizes all of my feedback and works to implement it. He's tremendously coachable, and I love that about him. Today, he doesn't appear anxious when he steps onto the court. He has confidence and a determination about him. I'm excited to see him play in his first game on Saturday. It's going to be a cool experience, and I have no doubt he'll continue to get better each and every time he steps onto the court.
I think we should all approach life like this young man, with curiosity and a sincere desire to grow. To make ourselves vulnerable for the hard-to-hear feedback. Not for the purpose of dragging us down, but rather to help us climb higher. There's no doubt I'd be better at so many things in life if I had the courage to take his approach.
Maybe it's time for me (and you) to start asking the hard questions. If we do, I suspect we'll grow and improve far more than we ever have. It's always humbling to be taught lessons by young kids, but then again, we all have so much to learn.
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