Here

Sarah and I recently stumbled upon a fascinating film. I was scrolling through Netflix while Sarah vetoed movie after movie. Nothing sounded good to her, and she wanted me to know that. Eventually, frustrated by her unwillingness to commit, I picked something and said, "This is the one! We're going to watch it, and we're going to enjoy it." It indeed was the one.

The movie is called Here. Released last year, it stars Tom Hanks and Robin Wright, and was directed by Robert Zemeckis (the creator of Back To The Future and Forrest Gump). It's one of the most unique films I've ever watched. For example, the entire movie is set at a single camera position, and the screen never fades out; one continuous shot for 1 hour and 45 minutes. See, fascinating!

Photo Credit: IMDB

It's been nearly two days since we watched it, and I can't get it out of my head. At its core, the movie is a reflection on so many of the ideas shared in this blog:

• The pursuit (or not) of meaningful work.

• How deeply our relationships are woven into the quality of our life.

• The cultural and financial pressures to abandon our dreams.

• The struggle and joy that comes with parenting.

• The impacts (both positively and negatively) our sacrifices make in our journey.

• The haunting power of regret.

• The fleeting nature of time.

• Our inescapable need for meaning and fulfillment.

• The relational and emotional impact of debt and financial tension.

• Our human desire to establish roots.

• The beauty of the simplest and most mundane parts of our lives.

• The humbling reality of our own mortality.

• The miracle of forgiveness and redemption.

• The bonding qualities of sharing a meal together.

• The importance of celebrating major milestones in life.

It was simultaneously the saddest and most joyful thing I've watched in a while. I can't help but reflect on my own journey as a man, a husband, and a father. Life is indeed fleeting, and I ought not waste it.

If you enjoy this blog, I highly recommend you check out this film on Netflix. I can't promise you'll like it, but I can promise it will make you think. I hope you have a wonderful day, filled with beauty in both the big things and the small things.

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It’s Who We Are

Amidst a ridiculously fun text exchange with a business owner friend yesterday, I had a feeling a blog idea was about to emerge. I didn't know what, but I could feel it. Then, it happened. She was talking about how businesses, if equipped with the right type of leaders, ooze generosity in all they do. Why? Because generosity isn't something we do, "it's who we are." Boom!

My friend is so right. Generosity isn't an idea. It's not a well-intended thought. It's not even an action, though it manifests through actions. When done right (sacrificially and joyfully), it's embedded into the core of our being. If that happens, there's no option but for said generosity to ooze out in every area of our lives....including in our businesses.

This post isn't an advocation for businesses to practice generosity, though that's amazing. Rather, it's an advocation for each one of us to allow generosity to seep into our cores and crowd out every selfish, greedy, and self-serving cell from our bodies. That's not entirely possible, of course, but it's directional. Each day, we can become more generous.....or less generous. There is no in-between, no standing still.

We can all gripe about how selfish people are today, making some definitive statement about how the world is continually worsening. Examples are all around us, and it takes very little effort to spot and call out greediness. In fact, if you're looking for it, you'll find 100+ examples today alone.

The same is true the other way around, though. Generosity is all around us. Generous acts, big and small. People overflowing with generosity. Businesses overflowing with generosity. Rich people overflowing with generosity. Poor people overflowing with generosity. Small businesses overflowing with generosity. Big corporations overflowing with generosity.

One common thread runs through all of it: People who have generosity woven into their soul, with no other option other than to let it seep out into every area of their lives. The question today is whether or not I'm one of those people. The question today is whether or not you're one of those people. Has it struck you to the core yet? If so, I'd suggest you let it seep into all you do today.....but you were going to do that anyway. If it hasn't struck you to the core yet, keep searching. Once you find it, you'll never see (or treat) the world the same way again.

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Would You Take Their Advice?

Receiving criticism has become a full-time endeavor for me. I used to hate it, but it's grown on me in the past several years. First, the act of being criticized means you're doing something. It's easy to avoid criticism by simply doing nothing. Second, I've learned that receiving criticism is a natural byproduct of giving opinions, and when you provide opinions publicly (blog, podcast, speaking, etc.), you are sure to receive criticisms publicly.

One of my clients recently started to receive quite a bit of criticism.....I mean a lot! First, it means he is doing something. He's trying to move the needle in an area he strongly believes in. Second, since he's doing said work in the public eye, he will inevitably face public criticism.

During a recent meeting, he asked, "How do you do it? Just take all the criticism that comes your way? Does it make you want to give up?"

That's when I shared with him a golden piece of advice I once received from a 16-year-old youth group kid several years ago. It was a typical night at youth group, and each of us was sharing one highlight and one lowlight from the week ("Wows and Pows"). One of mine was that something I said on Twitter triggered hundreds of angry and hateful comments. I felt down. I felt defeated.

That's when my young friend jumped in. "Would you take their advice?"

"Who?"

"The people who are saying hateful things to you. Would you take advice from them?"

"No, of course not!"

"Well, if you wouldn't take their advice, you can't take their criticism."

Boom! Just like that, this young woman disarmed all my insecurity. She was right. If I wouldn't take advice from the people levying all that criticism on me, why should I care about their negative comments? That paradigm shift has changed everything for me!

If someone criticizes my personal financial decisions or advice, I ask myself if I'd take financial advice from them. Do I want my finances to look more or less like theirs?

If someone criticizes my business decisions, I ask myself if I'd take business advice from them. Do I want my business to look more or less like theirs? Heck, do they even have a business?

If someone criticizes my parenting, I ask myself if I'd take parenting advice from them. Do I want my kids to be more or less like theirs? Often, it's people that don't even have kids!

Some of you need to hear this today. Others may not need it today, but be sure to stick this one in your back pocket; the criticism is coming! Anything worth doing will result in criticism. Buckle up and enjoy the ride!

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Snowballing Behaviors

As I recently discussed HERE and HERE, I've been a big fan of my new walking pad. Practically overnight, I quadrupled the number of steps I get each day (up to nearly 13,000 per day over the past five weeks). In the paradigm of what gets measured gets done, this endeavor has been a massive success.

There's another phenomenon at play here, too. Behaviors often snowball. When we change one behavior, others typically follow. Here's what that looks like in my little walking pad world:

• After enjoying Sarah's walking pad so much, I purchased a second one for my home office (along with a desk to go with it).

• One of my buddies asked if I use a biometric scale to track my body composition. I didn't, but I immediately purchased the scale he recommended. I now collect daily data.

• Since I know I'm collecting daily data, I feel more accountable for the decisions I make throughout my day (including my diet).

• Since I'm trying to make better decisions, I dusted off my home gym and have now gotten back into regular lifting.

All because Sarah purchased a silly little walking pad, and I decided to hop on for a few minutes. Behaviors snowball, and I'm really glad I started gaining momentum on these particular behaviors.

Money is much the same way. My goal isn't to get my clients to adopt dozens of well-planned behaviors. Instead, my focus is to help them create a healthy rhythm with just one or two, then trust the snowballing will happen. Budgeting is a perfect example. Once someone starts budgeting:

• They realize they spend money on things they really don't care about. Thus, spending behaviors change.

• Once they realize they aren't a victim of their finances and can regain control of what happens with their money, they get emboldened to pay off debt. Thus, they 10x their aggression toward getting debt-free.

• Paying off debt shows them they can do anything they put their mind to, including saving. Thus, saving momentum improves.

• Once they realize they can dial up their saving momentum, they start believing they can attain things they value. Thus, they prioritize and give themselves permission to spend on things that add value to their life.

• As they gain more insight into their money behaviors, they notice they aren't giving nearly as much as they would like. Thus, it creates an intentional bend toward generosity.

• As they gain better control and momentum in their finances, they realize they aren't beholden to their jobs. Thus, they give themselves permission to pursue work that matters (if they aren't already in it).

• Once they've fully come to terms with the fact that there is a better way to handle and perceive money than society taught them, they aspire to help their kids do it differently and avoid the painful mistakes they've made. Thus, the next generation is transformed.

All because they decided to work a few small financial habits into their lives. This stuff is powerful. Let your (good) behaviors snowball. It might just change everything.

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Lessons From the Barkley Saga

"Wouldn't it be fun if our baristas could make six figures?"

This was one of the many insane ideas we discussed in the early days of planning Northern Vessel's launch. This counter-cultural idea was founded on a core belief TJ and I shared: Just treat people well. What that meant to us was to continually find ways to align interests, reward performance, incentivize winning behaviors, and create a culture of gratitude. Over the past few years, these driving principles have led to some pretty wild ideas and structures. I've faced much criticism from friends and mentors whenever these ideas arise.

"Why would you give up that much upside?"

"You're hurting yourself."

"That isn't market."

"There's no need to do that."

I never take offense to these comments; I get it! What we do can largely be considered stupid and/or irresponsible. But ultimately, I believe that if you treat people like owners, they will behave like owners—culture matters. When our people win, we win. And when our people win big, we win big. It doesn't have to be a fixed pie. We don't have to live our lives (and our businesses) with a scarcity mindset.

Speaking of, I've been thinking about the whooping the Chiefs received at the hands of the Eagles last night. Wow! Never in a million years did I see that coming. After the game, I was reminded of a seemingly innocent scene from HBO's Hard Knocks last summer. It's a brief phone conversation between Giants GM Joe Schoen and star Giants running back Sequon Barkley.

I'll set the scene. Mr. Schoen doesn't want to proactively offer Barkley a large contract at the risk of overpaying him, so he calls Barkley to let him know that he should "test the market." Translation: We're willing to pay you decent money, but not a penny more than we need to.

Mr. Schoen goes on, "If you really wanna be a Giant for life, and you're interested in staying here and coming back, just see what your market is and then have (your agent) come back to us, and we'll see if we can come to an agreement." Translation: If you're as loyal to us as you say you are, you'll sacrifice some money for the privilege of being here, and accept whatever we eventually offer you.

When I saw that clip, I knew there was zero chance he was going to return to the Giants. They violated the Just Treat People Well principle, and there was no turning back. Trust was broken. Interests were unaligned. He tested the market, as instructed, and eventually signed with the Eagles, where he thought he could help them reach the Super Bowl. Fast forward just a handful of months, and Barkley and the Eagles just became Super Bowl champions.

Most of us probably won't ever be an NFL GM (outside of the latest Madden installment), but this situation proves a valuable lesson. Just treat people well. Others don't have to lose for us to win. Align interests. Live with a culture of gratitude. People matter. Strike that.....people matter more than anything.

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A Knock On the Door

Happy Super Bowl Sunday! While my Bears have only been part of it two times in my 40+ years of life, today is always one of my favorite days of the year. There's something special about the energy of Super Bowl Sunday.

It's so easy to look at these grown men and think to ourselves, "They're just doing it for the money." Sure, the money is ridiculous. These athletes make more money in a single year than many people will make over their entire careers. But ultimately, I sincerely don't believe it's about the money. The money is a nice (very nice!) perk, but it's about something so much bigger, and Super Bowl Sunday is one of those days where it shines through so clearly. The euphoria of victory and the agony of defeat. You can't tell me meaning isn't at play.

On a related note, I'm obsessed with the knock on the door. Oh, you don't know about the door knocking?!?! Check out this VIDEO. Each year, when it's time to announce the inductees to the NFL Hall of Fame, Hall of Fame CEO David Baker knocks on the door of each recipient to personally welcome them into the HOF family. These videos choke me up every single time. The video I linked above is a compilation of door knocks, and it makes me melt every time. It's worth four minutes of your day!

There's nothing like seeing grown men who have achieved fame and fortune beyond anything they probably ever dreamed turn into a puddle at the sound of a simple knock. Pure joy. Pure satisfaction. Pure meaning.

Money can buy so much in life, but it can't buy meaning. It can't satiate us. It can't fill our tanks. It can buy almost anything, but it can't buy the few things we crave the most. So while I'm enjoying the game tonight, watching these players give everything they have, while also thinking about David Baker's door knocks, it will be yet another reminder that meaning always transcends money.

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What’s the Worst That Could Happen?

One of my friends has a unique business idea. Another friend is interested in starting a non-profit. A third friend wants to write a book. A fourth desires to publish music. All four are stuck, paralyzed with fear. Fear of what? Failure. All four are scared of falling flat on their face, getting embarrassed, or feeling like losers. Thus, there's a very real chance they perpetually hold onto their ideas and eventually take them to their graves.

Here's a question I posed to each of them: "What's the worst that could happen?" You know, the absolute worst-case, total destruction, end-of-the-world scenario. Dream big, but in the form of nightmares. Visualize how terrible and life-ending these what-if situations could be.

All four disappointed me. When pressed to provide the most atrocious endings possible, all they could muster was some version of "My pride would be hurt, and I'd have to do something different."

In actuality, there's no real long-lasting consequence for failure other than ego, pride, and self-esteem. If that's true, why not just go for it? Why carry the regret of not doing something if there's so little downside? Why throw away the possibility of something great simply because there's a chance for something marginally bad to happen?

I come from the world of risk and reward. Understanding what could happen if things go right or when things go wrong, then making the best go/no-go decision with the information available. When it comes to our dreams, we're so quick to throw away the proverbial million-dollar reward because we're scared of the hundred-dollar risk.

So what if my friend's business fails. At least he'll know he gave it his best shot.

So what if my friend's non-profit doesn't survive. At least he'll have made an impact on people's lives.

So what if my friend's book sucks. At least she'll have worked through the process, possibly preparing her for the next opportunity.

So what if nobody listens to my friend's music. At least he will know he created something nobody can ever take away.

The upside in each of these is so high, but the downside so limited.

I know I'm going to fail at many things this year, some of them publicly. It will be embarrassing. It will bruise my ego. It will damage my pride. It might even cost me some money. But at least I'll know. At least I'll go to bed at night knowing I gave it my best shot. The worst-case scenarios are pretty lame. But the upside? Oh, the upside is so freaking cool!

If you're ever in doubt, play out the worst-case scenario. Dream big, but in nightmares. Challenge yourself to pinpoint just how bad it could get. My guess is it's not nearly as bad as you think, and if so, why not just go for it?

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(Unknowingly) Walking Into the Abyss

"How do people afford houses in this crazy market? Do this many people really make that much money?" This is a question I received from a friend last night, courtesy of her mom, Leslie. Thanks, Leslie, for this fantastic topic!

In short, people can't afford them, and no, they don't make that much money. Some can, and some do, but not most. In my work with hundreds of families and watching the data closely, a few other factors are at play.

First, I'll start with what a healthy home ownership situation looks like. Ideally, a family's house payment would cost less than 25% of their take-home income. When that happens, there's enough margin to pay for needs, enjoy some wants, give, save, and invest for the future. There's a balance in the force.

However, with the combination of higher interest rates and increased prices, today's housing market has posed a different dynamic for families. Instead of house payments absorbing 25% of take-home incomes, people are commonly buying houses with corresponding payments at 40%-60% of their take-home income.

When this happens, something has to give. Families aren't going to stop eating food. And they aren't going to completely stop buying wants. Typically, giving is the first thing to go. Sorry, gotta take care of me first! Next, retirement investing gets kicked down the road. After all, retirement isn't for a looooong time....it will have to wait. Then finally, saving gets pulled back. We'll address those future needs when the time comes.

This approach works.....for a while. Eventually, though, other things pop up. The car has issues. The kid breaks an arm. The A/C blows up. The dog eats a screwdriver. But there's not much margin in the budget and little-to-no savings for these types of situations. Out comes the credit card. Then it happens again a few months later. Then again in six months. Every so often, the credit card absorbs the extra costs. Then it's time to buy a new vehicle and there's no money saved. A new car payment!

But people can't just perpetually use debt to keep the train on the tracks, right? Well, yes and no. Eventually, the credit cards feel too heavy. That's when a little psychological hack comes into play. We'll get a HELOC on our house to "pay off the debt." The credit card debt has been shifted to the HELOC, which allows us to start using the cards again. And the cycle slowly repeats for decades.

There's no such thing as a free lunch, though. This is where it gets scary. Without knowing it, people are walking into the financial abyss. Baby Boomers and the Silent Generation grew up in an era with retirement pensions. Most knew a reliable retirement income would await them at a certain point in life. This system has drastically shifted, beginning with Gen X. Traditional pensions are much rarer, and most of us are now responsible for funding our own retirement.

As such, millions of Americans are walking into the abyss as we speak. They are busy living their lives, enjoying their lifestyles, and slowly building debt while not building retirement investments, not knowing the future looks very murky. They've already lost, but won't realize it until it's too late.

If I'm honest, these are the saddest situations to be invited into. There's nothing harder to watch than a couple realizing they have unknowingly walked into the abyss all these years, only to just now see the consequences of their unintended reality.

Does this resonate with you? If so, perhaps it's time to shift gears.....fast! Give a gift to your future self; you don't have to walk into the abyss.

To be continued....

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Changing the World By Changing Yours

I just received the best news! An old friend, someone I haven't talked to in several years, contacted me to share a life update. He said that after three years of blood, sweat, and tears, he and his wife paid off their $125,000 of consumer debt (student loans and credit cards). Whoa!

When I asked him how that happened, his answer shocked me. "Remember that one time we were having drinks at _____? Someone asked you about paying off all your debt. I thought to myself, if you could do it, so could I. So I did."

If I could do it, so could he! Yes! I couldn't love that more. This debt had haunted him for nearly two decades.....until that day three years ago when he decided enough was enough. Then, he changed his life forever.

Here's the opportunity on the table for you today. You have an opportunity to change the world by changing yours. Without even knowing, my actions to change my own family's world eventually inspired this other family to change theirs.

People are watching. People see things. They might not listen to your advice, but they can't ignore the fruit of your actions. When you make good decisions (financial or otherwise), and your life improves, it's impossible not to see. This happens with my clients all the time. Their lives start to shift, they live with more freedom and meaning, people around them notice, and a new wave of inspiration strikes and new group of people.

If you want to help others, lead by example. If you want to inspire generosity, practice generosity. If you want to inspire debt-free living, become and stay debt-free. If you want to inspire work that matters, aggressively pursue work that matters.

Whether you see it or not, people are watching. And whether you realize it or not, your actions are moving the needle in other people's lives, for better or worse. What a fun and intense opportunity.....and responsibility.

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Boy, That Escalated Quickly!

In the words of Ron Burgundy, "Boy, that escalated quickly!" Yesterday was one of those days. You know what I'm talking about. The kind of day where you planned one thing, but something totally different happened. The kind of day where everything that could go wrong does go wrong. The kind of day that every time you solve one problem, another replaces it like some twisted game of whack-a-mole. The kind of day where you have problems in areas you didn't even know you had problems. You know, that kind of day!

I typically feel like my work is a juggling act of six distinct endeavors. Each one of them posed its own issues yesterday. It was a tremendously hard day. It wasn't fun at all. I felt like I got chewed up and spit back out. But it sure was rewarding.

This is what often confuses people when I talk about pursuing work that matters. The mere idea of "work that matters" instantly triggers thoughts of rainbows and sunshine. Whenever work is spoken about through the lens of meaning, it conjures up assumptions that it's fun, enjoyable, simple, or easy. The truth is, this couldn't be further from the truth. Pursuing work that matters doesn't mean we're trying to find any of those things.

Meaningful work isn't that. It can be....sometimes....on good days.....well, part of those good days. But at the heart, that's not what it's about. Pursuing work that matters means we're doing something that provides meaning, fulfillment, and purpose to our lives, all while adding value to others, regardless of how fun it is or isn't.

Fun is fleeting. Easy is empty calories. Those aren't the ingredients to work that matters. What's most imporant is the meaning component. Unlike fun and ease, meaning satiates. So while I was completely gassed last night, feeling like I got run over by a snow plow, I was fulfilled, satisfied, and content. Yesterday was exactly what it needed to be, and it turns out, yesterday needed to be anything but fun.

I love what I do more than anything in the world, but not because it's fun. I regularly find myself engaging in the most gut-wrenching conversations of my life, encountering problems I never know if I have the stomach to deal with, all while sabotaging my former life's pursuit of comfort and material wealth. Sarah and I were just talking recently about how much harder life is now than it was six years ago before I left my safe, lucrative, and cushy career. We laughed for a moment, then sighed, before simultaneously acknowledging we wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Another reminder that we've found it......work that matters.

I hope you have a meaningful day today. Not a fun day, a meaningful day. Well, I hope you find some fun along the way as well. We all need a little fun!

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Solving Problems With Problems

One of my friends asked to meet with me. He wanted to get a second opinion about something financial-related. Here's the situation. For the first time in nearly 15 years, his wife's car was paid off. They owned it free and clear and finally got on the other side of the monthly payment cycle now that their $500/month payment is no longer. That's great news! HOWEVER, they have a problem. In the past few months, his wife's car had to be taken into the shop twice. The total cost? $700.

Here was his question to me: "Would it be a good idea to get her a new vehicle?"

"Absolutely not!" I responded.

"Why not? You think we should just keep dumping money into this vehicle?"

"Dumping money? Paying $700 to get your car fixed is $300 less than you would have spent on car payments over the last few months."

"Well, we already bought her a new vehicle. It will definitely be more reliable."

"..........."

Turn out, he didn't want my guidance.....he wanted me to affirm the decision they had already made. In short, freaked out by two vehicle repairs totaling $700, they quickly decided to "fix" the problem by buying a brand-new vehicle. The kicker? Their new payment is $900 per month.

Please allow me to summarize. This family finally gets free from their $500/month car payment cycle, experiences $700 of maintenance expenses, and in their attempt to lower their costs, commit themselves to $900/month for the next 72 months. On top of that, due to their increased financial commitments, they decided his wife needs to go from part-time to full-time at her job. Further, they wonder if they should forego their annual summer vacation to cut costs.

If this sounds crazy to you, good. If this sounds far-fetched to you, you'd be mistaken. This is a very typical sequence of events in our modern culture. My friend isn't alone....far from it. In fact, many people's immediate reaction to this post will be to side with the husband. "He's just making sure his family is safe." "They'll save money in the long run." "They didn't have a choice."

They did solve the small reliability problem, but at what cost? They've largely prevented ongoing vehicle maintenance costs; all they had to give up was their freedom and memories. I'm all for solving problems, but not when it creates bigger problems.

I have maximum empathy for this family. I love them. I care for them. I desire for them to have better. I shared some insights and ideas, and in turn, they said I should share this story on the blog. Tomorrow's post will dive deeper into one of my ideas.

I hope you solve some of your problems this week, but along the way, be sure not to create newer, bigger problems in the process.

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Running Away or Running Toward

I was already contemplating a specific follow-up to my recent post titled Bummer. I still had more to say about this topic, and wanted to make one very clear point. However, my friend Mertz beat me to the punch. He immediately sent me a thoughtful response and asked the very profound question I was hoping to address: Is it possible to like/love your job and still celebrate Fridays?

To summarize, statistics (and my own experience) show that 7 out of 10 Americans dislike or hate their job. A never-ending state that's straddled somewhere between tolerance and misery. My general point is that we should create a life for ourselves that doesn't require us to celebrate Fridays and dread Mondays.

But what about Mertz's question? Can't we have both? Can't we like/love our work and still celebrate Fridays? I couldn't love this question more! For me, I think it comes down to the answer to the next question: Are you running away or running toward?

In other words, do we celebrate Fridays because we're trying to find reprieve from the misery, or do we celebrate Fridays because we're excited for what's to come? It may seem like splitting hairs, but I think it's a cavernous divide.

There's another way to look at it, which was also echoed by Mertz. Perhaps the weekends can be a celebration of a hard week's work well done. Perhaps the weekend is a time to temporarily step away, recharge, and get our head back in the game the following week. Mertz is right....he's so right! One of the reasons I know he's right is that he finds meaning in his work. He's not running away from anything. Sure, his work can be challenging, stressful, and trying......all work has components of this. But when push comes to shove, Mertz pursues work that matters.

I also know he's right because I know what his weekends look like. His weekends are loaded with quality family time, adventures, and dutiful, joyful service at his church. His weekends are valuable to him; not as an escape, but as another meaningful part of a meaningful life.

Here's my last observation about Mertz. I know weekday Mertz, and I know weekend Mertz. It's the same guy. He carries himself with the same energy, generosity, and thoughtfulness whether I see him in the thick of his stressful week or at a casual family event at church. He's the same, and that's a tell!

I do think we should get excited for weekends. I think weekends should be a wonderful time to relax, recharge, spend time with those we love, go on adventures, and prepare for the challenges ahead. I believe all of that. But I also believe it should be through the lens of running toward something, not running away. Through the lens of meaning over money, I believe a meaningful life should be comprised of seven days per week, not just two.

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Bing!

Happy Groundhog Day to those who celebrate! What are your favorite Groundhog Day movies? For me, it's probably Groundhog Day....or maybe Groundhog Day. I saw on Facebook last night that my friend Ryan was watching it. On one hand, that's awesome. On the other hand, it's a bit of a party foul to watch it on Groundhog Day Eve. To me, that feels like unloading the Christmas tree and thrashing open all the gifts on Christmas Eve. Oh well, I digress.

Groundhog Day has been and will forever be one of my favorite movies. If you haven't seen it (which is a shame), I'll summarize. Bill Murray, a semi-famous meteorologist from Pittsburgh, begrudgingly travels to nearby Punxsutawney to cover the annual Groundhog Day celebration.

For unknown reasons, Bill Murray gets caught in a time loop where he lives the same day over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over. It's as depressing as it is ridiculous, as thought-provoking as it is hilarious. Underneath its comedic facade is a deeply meaningful movie, filled with wisdom and virtue.

Here's the question I always ask myself while enjoying this film. Is it enough to do the right thing? On a basic level, we know right and wrong. We understand how we should handle ourselves and how we shouldn't. If that's true, is it enough to simply put ourselves through the paces of doing it "the right way?"

As you can imagine, I have an opinion. I tend to believe simply doing the right thing isn't enough. I think it goes deeper than that. I think intent plays a big role in all this, which is woven into the fabric of this film. I call it doing the right things for the right reasons.

It's one thing to do the right thing, but it's an entirely different beast when we're doing the right thing for the right reasons. A sincerity, if you will. A spirit of openhandedness. A posture of generosity. Doing the right thing without any expectations in return.

Oftentimes, we do the right thing if/when it serves our own purposes or self-interest. But what happens when the right thing doesn't benefit us......or even hurts us?

What if doing the right thing means sacrificing ourselves for the betterment of others?

What if doing the right thing means taking a harder path when it means we can make someone else's path easier?

What if doing the right thing means caring so deeply about the intent of the action, knowing well the outcome is very much uncertain?

What if doing the right thing means foregoing more money and a higher standard of living so we can live out a more specific call in our life?

I'm not sure my little rant made total sense, but perhaps it will give you something to think about before or after you watch the film. Not during, though. During the movie, I hope you enjoy it as thoroughly as I will. Oh yeah, and one more thing: Bing!

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Bummer

"Happy Friday!"

"At least it's Friday!"

"Happy Friday!"

"The week is almost over!"

"Thank God it's Friday!"

"I'm so ready for the weekend to get here!"

The six quotes above are from six different interactions I had yesterday. Each of these people were yearning for the end of the work week and desperate to get to the weekend. Can you relate? Would you say something like this? Most would. Wanna know what all six of these individuals have in common? None of them love their work.

In a society where 7 out of 10 Americans dislike or hate their job, statements like those above are the norm. They are to be expected. They are almost as ubiquitous as "How are you?" or "Good morning." We're expected to celebrate Fridays.

I used to celebrate Fridays.....a lot! I couldn't wait for them to get here. I needed a reprieve. I needed an escape. I desperately craved something else......anything else.

Around noon yesterday, it dawned on me that the week was coming to an end. I only had one thought: "Bummer." I had been sick earlier in the week, so it felt like I was just hitting my groove. I was working on some extraordinarily challenging projects that were pushing me to grossly uncomfortable places. I was stressed and frustrated, yet fulfilled. I learned things I never knew I'd learn, and addressed problems I didn't know needed addressing.

I could work 6-7 days per week if it weren't for this whole balance thing. My wife and kids need me to be a husband and a father, so it's imperative I create healthy boundaries. I think that's what makes fulfilling work so compelling. In a society that demonizes work and glorifies Fridays, it's odd to live in a reality where you must create structure to prevent yourself from overdoing work.

I'm not the only one facing this. There's an army of people who love their work. It's an unfortunate minority, but an army nonetheless. Work that matters matters.

Have you ever seen those videos where someone puts in hearing aids and experiences the sense of hearing for the first time. Often, they break down in tears, overwhelmed by a reality they never knew existed. Work that matters is much the same way. You don't understand that reality until the moment you feel it for the first time, and just like the people who use hearing aids for the first time, it can be immensely overwhelming.

This isn't me bragging. This is me inviting. I dream of a world where people are just as happy to go to work as they are to go home. A world where Mondays are just as exciting as Fridays. A world where instead of bouncing from awesome to dread to awesome to dread, people bounce from awesome to awesome to awesome to awesome.

If you know exactly what I'm talking about, keep living it out. Your example matters. Your testimony moves the needle. Others will follow.....eventually.....I hope.

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When Your Priorities (Drastically) Change

I was recently scheduled to meet with a client. It was a meeting I had excitedly anticipated for weeks. We had a lot to discuss, with very specific (and big) priorities. I spent much time preparing for the conversation that would likely help them shift the trajectory of their financial life in an awesome and life-altering way.

However, just 30 seconds into the meeting, they dropped a bomb on me. They had just experienced a major life event that will forever change their lives. Major life events come in many shapes and sizes, from the best of the best to the worst of the worst, and everything in between. The types of life changes that impact literally every aspect of our being. The bomb hit hard, and it changed everything.

I took about ten seconds to regroup, then quickly modified the meeting's agenda. Priorities needed to be shifted because, well, priorities were shifting. Everything I had in store for them suddenly seemed meaningless. What seemed like the world's most crucial topic yesterday now felt minuscule and insignificant.

The couple was frustrated. After much hard work, discipline, and consistency, they were excited for this next chapter. Now, after an unexpected turn of events, they quickly realized their reality had shifted.

We spent the following ten minutes processing these feelings. Ultimately, I explained, this is how life works. It's never linear. It rarely goes how we anticipate. Our best-laid plans can go poof at a moment's notice. This isn't proof that their good work is meaningless.....far from it! Rather, it's evidence and affirmation of why they put in the hard work in the first place. Being in their current strong position, which didn't happen by accident, will allow them to absorb the impact of this newfound reality.

Though it's perfectly normal (even healthy) to set a clear path with an identified destination, we must expect life to slow us down, knock us off course, or even alter our plans. It's ok to adjust. Just because we thought we would accomplish xyz last month, it doesn't mean we are failures if new circumstances or altered realities shift the plan.

When reality changes, change with it. When priorities must change, change them. Don't view it through the lens of failure; view it through the lens of life. When we expect life to happen, it's never a surprise when life happens. After all, that's part of the adventure!

I hope your day is smooth and awesome, but if for some reason life slows you down, knocks you off course, or alters your plans, shift with it. That's not a loss, just a different kind of win!

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Today is the Youngest Day of Your Life

I had the privilege of speaking to a youth group last night, and not just any youth group. It's the same youth group I participated in as a leader for ten years. I was invited to speak on the topic of integrating our faith with our finances. Overall, it went fantastic. The kids were engaged, interactive, showed me lots of love, and even laughed at my dumb jokes (pity laughs still count!).

We call this the “Junkyard pose.”

We covered topics including the behavioral science of money and happiness, the importance of being a good steward, avoiding debt, and finding a healthy balance between spending, saving, and giving. I hope it moved the needle. I hope someone's life was impacted by my talk. I hope a trajectory will be altered in some way. I hope my heart and insight landed well. I may never know for sure, but I'll trust....and have faith.

One of the adult leaders approached me afterward and said the magical line I hear more than any other: "I wish someone would have taught me this when I was 16. It would have saved me a lot of mistakes and regrets." Oh, so true! I wish I had that as well!

I have a bit of a bad news, good news situation. If you're 45 years old, I can't dump you into a DeLorean, speed up to 88 MPH, and take you back to your teenage years. It's too late. I can't go back, and you can't go back. We are where we are. Our past is our past, our mistakes are our mistakes, and our regrets are our regrets.

Now, it's time for the good news. Today is the youngest day of your life. You'll never be this young again. It's the youngest you'll ever be. Therefore, perhaps today is the day you make some changes. Pay off debt. Get on a budget. Start giving generously. Transition to the work you're called to. Start investing. Build an emergency fund. Save for that dream trip.

Here's what I don't want for you. I don't want the 85-year-old version of you to say, "I wish I would have done ____ when I was 45. I was so young then."

No, you might not be 16 anymore. Or 25. Or 30. But you are where you are, and it's the youngest you'll ever be. If that's true, you might as well get started now.

Happy youngest day of your life. Let's get started!

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Tell the Others

My social media feed was inundated with "support xyz business" posts all day today. I'm starting to believe the algorithm is just trolling me at this point. Oh well, I suppose it provides great content ideas.

Regular readers probably know that I despise the idea of "supporting" businesses, as if they are some form of non-profit charity that can only survive if we treat them with pity and use our own self-directed guilt to give them money.

Today, I want to explore one of the actually beneficial alternatives to "supporting" businesses. Let's call it "tell the others." First, if a business in your life consistently adds value to your journey and repeatedly earns the right to serve you again, allow them to serve you again. Allow them the opportunity to earn that right, then reward them with the opportunity to earn it again.

It's like my friend Teresa at West Forty Market, a local meat market. Teresa doesn't ask me to support her business. Instead, she simply serves me with excellence and earns the right to do it again. She always delivers. I could probably get better prices at Target or Costco, but what Teresa offers is more valuable than what I could get from the big box stores. The product quality is phenomenal. It's always a great experience. Teresa is extremely knowledgeable and answers all my questions. She treats people with genuine hospitality. I always walk out satisfied and grateful I decided to visit. Teresa has earned the right to serve me, and continues to re-earn the right each time I visit. That's what business is all about.

Once that piece is locked in, the "tell the others" component comes into play. It's simple. If a business has continued to earn and re-earn the right to serve you with excellence, it's an act of generosity to share said excellence with people around us. Why would I want to keep such a beautiful thing a secret? The people I care about deserve to be served as well as I do. Thus, I tell the others.

Teresa at West Forty Market is a great example. I just told 1,000+ people about her. That's an act of generosity, but not generosity to Teresa. It's an act of generosity to the people I’m telling. The people I care about deserve to be served as well as I do. They deserve a little meat market that serves a top-notch product, with a great experience, by someone who will treat them with hospitality. You deserve that.

What Teresa gets out of it isn't "support." Rather, she might earn the right to serve some new faces with excellence. And if she does, she might earn the right to do it again. And if she does, they, too, may tell the others....and the cycle repeats. That's how real businesses are built.

Whatever amazing businesses in your life have earned and re-earned the right to serve you, tell the others. Share the good news. It's an act of generosity. Not generosity to the business, but to the people who deserve that type of excellence in their lives as well.

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Death, Taxes, and Jealousy

In yesterday's post, I talked about the prevalence and destruction of jealousy in our lives. If you have a pulse, you're either the culprit or victim of jealousy.....or both. I didn't offer any tangible takeaways in yesterday's post, partly due to my self-imposed word count limit (which I already breached the way it was) and partly because I didn't yet know where I wanted to take it.

I'm going to start with a little life hack. I can tell you with 100% certainty how to prevent people from acting like a jealous jerk around you. Ready for it? Don't do anything. Don't grow. Don't build. Don't progress. Don't thrive. Don't be productive. Staying where you are is a surefire way to prevent the jealousy bug from biting your friends, family, and co-workers.

In the absence of my brilliant little life hack, jealousy is inevitable. It's inevitable because jealousy rears its ugly head when, and only when, you surpass someone in a particular area. The woman in yesterday's post was a perfect example. She was the darling in other people's lives. They rooted for her. They encouraged her. They cheered her on. Then, she unexpectedly surpassed them. More money. More notoriety. More status. The moment she passed them, the jealousy bug bit.

Here's another sad reality. It doesn't matter how humble you are or how well you carry yourself; you cannot control the jealousy seeded in others. It is what it is, and that's what it is. If that's true, you have just one job: keep growing.

• Get out of debt.

• Improve your craft.

• Get more intentional with your finances.

• Build more stability.

• Invest in relationships.

• Pour out generosity.

• Start that new endeavor.

• Put your art into the world.

Do it all, but do it all with a posture of humility. Be above reproach in your behavior and attitude. Give people no reason to be jealous, knowing they will be anyway.

What about your own jealousy bug, though? Yeah, this part is tough. It's all fun and games when we want people to stop being jealous of us, but what should we think when someone else surpasses us? Well, we can definitely choose jealousy.....everyone else does, after all.

If I do my financial coaching job right, some of my clients will far surpass me. That's happened many times. Due to their circumstances, age, and trajectory, if they implement my ideas well, they will absolutely crush what I've accomplished. So what happens when I get a front-row seat to someone surpassing me? I feel nothing but joy for them. Why? The answer is my parting thought for the day.

Life is not a zero-sum game. Someone else winning does not mean that I'm losing. It doesn't have to be about winners and losers. Everyone can win. My friends, family, neighbors, and co-workers having good fortune or blessing in their lives does not negatively impact my life one bit. Therefore, there's no rational or loving feeling other than joy.

Feel joy for them. Take care of your own business. Repeat.

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J Is For Jealousy

Just a handful of years ago, the Kansas City Chiefs were the darlings of the NFL. Their young upstart quarterback, Patrick Mahomes, was as charismatic as he was gifted. Their head coach, Andy Reid, was generally beloved in all areas of football. He was known as one of the best all-time coaches who hadn't won the big one. For a hot minute, the Chiefs became America's team. You couldn't go anywhere in the country without seeing Chiefs gear. Their newfound fandom knew no bounds.

Then, something happened. They found success.....a lot of it. Three Super Bowl Championships and seven AFC Title Game appearances later, the Chiefs have become arguably the most hated team in the history of football. Hating the Chiefs has practically become its own religion.

Why? Patrick Mahomes is just as gifted and charismatic as ever. Andy Reid is just as lovable as ever. Yet, they've gone from darling to despised in just a handful of years. Why? I'll give you a hint: It starts with the letter J. That's right, jealousy. In sports, people love underdogs. They love watching the new, unexpected talent rise above adversity and be crowned with glory. Then, once that person has been placed on the golden pedestal, the masses will work just as hard to tear them down. It's the circle of life in sports.

Except it's not just sports. This phenomenon happens in literally every aspect of life. We watch it play out with musicians, actors, social media influencers, and politicians. You know who else this happens to? Your friends, co-workers, neighbors, family, and, unfortunately, you.

It's a story as old as time, and for better or worse, I have a front-row seat to watch it play out over, and over, and over. I'll share one example. One of my clients made the difficult choice to leave her long-time job to start her own business.Knowing how unhappy she was in her prior work, her friends and family cheered her on to start something new. Her idea was cute and creative. At best, she would eke out a moderate financial existence and find meaning in this new endeavor. To their credit, people around her rallied to advocate, refer, and recommend her business. She was the underdog. She was the little guy. She was the darling.

Then, something happened. She became wildly successful. She earned notoriety, attention, and revenue. She maintained her humility throughout this process. However, instead of everyone around her being a source of encouragement, it took a sharp and dark turn. She'd hear things like:

• "It must be nice to be you."

• "You wouldn't be here without me, you know."

• "Not everyone can just quit and start something new."

• "You just got lucky."

• "You think you're better than everyone else."

This culminated in a recent coaching session when she said, "You're the only person I can share wins with and know you're genuinely happy for me." How sad is that?

The jealousy bug is a dangerous thing. We're just as likely to get bit by it as we fall victim to it. It's dangerous. It's destructure. It pollutes relationships. When have you been bitten by it? When have you fallen victim to it? Please ponder these questions today, and we'll continue the conversation tomorrow. Have a great day!

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When Taylor Swift Gives You That Look

I recently ran into one of my former youth group kids. I haven't seen him in a few years, so it was fun to catch up. When I asked him what he's doing for work, his face changed. He shared about a job that seemed uncharacteristic for who I know him to be and for what he dreamed of doing. "That's cool, but what about your dream to _______?" He sighed. Here's what he said. After having enough people tell him his dream was foolish, stupid, and unrealistic, he decided to "get a real job." I could see the frustration in his eyes.

This is the type of rhetoric and narrative that leads us to a point in society where 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs. 7 out of 10 of us are living with some form of misery in our work. And then, with the best intentions, we say things and do things to separate people from their dreams, resulting in them following in our footsteps of pursuing work they will likely hate. Thus, the cycle continues.

I know someone else who is foolish, stupid, and unrealistic. His name is Cole, and he's my Meaning Over Money partner. I've talked about Cole countless times on this blog, so this story might not be new to you. After Cole graduated from college, he, too, initially conceded that a "real job" needed to replace any dreams that lived within him. Then, after just a handful of weeks at said real job, he impulsively quit and recklessly started pursuing his dream. It was a mess, but it was his mess.

Last Sunday, I texted Cole and asked if he'd have time to edit the following week's podcast episodes:

"No."

"Why not? What do you have going on?"

"I'm at Arrowhead today."

"Ohhhh. Taylor Swift duty?"

"Yep."

A few hours later, he sent me this video:

You might have seen it if you were tuned into the ESPN pre-game show. It was a short clip of Taylor Swift walking through the underbelly of Arrowhead Stadium, preparing to watch Travis Kelce suit up for a chance to go to the AFC Championship Game. Cole shot that for ESPN. Watch as she turns the corner and looks back at him. That look!

I don't think Cole is all that special. He's not extraordinarily brilliant, though he’s sharp. He doesn't stand above the crowd, though he’s talented. He doesn't have some special privilege or access that's unavailable to the rest of us. I do think three things set him apart from most people, though. Again, these three traits aren't special, but the presence of these traits can create something special:

• He believes in himself and his calling.

• He values meaning more than anything.

• He doesn't care what others think.

All three of those traits are available to each of us. So, while Cole isn't special, the path he chooses is. It's the path of the 30%. The path toward meaning over money. The pursuit of work that matters.

Our mission isn't to follow in Cole's footsteps. Our mission is to follow the steps we're each meant to follow.

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