J Is For Jealousy
Just a handful of years ago, the Kansas City Chiefs were the darlings of the NFL. Their young upstart quarterback, Patrick Mahomes, was as charismatic as he was gifted. Their head coach, Andy Reid, was generally beloved in all areas of football. He was known as one of the best all-time coaches who hadn't won the big one. For a hot minute, the Chiefs became America's team. You couldn't go anywhere in the country without seeing Chiefs gear. Their newfound fandom knew no bounds.
Then, something happened. They found success.....a lot of it. Three Super Bowl Championships and seven AFC Title Game appearances later, the Chiefs have become arguably the most hated team in the history of football. Hating the Chiefs has practically become its own religion.
Why? Patrick Mahomes is just as gifted and charismatic as ever. Andy Reid is just as lovable as ever. Yet, they've gone from darling to despised in just a handful of years. Why? I'll give you a hint: It starts with the letter J. That's right, jealousy. In sports, people love underdogs. They love watching the new, unexpected talent rise above adversity and be crowned with glory. Then, once that person has been placed on the golden pedestal, the masses will work just as hard to tear them down. It's the circle of life in sports.
Except it's not just sports. This phenomenon happens in literally every aspect of life. We watch it play out with musicians, actors, social media influencers, and politicians. You know who else this happens to? Your friends, co-workers, neighbors, family, and, unfortunately, you.
It's a story as old as time, and for better or worse, I have a front-row seat to watch it play out over, and over, and over. I'll share one example. One of my clients made the difficult choice to leave her long-time job to start her own business.Knowing how unhappy she was in her prior work, her friends and family cheered her on to start something new. Her idea was cute and creative. At best, she would eke out a moderate financial existence and find meaning in this new endeavor. To their credit, people around her rallied to advocate, refer, and recommend her business. She was the underdog. She was the little guy. She was the darling.
Then, something happened. She became wildly successful. She earned notoriety, attention, and revenue. She maintained her humility throughout this process. However, instead of everyone around her being a source of encouragement, it took a sharp and dark turn. She'd hear things like:
"It must be nice to be you."
"You wouldn't be here without me, you know."
"Not everyone can just quit and start something new."
"You just got lucky."
"You think you're better than everyone else."
This culminated in a recent coaching session when she said, "You're the only person I can share wins with and know you're genuinely happy for me." How sad is that?
The jealousy bug is a dangerous thing. We're just as likely to get bit by it as we fall victim to it. It's dangerous. It's destructure. It pollutes relationships. When have you been bitten by it? When have you fallen victim to it? Please ponder these questions today, and we'll continue the conversation tomorrow. Have a great day!
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