Don’t Stop Celebrating

Speaking of cars running into coffee shops, yesterday's post instantly took me back to the hours and days immediately following the second car crash incident in May. There were so many emotions flowing through me during that time. On the one hand, I was celebrating how amazing Northern Vessel was doing, but on the other hand, mourning the crash. On the one hand, I was excited to be showing my kids around the great city of Chicago, but on the other, stressed out of my mind by all that was happening.

In the midst of that, I wrote a piece titled Can't Have the Good Without the Bad. It was a cathartic piece about pain, survival, and perseverance. More than anything, it was my attempt to process the myriad of emotions I was experiencing.

Later that day, I received an encouraging text from my friend John, offering his support, love, and encouragement. He ended his text with this: "P.S. - and in the midst of all of this at the coffee shop, don't let this bump in the road keep you from celebrating and retelling your memories and stories from Chicago specifically today, tomorrow, this coming next week. Lean into that and intentionally continue the Chicago memory building this coming week."

The truth is, I did let the crash keep me from celebrating and retelling my memories from that Chicago week. Shame on me! I've thought a lot about that text and ultimately landed here: better late than never!

So today, my friends, I want to share a quick story. I had the honor of taking my boys to their first-ever Chicago Cubs game at Wrigley Field. They are the same age I experienced my first Cubs game (and I'd go on to visit Wrigley Field at least once per year for the next 23 years). I even booked tickets in the same general area where we sat during my first Cubs experience way back in the late '80s. As we were casually shopping for souvenirs, one particular item caught Pax's attention. It was a little wooden bat, painted in a glossy Cubby blue. He instantly fell in love. After we pulled the trigger and were walking into the stadium with new bat in hand, I revealed to him that my souvenir for my first Cubs game was a little blue wooden bat!

Everything about that night was magical. I really can't even explain how much fun all four of us had. To top it off, we got to experience extra innings under the stars. As the Cubs stepped to the plate in the bottom of the 10th inning, my gut told me to pull out my camera to record. I'm usually the guy who would much rather soak in the moment than pull the camera out, but this one felt different. In hindsight, I'm so glad I did. I'll never forget this moment, and it's fun I get to show it to you today. Enjoy!

Oh yeah, don't stop celebrating. In the midst of all the bumps in the road, don't forget to celebrate. Wise words from John. Thank you, John!

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No Such Thing As Normal

Today is a special day—happy one-year anniversary to the first car that ran into our Northern Vessel coffee shop! If you think my use of the word "first" implies there might be multiple, you'd be correct. Here's what happened:

• On the afternoon of Saturday, August 12th of last year, toward the end of a busy day at the shop, a car plowed through our front window. Four people were nearly killed, including two of our full-time employees. Luckily, the injuries weren't severe. We shut down for three days to clean up the blood, glass, and wreckage before re-opening a severely-impaired shop.

• For multiple reasons, it took more than seven months to repair the damage and bring a fully operational shop back to life. We were beyond excited when that happened on March 24th of this year, and we were grateful to be back to "normal."

• Then, I'll never forget the pit-of-my-stomach feeling I experienced on the morning of May 22nd. I was in the middle of an awesome post-school family vacation in Chicago when I woke up to a text from TJ I prayed I would never see again: "A car ran into the building." And just like that, our lives were turned upside down again. We closed for three days in total before re-opening our again impaired shop.

First crash

Second Crash

As I sit here on the one-year anniversary of the first car crash, we still don't have a fully operational shop. We're getting close. Our front door was installed a few days ago, which really opens up the space. However, we still have a lot of interior work to complete. We'll hopefully be back to "normal" by early September.

To put it another way, our shop has only been "normal" for 59 out of the last 365 days—March 24th until May 22nd. The other 306 days have ranged from chaotic to improvised to compromised.

But that's the thing about "normal." I'd argue that "normal" doesn't really exist outside the perfect little scenario we construct in our imagination. Whether we like it or not, reality is anything but that stable and uneventful concept of "normal" in our brains.

While it's quite abnormal to have two cars crash through a single shop in a nine-month span, there's really no such thing as "normal." Each month, TJ and I talk about looking forward to a "normal" month of operations, only to be surprised by some unforeseen situation that blows up our idea of "normal."

Every aspect of our lives is the same way, including finances. We can expect and prepare for "normal" all we want, but that's not likely how it will play out. Instead, it might be chaotic, improvised, and compromised. For that reason, we must prepare our lives and finances as if "normal" doesn't exist.....because it doesn't. The car will break down. Someone will get sick. The furnace will go out. You'll lose a job. You'll be blessed with a surprise baby! Something!

If "normal" doesn't exist, perhaps we should start planning and acting like it. When we do, it won't be nearly as disheartening, and we'll be prepared for it!

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Memories Are Free: Golden Curry Edition

Wow(!!!) is the only word that can even remotely describe how amazing the end of the men's gold medal game was yesterday. With about three minutes remaining, France's run narrowed the gap to a three-point game. The U.S. was playing well, but France, fueled by their raucous home crowd, kept clawing back. Wemby, now just 20 years old, proved he's likely the future face of the NBA. He made play after play after play. Then, Steph Curry steps to the plate. I encourage you to check it out for yourself by clicking this link!

Ok, for the 90% of you who didn't click the above link, I'll explain what happened. Curry drills his 5th three-pointer of the game with 2:45 remaining, stunting France's run. Then, his 6th at the 1:51 mark. Then his 7th, a shot-clock buzzer-beater at the 1:18 mark. Then, in what will inevitably become an iconic moment in the history of international basketball (if not basketball, period), he drills his 8th on two defenders, in heat-check fashion, with 34 seconds remaining to seal the Olympic gold medal. That last one, man! Finn was freaking out, and I instantly had tears in my eyes. The raw emotion and euphoria were surreal. I will never, ever, ever forget that moment.

I've been replaying that sequence of events in my head for more than 12 hours—the sequence of events that played out on my TV and the sequence of events that played out in my living room. I'm so grateful for that time Finn and I spent together, and I hope that memory is as vivid for him as it surely will be for me.

Memories are free! In a culture that tells us we need to spend hundreds, thousands, or tens of thousands of dollars to create memories, I'm here to remind you today that memories are free. Sure, you can spend thousands of dollars to create a memory. That's perfectly fine, if you have the resources. But money isn't a prerequisite for memories. What Finn and I experienced together cost us nothing other than our presence and our togetherness. The rest took care of itself.

It's so easy to get lost in the idea that we must create these elaborate, exotic, expensive, and Instagram-worth experiences. Instead, the simplest moments can often be the most profound. I've experienced so many once-in-a-lifetime experiences that I never imagined I'd have access to in my life. Yet, it's usually those simple and free memories that pop back into my mind and my heart. Curry's golden moment, shared on my living room couch with Finn, will likely be one of them, and I will cherish it forever.

Go make some memories, and please don't let lack of money get in the way of a life-giving, until-you-die memory.

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The Night Test

A friend recently asked me how we can know if we're taking too much risk. There are, of course, many different ways to measure risk. Probabilities, standard deviations, risk/return ratios, historical averages, and loss severities, to name a few. Each has its own application and merit. However, I have a simple test that I apply to my own life, and challenge clients to apply to theirs.

It's one simple question: Do you sleep well at night?

If the answer is yes, we're probably good. If the answer is no, we need to reassess our decisions. Far too often, people make decisions that keep them up at night. What if this happens? What if that happens? What if, what if, what if? That's a tell-tale sign we're doing something that we shouldn't.

It's quite difficult to live a meaning over money life when we're constantly haunted by our financial decisions. I've been there!! There have been plenty of times in my life when I made financial decisions that impaired my sleep. The debt, certain investments, reducing my emergency fund too far, not having enough cushion in my checking account, and not properly saving for upcoming (known or unknown) expenses. Each of these questionable decisions hindered my financial stability and jeopardized my ability to live a meaningful life.

It's not that money is the most important thing in our lives (it's not!), but our finances leak into every aspect of our lives. If we're feeling tension in our money, we feel it literally everywhere. In our marriage, in our work, in our parenting, in our hobbies, and even in our faith. You deserve better than that!!

Do I sleep well at night? I think about this question a lot. If my answer is "no," I must make a change. There's no reason to have that sort of tension and affliction in our day-to-day lives. Sometimes, it's unavoidable, but often, it's in our power to act. If so, then act.

I've had to unwind so many decisions in my life to find peace. It can be frustrating, time-consuming, and embarrassing, but it's worth it! If you find yourself in a financial situation that's keeping you up at night, I encourage you to act. Make a shift. Give yourself peace. Refocus on the meaning.

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Yes, Even You (and Me)

I have a big talk coming up next week. It's not a large audience, as there will probably only be 100 people in the room. But it's a weighty audience. I have the honor of speaking to a group of people with far more experience and impact than I ever have. They are heroes in my book. Yet, these 100 people will take time out of their busy and productive days to listen to me try to add value to their lives. They will look to me for wisdom, insight, and influence. Imposter syndrome is starting to set in!!!

At the same time, I also confront a different type of reality: We ALL have something to offer. Yes, I have less experience than most of them. Yes, I'm making less impact than most of them (or at least that's what I tell myself!). Yes, I can surely learn a ton from sharing a meal with any one of them. But I have something to offer, too!

Despite the imposter syndrome, I intend for each person to walk out of that room with a completely different way of thinking. I want to equip and encourage them to be even more impactful in this next season of their mission. I aspire for them to look back on that block of their day and say to themselves, "Wow, I'm so glad I went!"

Both of those things can be simultaneously true. On the one hand, we can be in the company of people much further along than we are; on the other hand, we have something to offer them.

It reminds me of a recent conversation with a young professional. He wanted to pick my brain about podcasting and writing. He admires the work we're doing, and wanted to get some insights. Deep down, he's a marketing guy. He lives and breathes it. Recognizing that, I turned the tables on him and started asking him questions. This caught him off-guard, citing, "You have more experience in your pinky than I do in my whole body. You don't really want my advice!!"

Both things were true. I do have a lot more experience, and I did want his advice. He had something to offer, and I let him know that. He wavered somewhere between pride and disbelief, almost as if I was punking him. Eventually, though, he realized I was dead serious. Despite the vast experience gap, he had something valuable to offer me.

The same goes for you! Regardless of your age, background, experience, title, financial status, influence, or relationships, you have a ton to offer. And you don't just have something to offer in rooms full of people "below" you, but in all rooms. Even if you were sitting in a room with Elon Musk, you'd have something to offer him.

If what I just said is true, then perhaps we should all start sharing what we have to offer. No fear. No demeaning self-doubt. No imposter talk. Share it. Make an impact.

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No Truly Original Ideas

In just a few hours, I'll participate in my tenth consecutive Global Leadership Summit in Chicago. In my opinion, this is one of the best conferences in the world, and one of the few events I look forward to every year. It will include two jam-packed days of speakers, ideas, stories, and inspiration. It fills my tank every year, and I couldn't be more excited. Even better is that my guy TJ gets to join me for the third consecutive year. Here's the speaker lineup we're about to enjoy:

I've been reflecting on the idea of ideas. We like to think our ideas are uniquely ours. After all, they do get formulated in our brains and projected from our mouths (or fingers, in the case of this blog). However, there are no truly original ideas. Every good idea is formed from a base knowledge, which is absorbed from all around us. Nothing I type of rant about on the podcast is truly my own. Instead, I am blessed with the opportunity to receive knowledge, ideas, wisdom, and experience from others, process it, and formulate new-ish ideas of my own.

I'm a big believer in acting like a sponge. Think about the little kids in your life. Children absorb EVERYTHING! "But why?" "But why?" "But why?" Their curiosity knows no bounds. However, it's common for adults to get complacent in their curiosity once they leave their schooling years. I've been there. Life gets busy, we think we know enough, and we get set in our ways. The consequence of this approach to life is that we can lose perspective, fall behind on knowledge, and get stuck in our own existing ideas.

Instead, I believe we would all be better off continually seeking new ideas, knowledge, and perspectives. Books, movies, podcasts, online videos, or even a coffee with someone who has something to share. None of these are expensive (mostly free), and we have instant access to some of the brightest minds in the world.

Undoubtedly, any good idea I've ever had on this blog (plus the bad ones....) can 100% be attributed to other people who have blessed me with their knowledge, ideas, perspectives, and experience. That's why I get so jacked up for the GLS each year. I will most certainly go home better than when I left. And if I lean hard enough into these new ideas, I may be able to add more value to your lives as well.

That's the opportunity we each have every day. Always stay curious. Keep growing. Continue learning. Then, share your new-ish ideas with the world so they can grow and develop their own new-ish ideas.

Based on the speaker list above, who are you most curious to hear about? I’m excited to share some of their content in the days to come!

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Van Gogh, Via Hoag

I recently received a text from my friend, mentor, and brother, Gary Hoag (The Generosity Monk), that's too good not to share.

On a recent trip to Amsterdam, Gary stopped by Vincent van Gogh's museum to spend a rare bit of free time. There, he picked up a book titled Life According to Vincent. He was reading it on his flight, then stumbled upon page 17. Here's what it said:

"In my view I'm often very rich, not in money, but rich [...] because I've found my work - have something which I live for heart and soul and which gives me inspiration and meaning to life."

Van Gogh is commonly considered one of the greatest artists of all time. More than 140 years after beginning his painting career, his name and legacy still endure in our modern world. Similarly, his work continues to bless people many generations later.

Gary is a big fan of van Gogh, as evidenced by his using van Gogh's art as the cover for most of his books (including the book he and I wrote together). Admittedly, I'm not extraordinarily well-versed in van Gogh. In my brief research, I have three facts that may blow your mind:

• Van Gogh started his painting career at age 27, and in a 9-year stretch, he created more than 900 pieces of work.

• In his lifetime, van Gogh only sold only one painting, which transacted seven months before he died.

• Van Gogh primarily used flowers, landscapes, farmers, and himself as subjects for his art, as he didn't have enough money to hire models.

When we think of people like van Gogh, we automatically assume he experienced the material riches any world-famous celebrity could have access to. That doesn't appear to be the case with van Gogh, though. By most accounts, his resources were limited, and he relied heavily on the financial support of family members. That's a pretty ironic reality juxtaposed with the fact one of his paintings sold for $149 million in 1990 (approximately 100 years after he painted it).

With that context, let me share that quote again:

"In my view I'm often very rich, not in money, but rich [...] because I've found my work - have something which I live for heart and soul and which gives me inspiration and meaning to life."

Those words sound so sweet through the lens of a man who didn't covet and chase the riches of the world. Instead, he thrived on purpose, meaning, and fulfillment.

I've been thinking about this quote since Gary generously shared it with me, and I'll probably be thinking about it for many more days. I hope it blesses you like it did me.

In the words of van Gogh, via Hoag, I hope you have something which you live for heart and soul and which gives inspiration and meaning to your life.

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Keep Zooming Out

In case it hasn't been brought to your attention (yet), the world is melting. Or probably melting. Or possibly melting. Something like that. Unemployment is up, inflated prices continue to put pressure on families, and political unrest (at home and abroad) is wreaking havoc on our collective psyche.

However, as always, we fixate on the stock market. While the stock market isn't THE indicator for our economy, I understand why we dwell on it. It's one of the few tangible, in-your-face, clearly measurable tools available in our crazy world. It's even color-coded! Green = Good. Red = Bad. These days, when we turn on the news, we see lots and lots of red.

As of yesterday's market closing, the U.S. stock market (S&P 500) is down 8.5% in less than three weeks. In a world that's supposed to provide a positive 8%-10% annual return, that recent development feels scary—very scary.

However, as I always say, we need to zoom out. And every time we zoom out, we need to keep zooming out. Doing so is the only way we can emotionally, mentally, and psychologically survive the scary times.

Here's what I mean. Our recent stock market beatdown takes the U.S. stock market down to where it was on - checking my calendar - May 8th of this year. Oh, that doesn't feel so bad now. Let's zoom out further. When the market first hit this level on March 20th, it was a new all-time, 154-year high. So the level we're at today, less than five months ago, was celebrated as another record-setting, butt-kicking, all-time high. Ah, now we're talking. Keep zooming out.

5 Days (-5.1%) = Feels scary!

6 Months (+4.6%) = Not too bad

5 Years (+77%) = Oh, I guess we're good

Regardless of how good or how bad things feel, I encourage you to keep zooming out. Perspective matters.

What Money Can’t Buy

Guys! Guys! Guys! I discovered a new parenting hack this week. Each night, Sarah and I told the kids they could stay up later.......if.......if they watched the Olympics with us. They were initially unhappy about this condition, but staying up late is staying up late.

The first night: "Uh, I don't want to watch gymnastics. Gymnastics is boring!"

The second night: "Swimming is boring! Can we watch something else?"

The third night: "Daddy, can we watch gymnastics tonight? Is swimming on, too?"

The fourth night: "I hope Biles is playing tonight!"

We've been geeking out on swimming and gymnastics all week, and it's been fun to share that with the boys. Finn even tried to imitate Katie Ledecky at the pool one day.

The interesting thing about swimming and gymnastics is we collectively aren't really swimming or gymnastics fans, but once every four years, we're glued to our TVs. The Olympics is their showcase to the world, and we're grateful to consume the content. Knowing how much work goes into these sports, and how little they get paid (on average), can we all agree these athletes are pursuing meaning over money?

Then, there's the other sports. Basketball, soccer, golf, and tennis, for example. These athletes are some of the highest-paid athletes in the world. Lebron James is a literal billionaire!!! Many of these athletes get paid tens of millions per year.....not including their endorsements!

Here's where I'm going with this. Yesterday afternoon, I received two separate messages from two separate blog readers. They wanted to highlight "meaning over money moments." One was of tennis superstar Novak Djokovic collapsing to the ground after winning gold. The other was of golfer Scottie Scheffler breaking down with emotion while listening to our national anthem after receiving his gold medal.

Novak Djokovic has won 24 tennis grand slams in his career (the most of all time) and is often regarded as the best tennis player ever. He's also earned approximately $170 million in prize money just from his tennis events. He has an estimated net worth of a quarter-billion dollars. Yet, he broke down the moment he won a gold medal for his country.

At just 28 years old, Scottie Scheffler has been the #1 ranked golfer in the world for approximately 100 weeks, and has earned approximately $90 million in his short career (not including the tens of millions earned from endorsements). He's achieved monumental success in his professional career, yet he sobbed when he earned an Olympic medal.

We can easily point our fingers at famous athletes and snidely say they are "just in it for the money." However, as I commonly say, the science says otherwise. Money can do a lot of things, but it cannot buy meaning or fulfillment. The Olympics are a perfect reminder that meaning ALWAYS trumps money. It's true for Scheffler, it's true for Djokovic, and it's true for you and me.

Meaning over money. Always meaning over money.

The Confirmation of Mockery

One of my clients was disheartened when he walked into a recent coaching session. I could tell from the outset that something was amiss. When I asked him about it, he shared how his parents and friends were staunchly against his upcoming career shift. For context, this man spent the first five years of his career working in a field that's ripe with status, as well as a nice, juicy income trajectory. In short, his golden ticket had been punched, and it was only a matter of time before his income significantly rose. However, his heart wasn't in it. He was in the job for the wrong reasons; all the while, he had developed a keen understanding of his calling.

After much consideration and consternation, he decided to pull the trigger on a drastic career shift. This would require him to abandon the status and future income that was surely in store for him and trade it for something far less glamorous and anything but certain financially. Now, his parents and friends are heavily criticizing his decision, even going as far as mockery.

Not only did this hurt, but it also caused him to start second-guessing his decision. After spending enough time with him, there isn't a clearer example of someone who should be making this career shift than him. In everyone's defense, though, I get why it would be difficult to comprehend from an outside perspective. What he's doing is counter-cultural. He's also choosing meaning over money, which is a surefire way to draw heat from a culture obsessed with materialism and "security."

I told him that the mockery confirmed that he was right where he needed to be. He should wear it as a badge of honor. I know what it's like to be criticized—even mocked—for making counter-cultural decisions. I also repeatedly see it in my coaching. As I reflect on my recent coaching conversations, here's a handful of items people have been criticized or mocked for (oftentimes by the people closest to them):

• Downsizing a home so one spouse can stay at home.

• Having the audacity to grind through $100,000 of student loans and credit card debt.

• Choosing to give away 30% of their income.

• Selling a new-ish car and becoming a one-car family so they could create more financial margin.

• Sending their kids to private school, knowing they will need to make many sacrifices to make it happen.

• Saying "no" to a group vacation because they couldn't make it work in their budget.

• Getting rid of their credit cards because they realized how much better their financial life would become without them.

Want to know my favorite criticism I received when I left my prior career? "Your kids deserve better." Ouch. That one hurt, especially coming from someone I deeply care about. While that was a painful comment, it was confirmation that I was doing the right thing. My kids do deserve better, but "better" doesn't mean more. More isn't better. Better is better. I'm actually glad this happened....it was exactly the confirmation I needed.

Let the mockery be your confirmation.

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A Different Kind of Currency

I recently received a message from a reader: "You put in so much work on the blog and podcast, but we get it all for free. Is there any way we can financially support you?"

No. No, there isn’t. No, you can’t. Your money is no good here (as they say in the movies)! I don't create 365 blog posts and 104 podcast episodes per year for money. After all, this is called Meaning Over Money.

However, I do deal in a different kind of currency. Instead of dollars and cents, I get paid in impact and change. Helping other people live a more meaningful life is the beautiful compensation I receive from this work.

Which brings me to you. The best way for me to create impact and cause change is for more eyes to read and more ears to listen. If anything I write or say moves the needle for you, and you think it could perhaps move the needle for someone else in your life, would you mind sharing? As you might have noticed, I've been experimenting with a footer on every day's post that includes a link to subscribe to the blog. The daily e-mail also includes a link to the podcast. Therefore, any time you forward an e-mail, send a blog link, or share the podcast, you're paying me with the most valuable currency I could ever ask for: The opportunity to serve someone.

I would be honored to speak into the life of someone you care about. On the flip side, please share with me if there are other people, resources, blogs, podcasts, or content that adds value to your life (and you think I might benefit, too). We all get better when we share good ideas. I'm honored when my ideas get shared, but I'm also blessed when ideas get shared with me. Let's multiply this culture of sharing. We never know what will happen when the right content hits the right person on the right day. Impact!

Blessed to be on this journey with you!

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But Not As a Lifestyle

Our family has had a great week at the lake. Lots of fun times and memories made. There are components of my day that are so appealing. Playing in the pool with the boys. Sitting at the dock and enjoying the calmness. Sleeping in (if the boys allow). Spending time on a boat. Cooking meals for my family (I love when I get to cook). So good!

I love everything about my time at the lake, but not as a lifestyle. What makes lake life (or insert any type of vacation here) awesome is the fact it's a treat. It's a pause from life. It's a reprieve from an otherwise crazy life. It's the reward for all the good work. It's an opportunity to rest up before jumping back into battle. The fact it's scarce is what makes it all that much sweeter.

I love my time at the lake, but not as a lifestyle. This is one of the biggest myths of the early retirement movement. There's a broad belief that stopping work and dedicating one's life to simply living a life of leisure is the ticket to happiness. I couldn't disagree more, and the science couldn't, either. People who live a leisurely life report lower levels of satisfaction and happiness. On the flip side, people who work and believe they are productive and adding value to others have much higher levels of overall life satisfaction.

I have a friend who just retired at 46. He and his wife believe they found a secret hack to life and will now live a far superior life than all of us working suckers. Their plan is to aimlessly bounce around from beach to beach, resort to resort. Never worry, though. They will "be sure to keep busy," as if busy is the definition of fulfillment. They are a few weeks into this adventure and report feeling "happier than ever." This makes sense, since vacations add a lot of value to our lives. However, what will happen to them in two, four, or six weeks when the vacation doesn't end? What will happen when there's nothing meaningful or fulfilling to return to? If we're looking at the science, the future doesn't look so bright. Time will tell, and I'll be sure to keep you updated.

I miss work. I miss serving those I have the privilege of serving. I can't wait to get back soon. At the same time, I would love to spend time at the lake monthly. Swoop in, recharge the batteries, make a few memories, then get back to work. Work, rest, work, rest. Oh yeah, some sun, too!

I hope you find time to get away. Go have fun. Make some memories. Get some much-needed rest. But you probably don't want to make it a lifestyle. You have far too much value to add to this world (and to yourself).

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Addition By Non-Subtraction

Whenever we talk about finding success in business, personal finance, careers, or any other area, we think in terms of achievements:

• Grow revenue by x%

• Get a new promotion

• Pay off $y of debt

• Gain a new client

• Save/invest $z

Achievements feel good. Achievements are pat-on-the-back worthy. Achievements are a tangible signal that we are winning. While I'm all for achievements, I think we underestimate the role of mistakes—or, in more specific terms, our ability to avoid mistakes. Take the U.S. women's rugby team, for example.

Attempting to win its first medal in Olympic history, our women's rugby team found themselves in the bronze medal match, trailing Australia by one try (think touchdown) with just a few seconds remaining. Alex Sedrick attacks the defense in what appears to be an uneventful and unsuccessful play, but something happens. The defense, which had played stunningly well up to that point, missed a tackle. They made a critical mistake. Alex, with her newfound opportunity, sprints the length of the field to make history - and create an iconic moment that will go down in U.S. Olympic history. Australia had made so much positive progress, inch by inch, tackle by tackle, and were mere seconds from taking home a medal. Then, sadly for them, one mistake unwound all that progress. It was equally heartbreaking as it was euphoric.

We can land achievement after achievement after achievement, but if we make critical mistakes along the way, it can easily sabotage any progress we've earned. In a battle for excellence, mistakes are the x-factor that often determines success or failure.

I've seen this with my own life, my own businesses, and the lives/businesses I have the honor of coaching. If we can first commit to eliminating the crushing mistakes, it allows us to stack achievements and progress ourselves down the inevitable path of success.

This is something TJ and I talk about daily as it relates to Northern Vessel. Northern Vessel has been built on a mountain of mistakes. In a lot of ways, we've succeeded despite our mistakes. However, if we want to take things to the next level, it's not about finding new achievements. Rather, it's about eliminating mistakes and practicing the art of excellence. I've already blocked out the book that TJ and I will eventually write together, and the main theme will be failure.

For Northern Vessel, the only way forward is to dodge mistakes. That's the only way for excellence to carry us into a new chapter. Your lives and your businesses are no different. We must avoid the big mistakes. We must stop shooting ourselves in the foot every time we start gaining positive momentum.

Over the next week, I challenge you to look in the mirror and assess where you're most vulnerable to hurtful mistakes. Some of you already know exactly what that is. Others may need to dive a bit deeper to understand where you're exposing yourself to the most risk. Avoiding that next big mistake may be the biggest turning point of your life!

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Why Must You Taunt Me, Apple?

As I attempted to write today's post, my phone oddly and repeatedly reminded me of past photos. Hey look, Travis, it's a cute picture of Pax eating ice cream when he was 3! Travis, check out this handsome little 2-year-old Finny riding a boat. It was almost as if Apple and Father Time were teaming up to taunt me.

Early in my parenting journey, someone said something that I didn't quite understand: "The days are long, but the years are short." It made zero sense to me. Fast-forward eight years, and no truer phrase has ever been spoken.

As we're on our annual family vacation in Okoboji, these days with the boys can seem painfully long (especially when they antagonize each other). We're having a blast, but it can just get long at times. On the flip side, how is it already our fifth year on this trip?!?!

They were babies last week. They were toddlers yesterday. Now, we're heading into second grade. As I'm sitting here lamenting how fast time is flying by, I'm simultaneously grateful for creating a life that allows us plenty of family time. My work is crazy, the hours can be long, and it often involves me zig-zagging across the country, but we've intentionally curated this life. Strong-ish boundaries, clear expectations, a partially well-thought-out plan, and a firm understanding of our why.

We've made so many sacrifices in the name of prioritizing our family. We've downsized our house, threw away status, detonated any chance of an early retirement (which makes my heart happy), trashed a boujee lifestyle, and literally turned our backs on millions of dollars.

There are months when I wonder what in the heck we did to ourselves. The months when there's barely enough income to account for our needs and giving. The months that feel extra stressful. The months when I wonder what life would be like if I hadn't taken a weird detour five years ago.

But then, like today, Apple decides I need to get some cute and harsh reminders of how fast time flies by spamming me with old photos. Oh yeah (!!), that's why we do what we do.

The days are long, but the years are short. In due time, I'll be an old man reflecting on my life. There will inevitably be many regrets circling my thoughts. However, I guarantee choosing meaning over money will NOT be one of them. Money, stuff, and status are fleeting. Legacy is forever.

It’s Never Too Soon

"When is the right time to start giving?"

"Now"

"When will we have enough so we can start giving?"

"Right now."

"How much do we need to start thinking about giving?"

"Whatever you have now."

One of the most common misconceptions about generosity in our culture is this false and toxic notion that we must achieve xyz goals before we turn on the giving spigot. We treat the topic as though giving is something relegated to rich people. And someday, if you become rich, perhaps you might give away a tiny portion of your riches, too.

Knowing this, I guess it shouldn't surprise me that I received criticism for a recent blog post explaining how my kids spend, save, and give equally—1/3, 1/3, and 1/3. Or, as one friend put it, "Why are your kids giving 33% when they hardly make any money?"

Here's my honest and most sincere answer: Because we're called to give, period. Our ability to give isn't dependent upon our net worth or income, whether we have everything we want, or whether we have attained a certain lifestyle. We should give because we are human. We should give because it's a central part of being loving. We should give because it's part of having a healthy relationship with money.

It reminds me of a famous quote. "It's possible to give without love, but it's impossible to love without giving."

Most people miss out on the beauty and life-changing consequences of giving, just so they can check the box on a few more wants each month. It's such a superficial, short-sighted, and empty way to live.

Whenever I think of this dynamic, I picture different people in my life. It's one of the curses and blessings of having worked with so many families. I think about couples with nearly every material possession they could ever desire, yet very little giving. On the flip side, I think about couples who live very modest lives, yet give beyond belief. The couples who have everything actually have very little. And the couples who appear to have very little actually have everything. It's a paradox that I'll never get over.

It's never too soon to give. My biggest encouragement is to just start. You don't need a well-thought-out strategy. You don't need sophisticated tools. You don't need to get your taxes sorted. You don't need have every giving opportunity fully vetted. Sometimes, you just need to give, then give again, and keep giving. You won't always get it right, but you'll most certainly change your life (and probably a few others along the journey).

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The Eye Zooms Kill Me

Sarah and I have thoroughly enjoyed the first few days of the Olympics. Without question, my favorite moments are when the gold medalist is standing on the podium and their national anthem starts playing. Then, without fail, the broadcast zooms in on their eyes. Oh man, that kills me every time!

When we see those eyes, it's almost like we're watching their entire professional life flash before them. All the work. All the pain. All the failure. All the sacrifice. All the early mornings. You can almost see the moment when they realize it was all worth it. It all paid off. They've reached the top of the mountain, and this is the moment it's starting to sink in.

When I see those eyes, I also see something else: meaning. You can't do what those athletes do if you're simply chasing money. The pursuit of money is futile and empty. It can work for a while, but when the real challenges come, money isn't enough to sustain the journey.

Meaning couldn't be further from the opposite. With enough meaning, there's practically no challenge that could stop someone. Most of these Olympic athletes aren't wealthy. They aren't making a good living. They are financially surviving while they pursue a dream. Even on the other side of success, money isn't promised. The dream is the dream because it's the dream. That's the wild part about living with meaning. It doesn't intuitively make sense. No, meaning doesn't put food on the table. However, living with meaning nourishes our souls unlike anything on this planet.

That's what I see when they zoom into the eyes of those gold medal winners. It's a beautiful sight, each and every time. As you enjoy these Olympic games, pay special attention to that moment. When the camera inevitably zooms in on those eyes, look deeper.

No, most of us will never stand on an Olympic podium with a gold medal around our neck and our national anthem blaring on the speakers. However, that same relentless pursuit for meaning is on the table for each of us. Just like the Olympians, it's not an easy journey. However, if you see the look in their eyes, you might just see why it's worth it.

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No Paybacks

I had a beautiful idea for today's post. I even gave my friends Chi-Chung and John a sneak peek of the concept as I was bursting with excitement. However, plans changed after WW3 nearly broke out in my house last night.

I'll set the table for you. With our annual family vacation approaching, I reminded the kids that they could do some extra house projects to earn spending money for the trip. Pax was on the fence, so I reminded him that he only had $2 in his wallet. This is when the freak-out happened. He believed he had more money than that, and accused us of taking it from him. It's definitely true......or, more accurately, a half-truth.

On a recent trip to KC, Sarah and the boys visited the Truman Library. Pax wanted to purchase a souvenir, but he didn't have his money with him. Sarah, knowing he had at least that much money in his wallet at home, agreed to buy it for him and we would take the money out of his wallet when they returned home (i.e. pay it back). That's what happened, buyer’s remorse set in, and that's what ultimately led to the meltdown.

This was a big mistake on Sarah's part. We have a no payback rule in our house. If they don't have the money on hand to buy something, they don't buy it—no exceptions. In that particular situation, Sarah knew he had the money, so "what's the harm in just having him pay it back?" It feels like six of one, half a dozen of another. Isn't it the same thing? Far from it!

When we pay for something the moment we purchase it, there's a psychological connection between the money and the item. In that moment, Pax would have held the $5 in one hand and the souvenir in the other, then made a choice. Science shows that this moment triggers the pain center in our brain, causing an instant and noticeable psychological response. No such moment occurs when we purchase things without actually paying for it. Cheating ourselves of this moment drives buyer's remorse and taints the value of money in our psyche.

We eventually resolved the situation, and Sarah, seeing the potential destructiveness of breaking the link between the money and the purchase, made a renewed commitment to never again break this rule. If you don't have the money, you don't buy it. No exceptions.

If you haven't caught on yet, I'm going somewhere else with this. We adults are masters of subverting this principle. It's called a credit card. We buy something with the full intent of paying it back soon, and we totally have the money to pay it back, but it's easier to just swipe that card and deal with it later. Doing so shortcircuits the psychological impact of actually having to pay for something. No pain center triggers. No moment of consideration. And ultimately, probably some buyer's remorse.

Following the no payback rule helps kids develop a stronger and healthier relationship with money. It does for adults, too.

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Choosing Excellence Over Guilt

"I'll never go back!"

"They must not be very good."

"It feels like they are trying to guilt me."

"I'm done."

"They won't see me again."

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Those remarks, amongst many others, are sharp and uncompromising comments I've received from friends, blog readers, and podcast listeners. What in the world could generate so much negative feedback!?!? One simple phrase: "Support small business."

It's well documented how much I dislike the "support local" and "support small" movements (such as HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, and HERE). I believe small businesses do a drastic disservice to themselves when they talk about supporting local or supporting small.

Before I proceed, I must give you my obligatory caveat: I LOVE small businesses, I own multiple small businesses, I coach small businesses, and I believe small businesses are the backbone of our society. I deeply love everything about small business.

On the flip side, I think the entire notion of "supporting small businesses" reeks of pity and guilt. I guess I'm not alone, as indicated by the sheer number of texts, DMs, and phone calls I receive about this subject whenever I discuss it publicly. All that being said, I totally understand if this opinion is disorienting to you (especially to fellow small business owners!). We use these phrases so much in our culture that it almost seems benign and universally accepted as a positive thing.

Despite being well-intentioned, here is what you're really communicating to people when you use these phrases:

• You're telling people what to do, or more specifically, what businesses NOT to frequent. Many people don't take kindly to this.

• It comes across as entitled, as if you deserve to have people patronize your business just because you're small and/or local. That right isn't deserved; it must be earned.

• It feels like you're guilting people, especially friends and family, into giving you business.

• It feels like an overcompensation for not having good products, good service, and/or good prices.

• It makes people believe you aren't good enough to survive without "support." That's akin to a non-profit asking for donations.

• It communicates that your livelihood is more important (and more qualified to thrive) than people who work for non-small or non-local businesses.

What's the alternative? Be excellent. Serve people well. Meet their needs. Make them feel a different way. Provide them something no other business can offer. Earn the right to serve them again. Better yet, earn the right for them to tell other people about you. Instead of hoping people support you, add so much value to their lives that they can't imagine you not being in it. That's what small business is all about!

I love you, small business owners! You're my people. You've chosen a challenging, crazy, white-knuckling, uncertain path. Now, it's time to cook. It's your time to shine. Lead with excellence. You deserve it, as do all the people you have the privilege of serving.

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The Culture of Can’t

I don't know if it's always been this way, but we live in a toxically negative culture. A culture of "can't." Voices that echo throughout our lives, day in and day out. You can't get out of debt. You can't start the business. You can't get a better job. You can't afford to give that money away. You can't save for that big upcoming purchase. You can't have a job that doesn't suck. You can't, you can't, you can't.

I haven't seen data on this, and I haven't yet conducted a formal study on the subject, but I have an anecdotal observation after talking with hundreds of people about it. If someone has a bunch of debt and has yet to make meaningful positive progress on paying it off by their early 30s, there's a high likelihood that it will only get worse. Why? Because when we're told "you can't" enough times, we start to believe it's true. Then, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I just met with a couple in their mid-40s. They've struggled with their debt for nearly 20 years. They'd pay a little off, then accumulate more—a constant yo-yo spanning two full decades. They came to me as a last-ditch effort to salvage their finances.....and maybe their marriage. They wanted to know what tips, tricks, and strategies I have for them to make more money. Or perhaps some loopholes to get their loans forgiven. Maybe bankruptcy would do the trick? They wanted an out.

Me: "Why don't you just pay off the debt?"

The Husband: "We can't. It's too much."

Me: "Yeah, it's a lot. But why don't you just pay it off?"

The Wife: "We can't. It's impossible." Then, there was a rant about inflation, kids, activities, the government, crappy bosses, travel, needs, etc.

Me: "Yeah, all that stuff would get a lot easier if you just paid it off."

The Husband: "We can't. We would have by now if we could."

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Fifteen months later, they had paid off $50,000 of credit card debt. That's a lot of debt to pay off for someone who "can't." That's the problem. Our culture continually tells us we can't do things. I believe they can. I told them they can. I showed them how they can. I reminded them they can. And then, their actions proved they can.

If you only internalize one thing I write this week, please let it be this: You can! Not only that, you should! I'm not telling you what to do. Rather, I'm telling you that you CAN and SHOULD do the thing you're thinking about right now. You know, that one thing. The thing you wonder, ponder, stress about, and dream for. That thing. You can. You should. Please don't let our culture (i.e. all the people and media around you) tell you otherwise.

I Remember Where I Was When

I went to bed one night when I was 25 years-old......and woke up in my 40s. Isn't it crazy how fast time flies? It felt like it sped by when I was in my twenties and thirties, but it seems to be accelerating. To all my friends ahead of me: Does it get even worse from here!?!?

Life feels like a blur. I remember seasons of life, monumental personal events, and an overarching feeling of what life was like at given points in time, but it's all becoming murky.

Then, there's the I-remember-where-I-was-when moments. You know, those vivid, seared in your brain events that you'll never forget. The kind of moment where you remember exactly where you were, who you were with, and maybe even what you were wearing. Here are some of mine:

• Columbine

• OJ chase

• OJ trial verdict

• 9/11

• The Gulf War

• The Second Gulf War

• Hurricane Katrina

• When COVID shut down the world

• When Y2K didn't end the world

• The 2003 space shuttle explosion

• The double-nickel comeback game (IYKYK)

• Assassination attempt on President Trump

Why do I bring all this up? In a life that passes far too fast and feels much too murky, we're carried by a small collection of vivid memories. As my list above indicates, many of those are negative memories. It's scientifically proven that bad things get seared in deeper than good things.

Therefore, it's imperative that we intentionally and aggressively fight this memory battle. One of the only ways we can do that is to curate our own I-remember-where-I-was-when moments. As a husband and a father, I make it my duty to overcome the monotony and repetitiveness of everyday life by creating moments my family will remember forever. These moments don't have to cost an arm and a leg. Instead, they only need to be intentional, personal, and savored.

Only time will tell if I've been successful in this endeavor. Many years from now, as their own lives are moving at a blurry pace, I hope the boys share stories about those special memories and moments from their childhood. I can tell you one thing, though. My efforts have yielded personal returns. I have so many profound memories with Sarah and he boys over the years. Memories that repeatedly remind me that meaning should always come before money. Always.

*What are some of your I-remember-where-I-was-when moments? I love asking people this question, and I'd love to hear your answers!

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