Two Is Better Than One

I regularly discuss how married couples must take joint ownership of their finances. It's critically important that both spouses are involved. Today, though, I want to clear up one common misconception.

Ownership and action are two different things. Yes, both spouses need to have ownership. However, couples don't need both spouses to jointly manage the finances. There are so many different ways this can play out.

For example, one spouse may pay all the bills, and the other handles all insurance and investments. Another example is having both spouses jointly pay all the bills and manage the budget together (they literally sit at the table together and work through it together). Both of these approaches are perfectly acceptable, but here's my broader point. It doesn't matter who does what, as long as both spouses have a voice, ownership, and accountability.

I'll use my marriage as a third example. I'm married to a woman who is allergic to numbers. Trust me, it's been scientifically proven. Sarah has zero interest in bills, investments, insurance, or anything else that includes dollar signs and numerical digits. And that's okay! What's important is that Sarah has ownership.

Each month, Sarah and I discuss, negotiate, and set our budget. Some months are more difficult or busier than others, but that's been our general trend for nearly 15 years. I may make 99% of our family's income, but she has an equal voice (it's "our" money, not my money). Her opinions matter. Her influence is imperative. We negotiate what will happen with our money, and then she turns the management over to me. She has her own role, though. Since she has ownership, she's accountable for living out the plan we set for our family. She must honor the budget we set together and execute whatever life decisions come with it. But I handle 100% of the actual financial management. That approach is okay, too!

That's ownership vs. action. There is no right or wrong. Some couples do everything together, some have a clear delineation of duties, and some are like mine, where one spouse does most (or all) of the management. All of these are acceptable approaches, under one condition: both spouses have ownership.

If your spouse doesn't have ownership, accountabiity, engagement, or a voice, I encourage you to bring him/her into the fold. It will lead to more financial success, an improved marriage, and a reality where your finances become an extension of your values, dreams, and aspirations. In other words, it changes everything!

Beauty From the Pain

I recently had the pleasure of spending time with a friend who is going through a ton of pain. Personal pain, career pain, lots of pain. This stuff has rocked her world. Through this mess, she has made a few brutal decisions about her next steps. Decisions that have loved ones scratching their heads and/or criticizing her. To sum up my opinion, I believe her controversial decisions will be transformative for her journey. While it feels far too heavy at the moment, I deeply believe she will look back and view these challenging decisions as a hallmark turning point in her life. Beauty will soon rise from the pain.

As I was listening to her gut-wrenching tale, I couldn't help but think about my own painful journey. The pain and frustration in her voice took me back to 2008, at age 27, just as I was settling into my life and young career. I thought I had life figured out. I bought a house, met a girl, found a church, built a community, and loved my career. I had life all figured out.....or so I thought.

Then, one day, as I was walking into my office, I was swiftly pulled into a conference room by a stranger. There, I met all my co-workers seated around a table. Over the coming few minutes, I realized my entire life was about to crumble around me. It was the beginning of the Great Financial Crisis, and I was in the real estate investing business. Long story short, my company was getting shut down, and we would all eventually be fired.

Did I mention I had been engaged for just three days? I woke up that morning with all the optimism in the world and went to bed wondering what I would do with my life. I also faced the scary reality that I needed to make monthly payments on my $236,000 debt with the likelihood of not having a job soon. That was easily one of the hardest few days of my life. Even writing about it gives me terrifying flashbacks.

Ultimately, I was blessed with an opportunity (er, ultimatum) to move to Iowa and continue my career. I didn't want to move, but we didn't have much of a choice. Sarah and I humbly and gratefully accepted the offer, and we reluctantly moved a few months later (well, I moved, and we lived four hours apart for six months of our engagement).

So much pain. So so much pain. Yet, as I now look back at that season with the benefit of 16 years of perspective, that nightmare was actually one of the best gifts we ever received. So much beauty came from that pain. We wouldn't live the life we have today without that season of suffering. We're not mad.....we're grateful.

Someday, preferably sooner than later, I hope my friend sees how much beauty came from this season of her life. She deserves it!

Whatever pain you're experiencing, just know that a beautiful chapter will soon be written. Keep pressing on. You deserve it, too.

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The Problem With Worry

I don't know about you, but I've consumed far too much national news coverage in the past few weeks. From the presidential debate, to the attempted assassination of President Trump, to President Biden's withdrawal from the 2024 presidential race. I've been glued to the TV and Twitter, and hasn't been exactly healthy.

There's a lot to worry about right now: unprecedented political unrest, massive layoffs, a job market that feels like it's teetering on the edge, the miserable results of several years of rampant inflation, and a stock market that continues to defy the odds by hitting more all-time highs. It just feels weird....and worrisome.

It's really easy to dwell on the things we fear. These things can consume us. After all, the dynamics I mentioned above (plus all the ones I didn't mention) are terrifying and have the potential to cause turmoil for American families. So, it's perfectly understandable why one would fixate on these possible adverse outcomes.

On the flip side, worry does no good. Zero. Zilch. Nada. The last time I checked, there are no positive outcomes associated with worry. But when we spend our time and energy bathing in our fears, we're not doing something that can actually help us. Worry shifts our attention from what we can control to what we can't. Fear takes us from a place of action to inaction. Dwelling on outside news separates us from behaviors that have the potential to provide positive momentum.

Instead of obsessing about what could go wrong, we should spend our time, energy, and resources saving up an emergency fund that can actually protect our family.

Instead of complaining about inflation (we all do it!), we should focus on our budget and live with intentionality.

Instead of worrying we won't have enough down the road, we should invest.

Instead of getting angry that people are hurting, facing injustice, and living without their needs met, we should give. Put our money where our mouth is and simply give.

Instead of wondering what the politicians will do next, we should just pay off our debt.

Instead of getting frustrated by how much our job sucks (whether it's the culture, work, or compensation), we should pursue work that matters.

There are so many things we can't control in life. Big, scary, powerful things. Then, there are the things we can actually influence. If we simply focus on what we can control, we will most certainly be better off.

I know this all sounds so commonsensical and overly simplified, and that's intentional. We need to lean hard into common sense while simplifying our lives.

Turn off the TV. Close Twitter. Control what you can control.

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Period.

As we were on our way to the science center yesterday, my family enjoyed a quick lunch at a downtown patio. Toward the end of our meal, a young woman approached us, looking distressed. "I'm sorry, and I'm really embarrassed to even ask, but I could really use some help. Do you have a few dollars you could give me?"

I quickly grabbed my wallet to see what I had. Not surprisingly, my cash was limited. I only had a single twenty-dollar bill on me. I pulled the bill out, handed it to her, and wished her a good day. She was shocked by the gift, thanked me multiple times, and then continued on her way.

This sparked a fun conversation with the kids. What was she going to do with the money? Did she really need it? Why did she need it? I answered every question with "I don't know." Then, after I unsuccessfully answered all their questions, I finished with this: "Our job is to be loving and generous.....period. That's what God asks us to do. What she does with that money is between her and God."

I can already see the criticism for this approach. Did she even need the money? Was she scamming me? Was she going to use it for something irresponsible? What if I just wasted that money?!?! I could easily have a cynical perspective like that. Part of me does if I'm being honest. However, my job is to be loving and generous.....period. It reminds me of one of my favorite stories I've shockingly only shared once before on this blog:

C.S. Lewis and his friend were walking down the street. Along the path, they see a homeless man. Lewis immediately reached into his pockets, pulled out all the cash he had on him, and handed it to the man. As they walked away, his friend said, "You shouldn't have done that. He's just going to squander it on tobacco and alcohol." Mr. Lewis looks at his friend and replies, "Well, that's what I was going to do with it."

We need to be less cynical and more loving.

We need to be less judgy and more generous.

Yes, we're going to make mistakes. Yes, our gifts may sometimes be squandered. Yes, we'll get taken advantage of.

But our call is to be loving and generous.....period.

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How We Were Silently Molded

This may be the most Captain Obvious thing I'll say all week: We're all different. Different backgrounds, different experiences, different personalities, different genetics, different relationships.....different different.

I think we collectively underestimate the impact these differences have on how we perceive and handle money. Who we are with money is a deeply personal dynamic, wrapped in all the various experiences we've had throughout our lives.

The very first conversation I have with new clients is about what their childhood looked like. Whether we want to admit it or not, what we experience in our childhoods and how we were raised deeply influence our present-day relationship with money. If I can understand what someone went through when they were kids, I can understand why they have XYZ tendencies and behaviors around money in adulthood.

I'll share a few examples:

If someone grew up in poverty, there's oftentimes a fork in the road. One path leads to the pursuit of more, buying all the things they didn't have growing up (and likely spoiling their own kids). The other path leads to self-sabotage, subconsciously spoiling opportunities to make financial progress.

If someone grew up in material wealth, they are likely to feel entitled to a similar lifestyle in adulthood. This can take the shape of an at-all-costs mentality. They will replicate the high standard of living they grew up with, whether they can afford it or not. For the ones who can't readily afford this replication, the heavy use of debt often comes into play.

If someone grew up with an average-to-good standard of living, but their parents experienced a sudden and drastic financial disaster, it's common for them to develop hoarding tendencies. Young Millenials and Gen-Z fit this mold brilliantly. Between 2008 and 2010, millions of American families experienced unprecedented financial turmoil: massive layoffs, record foreclosures, and long-lasting unemployment. Many kids went to bed perfectly fine one night, and woke up to their lives turned upside down the following day. It's common for kids who went through this experience to grow up with a penchant for financial hoarding. Why? Because their lived experience tells them that everything could be perfectly fine one day, and gone tomorrow. Therefore, you can never have enough money.

I could write this list for hours, but I'd prefer not to put you to sleep. Rather, this is an invitation to reflect. What do your financial habits and perspectives look like? Second, how might your childhood have shaped them? Understanding this relationship is key to becoming more self-aware and correcting toxic or destructive behaviors/habits. It's a worthwhile conversation to have with yourself!

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Ignoring the Finance Bros

I just celebrated a four-year anniversary working with a specific client. A single woman who is now in her early 30s. In one of our first few coaching sessions, I walked her through the key principles of investing:

• Broad U.S. stock market index funds

• Low fees

• Disciplined contributions

• Don't lose sleep

• Be very patient

She loved the simplicity of this approach and latched on quickly. Early on, we set up automated contributions to her investment accounts, and she's never thought about it since.

Some of my favorite memories were when she would come into a coaching session with stories about how her guy friends would boast about their investing prowess and make fun of her approach to investing. Or in her words, they "mansplained" it to her, as she rolled her eyes telling me the story. These types of stories would persist for the coming years, always revolving around their investing advice, stock tips, and more boastful tales.

I know exactly what she's talking about. No, I don't actually know these particular guys. But I know lots of people like this. They are commonly referred to as "finance bros." They've taken a few finance classes in their college years, got lucky with a few stock trades (ignoring the many other losses), and now prop themselves up as investing gurus.

Whenever my client told me these stories, my message was the same: "Be patient. You'll get the last laugh. The truth always prevails."

While together recently, she and I logged into her investment account to see her performance: +13.6% per year for the last four years. Not too shabby for her only spending five minutes per year on her investments (and practically no time thinking about it). 13.6% per year.....from someone who knows very little about the stock market. That's the power of doing things the right way.

I really wish I could have a beer with her finance bro friends to see what their investments have looked like over the past four years. Having spent enough time with the finance bros in my life, though, I have a feeling it's not a pretty sight.

Simple is good. Steadfast is good. Consistent is good. Broad is good. Cheap is good. Zero brain damage is good. 155 years of black-and-white history is good. I'm so glad my friend ignored all the finance bros.

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I Won't Be Stealing His Blessing

Finn finished the rest of how mowing duties last night. I feel weird saying that about a seven-year-old, but here we are. He loves mowing, and I'm more than happy to let him do it. It's also a great opportunity for me to teach him about the connection between hard work and money. After we came into the house, with sweat dripping off his face, he was eager to receive the rest of his pay.

As he divided up the money into three components (spending, saving, and giving), he turned to me and said, "Dad, I'm going to use my giving money to buy you a new battery so you can fix your watch." I've been wearing a broken watch for a few months now. I have other watches, but this one is my favorite. Unfortunately, though, the battery died. So, at this point, it's for aesthetics only.

I was blown away by his thoughtful generosity. Sarah was also moved by his gesture and said, "Finny, that is so thoughtful of you! Very sweet. But Dad can use other money to fix his watch."

The moment came and went. Finn seemed excited about his idea, and we quickly moved on to the next part of our evening. Sarah and I didn't discuss this after the fact, but I wasn't a fan of her comment. She meant well, and her intent was pure, but she inadvertently stole (or attempted to steal) his blessing.

See, Finn didn't want to buy me a new battery because I NEEDED it. Rather, he wanted to show love through generosity.....period. I need to accept this gift. Robbing people of their blessing is an act of anti-generosity. It's counter to everything we try to teach.

It reminds me of a recent text message I received: "What's your Venmo?" I kind of knew what was coming, but then again, I really didn't. But I had a suspicion about what it could be about. I didn't ask this person for money. I didn't want this person to send me money. I didn't feel like I deserved any money. However, I don't steal people's blessings. My personal rule is to NEVER steal someone's attempt to practice generosity. I gratefully shared my Venmo handle, only to receive a gift mere minutes later. I excitedly and sincerely thanked this person for the gesture. It means a lot that they would do that, even if I didn't NEED it. It was an act of thoughtful love. I wasn't about to rob that from them.

Back to Finn. Yes, I'm going to let him fix my watch. The only way to become generous is to practice generosity. If I'm trying to raise my kids to become loving, generous men, why would I rob them of opportunities to be generous? I won't. I will gratefully receive Finn's thoughtful act of generosity. I hope it adds yet another spark to his generosity journey.

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Remorse is Setting In

We had a rough moment in our house last night. Both boys mowed the yard, resulting in a little paycheck. As always, 1/3 goes to their giving ziplock, 1/3 goes to their savings ziplock, and 1/3 goes into their wallets for spending. They were eager to receive the fruits of their labor, but reality quickly struck.

As they each opened their wallets to deposit their spending cash, they were welcomed to an empty cavern where money used to live. They were immediately upset at the idea of having no spending money (except for the cash they just earned). Sarah reminded them that they spent all their money on the 4th of July. I could see disappointment and buyer's remorse take over their expressions.

If I'm being honest, I loved it. I'm so glad this happened! They need to feel this way. It's imperative they learn these lessons the hard way. It's critical they understand the importance of wise decision-making. It's a growth opportunity to experience the regret of past decisions at the expense of future opportunities. They were mad at us, but at the heart of it, they were mad at their past decisions.

As parents, we must subject our children to these types of painful situations. It's not hurting them; it's helping them. Allowing them to fail and experience consequences is an exercise of love. It takes nearly zero effort to give our kids whatever they want. That's the easy way out. The difficult path, however, is having the fortitude and confidence to allow our kids to fail when we have the power to rescue them.

There will be more work. There will be more money. There will be more fun purchases. Next time, though, perhaps they will approach their decisions with a bit more wisdom. 7-year-old wisdom, but wisdom nonetheless. That's the win!

Let the kids fail. Let them feel pain. Let them learn the hard way. That's the gateway to growth, wisdom, and a brighter, healthier future.

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Who and Why

Making guest appearances on podcasts is one of my favorite hobbies. There's something profoundly appealing about the opportunity to share some words, ideas, and encouragement with an audience I may otherwise never have access to. I recently had the privilege of spending time on the Masters in Travel Podcast (Episode 179 - on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts). This was a unique format, though. While we did record a traditional podcast episode, it was done in a group setting. There were a few dozen members of the Masters in Travel community on the Zoom call with us. This community and its broader podcast audience is comprised of travel agents from all over the country. It was a fun group and an enjoyable conversation! I highly recommend you check it out.

Toward the beginning of the episode, I talked about the importance of the who and the why. Who are we called to serve, and why are we called to serve them? A big piece of that equation, especially on the front end, is understanding what we're really selling. I got pretty jazzed up with this audience. Not because I have a particular affinity for travel agents, but because of what they are really selling. In a world where virtually everything we buy will be in a landfill in a handful of years, they sell something that will last forever: memories! Travel agents are in the memories business. That's a tremendously profound idea. When we think of it that way, what a rich, fulfilling, and legacy-driven occupation!

Once we understand what we're really selling, it clarifies the who and the why. Some agents may specialize in helping young families create an unforgettable Disney experience for their children. Others might unlock otherwise intimidating experiences for curious adventurers. Still, others may help retirees create once-in-a-lifetime experiences they've dreamed about for decades.

In our respective occupations, the moment we truly understand the who and the why is the moment we discover the special combo of finding meaning in our work and creating impact on the world.

I'll use my business as an example. Yes, I provide financial coaching services, but I'm not really selling financial advice. Rather, I'm helping people unlock a more fulfilling, impactful, and meaningful journey. It just happens to be through the lens of personal finance. I also have a keen sense of the who: 20-somethings and 30-somethings who realize there's a much more meaningful life to be lived than what our culture encourages.

Each of you has your own version of this. Truth is, it’s so easy to lose sight of these things while we’re battling in the trenches day to day. Sometimes, we just need to pause, take a step back, and remember our mission—the who and the why.

Who do you serve? Why do you serve them? What are you really selling? I encourage you to take a moment today to think about these questions.

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The Blink of An Eye, Indeed

When I published a piece titled The Blink of An Eye a few days ago, I had no idea that idea would ring true in such a profound way just a few days later. The piece centered around the concept that life can change in the blink of an eye. I used examples such as births, deaths, job losses, marriages, sicknesses, career shifts, and divorces. Pardon my mistake of not including the attempted assassination of a former president (and a current presidential candidate.)

If a little piece of metal had traveled a half-inch further to the right, human history would have forever been altered. In some ways, it still might be altered with the new reality we're living in. The coming implications of what just transpired are still very much uncertain, but palpable. Indeed, some lives have been profoundly altered because of the events unfolding in Pennsylvania. Lives were lost, and thousands witnessed something truly horrifying.

It's a stark reminder that life is delicate. We're here until we're not. Every morning we wake up is a gift, and every night we go to sleep in our beds is a blessing. Life is too short and too uncertain to not live it with meaning. So many of us are living for the future. We stay at a job we hate so that one day we can "finally enjoy life." We hoard all of these assets so that one day we'll be able to use them. We don't call that friend today because, well, we'll just call them next week. We spend so much time being busy that we don't savor the beauty all around us.

Life is short. Life is delicate. There are no guarantees. Tomorrow is not promised. At the same time, there's so much meaning to be squeezed out of it. Don't waste your opportunity. After all, it could change in the blink of an eye.

The Scales of Meaning

As I was writing yesterday’s post, I had a series of flashbacks. Flashbacks of tense conversations I’ve had with clients about significant life decisions. It reminds me of this:

Money is finite. Each month, there’s only so much of it to go around. For every dollar we spend on one thing, it’s one less dollar we can spend on another. While it’s true there are dozens of categories and thousands of transactions at play, sometimes it boils down to a few major decisions. That’s where the scale comes in. For the sake of this post, I’ll refer to them as the “Scales of Meaning.”

In yesterday’s post, I shared the story of new parents who both desperately wanted mom to stay home with their baby. However, as a result of their family’s financial structure, the only way to make it happen was to give up some combination of their big house, two luxury cars, and fancy trips. 

When we place these options on the scales of meaning (cars/house/vacation one side, and staying home on the other), it shines a light into our soul. This couple repeatedly said that mom staying home is the most important thing. It’s one thing to say it, but another to place them on the scales of meaning. Once they are on the scale, we have a choice to make. Option A or Option B. Their decision will be the real answer. No more lip service. Words are cheap. What’s really most important? Turns out, this family’s lifestyle was actually more important than staying at home. She miserably and painfully stayed at work so they could continue to enjoy their fancy lifestyle. 

The scales of meaning are a humbling tool. It forces us to put our money where our mouth is. Here are a few recent examples I’ve encountered:

• Keep the car or unlock more family trips with the kids: They sold the car and started buying plane tickets.

• Stay in the massive house or make a major career shift to pursue work that matters: They downsized their house, and he started working at a non-profit where he now inflicts much impact.

• Continue to live a high-end lifestyle or send their kids to a Christian school (which isn’t cheap): They now live much more humbly and their kids go to a school they believe in.

• Dad keeps his high-paying, long-hour job or he shifts so he can be more present in his children’s lives: They ultimately decided it’s okay to miss everything if he can “provide a better life.” Ouch!

The scales of meaning don’t discriminate. Rather, they expose us. They wipe away any façade we may portray to the world (or ourselves) and shine the light on what we truly value. It reveals what we truly value.

I encourage you to try it sometime. It’s a beautiful way to visualize our lives and the decisions set before us. It’s a humbling exercise, though. You’ve been warned! 

The Blink of An Eye

A little more than eight years ago, Sarah and I were a mid-30s couple who aspired to one day have children. Just a handful of days later, we were the parents of twin baby boys. We went from “we wish” to “oh crap” in about twelve seconds. We bought car seats, bottles, clothes, and diapers AFTER meeting them for the first time. We didn’t even have a room ready for them. Our lives forever changed in the blink of an eye. 

For as much as we think we have a firm grasp on our lives, reality often plays out differently. Birth, death, job loss, marriage, sickness, career shifts, divorce....all sudden forces that have the power to change our lives in the blink of an eye. There’s a problem, though. When we think we have a firm grasp on our lives, we act as though we have a firm grip on our lives. In the financial arena, it typically means that we create our personal cost structure that works for one reality: the present one. 

I often meet with couples who were feeling fairly confident in their finances for years, until _____ happened last month. As long as their family is healthy, employed, and not making any changes, they can keep the train on the tracks. However, when we structure our life so specifically, it doesn’t allow margin for life to happen.

It reminds me of a situation that still haunts me to this day. Many years ago, I was meeting with a couple. Two strong careers, no kids. They lived in a beautiful home, drove luxury cars, and took exotic trips. Between their hefty mortgage, two obscene car payments, and a glitzy lifestyle, their monthly expenses absorbed most of their income. I asked them about kids. I recommended they start making some shifts in lifestyle to create margin for changing circumstances. Namely, I suggested they consider what-if scenarios that may include one of them working part-time or staying home completely. Before I could finish, the wife snapped at me, “I’m not staying home. Zero chance!” They completely shut that conversation down. Over the next few meetings, I tried to bring it up again, pointing out that sometimes, but not all the time, having children shifts career aspirations and jumbles priorities. Again, they were adamant there’s zero chance of either staying home. Thus, they continued down the same path. 

Fast forward 18 months, and they gave birth to a beautiful baby. Then comes our next coaching session. Wanna guess what the topic of conversation was? The wife, now a mom, was desperate to stay home with her baby. Life changed in the blink of an eye, but they structured a life that works for just one reality. When I visually showed them there was no way she could stay home (or even work part-time) without completely gutting their lifestyle (house, cars, travel, etc.), there were a lot of tears. So sad!

Life can change in the blink of an eye. Knowing that, it’s imperative that we structure our life in a way that allows us to shift with it.

Being Ungrateful Beings

Do you ever think about how much we take for granted? I think about this topic a lot, but never more than I have this week. Post-hurricane Houston has been a mess. I've spent most of the last three days in an 85-90 degree office with no electricity, no A/C, no lights, and no WiFi. Nothing. I didn't have a hotel for two days. Very few restaurants were open. People were waiting in line for hours to get gas. I sweat through my clothes for three straight days. It felt like my brain was melting onto the table.

I know I'm being dramatic here, but I thought it would be fun to verbalize how I was feeling. Back to my original question: Do you ever think about how much we take for granted? I rejoiced when I had a real meal. I rejoiced when I checked into a hotel. I rejoiced when I felt the relief of A/C. I rejoiced when I had enough hotspot signal to use the internet. All these little take-it-for-granted conveniences of life felt like a luxury.

What if we lived our lives with that perspective? What if we truly appreciated how good we have it? A roof over our heads. A/C and heat to keep the temps stable. Our various pieces of technology that allow us to connect with the world. A working bathroom. Lights to see in the dark. Getting gas without waiting in 2-hour lines. Accessible food. A comfortable bed. What if we stopped taking for granted all these normalcies of life?

After all, we aren't far removed from a time before these things existed. I vividly remember a time without cell phones and WiFi. Some of you remember a time without TV. Many of you remember a time without A/C. We take all this for granted, to our own detriment.

Most of us have all our needs met.....and more. Yet, we so quickly turn ourselves into victims when we compare ourselves to people around us. We so easily conflate needs and wants. "I NEED that car." "I NEED a new phone." "I NEED a bigger house." We so quickly forget how good we really have it.

Today, I'm going to carry myself with a posture of gratitude, and I hope to do the same when I get home from Houston tonight. Most of us have everything we need, and more. Perhaps we should start acting like it.....

Inflicting Impact

I spent Monday trying to get to Houston WHILE a hurricane was pummeling the city (smart move, I know). Nearly every flight was canceled that day, but United re-booked me for a later flight that actually got me there safely. As I boarded my Denver-to-Houston flight, I chatted with a young man (maybe 16 or 17) trying to get home to Houston from a mission trip. Unfortunately, he was the victim of eight flight cancellations over the prior 18 hours. He looked beat up yet oddly optimistic. 

As we boarded the plane, he eagerly awaited his coveted exit row seat. "I've never sat in the exit row before!" Then, as he approached his seat, he disappointingly found a middle-aged man sitting there. They both had tickets for the same seat. The flight attendant quickly swooped in to sort out the confusion. After checking her records, the flight attendant informed the middle-aged man he had unknowingly been upgraded to first class. As he began to vacate his row, the middle-aged man looked at the kid and said, "Why don't you take my seat. Enjoy it!" "Are you for real?" asked the young man. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" The young guy had a massive smile on his face as he turned around and excitedly walked to the front of the plane. 

For the middle-aged man, this probably would have been his 120th time sitting in first class. He knew that. Deep down, I think a little light bulb went off for him, realizing a first-class seat would probably move the needle for the young man. I call this "inflicting impact." Using whatever resources we're blessed with to do the most good. All we have is all we have. It's so easy to get jealous of what a friend, family member, or co-worker has. But that doesn't do us any good. Further, when we dwell on what we don't have, we lose sight of what we do have. Once we become fully aware and present in what we do have, it's our responsibility to manage it well and maximize impact. In the case of that flight, this man used his upgrade to bless someone far more than he would have benefited from it. He inflicted impact with something he had. 

It was such a small gesture, yet I have a feeling that young guy will be sharing his wild story about how that one time he was on a mission trip and got eight flights canceled while trying to fly home in a hurricane, and some stranger generously let him sit in first class. That epic tale will be told for years!!!! Better yet, that sequence of events may even inspire that young man to unlock his own generosity in the days, weeks, and months to come. It's silly and far-fetched to think about, but that middle-aged man may have changed the trajectory of that young man's life. I know, I know, I'm a hopeless romantic……

……but what if?

Inflict impact. Use whatever you have, big or small, to move the needle for others. 

There’s Far More In You

Last summer, we at Northern Vessel were blessed with an invitation to sell our signature Oat Milk Cold Brew Lattes at the Downtown Des Moines Farmer's Market. If you've never been to the Des Moines farmer's market, it's quite the spectacle. It draws a massive crowd and is regularly named one of the country's top five markets. We were beyond excited to set up shop at the market, but had no idea what we were doing. What tents do we need? What about signs? What products should we serve? How should the process flow? What equipment do we need? So many questions to answer, with only one way to find out: test, tweak, repeat. We improved a lot over the course of the summer, eventually hitting a point where we consistently served 60-65 gallons each Saturday morning. The numbers became steady enough that it felt like we had hit our ceiling. It was a fun season, and we were grateful for every bit of it!

Entering the 2024 market season, we knew 60-65 gallons was roughly our ceiling. However, the tweak, test, repeat cycle is in our blood. We experimented with new equipment, different processes, and altered personnel roles. By the third week, we realized there was far more in us; we had unlocked an entirely new gear. That 60-65 gallons rose to 80, then 95, then 110, and eventually 120. 120 gallons of coffee in a five-hour stretch!?!? It was bonkers. That's more than five cups per minute for five straight hours…..unreal. We entered this year believing 60-65 gallons was our ceiling, but now we live in a reality of double that number. 

The crew celebrating their 120-gallon grind. Andrew, Michael, TJ (founder), and Jon.

I think about this a lot. There's far more in us than we believe. Whatever you think your ceiling is, double it. Heck, triple it. 10x?!?! I don't know what the real ceiling is, but I promise you it's much higher than you think it is.

It reminds me of a client I met with last week. They are an amazing young couple with a ton of student loan debt. They started with $115,000ish of combined student loan debt when they were engaged. Over a period of 3+ years, they paid off approximately $50,000. They were winning, but progress was painfully slow (for their taste). That's when they brought me into the fold. Deep down, they believed there was more in them, but it needed to be unlocked. They wanted this $65,000 of debt to die…..and die quickly. They aren't quite there yet, but the end is in sight (we have a debt-free celebration dinner planned for August!). When all is said and done, they will have paid off this last $65,000 in eight months. Eight months!!! There was far more in them.....and they unlocked it!

Like this young couple, there is far more in you! Whatever areas of life this may apply to you (you know which ones!), you deserve it. Find it. Test, tweak, repeat. Stay curious. Be confident. Keep growing. Know your purpose. Unlock it.

Keeping the Relationship Pure

Relationships and generosity, two of the most meaning-filled things in life. Typically, these two dynamics run parallel to one another. After all, both are a manifestation of love and compassion. They run parallel until, well, they don’t. Once in a while, a situation arises where the two can collide. 

My phone rings. Weird, it’s from a friend I haven’t spoken to in years. Let’s call them the Smiths. “Travis, we need your help,” exclaimed Mr. Smith. What unfolded in the subsequent minutes was a story about friendship. Not just any friend, but the Smiths’s nearest and dearest friends. Long story short, this family (a couple with a few young kids) was going through a significant financial struggle. Life was hitting hard, and it was beginning to take a toll on everyone involved. This situation moved the Smiths deeply. They felt an overwhelming calling to step in and serve their friends in some way. However, the magnitude of their ideas would potentially alter their relationship with their friends. 

The Smiths are an interesting couple. They carry themselves with humility and discretion. They have a modest house, older cars, and simple clothes…..very much a middle-class lifestyle. Behind the scenes, though, they are extremely blessed financially. Not many people know this, and they like it that way. It allows them to live a normal life, give ridiculously generously, and teach their kids right. 

Being the loving, compassionate, servant-hearted, and generous people they are, they had a wild idea. With the snap of their fingers, they could make their best friend’s financial struggle disappear. Doing so, though, created risk. Would their friends even accept the gift? Would their friends feel guilty? Would their friends feel like they owe them? Would their friends view them differently? There were a million ways adverse outcomes could arise from this well-meaning intention. 

That’s when my phone rang. “Travis, we need your help.” After discussing the situation, we came up with a creative way for them to anonymously help their friend without risking the relationship. Or, in the words of the Smiths, “keep the relationship pure.” We crafted a plan to facilitate a gift that would meet this family in their darkest hour.

Fast forward a few weeks, their friends received the financial miracle they never even imagined would come. It was a life-altering experience……for both couples. The recipient of radical, anonymous generosity felt so grateful, blessed, seen, and cared for. The giver of the radical, anonymous generosity felt a meaning in their life they have never expereinced before, especially with money. To put a cherry on top, the relationship remains pure.

Generosity always wins. Oh yeah, it also changes lives. Will you let generosity change your life today?

Cultivating the Next Generation of Stewards

One of the main questions I get asked about is how to teach kids about money. Most parents don't actually teach kids about money, and the ones who do typically do so in unhealthy ways. So, today I'll be sharing the way I recommend teaching it. First, I'll share a few key principles that I believe are essential:

• There are only three things we can do with money: spend, save, and give. All are equally important.

• Don’t give an allowance. Allowances teach kids entitlement. Instead, kids should be expected to do basic chores because that's what we do in our family: We serve each other and contribute.

• Aside from the normal chores, offer special projects that allow kids to take initiative, do good work, and be compensated for said work. This practice helps connect work, money, and the value of a dollar.

• It's critical to let our kids fail. They are either going to fail under our roof where we can help them navigate it, or we can protect them for 18 years, just for them to fail bigger (and without our presence) when they are adults. I repeatedly allow my kids to experience buyer's remorse, regret, and lack of resources to buy things. These are fantastic (and critical lessons) for our kids to learn.

• If you're a Christian, it's important to teach kids that money is not ours to begin with. Rather, it's His, and our job is to manage it well.

I typically view this kids-and-money topic as three stages:

Stage 1 - Age 2-6: During this stage, we're just trying to teach kids what money is and how it works. This is typically done through spending and giving. We can bless others through generosity, and we can use it to buy toys. I split the money 50/50 between the two categories. It's done very simply and at a higher level. Piggy banks are usually the tool of choice.

Stage 2 - Age 7-11: During this stage, we're trying to connect the dots between work and money by allowing the kids the opportunity to work in exchange for compensation. This is also the stage where saving for a larger purchase is introduced (delayed gratification!). Whenever I pay the kids for projects, I do so in multiples of three: $3, $6, $9, $12, $15, etc. That way, the kids can allocate 33% for spending, 33% for saving (on a larger item they select), and 33% for giving. My kids use wallets for spending, and separate zip-lock bags for saving and giving.

Stage 3 - Age 12+: During this stage, we teach kids about banking. We use the same principles as above, but at this level, we introduce checking and savings accounts. This is also the stage where they will probably seek outside work opportunities.

There’s definitely more to unpack in the future, but hopefully, this quick summary helps! I know a lot of you are trying to work through these dynamics. You got this, parents!

Thanks, Brook!….and AI

Last night, on my way home from a wedding, I received a text from my friend, Brook. He wanted to hang out. I told him I'd love to hang out, but I needed to get some writing done for the next day's blog when I got home. I jokingly added, "Well, unless you write it for me."

Two minutes later, he sent me a complete blog post. He simply opened his preferred AI tool and entered the prompt, "Can you write me a short blog post about taking advantage of time in the summer to find meaning; from different perspectives?" 30 seconds later, it provided him with a complete article built around his request. That's scary, isn't it? That's exciting, isn't it? That's weird, isn't it?

Two things are clear:

1) AI is rapidly changing our world.

2) AI is here to stay.

It's easy to wish it away or demonize it, but it's not going anywhere. We can choose to use it for good, or use it for evil. We are the ones holding the gun. In the coming weeks, I'll be sharing some thoughts on the AI revolution and how it relates to meaning and money. I'll start with a harsh critique it recently gave my podcast. I'm sure you'll love that!

Anyway, here’s Brook’s 30-second AI article (copied and pasted with zero edits). It’s pretty insightful….and scary. I think you'll enjoy:

FINDING MEANING IN THE SUMMER

Summer is a season of warmth, relaxation, and endless possibilities. It's a time when the days are longer, the nights are shorter, and the world seems to slow down just enough for us to catch our breath. But beyond the sun-soaked beaches and barbecues, summer offers a unique opportunity to find deeper meaning in our lives. Here are a few perspectives to inspire you:

The Adventurer's Perspective - For the adventurer, summer is a time to explore new horizons. Whether it's hiking through lush forests, camping under the stars, or embarking on a road trip to uncharted destinations, the spirit of adventure can lead to profound self-discovery. Embrace the unknown, challenge your limits, and let the journey itself become a source of meaning.

The Reflective Perspective - Summer's slower pace provides the perfect backdrop for reflection. Take time to sit by a tranquil lake, journal your thoughts, or meditate in a serene garden. Reflect on your past experiences, set intentions for the future, and find meaning in the quiet moments of introspection. This is a chance to reconnect with your inner self and gain clarity on your life's purpose.

The Social Perspective - Summer is also a season for connection. Reconnect with family and friends, host gatherings, and create lasting memories with loved ones. Meaning can be found in the laughter shared around a bonfire, the stories told during a picnic, and the bonds strengthened through shared experiences. Cherish these moments of togetherness and let them remind you of the importance of relationships.

The Creative Perspective - For the creatively inclined, summer is a canvas waiting to be filled. Whether you're painting, writing, photographing, or crafting, let the vibrant energy of the season fuel your creativity. Express yourself in new and exciting ways, and find meaning in the act of creation. Sometimes, the process of bringing something new into the world can be deeply fulfilling.

The Restorative Perspective - Finally, summer is a time for rest and rejuvenation. Allow yourself to slow down, take a break from the hustle and bustle, and focus on self-care. Whether it's lounging by the pool, reading a good book, or simply enjoying the sunshine, find meaning in the moments of relaxation. Remember that taking care of yourself is essential for finding balance and happiness.

No matter which perspective resonates with you, summer is a season ripe with opportunities to find meaning. Embrace the warmth, the light, and the possibilities, and let this summer be a time of growth, connection, and self-discovery.

His Greatest Hook Shot

A few days ago, I stumbled upon a news story on my social media feed. However, much to my shock, it wasn't a recent news story. It's actually five years old, but since it's new to me, perhaps it's new to you, too!

It was about Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. In case you aren't familiar with him, I'll give you the cliff notes version. Kareem is regarded as one of the best basketball players who ever lived. He was a fixture of the 1970s and 1980s NBA, primarily known for his signature sky hook. He's a 6x champion, 19x all-star, 6x MVP, and second all-time leading scorer in NBA history. It's safe to say he won a lot of hardware! For many, his face belongs on the basketball Mt. Rushmore.

The news article I saw wasn't about his on-the-court efforts. Rather, it was something he did off the court, long after he last laced up his sneakers. In 2019, Kareem reportedly sold a bunch of the previously-mentioned hardware, including his championship rings and MVP trophies. As a reminder, these items are iconic in the sports world....and practically priceless. Yet, he woke up one morning and decided to sell them to a bunch of strangers. In total, he collected about $2.8M for parting ways with these artifacts.

Why in the world would he do that?!?!? This is where the story gets good! He elected to sell these pieces of memorabilia so he could donate the proceeds to at-risk youth. Upon being questioned about this decision, he said: "When it comes to choosing between storing a championship ring or trophy in a room, or providing kids with an opportunity to change their lives, the choice is pretty simple. Sell it all. Looking back on what I have done with my life, instead of gazing at the sparkle of jewels or gold plating celebrating something I did a long time ago, I'd rather look into the delighted face of a child holding their first caterpillar and think about what I might be doing for their future. That's a history that has no price."

Kareem has every reason in the world to covet, cherish, and possess these trinkets of his success. Yet, he took the most counter-cultural and anti-materialistic approach possible: he sold it and blessed people.

Mission and memories. That's what I think of when I learn about these types of acts. Nobody can take away his athletic feats or accomplishments. Millions of people (mostly Lakers fans) will take to their graves the way Kareem made them feel. A trophy or ring doesn't define it....it already happened! So, the natural next step is to lean into the mission part. He used what he had to move the needle in other people's lives.

While we probably don't have trophies or championship rings worth millions lying in our nightstands, we all have something to give. Possessions are just things. Sure, they are cool. Sure, they are fun. But they are still just things. Meanwhile, mission and memories are forever.

Ready to Jump Back In

I hope you had a wonderful 4th of July yesterday. We had a blast. We spent the day in my hometown, which is known for its epic July 4th celebration. The day was jam-packed with fun events, tasty food, and, of course, fireworks. We're heading home later today, and I'll be attending the wedding of a former youth group kid tomorrow. To summarize, this is a pretty awesome weekend.

All that said, I'm ready to jump back into work. I have lots of good things in store next week, and I'm excited to get going. Truth is, I feel this most weeks. Even when I'm having the best weekend, I'm simultaneously looking forward to work. It's an odd and understandably counter-cultural reality.

Considering that 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs, it's obvious that most people don't have a similar perspective. The majority of people crave Fridays, dread Mondays, and find Sunday afternoon the most depressing time of the week. I'm fully aware of these dynamics and have spent time in this camp.

On the flip side, there's a growing number of people in my life who are pursuing a different sort of reality—the type of reality that allows them to enjoy their weekends and vacations but be equally excited to get back to work.

This is a hot take, but I believe this is a reality that everyone can have. I take a lot of flack for saying things like that, but I truly believe it. Work can have meaning. Work should have meaning. That doesn't mean work should replace our personal life in terms of fulfillment and meaning, but rather add to it. We don't have to choose one or another......we can (and should) have both.

Someday, when I'm gone (hopefully a long time from now), I hope one of the legacies I leave behind is this: the conviction, confidence, and commitment people have to pursue work that matters. This is one of my greatest purposes. There is no more fulfilling endeavor for me than to help people find the path of meaning—not meaning in their personal lives, but meaning... period. No matter what I accomplish, watching someone shift gears and fully pursue the life they were meant to live is the ultimate high.

If you're reading this and feel excited about what you'll be doing next week, congrats! That's a massive win, and I'm so encouraged by that. If you feel anything but excited about what's to come on the other side of this long holiday weekend, just know better is out there. I sincerely hope you gain the conviction, confidence, and commitment to find it. It's a difficult pursuit, but so, so worth it.