Remorse is Setting In
We had a rough moment in our house last night. Both boys mowed the yard, resulting in a little paycheck. As always, 1/3 goes to their giving ziplock, 1/3 goes to their savings ziplock, and 1/3 goes into their wallets for spending. They were eager to receive the fruits of their labor, but reality quickly struck.
As they each opened their wallets to deposit their spending cash, they were welcomed to an empty cavern where money used to live. They were immediately upset at the idea of having no spending money (except for the cash they just earned). Sarah reminded them that they spent all their money on the 4th of July. I could see disappointment and buyer's remorse take over their expressions.
If I'm being honest, I loved it. I'm so glad this happened! They need to feel this way. It's imperative they learn these lessons the hard way. It's critical they understand the importance of wise decision-making. It's a growth opportunity to experience the regret of past decisions at the expense of future opportunities. They were mad at us, but at the heart of it, they were mad at their past decisions.
As parents, we must subject our children to these types of painful situations. It's not hurting them; it's helping them. Allowing them to fail and experience consequences is an exercise of love. It takes nearly zero effort to give our kids whatever they want. That's the easy way out. The difficult path, however, is having the fortitude and confidence to allow our kids to fail when we have the power to rescue them.
There will be more work. There will be more money. There will be more fun purchases. Next time, though, perhaps they will approach their decisions with a bit more wisdom. 7-year-old wisdom, but wisdom nonetheless. That's the win!
Let the kids fail. Let them feel pain. Let them learn the hard way. That's the gateway to growth, wisdom, and a brighter, healthier future.
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