The Scales of Meaning
As I was writing yesterday’s post, I had a series of flashbacks. Flashbacks of tense conversations I’ve had with clients about significant life decisions. It reminds me of this:
Money is finite. Each month, there’s only so much of it to go around. For every dollar we spend on one thing, it’s one less dollar we can spend on another. While it’s true there are dozens of categories and thousands of transactions at play, sometimes it boils down to a few major decisions. That’s where the scale comes in. For the sake of this post, I’ll refer to them as the “Scales of Meaning.”
In yesterday’s post, I shared the story of new parents who both desperately wanted mom to stay home with their baby. However, as a result of their family’s financial structure, the only way to make it happen was to give up some combination of their big house, two luxury cars, and fancy trips.
When we place these options on the scales of meaning (cars/house/vacation one side, and staying home on the other), it shines a light into our soul. This couple repeatedly said that mom staying home is the most important thing. It’s one thing to say it, but another to place them on the scales of meaning. Once they are on the scale, we have a choice to make. Option A or Option B. Their decision will be the real answer. No more lip service. Words are cheap. What’s really most important? Turns out, this family’s lifestyle was actually more important than staying at home. She miserably and painfully stayed at work so they could continue to enjoy their fancy lifestyle.
The scales of meaning are a humbling tool. It forces us to put our money where our mouth is. Here are a few recent examples I’ve encountered:
Keep the car or unlock more family trips with the kids: They sold the car and started buying plane tickets.
Stay in the massive house or make a major career shift to pursue work that matters: They downsized their house, and he started working at a non-profit where he now inflicts much impact.
Continue to live a high-end lifestyle or send their kids to a Christian school (which isn’t cheap): They now live much more humbly and their kids go to a school they believe in.
Dad keeps his high-paying, long-hour job or he shifts so he can be more present in his children’s lives: They ultimately decided it’s okay to miss everything if he can “provide a better life.” Ouch!
The scales of meaning don’t discriminate. Rather, they expose us. They wipe away any façade we may portray to the world (or ourselves) and shine the light on what we truly value. It reveals what we truly value.
I encourage you to try it sometime. It’s a beautiful way to visualize our lives and the decisions set before us. It’s a humbling exercise, though. You’ve been warned!