The Confirmation of Mockery
One of my clients was disheartened when he walked into a recent coaching session. I could tell from the outset that something was amiss. When I asked him about it, he shared how his parents and friends were staunchly against his upcoming career shift. For context, this man spent the first five years of his career working in a field that's ripe with status, as well as a nice, juicy income trajectory. In short, his golden ticket had been punched, and it was only a matter of time before his income significantly rose. However, his heart wasn't in it. He was in the job for the wrong reasons; all the while, he had developed a keen understanding of his calling.
After much consideration and consternation, he decided to pull the trigger on a drastic career shift. This would require him to abandon the status and future income that was surely in store for him and trade it for something far less glamorous and anything but certain financially. Now, his parents and friends are heavily criticizing his decision, even going as far as mockery.
Not only did this hurt, but it also caused him to start second-guessing his decision. After spending enough time with him, there isn't a clearer example of someone who should be making this career shift than him. In everyone's defense, though, I get why it would be difficult to comprehend from an outside perspective. What he's doing is counter-cultural. He's also choosing meaning over money, which is a surefire way to draw heat from a culture obsessed with materialism and "security."
I told him that the mockery confirmed that he was right where he needed to be. He should wear it as a badge of honor. I know what it's like to be criticized—even mocked—for making counter-cultural decisions. I also repeatedly see it in my coaching. As I reflect on my recent coaching conversations, here's a handful of items people have been criticized or mocked for (oftentimes by the people closest to them):
Downsizing a home so one spouse can stay at home.
Having the audacity to grind through $100,000 of student loans and credit card debt.
Choosing to give away 30% of their income.
Selling a new-ish car and becoming a one-car family so they could create more financial margin.
Sending their kids to private school, knowing they will need to make many sacrifices to make it happen.
Saying "no" to a group vacation because they couldn't make it work in their budget.
Getting rid of their credit cards because they realized how much better their financial life would become without them.
Want to know my favorite criticism I received when I left my prior career? "Your kids deserve better." Ouch. That one hurt, especially coming from someone I deeply care about. While that was a painful comment, it was confirmation that I was doing the right thing. My kids do deserve better, but "better" doesn't mean more. More isn't better. Better is better. I'm actually glad this happened....it was exactly the confirmation I needed.
Let the mockery be your confirmation.
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