Get Your At-Bats

I was recently invited to speak to an organization called Ankeny Young Professionals. They are an offshoot of a local chamber of commerce. I’ve been in discussions with their leadership for more than a year, eagerly anticipating an opportunity to speak. Needless to say, I couldn’t be more excited. This is a huge opportunity for me, but not for traditional reasons. It’s not going to be a significantly large audience. The room won’t likely be filled with powerful CEOs. I’m not getting paid a ton of money (unless you consider $0 a lot!). 

Here’s why I’m excited for this one:

• Young professionals are my people! I serve many different groups of people, but for whatever reason, I connect well with them……and vice versa. 

• There will be a lot of familiar faces in the room. Acquaintances, friends, clients, and other people I’ve interacted with at some point. I never take for granted when people in my life take time out of their day to read, listen, watch, or absorb my content. It’s a true pleasure. 

• This opportunity gives me another at-bat. This right here, this is the gold!

It will be the third time formally delivering my new keynote talk. This talk is the culmination of more than 100 non-related talks, thousands of client meetings and conversations, and all my content over the last decade. The first time I delivered this talk, I did it poorly (I know I’m hard on myself). The second time I delivered it, I did it ok. What about this time? There’s only one way to find out!

That’s why at-bats are so important. Each time we step up to the plate, it’s an opportunity to hit a home run, strike out, or something in between. But the only way we can get better is by stepping up to that plate, fear and all. This is the reason I crave opportunities to practice my craft. Will I strike out? Maybe. Will I hit a homerun? It’s possible. But regardless of what happens, I promise I’ll get better.

This is the opportunity we each have today. No matter what you do or what you’re trying to become, nothing can replicate the power of stepping to the plate for another at-bat. Yes, it’s possible you’ll strike out. Yes, you might embarrass yourself. Yes, you might get humbled. Yes, your nightmares might come true. That’s all on the table. But the risk of those things coming true is the entry price to impact. It might be THE thing standing between you and where you want to be.

Are you interested in watching me take my next at-bat? The talk is on October 11th from 12:00-1:00 in Ankeny. If you’re hanging around central Iowa that day, I’d be so grateful and honored if you decide to spend your lunch with us. Tickets are $15 for non-members, which includes the cost of your lunch. So you’re maybe paying $5 to hear me speak…….I’m hoping to add way more value than that!

Cushion is Key

I'm notorious for pitching counter-cultural and seemingly contradictive ideas to my clients. Ideas such as:

• Stopping the use of credit cards makes our finances less risky and more streamlined.

• Creating more savings accounts makes our financial life simpler. 

• Spending more on our wants (with less guilt) creates better control and restraint on our finances. 

Another seemingly contradictive idea came up this week while I was on the phone with a client. We were discussing a separate issue when he said, "Travis, you were right." Whenever someone says, "Travis, you were right," I'm all ears. It always beats "Travis, I told you so."

The idea in question was my insistence that if we do budgeting the right way, we'll never again care what day a paycheck is coming or what day a bill is being paid. For millions of Americans, one of the biggest tension points in their finances is the fear x bill will be paid before y paycheck arrives. Most believe the answer is to make more money. I can testify this is entirely false. It doesn't matter how much money we make if we don't do it well. I've worked with clients making $25,000/month who have this problem, and I've worked with NFL players making 10x this who have this problem. 

If the solution isn't more income, what is? There are two pieces. First, we need a cushion in our checking account. When the month begins, we must have a certain amount in our checking account. Each family is different, but a cushion is key. Some families elect for a $2,000 cushion (where my family traditionally stands), while others aim for $5,000, $8,000, or even $10,000. I've even worked with one client who kept a $250,000 cushion (it's a long story with a fun ending). 

This money isn’t to spend….it’s to hold. This cushion removes most of the fear about the sequence of transactions. If there's an appropriate cushion, it doesn't matter if two large bills come out before that next paycheck. Going from $3,000 to $1,000 is a nothing burger compared to going from $500 to -$1,500. 

However, that's just half of the remedy. Here's the other half. We need to be intentional with our income. For example, if your family has $8,000 of income arriving this month, you need a plan to spend/save/give $8,000. Not more, and not less. Here's how the math works.

Beginning Balance: $3,000

Income: +$8,000

Spend/Save/Give: -$8,000

Ending Balance: $3,000

If done well, you'll end the month with roughly the same amount you started with. Along the way, you'll have funded your needs, wants, giving, saving, and investing with ALL your income. Then, when the next month comes around, you'll get to do it again. If we play this out for 20 years, you'll wake up on the first of the month with the same $3,000 cushion. 

Whoalla! If you follow these two steps, you'll never again think about timing. It's so simple, yet so powerful. Please let me know if you have any questions. I'd love to help!

Don’t Picture Them Naked

My crippling fear of public speaking is well documented. Years ago, I recognized the importance public speaking would have in my career. Speaking in front of clients, colleagues, investment committees, and the like. I didn't want that, but it seemed inevitable. As I started the process of overcoming my fear, I asked people for speaking advice and tips:

• Keep the mic close to my face.

• Don't pace back and forth.

• Don't talk for too long.

• Don't vomit within eyeshot of the crowd.

• Know your audience.

• Make eye contact.

• Picture them naked.

All of that was great advice…..until the whole naked part. Have you ever tried imagining the person you were talking to was naked? Never mind, don't answer that. So many people gave me that advice. Sure, sure, I'll just picture hundreds of people sitting shoulder-to-shoulder, naked, attentively watching me speak. Nothing weird about that. Yeah, that sounds like a perfectly normal and rational scenario. 

It's safe to say I didn't utilize this piece of advice. However, a slightly different version of this advice significantly altered my perspective while on stage. It has nothing to do with the garments the crowd is or isn't wearing. Rather, it's about why they are there and what they are thinking. 

Here's what someone once told me. The audience WANTS the speaker to succeed. The audience is cheering for them. Why? Nobody wants to be part of a train wreck. Nobody wants to personally endure the unwinding of someone's reputation and dignity. Further, the audience WANTS to experience something powerful and impactful. Otherwise, they are just wasting their time. In other words, most people in those seats are our advocates. It's simply our job to deliver well and affirm what they are already hoping for.

When I learned this, and actually believed it, it changed everything! In the years since hearing this perspective, I started adopting it in other areas of my life. Sure, there will absolutely be people in our life who get jealous. There's no way around that. However, I've found most people in my life want me to succeed. They want to cheer me on. They want to be part of something cool, not a dumpster fire. On the flip side, I feel the same way about people in my life. I get even more satisfaction and joy out of watching my people thrive. I'm one of their biggest fans, and I want them to know it. 

Knowing people are on our side can change everything. First, know you aren't alone. People are rooting for you. Let them rally around you and hold you up when you can't hold yourself up. Second, be sure to let people in your life know that you have their back, believe in them, and are their biggest cheerleader. It makes a world of difference!

You Have Two Choices Today

It's scientifically proven that 4PM on Sunday afternoon is the most depressing hour of the week. We've had a fun weekend, had lots of good food, spent time with people we care about, and haven't thought too much about work. But the weekend is winding down, and we realize tomorrow is quickly approaching. Considering 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs, the reminder of tomorrow is a sobering moment! Thus, 4PM is the most depressing hour of the week.

As you begin your Monday, you have two choices. First, you can choose misery. I get it. You don't like your job, you don't feel adequately paid, your boss is a jerk, you don't feel like you're making a difference, and/or it bores you to death. Most people can relate to some combination of those feelings. Your mere presence at work feels depressing. You'd rather be anywhere but there. You count down the time, find ways to distract yourself, and do whatever it takes to numb the feelings until it's time to go home. That's option 1.

Here's the second option. You can choose to be grateful for your work. Whatever you're getting paid, you can be grateful for the opportunity to make a living today. Instead of dwelling on how much the job sucks, you can consider the value you add to other people's lives. Your customers, your co-workers, and your bosses. You can think about the broader mission you're helping to accomplish, and the lives being impacted.

It's about whether the glass is half full or half empty. Our perspective of the glass can be a massive driver of how we feel about our jobs. If we believe our work is good, even if the job kinda sucks, it will provide some level of fulfillment. A slight shift in perspective can change everything. Alternatively, we can dwell on the negative and spin ourselves into a hole of pity and misery. This is where many live.....and I've been there! These are the choices you have today. Two choices with two vastly different outcomes.

Taking a step back, you have bigger choices to make. Do you really want to wake up in that same job tomorrow? If not, you have a different sort of choice to make. Remember, not making a choice is still a choice. If you really hate your work, today is a great day to start finding something different. Put yourself out there. Risk getting ignored. Risk having a bad interview. Risk getting turned down. Risk starting a new job that also sucks. Risk it, because the risk is worth it.

But today? Today, you have two choices. You can approach your day with a positive attitude, and possibly have a good, fulfilling, productive day. Or you can approach your day with misery, all but guaranteeing a terrible, empty, and exhausting day.

I encourage you to choose optimism.....then get about the business of finding something that better suits you. You deserve it!

The Years Are Indeed Too Short

"The days are long, and the years are short."

This phrase was said to me multiple times when my kids were infants. I definitely understood the "days are long" part. With newborn twins, just the 16 bottles per day part felt long. On the other hand, I didn't fully understand the "years are short" part. Everything just felt long....and exhausting.

The boys turned seven yesterday, and we had a great day celebrating. Soccer game, roller skating, ice cream cake....lots of fun stuff. Wow, the years are indeed short. The twos and threes stage felt brutally slow, but they went from four to seven in what seemed like a month. I once read that 75% of all the time we spend with our kids will happen by the time they turn 12. Yikes! That's a staggering statistic. And a depressing one, at that.

Money can buy a lot of things, but it can't buy back lost time. It can buy houses, cars, and technology, but it can't give us back the time, memories, and moments we lost. Over the last few years, as I began to realize the years go by far too fast, I thought I had a solution. I thought if I just tried really hard to live in the moment, it would make time slow down. Turns out it doesn't work like that. Therefore, I eventually conceded that time will fly by no matter what we do, so we might as well embrace it for its rapidly moving beauty.

Happy birthday to Finn and Pax, and I'm excited to experience whatever time I'm blessed to have left with them. It's days like yesterday when meaning over money becomes even more glaring and obvious. Leaving my prior career and starting over 4.5 years ago was one of the scariest decisions of my life. I felt reasonably confident in my decision when I first made it, but that decision has been affirmed over, and over, and over again through the years. Not because it's been easy (it's actually the hardest thing I've ever done), but rather because it matters.

If you're ever teetering on the fence of meaning vs. money, look your children in the eyes. It only takes about 0.2 seconds to realize which side of the fence we should land. Meaning. Always meaning.

Have Your Cake and Eat It, Too

Meaning doesn't pay the bills, or so I'm told. When I advocate for pursuing meaning over money, I typically receive criticism. I get called privileged, naive, short-sighted, and sometimes stupid.

However, I think there's a misunderstanding about this entire meaning vs. money conversation. We don't have to choose between meaning and money. I'm just asking people to choose meaning. If we choose money, there's a chance we find it. If we choose meaning, we will absolutely find it.....and we may even find some money along the way. Here's why. When we pursue meaning, we're likely pouring our blood, sweat, tears, gifts, passions, and energy toward something we believe in. If that's true, we can't help but have some level of success.

This is a significantly better outcome than waking up each day to tolerate or despise what we're about to do. In other words, most people who pursue meaning will ultimately make more money (in the long run) than those who simply chase the money. It's one of the greatest ironies of work and money. Choosing meaning does NOT condemn us to a life of poverty. Choosing meaning does NOT mean we're neglecting our family. Choosing meaning does NOT mean we're going to live a difficult life. I'd argue the opposite, actually.

There's a reason I brought this topic up today. Just this week, two of my clients experienced major job shifts. In an effort to pursue meaning, both accepted jobs that better align with their values and definitions of meaning. Oh yeah, they both received $20,000+ annual increases from what they previously made. So they both have more meaningful work AND make more money doing it.

Fear. Fear is typically the biggest obstacle in pursuing meaning. Change is hard. A known terrible is still better than a likely (but uncertain) good. It's like drinking semi-rotten milk. It tastes awful, and the alternative is probably much better, but there's also a chance it could be completely rotten. People would rather sip on their tolerable semi-rotten milk, and know what they're getting, than take a small risk that it could be worse. That's the funny thing about us humans. We fear a negative outcome far more than we get excitable for a positive outcome. The fear of the unknown is always worse than the reality of the known.....even when the known absolutely sucks.

I'm thrilled my clients were willing to take that chance. They had the courage and the conviction to make a drastic change, and they are mightily blessed because of it. They wake up each day excited for what they're about to do AND make more money for their families. It's a beautiful outcome to a very intentional decision. The decision to simply choose meaning. I couldn't love it more!

How To Get Rich

One of my former youth group kids had a question for me. It was a very clear, direct, and commonly asked question. "What's the best way to build wealth?" I get this question all the time, so I gave him my absolute best answer. Two answers, actually:

1. Pursue meaningful work

2. Always be generous

Confused, he asked a follow-up question. "How will those things help me build wealth?"

"They won't, but they will give you a rich life. That's what you're looking for, right?"

This was the beginning of a wonderful conversation. Without rehashing the entire thing, it led us down a fun road about the purpose of money. He, like so many, equate more money with a better life. In other words, if he can create wealth for himself, he'll have a great life. If he doesn't, he might not.

What I wanted him to take away was this. Wealth is just that, wealth. In and of itself, it provides nothing. I know many wealthy people who live poor lives. On the flip side, a rich life is a rich life. Living a rich life doesn't necessarily require lots of money. A rich life is accessible to all, regardless of education, income, age, or status. Even better, the prerequisites to living a rich life are simple: pursue meaningful work and always be generous. There are obviously more components to a rich life, but if we practice just those two things, there's a high likelihood we'll lead a rich, fulfilling, meaningful life.

Before I close the book on this post, please hear me out. I'm NOT advocating for us living a life of poverty. We must find a way to provide for our family and pay for basic needs. Without that, it will most certainly be a challenging and laborious road. What I'm speaking about here is the choice between having enough and having more than enough. Having enough unlocks the possibility of a rich life. The pursuit of more than enough will often sabotage our ability to live the rich life we are seeking. 

Hope this gives you something to think about today. Have an awesome day!

I Don’t Deserve Anything

I have a confession to make. Something recently triggered me. In my line of work, I bring empathy to the table. I have a ton of grace for people and endeavor to walk alongside them, no matter what they are going through. I've worked with couples teetering on homelessness, and couples with tens of millions of dollars. No matter where someone is in their journey, my mission is to serve them well, with compassion. For this reason, it's rare for me to get worked up. But it recently happened with a close friend. I regret getting triggered, so I thought the best way to process it is in front of thousands of people on a blog. So here we go!

It was a discussion about whether or not this Christian man (and his family) should sell their house and buy something better. By better, I mean 5,000+ square feet, indoor basketball court, amazing pool, private movie theater, and a myriad of other bells and whistles. Here's the part that triggered me: "She deserves it." By "she," he was referring to his wife, and by "it," he was referring to one of the nicest houses you'll ever see. 

"She deserves it." Does she? Really?!?! Does he? They can absolutely buy this house if they want to. There's nothing inherently evil about doing so. But where does deservedness come into play? 

When I think about my life, my family, and my journey, I don't think I deserve anything. I'm grateful for everything we have, but never in a million years would I take the posture that I deserve any of it. Yes, we work hard....but that doesn't mean I deserve it. Yes, we've made wise choices.....but that doesn't mean I deserve it. Yes, I can afford some things.....but that doesn't mean I deserve it. 

This isn't even my money to begin with. As a Christian, I believe everything I have is His. It's my job to manage it on His behalf. It's a responsibility and opportunity I don't take lightly. While I'm here, it will be managed well. When I'm gone, it will be given away for a greater purpose. 

But to deserve a massive house nicer than 99% of people in this country (or 99.99% of people worldwide)? That one triggered me. While we're on the topic of deservedness, I have a few alternative ideas. Here's a short list of people who deserve something:

• People all around the world who barely get enough food to survive. 

• Single moms fighting to make ends meet, barely hanging on. 

• Abused, neglected, and abandoned children who don't have guardians who love them.

• Traffic victims who are ripped away from their lives and forced into a sick and twisted reality.

• _______________ (your example here).

We have options. Sure, we can buy that huge house we want but absolutely don't deserve. That's on the table. Or we can use the resources we're blessed with to serve others. It's a weighty decision we each must make.

Puzzle Pieces

This is a puzzle piece from one of Finn's puzzles. What do you see? 

Here's what the full puzzle looks like:

Did you get it right? Were you even close? That's the fun part about puzzles. Each piece, on its own, means something different (or perhaps nothing at all). But when all the pieces are arranged together, it creates something beautiful. 

Yesterday, I posted about a woman I know who buys a $7 latte each morning. I explained why she does it and how it's about something bigger than a cup of coffee to her. I can usually tell when my posts will be controversial and/or cause pushback. I didn't smell this one coming. When I finished a string of meetings, I was met with an inbox full of responses (I always love your feedback, by the way!). The replies were entirely one-sided.....veering hard negative. Sentiments such as how wasteful she is, how selfish she appears, how materialistic she's behaving, and how bad of a steward she is with her money. 

What I gave you was a single puzzle piece. Many looked at that single puzzle piece and drew their own conclusion about what the entire puzzle looked like. Just like my example above, it's difficult to ascertain the beauty of this puzzle from just one piece. Here's what I'd like to do. I'm going to let you see a few more pieces of this puzzle, then give you a second chance to guess what the full puzzle looks like:

• This woman works in full-time ministry, serving single mothers and their children.

• This woman and her husband have been fostering kids for over a decade.

• This woman is actively engaged in her local church, serving in various areas.

• This woman and her husband drive older cars and live in a very average house. 

• Based on my limited knowledge, I suspect this family gives at least 15-20% of their annual income. 

• This woman is adored by many, which likely stems from how much love and encouragement she constantly pours out to others. 

• Oh yeah, and she buys a $7 latte each morning. 

We're quick to judge others through the lens of our values, our interests, and our limited visibility of their life. But that's the problem. We're looking at it through our lens, not theirs....and we only get to see a few pieces of their puzzle. This woman lives quite conservatively, yet buys a nice coffee each morning. That doesn't make her evil. That makes her unique. This is what makes meaning over money so special. It looks different in every person's life. 

I think the message today is two-fold. First, we should resist the urge to judge people (or their decisions) when we can only see a few pieces of their puzzle. Without proper context, we have no idea what's truly going on. Second, it's ok if your puzzle pieces don't all look alike. It's not until they get fully assembled that they create something beautiful. 

The World’s Greatest Bargain

One of my friends buys a $7 latte every day. When I say every day, I mean every day. During the week, it's usually in the morning. On the weekends, it's either late morning or early afternoon. When she talks about her $7 lattes, her face lights up. She can go on and on and on about her lattes and how much value they add to her life.

Sounds pretty odd, eh? Yeah, I'd have to agree with you. Super weird. Except she's not actually talking about lattes. Sure, she does get a $7 latte every day, but it's not really about the latte. For her, it's about far more than a shot of espresso, milk, and syrup. To her, it's a ritual that signifies the blessing of another day to live. It's the relationships she's built with the staff and other customers. It's spending time in an environment that's uplifting and life-giving. It's finding the little joys in life, and then leaning hard into them. It's spending time with people she cares about and sharing her journey with them. It's meeting strangers and making new friends. It's showing generosity to others through simple acts of kindness.

Money is never about money…..it’s always about something bigger. To this woman, she's not buying a coffee. She's investing in something deeper. Yeah, it adds up to a relatively large expense each month. But if you were to ask her (which I have), she'd tell you her coffee ritual is the world's greatest bargain.

This isn't me advocating for everyone to go buy $7 lattes every day. Far from it. Rather, I'm advocating that we find the little joys in life and lean as hard into them as my friend leans into hers. I'm advocating that we look past the surface level of simply exchanging money for a product. I'm advocating that we focus on the meaning, not the money.

My friend is joyfully and confidently living out an important principle when it comes to life and money. She understands it at a deep level. The irony is that most people look at her and silently judge her as being irresponsible, superficial, and short-sighted. I don't think she cares, though. She's just living her best and most meaningful life.

Jumping Off the Treadmill

I experienced a very profound moment in my life around 2015. It was a few years after paying off our $236,000 of debt. Sarah and I were still in the midst of our fertility battle, but optimistic about possibly adopting a child soon. My career was thriving. And I was making many multiples of income from what I previously made. Reflecting on how blessed my life was, I couldn't help but feel it wasn't enough. It was all just, well, normal. 

This is the season of life where I started pondering what would eventually become Meaning Over Money and my new career. It's also when I started digging deep into the behavioral science of money, work, and happiness. 

The Hedonic Treadmill. I talk about this concept in my keynote, but it also leaks out in many other areas of my work. You may have heard it on the podcast, read it here, or caught it during an interview I gave. The topic comes up often, as it plays a critical role in our lives. In short, the Hedonic Treadmill is a phenomenon by which anything that happens to us, good or bad, becomes normal. We experience up-front pain or euphoria, but in a matter of weeks, we're back to being normal (albeit a new version of normal).

I've experienced the Hedonic Treadmill many times in life. Also, I watch many clients work through it in their own lives. What's interesting is how people interact with it differently IF they recognize it's happening. 

This leads me to a few recent observations:

• I was meeting with a young couple who make around $75,000 combined. Through the course of the conversation, they reveal their desire to get that number to $100,000. Why? Because that's the number that will allow them to feel confident financially.

• I was having a drink with a friend. He mentioned he makes around $120,000 per year, but it feels tight. In his opinion, if he could get it closer to $150,000, they would be set. 

• I spent some time with another couple who frustratingly vented that their $200,000 income wasn't enough anymore. They didn't know the appropriate number, but it's definitely more than $200,000.

• One of my friends proclaimed a family can't survive in this town with an income of only $335,000. 

Several studies have been done over the years around the question of "What is enough?" Well, what is enough? In the overwhelming majority of cases, it's more than whatever their current situation looks like. It's the Hedonic Treadmill in action! 

Back to that profound moment I experienced in 2015. One of the revelations I had during that season was this. Despite making many multiples of my younger self's income, I didn't feel any happier. My younger self wouldn't have believed what older Travis was making, yet it was just "normal" for me as I was living it. The Hedonic Treadmill was kicking my butt.

I had to jump off the treadmill. Do you, too?

___ Months For the Rest of Your Life

Though I share a lot of stories on this blog and on the podcast, not all stories are created equal. Some stick with me, or dare I say, haunt me. One such story involves a couple I met with nearly a decade ago. This couple had been struggling with debt for the entirety of their marriage. You could cut the tension with a knife. The financial stress of the debt altered their life decisions and impaired their marriage. In short, they were miserable.

By the end of the meeting, I had created a clear, simple, and achievable plan to get them debt-free in about 18 months. It wouldn't be easy, but I knew they could do it. I assumed they would be excited about the prospect of freeing themselves from these financial handcuffs, but there was a silence in the room. After a few moments, the wife chimes in, "I'm not giving up 18 months of my life." "It's 18 months for the rest of your life! You'll have more than 50 years on the other side of the debt," I replied. She simply wasn't having it. They weren't going to cut back on their lifestyle.....period. They eventually walked out of the room, discouraged and defeated.

Five or six years later, I ran into them in public. It was the first time we had a real conversation since they left that meeting. When I asked them how things were going, they opened up about how things had only worsened. Not only had they not freed themselves from the debt, but they were in deeper and even more miserable. They both hated their jobs and felt stuck in many areas of life. They didn't want to "give up" 18 months of their life, but what they were subjecting themselves to was a far worse sentence than a little sacrifice and discipline for 1.5 years. I think about them a lot.

I was reminded of them a few nights ago when meeting an awesome young couple. This couple also has a bunch of debt. It feels intense, overwhelming, and life-altering. However, there's a different kind of energy about them. They are approaching it with determined excitement. When I said, "It's ____ months for the rest of your life," they responded with genuine excitement. What they are about to do will be so simple, yet so hard. But they are up for the challenge. Please pray for this young couple and their journey. I have a feeling they are about to write an amazing story. It will be a grind for this season of life, but that good work will unlock the next 60+ years in a way they can't yet understand. I'm grateful to play a small role in their journey.

Encourage the young people in your life. They need it, and they deserve it. They aren't victims of circumstance. They aren't condemned to a less-than-life. They aren't slated for failure. They just need to know it's possible.

The 3-Pare Challenge

These last few months have felt like a whirlwind. It's not necessarily because I'm too busy, but rather because I'm too busy with too many different things. I'm notorious for overcommitting myself. I habitually say "yes" to all sorts of awesome and unique opportunities. I learned that the more unique opportunities we say "yes" to, the more unique opportunities avail themselves to us. These are inherently good things. They allow us to use our giftedness, passion, influence, relationships, experience, and resources to make a difference. At the heart of it, I'm just saying yes to fantastic things for earnest reasons.

One problem. There can be too much of a good thing. I've spent the past 15 years having too much of a good thing(s). Whenever I hit that point, I eventually recognize that a) I'm completely burned out, b) I'm not able to give my best, and c) not all of these endeavors are the right place for me to be in this season.

Several years ago, my friend Dan could sense I was significantly overwhelmed by all I had placed on my plate. In an effort to help me, he challenged me to pare down my plate by getting rid of three things. He gave me a week to do it. I immediately said no, but he's not a take-no-for-an-answer type of guy. He demanded I let go of three things. Reluctantly, I obliged. I stepped away from three things that I genuinely cared about. One was a board position, the other was a volunteer opportunity, and the third was an extra initiative at work. I hated letting them go (they are good things, after all), but I knew deep down Dan was right.

Fast forward a few weeks, and we received a call that would change our lives forever. We were about to become parents to twin baby boys. I was going to become a father! I met Finn and Pax a few days later. Life moves fast, and I'm grateful Dan forced me to pare down my life. Never in a million years would I imagine that's how it would all play out.

This is another season where I need to execute the 3-pare challenge. I just came up with that name....I can't tell if I love it or hate it. Either way, three things must go. My family, my clients, my team, and my ministries depend on it. More than that, I need it to stay healthy. As before, I have no idea what I need to pare. None of it will be easy, but when I figure it out, I know it will be the right thing.

What about you? Do you need to practice the 3-pare challenge? What three things can you let go of. Not so you can make less impact, but rather make more impact on the remaining stuff and stay healthy in the process. I hope you give it a shot. It's scary, but worth it.

When Responsibilities Collide

As expected, I received a ton of pushback after my credit card post a few days ago. The number one response I get whenever I discuss this topic is the following: people just need to be responsible with credit cards. Another version: Credit cards can be a useful and beneficial tool IF they are used responsibly. What does it mean to be "responsible?" Here's the definition:

Responsible: having an obligation to do something, or having control over or care for someone, as part of one's job or role.

This makes a lot of sense. When we use a credit card, we need to be responsible by making payments on time and paying back what we've borrowed. We have an obligation to do so. I'm tracking. I believe the vast majority of Americans understand this responsibility. When people pull out the plastic and swipe it, they are well aware of the obligations and responsibilities at play. 

Life is full of responsibilities. Paying the credit card bill is a biggie. There are a bunch of other critical responsibilities on the table as well:

• Pay the mortgage/rent

• Put groceries on the table

• Clothe our growing kids

• Maintain and fuel our vehicles

• Health insurance and co-pays for medical services

• Ensure we have working utilities such as water and electricity

So many responsibilities!

When life is going well, we find the balance between the many obligations in our household. Shelton, food, clothing, transportation, medical care, and a long list of other needs (plus hopefully some wants). 

But what happens when life doesn't go smoothly? What happens when the car breaks down and we need to repair it? What happens when a kid gets sick or breaks an arm? What happens when the furnace goes out and it's too cold in our house? What happens when we lose a job and the income associated with it?

The moment we face tensions in life, our responsibilities collide. People don't get behind on their credit card bills because they are being irresponsible. Rather, it's because they ARE trying to be responsible. If we have the choice between eating and not eating, we're pulling that credit card out. If the furnace is broken and our family is getting cold, we're using whatever means possible to get it working again. If the car breaks down and it's the only way we're able to get ourselves to work, you better believe we're getting that repair done. If the landlord or mortgage company starts asking for their monthly payment (or else!), we sure as heck will step up and make that payment. 

In those moments, we have choices to make. Difficult, painful, and often embarrassing choices. And as I always say, credit cards are the path of least resistance. Not to be irresponsible with debt, but to be responsible for providing our family's basic needs. 

Does that context change your perspective? I hope so. But if not, I still love you and am grateful for your willingness to read each day. 

A Bad Mow Is Better Than No Mow

As I got home yesterday afternoon, something drew my eye to my backyard. What I saw wasn't pretty. The grass was short and gray, but the weeds were tall and green. It looked like an absolute disaster. I'd show you a picture, but not even I'm willing to incriminate myself that badly. To sum it up, the state of my yard was a perfect combination of traveling for 8 of the last 12 weeks, long stretches of brutal heat, and a significant lack of available time on my part. I'm not proud of it, but realize how I got here.

Truth is, I've had some windows to make progress on the yard and similar projects. However, these windows would not have allowed me to do it well. So instead of choosing done, I decided to wait for perfect.....which never came. Last night, though, Pax and I mowed the yard together. He had a blast and worked hard, but he's a terrible mower, just like his brother. It doesn't look great today, but it looks WAY better than before we mowed it. A bad mow is better than no mow.

It reminds me of the wise words of my business partner, Cole. "Done is better than perfect." It's a motto he lives by. I also try to implement it in my life, but in cases like my recent yard debacle, I whiffed. This concept applies to many areas of life. 80% is always better than a future (but not likely) 100%.

Budgeting is much the same. Even if we screw up a few categories, we're way better off than had we thrown caution to the wind. It's better to miss the target by a measurable margin than to throw our hands in the air and dismiss the mission altogether.

If we have a few dozen financial transactions to categorize, even knocking down a portion of them is better than waiting until we can do them all. In the meantime, more transactions will stack up, making completing the task progressively harder and more intimidating. Next thing we know, we're so far behind that we just give up. In an effort to get it perfect, we self-sabotage and fail to get it done at all. This is a common problem encountered by clients. As a solution, I suggest they find small 5-minute blocks throughout the week and knock out small pieces. It doesn't lead to a perfect outcome, but they make steady progress along the way, allowing for the possibility of being done. This can be a massive win.

Insert whatever financial topic you want here. Budgeting, investing, saving, or giving. Or insert whatever non-financial topic you want here. Writing that book, the house projects, the old friend you've been meaning to reconnect with, or the fun hobby you're excited to crush. We can wait until the perfect time (which probably won't come), or make imperfect progress. I've learned this lesson the hard way enough times.....I'm ready to just be done.

The Long Tail of Impact

We live in an instant-gratification society. If we do something, we want to see immediate results. If we work hard, we want that promotion now. When we put our product into the world, we want people to buy it today. When we make a financial investment, we want quick returns.

On the flip side, not seeing quick results can be demoralizing. We may think we're doing the right thing, but nothing happens.....yet. The problem is we don't wait for the yet. We're so busy trying to get the high of gratification that we fail to see the forest through the trees.

In the wise words of my friend TJ, we need to be "aggressively patient." We can't do things expecting immediate results. Rather, we must do things because it's the right thing to do......then trust good will come from it. Like this blog. By the time November 14th comes around (the one-year anniversary of my daily writing), I'll have invested somewhere between 150-200 hours of my time. I will have published the equivalent of three full non-fiction books. What will come of it? I have no idea, but I trust it's already happening. I may never know the impact this blog is having, and that's ok. It's not really about me. It's about sharing whatever I have to offer the world, then trusting it's going where it needs to go.

I had a blast-from-the-past interaction last week. It was someone I hadn't talked to in nearly a decade. He reached out to me asking if we could chat. I was excited to catch up and learn about where life had taken him over the last 10 years. He talked about some monumental shifts he made in his life and career. I congratulated him and told him how happy I was for him.

"You don't remember, do you, Travis?" Remember what?!?! He went on to share about a conversation we had over coffee more than a decade ago, where I encouraged him and gave him some advice about possible next steps and perspective. He said my words that day gave him the confidence to do what he knew deep down he needed to do. Fast forward a decade, he's built an amazing company where he employs more than 200 people. I had no idea! He shared how he's living his best life and goes home every day, fulfilled by what he accomplished.

Truth is, I don't remember that conversation he and I shared all those years ago. I totally believe I said what he said I did......that sounds an awful lot like me. It was a sweet moment getting to hear about how my small investment in him yielded such wonderful fruit. This is the opposite of instant gratification. It's the long tail of impact. We do little things every single day that may be making a difference, but it may take months, years, or even decades to see the fruit of it....if ever.

Cool idea to think about, eh? Keep investing!

The Path of Least Resistance

As a kid, I was fascinated by the section in science class where they showed images of how rivers changed shape over time. As sediment is carried and eventually dropped, the speed and direction of the water flow shifts, carving a different path into the earth. The water constantly follows the path of least resistance.

Human behavior is much the same way. Whenever we have an array of options in front of us, we're likely to select the path of least resistance. We can get out of bed, drive to the gym, and get a workout in......or just stay in bed for another hour. The path of least resistance. We can prepare lunch the night before work.....or we can just grab a sandwich at the deli next to our office. The path of least resistance.

This is one of the many reasons I suggest clients cancel their credit cards. This suggestion is often met with eye-rolling and a staunch defense that includes something like "I'm always responsible with it." These comments are typically combined with defenses revolving around the benefit of points, the fact they pay them off every month, the perception they are safer, and the fact they are building credit.

One problem. Eventually, the path of least resistance will come into play. Two families in my life are living this reality as we speak. I've suggested for years that both these families cancel their credit cards. One family doesn't even use them....hasn't for years. It's "just in case," and that's what I'm afraid of.

As I always say, credit cards seem like our friend.....until they become our worst nightmare. Fast forward a few years, and both families are facing financial challenges. It's a combination of medical, auto, house, and job-related situations. Both of these families handle their money relatively well. They've made good decisions and are going in the right direction. One problem, though. They still have active credit cards. Just like the sediment in rivers, financial challenges will cause us to seek the path of least resistance. After all, pain hurts. Stress sucks. Tension puts a strain on relationships. There's a simple way around all that. It's the path of least resistance. Out comes the credit card.

We're going to use it just this one time, though. Well, maybe just the things we need. Then it shifts to putting everything on there because seeing our savings dwindling is scary. But just this month. Next month we'll get on top of things and back to normal. Except the path of least resistance didn't actually make this better. It just dropped more sediment, causing us to push deeper into the path of least resistance. Fast forward a few months, and our reality looks much different. We went from the family who said, "credit cards are great if we use them responsibly," to another statistic. Tens of thousands of dollars in expensive debt, in the snap of your fingers.

My heart breaks for what these families are now dealing with.

It's Like Riding a Bike

"It's like riding a bike." I use that phrase all the time. It's one of the most tried and true principles of human behavior. I've been saying this phrase for years, but it took on a new life a few years ago when my boys were learning to ride a bike. There was lots of anger, tears, blood, and frustration. Then, like the flip of a switch, they knew how to ride a bike.....and the rest is history.

Our church has a tradition of rallying all the volunteers for a team huddle 30 minutes before the first service. There, someone shares a few announcements and a short message/story, then closes in prayer. It's a great way to start the day. I had the privilege of doing yesterday's message. To my surprise, several people approached me afterward to compliment me on it (including our head pastor, whom I deeply admire). I've given this mini-message lots of times, but don't usually get that much feedback.

Here's the kicker: I was asked to do the message about 90 seconds before the huddle started. The person who was supposed to do it couldn't, so the leader asked me to step in. I was happy to do it and exhilarated with the idea of creating a message in under two minutes. It was one of the highlights of my day.

That's not naturally who I am, though. 10 years ago, the mere idea of talking in front of 50 people, in any capacity, would have made me vomit. Five years ago, I could have done it, though I would have done so with a fair amount of anxiety and would have needed a few days to prepare myself. Two years ago, I could have done it with an hour's notice. Today, I can figure it out in less than 90 seconds and go into it excitedly. It's like riding a bike. Truly. Repetition matters. Repetition of speaking in front of an audience and repetition of creating. When I write seven blogs and record two podcasts every week, finding ideas and bringing them to life becomes second nature. At first, it was tough, but now it's just what I do. It's like brushing my teeth in the morning. Or getting dressed. Or maybe, just maybe, it's like riding a bike.

I believe in this principle so much, and it applies to many areas of our life. I see it with my clients all the time. I ask them to do things well outside their comfort zone and expertise. At first, it's difficult. Then, after more repetition, something clicks, and it becomes second nature. It's like riding a bike! Whether it's budgeting, investing, communicating with your spouse, building a new skill, creating that new business, or putting your ideas into the world, you're just a handful of repetitions away from an entirely new reality. A reality where you confidently step into the areas that are important to you. It's like riding a bike.

Tailgating Economics Don't Have to Make Sense

I've always been fascinated by college football tailgating. Growing up in NW Illinois, college sports weren't really a thing. It was Bulls, Bears, Cubs, Sox, and Blackhawks. That's it. It wasn't until I was a freshman at Iowa State that I was exposed to the spectacle of tailgating.

Hundreds of thousands of people gathered in thousands of individual set-ups, circling a single stadium. If the game starts at 11AM, people start tailgating at 7AM. If the game starts at 2PM, people start tailgating at 7AM. And if the game starts at 6PM, people start tailgating at 7AM. There's busses, RVs, food, music, games, beverages, and even big-screen TVs broadcasting other games.

Needless to say, people spend an enormous amount of time, energy, and money to fulfill their tailgating endeavors. It's nothing short of astounding the lengths people will go to enhance their tailgate. I get exhausted just from

Seeing some people’s tailgates, and I'm not even the one investing the time, energy, or money. But they sure are fun!

I love asking people about their tailgates, which are as unique as fingerprints. Each group has its own traditions, food, games, rhythms, schedules, and habits. The key word there is tradition. Whenever you ask someone about their tailgate, their face lights up, and they share how, when, and why it all started (usually many years ago). Some people will tell you they've been doing the same thing in the same location for decades.

If we're honest, the economics of tailgating don't make sense. Many people I know spend as much on tailgating each fall as most families spend on travel year-round. It can be expensive! It's not for everyone, but it's for many. People aren't ever going to justify the math on tailgating, but they will tell you as confidently as the grass is green, it's worth it. This is where the whole meaning over money concept comes into play. Not everything is about money. For some, they simply choose this because it matters.

At the heart of it, it's about something deeper. It's about people. Friends, family, co-workers, neighbors. It's an investment in relationships. It's a way to share experiences and create memories.

I'm grateful for anyone who has ever invited me to their tailgate. It's an opportunity I never take for granted. It's not something I ever aspire to recreate with our own family (especially at the scale many do it), but man, it sure is fun. I have many fond memories of sharing those experiences with people I care about. If that's you, just know I'm grateful!

My Cyclones may have lost yesterday, but the memories I created will last a lifetime.

The Painful (Yet Beautiful) Cost of Parenting

Today is a big day! Not only is it one of the biggest college football games of our season (Iowa at Iowa State), but it’s Northern Vessel’s official launch party for our new canned cold brew partnership with We Will Collective (Iowa State’s NIL collective). We’ll be setting up a tent alongside We Will, where our entire Northern Vessel team will be there to celebrate the launch, eat good food, and have a fun time together. Many friends, former Iowa State athletes, and other big names will also be stopping by the tailgate to say hello and grab some cold brew (35,000 cans fresh off the line!). Word on the street is President Trump and several other 2024 presidential candidates will also be floating around the premises.

It will be an absolutely fantastic event…..and I’ll miss most of it. Bummed doesn’t even begin to describe how I’m feeling right now. This is the type of thing we’ve envisioned since relaunching Northern Vessel in November 2022. This is the next step of TJ’s dream, and being able to support him is one of the greatest privileges of my life. Yet, I’m going to miss the majority of it.

Why? Finn and Pax have a parks and recreation soccer game this morning. They really want to play, and just as important, they want their dad there to cheer them on. I remember back when I dreamed of one day becoming a father. I made a promise to myself that I would make every one of my kids’ games, concerts, or other events if I had the power to do so. I also think back to my own childhood and remember fondly that my parents rarely missed a game. They didn’t have to be there, but they somehow sacrificed to always be present. If my memory serves me correctly, my mom only missed two basketball games in my entire 5th-12th career (in one, I scored 47 points, and in the other, I was carted out of the gym on a stretcher with temporary paralysis). I always loved having my parents there and want my kids to have the same thing (not the life-flash-before-their-eyes injury part, though…..that’s a story for a different day).

Can we parents all agree that this isn’t easy? In the chaos of life, it’s hard enough to keep my head on straight with the everyday things in my life…..never mind all the extracurricular activities. And the crazy part is, we’re not even into the thick of it yet. We have a few first graders just now getting into sports and other activities.

I’m very torn today. I’m mourning the loss of missing this important event. However, the decision was pretty simple. Many years ago, I made that commitment to myself to be present when I eventually became a father. This is where we find out if I was just talking the talk, or if I’ll walk the walk.

Oh yeah, Go Cyclones!