Failure Isn't Forever

Earlier this week, I shared a heartbreaking story of a man who spent so much time and energy working for more money (so he could give his family a higher standard of living and have more time with his kids), only to realize years later that he missed his kids' childhoods. He feels a deep regret about the path he took. He now recognizes the irony of his situation. He thought he was doing what was needed to have more time with his family, but those actions were the very thing robbing him of a life with his family.

I received dozens of messages after publishing that post. Some people shared their sadness, others expressed parallels in their own lives, and many just appreciated the reminder of what's most important. One message stood out, though. It was from a friend whom I deeply admire. She asked that I share it with this man (which I did), and then I asked if I could share it with all of you (which she happily agreed). Here's what she said:

"As a daughter of a man who has never acknowledged he messed up, and has always been absent, please tell this man he is not too late, and he can still be present for their adulthood. He can turn the story around right now. First job interviews! Weddings! Babies! There's so much they will need him for. I hope he knows that!"

Wow! As someone who has made my fair share of mistakes and failings, I needed to hear that....and maybe you do, too. Failure isn't forever. It's a moment in time. It's something that happens, not who we are. It's an opportunity to grow....or give up. It's a chance to bounce back.....or shrivel.

There's a power in knowing our past failures don't define our future. We do have to reconcile with our past, but it doesn't mean we don't get a second chance. We can't change the past, but we can (and should) change the future.

Friend, I'm grateful for you sharing these powerful and personal words. I know it hasn't been an easy journey, but I'm always inspired by how you use your story to impact others. This man needed to hear your words, and many readers also need to hear them. But If I'm being honest, I really, really needed to hear them.....maybe that's why they cut so deep.

What Country Am I In?

I often experience something that, until a recent conversation with my friend Claire, I thought was normal. It happened again this morning. Whenever I wake up in a hotel room, I often don’t know what country I’m in. There’s an immediate moment of confusion before getting my bearings. Is that normal? Since sharing this with Claire, I’ve told several other people about these situations. Turns out I am, in fact, weird.

Whenever this happens, roughly half the mornings I wake up in hotel rooms, I think about how funny life is. I grew up in a small farm town in NW Illinois. For me, going to South Dakota was exotic. And one time we went to Florida! Wow, that might as well have been a different planet. When I left home for college and ventured four hours west to Ames, Iowa, that was a scary and treacherous endeavor.

When I started my real estate career, the idea I would travel to different cities around America was wild. For me, it was exhilarating. My first business trip was to Denver, Colorado, to visit Sterling Point Apartments in Littleton. Sure, Denver isn’t the most exotic city in the world, but it might as well have been Hong Kong or London for me. I loved everything about that experience.

Fast forward a decade, and my clients were primarily in Europe and the Middle East. At the same time, I joined the board of an organization in SE Asia. Between those two endeavors, I traveled abroad many times a year. On one occasion, we visited 8 Middle Eastern countries on an 8-day trip (see where I get my hotel wake-up quirk?). For as weird as that travel initially felt, it soon became normal. When Sarah and I first visited Hong Kong in early 2016, it felt intimidating. Today, Asia feels like a second home. I love everything about it. The people, the food, the culture, the history….all of it.

All this is a testament to how small our world is today. Between the technological advances in communication and travel, it’s never been easier (or cheaper) to connect with people on the other side of the world. We shouldn’t take that opportunity for granted. I was recently on a podcast in Australia. Towards the end of the episode, I made a half-joke (but serious) comment to host Joe Stephan about needing to fly to Australia to meet him for dinner. The fact that it’s even possible is wild. Technology allows me the opportunity to create a relationship with this stranger, and a different kind of technology allows me to visit him if I’m up for the adventure. What a world we live in!!!

Sure, we have some problems in our modern world. But let’s never take for granted all the good that comes with it. We can use our resources and technology for evil, or we can use it to create beautiful relationships, far-reaching impact, and priceless memories. Don’t let this opportunity slip through your fingers.

UnGuilty Pleasures

I have a confession to make. I despise the term “guilty pleasure.” I know it’s a ubiquitous phrase in our culture, but do you ever stop to think about what it really means? At its core, calling something a guilty pleasure insinuates that you shouldn’t be doing it. It’s something you enjoy, but know it’s wrong (or wrong-ish). If anything, we should call adultery and stealing guilty pleasures.

I’m reminded of my hatred of this phrase because a client recently referred to getting her nails done as a guilty pleasure. Another client referred to golfing as a guilty pleasure. And a third person recently said her morning coffee at a local coffee shop is a guilty pleasure. None of these things are inherently bad. In fact, they may be quite good. The question isn’t about right and wrong, but rather right for YOU and wrong for YOU. For many of my friends, spending money on golf is the absolute best use of their personal spending money. For me, it would be counter-productive. Why would I want to blow my money on something that will just upset me and make me want to break something (which will cost me more money)? That doesn’t sound like a good value.

Instead, perhaps we can rebrand guilty pleasure into “unguilty pleasure.” These are purely wants, but add value to our lives. By definition, then, they are important. Yes, wants can be important. One of mine is a monthly massage. About two years ago, after spending years believing massages are something I could neither afford nor justify, I signed up for a membership at a local massage studio. Each month, I pay a fee and get a massage. In hindsight, it’s one of the best expenditures I’ve made in years. I always look forward to my appointment, and it adds value to my life. I don’t feel guilty about this. It’s not for everyone, but it is absolutely for me.

Today, I have two homework assignments for you. First, please remove the phrase “guilty pleasure” from your vocabulary. You deserve better than to do something you feel guilty about or perceive it as a bad decision. Second, lean hard into the following question: “What’s one want in my life that would make my life better?” Don’t filter your answer through the lens of needs and wants. It’s a want....you don’t need it. Let’s make that clear. It’s purely a want. Filter it through the lens of whether it adds value to your life. If it does, go for it! No guilt, no second-guessing, and no regret.

Enjoy those unguilty pleasures!

Savor the Glimpses

Have you ever accomplished something you worked hard on, but didn't get the gratification of seeing if/how your work even made a difference? Whew, I'm so glad I'm not alone. Much of what we do involves trust. We put in the work, do the grind, endeavor to do something that matters, and trust it will mean something to someone. When I used to make Casey's pizzas in high school, I would put in the work and trust someone would enjoy their slice. When I used to rake sand traps at the golf course, I trusted someone would appreciate the fact they were clean and kept. When I invested in relationships with my youth group kids, I trusted my influence was impacting their lives. When I managed billion-dollar real estate portfolios for my clients, I trusted my work would provide them with peace of mind and returns that exceeded their expectations.

It's common to do work and never really know if our actions make an impact. It's the trust that carries us through. Well, for many, it's the paycheck. The paycheck carries them through. Sometimes, though, we're blessed with a little glimpse into what our work is genuinely doing. This week, my friends in Los Angeles asked if I'd be willing to go speak again. Not once, but two more times (once in October and once in January). They said my previous events received such positive feedback from their audiences that it was a must-have to bring me back. Wow, that really touched me. It was a small glimpse into the impact I'm making.

I don't get these glimpses often, but I'm beyond grateful when I do. I once received a DM from a stranger in New Zealand who said our podcast changed his life and marriage. Wow! My friend, Chi-Chung, wrote a post on social media last week, describing how a cup of coffee and my blog are the first two things he does to start his day. He even added that I'm one of his "favorite bloggers." Wow! I recently received a handwritten note from a former client detailing how our coaching relationship changed their life forever. Wow!

These moments don't always happen, so cherish them when they do. We don't do what we do to get a pat on the back, but man, those pats feel good when they come. These little moments remind us why we do what we do. We don't need these reminders daily, but they are much needed when we're having a bad day/week. When we want to give up, these little glimpses can provide the energy and motivation to keep moving forward.

On the flip side, this may be our reminder to give other people their own glimpses. I probably don't reach out to say "thank you" enough. I probably don't share enough about how someone impacted my journey. I probably don't shine a light on people's amazing work enough. Let this be our call to action. And by "our," I mean mine.

"Travis, I Think I Messed Up."

I come to you today with a heartbreaking story. A man recently reached out to me after discovering some of our content. He said he was embarrassed to share it, but thought "maybe good can come from it." While the story is heartbreaking (my words, not his), it's all too common in our culture. "Travis, I think I messed up." That's how his message started.

In short, here's the situation. This man is approaching 50 years old, lives in the suburbs of a major US city, has two teenage kids, and has a lucrative career. His approach to work and money was simple. Make as much money as quickly as possible, so he can spend more time with his family and provide them with the life they "deserve."

Year after year, decade after decade, that's exactly what he did. He worked hard, provided financially, and raced toward this perceived finish line where he'll be able to spend more time with his family and give them the riches they deserve. One problem. In just two short years, he'll be an empty-nester.

As he so clearly and painfully puts it, "I missed it. I missed being a dad." While he was busy providing materialistic goodies for his family and endeavoring to create future freedom to spend more time with them, he simply wasn't present. He literally missed their childhoods. Today, instead of priceless memories, he has deep regret.

He now sees the irony of his approach. In his effort to get more time with his family, he was absent. He thought more money was the needed ingredient to create time with his family. Now he realizes more time was the secret to more time. It was right there in front of him, and he missed it.

Now, he has a lot of resources. He'll be able to retire in a few years and do whatever he wants. That sounds great....the American dream! Except what he wants more than anything is to spend time with his kids. Unfortunately, they are heading to college soon, creating their own lives, starting their own careers, and building their own families.

Money isn't the answer. Money can't create meaning. Money can't provide us with something that fills us up and delivers deep fulfillment. The sad truth is that money is often the thing that pulls us away from the meaning. It robs us of what we're genuinely looking for.

He wanted me to share this story with you today, hoping that even one person heeds his example. If so, it won't be for nothing. I feel for this man, and I feel for so many others who fall into this trap. Don't fall for it. You deserve better than this. Please don't let this man's story be for nothing. I know I won't.

"Tacky Place, Tacky Owner"

We recently passed the 9-month mark since opening Northern Vessel's brick-and-mortar location. To say it's been a whirlwind would be a gross understatement. We're equally shocked and grateful for what's transpired in this short time. 

One of our greatest honors is the opportunity to serve thousands of people. Some are friends, some are strangers, and some are strangers who become friends. It's an opportunity and responsibility we never take for granted. Our customers are so generous to us. They post about us on social media, share our content with their circles, and bring friends/family into the shop to try it out. They also leave us reviews on various platforms. 

Since opening our doors in November 2022, we've received 104 Google reviews. The breakdown is interesting, to say the least:

• 5-Star: 100

• 4-Star: 2

• 3-Star: 0

• 2-Star: 1

• 1-Star: 1

The sole 1-star review was left by someone before we even opened our doors. We were in the final stages of installing our equipment and furniture, hoping to open our doors soon. They were upset we weren't open for business yet.....and decided to punish us accordingly. Shame on us! 

The sole 2-star review was made a month ago. It was an interesting experience for everyone involved, staff and customers alike. Nothing particularly bad happened, but this customer's behavior made people uncomfortable. A few hours later, the following review popped up on Google. 

At least the coffee was decent, though. And can we please let the record show that TJ shall forever be known as “tacky?” Let’s put that on a t-shirt!

You can't win 'em all. Some people simply won't be happy with you. For this small minority of people in our lives, we have two options: 1) Try, try, and try (likely unsuccessfully) to make them happy, or 2) Do the right thing for the right reasons and let the cards fall how they may. I used to pursue option #1 in most situations. Surprise (!!), it never seemed to work. It took me far too long to realize these people aren't actually desirous to be satisfied, but rather to find reasons to be upset. There's always something to be mad about! As such, my efforts were futile, and I continually beat my head against the wall in an attempt to achieve the impossible feat. 

Now, however, I focus my attention and energy on the second option: do the right thing for the right reasons and let the cards fall how they may. I still don't make everyone happy, but I go to bed most nights knowing I did the right thing. This approach isn't easy, and I doubt it will ever be. 

Whatever the relevant application in your life, I hope you find this idea useful. We can't win 'em all, so let's keep focus on where our attention is most needed and best applied. Don't let the unattainable expectations of the few hinder your ability to serve those who you wish to serve.

A Clean Slate

If you're like many Americans, August can be a brutal month for your finances. It's a wild cocktail of end-of-summer travel, experiences with friends, back-to-school expenses, and the transition from summer to fall clothes. When all these factors combine forces, it's easy to implode our monthly budget.

This past week, I met with frustrated family after frustrated family, each feeling guilty and defeated by a busted budget and sudden financial stress. It's an easy mistake to make, and it happens to the best of us. Here's the good news if you're a family who budgets healthily. Somewhere between 1 and 30 days from now, we get a clean slate. Even when we mess up, the month eventually concludes, and a new one begins.

This may feel like splitting hairs, but it can make a huge psychological difference. Something powerful happens when we wipe the slate clean at regular intervals. Mistakes will happen (they always do), but they don't define us.....and they certainly don't need to haunt us.

This clean slate perspective can work wonders for us. My wife and I regularly have financial months we'd like to forget. Once the month wraps up, we take inventory of what happened and simply move on. With every passing month comes the opportunity to learn, adjust, and try again. This is our 168th monthly budget since getting married. We've had many bad months in there, but we've learned every step of the way. Some months are amazing, while others end with us counting down the days until the slate is wiped clean. But every time, we eventually get to start afresh.

On the flip side, even when we nail our finances in a given month, the clean slate provides us yet another opportunity to bring our dreams to life. There's a pool of money to account for this month, and therein lies the opportunity for us to live out our values through our budget. Sarah and I have a handful of fun priorities this month, ranging from future international travel, to generosity, to the kids. As we put the budget together, it's been fun to see these aspirations come to life. And next month, we get to do it again.

We don't need to budget forever......just until we die. #dadjoke. Budgeting isn't something we have to do, but rather something we get to do. It's a blessing, not a curse. It's an opportunity, not an evil. It doesn't tell us what to do.....we tell it what we're going to do. It's a beautiful tool to plan our dreams, then put one foot in front of the other to make them come alive.

Embrace the clean slate. Make the most of it. Use this opportunity to live out your values. You won't regret it.

The Hidden What-If Cost

Yesterday, I shared a meal with a friend. He's a young guy who reminds me of how I was around 20. Like me at 20, he loves investing. And, like me at 20, he prefers to do it irresponsibly and overconfidently. Ah, so many similarities between us. Part of me wants to shake him out of it, but then again, I don't think anyone was going to shake me out of my ridiculous ways back when I was his age.

He revealed to me how he's lost a good chunk of change through his investing practices. Not "lost" as in the market is going down but will eventually come back up. Rather, lost as in, poof, it's gone. It's a lot of money to him, but he did have a good comeback for me. "Travis, you always talk about how we shouldn't do things that financially endanger us or our family. This doesn't put me in danger, and I don't have a family yet."

He makes a good point. He may be out thousands of dollars, but he won't go without food or shelter. He's a single guy with limited financial overhead. However, here's where I want to land this plane. I pointed out to him there's a far more significant consequence at play. It's the hidden what-if, commonly known as opportunity cost. Said another way, it's what he could have done with that money instead of what he chose.

Out of respect for him, I won't use his actual numbers. Let's pretend he made some investing choices that cost him $5,000. Or you could insert a different choice here. Maybe you spent it gambling. Perhaps you decided to have a wild night at the club, or that impulsive trip to _______, or pulled the trigger on that motorcycle you've had your eye on.

Sure, $5,000 less in your pocket may not ruin your life. That's a fair point. But the hidden cost? The opportunity cost is what you could have done with this $5,000 instead of losing it on risky investments. In the case of my friend, I used an apples-to-apples comparison. Since he's trying to make money by investing, I shared an alternative scenario. If invested the right way (broad low-cost index funds with a lot of patience), that $5,000 would be worth nearly $250,000 by the time he turns 65. So, correct, his loss didn't ruin his life......but the cost was quite steep.

We can insert other opportunity cost scenarios here, too. How many hurting families could we have helped with $5,000? How many hungry children could we have fed with $5,000? How much education could we have attained with $5,000? How much quicker could we replace our aging car with $5,000? How many amazing memories could we have created with $5,000? The list goes on.

Yes, it's only $5,000. But it's $5,000!!!! Whenever we make decisions, we must look beyond the direct costs. An opportunity cost assessment will show us our best choice. Follow that one!

Getting Rid of the "Just"

I recently had coffee with my friend Angie, and she said something that struck me deeply. She was sharing about some amazing developments in her career and how much peace/confidence/excitement she has as she's entering this new season. As she shared her newfound perspective and momentum, one of the contributing factors was giving herself more credit than she used to. As she put it, "getting rid of the 'just.'" "I'm just a ______." I just do _______." This "just" syndrome stemmed from comparing herself to what others do and what our culture defines as successful.

Can you relate? Wow, I sure could. I can think of countless conversations I've had with people where "I just _____" came into the fold. Shortly after having kids, I remember someone at a party asking my wife, Sarah, what she does for a living. "I just stay at home." Another client responded to a similar question: "I'm just a teacher." While having a drink with a friend, he stated, "I just cut grass."

I'm not innocent, either. I've uttered my fair share of "just" statements over the years, especially since leaving my prior career. It's amazing how much of our identity we subconsciously pull from our title, status, and other superficial nuances of life. After leaving my previous career, I felt a bit naked. I didn't think my work defined me....until I left. When someone asked what I do for a living, I'd start by telling them what I used to do. What!?!? I left a career to do something I'm called to do, I'm excited to do it, and I'm already making a difference doing it, but yet I'm telling people what I used to do?!?! That was a rude awakening for me.

Wherever you insert "just" into your life, please get rid of it. Your work, gifts, relationships, influence, and impact aren't "just." They matter deeply to a whole lot of people. As I often say about my own work, "I may not change the world, but I'm most certainly going to help change some people's lives.......and they may change the world."

Every single one of us has the opportunity to positively impact people's lives around us. Family, friends, co-workers, customers, and even strangers on the street. What an opportunity!!! However, to live to our full potential, we need to get rid of "just," as my friend Angie beautifully says. Thanks, Angie, for the fantastic perspective. I think you just impacted a lot of people with that little slice of wisdom!

Yes, Your Work Matters. Yes, Even Yours

A young man recently contacted me via social media with a profound question. He stumbled upon a video clip from our Meaning Over Money podcast where I talked about how all work matters because it adds value to others. When he heard this, he started to question his own career choices. It's not because he hates his job.... it's the opposite, actually. And it's not because he doesn't make a decent living.... it's the opposite, actually. His pondering came from a place where he needed to know if his work actually adds value to others.

He's a video game streamer. Yes, he plays video games for a living. He plays while people watch him on the internet. He livestreams his play on Twitch and TikTok, and publishes the full videos on YouTube after the fact. He's 22 and made "around $200,000 last year."

What do you think? Does his work matter? Does it actually add value to people's lives? Do you believe what he does is silly and a waste of time? Do you feel like he's wasting his life away? Do you think it's ridiculous someone like him can generate nearly a quarter million dollars per year? If I were to survey each of you, I suspect there would be a wide array of answers. Answers ranging from "he's a loser" to "he's my new hero."

Here's what I told him. Of course his work is adding value to others. Otherwise, thousands of people wouldn't pay him to be a member of his community, and people wouldn't spend tens of thousands of hours watching his videos. At the heart of it, he's an entertainer. He's funny, engaging, and shockingly enjoyable to watch. He provides people with laughs and light-hearted content when they come home from a tough day. But it goes deeper than that. He's creating genuine community. Not just for himself, but for thousands of people who follow him. When you spend even a few minutes watching his channel, it's clear there's a core group of people who know and care about each other. He created that. He took an interest (video games), and widely available tools (his computer and a few social media platforms), and combined it with his gifts (humor, engagement, and empathy), to create something that matters. Something that adds value to our culture. Something that gives people a place to belong.

Yeah, his work matters. It sure does matter. It matters a ton to a lot of people. It doesn't matter what you or I think of his work. To the people he serves, he's adding a ton of value. His work matters. That's why it's his work, and not yours/mine. It's the beauty of work that matters. We each have the opportunity to carve our own path. This young man did it in his own unique way, and we each get to do the same.

C.S. Lewis Makes a Good Point

One of my favorite C.S. Lewis stories revolves around a night he and his friend were walking down the street. Along the path, they see a homeless man. Lewis immediately reached into his pockets, pulled out all the cash he had on him, and handed it to the man. As they walked away, his friend said, "You shouldn't have done that. He's just going to squander it on tobacco and alcohol." Mr. Lewis looks at his friend and replies, "Well, that's what I was going to do with it."

I think this story illustrates the imperfection of humanity and our ability to show grace through it. While it's true that we are called to be good stewards of our resources, some things are bigger than money. In this case, dignity. Lewis recognized the humanity in this homeless man and chose to show him dignity. It's a sharp but beautiful story that has helped shape my heart around generosity.

---

Yesterday afternoon, the boys and I were riding bikes after school when we approached a homeless man getting some reprieve from the sun. My gut instinct was to ignore him, but I knew he deserved far more dignity than that. Eventually, the boys and I approached him. I asked if he could use some cash, then gave him everything I had in my pocket (+/- $17). He was beyond grateful for this unsolicited gift, which led to a fun conversation. The man shared a few pieces of his story, we chatted about his day, he asked the kids about their favorite bible verses, and he asked if there was a thrift shop nearby where he could pick up a few supplies. Before leaving, I asked if he needed anything. He said it would be amazing if I could help him find a phone charger. I told him I could absolutely make that happen, and I would be back later to drop it off.

When we got home, Pax headed straight for the pantry. Sarah, seeing him out of the corner of her eye, said, "Pax, no food right now. I'm making dinner." Pax, quick to defend himself, responded, "This isn't for me, Mom. I'm making Ben a snack bag. I don't want him to be hungry tonight." He gets a grocery sack from under the sink, then fills it with beef sticks, peanuts, granola bars, almonds, animal crackers (can't forget the animal crackers!), and apples. "Dad, do you have the charger ready? We should go take this to him right now."

Wow. This is from a first-grader. While most of us adults are busy assessing the merit, use, and deservingness of a potential gift, this little boy is busy showing love, compassion, and action. I'm always proud of my kids, but this moment was a bit more special. C.S. Lewis makes a good point, but Pax already knew it in his heart. Generosity always wins.

"I Want to Be a ____"

About once a month, one of my kids will update his proclamation of what he wants to be when he grows up. Recent examples include a firefighter, basketball player, mowin' man, podcaster, and "in Twenty One Pilots."

Sometimes their ideas are practical, and sometimes they are absurd. However, I have one guiding rule as I try to parent these little men: don't kill their dreams. So often, I see parents criticizing, downplaying, demeaning, and even mocking their children's dreams. I've witnessed many of my youth group students have an amazing aspiration, only for it to be zapped away by their well-intentioned parents.

Sure, sometimes these dreams and ideas may be far-fetched. But it's not our job as parents to squeeze the life out of their dreams. Rather, it's our job to support, encourage, teach, and walk alongside them. They will eventually find their right path.....if we don't emotionally and mentally beat it out of them.

I get how this happens. We want our kids to succeed. We want them to be in a position where they can take care of themselves. We don't want to see them suffer. In the process, though, we're doing more harm than good. In an attempt to protect them from failing, we're preventing them from winning. We're trying to ensure they have money, while simultaneously robbing them of meaning. We're trying to steer them onto the "normal" path, when maybe their path needs to be anything but normal. I know many young men who were forced into college by their loving parents, only to hate it, get depressed, then drop out. They beat themselves up and feel as though they are just giant losers. Then, they will usually find the path that truly suits them. Once they do, their creativity, work ethic, and drive comes alive. It's like a light switch.

Who knows, maybe I'll read this post years down the road and consider my past self wrong......but I doubt it. I suspect my kids will do their fair share of failing as the years roll by. It will hurt them, but it will also hurt me to watch. However, that's where the beauty lies. From failure comes pain. From pain comes growth. From growth comes impact. From impact comes meaning.

I'll be there to walk alongside them, encourage them, and support them when they need me. I hope they never let go of their crazy dreams. I hope their dreams grow with them. I hope their dreams are so big that others will laugh and shake their head. Whatever those dreams are, I hope they are uniquely their dreams.....not mine. I hope they stay true to themselves and aggressively pursue whatever path that entails.

Parents of adults, what are your thoughts? Any wisdom to share? Would love to hear about your wins and losses in this department.

What if the World Melts?

There's a lot of talk about the impending doom of America. Everyone has an opinion, and most people's opinions revolve around some notion of our economic system collapsing. Whether it's the housing market, our currency, the stock market, or some other piece of our economy, people think it's all going to melt. 

Do I think our world is perfectly put together and predestined for a long and rosy path? Absolutely not. In fact, I think we have some pain ahead of us. Companies are starting to lay people off. Interest rates and stubbornly high house prices are limiting housing affordability. Rampant inflation (particularly for food and gas) is squeezing away families' remaining financial margin. Consumer debt has surpassed all-time highs. And to put a cherry on top, Federal student loan payments are set to resume on 10/1. All of this is a recipe for tough times. 

So what do we do about it? First, I'll inventory the crappy advice I'm hearing all around me:

• Sell all of your stock investments.

• Buy gold.

• Buy real estate (regardless of its price and affordability).

• Apply for HELOCs, credit cards, and other forms of debt.

• Buy crypto

All of this is advice being pedaled by so-called experts. Well, they are experts, actually. They are experts at what they are experts in (i.e., not finances), but then talk about these topics, and their credibility transfers with it. My wife regularly shares ideas she hears from very smart people she follows online and in the media. Brilliant people in their own right. They should be listened to when it comes to their areas of expertise. Then, however, they start spouting opinions about these other things....and people just blindly believe them. 

I'm not suggesting you should listen to me, though. I'll let you decide for yourself. If you do decide to heed my advice, here are a few simple things we can each do to prepare for what's probably a rough road ahead:

• Get intentional. Make a plan each month, then execute it. Know what you'll do, do it, and know you did it. Budgeting.....the dreaded b-word.

• Make sure your investments are simple and straight-forward. Invest broadly and cheaply. I'm a big fan of total stock market index funds. With a few clicks of the mouse, you can own one fund, with 500-4,000 different companies, with almost zero fees. 

• Once your investments are locked in, don't touch them....ever. Don't let fear get the best of you. In the 155-year history of our stock market, there's never been a 15-year window where the market lost money....ever. 

• Make sure you have an emergency fund. Set some money aside in a savings account. Use it only for real emergencies. 

• Serve and give to people in need. Generosity always wins. 

• Surround yourself with encouraging people. 

• Live a meaningful life. If we let it, there's always something to scare us and keep us awake at night. Block it out and make the best of each day.

We'll get through it!

"It Feels Like I'm Living My Dream"

Yesterday was the official launch of our new canned cold brew partnership with The We Will Collective, Iowa State University's NIL collective organization. We started by offering cans in our brick-and-mortar shop, followed by retail availability early next week and direct-to-consumer online sales a few weeks later. As I watched TJ pass out cans to eager Cyclone fans at our soft launch event yesterday morning, I couldn't help but smile. It felt like something big was happening, though none of us could adequately define what that truly means.

Several hours later, I received several missed calls from TJ. I was in a meeting and couldn't answer, but I started getting concerned. I texted him and asked if everything was ok, and if he needed me right away. Turns out, he was just really excited to talk about everything.

A few hours later, I finally had a chance to connect with him. In the first few minutes of the conversation, TJ said something I suspected earlier in the day. "I feel like I'm living my dream." I know this is true. I've felt that way for a while now, but yesterday seemed to cap off a wild 9-month run since opening our doors.

TJ's recipe is simple. Know your calling, grind, fail, learn, grind, fail, learn, continue following the call, grind, fail, learn, and suddenly, you're an overnight success. It's been a 4.5-year journey for him. Nothing about it has been easy. Lesser people (myself included) probably would have given up by now. But not him. His mission was so clear, his why so big, and his patience so great, that nothing was going to defeat his spirit or crush his dream.

Living our dream has a price. We all have different dreams, and the prices to achieve them vary, but there's no free pass. The cost is steep, but the rewards are grand. I suspect TJ already knew this, but having a front-row seat to watch it play out in real-time is special.

Here's my parting thought. I don't think TJ is special. He's just a regular guy, but a regular guy living his dream. If he can do it, so can you, and so can I. If that's true, what's stopping you from going for it?

You Aren't Alone

On August 7th, at a client's request, we published a podcast episode titled "Making Financial Progress While Inflation is Kicking Your Butt." In it, I shared a common experience many families across our country are going through. Inflation is doing a number on us. For millions of families, the inflation we've experienced over the past few years has eroded most (or all) of the financial margin they've managed to create. It's scary, frustrating, and defeating.

This week, I spent time with this client for the first time since that episode went live. They jokingly asked if that episode had gone viral. While it hasn't necessarily gone viral, at least 15-20 people have mentioned that specific episode to me. Comments such as, "that hit a little too close to home," "I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling this way," and "I feel like you understand what we're going through."

All this feedback illustrates an important and powerful point. We aren't alone. While we often feel like we're dealing with genuinely unique circumstances, they are often slight variations of what others are experiencing. I say this to highlight the fact you aren't alone. If true, there are a handful of implications:

• You don't have to go through it alone.

• If others can do it, so can you!

• If others have done it, there are resources to learn and grow.

• Success isn't possible.....it's probable. We just need to keep moving forward. 

• There will be people who try to tear you down with a victim mentality.....

• .....but there will be people who try to encourage and support you.

I've experienced this first-hand over the past 15 years. When we were deeply in debt, I realized millions of others were as well. When I wanted to start a business, I realized millions of others had already gone down that road before me. When we struggled with fertility issues, I realized millions of others struggled as well. When we lost a child, I realized millions of others were also dealing with a similar pain. I wasn't alone, and neither are you.

With that in mind, don't be afraid to be open with others. With honesty comes support, and with support comes progress. Oh yeah, and never hesitate to hit me up if you need anything. I'd be honored to help. You aren't alone, and that's a beautiful thing. 

Shame On Me

I did it again. I promised myself I wouldn't, but I did. I suppose I haven't had enough punishment yet. When will I learn? Maybe next time I'll know better. These thoughts ran through my head yesterday as I sat in a local restaurant. I'd been in that restaurant countless times, which usually ended with similar laments oozing out of my pores. Each time, I say to myself, "This is the final straw!" Yet, there I was, subjecting myself to a level of torment I clearly deserved.

Some places deserve our business, and some don't. This one doesn't. Bad food, lousy service, poor cleanliness, long waits, and terrible ingress/egress. My miserable experience was capped off by waiting 9 minutes for a car in front of me to get the courage to take a hard left into dangerous and speedy traffic. Just getting in and out is a torturous endeavor.

I'll take 100% of the blame for this one. After all, I knew exactly what I was getting into.....and as a result, I got what I deserved. However, there's something bigger at play. This restaurant doesn't deserve my business, or yours. They don't value their customers, and they certainly don't value their employees. The poor service is, in large part, due to management's unwillingness to adequately staff it. Yet, I'm part of the problem. I'm willingly giving money to this place when countless alternatives deserve my patronage. Every time I visit this place, I'm encouraging, supporting, and perpetuating a clear abuse of people, food, and power. It's exploitive, and I'm to blame. Shame on me.

This is where I draw a line in the sand. I'm apologetic for my role in this, and I hope others feel the same. Instead, I need to be more intentional about giving business to those who value me, their craft, and their people. I want to invest in those businesses. Those are the businesses that have earned the right for me to return again and again.

We need to choose wisely. When we give someone the right to serve us, they must earn the right to do it again. Some do, some don't. I think we need to honor the purity in this approach. It's simple, but difficult. It's easy to say, hard to do. I failed in this example, but it won't happen again. There's someone more deserving to serve me next time.

Yet Another New Season

In just a few hours, my boys will begin first grade. With it will come a plethora of varying emotions. On the one hand, I'll be proud of them and who they are becoming. On the other hand, I'll mourn the fact they are growing up so fast. It seems like just yesterday, they were learning to walk and talk. Today, they read everything they see and constantly add random numbers. It seems like just yesterday, they decided it would be fun to fingerpaint with their poop. Today, they strategically drop farts on me and each other. Ok, some things never change!

For as much as I want time to slow down, I'm trying to enjoy it for what it is: a series of really cool seasons. If I look at life as one linear story, I feel lost in it. However, if I view it as a number of seasons, it changes the dynamic for me. If our midwestern winters stayed in perpetuity, it would drive me mad. But the fact it's merely a season makes it something I celebrate and, dare I say, embrace it.

Life is much the same way. When we can view it in terms of seasons, we can celebrate and embrace each moment more intentionally. Though our summer was extraordinarily busy, I strongly feel like we embraced the season. Lots of memories, tons of adventures, and plenty of bonding. That's the thing about time. We're never going to slow it down, so we ought to savor it the best we can. I used to foolishly think I could bend time if I was intentional enough, but alas, I was wrong. Instead, I'll concede time will always go too fast, but we'll embrace every moment as it comes. I don't always get it right, but perhaps I can get a little better each time I try.

So today, I celebrate and mourn.....but mostly celebrate. I'll always cherish the seasons we've had in the past, but it's time to embrace the one upon us.

What if Nobody Was Watching?

On the surface, giving has a simple and noble intent: to help people. However, we all know people give gifts (financial and otherwise) with other motives in mind.

Sometimes giving is used as a way to create or maintain control.

Sometimes giving is used to garner favor.

Sometimes giving is used as a virtue signal.

Sometimes giving is used as a public scoreboard.

Sometimes giving is used as an anti-guilt mechanism.

Sometimes giving is used as a tax reduction tool.

Sometimes giving is used as a way to enhance popularity and/or status.

Sometimes giving is used as a way to maintain relationships.

Sometimes giving is used as a tool to gain affirmation.

It's tricky to fully mitigate all the conscious and subconscious ulterior motives we have inside us. Even when we give with the best intent in mind, we can be polluted.

I recognized this about myself early in my giving journey. While I wanted to give for the right reasons, I knew taxes and affirmation were two of my possible triggers. Therefore, I did the only thing I resorted to the only approach I could think of: I made my giving 100% anonymous and undocumentable for tax purposes. I willingly gave up any tax benefits I could have garnered, as the mere opportunity to benefit from my gifts could have easily polluted me. This was an important season in my life. It's where I learned to give for no other reason than to give. There was truly nothing for me to gain.

After that season played out, I began giving more practically and normally. My gifts weren't as anonymous, I documented them for tax purposes, and I was somewhat open with what I was doing. This worked great for many years. Then, something changed again.

About 18 months ago, I felt myself subconsciously altering my giving for ulterior motives. Maybe I was worried about what someone would think of my gift. Was it too big? Too small? Some people commented about who I was giving to, how I was giving to them, and how much I was giving to them. I could feel these influences impacting me.

Was I even giving for the right reasons anymore? Was I giving more to xyz organization because I was scared what they would think if I gave less? As much as I wanted to make my giving pure, there was a likelihood it wasn't. That's when I made a dramatic shift in how I was giving. I took steps to revert my giving back to a more anonymous manner. It takes some creativity to pull this off, but it's been such a detoxifying endeavor. I'm back to feeling like my giving is pure.

I'll probably expound on this more in a future post, but my challenge today is simple. Use creativity to make your giving as impactful, fulfilling, and as pure as possible. You won't always get it right, but when you do, it's beautiful.

"Do I Have to Like My Job?"

I receive this question often, but it felt particularly loaded when I recently received it from a man in Germany. He reached out via a DM on Instagram. There was a bit more context involved, but in short, he wanted to know the following: "Do I Have to Like My Job?"

I regularly reference a staggering statistic on this blog and the podcast. 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs. I hoped these last few years would help shift these numbers, but new data indicates it's more of the same. According to Gallup's latest numbers, 69% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs. In Europe, where this man resides, it's much, much worse. According to Gallup's recent study, 87% of Europeans dislike or hate their jobs. That's nearly 9 out of 10 adults across the entire continent. Holy crap!!! That's a staggeringly sad statistic.

My message to this man is two-fold. First, you're not alone. Most people in my country and his country don't like their jobs. What he's experiencing is quite normal, unfortunately. It doesn't make him evil, or stupid, or a failure. For as much as I can tell, he's quite successful and has a good life.

No, we don't have to like our jobs. We can live a quality life without liking our jobs. Tens of millions of Americans and Germans alike do it every day. It's indeed possible to dislike or hate our job but still have a meaningful life. Our jobs don't define us, and there's more to life than work.

However, and this is a big however. You deserve better than a job you dislike or hate. I think you deserve better than to wake up in the morning and dread what you're about to do. If you spend more than half your waking hours doing something you tolerate or hate, I'm sorry. If you can't wait until Fridays, then get depressed about Mondays, I'm so sorry! If you spend decades racing as fast as you can to reach the finish line and retire so you can "finally enjoy life," I'm sorry.

No, we don't have to like our jobs. Hundreds of millions of people don't like their jobs. It's the normal way to live life. There's nothing inherently wrong with it. On the other hand, I think this man deserves better, I think you deserve better, and I think I deserve better. We have but one life to live. As such, I think we deserve to wake up each day knowing we're about to do something that matters. If we're going to spend half our waking hours away from our family, we deserve to do something that fills our bucket and matters to us.

This is my wish for this man, and it's my wish for you. Whatever you're doing today, I hope it matters to you. You deserve that.

A Snail's Progress Is Deceiving

Recently, an Australian publication asked if I would repurpose and refresh an article I wrote about 18 months ago. They thought the content was interesting, engaging, and relevant to their audience. I was happy to oblige. After all, this was one of my favorite pieces I've written in the last few years. My intent was to simply dust it off, update some of the data, and provide some context more relevant for an Australian reader. Then, something happened.

Remember how this was one of my favorite pieces I had written? Upon a revisit, I thought it was garbage. The sentence structure was off in several places, my arguments were not as crisp as I expected, and the jokes felt a little flat. Wow! It was as if I was reading someone else's writing. I was, though. My younger self. Now one might not think a lot can change in 18 months, and you might be right. However, there's one fact to add to this story. Since I've published 300-500 words every day since November (plus writing for other publications), I've probably published more than 125,000 words since I wrote that piece. That's the equivalent of two entire books. Yikes!

That's the funny thing about a snail. It's hard to see its progress when you're staring at it. It looks painfully and embarrassingly slow. But if you turn your attention away from it, then come back later, it's startling how far its come. That same concept applies to us humans, and it's relevant to so many different areas of life.

Earlier this summer, my kids could barely swim…..and I certainly wouldn't trust them in the deep end. It was difficult for them to grab a diving ring from the four-foot depth. Yesterday morning, Finn treaded water for four minutes, and Pax swam the length of the pool in just a few breaths. They would have sunk like stones just a few months ago, but here we are! The snail is chugging along!

Whatever your craft, skill, art, hobby, book, music, or other endeavor is, just put the work in. It may feel like you're moving as slow as a snail, but that's a win! If you just keep going, one day you'll look back and be as shocked as we are at the snail. If I can go from garbage (my own harsh self-talk) to good in just one year, what does the next year look like? Or 5 years? Or 10 years? It's weird to think about.

What about you? What's something you need to just do, do, and do again? In what area do you need to put your head down and put the work in? Whatever your answer, I hope you do it! You deserve it, and so do all the people who will benefit from your excellent work!