What if Nobody Was Watching?

On the surface, giving has a simple and noble intent: to help people. However, we all know people give gifts (financial and otherwise) with other motives in mind.

Sometimes giving is used as a way to create or maintain control.

Sometimes giving is used to garner favor.

Sometimes giving is used as a virtue signal.

Sometimes giving is used as a public scoreboard.

Sometimes giving is used as an anti-guilt mechanism.

Sometimes giving is used as a tax reduction tool.

Sometimes giving is used as a way to enhance popularity and/or status.

Sometimes giving is used as a way to maintain relationships.

Sometimes giving is used as a tool to gain affirmation.

It's tricky to fully mitigate all the conscious and subconscious ulterior motives we have inside us. Even when we give with the best intent in mind, we can be polluted.

I recognized this about myself early in my giving journey. While I wanted to give for the right reasons, I knew taxes and affirmation were two of my possible triggers. Therefore, I did the only thing I resorted to the only approach I could think of: I made my giving 100% anonymous and undocumentable for tax purposes. I willingly gave up any tax benefits I could have garnered, as the mere opportunity to benefit from my gifts could have easily polluted me. This was an important season in my life. It's where I learned to give for no other reason than to give. There was truly nothing for me to gain.

After that season played out, I began giving more practically and normally. My gifts weren't as anonymous, I documented them for tax purposes, and I was somewhat open with what I was doing. This worked great for many years. Then, something changed again.

About 18 months ago, I felt myself subconsciously altering my giving for ulterior motives. Maybe I was worried about what someone would think of my gift. Was it too big? Too small? Some people commented about who I was giving to, how I was giving to them, and how much I was giving to them. I could feel these influences impacting me.

Was I even giving for the right reasons anymore? Was I giving more to xyz organization because I was scared what they would think if I gave less? As much as I wanted to make my giving pure, there was a likelihood it wasn't. That's when I made a dramatic shift in how I was giving. I took steps to revert my giving back to a more anonymous manner. It takes some creativity to pull this off, but it's been such a detoxifying endeavor. I'm back to feeling like my giving is pure.

I'll probably expound on this more in a future post, but my challenge today is simple. Use creativity to make your giving as impactful, fulfilling, and as pure as possible. You won't always get it right, but when you do, it's beautiful.