The Daily Meaning
Take your mornings to the next level with a daily dose of perspective and encouragement to start your day off right. Sign-up for a free, short-form blog delivered to your inbox each morning, 7 days per week. Some days we talk about money, but usually not. We believe you’ll take away something valuable to help you on your journey. Sign up to join the hundreds of people who read Travis’s blog each morning.
Archive
- December 2024
- November 2024
- October 2024
- September 2024
- August 2024
- July 2024
- June 2024
- May 2024
- April 2024
- March 2024
- February 2024
- January 2024
- December 2023
- November 2023
- October 2023
- September 2023
- August 2023
- July 2023
- June 2023
- May 2023
- April 2023
- March 2023
- February 2023
- January 2023
- December 2022
- November 2022
- August 2021
- November 2020
- July 2020
- June 2020
- April 2020
- March 2020
- February 2020
- October 2019
- September 2019
What if Nobody Was Watching?
On the surface, giving has a simple and noble intent: to help people. However, we all know people give gifts (financial and otherwise) with other motives in mind.
On the surface, giving has a simple and noble intent: to help people. However, we all know people give gifts (financial and otherwise) with other motives in mind.
Sometimes giving is used as a way to create or maintain control.
Sometimes giving is used to garner favor.
Sometimes giving is used as a virtue signal.
Sometimes giving is used as a public scoreboard.
Sometimes giving is used as an anti-guilt mechanism.
Sometimes giving is used as a tax reduction tool.
Sometimes giving is used as a way to enhance popularity and/or status.
Sometimes giving is used as a way to maintain relationships.
Sometimes giving is used as a tool to gain affirmation.
It's tricky to fully mitigate all the conscious and subconscious ulterior motives we have inside us. Even when we give with the best intent in mind, we can be polluted.
I recognized this about myself early in my giving journey. While I wanted to give for the right reasons, I knew taxes and affirmation were two of my possible triggers. Therefore, I did the only thing I resorted to the only approach I could think of: I made my giving 100% anonymous and undocumentable for tax purposes. I willingly gave up any tax benefits I could have garnered, as the mere opportunity to benefit from my gifts could have easily polluted me. This was an important season in my life. It's where I learned to give for no other reason than to give. There was truly nothing for me to gain.
After that season played out, I began giving more practically and normally. My gifts weren't as anonymous, I documented them for tax purposes, and I was somewhat open with what I was doing. This worked great for many years. Then, something changed again.
About 18 months ago, I felt myself subconsciously altering my giving for ulterior motives. Maybe I was worried about what someone would think of my gift. Was it too big? Too small? Some people commented about who I was giving to, how I was giving to them, and how much I was giving to them. I could feel these influences impacting me.
Was I even giving for the right reasons anymore? Was I giving more to xyz organization because I was scared what they would think if I gave less? As much as I wanted to make my giving pure, there was a likelihood it wasn't. That's when I made a dramatic shift in how I was giving. I took steps to revert my giving back to a more anonymous manner. It takes some creativity to pull this off, but it's been such a detoxifying endeavor. I'm back to feeling like my giving is pure.
I'll probably expound on this more in a future post, but my challenge today is simple. Use creativity to make your giving as impactful, fulfilling, and as pure as possible. You won't always get it right, but when you do, it's beautiful.
A Good Day's Work
Have I ever mentioned how much I love work? Not because it's fun (it's often not), but because it matters. There's something really fulfilling about waking up in the morning, serving people well, using our gifts and talents, and coming home knowing we gave it everything we had. Yesterday was a perfect example of it:
Have I ever mentioned how much I love work? Not because it's fun (it's often not), but because it matters. There's something really fulfilling about waking up in the morning, serving people well, using our gifts and talents, and coming home knowing we gave it everything we had. Yesterday was a perfect example of it:
4:45 AM: Woke up in Midland, TX, and made my way to the airport.
7:00 AM: Flight to Houston.
9:00 AM: Tour of my client's dry ice manufacturing facility and meetings with their team.
1:30 PM: Drive to the Houston airport.
3:00 PM: Flight back to Midland.
4:30 PM: In the office to continue making headway on our project.
7:30 PM: Dinner with my client.
9:00 PM: Back to the hotel
It was a 16-hour whirlwind. Not what I would do every day, but it was an amazingly satisfying day. I was completely exhausted, but I felt great as the day wrapped up! I laid my head on the pillow knowing I did something worth doing.
There was a season in my life where I might have thought to myself, "Ugh, I can't believe I'm still working." Now, It's an honor. Work isn't something we have to do.....it's something we get to do. Whenever we work, we serve people (co-workers, bosses, employees, customers, etc.) and add value to their lives. It's not always fun, but it matters.
Work matters. Even if you're not at your dream job, your work still matters. Even if you're not working a ton of hours, your work still matters. Even if it feels like your job kinda sucks, your work still matters. Even if you’re working in a different industry than you’d like, your work still matters. Even if you're in an entry-level job, your work still matters. Please don't ever demean your role and the value you add to this world. It matters. It's a blessing to be able to work, and not everyone is physically and mentally healthy enough to do that. If you are, be grateful. It's a gift.
Who Are You Going to Offend?
As I mentioned in yesterday's post, the 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays of the year. There are so many things to love about it. However, there's one fringe benefit of the holiday that I look forward to each year. The social media outrage that bubbles up in the days leading up to it, ranting and raving about people setting off their personal fireworks. This sort of outrage has existed in various forms over the years, but it now prominently lives in community Facebook groups. This year's outrage did not disappoint. Multiple times each day, someone took to Facebook to air their grievances. Their justification for their outrage ranged from practical, to questionable, to outlandish. It was nothing short of spectacular!
As I mentioned in yesterday's post, the 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays of the year. There are so many things to love about it. However, there's one fringe benefit of the holiday that I look forward to each year. The social media outrage that bubbles up in the days leading up to it, ranting and raving about people setting off their personal fireworks. This sort of outrage has existed in various forms over the years, but it now prominently lives in community Facebook groups. This year's outrage did not disappoint. Multiple times each day, someone took to Facebook to air their grievances. Their justification for their outrage ranged from practical, to questionable, to outlandish. It was nothing short of spectacular!
Reading these threads reminds me of a piece of advice I received many years ago: "You will always offend someone, so you might as well live your values and offend the right people." This advice felt applicable 20 years ago, but it's more relevant today than ever. Unfortunately, everything we do, even when well-intentioned, will offend someone. Whenever I receive online hate - which happens far more than I'd like to stomach - I ask myself if I'm offending the right people. It's so easy for us, in an effort to people please, to offend those we are most trying to serve. When I can objectively look at the criticism and know it's coming from the right people for the right reasons, it somewhat eases the discomfort.
We often hold ourselves back from doing what we know we need to do, in part, because we don't want to offend anyone. I've watched many people around me fall into this trap, and I'm ashamed to admit I have, too. I broke free from this fear a few years ago, but I still find myself holding back on certain topics/ideas out of fear of the backlash. Every time I get over myself and go for it, I inevitably offend someone.....but it's usually the right someone.
When I think about this idea of offending people, I always try to remember there is never ill intent. My objective isn't to offend someone. In fact, I'd love to find a way to do my work without offending people. Unfortunately, that's just not a feasible expectation. There's always someone who will be offended by me....and by you.
The sooner we realize we're always going to offend someone, the sooner we can move past it and make the impact we know we're called to make. So today I ask you, who are you going to offend?
Work That Matters: SAHM Edition
“So you just stay at home?” I was standing about 8 feet from Sarah when she was asked this question at a social gathering, but I could tell from the minute I looked at her eyes, that one hurt. We had recently become parents to twin boys. Considering her dream in life was to one day stay at home with her babies, she was in the midst of living her absolute dream. But in that moment, her confidence was wavering and the self-talk was starting to creep in. It wasn’t the first time she had received an innocent-sounding comment with an insult attached to it, but this one hurt just as much as the others.
“So you just stay at home?” I was standing about 8 feet from Sarah when she was asked this question at a social gathering, but I could tell from the minute I looked at her eyes, that one hurt. We had recently become parents to twin boys. Considering her dream in life was to one day stay at home with her babies, she was in the midst of living her absolute dream. But in that moment, her confidence was wavering and the self-talk was starting to creep in. It wasn’t the first time she had received an innocent-sounding comment with an insult attached to it, but this one hurt just as much as the others.
Stay-at-home Moms receive a lot of this type of feedback. “Do you work or do you stay at home?” “Is your husband the only one who provides?” “When will you start working again?” People don’t typically mean to be insulting or demeaning when asking these questions. Far from it. However, baked into most is a perception of laziness, lack of accomplishment, and selling themselves short.
I knew this long before I became a parent, but it was affirmed time and time again after watching Sarah be a stay-at-home Mom for the first six years of our children’s lives. It’s really freaking hard! It’s an exhausting, never-ending, thankless job, with terrible hours, and the most unreasonable bosses on planet Earth. Frankly, I’m not sure how she did it. I can say with utmost certainty that I would never in a million years be able to stay at home with kids. It’s not for lack of want, but rather because I simply couldn’t handle it. No matter how hard my work was - and it was brutal at times - it paled in comparison to what Sarah dealt with at home. For that, I’m grateful.
Moms, you’re doing amazing work. You’re doing some of the hardest and most important work on the planet. You’re literally shaping the next generation, day in and day out. There’s no compensation tied to it, there’s no status that comes with it, and the hours can be brutal. In other words, this isn’t a job you can do well unless you find deep meaning and purpose in it. Considering this blog is called The Daily Meaning, this is my way of giving you a 3-minute standing ovation.
It may not always feel like you’re being recognized or seen, but your work and your love matter. My encouragement to you is this. The fruit of your labor isn’t obvious today, tomorrow, next month, or even next year. It won’t be seen for many years to come when your kids have spread their wings and are carving out their own paths in life. When they do, and as they do, that’s when you’ll truly see how all your difficult and amazing work has paid off.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms and grandmas out there! You’re doing amazing work and I’m grateful for you.
Marty Was Right!
When my kids were babies, I remember asking my colleague, Marty, what his favorite stage of parenting was. At the time, he had two college kids and a young high schooler. Without hesitation, he answered, “every stage was my favorite stage.” What?!?! What a cop-out answer! C’mon, Marty, give me something I can use!! He went on to explain how every single stage of parenting was better than the last. It felt like the inverse of this classic scene from Office Space.
When my kids were babies, I remember asking my colleague, Marty, what his favorite stage of parenting was. At the time, he had two college kids and a young high schooler. Without hesitation, he answered, “every stage was my favorite stage.” What?!?! What a cop-out answer! C’mon, Marty, give me something I can use!! He went on to explain how every single stage of parenting was better than the last. It felt like the inverse of this classic scene from Office Space.
With my kids now six (or “six and a half” as they would clarify), I now understand exactly what Marty was talking about. Every single stage of parenting has been better than the last. This weekend, Sarah was out of town on a girls’ trip. In her absence, we had a heck of a guy’s weekend. We mowed the yard, did some landscaping, explored the Des Moines Farmer’s Market, read books, spent time at Northern Vessel, watched Star Wars, attended church, played video games, and slammed some ice cream. In other words, it was an awesome time!! I treasure the time I get to spend with them. It’s depressing to think we only have 12 more years of them home before they leave the nest to create their own life. Wow, time is scarce!
The more time that passes, the more I realize how Marty knew the secret. In the world of meaning and money, there’s no better reminder of what true meaning looks like than spending intentional time with our kids. Life and work can be crazy, and always runs the risk of hindering the time we have with our kids. I’ve been on both the winning and losing side of this coin over the years, but this weekend affirms and re-affirms how badly I want to get it right. There’s no amount of money that can justify neglecting our greatest legacy and meaning, our children.
The more I learn, the more I realize I don’t know. This motto applies to so many different aspects of life. It’s humbling…..quite humbling. I’m just grateful I have people around me who will always shoot me straight, hold me accountable, and push me to be better. Miss you, Marty! If you’re reading this, just know you’ve made much more of an impact on me than you probably realize!
The Grass Always Seems Greener
I’m not gonna lie. Pursuing meaning can be hard. A gut-wrenching, nail-biting, faith-testing, “why did I just do that?” kind of hard. Nowhere in the handbook does it tell us a life of meaning will be simple and stress-free. Whether it’s radical generosity, pouring yourself out for others, taking a counter-cultural path, doing something that’s never been done before, or facing a reality of reduced income, it can be brutally hard. Some of you are reading this and thinking this is the worst sales pitch for meaning you’ve ever heard. If all this is true, why would I still be such a champion for meaning? Because it’s worth it!
I’m not gonna lie. Pursuing meaning can be hard. A gut-wrenching, nail-biting, faith-testing, “why did I just do that?” kind of hard. Nowhere in the handbook does it tell us a life of meaning will be simple and stress-free. Whether it’s radical generosity, pouring yourself out for others, taking a counter-cultural path, doing something that’s never been done before, or facing a reality of reduced income, it can be brutally hard. Some of you are reading this and thinking this is the worst sales pitch for meaning you’ve ever heard. If all this is true, why would I still be such a champion for meaning? Because it’s worth it!
This month will be the four-year anniversary of leaving my prior career to begin my new endeavors. It’s been four of the hardest years of my life…..but also some of the most rewarding, productive, impactful, and important years. During that span, we’ve had multiple months (including recently) where there wasn’t enough monthly income to cover the bills. There are times the stress and obligations feel like too much to handle. Some days I wake up and wonder what in the world I’m doing. I think back to my old career (and the money that came with it) and wonder if life would be better had I just stayed. As a fun and somewhat depressing fact, I just realized I’ve left somewhere around $800,000 of income on the table over the past four years. When I think of it that way…..ouch!
Do I regret it? Not for a single moment. The grass always seems greener on the other side. Don’t get me wrong…..there is some vibrant, lush green grass on the other side. But some of it’s also dry, brown, and dead. We’re just so busy focusing on the one or two aspects we miss or yearn for, that we can’t see all the rest of it. Don’t worry, I do the same thing. But then I get little reminders that snap me back to a better perspective. Like this excerpt from a handwritten note I recently received from a former client:
“Because of your work, our family’s life has been changed forever.”
Wow! I got goosebumps when I read that one. I don’t think I deserve that much credit, but I’m grateful for their kind words. Someday, when we’ve taken our final breath, our legacy won’t be measured by dollars collected, professional titles and designations accumulated, or the possessions we leave behind. It will be measured by the impact we’ve made on this world and the difference we made in the lives of others. People won’t speak to what we did, but rather how we made them feel.
** I wrote this article for a handful of specific people, but I suspect a few hundred others will read it and also realize it was written just for them.
When You Take a Step Back
In all the craziness of life, do you ever take a step back and realize how far you’ve come? Or maybe you realize life looks a lot different than you anticipated it playing out? Or perhaps you just shake your head that you’ve been blessed in so many ways? As I’m writing this (late Wednesday night), I can’t help but think about all those things.
In all the craziness of life, do you ever take a step back and realize how far you’ve come? Or maybe you realize life looks a lot different than you anticipated it playing out? Or perhaps you just shake your head that you’ve been blessed in so many ways? As I’m writing this (late Wednesday night), I can’t help but think about all those things.
Today was a blur. I had an owner’s meeting for our coffee company. I had a board meeting for a local organization I’m honored to serve. I met with a client who is doing some amazing things. I popped into another client’s office to do some project work. I recorded a few podcast episodes. I had dinner with the family and walked the kids to a local ice cream shop to enjoy a little treat. I enjoyed time with my high school youth group kids. After that, I immediately hopped on a 10 PM discovery call with an Australian podcast. Now, it’s approaching midnight and I’m trying to pack for a 6 AM flight to Phoenix for a generosity conference. That 4 AM wake-up is going to hit hard! Wow!
I’m glad not every day is like this, but it’s a stark reminder of all those ponderings I mentioned above. Life is crazy. Very few of these things existed even 12 months ago. Yet, today they are a fundamental part of my life. If you get a chance, I recommend you pause, take a step back, and reflect. You’ve probably come much further than you think. It probably looks a lot different than you anticipated. You’re probably more blessed than you believe. It’s so easy to lose sight of these things. I usually do, but I’m grateful I accidentally stumbled into it tonight.
Have an awesome day, all! Enjoy the journey…..every twist and turn.
Why Not Both?
I recently found myself in a conversation with a friend when the topic navigated to work and careers. This is one of those friends that we get to be sincerely honest with, and vice versa. In the middle of the chat, he said, “I disagree with your advice to pursue work that matters.” Intrigued by this, I asked him to elaborate. In short, he thinks I put too much emphasis on work.
I recently found myself in a conversation with a friend when the topic navigated to work and careers. This is one of those friends that we get to be sincerely honest with, and vice versa. In the middle of the chat, he said, “I disagree with your advice to pursue work that matters.” Intrigued by this, I asked him to elaborate. In short, he thinks I put too much emphasis on work. His perspective is that work is work, a necessary evil amongst all the other things that provide us with meaning: family, friends, hobbies, travel, etc. Further, the more money we make in our work, the better life we’ll be able to afford (translation: more money = more meaning = more happiness). We debated this topic for a bit, and agreed our conversation would make for a good blog post……so here we are!
I understand where he’s coming from. I used to believe a version of this as well. As the conversation unfolded, he admitted to a feeling of dread every Sunday afternoon, feeling constant stress (even when he was at home), craving vacations to get away from it all, and dreaming about the day he’ll finally be able to retire and enjoy his life. Yes, he has a ton of meaning in his life. He loves his family deeply, has many close friends, actively serves and engages in his church, and has several fun hobbies. He has meaning. But his work is hurting him. Financially it’s helping him (big-time), but in many other ways, it’s slowly and secretly killing him.
Yes, it’s ok to dislike/hate your job and find a ton of meaning outside of your work. It’s your journey, not mine. I celebrate all forms of meaning and purpose. These are wonderful things. I would never demean any of that. But why can’t we have both? If half our waking hours are spent working, why wouldn’t we want this portion of our life to also have meaning? I’m not advocating for one or the other…..I’m advocating for both. I’m advocating for a life where we’re just as excited to go to work as we are to leave work. A life where we’re just as excited for the weekend to end as we are for it to get here. A life where we’re not in a rush to get to the finish line of our career.
Meaning at home AND meaning at work. Why not both?
What is Success?
Later today, I’ll be speaking at the DSM Small Business Success Summit. My talk is called What is Success?: Aligning Your Mission with Your Meaning. In it, I’m going to challenge people to throw out the traditional and cultural measuring sticks of success (sales, margins, profits, growth, etc.), and replace them with what really matters. Not what matters to me but rather what matters to them. What really matters.
Later today, I’ll be speaking at the DSM Small Business Success Summit. My talk is called What is Success?: Aligning Your Mission with Your Meaning. In it, I’m going to challenge people to throw out the traditional and cultural measuring sticks of success (sales, margins, profits, growth, etc.), and replace them with what really matters. Not what matters to me but rather what matters to them. What really matters.
This idea stems from two different places. The first is something I write and podcast about often. The behavioral science of money and happiness. If money can’t make us happy (after our needs are met), why are we using money to define success? I think it’s partly because most people sincerely (and mistakenly) believe “more’ is the answer, and partly because financial metrics are easy to track and easy to compare. It makes for a very useful and universal measuring stick.
Second, when I’m meeting with business owners and business leaders, I like to dive deep into what really matters to them. Once we get past the first few layers, we quickly discover it’s not really about money at all. Money may play a role, but what they are seeking is far deeper than money. So instead of chasing the money as a way to get to those things, why not just pursue those other things directly? It’s a powerful concept that has the power to change us and the way we live.
What about you? What do you really want? If you were to redefine what success means to you, what would it look like?
"I Get To Go to Work"
Years ago, a friend shared with me his dream of someday transitioning into a different career. This thing was his passion. Over the years, he was working jobs he didn’t necessarily love, but they paid the bills. Simultaneously, he worked on his craft as a side hustle and eventually returned to school (part-time while he worked full-time) to pursue his dream career.
Years ago, a friend shared with me his dream of someday transitioning into a different career. This thing was his passion. Over the years, he was working jobs he didn’t necessarily love, but they paid the bills. Simultaneously, he worked on his craft as a side hustle and eventually returned to school (part-time while he worked full-time) to pursue his dream career.
Fast forward, he made it! He recently started a job in the field he dreamt about all those years back. When I asked him how it was going so far, his wife quickly chimed in. She shared how he randomly exclaimed one day, “I get to go to work!!!” He didn’t have to go to work…..he was blessed with the opportunity to do his work. It wasn’t an obligation….it was a privilege. He didn’t dread it…..he looked forward to it.
He just unlocked a whole new level of meaning in his life. It wasn’t an accident. He didn’t stumble into it. It was an intentional choice, that required a lot of work and sacrifice, with very real consequences. He made a decision very few would have. He could have taken a simpler, easier, more predictable path. Instead, he chose meaning. Many in today’s culture would have told him to make as much money as he can, and hoard as much of it as possible, so he can retire sooner rather than later (you know, so he can finally enjoy his life). Instead, he chooses to live with joy, today. He’s not working now so he can enjoy life someday. He’s choosing to enjoy life…..period.
I couldn’t be more excited for them, and I’m grateful for the example he’s living by. I hope others see how he’s living and ultimately decide to take a similar path. The path of meaning, purpose, impact, and joy.
Chaos: The Entry Price to Meaning
As I’m writing this, I’m mere hours from hopping onto an international flight where my wife and I will spend some time in Asia and the Middle East. To be honest, I’m stressed. Between packing, trying to get time with the kids, meeting with clients, running errands, and preparing for some upcoming speaking engagements, it’s been a lot to handle. Probably too much. Strike that…..definitely too much.
As I’m writing this, I’m mere hours from hopping onto an international flight where my wife and I will spend some time in Asia and the Middle East. To be honest, I’m stressed. Between packing, trying to get time with the kids, meeting with clients, running errands, and preparing for some upcoming speaking engagements, it’s been a lot to handle. Probably too much. Strike that…..definitely too much.
If I’m being honest with myself, my life could be significantly less chaotic. I could settle into a more stable job, I could say “no” to the various organizations I serve, and I could hunker down with my family where the schedule would be much more predictable. For better or worse, chaos is the entry price to a life of meaning. I probably don’t help myself at times, but some level of chaos is what we signed up for when we chose this life.
Some days I wish it away. Some days I just want to quit. Some days I yearn for a simpler existence. Then, I have a conversation with a client and remember why I do what I do. Then, I wrap up a board meeting and am reminded why I’m serving that organization. Then, I walk off the stage from a speaking engagement and recognize why I spent all that time preparing. Every step of the way, when doubt seeps in, something happens to affirm why I do what I do. Each time that happens, I realize chaos is the entry price to a life of meaning. It’s hard, but worth it.
Not Making It About Money
A while back, a client called me with an idea. Well, it was partly an idea and partly wanting me to tell them “no.” There was an opportunity on the table for them, but it felt like a bad financial decision. They were right…..it was a terrible financial decision. There was no possible way to spin this into a “good financial move.” However, by the time our 15-minute conversation concluded, I strongly encouraged them to do it anyway. This shocked them.
A while back, a client called me with an idea. Well, it was partly an idea and partly wanting me to tell them “no.” There was an opportunity on the table for them, but it felt like a bad financial decision. They were right…..it was a terrible financial decision. There was no possible way to spin this into a “good financial move.” However, by the time our 15-minute conversation concluded, I strongly encouraged them to do it anyway. This shocked them.
Why would a money guy encourage a client to make a bad financial decision!?!? It’s simple: money is NEVER about money. It’s always about something bigger. To me, this decision was the biggest no-brainer on the planet. There were countless upsides to this decision, with money being the only downside.
As the conversation was coming to an end, I encouraged them to pray about it, discuss it some more, and confidently make the best decision for them. They ended up choosing the bad financial decision. I was so proud of them for taking a counter-cultural approach of not letting money drive their decision. Instead of carrying the guilt and pressure of making financial progress, they made a decision that significantly improved their quality of life.
Fast forward several months, I excitedly asked them how they feel about this decision now that it has played out over time. They responded, “that decision has already paid off ten-fold.” Meaning over money. Always meaning over money.
"I Lost My Job....Now What?"
Amidst all the Coronavirus memes, toilet paper rantings, and day-in-day-out inconveniences of the self-quarantine, there are a lot of people struggling financially. Millions upon millions of Americans are losing their jobs. Regardless of what you think about the seriousness of COVID-19, the media’s portrayal of it, or our government’ handling of it, the reality is people are hurting. Some medically, some financially, and some both.
A few weeks ago, as we were just starting to experience the front end of this thing, I wrote a piece called “Prepare, Hope.” In it, I laid out five things all of us need to do in order to navigate these rough waters, financially speaking. In case you don’t want to read it, here’s the cliff notes version: leave your investments alone, make sure you have a healthy emergency fund, don’t make any major financial decisions, make sure everyone in your household is covered by health insurance, and don’t stop your generosity.
Those five pieces of advice are just as relevant today as they were a few weeks ago when I first wrote about them. However, some of you are losing incomes and/or losing jobs. If that’s you, the five pieces of advice above simply aren’t good enough. You need more! So if you’re asking “I lost my job….now what?”, here are some practical next steps to give yourself an opportunity to bridge the gap between this negative situation and your brighter tomorrow:
Get rid of the guilt
Losing a job can be utterly demoralizing. It makes us feel like a failure and strips us of a piece of our identity. We walk around through life feeling like we’re making the right decisions and have some sense of security, until it’s all stripped from us. Please don’t beat yourself up over this, unless you successfully predicted a guy in China would eat a bat that would cause a global pandemic, essentially destroying the travel, tourism, entertainment, and food/beverage industries overnight, all the while reducing demand for most products and services to zero while the world self-quarantines. If you saw all that coming, then yes you should be beating yourself up. If you didn’t, then you’re human just like the rest of us. As I often say, we can only control what we can control. Unfortunately, we can’t control the gut-wrenching decisions our employers have to make. Hear me out: this isn’t your fault! I know people who were absolutely crushing it in their careers two weeks ago…..and now don’t have a job. If you feel guilt, or regret, or blame for your Coronavirus-induced job loss, please work through it and get to a place where you acknowledge there’s nothing you could have done differently.
File for Unemployment
“Unemployment” feels like a four-letter word to a lot of people. It feels like a hand-out. It feels like cheating. Please hear me: it’s not! This is what the program was designed for. This is why employers pay a tax specifically for this. It’s meant to protect people who lose their job. Don’t think of it as a hand-out, but rather a hand-up. We need to humble ourselves to do what’s best for our family, and for most of us that means immediately filing for unemployment as soon as we lose our job. A lot of people are asking the question “do I even qualify for unemployment?” Here’s my advice: just apply! So many people are sharing false information, half-baked knowledge, and bad assumptions. The best way to know if you qualify for unemployment is to apply for unemployment. Each industry and each job has its own unique set of circumstances. Also consider there is new legislation being discussed and negotiated all the time. Just apply! The worst they can do is tell you “no.” If you lose your income, immediately file for unemployment and figure out what benefits you are eligible to receive.
Contact your landlord or lender
If you’ve lost a meaningful amount of income as a result of this pandemic, reach out to your landlord (if you rent) or your lender (if you own) and ask for relief. Most lenders are showing a lot of grace and mercy to their borrowers. They don’t want to kick you out of your house any more than you want to be kicked out. Call them and just be honest. Be humble and don’t go into the conversation expecting anything. Be grateful and courteous. A common outcome for these situations is lenders waiving 2-3 months of payments, and simply tacking them onto the end of the term. So they aren’t giving you a free pass…..just some temporary relief to get your financial life back on track.
Landlords are more hit-and-miss, as they too are typically subject to their lender’s decisions. But similar to lenders, landlords don’t want to evict you any more than you want to be evicted. Contact them as soon as possible, be humble and honest with them, and ask for some grace. Landlords, I implore you to step up and do what you can! This is your chance to play the role of the hero. Be the hero today and watch it come back around to you ten-fold after all this mess clears up. Show mercy and give whatever grace you can afford to financially stomach. We’re all in this together.
Contact your Federal student loan servicer
If you have Federal student loans and you lose income, immediately reach out to the company who services your loan (i.e. who you make your payments to) and ask for relief. All Federal student loan borrowers have the right to stop making payments through September 30th, 2020. If you haven’t lost any income, I don’t recommend you take this step…..it’s only delaying your eventual payoff (which I hope is soon!). However, if you’ve lost a meaningful amount of income and you’re feeling the financial stress, make the call and get these payment suspended through September. My tip of the cap goes to our Federal government for making this one happen! Thank you!
Cut back your budget
If you’ve lost income, it’s time to go on red-alert lockdown. Any spending that’s not absolutely necessary needs to stop. Food, transportation, and shelter. Everything else needs to go…..not forever, but for the season. You need to cut things back as far as you can to ease the pressure as much as possible. Hopefully you have an emergency fund available, in which case lowering your expenses will allow the emergency fund to last longer. Let’s say your monthly budget is $5,000 and your basic needs account for $3,000 of it. Let’s also say you have an emergency fund of $10,000. If you keep the same lifestyle, your emergency fund is enough to cover 2 months of living expenses. If you cut back to just the basic needs, your emergency fund can last you a bit more than 3 months. That extra month could make all the difference in the world!
Find near-term income
I know I’m probably playing the role of Captain Obvious here, but if we lose our job and we we don’t have a robust emergency fund to bridge the gap for several months, we need to quickly replace the lost income. Unemployment is a band-aid, not a cure. The cure is finding income that fills in the gap. Now this doesn’t need to be the job of your dreams. It just needs to be income. There’s a time and a place to find the job of your dreams, but right now the goal is to make it through all this pandemic mess. We need to have the utmost humility in this season of life. Grocery stores are hiring, big-box stores are hiring, delivery services are hiring. Start asking around in your social circles. Someone who knows someone in your circle is hiring. If you take the approach of “there are no jobs”, then you’re right…..there will be no jobs for you. However, if you take a proactive and positive approach, you will absolutely find work.
Re-assess what’s most important
Many of us have been working traditional jobs we don’t really enjoy because the world tells us we need something “secure”, and “safe”, and “reliable.” Whether we believe it or not, there’s no such thing as security. No job is secure, no job is safe, and no job is reliable. We’re all replaceable. I used to have a very “important”, high-profile job. I was extremely valuable to the organization and helped make them a lot of money. You know what happened when I left? They replaced me in two days and didn’t miss a beat. We are all replaceable. So here’s a question: if we truly understand no job is “secure”, or “safe”, or “reliable”, why are we making career decisions based around this false belief? If we finally come to terms with the fact there’s no such thing as security, that should free us up to pursue what we’re truly meant to do. What a liberating feeling!!
During this season of life, I beg you to explore what you’re truly meant to do in this life. You’ve already been forced out of your old career, so why not use this as an opportunity to reinvent yourself? We still need to find short-term income to get us through this mess, but we can also start to develop skills, relationships, and opportunities to propel ourselves into the next season of life so we can live it with purpose, with passion, and with meaning. I hope some of you join me in this pursuit, as there is nothing better. Let’s get through the scary, and move into the awesome. As with all terrible things, this too shall pass. The only question is what you’ll be doing after the clouds dissipate and the rough waters smooth out. For many of you, this new-found curse of unemployment will ultimately be the turning point in life. Many of you will look back and say it was the best thing to ever happen to you. I pray that for each and every one of you.
God bless each and every one of you. I’m sorry for what you’re going through, but also believe your future is better than your past. If there’s anything I can do to help, please don’t hesitate to reach out. We’re in this together!!!
The Choice
I didn’t set out to plagiarize my close friend and mentor Dr. Gary Hoag’s amazing book, The Choice, when I started writing this post……but here we are. Sorry, Gary! Rather, I was contemplating a text I received from a friend this morning. After some back-and-forth regarding a few of my recent blog posts, I asked him a question: “Which topics/components do you think resonate with people?” He responded with “There’s a desire to make a difference, but a feeling that you have to either get paid to work for the man, or make a difference and be a struggling artist type.”
As I’m sitting in my office pondering these words, I look down and spot my copy of Gary’s book sitting before me (see, Gary, I am reading your stuff!!!). Two simple words in big, bold white letters, “The Choice”, scream right off the cover of the book and into my periphery. We make choices every day. We choose what to wear, what to eat, who to spend our time with, what podcasts to listen to, and what NBA superstar jersey we’re going to buy our toddlers next (just me?). But there seems to be this HUGE choice that lingers over all of us, every single day. The choice of what to do with the majority of our waking hours. The choice of how we are going to use our talents and passions to make an impact. The choice of where our life’s energy will go. Such a huge choice!
As I’m considering my buddy’s words about this choice, I thought back to a very intense conversation I had with Gary over FaceTime last year. I was teetering back-and-forth on the idea of leaving my awesome career to do something totally crazy. It was one of those days where the self-talk was thick. “What are you doing!?!” “You’re going to fail!” “Don’t be irresponsible, you can never make a living doing what you want to do.” Every insult possible was hurled my way…..by my own mean self. I did what I always do when the self-talk ramps up……I engage a trusted mentor. This was one of those I-remember-exactly-where-I-was-when-it-happened kind of moments. I distinctly remember shouting at Gary - in my doubt and frustration - “Yeah, but what I’m thinking about doing hasn’t even been legitimized. There’s no proof this will actually work.” Gary smiled and responded (too) calmly, “Only God gets to decide what’s legitimate.” Thus I started chewing on the slice of humble pie Gary was serving up, piping hot!
Fast forward several months, I left my career, took a 90% pay cut, and set out to build a new career. Nine months later, I’m able to support my family financially, the business is growing, and I’m already dreaming about what’s next. I often think back to that conversation with Gary and his virtual slap in the face. He was right! Had I not listened to him, and instead listened to my self-talk and the culture around us, I would have made a different choice. I would have chosen “normal”, safe, predictable, and comfortable. Instead, I chose uncertainty, impact, trust, and purpose.
Here’s an interesting thing about this choice, specifically the two options laid out by my friend. We don’t actually have to choose between “getting paid” and “making a difference.” Though I took a 90% pay cut, there’s a legit chance I eventually get to the point where I make as much (or more) in my new career than I did in my old career. If I’m pouring out my passion, using my gifts, serving people well, making an impact, and truly setting out to make the difference I know God is asking me to make, there’s no reason the income can’t follow. That doesn’t drive my decisions and ultimately I don’t really care, but that’s a reality we often don’t think about. It’s not an either/or type of choice. Rather, it’s an “I trust God” or “I don’t trust God” type of choice…….and an “I value money” or “I value meaning” type of choice. Whether we realize it or not, we make these choices every day, as not making a choice is still making a choice.
If I were still at my old job, this week I would have received a pretty sizable bonus. Out of respect for my former employer I won’t disclose what it would be…….but it’s a LOT! A former co-worker asked me a few days ago if this “lost bonus” gives me any regrets. Honestly, no. That money would be nice and could do a lot of cool things, but today my life is awesome and I get to dedicate each and every day to doing cool things. It’s honestly an unfair exchange, in my favor. Giving up a large chunk of money to violently pursue what I know to be God’s calling in my life. Knowing what I know today, in hindsight, it was the easiest decision I ever made.
So as I try to land this plane, here are my top three takeaways about this choice:
Every day is a new opportunity to make a choice.
Not making a choice is still making a choice.
Find a few amazing mentors in life that will build you up, be real with you, encourage you when you need it most, and help you make better choices. We can’t do it alone…..and luckily we don’t have to!
What choice will you make?