Don’t Picture Them Naked
My crippling fear of public speaking is well documented. Years ago, I recognized the importance public speaking would have in my career. Speaking in front of clients, colleagues, investment committees, and the like. I didn't want that, but it seemed inevitable. As I started the process of overcoming my fear, I asked people for speaking advice and tips:
Keep the mic close to my face.
Don't pace back and forth.
Don't talk for too long.
Don't vomit within eyeshot of the crowd.
Know your audience.
Make eye contact.
Picture them naked.
All of that was great advice…..until the whole naked part. Have you ever tried imagining the person you were talking to was naked? Never mind, don't answer that. So many people gave me that advice. Sure, sure, I'll just picture hundreds of people sitting shoulder-to-shoulder, naked, attentively watching me speak. Nothing weird about that. Yeah, that sounds like a perfectly normal and rational scenario.
It's safe to say I didn't utilize this piece of advice. However, a slightly different version of this advice significantly altered my perspective while on stage. It has nothing to do with the garments the crowd is or isn't wearing. Rather, it's about why they are there and what they are thinking.
Here's what someone once told me. The audience WANTS the speaker to succeed. The audience is cheering for them. Why? Nobody wants to be part of a train wreck. Nobody wants to personally endure the unwinding of someone's reputation and dignity. Further, the audience WANTS to experience something powerful and impactful. Otherwise, they are just wasting their time. In other words, most people in those seats are our advocates. It's simply our job to deliver well and affirm what they are already hoping for.
When I learned this, and actually believed it, it changed everything! In the years since hearing this perspective, I started adopting it in other areas of my life. Sure, there will absolutely be people in our life who get jealous. There's no way around that. However, I've found most people in my life want me to succeed. They want to cheer me on. They want to be part of something cool, not a dumpster fire. On the flip side, I feel the same way about people in my life. I get even more satisfaction and joy out of watching my people thrive. I'm one of their biggest fans, and I want them to know it.
Knowing people are on our side can change everything. First, know you aren't alone. People are rooting for you. Let them rally around you and hold you up when you can't hold yourself up. Second, be sure to let people in your life know that you have their back, believe in them, and are their biggest cheerleader. It makes a world of difference!