“Are You Comfortable?”

As I was on my way to a board meeting yesterday, I received a call from our Media Director, Rebekah. It was just a typical chat about a number of items on our plate, but she introduced the idea of me appearing on a fairly popular TV program. I think she could tell the other end of the phone seemed a bit too silent, so she asked the question, “Are you comfortable with that?”

My answer: “No, I’m not. Which is why we should do it.”

I believe comfort is a trap. It lulls us into complacency and provides an artificial feeling of security, sucking meaning out of our lives. Truth is, I’ll be utterly terrified if Rebekah ends up nailing down this (or any) TV appearance for us.

Anything can make us uncomfortable…..until we do it. The first time I recorded a podcast episode I was scared out of my mind. After a few episodes, it just felt like part of my life. The first time I spoke on stage in front of a few hundred people, I vomited in a trash can backstage. A few dozen talks later, it became one of my favorite things in the world.

One last thought about comfort. We don’t need to take extreme measures to push ourselves out of our comfort zone. Small steps can take us a long way. If we’re scared of heights, we don’t need to jump out of a plane. Maybe a good first step is to spend a few minutes on the balcony of a 10th floor residential unit. Just one small step at a time, then another.

As you venture into your day, ask yourself where you’ve become too comfortable…..then take a small step to get just outside that zone. It’s scary, but worth it!

The New Student Loan (Forgiveness) Crisis

We have a student loan crisis brewing in America. No, not the $1.75 trillion (and growing) of collective student loan debt that’s hindered the future of two generations. That crisis is well-documented, and tragic. The crisis I’m talking about today has more to do with the recent student loan forgiveness program.

Let’s rewind a bit, shall we? In March 2020, as COVID wrecked everything we knew as “normal”, the Federal government enacted a freeze on all student loan payments (and interest accrual). This has since been extended eight times, and payments are scheduled to commence on 9/1/2023 (barring another extension).

In the meantime, the Biden Administration launched a program to forgive $10,000 of outstanding Federal student loan debt (or $20,000 if you had Pell Grants) so long as your income is less than $125,000 (or a combined $250,000 if married). Millions of Americans immediately applied in late 2022 when the online application went live. Then just as fast as it launched, it was paused. Several lawsuits were brought against the Federal government, claiming the government didn’t have the authority to issue widespread forgiveness in the way it was executed. This sudden turn of events emotionally crushed many, causing widespread anger and dissension. But this isn’t the crisis, either.

Unbeknownst to most people, this same student loan forgiveness program applied to people who actually paid off their loans since the freeze began in March 2020. So instead of applying to have their loans forgiven, they were applying to get a refund for the qualified $10,000 or $20,000 sums. It’s difficult to discern how many people qualified for refunds, but statistics show approximately 9 million people paid on their loans since the freeze began. Many of my clients fell into this group, as they took advantage of the freeze to finally free themselves of the burden of their debt by aggressively paying them off. Amazing work!

This is where things get weird. Instead of going through the Federal government and waiting for their approval (which was obviously paused with the lawsuits), their respective loan servicers were the ones processing these requests. Lo and behold, checks started arriving. Hundreds of thousands of Americans (or perhaps millions?) have been receiving refund checks for their student loans. According to the texts, calls, and DMs I’ve been receiving, these checks are still arriving in people’s mailboxes.

Here’s the crisis. Many of these people have excitedly received these checks, then quickly spent them. After all, $10,000-$20,000 is a LOT of money. But here’s the new reality: if the lawsuit succeeds and the loan forgiveness program dies, these checks will turn into new debt. I’ve had multiple clients reach out and tell me when they log into their student loan account, they now have an outstanding balance that mirrors the checks they received. And just like that, after all that work, discipline, and sacrifice, many borrowers find themselves unknowingly back in debt.

If this is you, or perhaps someone you know, here’s what I recommend:

• Don’t spend it. This isn’t your money (yet).

• Don’t send it back. If the forgiveness goes through, you’ll be glad you already have this money. There’s no telling how hard it will be to get your money down the road if you have to re-apply for it.

• Put it somewhere safe….and leave it there. A savings account or high-yield savings account should do the trick. Just set it aside, and leave it alone.

Once all this mess gets sorted out in the courts, you’ll hopefully have a clear road map on how to handle your situation…..one way or another. But please don’t sabotage your financial life in the meantime. You worked so hard to get here. Don’t let this blessing turn into a curse.

Inflation and the Projection of Circumstance

The elephant in the room for the last year has been inflation. If someone didn’t know what inflation was before, and certainly never talked about it during the course of their day-to-day life, that’s probably changed. Everyone now has thoughts and feelings about inflation. Inflation is everywhere. We see it when we go to the grocery store, when we put gasoline in our vehicles, when we go out to eat, when we purchase vehicles, and in pretty much every other area of life (well, except for Costco hot dogs and Arizona Iced Tea).

I’ve watched a certain phenomenon play out in many areas of life for years, especially as it pertains to work and money, and the recent inflation conversation has shined a spotlight on it. Everyone seems to have differing perspectives on inflation, and they vary wildly. Now one would think their perspective would be correlated to their education and/or area of expertise. However, that’s not the case. Their perspective is more closely tied to their own experience with inflation. In other words, they are projecting their own circumstances into the broader discussion.

As I see it, and as I walk alongside several families in my coaching, most people fit into one of three different groups when it comes to inflation:

1) Lots of Margin - These people had lots of margin in their financial life. Recent Inflation has reduced their margin but they haven’t had to sacrifice much. Their basic needs are easily met and they can still buy pretty much anything they want. Instead of going on three elaborate vacations this year, they may only do two.

2) Some Margin - These people had some margin in their financial life. Recent inflation has significantly reduced or eliminated their margin. The result of this is a profound alteration in their life. They have decreased or halted their saving/investing, given up some of their wants, or have become quite intentional with their basic needs.

3) Little-to-No Margin - These people had very little margin to begin with, if any, and are now being absolutely crushed. Just putting food on the table, gas in their car, and a roof over their head have become a constant battle. Second (or third) jobs and credit cards have become a means of survival.

These are the lenses through which people see and experience inflation. It makes a world of difference. This isn’t my attempt to condemn anyone or make people feel guilty. Rather, I want to shine a light on this idea of projection and perhaps we can be more empathetic to other people’s journeys. We need to see past our own circumstances if we hope to understand what others are going through. Or even better, if you’re in group #1, find ways to give a financial hand-up to someone in group #2 or #3. This is a season - a tough season - that we all just need to get through. And there’s no better way than to get through it together.

The Chance to Make a Difference

I have several public speaking opportunities coming up in the next several weeks. I get equally nervous as I get excited, each and every time. The nerves and the excitement come from the very same place: knowing I have a chance to make a difference. Excited because I have a chance to make a difference, and nervous because I have a chance to make a difference. What an opportunity and what a responsibility.

There’s a chance I’ll fall flat on my face…..and that chance is far greater than 1%. I try not to think about that. I try to focus my energy on the chance I have to make a difference. That goes for these speaking engagements, but it also applies to the podcast, this blog, every client meeting, and even those moments I spend having coffee with a friend, stranger, or youth group kid.

When we wake up in the morning, there are a series of opportunities in front of us that day to make a difference. We won’t always succeed, but that’s not the point. The bigger question is, will I try? Will you try? Will we embrace that opportunity and make the most of it? Man, I hope I do. Please pray for me. I need it.

Let me know what you have coming up. I’ll pray for you, too!

You Can Always Go Back

I was days away from making one of the biggest decisions of my life. I was 99% sure I was about to resign from my career, make a complete 180-degree shift, and take a 90% pay cut to do something unconventional. To be honest, I was scared out of my mind. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, and my mind was continually racing. Then, I found myself sitting face-to-face with a trusted friend. Yeah, he too thought I was absolutely out of my mind. He told me as such, elaborated on why I was, then reaffirmed his opinion that I was, in fact, insane. But then, he added, “So what if you fail? You could always go back.”

Wow. I hadn’t thought of it like that before. In my mind, I was slamming a door in life, nailing it shut, then covering it with concrete. It’s as though I was forever locking my path in a new direction, for better or for worse. The reality is, I wasn’t. He was right! What’s the worst that could have happened? If push came to shove, and I fell flat on my face, I could always go back to my old career (or something resembling it).

While the idea of utter embarrassing failure didn’t necessarily give me a warm and fuzzy feeling, it did help put the entire situation in perspective. If my idea works, our family’s dream comes true. If I fall flat on my face, I eat a slice of humble pie and we move on to something else. The cost/benefit seemed obvious, though still scary.

3.5 years later, I’m living in both worlds. Our family is living our dream life…..and I’m eating little slices of humble pie along the way. It’s way harder than I could have ever imagined it being, but far more worth it than I could have ever imagined.

I’m not advocating everyone leave their career and take a huge pay cut to do something completely different. That just happens to be my story and I’m the one writing this. But you have yours. There’s something in your life you’re scared to do. You know what it is. Just a reminder: You can always go back.

Giving Money a Purpose

Yesterday, I was in the middle of a coaching session with a new client (they are awesome!) when a hugely important topic came up. I was walking them through the idea and execution of sinking funds (i.e. separate named bank accounts for specific categories - travel, house, car, medical, etc.) I don’t remember the exact wording, but to paraphrase, they were curious why someone would do it this way rather than just having all the money in one account and mentally earmarked for future use. I absolutely love this question!

In theory, having all the money in one big pot would achieve the same purpose….and be administratively easier. However, in practice, it makes a world of difference. Here are a few reasons why:

Commitment: If we house all our money in one big pot, we can just make an impulsive decision and mentally reallocate the funds from one use to another. It takes no energy or work to butcher months (or possibly years) of work. When we separate these funds into unique accounts that are specifically named for that use, we’re less likely to reallocate this money for a different use. Doing so requires us to consciously make a decision and physically transfer money from one fund to another.

Emotion: If we house all our money in one big pot, it’s easy for us to feel guilty or regretful about a particular decision we’ve made. For example, let’s say we’ve set aside some money for a trip to Disney. The moment we feel financial stress, we’ll think to ourselves, “well maybe there’s a more responsible use for this money. After all, I don’t NEED this trip.” And just like that, we’ve dismantled our trip and all the amazing memories that surely would have come from it. When we separate these same funds into our travel sinking fund, it’s clear what these monies are for. There’s no doubt about it. “Travel Fund.” It’s literally in the name of the bank account! When we do this, we’re emotionally able to let go of the guilt and the regret, and simply go enjoy that trip. It sounds silly, but it’s true!

Administrative: The idea of sinking funds sounds administratively difficult. After all, having multiple accounts seems more complex than having fewer accounts. However, the execution is an entirely different story. When we push money into these accounts each month as part of our budget, it’s clear where the money goes. When we want to know how much money we have for our next trip, there’s an account balance staring at us. And when we start spending these funds (plane tickets, hotels, gas, etc.), we always know where we stand with the remaining balance. In other words, we get transparency, and with that transparency comes better decisions.

If you’re interested in setting up sinking funds for your finances, most credit unions allow it. Most banks don’t, with one exception being Wells Fargo. If your bank doesn’t (like mine), CapitalOne 360 Performance Savings accounts work great. I’ve been using this platform for more than 15 years, as do many of my clients. If you want to hear more about sinking funds, we did a podcast episode about the topic back in June 2021. You can listen on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Have an amazing day!

We Don't Know What We Don't Know

As I always do, I recently asked a clear but open-ended question to a prospective coaching client, “why are you here?” The answer to this question tells me a lot about someone and the direction this conversation could/should go. Some people have a very clear objective, while others have more of a gut feeling this is a conversation worth having. On this particular day, the husband had a short and concise answer. “We don’t know what we don’t know.”

As we unpacked their financial lives and careers at a high level, it quickly became apparent to me they are doing better than probably 95% of people in this country. In most areas of their finances, they are thriving and have achieved tremendous success. To an extent, they are aware of this. However, they also don’t have much to compare it to. They explained how they try to do the best they can, but don’t always feel confident they are. I immediately confirmed how well they are doing, and tried to put it into a context that would move the emotional needle for them.

On the flip side, there are a few areas where they lacked focus, insight, and progress. Again, they weren’t really aware of how much they have fallen short in these particular areas. They immediately took note of these shortfalls, presumably for future reference.

When I asked what they attribute all their success to, they responded, “we don’t know what we don’t know, so we just keep asking questions and try to learn.” It seems a bit ironic: they know a lot about these topics because they humbly admit they don’t know a lot about these topics…..which enables and propels them to learn about these topics.

I know I’ve been guilty of feeling like I knew a lot about a topic, which caused me to stop learning and growing. I want to be more like this couple, though. Humble, curious, and open to grow. There’s always something to learn, and someone to learn it from.

What’s one area of life you want to grow in 2023?

1% Better

My friend TJ, founder and CEO of Northern Vessel Coffee Company, continually talks about the idea of getting a little bit better all the time. Or as he refers to it, “1% better every day.” When we hear this phrase, it sounds like a nice gentle upwards slope. 1% isn’t a lot, after all. All we need to do is get just a little bit better today, then just a bit better tomorrow.

Along those lines, my buddy, Louie, recently invited me into a Facebook group with one very simple mission. Everyone in the group will do one pushup on the first of January. Then two on the second. Then three on the third……and we will repeat for all 365 days of 2023. Sounds simple. In fact, my three pushups yesterday were a breeze! Also, can I note it was a 50% increase from the day prior? I’m crushing it! Ask me again how I’m feeling on day 45…..

We’re going to get a little bit better each day, one pushup at a time. It seems quite simple…..until I realize that means by NYE 2023 I’ll have done nearly 67,000 pushups on the year. Yikes! Little improvements, huge results. To be honest, I’ve never been overly dedicated to physical fitness. I always find stumbling blocks, excuses, and other reasons to push pause (i.e. quit). This will be the test of a lifetime for me.

Handing our finances is much the same way. If we get just a little bit better at budgeting, or generosity, or leaning into our values, or investing, or improving our career skills, or a number of other things, the upside is staggering. Not all at once, not instantly, and not even tomorrow, but slowly over a time.

You deserve better……yes, 1% better.

Done is Better Than Perfect

Per our normal rhythm, I record Meaning Over Money podcast episodes by myself, then let Cole know the episode is ready for his editing magic. We also tend to be 2-3 weeks ahead of schedule, with 4-6 episodes in the can at any given time. That changed recently during the holiday season. Between our crazy schedules, travel, and celebrations, we simply took our eye off the ball. It all culminated on New Year’s weekend when I let Cole know Monday’s episode was ready for him to edit. He quickly informed me he would be completely tied up all weekend and wouldn’t be in a position to produce it in time for Monday’s launch.

In that moment, we could have easily decided not to release an episode on Monday. It wouldn’t have been the end of the world. After all, we’ve released two episodes per week, on our scheduled release day, for 93 consecutive weeks. So one missed day wouldn’t have damaged us. But we have a motto: “done is better than perfect.” Actually, this is Cole’s motto. I’m a recovering perfectionist and Cole has beaten his mantra into me over the years. In fact, if it were up to me, we’d still be thinking about someday starting a podcast. That’s how much of a perfectionist I was

Our solution? I recorded a totally raw, totally unedited episode about this very idea, then hit publish. The episode wasn’t perfect…..but it was done. And frankly, I felt really good about it. I would have loved this episode to have proper editing, intros and outros, and all the other bells and whistles we expect from ourselves. But done is better than perfect.

Here’s what I’ve learned over time. Something done can impact people. It might not be perfect (err, it will NEVER be perfect), but done is always better than perfect. Done = impact. Something released into the world - with all its imperfections and flaws - can add value to someone’s journey. Conversely, perfection = potential. When we hold onto something and wait until it’s perfect, it can’t impact anyone. Nobody benefits from unreleased work while the creator pursues perfection. And the problem with perfection is it will never come. There’s always something to improve, to change, to enhance.

So what about you? Are you holding onto something in pursuit of perfection? Send it, launch it, publish it, share it……do whatever you need to do. Done is better than perfect!

You can listen to this podcast episode on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Pick Your One Thing

I was recently talking to a frustrated parent who was sharing their displeasure with their grown child’s financial habits….or lack thereof. In the conversation, they listed a dozen things this young adult needs to do better in order to get their financial life back on track. Things like stop spending on frivolous things, save more, get an emergency fund, get a second job, pay off their debt, start investing……and the list goes on and on. These things very well may be true, but there was a problem. If this young adult actually tries to do all these things, they will inevitably fail. They can’t go from having little-to-no healthy financial habits to implementing a dozen new things into their life at once. That’s a setup for defeat. It’s like telling me - who wants to get in better shape - I should run 3 miles each morning, do some yoga during lunch, and lift at night……7 days per week. There’s no chance I make it even 4 days doing this. Personal finance is the same.

If I were sitting down for coffee with this young person, I’d tell them to pick one thing and get really good at it. Any one of them would move them in a positive direction, but they must pick one and focus hard on it. Through repetition, they will create a stronger habit and continually get better at it. Eventually, it will just be something they do, like brushing their teeth.

For most people, the best and most effective place to start is to get in the habit of budgeting. Accounting for ALL income they have coming in this month, making sure each dollar has a purpose (spend/save/give), executing that plan, and tracking their progress. Then repeat again next month. The first few months will likely be ugly, but give yourself grace. Learn from the experience then do better next time. In a handful of months, you’ll wonder how you ever handled your money without a budget. Once you lock down this habit, all the other aspects of personal finance become accessible.

Even if you do well in this money arena, there’s always room to grow. What’s your one thing for this season of life? What one thing will you implement to enhance the quality of your life?

The Test of Time and Space

As I’m writing this, it’s mid-afternoon on New Year’s Eve. Today is a big day. Well, not today, technically. 20 years ago, at this very hour, was a big day. 3PM on December 31st, 2002. That’s when I arrived at a grungy (at best) apartment in Memphis, TN. After an exhausting 10-hour drive, I anxiously but excitedly walked into an unfamiliar building, in an unfamiliar city, in an unfamiliar state, and met an unfamiliar person. His name was Brook, and he too had just moved into this apartment. He was from Penn State and we were both about to embark upon an internship experience at International Paper Company. Think of it as Dunder Mifflin before Dunder Mifflin even existed, but much bigger and not nearly as funny. What we didn’t know at the time was it would be about a whole lot more than a simple internship.

Us living together was an arrangement of finances and convenience. We were both broke college kids who needed a cheap place to live, hopefully close to the office. Through e-mail, we made that happen. But what we were unknowingly doing was creating a lifelong friendship that withstood the test of time and space. He and I, along with our third amigo Nick (who was a local Memphis kid who also shared the internship experience), have remained close 20 years after that experience. Fun fact: we’ve only seen each other in person maybe 6 times since we lived together (3 of which were our respective weddings). Yet, we still talk weekly (or more).

What’s interesting about Brook and I’s relationship is we aren’t alike….at all. We have vastly different views on politics, faith, culture, finances, sports teams, and pretty much every topic imaginable. But what we do have is love for one another and a mutual respect for each other’s perspectives. I’ve learned a lot from Brook, and I suspect he’d say the same about me. In a life where I’ve gotten a lot of things drastically wrong, this is one thing I can say I’ve got remarkably right. Whether it’s Brook, Nick, Ryan, Dan, Gary, or a handful of other people who I have deeply genuine and honest relationships with, I’m so grateful for those bonds that withstand the test of time and space. I hope you also have a Brook in your life. That’s what the idea of meaning over money is all about…..the meaning.

What's Most Important?

Wow! I blinked and a year went by. 2022 was filled with so much beauty, struggle, uncertainty, wonder, and pain. Though many things didn’t go as I would have hoped, it was a wonderful year and I genuinely believe I served my purpose. It would be easy for me to dwell on my failures, but today I’m going to celebrate the wins. There’s much to be thankful for.

As we dive head-first into the new year, here’s my question: what’s most important to you? Many people will clearly know their answer…..then spend the next 365 days making decisions that are incongruent with it. This is my challenge to you today. Really think about what’s most important to you for 2023, then align your decisions with that answer. It’s a scary journey when we do that. To aggressively pursue our greatest calling despite cultural norms, financial pressures, and personal desires is a daunting task. But it’s a task worth pursuing.

To be honest, I’m scared of what it means in my life. I know what my answer is. I know what decisions I need to make to align with my answer. It’s going to be hard. Strike that. It will likely be one of the most difficult things I’ve ever endeavored. I’m ready (I think), and I hope you are, too.

Cheers to the crazy year we’re saying goodbye to, and the unlimited possibilities of the year upon us. Happy New Year, Everyone! The best is yet to come.

Too Much of a Good Thing

I get a massage once every six weeks or so. It’s absolutely wonderful!. I decided to prioritize this about 18 months ago, and I’m so glad I did. For me, this is an occasional luxury that adds richness to my life. There’s part of me that wishes I did it every week. But that very idea also brings to mind a concept I think about often. It’s possible to have too much of a good thing. Part of what makes this little luxury so enjoyable is the anticipation and the scarcity. If I did this every week, it would just become a normal ho-hum thing…..like brushing my teeth or taking a shower.

That’s the tightrope we walk with “good things.” It’s possible to have too much of a good thing. Travel and dining out are other fantastic examples. They also happen to be at the top of my list of fun things to do. Part of what makes them special to me is they aren’t every day. There’s a scarcity in it……oh the anticipation! I look forward to them. I enjoy looking at the menus and online reviews of potential restaurants, just as I enjoy researching upcoming trips. Flights, hotels, sights, and of course restaurants. There’s a simple pleasure in the planning and anticipation.

A while back I met with a client who was spending north of $2,000/per month on dining out. On the surface, this sounds wonderful! So many different experiences and flavors. However, they are quick to note, “we don’t even enjoy doing it anymore. It’s just something we do and it feels kind of empty.” Wow! This is the very definition of having too much of a good thing. My suggestion to them was to majorly cut back on dining out, then be very intentional when going on those experiences. Fast forward a few months, it has been transformational for them. They enjoy it so much more than in the past 4-5 years. There’s something special about it and they get excited for the next one.

Yes, lean into those good things. Whatever they are in your life, they are important. But remember, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. Create scarcity and anticipation….you’ll thank yourself later.

The Fear of the Unknown

I recently had an initial coaching session with a new client. They were excited to get started, but honestly more scared than anything. This is fairly typical and I expect that going in. I used to be surprised by this, especially from families who are obviously (to me) doing well. Here’s what I’ve learned, though. Most people don’t truly know how well they are doing (or not doing). All they know is their situation, and have little else to compare it to. They may feel like a mess behind the walls of their own home, and all they see from everyone else is the tidy curated exterior. This breeds a quiet feeling of failure.

So when we sit around a table and begin to look at their finances head-on, there’s a fear. It’s not a fear of the known, but rather a fear of the unknown. This may be the first time in a while (if ever) they’ve looked this closely at their finances. The fear of the unknown is almost always worse than reality.

One of my favorite parts of these meetings is when the couple shifts from a posture of anxiety and fear to cautious confidence mixed with building optimism. They go from the fear of the unknown to an understanding of reality…..and oftentimes a reality that far exceeds what they thought was possible.

This fear of the unknown is the same reason people don’t go to the doctor, don’t open their mail, don’t apply for that job, and don’t step on the scale. It’s that dang unknown. Just like all these other areas, when we step through our fear of the unknown in our finances, we’re often surprised that our reality is much better than what we’ve been fearing. And once we have awareness, that’s when the real work (and progress) begins.

Even Mrs. Claus Fell For It!

One of my favorite holiday activities is to watch Christmas movies with the kids. We watch all the usual suspects. Home Alone (just the first two, of course), Elf, Christmas Story, Rudolph, Frosty, and of course the Santa Clause series. After watching the three Santa Clause movies (though 2 and 3 are very suspect and I question how they made the permanent rotation), we decided to check out the new Santa Clause series on Disney Plus.

It’s been 28 years since Tim Allen negligently murdered the previous Santa and first put on the oversized pants and jacket. A lot of life has happened in those 28 years. The first episode opens with Santa doing his normal Christmas Eve toy delivery rounds, though it was a less-than-perfect experience. On the heels of his big night, he’s debriefing with Mrs. Claus. It was during this exchange a little piece of me died. We’re at the 14:30 mark in the opening episode:

Santa: *Explaining the bad things he experienced and how it was weird and concerning*

Mrs. Claus: “It happens”

Santa: “It happens!?!? How many Santas do you know? It never happend to me.”

Mrs. Claus: “I’m just saying that you’re 65 and this is when people your age slow down, they start to enjoy their lives, they retire.”

Wait, what!?!? Did Mrs. Claus just say Santa should start “enjoying life” and suggest the way for that to happen is to retire? He’s freaking Santa Claus!!! He has the best career on the planet. He lives in a majestic snow-covered village, aided by an army of elves, eating unlimited quantities of baked goods and perfect hot chocolate, waking up every day to put smiles on millions of children’s faces! And he needs to retire so he can enjoy life? At 65, he has a solid 15-20 years left in him. The best years of his career are still in front of him!

Even Mrs. Claus fell for our culture’s toxic perspective of work. Deep within our culture is narrative that work = bad…..and conversely, not working = good. We work because we have to. A necessary evil of sorts. A means to an end. I don’t think this could be further from the truth.

If done well, and for the right reasons, work should provide so much fulfillment and meaning. Using our passions and gifts to add value to society. Being productive, creating impact, serving others. ALL work can play this role, but for most, it doesn’t. Studies show 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs. This is a modern day tragedy.

Hating our work is a natural outcome if we view our work as a necessary evil and a bridge between our crappy life today and the “slow down and finally enjoy life” tomorrow. What if I told you we can have our cake and eat it, too? We can wake up each day excited for the good work we’re about to do (i.e. enjoying life) and someday when we can no longer work, we enjoy that life as well. Our enjoyment of life isn’t found in a bank account, the possessions we own, the dwelling we live in, or perpetual leisure. It goes so much deeper…..and good work plays a vital role.

Mrs. Claus fell for it, and so too are millions more.

Cost vs. Value

I’ve had $5 meals that were a rip-off and $200 meals that were a bargain. It’s easy to look at those two prices and naturally assume it’s the other way around. After all, $5 isn’t much and $200 is far too much. However, we tend to look at just one side of the coin: cost. When assessing purchases in our lives, we need to look at both cost AND value. The cost matters, but the value is equally important. In order to determine if the cost is worth it, whether $5 or $200, we need to understand the value to us.

Here’s the catch. We all have a different measuring stick and a varying set of interests by which we assess value. Some of you may see $200 tied to the price of a single meal and it makes you want to literally or figuratively vomit. I totally understand that. Through your lens, and your value system, there can’t possibly be enough value derived from a $200 meal to justify it in a million years. On the other hand, many of you know exactly what I’m talking about and you can absolutely see how an amazing $200 meal is worth it.

This starts to lean into the idea of cheap vs. frugal. Cheap is an inability to spend money, whereas frugal is the determination to only spend on things that add more value than they cost. So yes, a $200 meal could still be considered a frugal purchase if the perceived value is high enough.

As I always say about budgeting and spending, “the objective isn’t to spend less, but rather to spend better.” Better is better, and my better is different than your better. The sooner we tune out the noise created by everyone around us and start leaning into our own unique values, the sooner we find contentment and satisfaction in our spending.

What’s something you find valuable for the price but most perceive as a rip-off?

The Curse of Comparison

When I was growing up, the only Christmas I experienced was my own. I knew what it looked like in my home, and my friends theirs. Technology changed the game with the invention of social media. Maybe some of you are in the same camp, but I spent some time scrolling through Facebook and Instagram yesterday. Christmas post after Christmas post. And maybe some of you can also relate to having a multitude of feelings when seeing other people’s Christmas celebrations. Feelings such as:

• “They look happier than us”

• “They have more presents than us”

• Their house is a lot nicer than ours”

• “They have way better food than we’re having”

• “Their trip looks way more fun than being in this frigid weather”

If you had any thoughts such as these, you’re not alone. I’m guessing many of us did. After all, it’s human nature. It’s the curse of comparison, and social media amplifies it unlike anything we’ve ever dealt with before. There are a few major problems with comparison:

1) We only compare ourselves to people who have more or better than we have. We rarely stop to compare ourselves to those who are less fortunate than us……which by the way is the vast majority of the world.

2) There’s always someone with more than us to compare ourselves to. Even Jeff Bezos, the 5th richest person in the world, could compare himself to Elon Musk (2nd richest person in the world) and jealously wish he had that additional $50 billion. No matter how well we have it, we’ll find someone to compare ourselves to. Whether it’s family, a job, a house, status, cars, or presents under the tree, we’ll definitely find someone to unfairly compare ourselves to.

3) Comparison robs us of appreciating what we do have. I have so much in life, but after spending 10 minutes on Facebook this afternoon, I felt like a nothing. It can be demoralizing at times, so it’s important to always take time to reflect on and be grateful for what we do have.

4) Social media is people’s highlight reel. It portrays them at their absolute best, the way they want to be seen, in a moment of time. We don’t know what’s happening in the other 99.9% of their lives. Sadly, many are hurting just like you and me. So when we see their social media post, don’t extrapolate them to believe their lives are perfect and pristine. I promise you they aren’t.

No matter what your Christmas looked like, I hope it was your version of amazing filled with special moments, time with loved ones, and memories that will last a lifetime. Merry Christmas!

Magnifying Meaning

Last night was awesome, filled with many cherished family traditions. Christmas Eve service with my family, including the always anticipated candlelight singing of Silent Night. Dinner at a Chinese restaurant. Snuggling on the couch watching Christmas movies. And last, but not least, a reading of The Night Before Christmas.

Traditions are special to us, but it’s not really about the traditions. It’s about those who we share the traditions with. For me, it’s my wife and kids. My boys are six now, so at this young age, they experience it a little differently each year.

I often talk about the idea of pursuing meaning. People generally nod their heads in agreement at this concept, but their actions oftentimes say otherwise. In their defense, the allure of money is attractive enough to lose sight of meaning. I get it…..I’ve been there! But moments like this, cherished holidays or traditions, are like a magnifying glass on our meaning….or lack thereof. It’s like looking into one of those cosmetic mirrors in hotel bathrooms. We see ourselves in the mirror every day, but it can be startling to see ourselves that close and that clearly. Sometimes we don’t like what we see. Holidays do that to us. They lay bare what we truly value and where we invest in life.

As I was sitting in Christmas Eve service watching my two little guys anchored on each side of me, proudly holding their “grown-up candles” while singing Silent Night, I couldn’t help but get emotional. The meaning was magnified in that moment, and it reminded me exactly why I do the things I do. Not so we can have more, but so we can have better. So I can model each and every day what it looks like to wake up with a heart to serve others and serve our God. In years past, I’m not sure I liked what I saw when the magnifying glass hit me. But the last few years (and this year)? It showed me I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. I hope you felt the same way.

Merry Christmas!

Not Making It About Money

A while back, a client called me with an idea. Well, it was partly an idea and partly wanting me to tell them “no.” There was an opportunity on the table for them, but it felt like a bad financial decision. They were right…..it was a terrible financial decision. There was no possible way to spin this into a “good financial move.” However, by the time our 15-minute conversation concluded, I strongly encouraged them to do it anyway. This shocked them.

Why would a money guy encourage a client to make a bad financial decision!?!? It’s simple: money is NEVER about money. It’s always about something bigger. To me, this decision was the biggest no-brainer on the planet. There were countless upsides to this decision, with money being the only downside.

As the conversation was coming to an end, I encouraged them to pray about it, discuss it some more, and confidently make the best decision for them. They ended up choosing the bad financial decision. I was so proud of them for taking a counter-cultural approach of not letting money drive their decision. Instead of carrying the guilt and pressure of making financial progress, they made a decision that significantly improved their quality of life.

Fast forward several months, I excitedly asked them how they feel about this decision now that it has played out over time. They responded, “that decision has already paid off ten-fold.” Meaning over money. Always meaning over money.

A Story Will Be Told

I once had the privilege of hearing Danny Meyer speak at an event. If that name doesn’t ring a bell, he’s the founder of Shake Shack, as well as many other high-end culinary institutions. I was excited to hear him speak simply because I love food. However, he told a non-food story that captivated me and has made a lasting impact on how I view life and business.

I don’t remember the details, so I’ll paraphrase. There was once a large group dining in a private room at one of his high-end restaurants. All was going well until the waiter accidentally spilled a bottle of red wine on a woman’s $10,000 dress. To call that a simple mistake would be an understatement. They screwed up, big time! This is the part of the story that gripped me:

“The moment a mistake is made, a story WILL be told. But we have the power to influence what story they will tell.”

He goes on to explain the over-the-top reparations his team quickly enacted to make the situation right. They comped a very large dinner bill, they threw in some add-ons, and they even contacted the designer of the woman’s dress to find out how to quickly get her a new one. They went above and beyond. Why? They wanted to do the right thing for the right reasons. Instead of telling a story about incompetence and negligence, the diners tell a story of generosity, service, and humility.

I screw up…..often. Each time I do, I think about Danny Meyer’s talk. Sometimes when I screw up, a story will be told. But I have the power to influence what story will be told. This applies to my business, my ministry, my relationships, and pretty much every area of life. I’m sure people think a lot of different things about me, but if I’m doing my part right, I hope at least generosity, service, and humility get included!