"It Feels Like I'm Living My Dream"

Yesterday was the official launch of our new canned cold brew partnership with The We Will Collective, Iowa State University's NIL collective organization. We started by offering cans in our brick-and-mortar shop, followed by retail availability early next week and direct-to-consumer online sales a few weeks later. As I watched TJ pass out cans to eager Cyclone fans at our soft launch event yesterday morning, I couldn't help but smile. It felt like something big was happening, though none of us could adequately define what that truly means.

Several hours later, I received several missed calls from TJ. I was in a meeting and couldn't answer, but I started getting concerned. I texted him and asked if everything was ok, and if he needed me right away. Turns out, he was just really excited to talk about everything.

A few hours later, I finally had a chance to connect with him. In the first few minutes of the conversation, TJ said something I suspected earlier in the day. "I feel like I'm living my dream." I know this is true. I've felt that way for a while now, but yesterday seemed to cap off a wild 9-month run since opening our doors.

TJ's recipe is simple. Know your calling, grind, fail, learn, grind, fail, learn, continue following the call, grind, fail, learn, and suddenly, you're an overnight success. It's been a 4.5-year journey for him. Nothing about it has been easy. Lesser people (myself included) probably would have given up by now. But not him. His mission was so clear, his why so big, and his patience so great, that nothing was going to defeat his spirit or crush his dream.

Living our dream has a price. We all have different dreams, and the prices to achieve them vary, but there's no free pass. The cost is steep, but the rewards are grand. I suspect TJ already knew this, but having a front-row seat to watch it play out in real-time is special.

Here's my parting thought. I don't think TJ is special. He's just a regular guy, but a regular guy living his dream. If he can do it, so can you, and so can I. If that's true, what's stopping you from going for it?

The Work Goes On

One of my friends recently left his job to do something else. He enjoyed his job and found a ton of fulfillment in it. He served a lot of people and made a significant impact on this world. But he felt a call to do something new in his life. In this new season of his career, he'll serve people differently. He'll use his gifts, passions, relationships, experiences, influence, and resources to find new ways to make an impact.

I'm excited for him! It will be an interesting shift considering he's been at his job for 50 years. Yes, 50 years! That's not a typo. He's been at his job since eight years before I was born!! He just turned 74, and he's excited for the next season of his career.

Many people probably look at him and think, "he should just retire and enjoy his life!" The truth is, he enjoys his life more than most people I know. That's the beauty of work that matters. He's pursued work that matters for a half-century, and he'll do the same for whatever remaining time God gives him.

Sure, he'll probably slow down a bit. After all, 74 isn't quite the same as 34. His hours may be shorter, and the physical intensity may decrease, but the impact will no doubt be just as profound (if not more) than the first 50 years of his career. After all, he enters the next season of his career with more relationships, experience, influence, and resources than he's ever had in his life. The world says he should pack it in and ride off into the sunset, where he can live a life of leisure and spend his life savings on himself. Instead, the work goes on, and his meaning bucket will remain filled to the brim. Faith, family, friends, mission, memories, and work that matters.

He could spend his remaining days golfing, sitting on the porch, or parked in front of the TV.....but he won't. His purpose is too great for that. Instead, he'll continue to do what he's called to do: make an impact.

This is what I call a role model!

Who Are You Going to Offend?

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, the 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays of the year. There are so many things to love about it. However, there's one fringe benefit of the holiday that I look forward to each year. The social media outrage that bubbles up in the days leading up to it, ranting and raving about people setting off their personal fireworks. This sort of outrage has existed in various forms over the years, but it now prominently lives in community Facebook groups. This year's outrage did not disappoint. Multiple times each day, someone took to Facebook to air their grievances. Their justification for their outrage ranged from practical, to questionable, to outlandish. It was nothing short of spectacular!

Reading these threads reminds me of a piece of advice I received many years ago: "You will always offend someone, so you might as well live your values and offend the right people." This advice felt applicable 20 years ago, but it's more relevant today than ever. Unfortunately, everything we do, even when well-intentioned, will offend someone. Whenever I receive online hate - which happens far more than I'd like to stomach - I ask myself if I'm offending the right people. It's so easy for us, in an effort to people please, to offend those we are most trying to serve. When I can objectively look at the criticism and know it's coming from the right people for the right reasons, it somewhat eases the discomfort.

We often hold ourselves back from doing what we know we need to do, in part, because we don't want to offend anyone. I've watched many people around me fall into this trap, and I'm ashamed to admit I have, too. I broke free from this fear a few years ago, but I still find myself holding back on certain topics/ideas out of fear of the backlash. Every time I get over myself and go for it, I inevitably offend someone.....but it's usually the right someone.

When I think about this idea of offending people, I always try to remember there is never ill intent. My objective isn't to offend someone. In fact, I'd love to find a way to do my work without offending people. Unfortunately, that's just not a feasible expectation. There's always someone who will be offended by me....and by you.

The sooner we realize we're always going to offend someone, the sooner we can move past it and make the impact we know we're called to make. So today I ask you, who are you going to offend?

Excuses or Impact

Yesterday, we published episode 227 of the Meaning Over Money Podcast. Just typing that number feels absurd. Based on available data, 90% of podcasts don’t make it past the third episode. Of the ones that do, 90% don’t make it past episode 20. Knowing this, 227 feels wild. According to Listen Notes, we are in the top 3% of podcasts in the world.

Then, there’s our podcast studio. Though the visual representation of our studio looks sharp (thank to Cole’s magic), we’ve never had a great studio. When we first started, it was garbage. We had an old kitchen table from the 1970s, cheap-ish mics, and an environment that was anything but inspiring. Eventually, we got better mics, purchased a better table, painted the background wall, added a video camera, and even added some accent lighting (again, Cole’s magic). Fast forward again, we replaced the accent lighting with a custom-made neon sign and a better video camera. Here’s a little sample of what it looked like, all put together. Pretty crispy!

Our studio was never great, but we continued to put in the work. We aren’t defined by how much money we invested into it, or how nice it is, or what others think of it. Our calling is to produce quality content that adds value to people’s lives. It’s as simple as that. It could be easy for us to use our less-than-ideal studio as an excuse or a crutch, but we don’t play those games. We know who we are, who we serve, and why we serve them.

Next week is our last week in our office/studio. The space no longer fits each of our needs, so we’re going to shift like we always do. We’re still trying to figure it out, but Cole and I will each have our own separate office spaces. My space will have an audio-only recording area, while he will have a video-friendly space in his. Here’s what my space currently looks like:

It’s a beaut, Clark!

Yikes! Exactly what you’d think a high-performing podcast studio would look like, right? It’s not much, but it’s ours. This is the beauty of modern-day technology. Every one of us has the ability, with little to no cost, to put our art into the world. A podcast, YouTube channel, blog, designs, social media content…..literally anything! We can either use our lack of resources as an excuse, or we can simply create and share. You can have excuses or impact, but you can’t have both.

Why Not Both?

I recently found myself in a conversation with a friend when the topic navigated to work and careers. This is one of those friends that we get to be sincerely honest with, and vice versa. In the middle of the chat, he said, “I disagree with your advice to pursue work that matters.” Intrigued by this, I asked him to elaborate. In short, he thinks I put too much emphasis on work. His perspective is that work is work, a necessary evil amongst all the other things that provide us with meaning: family, friends, hobbies, travel, etc. Further, the more money we make in our work, the better life we’ll be able to afford (translation: more money = more meaning = more happiness). We debated this topic for a bit, and agreed our conversation would make for a good blog post……so here we are!

I understand where he’s coming from. I used to believe a version of this as well. As the conversation unfolded, he admitted to a feeling of dread every Sunday afternoon, feeling constant stress (even when he was at home), craving vacations to get away from it all, and dreaming about the day he’ll finally be able to retire and enjoy his life. Yes, he has a ton of meaning in his life. He loves his family deeply, has many close friends, actively serves and engages in his church, and has several fun hobbies. He has meaning. But his work is hurting him. Financially it’s helping him (big-time), but in many other ways, it’s slowly and secretly killing him.

Yes, it’s ok to dislike/hate your job and find a ton of meaning outside of your work. It’s your journey, not mine. I celebrate all forms of meaning and purpose. These are wonderful things. I would never demean any of that. But why can’t we have both? If half our waking hours are spent working, why wouldn’t we want this portion of our life to also have meaning? I’m not advocating for one or the other…..I’m advocating for both. I’m advocating for a life where we’re just as excited to go to work as we are to leave work. A life where we’re just as excited for the weekend to end as we are for it to get here. A life where we’re not in a rush to get to the finish line of our career.

Meaning at home AND meaning at work. Why not both?

Some Seeds Are Hard to Water

When it comes to work, ministry, and life, I often think about the idea of planting seeds. Whatever we’re doing, we have the opportunity, responsibility, and possibility to make an impact in someone’s life. This concept is the basis of my friend Gary Hoag’s book, The Sower. I highly recommend this one, by the way! When we water seeds, we never know how they will turn out. Some will sprout, while others won’t. Some will grow small, and some will grow big. But either way, they don’t sprout right when you water them…..it takes time. All we can do is diligently water, pray, water some more, and wait.

Some seeds are easy and fun to water. For me, that’s my youth group kids, clients, family, podcast listeners, readers, and speaking audiences. Watering those seeds is truly one of the greatest privileges of my life and there are very few things I’d rather do. Like all seeds, I never know which seeds will sprout, or when, but I love the process.

Some seeds, however, are hard to water. Yesterday, I found myself engaged in a brutal online conversation with a stranger. By “conversation”, I mean I got publicly eviscerated by someone and I tried to treat them with love. Yet, as I did, they continued to eviscerate me. I shared some of this conversation with my Facebook friends, partly as a way to set an example for handling our online presence with civility and dignity, and partly to hold myself accountable for handling my online presence with civility and dignity. After sharing this, I was flooded with thoughts and feedback from friends. I want to share a portion of one with you. This is from my friend, Laura H., and it moved me deeply.

“Years ago, when I was still in active addiction, I was like this person. I was so miserable with my life and was living in the victim mentality; basically feeling as if the "happy" and "got it all together" people of the world were mocking me with their encouraging posts or lessons on how to be better. In my mind I was a lost cause and "you people" needed to see that. The reason I tell you this is that, even though my comments spewed hate and insults, I was still watching. I read/listened to that person's stuff for a reason. A seed was planted and how that person responded to me decided if that seed would be watered and grow. I know that sounds like putting a big responsibility on someone, but in all actuality, it's the same responsibility that God puts on them to be disciples and share His Word and His Love. Getting back a response that validated my feelings always gave me a twinge of hope in the midst of my darkness. And I wouldn't comment anything else, but I would watch them. And I'd see them continue to be that genuine person to everyone else they interacted with. That also watered that seed. We never know what someone is dealing with and a compassionate response, even when you're angry or hurt, can make more of an impact than you even know. In all seriousness, it could save someone's life; that small twinge of hope is so powerful.”

Thank you so much, Laura! I’m grateful for your wisdom and your friendship. I needed to hear this, and many others do, too. Some seeds are hard to water….but it’s worth it.

"I Get To Go to Work"

Years ago, a friend shared with me his dream of someday transitioning into a different career. This thing was his passion. Over the years, he was working jobs he didn’t necessarily love, but they paid the bills. Simultaneously, he worked on his craft as a side hustle and eventually returned to school (part-time while he worked full-time) to pursue his dream career.

Fast forward, he made it! He recently started a job in the field he dreamt about all those years back. When I asked him how it was going so far, his wife quickly chimed in. She shared how he randomly exclaimed one day, “I get to go to work!!!” He didn’t have to go to work…..he was blessed with the opportunity to do his work. It wasn’t an obligation….it was a privilege. He didn’t dread it…..he looked forward to it.

He just unlocked a whole new level of meaning in his life. It wasn’t an accident. He didn’t stumble into it. It was an intentional choice, that required a lot of work and sacrifice, with very real consequences. He made a decision very few would have. He could have taken a simpler, easier, more predictable path. Instead, he chose meaning. Many in today’s culture would have told him to make as much money as he can, and hoard as much of it as possible, so he can retire sooner rather than later (you know, so he can finally enjoy his life). Instead, he chooses to live with joy, today. He’s not working now so he can enjoy life someday. He’s choosing to enjoy life…..period.

I couldn’t be more excited for them, and I’m grateful for the example he’s living by. I hope others see how he’s living and ultimately decide to take a similar path. The path of meaning, purpose, impact, and joy.

Imposter Syndrome and the Death of Dreams

Imposter Syndrome: “when one believes that they are undeserving of their achievements and the high esteem in which they are, in fact, generally held. They feel that they aren’t as competent or intelligent as others might think—and that soon enough, people will discover the truth about them.”

As I opened my e-mail a few weeks ago, I was met with a congratulatory e-mail communicating my selection to be a speaker at a large conference. There must be some mistake! I’m not that guy. Nobody at this conference has any interest in what I have to say. They are literally going to stand up, turn around, and walk out of the auditorium. How did I con them into letting me onto their stage? They are going to regret this decision. Who do I think I am having the audacity to even pitch an event like this!?!?

Yeah, I was having a moment. To be honest, though, I have lots of these moments. Imposter syndrome can be brutal. Every day I hit “publish” on this blog, I have imposter syndrome. Every time I fire up the mic to record a podcast episode, I have imposter syndrome. Every time I sit down with a client, I have imposter syndrome.

I have great news: there is a cure…..kinda. Every time I start hearing these thoughts in my head, I temporarily set them aside, step into the work that needs to be done, and let the results speak for themselves. The first several times, that’s nearly impossible. But after a few repetitions, I realize I’m not as bad as I told myself I was. Then after a few more repetitions, I realize I’m better than I previously was. Then fast forward a lot more repetitions, I see the truth. The self-talk of imposter syndrome never fully goes away, but we learn to recognize it for what it is. A lie. An ugly lie, created by us, which we use against ourselves.

I don’t write about this topic to garner your pity. I’m writing about it because I suspect (er, I know 100%) many of you face imposter syndrome on a daily basis as well. And some of you are believing the lie. Some of you are letting this disgusting self-talk prevent you from doing the thing you know you were meant to do. As you begin your day, I want you to know it’s a lie. You can do this. Temporarily set it aside, step into the work, and let the results speak for themselves. You got this!

Does Your Work Matter?

Does your work matter? I’m not going to define what that means for you, but I can tell you it does NOT mean simply getting paid. Getting paid doesn’t mean your work doesn’t matter. I know people who make little who’s work doesn’t matter to them and I know people who make a lot who’s work matters very much to them….and vice versa. It’s not really about the money. With that, I’ll ask again: Does your work matter?

Over the last few days, I’ve met with countless people in Thailand who are aggressively pursuing work that matters. It’s often not fun work, and rarely is it easy work. But wow, their work matters! They feel a unique and powerful call for their current and/or upcoming work. This work can be counter-cultural, volatile, and anything but secure. They share stories of pain, suffering, and exhaustion. But when you ask them how they feel about it, their eyes light up. There’s a passion behind those eyes that’s difficult to put into words.

It’s humbling, honestly. When I hear about their work, it can quickly make me feel less than about my own work. They are heroes to me, while I’m just some dude over here in America talking about money. However, I also realize I’m doing the exact work I’m called to do……and it’s not my job to compare myself to them. We each have our own skills, passions, relationships, and influence. It’s our job to put them to the best use. If they do their work that matters, I do my work that matters, and you do your work that matters, together we will make this world a better place. Have an awesome day!

You Can Always Go Back

I was days away from making one of the biggest decisions of my life. I was 99% sure I was about to resign from my career, make a complete 180-degree shift, and take a 90% pay cut to do something unconventional. To be honest, I was scared out of my mind. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, and my mind was continually racing. Then, I found myself sitting face-to-face with a trusted friend. Yeah, he too thought I was absolutely out of my mind. He told me as such, elaborated on why I was, then reaffirmed his opinion that I was, in fact, insane. But then, he added, “So what if you fail? You could always go back.”

Wow. I hadn’t thought of it like that before. In my mind, I was slamming a door in life, nailing it shut, then covering it with concrete. It’s as though I was forever locking my path in a new direction, for better or for worse. The reality is, I wasn’t. He was right! What’s the worst that could have happened? If push came to shove, and I fell flat on my face, I could always go back to my old career (or something resembling it).

While the idea of utter embarrassing failure didn’t necessarily give me a warm and fuzzy feeling, it did help put the entire situation in perspective. If my idea works, our family’s dream comes true. If I fall flat on my face, I eat a slice of humble pie and we move on to something else. The cost/benefit seemed obvious, though still scary.

3.5 years later, I’m living in both worlds. Our family is living our dream life…..and I’m eating little slices of humble pie along the way. It’s way harder than I could have ever imagined it being, but far more worth it than I could have ever imagined.

I’m not advocating everyone leave their career and take a huge pay cut to do something completely different. That just happens to be my story and I’m the one writing this. But you have yours. There’s something in your life you’re scared to do. You know what it is. Just a reminder: You can always go back.

If You Won the Lottery

What would you do if you won the lottery tomorrow? Would you stay at your current job? Would you immediately quit? Would you try something different? Would you take a different job in the same industry? Would you shift to an entirely different industry? Think about your answer before moving on to the next paragraph………

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Ok, I’m back. If your answer was anything other than “keep doing what I’m doing now”, why? What is it about receiving a bunch of money that propels us from the work we’re doing today to the work we dream of doing someday? I think the answer is generally pretty simple: security and comfort. When we feel secure and have comfort, we’re more inclined to go do the thing we’re meant to do.

If that’s true, can we also say we’re willingly throwing away our dreams and unique calling by consciously (or subconsciously) pursuing security and comfort? If you know exactly what you’d do if you won the lottery, and it’s different than what you’re doing now, does it mean you’ve placed security and comfort over a more meaningful life?

It’s an interesting question to ponder. Hope you have a wonderful day!

Here's to the Next 49 Years

As I was scrolling through Facebook yesterday, I received a notification about memories “on this day.” These memories are usually populated by pictures of my kids, looking cute……or videos of my kids, doing something that will surely draw blood. Yesterday’s was different. It was the picture of 801 Grand, the signature building in the Des Moines skyline. It was a picture I took, exactly one year ago, as I walked out of that building for the very last time after a pretty amazing 15-year career. I remember that moment like it was yesterday. So many emotions running through my mind. I had just said my very last goodbye. It was Kristin, a very dear friend who I’d worked closely with for the better part of a decade. As I said that goodbye, I nearly lost it. It took every ounce of me to get into that elevator and make it out of the building in once piece. I spent the next 3 days in an absolute daze. It felt disorienting, scary, nostalgic, and exciting……and maybe a little bit of oh-crap-what-did-I-just-do. Wow, one year flew by fast!!!

These last 365 days have been wild, not to mention the COVID-19 quarantine life that’s shaken up everything we consider normal. As I reflect on this last year of entrepreneurship, I thought it would be worthwhile to jot down some of the lessons I’ve learned through the journey. And if I wasn’t self-conscious enough about my shortcomings, I’ll just go ahead and broadcast them to the world! So here we go:

• The minute we think we have everything figured out is the moment we’ve lost the game. Life changes so fast, and the world of business ownership simply magnifies that. By the time I hit the one-year mark in my career journey, I thought I would be engaging in speaking engagements on a weekly basis. Instead, I haven’t spent time in a group larger than ten in two-and-a-half months and I suddenly find myself pulling all-nighters in front of a camera recording our new financial video course for young adults (www.meaningover.money). Didn’t see that one coming!

• It’s so easy to undervalue our own work. Call it imposter syndrome, call it lack of confidence, call it whatever you want. We simply do a terrible job adequately valuing ourselves when we’re forced to put a price on our work. I was sitting around the table with a group of peers and I made a random comment about the value of my work being worth way more than I charge. A woman interrupted me and asked “how much is your work worth, then?” I said “probably double”…….to which she responded “then you should be charging double!” I laughed off this feedback, but the group continued to badger me about it. Fast forward 24 hours, I was meeting with a potential client and I quoted them a price that was nearly double what I had been previously charging. They called it “a bargain”. Wow, talk about eating a slice of humble pie! Today, my coaching rates are nearly triple what some of my earliest clients paid. I wish I would have learned this lesson earlier, but some of those earlier clients are pretty glad I didn’t!

• Speaking of people badgering me, here’s the next lesson I learned: I can’t do it alone! Business ownership, especially as a solopreneur, can be super lonely. Here’s the good news…..nobody said we have to do it alone! Luckily I had the self-awareness early on to know there’s no way I could do this by myself. So I found awesome people and surrounded myself with them. I hired my good friend Ryan to help me with creative and design elements…….things I hate doing, and frankly suck at. I hired an accountant to help me navigate bookkeeping and taxes. I hired a business coach (BizLab) who could help me unlock my potential in ways I never knew were possible. That was a game-changer! Last but not least, I rented co-work office space at Blue Bean where I was able to find a community of bright, driven, encouraging peers. These people have changed my life! They started as acquaintances, which turned into collaborators, which morphed into family. These people make me better and I’m so grateful to have a work family…..even if their work is totally different than my work. We don’t have to do it alone, and I’m grateful for that!

• Entrepreneurship is exciting…..and scary! Will we have enough money to pay the bills this month? Will people really trust me? With a million different options, which path should I focus on? Should I stick with coaching, maybe lean into speaking, or finally start that podcast, maybe write something that exposes the core of me, or accept a crazy, or accept an out-of-the-blue offer to create a bangin’ video course from a young, hungry filmmaker? We live in a culture, in a time, where there are no boundaries and no limits. Wow, that’s exciting…..and scary! I wake up every day excited to find out what life will throw at me!

• Speaking of scary, here’s my last lesson: financial insecurity while following your dreams is 100,000% better than living with financial security doing something that doesn’t inspire you. The difference between like and love isn’t incremental. It’s the difference between climbing a flight of stairs and climbing Everest. Comfort is overrated. I deeply desire to be uncomfortable, and this season has given me a triple helping of discomfort. But I can say with absolute certainty that I’d never in a million years exchange this life for financial security. My gut told me this was true, but the last 365 days has proven it over, and over, and over. When we create impact on others, pursue work that matters, and redefine the role money plays in our life, it unlocks a truly meaningful life. And once you taste it, nothing can ever again satisfy that thirst.

As I was contemplating my career change just over a year ago, I made a comment to a trusted friend: “I only have 50 good working years left in me.” He thought it was a joke, but it wasn’t. I truly believe if we’re doing exactly what we’re supposed to do, there’s nothing that can stop us from wanting to do it, including some arbitrary retirement age placed upon us by society. I love spending time with my family, and doing cool hobbies, and traveling, and watching sports, and eating amazing food, and experiencing all the amazing culture this planet has to offer……but I also love my work! If that’s true, then a life without life-giving, passion-filled work would likely feel empty. So as I look back and celebrate this last year, I’m grateful, humbled, and inspired by everything that’s happened……..here’s to the next 49 years!

The Choice

I didn’t set out to plagiarize my close friend and mentor Dr. Gary Hoag’s amazing book, The Choice, when I started writing this post……but here we are. Sorry, Gary! Rather, I was contemplating a text I received from a friend this morning. After some back-and-forth regarding a few of my recent blog posts, I asked him a question: “Which topics/components do you think resonate with people?” He responded with “There’s a desire to make a difference, but a feeling that you have to either get paid to work for the man, or make a difference and be a struggling artist type.”

As I’m sitting in my office pondering these words, I look down and spot my copy of Gary’s book sitting before me (see, Gary, I am reading your stuff!!!). Two simple words in big, bold white letters, “The Choice”, scream right off the cover of the book and into my periphery. We make choices every day. We choose what to wear, what to eat, who to spend our time with, what podcasts to listen to, and what NBA superstar jersey we’re going to buy our toddlers next (just me?). But there seems to be this HUGE choice that lingers over all of us, every single day. The choice of what to do with the majority of our waking hours. The choice of how we are going to use our talents and passions to make an impact. The choice of where our life’s energy will go. Such a huge choice!

As I’m considering my buddy’s words about this choice, I thought back to a very intense conversation I had with Gary over FaceTime last year. I was teetering back-and-forth on the idea of leaving my awesome career to do something totally crazy. It was one of those days where the self-talk was thick. “What are you doing!?!” “You’re going to fail!” “Don’t be irresponsible, you can never make a living doing what you want to do.” Every insult possible was hurled my way…..by my own mean self. I did what I always do when the self-talk ramps up……I engage a trusted mentor. This was one of those I-remember-exactly-where-I-was-when-it-happened kind of moments. I distinctly remember shouting at Gary - in my doubt and frustration - “Yeah, but what I’m thinking about doing hasn’t even been legitimized. There’s no proof this will actually work.” Gary smiled and responded (too) calmly, “Only God gets to decide what’s legitimate.” Thus I started chewing on the slice of humble pie Gary was serving up, piping hot!

One of Gary and I’s many Asian adventures!!

Fast forward several months, I left my career, took a 90% pay cut, and set out to build a new career. Nine months later, I’m able to support my family financially, the business is growing, and I’m already dreaming about what’s next. I often think back to that conversation with Gary and his virtual slap in the face. He was right! Had I not listened to him, and instead listened to my self-talk and the culture around us, I would have made a different choice. I would have chosen “normal”, safe, predictable, and comfortable. Instead, I chose uncertainty, impact, trust, and purpose.

Here’s an interesting thing about this choice, specifically the two options laid out by my friend. We don’t actually have to choose between “getting paid” and “making a difference.” Though I took a 90% pay cut, there’s a legit chance I eventually get to the point where I make as much (or more) in my new career than I did in my old career. If I’m pouring out my passion, using my gifts, serving people well, making an impact, and truly setting out to make the difference I know God is asking me to make, there’s no reason the income can’t follow. That doesn’t drive my decisions and ultimately I don’t really care, but that’s a reality we often don’t think about. It’s not an either/or type of choice. Rather, it’s an “I trust God” or “I don’t trust God” type of choice…….and an “I value money” or “I value meaning” type of choice. Whether we realize it or not, we make these choices every day, as not making a choice is still making a choice.

If I were still at my old job, this week I would have received a pretty sizable bonus. Out of respect for my former employer I won’t disclose what it would be…….but it’s a LOT! A former co-worker asked me a few days ago if this “lost bonus” gives me any regrets. Honestly, no. That money would be nice and could do a lot of cool things, but today my life is awesome and I get to dedicate each and every day to doing cool things. It’s honestly an unfair exchange, in my favor. Giving up a large chunk of money to violently pursue what I know to be God’s calling in my life. Knowing what I know today, in hindsight, it was the easiest decision I ever made.

So as I try to land this plane, here are my top three takeaways about this choice:

• Every day is a new opportunity to make a choice.

• Not making a choice is still making a choice.

• Find a few amazing mentors in life that will build you up, be real with you, encourage you when you need it most, and help you make better choices. We can’t do it alone…..and luckily we don’t have to!

What choice will you make?

Unlocking a Life of Meaning

As a financial coach, I love helping people with money…….but probably not for the reasons you’re expecting. I honestly don’t care that much about money. In fact, I find it somewhat boring. The catch: money is never about money! Money is just paper and coins which can be traded for things and experiences. Through the lens of life, however, it’s much, much more. Every financial decision we make – whether it be the purchase of a home or a trip through your favorite fast-food drive-thru – there’s so much more going on. Excitement, nervousness, guilt, pride, fear, lust, joy, jealousy, contentment, love, resentment, just to name a few.

Whenever I’m coaching, teaching, or speaking, it’s never really about money. It’s about so much more. After meeting with hundreds of families over the years, I’ve concluded there are really three things we need to do in order to have a healthy relationship in the area of life we call “personal finance.” To unlock a life of meaning, we need to create impact on others, pursue work that matters, and redefine the role of money.

Creating Impact on Others

If you spend any time reading, watching, or listening to the countless personal finance gurus, you’re going to hear a lot about me, me, me, and (surprise) me. Truth be told, always looking out for me, myself, and I is an empty and sad endeavor. If all we’re trying to do is better our own family’s life, we miss out on something far greater.

One has not truly lived (or loved) until he/she has made an impact on someone else. Not necessarily change the world, but to change someone’s world. One gesture, one gift, one word........that’s all it takes to possibly change the trajectory of someone’s life forever. For many of these mini-miracles (as I’ve been calling them since just now), we may never know the impact we make. But sometimes, when we’re really fortunate, we learn about how something seemingly small has turned into something so very big. To me, this is the absolute best gift from God. Once you experience this, you realize there’s no other way to live life. Creating impact is no longer something we do……it’s who we are. That, my friends, can unlock a meaningful life!

“Creating impact is no longer something we do……it’s who we are.”

Pursuing Work That Matters

We live in a culture that prides itself in celebrating Fridays, dreading Mondays, spending money on things to mask the stress and frustration we feel towards our work, and the pursuit of an earlier-the-better retirement. What if we have it all wrong?

In my various money-related interactions with people, I often ask the following questions: “When do you want to retire? What do you want to do in retirement?” 80% of the time the answer to the first question is “as soon as possible.” 50% of the time the answer to the second question is “I still want to work, but I want to do something I enjoy.” If you spend half your waking hours at work, and if you want to quit working as soon as you can, is it possible to be living a life of meaning? Probably……but not likely. If you answer the second question with “I still want to work, but I want to do something I enjoy”, doesn’t that insinuate you’re spending half your waking hours doing something you don’t enjoy?

The pursuit of work that matters is intimidating. Change is hard and change is scary! It certainly don’t make it easier when the world says “be grateful for the job you have”, or “you need to take care of your family….you can’t take that risk”, or “your job isn’t that bad….it could be worse.” Those words echo in our soul and they can cut deep. Here’s the complicating factor: work that matters to us is a deeply personal question. What’s right for one person may be totally wrong for another. All work is meaningful work, but not all work is meaningful to you or to me.

It’s tough to live a life of meaning when you feel lukewarm-at-best about your job, regardless of how awesome the other areas of your life are. However, when we do get this right (better late than never!), it gives our life meaning in a way we’ve never experienced before.

“It’s tough to live a life of meaning when you feel lukewarm-at-best about your job, regardless of how awesome the other areas of your life are.”

Redefining the Role of Money

The third facet to living a life of meaning is redefining the role of money. Note I didn’t say “more” money……but rather redefining the role money plays in our life. We need to shift the role money plays in our life from being a measuring stick of success to a tool we can use to impact others and live more intentionally.

Our culture tells us – in countless ways – money equals happiness. And if some money will make us happy, then a lot of money will make us really happy. Thus begins the cycle. So many of us say to ourselves “once I get promoted and make $___, I’ll be happier.” Once that amount of income is attained, happiness doesn’t come. So we say to ourselves “I was wrong. The amount is actually $___ (i.e. more than I thought last time). Once I make that amount, then I’ll be happy.” Once that amount of income is attained, we still aren’t happy…..and the cycle continues.

Here’s the secret. God tells us this. Behavioral scientists tell us this. Our miserable friends, family, and coworkers (unknowingly) tell us this. No amount of money can make us happy! No level of income, no sum in your bank account. It’s not to say money is bad….because it’s not. We can do a lot of fun, generous, and memorable things with money……but we can’t buy happiness. The moment we think money is going to make us happy is the moment we’ve lost.

What’s the alternative? If we truly understand money can’t make us happy, it changes the decisions we make in life. It allows us to freely use our money to impact others. It changes the way we make career decisions, thereby freeing us to pursue work that matters. It allows us to spend intentionally on the things that add value to our life rather than what the culture (and our friends/family) tell us we should be spending on to create so-called happiness. Understanding this very simple and profound concept changes everything. Once it does, we can begin to have a healthy relationship with money. Instead of wanting more, more, and more, we start to want less. Not wanting to have less, but to simply “want” less. This changes our heart and opens up so much meaning in our life.

“We need to shift the role money plays in our life from being a measuring stick of success to a tool we can use to impact others and live more intentionally.”

Creating impact on others. Pursuing work that matters. Redefining the role of money. I firmly believe if we can achieve these three things, our lives will be bursting with meaning. That is my dream for myself, my dream for my children, my dream for my clients, and my dream for you.

Someday

Photo by Nicholas Barbaros on Unsplash

When working with coaching clients, I usually ask two questions pretty early in the relationship. 1) “When do you want to retire?”, and 2) “What do you want retirement to look like?” On the first question, 90% respond with a variation of “as soon as I can….that’s why we’re hiring you.” For the second question regarding what they want retirement to look like, there are three answers I most often hear. Some say they want to travel, some say they want to relax, and MANY say they want to continue working, but do “something I enjoy.”

I totally get the travel and relax answers, though I have a totally different opinion on the topic. As it pertains to that third answer, I have a dumb question. Why would we spend the next 10-20 years working at a job we can’t wait to leave (reminder, 90% say they want to retire ASAP) so we can later go work at a job we enjoy? Let’s think about that for a moment……..

Ok, I’m back. We’re going to live a life where we celebrate Friday, dread Monday, painfully gut through the majority of our waking hours, go spend money on things to mask the discontentment, and repeat that process again for the next 500-1,000 weeks? That’s insanity, but we’ve been wired to think that’s just how the world should work. Instead, why aren’t we aggressively pursuing that “something I enjoy” career today rather than waiting 10-20 more years?

Six months ago, I had an amazing career. I was doing something I had always dreamed of. It was an awesome 15 years of relationships, experiences, and growth. But God gave me a new dream, and a new vision. I’ve had pieces of this dream in the back of my mind for many years. I would tell people about how “someday” I was going to do something about it. When? “Once I retire from this career……maybe at 50, or 55, or 60.” See, I did it too!!

Life is so short. We only have one shot at this life. You’re only going to be 35-years-old once….and 40…..and 45……and so on. We can’t go back, we can’t get a do-over. If you only get to live this life once, what are you doing wasting it on something that doesn’t fill you, simply waiting for it to end?

“If you only get to live this life once, what are you doing wasting it on something that doesn’t fill you?”

Is it a money thing? I get it. That’s scary! Money always seems to have a grip on us. We are told money is so important, it’s a measuring stick for success, it buys things that makes us happy. Why do we think the money matters so much? Behavioral scientists have been proving for years money doesn’t make us happy. What’s one of the primary drivers of happiness, according to the science? Work that matters! I could have let money stop me……..spoiler, it almost did. But I finally got over my own pride and my own materialism to do what I knew deep in my heart was right. My family voluntarily chose a 90% income decrease (90%!!!) for me to step into this new career. Two things came from that.

First, we are happier today than we’ve ever been in our lives. We live each and every day with meaning and joy. I worked a 14-hour day last week and I was upset with myself that I couldn’t work more. Every day is an adventure, and I actually celebrate Mondays. When I wake up each morning, I can’t wait to get my day started so I can create, contribute, and use whatever opportunities God gives me to serve others. It is a profound feeling I so badly wish others could experience.

Second, knowing how much fire and energy I have towards my work, I wouldn’t be surprised to wake up one day to find that my income is comparable to the one I left behind. Who am I to judge God’s blessings and the value of my own work? I don’t know how that will play out over time, but I now know it was foolish of me to mentally condemn myself to a low income from here on out.

If it’s not money for you, is it the fact you’d be “throwing away” your career? Believe me, I had those thoughts, too. It took me 12 years to get the position I had always dreamed of…..only to leave that position three years later. One could argue I “threw it away”, but I don’t look at it that way. I got so much out of it. That career prepared me for the next step in my journey. Back in January, on a long-haul flight to Asia, I told my wife Sarah I was going to write. See, I’ve wanted to be a writer my entire life. But here I was, 37-years-old, and I hadn’t written anything my entire adult life. I told her it would probably be a train wreck, but I was going to give it the ol’ college try. So I started writing, and the words flew off my computer keys. It felt so natural……I was really confused. How did writing feel so natural when I hadn’t written for nearly 15 years? Then it hit me: I write all the time! In the 15 years I’ve spent working in commercial real estate, my job was to communicate. I wrote every single day. It just looked different. I spent 15 years writing to my clients, to my colleagues, and to our investment committees, which absolutely prepared me for the next step in my journey. Nothing worthwhile is ever thrown away. Every experience, every struggle, and every skill I acquired in my 15-year real estate investing career is meaningful to me as I step into this new chapter. I’m so grateful for those 15 years and everything that came with it.

So back to my original question. If you’re saying to yourself “someday, I’m going to do _____”, why not now? I’m not saying I have everything figured out – far from it – but I can tell you I’m so grateful I decided to do at 38 what I always told myself I would do at 50, or 55, or 60. Life is too short for regret! When will you step into your someday?

“Life is too short for regret! When will you step into your someday?”

What I learned From Jiro

I had it on my watchlist for more than 8 years, but I finally watched the Netflix Documentary Jiro Dreams of Sushi. This film was a fascinating look into the best sushi chef in the world. When the film was shot in 2011, Jiro was 85 years old. The film chronicles his journey and attempts to explain why he has been set apart from his peers. It still boggles my mind how one man and one restaurant can create so much distance between themselves and the competition when all the other chefs have access to the same fish and the same rice. Simple ingredients, complex results. Having been awarded three Michelin stars, there is no argument about his greatness. In the opening minutes of the movie, he has a few insights that are worth sharing. “Once you have decided your occupation, you must immerse yourself in your work. You have to fall in love with your work. Never complain about your job. You must dedicate your life to mastering your skill. That is the secret of success and is the key to being regarded honorably.”

The film makes it very clear Jiro wasn’t a perfect person, or a perfect father, or a perfect husband. However, Jiro did manage to achieve something many of us have not. He found his dream, he pursued it aggressively, and he lived it out. At 85 years of age, he proclaimed he had no intention of retiring. I love this about him. Work wasn’t a means to an end. Rather, work was the means AND the end. Not just any work, but work that matters. Work was a place where Jiro could live out his passion, release his creativity, and make a difference in people’s lives. He wasn’t saving the world, but it is clear he was adding value to the world. People from all over the globe were flying to his tiny restaurant simply to taste his creations. Regardless of whether or not you view this as a noble endeavor, Jiro lived his dream, used his gifts, and created happiness in the lives of others. When I’m 85-years-old, I too hope I wake up every day and get the opportunity to do work that matters, serve others well, and loudly proclaim I have no intention of retiring.

I hope you similarly find your passion and pursue it with reckless abandon!

““Once you have decided your occupation, you must immerse yourself in your work. You have to fall in love with your work. Never complain about your job. You must dedicate your life to mastering your skill. That is the secret of success and is the key to being regarded honorably.””

— Jiro

New Beginnings

For nearly two decades I’ve wanted to run a website and publish my writing. I’m not sure what has stopped me in the past. Perhaps it was the busy of life, or not having anything to say, or believing nobody cared what I had to say, or maybe because I was simply lazy or scared. As the saying goes, the best time to start was 20 years ago…..and the second-best time to start is now!

This website is one of the many new beginnings my family has experienced in this season of life. About three months ago, I stepped away from an amazing career in institutional commercial real estate investing. It was a dream job, it paid well, it was fun, and it allowed me to see the world. But God gave me a new dream. Today, I wake up each and every day with a burning desire to help people win with money. Not so they can become wealthy and swim around in their pools of money like Scrooge McDuck, but rather so they can live out the life God has called them to live. For some it means changing careers to joyfully use their gifts and passions for a purpose, for others it means staying home with their babies, for some it means to open up the floodgates of generosity, and for many it simply means to ease the tension money and finances have put on their day-to-day life.

I’ve found a few ways to serve others with these gifts. The first is through offering professional financial coaching for families looking to improve their financial life. Some people are doing ok and looking to do good, while others are doing good and looking to do great. These are people with purpose, with passion, and with the dedication to create real change so they can live the life God has called them to live. Each and every one of them are heroes in my book! This professional part of my life will also involve speaking, workshops, podcasting, and writing.

I’ve also been blessed with an opportunity to serve my local church – The Ridge in Ankeny, IA (suburban Des Moines) – by launching a formal financial ministry. In this ministry, we hope to raise up a team of leaders who can help people honor God with their finances. Through teaching, speaking, coaching, and workshops, we want to serve the people of our church with love, compassion, and truth. Check out this link to learn more about what we’re doing at The Ridge.

This brings us here, to this blog. Every time I push something into the world, whether it be on FB, IG, or Twitter, I ask myself one simple question: “why am I doing this?” If the answer is anything but “to entertain”, “to educate”, or “to inspire”, I simply hit delete and move on with my life. I want to add value in all that I do, and never want it to become about me. So with this blog, I hope to entertain, educate, and inspire those who desire to live a better life. A life with purpose. A life they will one day look back on and be proud of. If you are one of those people, I hope you find value in this blog and continue to read, engage, and share.

Thanks, and here’s to new beginnings!