Unlocking a Life of Meaning

As a financial coach, I love helping people with money…….but probably not for the reasons you’re expecting. I honestly don’t care that much about money. In fact, I find it somewhat boring. The catch: money is never about money! Money is just paper and coins which can be traded for things and experiences. Through the lens of life, however, it’s much, much more. Every financial decision we make – whether it be the purchase of a home or a trip through your favorite fast-food drive-thru – there’s so much more going on. Excitement, nervousness, guilt, pride, fear, lust, joy, jealousy, contentment, love, resentment, just to name a few.

Whenever I’m coaching, teaching, or speaking, it’s never really about money. It’s about so much more. After meeting with hundreds of families over the years, I’ve concluded there are really three things we need to do in order to have a healthy relationship in the area of life we call “personal finance.” To unlock a life of meaning, we need to create impact on others, pursue work that matters, and redefine the role of money.

Creating Impact on Others

If you spend any time reading, watching, or listening to the countless personal finance gurus, you’re going to hear a lot about me, me, me, and (surprise) me. Truth be told, always looking out for me, myself, and I is an empty and sad endeavor. If all we’re trying to do is better our own family’s life, we miss out on something far greater.

One has not truly lived (or loved) until he/she has made an impact on someone else. Not necessarily change the world, but to change someone’s world. One gesture, one gift, one word........that’s all it takes to possibly change the trajectory of someone’s life forever. For many of these mini-miracles (as I’ve been calling them since just now), we may never know the impact we make. But sometimes, when we’re really fortunate, we learn about how something seemingly small has turned into something so very big. To me, this is the absolute best gift from God. Once you experience this, you realize there’s no other way to live life. Creating impact is no longer something we do……it’s who we are. That, my friends, can unlock a meaningful life!

“Creating impact is no longer something we do……it’s who we are.”

Pursuing Work That Matters

We live in a culture that prides itself in celebrating Fridays, dreading Mondays, spending money on things to mask the stress and frustration we feel towards our work, and the pursuit of an earlier-the-better retirement. What if we have it all wrong?

In my various money-related interactions with people, I often ask the following questions: “When do you want to retire? What do you want to do in retirement?” 80% of the time the answer to the first question is “as soon as possible.” 50% of the time the answer to the second question is “I still want to work, but I want to do something I enjoy.” If you spend half your waking hours at work, and if you want to quit working as soon as you can, is it possible to be living a life of meaning? Probably……but not likely. If you answer the second question with “I still want to work, but I want to do something I enjoy”, doesn’t that insinuate you’re spending half your waking hours doing something you don’t enjoy?

The pursuit of work that matters is intimidating. Change is hard and change is scary! It certainly don’t make it easier when the world says “be grateful for the job you have”, or “you need to take care of your family….you can’t take that risk”, or “your job isn’t that bad….it could be worse.” Those words echo in our soul and they can cut deep. Here’s the complicating factor: work that matters to us is a deeply personal question. What’s right for one person may be totally wrong for another. All work is meaningful work, but not all work is meaningful to you or to me.

It’s tough to live a life of meaning when you feel lukewarm-at-best about your job, regardless of how awesome the other areas of your life are. However, when we do get this right (better late than never!), it gives our life meaning in a way we’ve never experienced before.

“It’s tough to live a life of meaning when you feel lukewarm-at-best about your job, regardless of how awesome the other areas of your life are.”

Redefining the Role of Money

The third facet to living a life of meaning is redefining the role of money. Note I didn’t say “more” money……but rather redefining the role money plays in our life. We need to shift the role money plays in our life from being a measuring stick of success to a tool we can use to impact others and live more intentionally.

Our culture tells us – in countless ways – money equals happiness. And if some money will make us happy, then a lot of money will make us really happy. Thus begins the cycle. So many of us say to ourselves “once I get promoted and make $___, I’ll be happier.” Once that amount of income is attained, happiness doesn’t come. So we say to ourselves “I was wrong. The amount is actually $___ (i.e. more than I thought last time). Once I make that amount, then I’ll be happy.” Once that amount of income is attained, we still aren’t happy…..and the cycle continues.

Here’s the secret. God tells us this. Behavioral scientists tell us this. Our miserable friends, family, and coworkers (unknowingly) tell us this. No amount of money can make us happy! No level of income, no sum in your bank account. It’s not to say money is bad….because it’s not. We can do a lot of fun, generous, and memorable things with money……but we can’t buy happiness. The moment we think money is going to make us happy is the moment we’ve lost.

What’s the alternative? If we truly understand money can’t make us happy, it changes the decisions we make in life. It allows us to freely use our money to impact others. It changes the way we make career decisions, thereby freeing us to pursue work that matters. It allows us to spend intentionally on the things that add value to our life rather than what the culture (and our friends/family) tell us we should be spending on to create so-called happiness. Understanding this very simple and profound concept changes everything. Once it does, we can begin to have a healthy relationship with money. Instead of wanting more, more, and more, we start to want less. Not wanting to have less, but to simply “want” less. This changes our heart and opens up so much meaning in our life.

“We need to shift the role money plays in our life from being a measuring stick of success to a tool we can use to impact others and live more intentionally.”

Creating impact on others. Pursuing work that matters. Redefining the role of money. I firmly believe if we can achieve these three things, our lives will be bursting with meaning. That is my dream for myself, my dream for my children, my dream for my clients, and my dream for you.