Getting Rid of the "Just"

I recently had coffee with my friend Angie, and she said something that struck me deeply. She was sharing about some amazing developments in her career and how much peace/confidence/excitement she has as she's entering this new season. As she shared her newfound perspective and momentum, one of the contributing factors was giving herself more credit than she used to. As she put it, "getting rid of the 'just.'" "I'm just a ______." I just do _______." This "just" syndrome stemmed from comparing herself to what others do and what our culture defines as successful.

Can you relate? Wow, I sure could. I can think of countless conversations I've had with people where "I just _____" came into the fold. Shortly after having kids, I remember someone at a party asking my wife, Sarah, what she does for a living. "I just stay at home." Another client responded to a similar question: "I'm just a teacher." While having a drink with a friend, he stated, "I just cut grass."

I'm not innocent, either. I've uttered my fair share of "just" statements over the years, especially since leaving my prior career. It's amazing how much of our identity we subconsciously pull from our title, status, and other superficial nuances of life. After leaving my previous career, I felt a bit naked. I didn't think my work defined me....until I left. When someone asked what I do for a living, I'd start by telling them what I used to do. What!?!? I left a career to do something I'm called to do, I'm excited to do it, and I'm already making a difference doing it, but yet I'm telling people what I used to do?!?! That was a rude awakening for me.

Wherever you insert "just" into your life, please get rid of it. Your work, gifts, relationships, influence, and impact aren't "just." They matter deeply to a whole lot of people. As I often say about my own work, "I may not change the world, but I'm most certainly going to help change some people's lives.......and they may change the world."

Every single one of us has the opportunity to positively impact people's lives around us. Family, friends, co-workers, customers, and even strangers on the street. What an opportunity!!! However, to live to our full potential, we need to get rid of "just," as my friend Angie beautifully says. Thanks, Angie, for the fantastic perspective. I think you just impacted a lot of people with that little slice of wisdom!

Yes, Your Work Matters. Yes, Even Yours

A young man recently contacted me via social media with a profound question. He stumbled upon a video clip from our Meaning Over Money podcast where I talked about how all work matters because it adds value to others. When he heard this, he started to question his own career choices. It's not because he hates his job.... it's the opposite, actually. And it's not because he doesn't make a decent living.... it's the opposite, actually. His pondering came from a place where he needed to know if his work actually adds value to others.

He's a video game streamer. Yes, he plays video games for a living. He plays while people watch him on the internet. He livestreams his play on Twitch and TikTok, and publishes the full videos on YouTube after the fact. He's 22 and made "around $200,000 last year."

What do you think? Does his work matter? Does it actually add value to people's lives? Do you believe what he does is silly and a waste of time? Do you feel like he's wasting his life away? Do you think it's ridiculous someone like him can generate nearly a quarter million dollars per year? If I were to survey each of you, I suspect there would be a wide array of answers. Answers ranging from "he's a loser" to "he's my new hero."

Here's what I told him. Of course his work is adding value to others. Otherwise, thousands of people wouldn't pay him to be a member of his community, and people wouldn't spend tens of thousands of hours watching his videos. At the heart of it, he's an entertainer. He's funny, engaging, and shockingly enjoyable to watch. He provides people with laughs and light-hearted content when they come home from a tough day. But it goes deeper than that. He's creating genuine community. Not just for himself, but for thousands of people who follow him. When you spend even a few minutes watching his channel, it's clear there's a core group of people who know and care about each other. He created that. He took an interest (video games), and widely available tools (his computer and a few social media platforms), and combined it with his gifts (humor, engagement, and empathy), to create something that matters. Something that adds value to our culture. Something that gives people a place to belong.

Yeah, his work matters. It sure does matter. It matters a ton to a lot of people. It doesn't matter what you or I think of his work. To the people he serves, he's adding a ton of value. His work matters. That's why it's his work, and not yours/mine. It's the beauty of work that matters. We each have the opportunity to carve our own path. This young man did it in his own unique way, and we each get to do the same.

"I Want to Be a ____"

About once a month, one of my kids will update his proclamation of what he wants to be when he grows up. Recent examples include a firefighter, basketball player, mowin' man, podcaster, and "in Twenty One Pilots."

Sometimes their ideas are practical, and sometimes they are absurd. However, I have one guiding rule as I try to parent these little men: don't kill their dreams. So often, I see parents criticizing, downplaying, demeaning, and even mocking their children's dreams. I've witnessed many of my youth group students have an amazing aspiration, only for it to be zapped away by their well-intentioned parents.

Sure, sometimes these dreams and ideas may be far-fetched. But it's not our job as parents to squeeze the life out of their dreams. Rather, it's our job to support, encourage, teach, and walk alongside them. They will eventually find their right path.....if we don't emotionally and mentally beat it out of them.

I get how this happens. We want our kids to succeed. We want them to be in a position where they can take care of themselves. We don't want to see them suffer. In the process, though, we're doing more harm than good. In an attempt to protect them from failing, we're preventing them from winning. We're trying to ensure they have money, while simultaneously robbing them of meaning. We're trying to steer them onto the "normal" path, when maybe their path needs to be anything but normal. I know many young men who were forced into college by their loving parents, only to hate it, get depressed, then drop out. They beat themselves up and feel as though they are just giant losers. Then, they will usually find the path that truly suits them. Once they do, their creativity, work ethic, and drive comes alive. It's like a light switch.

Who knows, maybe I'll read this post years down the road and consider my past self wrong......but I doubt it. I suspect my kids will do their fair share of failing as the years roll by. It will hurt them, but it will also hurt me to watch. However, that's where the beauty lies. From failure comes pain. From pain comes growth. From growth comes impact. From impact comes meaning.

I'll be there to walk alongside them, encourage them, and support them when they need me. I hope they never let go of their crazy dreams. I hope their dreams grow with them. I hope their dreams are so big that others will laugh and shake their head. Whatever those dreams are, I hope they are uniquely their dreams.....not mine. I hope they stay true to themselves and aggressively pursue whatever path that entails.

Parents of adults, what are your thoughts? Any wisdom to share? Would love to hear about your wins and losses in this department.

"Do I Have to Like My Job?"

I receive this question often, but it felt particularly loaded when I recently received it from a man in Germany. He reached out via a DM on Instagram. There was a bit more context involved, but in short, he wanted to know the following: "Do I Have to Like My Job?"

I regularly reference a staggering statistic on this blog and the podcast. 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs. I hoped these last few years would help shift these numbers, but new data indicates it's more of the same. According to Gallup's latest numbers, 69% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs. In Europe, where this man resides, it's much, much worse. According to Gallup's recent study, 87% of Europeans dislike or hate their jobs. That's nearly 9 out of 10 adults across the entire continent. Holy crap!!! That's a staggeringly sad statistic.

My message to this man is two-fold. First, you're not alone. Most people in my country and his country don't like their jobs. What he's experiencing is quite normal, unfortunately. It doesn't make him evil, or stupid, or a failure. For as much as I can tell, he's quite successful and has a good life.

No, we don't have to like our jobs. We can live a quality life without liking our jobs. Tens of millions of Americans and Germans alike do it every day. It's indeed possible to dislike or hate our job but still have a meaningful life. Our jobs don't define us, and there's more to life than work.

However, and this is a big however. You deserve better than a job you dislike or hate. I think you deserve better than to wake up in the morning and dread what you're about to do. If you spend more than half your waking hours doing something you tolerate or hate, I'm sorry. If you can't wait until Fridays, then get depressed about Mondays, I'm so sorry! If you spend decades racing as fast as you can to reach the finish line and retire so you can "finally enjoy life," I'm sorry.

No, we don't have to like our jobs. Hundreds of millions of people don't like their jobs. It's the normal way to live life. There's nothing inherently wrong with it. On the other hand, I think this man deserves better, I think you deserve better, and I think I deserve better. We have but one life to live. As such, I think we deserve to wake up each day knowing we're about to do something that matters. If we're going to spend half our waking hours away from our family, we deserve to do something that fills our bucket and matters to us.

This is my wish for this man, and it's my wish for you. Whatever you're doing today, I hope it matters to you. You deserve that.

The Jobs That Shape You

During a recent conversation with a youth group student, the topic of jobs came up. And not just any jobs, but the crappiest of the crappy jobs. This student had recently experienced a string of terrible work. He was frustrated and feeling down about the entire idea of work.

I expressed my dual sympathies and congratulations on his crappy jobs. Sympathy because crappy can be crappy....and that's no fun. But I congratulated him because these are the jobs that will shape him. These experiences will put him to the test, show him how to persevere, shine a light on what he doesn't want to do, and teach him how to serve people well (even when it doesn't feel great to do so). Then, I shared a few of my crappy high school jobs:

My first ever job was getting up at 4AM every single morning during summer break so I could rake the sand traps at our local golf course. The actual work was ok, but getting up every day at 4AM as a 15-year-old trying to enjoy my summer was brutal. But that job taught me so much.

Then there was my job at the cheese factory when I was 16/17. No, not Cheesecake Factory. A literal cheese factory. Again, I would get up at 4AM every Sunday during the school year to go package cheese. There's nothing like being half awake, at 5AM on a weekend morning, standing in a 45-degree room for seven hours. But that job taught me so much.

Ah, then there's the U.S. Census Bureau. Somehow, at age 18, I stumbled upon an opportunity to work for the government in its effort to collect data for the 2000 census. My job was to knock on the front doors of families who hadn't yet submitted their surveys and convince them to give me their information. What I learned on my first day was this: there was a reason some people hadn't filled out their survey.....they really didn't want to give the government any information. So when some kid comes knocking and asking for personal details, emotions run high. Two men pulled guns on me that first week (one of which was the father of my brother's classmate). I even approached a house where dozens of animal carcasses were rotting in a screened-in porch. Yeah, that entire experience was absolutely miserable. But that job taught me so much.

Even if I could, I'd never undo any of these crappy experiences. They helped shape me into the person I would later become. Without them, I would be missing many key attributes that have led to my career and leadership success. I cherish the value of those jobs.

So to my young friend coming off a string of terrible jobs, congrats! You're exactly where you need to be. Keep moving forward. Those experiences will shape you.

The Work Goes On

One of my friends recently left his job to do something else. He enjoyed his job and found a ton of fulfillment in it. He served a lot of people and made a significant impact on this world. But he felt a call to do something new in his life. In this new season of his career, he'll serve people differently. He'll use his gifts, passions, relationships, experiences, influence, and resources to find new ways to make an impact.

I'm excited for him! It will be an interesting shift considering he's been at his job for 50 years. Yes, 50 years! That's not a typo. He's been at his job since eight years before I was born!! He just turned 74, and he's excited for the next season of his career.

Many people probably look at him and think, "he should just retire and enjoy his life!" The truth is, he enjoys his life more than most people I know. That's the beauty of work that matters. He's pursued work that matters for a half-century, and he'll do the same for whatever remaining time God gives him.

Sure, he'll probably slow down a bit. After all, 74 isn't quite the same as 34. His hours may be shorter, and the physical intensity may decrease, but the impact will no doubt be just as profound (if not more) than the first 50 years of his career. After all, he enters the next season of his career with more relationships, experience, influence, and resources than he's ever had in his life. The world says he should pack it in and ride off into the sunset, where he can live a life of leisure and spend his life savings on himself. Instead, the work goes on, and his meaning bucket will remain filled to the brim. Faith, family, friends, mission, memories, and work that matters.

He could spend his remaining days golfing, sitting on the porch, or parked in front of the TV.....but he won't. His purpose is too great for that. Instead, he'll continue to do what he's called to do: make an impact.

This is what I call a role model!

"What In the World Am I Doing?"

"What in the world am I doing?" These were the words spoken by a close friend who was feeling extraordinarily stressed by his work. It was a redundant question, but these words hit home for me. I, too, have these exact same moments. What in the world am I doing!?!?

He knows what he's doing, of course. He knows exactly what he's doing, and it's awesome. He's making a massive impact on this world, and his work provides him a ton of meaning along the way. This is the thing about work that matters. It's not necessarily fun. It can be, but only some of the time. Other parts of the work can be tremendously challenging. It can occasionally wreak havoc on us mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Not because the work is bad or unhealthy, but because work that matters is rarely easy. It forces us to push ourselves, take the road less traveled, and go against the grain. Living in discomfort, aggressively pursuing something we are called to do, and fighting through the many challenges just comes with the territory. It's hard, but so, so beautiful.

My friend went on to say that though he wishes he didn't feel this way, it's a sign that he's exactly where he needs to be. There is an alternate reality where he lives an easier, less stressful, more comfortable life. I know this, and he knows this. But never in a million years would he trade this for that alternate life. His "why" is too big, the stakes too high, and the impact potential too grand. Thus, he will persevere and the adventure will continue.

Perhaps I'm not making the best case for pursuing work that matters. It's far from perfect and often quite uncomfortable. On the flip side, I don't want to paint an unrealistically rosy picture of a fun-filled, easy-going, stress-free life. Context matters and candor is key.

But here's the promise I can make you: it's worth it. Work that matters is always worth it. If you've found it in your life, congratulations on being in rarified air. Don't ever take it for granted or let it go. If you haven't found it.....yet......the search is not over!

This Generation, Man!

Do you ever think about how doomed we are with this young generation coming up? Lazy, disinterested, entitled, and spoiled. They don't want to work, have no idea how the world works, and are too soft. Well, that's the narrative, anyway.

I couldn't disagree more. I think this cultural narrative of dragging our young generation through the mud is unfair at best, complete crap at worst. Every generation has bad eggs. I know you know some bad eggs in your generation. You surely wouldn't want those people's faults and failings to define you, would you? That would be unjust and ridiculous.

I think Gen Z will absolutely change the world. In the coming years, I believe some of the our most profound problems will be overcome by the unique minds of this generation. They are simply wired differently than us older people. While the world calls them unmotivated, I think we need to clarify. They are highly motivated, just not by money. In the world of meaning over money, this generation gets it unlike any before them. That value set doesn't breed laziness, but rather impact and purpose.

I think of Cole, my Meaning Over Money co-founder. He's a filmmaker who has a heart to tell stories that will change the world. He works his butt off, he's a ridiculously good husband, and he adores his two kids. (My grammar check software suggested I replace "ridiculously good husband" with "perfect husband." His wife would disagree.....). He's technically the world's youngest millenial, but I'm going to lump him in here because I like talking about him.

I think of Parker, my young friend who recently jumped on board our team to record content for us. He's passionate about so many things in life, work and otherwise. He just returned from a 3-month overseas mission trip where he impacted a ton of people. He has a heart of gold and a desire to move the needle in this world.

I think of Claire, my social media manager. I used to be her youth group leader, but now she blesses me with her expertise and wisdom. She's 16 years younger than me, yet I look up to her and learn from her every day. You better keep an eye on this one. She, her husband, and her future kids are going to make an impact on this world.

I think of Noah, a gifted photographer who has absolutely crushed the content creation game for Northern Vessel. This guy has a vision, a motor, and a heart to make a difference. Every time I see him, he's pouring into others and doing exactly what he's meant to do.

I have a hard stop at 500 words for this daily blog, but I could list off another 30 young people who are crushing it and flying directly in the face of everything negative we collectively say about this generation. The next generation has arrived, and they aren't stopping at "good enough."

Take a Breather, Then Get Back In the Game!

Last night, our family returned from our annual lake trip. Lots of pool time, too many good eats, and countless memories filled our time together. While I always look forward to this trip, I'm equally excited to return.

While I absolutely love these family trips, I think context is important. For many, vacations are an opportunity to temporarily escape the rigors of life. Considering 70% of Americans either dislike or hate their job, I suspect more people than not can relate to this concept. Vacations and time off allow us to receive temporary relief from a day-to-day, week-to-week grind that simply wears us down. I can relate to this feeling, though it's getting further in my rearview mirror.

These days, my family vacations feel entirely different. I'm not escaping anything, because I love my day-to-day, week-to-week life. Instead, my family vacations offer me the opportunity to take a breather. It's a time to catch my breath, get my bearings straight, and regain my focus, so I can jump back into the game with fresh legs. I look forward to the break, but I'm just as excited to get back on the court as I was to get some rest.

I couldn't be more excited to get back to work next week. Lots of good things are in store. People to serve, impact to make, content to create, concepts to launch. But the breaks are important. If we're not able to catch our breath, we aren't able to give our good work everything it deserves. While I don't feel fully rested (traveling with two six-year-olds....), I have a renewed focus and excitement for what's about to happen.

Can you relate? If so, that's so amazing. If not, just know that reality does exist. You don't have to pursue it, but just know it's out there. A life where we look forward to returning to everyday life as much as we look forward to our vacations. It's beautiful.

A Good Day's Work

Have I ever mentioned how much I love work? Not because it's fun (it's often not), but because it matters. There's something really fulfilling about waking up in the morning, serving people well, using our gifts and talents, and coming home knowing we gave it everything we had. Yesterday was a perfect example of it:

• 4:45 AM: Woke up in Midland, TX, and made my way to the airport.

• 7:00 AM: Flight to Houston.

• 9:00 AM: Tour of my client's dry ice manufacturing facility and meetings with their team.

• 1:30 PM: Drive to the Houston airport.

• 3:00 PM: Flight back to Midland.

• 4:30 PM: In the office to continue making headway on our project.

• 7:30 PM: Dinner with my client.

• 9:00 PM: Back to the hotel

It was a 16-hour whirlwind. Not what I would do every day, but it was an amazingly satisfying day. I was completely exhausted, but I felt great as the day wrapped up! I laid my head on the pillow knowing I did something worth doing. 

There was a season in my life where I might have thought to myself, "Ugh, I can't believe I'm still working." Now, It's an honor. Work isn't something we have to do.....it's something we get to do. Whenever we work, we serve people (co-workers, bosses, employees, customers, etc.) and add value to their lives. It's not always fun, but it matters. 

Work matters. Even if you're not at your dream job, your work still matters. Even if you're not working a ton of hours, your work still matters. Even if it feels like your job kinda sucks, your work still matters. Even if you’re working in a different industry than you’d like, your work still matters. Even if you're in an entry-level job, your work still matters. Please don't ever demean your role and the value you add to this world. It matters. It's a blessing to be able to work, and not everyone is physically and mentally healthy enough to do that. If you are, be grateful. It's a gift. 

"Daddy is Helping People"

I didn't become a parent until I was 35 years old. One of the benefits of not becoming a parent until later in life is it allowed me to watch everyone around me parent. As I watched, I noticed one trend that disturbed me. Kids would freak out when their parents went to work. To an extent, I understood this. Kids want to be with their parents.....period. However, I noticed something else. Whenever the topic came up, it was communicated in some variation of the following: "I have to go to work." 

Two things stand out about this phrase. First, "have to" designates it's not a choice. The parent must do it, even if they don't want to. Work = bad. Second, the word "work" doesn't have much context. Small children may not fully understand this word, and later it will be merely understood by the child as a "job," or something you do for money. 

I decided to change the narrative when I became a father. From the time Finn and Pax were babies, we never used the phrase "go to work." Instead, it was always "go help people." When the kids eventually began to verbally converse, Sarah didn't say, "Daddy has to go work." It was, "Daddy is helping people." It may sound like I'm splitting hairs, but the difference is staggering.....especially for kids. 

My kids don't always like when I leave to "go help people," but they understand it at a deeper level. They know I do it because a) I want to help people, b) helping people is a good thing, and c) helping people results in money that we can use to pay the bills, give, and do fun things. Work = good.

It all came full circle yesterday. The Northern Vessel farmer's market crew was down a man, so TJ asked if I'd be willing to be the third man (who makes sure the ice, cups, lids, and all other supplies are constantly stocked so the other two can serve people with hospitality and efficiency). I told him I would, but I needed to have the kids with me since Sarah was traveling. What an excellent opportunity to put the kids to the test! I was a bit nervous going in, but they absolutely blew me away! They worked hard, stayed focused, accomplished the mission, and had fun doing it. They worked their little butts off.....and it was a lot! At some point in the morning, Finn looked over to me and said, "Daddy, I love helping people. I'm having so much fun. I wish we could do it longer." 

So many good things have come out of this mission to redefine "work" with our kids:

• A desire to serve people

• An appreciation and respect for the importance of work

• A desire to take on challenging work

• The enjoyment of work

It was a wonderful day, and I’m so glad I was able to experience that with them.

In the Zone

Today's post is a weird topic, but since it's my blog, I suppose I get to do that. I've recently been thinking about the idea of being "in the zone." It's a common concept in sports. It makes me think back to Michael Jordan and some of his dominating performances over his illustrious career. Though mine weren't as infamous as his, I vividly remember being in the zone a time or two in my basketball career. Notably, a 47-point game in a JV tournament when I was a freshman in high school. It was like a switch inside me flipped, and everything around me was in slow motion. It was still me, but it was a different version. Nearly 30 years later, I still remember those feelings like it was yesterday.

Last week, I was in a meeting with a friend. This guy is a very mild-mannered man. Soft-spoken, humble, and methodical with his approach. But something happened to him during this meeting. A switch flipped, and he became a similar but different person. He was in the zone. My jaw dropped. It was stunning to watch. In those moments, he was his very best self.

As 90s kid, I still love music videos. I often watch music videos at night before bed, especially from my favorite group, Twenty One Pilots. Recently, one particular live performance video has resonated with me. For context, these two guys are very soft-spoken. They interact with a playfulness and innocence. But something happens when they get on that stage. A switch flips, and they become a different version of themselves. I don't think it's an act, but rather something deep within them that gets turned on when the time is right. They are overcome with the moment and their work. I recommend you check out the video. It perfectly represents what I’m talking about!

My speaking career has been influenced by a lot of people, but none more than Twenty One Pilots's lead singer, Tyler Joseph. Watching him turn it on when he hits the stage has given me a blueprint of how I, too, can flip that switch when it's go-time. I think about this often, including the moments immediately before I step onto the stage. It's a way to get in the zone when the moment calls for it. There's no better feeling for me. It's raging nerves for 30-60 minutes, then a still peace in the minutes leading up to it, then it explodes into what is hopefully a powerful and impactful talk.

Are there moments in your life where you get into the zone? I'd love to hear about them. Mine are the absolute best, most impactful bursts of work for me, so I'm dying to hear what this concept looks like for you. Though much of our work can be mundane and uneventful, I hope you have these profound moments throughout your journey that remind you of what your best self looks like.

Weird post, but I dig it!

Sunday at 4PM

We got home last night from a 5-day camping trip in the Black Hills. It was a great trip, filled with new experiences, shared memories, and tasty food. It was a long drive home, but it went as smoothly as an 11-hour journey with two six-year-old boys can go. I spent much of the drive home thinking about my week ahead. No, not dreading it. Instead, I couldn't have been more excited. We have some huge things in store at Northern Vessel this week, I have lots of awesome coaching sessions on the books, I'm meeting with some interesting people, and I have a bunch of meaningful content to produce. It's a wild feeling when you're on the way home from vacation, excited about what's waiting for you when you return.

As I'm typing this, I recognize this isn't the case for most people. And by most, I mean most. Statistically, 4:00 PM on Sunday afternoon is the most depressing hour of the week. The weekend has largely passed, and we shift our attention to what's waiting for us on Monday morning. Have you ever felt the Monday dread creep in on Sunday afternoon/evening? I've had lots of those days! It's the worst feeling! So when I rave about how excited I am about Mondays, it doesn't come from a place of naivety or lack of perspective. I know all too well what people are feeling on Sundays......and it sucks! I think people deserve better than to fall into the statistic of the most depressing hour of the week.

So as you're reading this, ask yourself how you felt last Sunday afternoon/evening. Did you look forward to what was coming in the week ahead? Or did you feel some level of dread? The answer to that question may be telling. I'm not telling you what to do, but I want you to know what's possible. There IS a reality where Mondays are amazing. There IS a reality where you're just as excited to get back from vacation as you were to leave for it. There IS a reality where not only is Sunday at 4:00 PM not the most depressing hour of your week, but one of the best hours of your week.

That reality lives on the other side of some tough decisions.

Five Margaritas Deep

My friend Kelsey sent me a meme the other day. Given our dozens of conversations about work and meaning, she knew I would get a kick out of it. Here's what it said: "I don't have a dream job because I don't dream about working. I dream about being 5 margaritas deep on a Caribbean island." 

It definitely gave me a good laugh! Someone probably made it to be tongue-in-cheek, but the best jokes are rooted in truth. First, let's get something straight. I love being five margaritas deep on a Caribbean island as much as the next person.

Work gets a bad rap in our culture. It's a means to an end, a necessary evil, something we do because we have to do it. From the time we are kids, work gets stigmatized. 

• We're made to work as punishment.

• Our earliest jobs are usually pretty crappy (two of mine were raking sand traps at 6AM in the summer and working in the cheese factory at 4AM on Sundays).

• If 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs, there's a high likelihood we watch at least one of our parents have a negative relationship with their work.

• We usually launch into adulthood with a bunch of debt, meaning we feel immediate pressure to find work to pay for the loan payments.

Every step of the way, we're learning and feeling that work sucks. With that context in mind, I get it! It makes sense why we would collectively view and treat work like a necessary evil.

Here's a different perspective of work I'd encourage you to think about. Work isn't something we have to do, but rather something we get to do. Not everyone is physically and mentally healthy enough to be productive.....it's a gift to have that ability. Work isn't just trading our time for money. It's an opportunity to use our skills, creativity, passions, experience, and influence to serve people. Serving customers, colleagues, and bosses. When we work, we add value to other people's lives:

• My kids get to enjoy an afternoon at the pool because the lifeguards are using their skills to keep watch and order. Without them, there is no pool.

• I shared a meal with a friend last night. Without the waiter and cooks, none of that would have happened. 

• My bike chain recently broke, and I took it to the shop. Without the team at my local bike shop, I wouldn't have a working bike to enjoy.

Maybe none of these examples are your dream job, but let's not lose sight of the value of work. It's not a necessary evil. It's an opportunity to make the world a better place. It's a chance for us to improve the lives of others. Yeah, we get to make some money along the way as well. That's awesome. But let's not demean the value of work in our lives. After all, that's what makes those "five margaritas deep on a Caribbean island" days so satisfying. 

Even the Best Struggle

I received a phone call from a highly successful business owner earlier last week. This is someone who founded and runs a business many people would know. By all accounts, this company is wildly successful and holds a strong position in the culture. I know this person through a mutual friend, and we periodically have meandering conversations about business, behavioral science, and ridiculous ideas.

On this particular call, we went down the road of the day-to-day struggles of running a business. I'll remind you again this person runs a highly successful business. During the chat, he blurted out, "Every day seems hard. I often wonder if I'm cut out for this." What?!?! This is a highly respected business leader. If he isn't cut out for this, then I'm screwed!

That was yet another reminder of such a wise lesson: this isn't supposed to be easy! If I ever get to the point where it feels easy, it means one of a few different things: 1) I'm lying to myself, 2) I'm not pushing myself enough, or 3) I'm leaving impact on the table. It reminds me of a conversation I once had with an old boss. He, too, was highly successful in his career. I asked him when he finally got comfortable in his role. His answer disappointed and frustrated me. "Never." "Never?". "Every time I came close to being comfortable, it was time for me to take on new responsibilities and learn new things. So I never felt comfortable."

I'll always remember that conversation. Sometimes, in my own self-doubt, I'll look around the room of highly successful people and remember most of them are likely feeling some version of this as well. It helps to humanize people and also give ourself some grace along the way. This is an experience I get to share nearly daily with coaching clients. Many of them have a notable level of accomplishment and achievement in their respective fields, yet I get to see what's behind the curtain. Behind the curtain, they are just like you and me: self-doubting, mistake-making, outcome-fearing humans.

Even the best struggle. If they aren't perfect, maybe it's ok if you aren't, either. Let's face the day head-on and with confidence. When the challenge presents itself, do the best you can, learn, push yourself, and be better next time. Oh yeah, and along the way, don't be afraid to show your humanity to those around you. Vulnerability doesn't make you weak; it makes you real.

Empty Pantries and Rolexes

I had a fantastic week working in Midland, TX. The days were long and I missed my family, but I’m so glad I had the opportunity to make the trip and do work that matters. As I was flying home last night, I inadvertently found myself eavesdropping on a conversation happening immediately behind me. It was a man, probably in his 40s, talking to another man. They started talking about where they grew up, but the discussion quickly shifted to the first man’s childhood. He shared the harrowing story of poverty and how he and his siblings never knew if there would be a meal at night. The pantry was often empty, and he and his siblings would often find small jobs to bring in a little extra money to contribute to the family. I really felt for this man. I know there are a lot of people who go through similar experiences, and all are heartbreaking to me.

Fast forward an hour, and the two men start talking again. The same man again shares about his life. This time, the conversation is drastically different. He’s talking about his toys and trips. The spoils of his work. He’s an oil field guy, so there’s no doubt he grinds in his career. Work hard, play hard, as they say. What he said next perked my ears. “A few years ago, I bought a Rolex. I always wanted a Rolex, so I decided to get one. $15,000. But after wearing it once, I realized I didn’t really like it. So I just threw it in a drawer. Been sitting there for maybe 10 years. Oh well.”

As he was sharing this story, all I could think about was how $15,000 would have changed his family’s life when he was a kid with an empty pantry and an empty stomach. Granted, he probably doesn’t own a Delorean to go back in time*…..but he kind of does. There are so many people struggling today. Struggling in the same way he once struggled. Kids who go to bed hungry every day, probably in his own town. How much impact could he make with $15,000? Probably a ton! Instead, there’s $15,000 (plus appreciation) just sitting in a junk drawer in his kitchen.

I’m not demeaning this man. In fact, he’s pretty normal. Maybe not the Rolex part, but in the way he’s lost perspective as more resources came into his life. I see it daily and walk alongside countless families fighting that same battle. Some are winning, and some are losing. It’s so easy to lose sight of where we came from. We whine about how our 5-bedroom house isn’t big enough, yet that dumpy 1-bedroom apartment 20 years ago was just fine. We’re adamant that we need to drop $10,000+ to stay on-site at Disney World to “get the full experience,” but we were happy as clams to sit on the floorboards of the no-A/C van, listening to our parents’ lame music for 10 straight hours, on a family road trip to Mount Rushmore when we were kids. Here’s the cool part, though. It’s never too late. We are one or two decisions from drastically and suddenly shifting the trajectory of our life (and maybe someone else’s). Don’t allow money to let you lose perspective.

*Side note: I heard the other day that if Back to the Future was made today, Marty McFly would go back to 1993. Let that sink in……

Say "Yes", Then Enjoy the Ride

I've spent all week amidst the oilfields of West Texas. 105 degrees, sunny, strong winds, and a culture far removed from my normal day-to-day life. I've been on-site with a client, working on some fun but intense projects. It's been a series of 12-hour work days capped off by a delightful meal before returning to the hotel. It's been a challenging week, but it's been a rewarding week. I never anticipated this is where I'd spend a week of my life in June 2023, but life is funny like that. There were a million reasons it wouldn't happen, but one thing led me to this place: "Yes." In December, I had a coffee with a man who runs an up-and-coming company. This is where he asked me to do some work for them. I didn't really know what to say, as the work was a lot different than most of my other client and content creation work. However, it sounded fascinating, it was an opportunity to exercise some of the skills I put on a shelf after leaving my last career, and I knew it would be immensely challenging. I was correct on all accounts.

I'm not advocating we say "yes" to every single opportunity that comes our way. I know first-hand how poorly that can go for us. However, I suggest that maybe we need to be more willing to say "yes." Sometimes we need to say "yes" enough times before we truly understand where we need to say "no." Some of the best parts of my life are things I likely would have said "no" to.

If you're anxious about saying "yes" to something, ask yourself one crucial question: "I am stuck if I do this?" In most cases, there's no real risk to saying "yes." I could have done one project for this company, realized it wasn't for me, then quickly got out. No harm, no foul. That option was on the table. Instead, I'm in Texas meeting new people, learning new things, and adding value to others in a different way. It's wonderful, and I'm grateful for the opportunity!

I'm excited to see my family later tonight, but I'll also be excited for my next trip to one of this company's various locations. Life is a fun journey full of twists, turns, and uncertainties. I heard we'll never get out alive. If that's true, let's say "yes" more often and enjoy the ride.

Work That Matters Matters

On Saturday, I had the pleasure of spending the morning with our Northern Vessel Coffee team at the Des Moines Farmer’s Market. This market is one of the top markets in the country and welcomes more than 20,000 visitors every Saturday morning. Being invited to participate in the market this year was a huge win and honor for the business, and an opportunity we don’t take lightly.

When the idea rose to the surface, two of our full-time guys immediately stepped up and said they wanted to take ownership of it. This is a tremendous amount of work! The brewing, the prep, the transportation, the setup, the actual market, the teardown, and the part where they do it again next week (for 25 more weeks). The operation is primarily run through those two guys, but a third person (my job this week) is needed to help keep the train on the tracks by making sure they have ice, cups, lids, kegs, and everything else constantly stocked. After all, the market is pure madness and they can easily go two hours without even a 10-second break. They ended up killing 14 kegs of our signature oat milk cold brew lattes.

One thing is clear. Those two guys were ground to a pulp by the time it was over and we had finally loaded all our gear back into the truck. Here’s the thing, though. They were living their best life. The entire time, they served people well and did it with a passion you could read on their faces. Their work matters to them. It matters deeply. I see it in the shop, and I see it at the market. The entire team, and these two guys in this particular scenario, are driven to excellence and believe in the mission. They aren’t serving coffee…..they are adding value to people’s lives. They are injecting joy, hospitality, community, and yes, some tasty coffee, into people’s day.

This is the beautiful part about work. All work matters, but not all work matters to you or to me. We are each called to identify, pursue, and embrace work that matters to each of us. Not fun work. Not easy work. Not simple work. Not status-driven work. Not lucrative work. Not glamorous work. Work that matters. Work that moves the needle in our lives. Work that we’re excited to do when we wake up in the morning and feel fulfilled in when we’re going to bed later that night.

My favorite moment was towards the end of the day. The market had closed and we were nearly done packing up the Truck with all our gear to take back to the shop. The two guys, beat red from a combination of the sun and five hours of straight grind, looked at each other and smiled. They had just done something special, together, had the time of their lives doing it, and felt a sense of fulfillment for what just happened. Work that matters, man! Work that matters.

What is a "Real Job"?

My latest article for the Greater Des Moines Partnership was published yesterday. In it, I explore the rise of the 1099 economy. If you haven’t heard the term “1099 economy”, I’ll give a quick summary. It’s a reference to people who do work without being official employees of a company. They don’t get an official paycheck and their engagement is typically shorter in nature. This is an ever-increasing trend in the business world, but it’s still largely misunderstood and demeaned by our culture.

I introduce the article with the story of a young friend who is a 1099 contractor. He has a beautiful career. Work that matters, clients he enjoys working with, and a pretty good income. However, this person is surrounded by loved ones who simply don’t get it. “When are you going to get a real job?” Ouch! Nothing will give you self-doubt like having a trusted family member insinuate you don’t have a real career.

What is a “real job?” To be honest, I don’t have a good definition. I spent 15 years with the same company, as an employee, climbing up the ladder, which was undoubtedly THE definition of a “real job.” My career today? I suspect a fair number of people don’t consider my current career a real job. I coach families and businesses, do professional public speaking, write, podcast, sit on a handful of boards, do contract work for a start-up industrial company, co-own/operate a coffee company, and probably a few other things I’m blanking on.

Is that a “real job?” By the definition of our culture, probably not. But I don’t think it matters. What matters is I’m living out my unique calling, using my gifts/passions, serving others, waking up every day excited for what I’m about to do, and financially providing for my family. Aside from that, the definition is irrelevant. It reminds me of a conversation I had with my friend, Gary Hoag, in the weeks leading up to my transition from a very traditional career to a very non-traditional, unproven career path.

Me: “I’m nervous because what I’m about to do is weird and hasn’t yet been legitimized.”

Gary: “Only God gets to decide what’s legitimate.”

Fair point, Gary, fair point. I had countless people in my life tell me to stay put, take the safe path, and focus on comfort and security. I’m grateful for Gary and a few others who were on the other side, pushing me toward meaning. For that reason, I take every opportunity I get to tell people in my life, like the young man mentioned above, to simply pursue meaning (whether it’s a “real job” or not).

Whatever you do when you get out of bed in the morning, whether it’s a “real job” or not, I hope you find it to be fulfilling and meaningful. That’s what really matters!

Nothing Is Wasted

My young friend Cam, an accomplished track athlete, just finished her high school athletic career a few days ago. She’ll soon graduate and move on to the next chapter of her life. In the aftermath of her last formal competition, she posted something on IG that caught my eye. Her words were profound, and I thought they were worth sharing:

For years, it’s been “on to the next one.” Those two laps on the track… that was it. Now there is no “next one.” The challenges I’ve faced in sports—physical and otherwise—have undoubtedly shaped me to be who I am today. I’m sure the opportunities to apply the lessons I have learned in my future *non-athletic* endeavors will be limitless. I have now broken one ceiling—it’s time for me to find another.

It’s always hard to close chapters in life, especially when they’ve been such a key part of our journey for many years. When I read Cam’s words, I think back to my high school basketball career. I mourned that loss for a long time (I wish I had Cam’s wise perspective at that age). I also think back to several other major shifts in my life, including my drastic career move in 2019.

I think Cam nailed it when she talked about applying the lessons learned in her future endeavors. Whether we’re moving on from a sport, relationship, job, or any number of other chapters, nothing is wasted. Nothing is thrown away. Nothing is squandered. The experiences, relationships, influence, memories, failings, achievements, habits, and learnings. Cam will take each of those with her and apply it to whatever comes next. Then she’ll do it again….then again. Every step of the way, Cam will get better and more people will benefit from her good work. It’s a beautiful thing.

Let Cam’s words sit with you today. Some of you know there’s a major shift that needs to happen in your life, but you’re scared to “throw away” the thing you need to move on from. Just remember, nothing is wasted. Be grateful for all you’ve gained and experienced from this season of life, but at the same time be willing to step into the next great thing.