An Open Postcard to My Kids
To fully understand the context, this was written on 4/9/2019, on a bumpy plane ride, in the waning hours of a 22-hour work day. I was weary, excited, overwhelmed, scared, anxious, and probably half-awake. Despite all that, it’s my favorite thing I’ve ever written…..and it’s finally time to share.
I travel a lot. Personal. Professional. Missional. I love traveling, but man do I ever miss my family when I’m gone!! I love the food, the hotels, and the sights…..but I miss the hugs, the giggles, and the snuggles. Seeing new things always gives me a rush, but nothing is compared to the rush of getting my kids out of bed each morning.
When I became a parent, I knew I would still be traveling a lot. I was ok with that, but I also wanted to find a way to show my kids they are always a priority. Since the very first time I had to leave those cute little babies, I have made a conscious effort to get them a postcard from each and every city I’ve visited. I always write on the card to tell them how much I miss them, and perhaps share a funny story about something that happened to me on the trip. They are too young to understand these postcards right now, but someday I hope they come to cherish these little cardboard time capsules.
Tonight, I find myself on the way home from Fort Lauderdale. This trip wasn’t particularly eventful, aside from it being a day trip and I’ve been up since 3AM. What sets this trip apart is the fact I’m planning to resign from my career tomorrow. Stepping away from a job I’ve had for nearly 15 years. Walking away from the only thing I’ve known in my entire adult life. Not leaving some crappy, meaningless job. I’m leaving an amazing job that is probably one of the coolest jobs in the world. A job that I could only dream about back in my college days as an aspiring investment professional.
As I began writing on their postcard, I realized I have far too many words for this little cardboard square to handle. There are so many things I want to tell them tonight…….
Finn and Pax,
I took a day trip to Fort Lauderdale today. I didn’t think you’d even notice I left, but Mom told me Pax was really upset that I wasn’t home this morning. Something about him sitting on the stairs pouting and shouting nonsense. This story was equal parts hilarious and sad….I just wish I had a video clip of it!
This is a special trip for me. Not special like all my Middle East trips, Southeast Asia trips, NYC trips, or the ones where I get to experience once-in-a-lifetime events. Special because tomorrow I am going to leave my job.
I wish I could tell you that adults don’t get scared. I wish I could tell you everything always works out exactly the way we think it will. I wish I could tell you it’s always easy to make the decision you know in your heart is right. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. Most things worth pursuing in this life are going to be scary, it’s not going to go exactly how you think it will, and it’s not going to be easy. Honestly, though, that’s what makes life awesome!
If I were to make a different decision tomorrow, life would probably look a lot different for us. Money would never be an issue for us. We would never go without. We could buy you everything the world says you deserve. We could go on amazing and exotic vacations. We could live the life so many believe is the recipe for happiness and the definition of success.
But here’s the truth: you deserve better than all of this. You deserve better than a big house, fancy cars, a private education, mountains of gifts, and exotic vacations. Here’s what you deserve:
You deserve a father who is fully present, fully patient, and fully loving. I will never be perfect, but I promise to be the best version of me I can be.
You deserve to see what it looks like for a man to boldly follow God’s calling in his life, no matter how scary or counter-cultural it may seem.
You deserve to learn money doesn’t buy happiness, but rather happiness comes from love, faith, and contentment.
You deserve to witness what it looks like to follow your dreams, live with passion, and trust that God is ultimately in control.
You deserve to see (and feel) first-hand what sacrificial generosity in the face of financial uncertainty looks like.
You deserve to experience what a united mom and dad team can accomplish if they honor God and honor each other.
You deserve the freedom and encouragement to find your gifts, talents, and passions, and learn how to use them to serve God’s kingdom.
Lastly, you deserve someone in your life who will model these behaviors and decisions with their actions, not just their words.
Someday when you’re old enough, I hope you’re proud of me. I hope you see how God worked through this decision and this situation. I hope a time comes in your life – a scary and important time – when you too get to make a decision that will forever change the trajectory of your life. Not a decision for the pursuit of worldly wealth, or power, or respect, but rather a decision for the pursuit of God, your dreams, and your passions.
I love you guys, and believe it or not, you inspire me more than I will ever be able to inspire you. Thank you for that!
Daddy
“If I were to make a different decision tomorrow, life would probably look a lot different for us. Money would never be an issue for us. We would never go without. We could buy you everything the world says you deserve. We could go on amazing and exotic vacations. We could live the life so many believe is the recipe for happiness and the definition of success. But here’s the truth: you deserve better than all of this. ”