Playing the Long, Long....Long Game

As my kids are heading into first grade next week, they are in this sweet spot where they are just getting into reading. They are fascinated with it, but aren't yet fully proficient. Out of sheer curiosity, they try to read just about everything. TV tickers, nutrition labels, shirts in public (this one is dangerous), highway signs.....everything.

The other day, out of the blue, Finn looked over at me and said, "Dad, when I'm bigger, I'm going to read your blog." It was a brief but touching moment for me. The idea he likes to read makes me happy, but the idea he wants to read my writing is profoundly special.

Over the last several years, I've published hundreds of thousands of words, nearly a hundred hours of audio, and countless videos. I create this content for those I wish to serve (including you!). I genuinely want to help people, add value to their lives, and play a positive role in their journeys. However, there's a secondary motive behind what I do. Someday, when I'm buried in the ground, my work will still be here for people to use and enjoy.

I often think about how fast our world is moving. I'm still pretty young, but I grew up in an entirely different technological era. I have a limited amount of grainy home video footage and a few hundred pictures. That's it. When those who came before me pass, I'll still have my memories, but nothing concrete. Several years ago, my paternal grandfather wrote a self-published book about his life. Now that he's gone, that book has become much more special in my life. It's something I can read and re-read for decades to come.

But my kids will have an entirely different future regarding content and memories. Someday, they may stumble upon a blog post, YouTube video, or podcast episode where I talked about them. It's like a digital time capsule that the weather can't destroy. These are memories, stories, wisdom, and tributes, cemented in time.

Someday, when Finn is "bigger," I hope he types my name into whatever search engine runs the world at that time. When he does, oh the treasures he will find! Each written word, snippet of audio, and video clip will be there to meet him where he's at. No matter how much good comes from my work, or if it happens to change the world, there will be no greater joy than to have my kids someday receive what I've left behind. I'm playing the long, long, long game.

If this post made you think about your own life (and those who come after you), let it serve as an inspiration and motivation to create. What you create is up to you, but just create. Put something into the world that you'll be proud of for people to discover and enjoy for decades to come. By the way, if you don't think you have something worth sharing, you're wrong. It matters!

Because That's What We Do

Yesterday's episode was our 245th installment of the Meaning Over Money podcast (Spotify / Apple). With an average run time of 17 minutes per episode, that equates to nearly 70 hours of free content. Not only is it free, but it's evergreen content that can be consumed by people for years and decades to come. Yesterday's episode was somewhat unique, though. It's completely raw and unedited. No intro/outro, no sound-improving filters, no balancing out the dips and peaks, no cutting my f-bombs (just kidding....or am I?). It's just me, my microphone, and some ideas.

Given our crazy schedules this summer, our episode pipeline has completely dwindled, and we're making it work as we go. Thus, yesterday the world received a raw and unedited episode. It's not the first time we released an unedited episode. We've probably published +/- 8 in the history of our podcast. We don't prefer this type of content; we'd much rather send a manicured product into the world. But there's one very key reason why we do it. Because that's what we do. A new episode will be released every Monday and Wednesday, 52- weeks per year, with no exceptions.

The first time we posted this kind of content, I was nervous. After all, it's not the product we want to send into the world. However, our commitment is two episodes per week.....period. Because that's what we do. We aren't sending crap into the world. In fact, some of our unedited episodes have been some of the most complimented and commented on. We could easily justify not publishing an episode one week, then do it again a few months later. Next thing you know, not publishing episodes is just a normal part of our rhythm. Cole and I are the opposite. We publish episodes because that's what we do. We are here to add value to the world. Not because it's perfect, but because it matters. And done is always better than perfect.

Here's my encouragement today. Find something in your life - and I have a feeling you already know what it is - that becomes your "because that's what we do." No excuses, no walk-backs, no justifications. It is what it is because that's what it is. When you decide to follow through, no matter what, it will change you. It's changed me many times over, and I have a feeling it will be equally powerful in your journey!

A Price Tag on Legacy?

I was talking to someone the other day about big-picture financial goals. This topic often produces some interesting ideas, but there are a few responses I hear over and over. This particular man uttered an all-to-common phrase, "Leave a legacy for my kids." And by legacy, he meant millions of dollars dumped into his children's laps. I know this for two reasons: 1) that's typically what this phrase means in modern America, and 2) he clarified and said it means leaving his kids millions of dollars.

This phrase is common, especially for Christians, for one big reason: it's frequently discussed, advocated for, and glorified by one of the nation's top financial personalities. I hear this phrase multiple times per week, and it usually goes hand-in-hand with similar concepts, such as creating generational wealth, eliminating the need for your kids to work, and giving your kids more than you had. I get a queasy feeling just typing that.....

In a recent podcast episode, Cole and I talked about the idea of leaving our children a bunch of money one day. I made a comment that created more buzz than I had anticipated. I said I didn't believe in leaving large sums of money to my kids. Instead, most of what we have will either be given away upon our death or put into a charitable trust where my kids will manage its longer-term distribution. There are two primary reasons for this perspective. First, it's not my money to begin with. If I believe all I have is God's, which I do, then I don't own it......my job is merely to manage it while I'm here. If that's true, what makes me think I should pass it down to my kids instead of blessing and serving others? Second, I think my kids deserve better than to have their drive and ambitions chopped off at the knees by a big pot of money. They deserve the opportunity to carve their own path, pursue work that matters, and use their unique gifts and talents to create an impact on this world. A big pot of unearned money can quickly zap this from them in a heartbeat. Yes, it's possible that a large sum of money could help in their endeavors. It's also true that I could successfully rob a nearby convenience store, but it's probably not a good idea to try. Behavioral science, statistics, and my own experience working with countless families tell me there's a higher probability for downside than upside.

Want to leave a legacy for your kids? That's awesome, me too!!! I just define legacy differently than a big pile of cash. For me, legacy is about character, faith, generosity, humility, impact, and service to others. Money factors zero into this. If my kids have millions of dollars but not the traits listed above, my legacy is garbage. If my kids have limited financial means but possess these traits, I succeeded in the mission. You can't put a price tag on legacy.

Embrace the Dash

In yesterday’s post, I reflected on my grandpa’s legacy. It was through the lens of a long life, well lived. It’s somewhat simple to look in the rearview mirror to see what legacy was written over the course of decades. In general, the entire idea of legacy is assessed through the lens of what happened in the past, and the future-looking possibilities of what could come from it.

Last night, I attended our youth group’s grad banquet. This has been one of my favorite annual events for the ten years I’ve been in youth ministry. It’s a night of reflection, story-telling, laughs, and goodbyes. Though I will miss these students when they leave for their next chapter in the coming months, I’m always excited about what’s to come. So many choices. So many opportunities.

As the pastor shared at my grandpa’s gravesite service, all gravestones have two dates (beginning and end), with a dash between them. That dash represents all we do in life. The span between birth and death. While our date of birth and date of passing are notable milestones, the dash is what truly matters.

Graduation is where the dash comes to life for these teenagers. The slate is cleaned, the freedom is upon them, and a world of possibilities has opened up before their eyes. This is a terrifying yet amazing opportunity. Every day when we wake up, we get to choose. The world will tell us to stay in our little box, embracing common norms and expectations. Play it safe, be responsible, don’t make waves, and get to the other side in one piece. Sure, that’s one way to look at it. But here’s another: nobody gets out alive. Every day we wake up is another opportunity to explore what the dash means to us. You could certainly chase money, but that bank balance doesn’t get to follow you on the other side of the dash. Status? It doesn’t, either. Fancy titles? Nope, sorry. It’s funny how we so often pursue the very things that can’t come with us. It's like aggressively playing a game of Monopoly, eventually winning with a huge pile of cash and a collection of hotels, only to realize the game is over and it doesn’t really matter from here on out. Having this happen for a silly board game is one thing, but to have it happen for a lifetime? That’s a tragedy. That’s why the dash is so important.

For these high school grads, the journey has just begun. If I were to equate it to a basketball game, the high school grads are 30 seconds into the first quarter of life……they haven’t even broken a sweat yet. I wish the following for everyone, but I especially wish it for my young high school friends. Embrace the dash. Know how special it is and never take it for granted. This is your opportunity to carve your own path, create change, make a difference, and write your legacy. Embrace the dash!

Legacy Multiplies

I attended my maternal grandfather’s funeral yesterday. It was a great service and it meant a lot to spend the day with so many in my extended family. He was the third grandparent we’ve lost in the past 40 months.

Afterward, I decided to make a surprise visit to my 94-year-old paternal grandma at her assisted living home. I was the one who was about to be surprised, though. I knocked on the door, but no answer. So I worked my way around to the main entrance and found the main gathering space. I saw my grandma in the distance, and as I approached her, I realized I had just accidentally stumbled into a birthday party. My grandma told me I couldn’t leave, so I just took a seat and participated in the party. The two birthday kids were a 98-year-old man and a 101-year-old woman. Punch was enjoyed, gifts were given, stories were shared, and we ended with cake and ice cream. They even asked me to lead them in the singing of Happy Birthday. It was a real honor to be part of such a fun celebration.

** Fun Fact: 101 years ago was the first time a radio was installed in the White House…..and 98 years ago was the first time a presidential inauguration was broadcast over the radio.

I learned a lot about the two individuals being celebrated. I even had a chance to meet them before our time was done. Something stood out to me as I learned about the woman. She and her husband did really well for themselves. They never had kids, and instead used their time and money on worldwide travel and building various collections. I’m sure I’m grossly simplifying it, but that story stuck with me. Decades later, they were no longer able to travel, their collections and other possessions were sold off, and she was living in this facility with little to no family.

I think about my grandpa who we just celebrated yesterday. I’m not sure what his and Grandma’s specific finances looked like, but my sense is they had a very middle-class life. They lived relatively conservatively, my grandma stayed at home with their five kids, their travel was fairly simple, and they resided in the same house in a tiny 300-person town their entire adult lives. He left 5 kids, 13 grandkids, and 25 great-grandkids (with the youngest just entering the world a few weeks ago).

The idea of legacy is always on my mind, so you better believe these ideas were in hyperdrive yesterday as we said goodbye to my grandpa. Legacy doesn’t die. Legacy doesn’t just vanish from the planet when your time expires. Legacy lingers. Legacy is what remains long after you’re gone. Legacy isn’t what you take from the world, but rather what you give to it. It’s not what you want from something, but rather what you want for someone. My grandpa didn’t change the world, but he changed someone’s world. Many someones’ world. 5 kids, 13 grandkids, 25 great-grandkids (and counting), and soon the next generation. Will some of those people change the world? Maybe….maybe not. But I can promise you that each will change someone’s world. Legacy multiples.

The Grass Always Seems Greener

I’m not gonna lie. Pursuing meaning can be hard. A gut-wrenching, nail-biting, faith-testing, “why did I just do that?” kind of hard. Nowhere in the handbook does it tell us a life of meaning will be simple and stress-free. Whether it’s radical generosity, pouring yourself out for others, taking a counter-cultural path, doing something that’s never been done before, or facing a reality of reduced income, it can be brutally hard. Some of you are reading this and thinking this is the worst sales pitch for meaning you’ve ever heard. If all this is true, why would I still be such a champion for meaning? Because it’s worth it!

This month will be the four-year anniversary of leaving my prior career to begin my new endeavors. It’s been four of the hardest years of my life…..but also some of the most rewarding, productive, impactful, and important years. During that span, we’ve had multiple months (including recently) where there wasn’t enough monthly income to cover the bills. There are times the stress and obligations feel like too much to handle. Some days I wake up and wonder what in the world I’m doing. I think back to my old career (and the money that came with it) and wonder if life would be better had I just stayed. As a fun and somewhat depressing fact, I just realized I’ve left somewhere around $800,000 of income on the table over the past four years. When I think of it that way…..ouch!

Do I regret it? Not for a single moment. The grass always seems greener on the other side. Don’t get me wrong…..there is some vibrant, lush green grass on the other side. But some of it’s also dry, brown, and dead. We’re just so busy focusing on the one or two aspects we miss or yearn for, that we can’t see all the rest of it. Don’t worry, I do the same thing. But then I get little reminders that snap me back to a better perspective. Like this excerpt from a handwritten note I recently received from a former client:

“Because of your work, our family’s life has been changed forever.”

Wow! I got goosebumps when I read that one. I don’t think I deserve that much credit, but I’m grateful for their kind words. Someday, when we’ve taken our final breath, our legacy won’t be measured by dollars collected, professional titles and designations accumulated, or the possessions we leave behind. It will be measured by the impact we’ve made on this world and the difference we made in the lives of others. People won’t speak to what we did, but rather how we made them feel.

** I wrote this article for a handful of specific people, but I suspect a few hundred others will read it and also realize it was written just for them.

An Open Postcard to My Kids

To fully understand the context, this was written on 4/9/2019, on a bumpy plane ride, in the waning hours of a 22-hour work day. I was weary, excited, overwhelmed, scared, anxious, and probably half-awake. Despite all that, it’s my favorite thing I’ve ever written…..and it’s finally time to share.

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I travel a lot. Personal. Professional. Missional. I love traveling, but man do I ever miss my family when I’m gone!! I love the food, the hotels, and the sights…..but I miss the hugs, the giggles, and the snuggles. Seeing new things always gives me a rush, but nothing is compared to the rush of getting my kids out of bed each morning.

When I became a parent, I knew I would still be traveling a lot. I was ok with that, but I also wanted to find a way to show my kids they are always a priority. Since the very first time I had to leave those cute little babies, I have made a conscious effort to get them a postcard from each and every city I’ve visited. I always write on the card to tell them how much I miss them, and perhaps share a funny story about something that happened to me on the trip. They are too young to understand these postcards right now, but someday I hope they come to cherish these little cardboard time capsules.

Tonight, I find myself on the way home from Fort Lauderdale. This trip wasn’t particularly eventful, aside from it being a day trip and I’ve been up since 3AM. What sets this trip apart is the fact I’m planning to resign from my career tomorrow. Stepping away from a job I’ve had for nearly 15 years. Walking away from the only thing I’ve known in my entire adult life. Not leaving some crappy, meaningless job. I’m leaving an amazing job that is probably one of the coolest jobs in the world. A job that I could only dream about back in my college days as an aspiring investment professional.

As I began writing on their postcard, I realized I have far too many words for this little cardboard square to handle. There are so many things I want to tell them tonight…….

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Finn and Pax,

I took a day trip to Fort Lauderdale today. I didn’t think you’d even notice I left, but Mom told me Pax was really upset that I wasn’t home this morning. Something about him sitting on the stairs pouting and shouting nonsense. This story was equal parts hilarious and sad….I just wish I had a video clip of it!

This is a special trip for me. Not special like all my Middle East trips, Southeast Asia trips, NYC trips, or the ones where I get to experience once-in-a-lifetime events. Special because tomorrow I am going to leave my job.

I wish I could tell you that adults don’t get scared. I wish I could tell you everything always works out exactly the way we think it will. I wish I could tell you it’s always easy to make the decision you know in your heart is right. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. Most things worth pursuing in this life are going to be scary, it’s not going to go exactly how you think it will, and it’s not going to be easy. Honestly, though, that’s what makes life awesome!

If I were to make a different decision tomorrow, life would probably look a lot different for us. Money would never be an issue for us. We would never go without. We could buy you everything the world says you deserve. We could go on amazing and exotic vacations. We could live the life so many believe is the recipe for happiness and the definition of success.

But here’s the truth: you deserve better than all of this. You deserve better than a big house, fancy cars, a private education, mountains of gifts, and exotic vacations. Here’s what you deserve:

• You deserve a father who is fully present, fully patient, and fully loving. I will never be perfect, but I promise to be the best version of me I can be.

• You deserve to see what it looks like for a man to boldly follow God’s calling in his life, no matter how scary or counter-cultural it may seem.

• You deserve to learn money doesn’t buy happiness, but rather happiness comes from love, faith, and contentment.

• You deserve to witness what it looks like to follow your dreams, live with passion, and trust that God is ultimately in control.

• You deserve to see (and feel) first-hand what sacrificial generosity in the face of financial uncertainty looks like.

• You deserve to experience what a united mom and dad team can accomplish if they honor God and honor each other.

• You deserve the freedom and encouragement to find your gifts, talents, and passions, and learn how to use them to serve God’s kingdom.

• Lastly, you deserve someone in your life who will model these behaviors and decisions with their actions, not just their words.

Someday when you’re old enough, I hope you’re proud of me. I hope you see how God worked through this decision and this situation. I hope a time comes in your life – a scary and important time – when you too get to make a decision that will forever change the trajectory of your life. Not a decision for the pursuit of worldly wealth, or power, or respect, but rather a decision for the pursuit of God, your dreams, and your passions.

I love you guys, and believe it or not, you inspire me more than I will ever be able to inspire you. Thank you for that!

Daddy

“If I were to make a different decision tomorrow, life would probably look a lot different for us. Money would never be an issue for us. We would never go without. We could buy you everything the world says you deserve. We could go on amazing and exotic vacations. We could live the life so many believe is the recipe for happiness and the definition of success. But here’s the truth: you deserve better than all of this. ”