Tailgating Economics Don't Have to Make Sense

I've always been fascinated by college football tailgating. Growing up in NW Illinois, college sports weren't really a thing. It was Bulls, Bears, Cubs, Sox, and Blackhawks. That's it. It wasn't until I was a freshman at Iowa State that I was exposed to the spectacle of tailgating.

Hundreds of thousands of people gathered in thousands of individual set-ups, circling a single stadium. If the game starts at 11AM, people start tailgating at 7AM. If the game starts at 2PM, people start tailgating at 7AM. And if the game starts at 6PM, people start tailgating at 7AM. There's busses, RVs, food, music, games, beverages, and even big-screen TVs broadcasting other games.

Needless to say, people spend an enormous amount of time, energy, and money to fulfill their tailgating endeavors. It's nothing short of astounding the lengths people will go to enhance their tailgate. I get exhausted just from

Seeing some people’s tailgates, and I'm not even the one investing the time, energy, or money. But they sure are fun!

I love asking people about their tailgates, which are as unique as fingerprints. Each group has its own traditions, food, games, rhythms, schedules, and habits. The key word there is tradition. Whenever you ask someone about their tailgate, their face lights up, and they share how, when, and why it all started (usually many years ago). Some people will tell you they've been doing the same thing in the same location for decades.

If we're honest, the economics of tailgating don't make sense. Many people I know spend as much on tailgating each fall as most families spend on travel year-round. It can be expensive! It's not for everyone, but it's for many. People aren't ever going to justify the math on tailgating, but they will tell you as confidently as the grass is green, it's worth it. This is where the whole meaning over money concept comes into play. Not everything is about money. For some, they simply choose this because it matters.

At the heart of it, it's about something deeper. It's about people. Friends, family, co-workers, neighbors. It's an investment in relationships. It's a way to share experiences and create memories.

I'm grateful for anyone who has ever invited me to their tailgate. It's an opportunity I never take for granted. It's not something I ever aspire to recreate with our own family (especially at the scale many do it), but man, it sure is fun. I have many fond memories of sharing those experiences with people I care about. If that's you, just know I'm grateful!

My Cyclones may have lost yesterday, but the memories I created will last a lifetime.

"Travis, I Think I Messed Up."

I come to you today with a heartbreaking story. A man recently reached out to me after discovering some of our content. He said he was embarrassed to share it, but thought "maybe good can come from it." While the story is heartbreaking (my words, not his), it's all too common in our culture. "Travis, I think I messed up." That's how his message started.

In short, here's the situation. This man is approaching 50 years old, lives in the suburbs of a major US city, has two teenage kids, and has a lucrative career. His approach to work and money was simple. Make as much money as quickly as possible, so he can spend more time with his family and provide them with the life they "deserve."

Year after year, decade after decade, that's exactly what he did. He worked hard, provided financially, and raced toward this perceived finish line where he'll be able to spend more time with his family and give them the riches they deserve. One problem. In just two short years, he'll be an empty-nester.

As he so clearly and painfully puts it, "I missed it. I missed being a dad." While he was busy providing materialistic goodies for his family and endeavoring to create future freedom to spend more time with them, he simply wasn't present. He literally missed their childhoods. Today, instead of priceless memories, he has deep regret.

He now sees the irony of his approach. In his effort to get more time with his family, he was absent. He thought more money was the needed ingredient to create time with his family. Now he realizes more time was the secret to more time. It was right there in front of him, and he missed it.

Now, he has a lot of resources. He'll be able to retire in a few years and do whatever he wants. That sounds great....the American dream! Except what he wants more than anything is to spend time with his kids. Unfortunately, they are heading to college soon, creating their own lives, starting their own careers, and building their own families.

Money isn't the answer. Money can't create meaning. Money can't provide us with something that fills us up and delivers deep fulfillment. The sad truth is that money is often the thing that pulls us away from the meaning. It robs us of what we're genuinely looking for.

He wanted me to share this story with you today, hoping that even one person heeds his example. If so, it won't be for nothing. I feel for this man, and I feel for so many others who fall into this trap. Don't fall for it. You deserve better than this. Please don't let this man's story be for nothing. I know I won't.

"Do I Have to Like My Job?"

I receive this question often, but it felt particularly loaded when I recently received it from a man in Germany. He reached out via a DM on Instagram. There was a bit more context involved, but in short, he wanted to know the following: "Do I Have to Like My Job?"

I regularly reference a staggering statistic on this blog and the podcast. 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs. I hoped these last few years would help shift these numbers, but new data indicates it's more of the same. According to Gallup's latest numbers, 69% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs. In Europe, where this man resides, it's much, much worse. According to Gallup's recent study, 87% of Europeans dislike or hate their jobs. That's nearly 9 out of 10 adults across the entire continent. Holy crap!!! That's a staggeringly sad statistic.

My message to this man is two-fold. First, you're not alone. Most people in my country and his country don't like their jobs. What he's experiencing is quite normal, unfortunately. It doesn't make him evil, or stupid, or a failure. For as much as I can tell, he's quite successful and has a good life.

No, we don't have to like our jobs. We can live a quality life without liking our jobs. Tens of millions of Americans and Germans alike do it every day. It's indeed possible to dislike or hate our job but still have a meaningful life. Our jobs don't define us, and there's more to life than work.

However, and this is a big however. You deserve better than a job you dislike or hate. I think you deserve better than to wake up in the morning and dread what you're about to do. If you spend more than half your waking hours doing something you tolerate or hate, I'm sorry. If you can't wait until Fridays, then get depressed about Mondays, I'm so sorry! If you spend decades racing as fast as you can to reach the finish line and retire so you can "finally enjoy life," I'm sorry.

No, we don't have to like our jobs. Hundreds of millions of people don't like their jobs. It's the normal way to live life. There's nothing inherently wrong with it. On the other hand, I think this man deserves better, I think you deserve better, and I think I deserve better. We have but one life to live. As such, I think we deserve to wake up each day knowing we're about to do something that matters. If we're going to spend half our waking hours away from our family, we deserve to do something that fills our bucket and matters to us.

This is my wish for this man, and it's my wish for you. Whatever you're doing today, I hope it matters to you. You deserve that.

Buy That Coffee

It's been a week. Today will mark my seventh consecutive day working at my client's office in Midland, TX. I've really enjoyed the work, and the people, but I'm spent. I've really poured myself out this week, and we've made some massive progress along the way. All in all, it's been a tremendously worthwhile endeavor. 

Yesterday, in an effort to give myself a much-needed kick-start, I stopped for a coffee on the way to the office. As I was paying the cashier, all I could think about was all the financial gurus shaming and belittling people for buying coffee. 

**In my best condescending financial bro impersonation voice** "Did you know that instead of spending $6 on that coffee each workday, if you invested it in the stock market, you'd have $220,000 in your investment account after 30 years? I hope you enjoy your coffee!!!"

A few thoughts:

1. The math is correct. 

2. $220,000 is a lot of money.

3. That coffee really made my morning.

4. Life is about so much more than a financial equation.

5. Meaning over money.

6. I'm not going to feel one ounce of guilt.

As a finance guy, I could obsess about hoarding every penny I earn, investing it well, and watching it compound into millions of dollars so that one day I can swim in it like Scrooge McDuck. But that sounds terrible. 

I'm not advocating reckless financial irresponsibility. I'm not suggesting we shouldn't save or invest. Rather, I'm suggesting that we shouldn't give up little things that add value to our lives. If you love buying coffee each day, but that coffee. If you love going to your fancy gym, go to your fancy gym. If you love eating at excellent restaurants, bon appetit. 

There's always a place to sacrifice, but it doesn't have to be what others tell us it should be. It's sad to watch clients reluctantly give up something that adds value to their life simply because everyone around them is slowly but surely guilting them into it. At some point, we convince ourselves that what we're doing is wrong or stupid. But in many cases, it's not. We're exactly where we should be. 

I'm really glad I bought that coffee yesterday. I just may do the same today. Or not. Either way, I won't sweat the things that add richness to my life. There are plenty of places to sacrifice.....this won't be one of them. 

The Reminders We Don't Want

On Saturday, during the busiest day of the week, our Northern Vessel coffee shop experienced what could have been the most tragic of situations. A car, stolen earlier that morning, barrelled into the side of our shop at full speed. It first struck a customer standing out front, sending him through the main window and down into the basement (the cavern being exposed due to the impact).

At the same time, two of our full-time staff members and a loyal customer were sitting on the built-in bench with their backs against the glass window. Upon impact, as the bench was dislocated (exposing the basement where the outside passenger fell), these three individuals began to retreat and were thrown across the room.

Miraculously, nobody sustained life-threatening injuries. In the aftermath, as the team looked around the room, now covered in glass and blood, it was a harsh reminder of how delicate our lives are. One minute we are enjoying a sunny weekend afternoon sipping a coffee while hanging with friends, and the next minute all hell breaks loose. We often take for granted how special this opportunity of life is.

I've been debating all week about whether I should write about this situation. My gut initially said no, but something else happened. Well, two something elses. One of my team members experienced an unfathomable tragedy in her life last week. That's not my story to tell, but it's a story that makes me weak in the knees just thinking about it. And just two days ago, a team member at one of my clients also experienced a tragedy that's hard to wrap my head around.

To be honest, I've had a hard time processing all of this. Life happens, because life always happens. But these are hard pills to swallow. These are the reminders we don't want. Reminders about how someone you care about so much can be gone in a heartbeat. Reminders about how unpredictable this life can be. Reminders about how meaningless money, status, and stuff are in the big picture. Sure, we need to handle our finances well and care for ourselves. Absolutely. But when push comes to shove, 99.9% of us would give up all the money in the world to be with those we love. But in the repetitive rhythm of our lives, it's easy to forget that. We quickly find ourselves fixating on something a bit more superficial.

This is why meaning over money is so important. Life is too delicate, too short, and too special to focus on the money. Hug your loved ones, create memories, and always live for the meaning.

The Power of (Actually) Shared Experiences

One of my favorite past times is sharing a meal with friends: good company, good drinks, good food, and good conversation. When I look back on some of my favorite memories, it usually revolves around a shared meal. However, there's one problem. In the U.S., we don't actually share in the dining experience. You enjoy your meal, Mary enjoys her meal, Bob enjoys his meal, and I enjoy my meal. We have an experience together, but it's not a truly shared experience. We may be sitting at the same table, but depending on our specific order, we're each having a unique and siloed experience.

This has always bugged me, especially when order regret sets in. You know what I'm talking about. The server brings the dishes out and delicately places each one in front of the person who ordered it. You look at yours, then at your neighbor's, and realize you wish you ordered what they did.....it's the worst feeling!

All this dining angst came to a head when I made my first trip to Asia in January 2016. Sarah and I were invited to fly across the world so I could interview for a board position. Our first night rolls around, and it's time for dinner. I'm eagerly anticipating this meal, as I love unique food, and it's my first time eating Asian food in Asia. I'm totally geeking out, while at the same time nervous. What will I order? What if I make the wrong choice? What if I accidentally order something I don't like? There are so many things to eat....how do I pick just one? I'm weird, I know.

But as we get settled into our seats and it's time to order, something weird happens. My friend Rob just started ordering. He asks if anyone wants anything in particular, then continues to order more. A while later, food starts coming out. The plates, platters, and bowls are haphazardly set wherever there is space to house it. Then, the good part. Everyone starts serving themselves from each of them. You know, like you do at home with your family. You know, a truly shared experience. It was an amazingly fun experience. I tried maybe 15 different dishes that night, and each person at the table also experienced those same 15 dishes. It was a shared dining experience we don't often get here in the States.

An example of a truly shared experience meal. Notice the massive lazy suzan to efficiently share with each other. This picture makes me hungry!

From that point on, it changed how Sarah and I experience food when we go out to eat. She orders something, and I order something, then we share. As our kids have grown, we've expanded that experience. Each person will choose a menu item, and we request the servers to set all of them in the center and provide some extra plates. Then, we have our fun shared experience.

It's been a beautiful shift for our family. It adds an entirely new dynamic, excitement, and bonding. There's so much meaning in shared experiences, and I encourage everyone to seek them out whenever possible.

"What In the World Am I Doing?"

"What in the world am I doing?" These were the words spoken by a close friend who was feeling extraordinarily stressed by his work. It was a redundant question, but these words hit home for me. I, too, have these exact same moments. What in the world am I doing!?!?

He knows what he's doing, of course. He knows exactly what he's doing, and it's awesome. He's making a massive impact on this world, and his work provides him a ton of meaning along the way. This is the thing about work that matters. It's not necessarily fun. It can be, but only some of the time. Other parts of the work can be tremendously challenging. It can occasionally wreak havoc on us mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Not because the work is bad or unhealthy, but because work that matters is rarely easy. It forces us to push ourselves, take the road less traveled, and go against the grain. Living in discomfort, aggressively pursuing something we are called to do, and fighting through the many challenges just comes with the territory. It's hard, but so, so beautiful.

My friend went on to say that though he wishes he didn't feel this way, it's a sign that he's exactly where he needs to be. There is an alternate reality where he lives an easier, less stressful, more comfortable life. I know this, and he knows this. But never in a million years would he trade this for that alternate life. His "why" is too big, the stakes too high, and the impact potential too grand. Thus, he will persevere and the adventure will continue.

Perhaps I'm not making the best case for pursuing work that matters. It's far from perfect and often quite uncomfortable. On the flip side, I don't want to paint an unrealistically rosy picture of a fun-filled, easy-going, stress-free life. Context matters and candor is key.

But here's the promise I can make you: it's worth it. Work that matters is always worth it. If you've found it in your life, congratulations on being in rarified air. Don't ever take it for granted or let it go. If you haven't found it.....yet......the search is not over!

The Beauty of (Some) Bad Financial Decisions

I have a confession: I might soon make a bad financial decision. Mathematically, it's not the right thing to do. It won't increase my net worth. It won't improve my monthly cashflow. It won't lead to the betterment of my family's financials over the long term. It's a flat-out bad financial decision. If that's true, and I know it's true, why on earth would I entertain such a decision? Because not everything is about money. Not everything in life is about optimizing for money's sake. We aren't little robots whose job is to crunch numbers and make the best mathematical decision at every point along the way.

Here's an example. I regularly argue that owning a house is often a bad financial decision. Hot take, I know. I've dug into the numbers to make my argument in the past, and I'm sure I'll do it again soon. But I'm firmly in the camp that owning a house is frequently a bad mathematical decision. However, I always follow that statement up with, "......but it may be the best life decision." I'm pro-home ownership, but not for mathematical reasons. For many people, home ownership represents something far deeper. Whenever a coaching client says they want to buy a house, I show them the math to prove why it may not be a good mathematical decision......then will often encourage them to buy the house anyway. It's not always about math and money. Sometimes it's about something deeper.....far deeper.

Where it goes awry for people is when they make a decision because they think it's a good financial decision, only to discover it's anything but. Those are the situations that burn people. On the flip side, when people know a particular decision is a poor financial decision, but know it's still the right decision to make, it can be a real blessing. This self-awareness makes all the difference in the world.

So yeah, I might make a bad financial decision. It's too early to tell, but it's on the table. If I do, it's because the non-financial aspects of the decision outweigh the financial ones. In the world of meaning over money, this is the meaning part. Always meaning over money.

A Good Day's Work

Have I ever mentioned how much I love work? Not because it's fun (it's often not), but because it matters. There's something really fulfilling about waking up in the morning, serving people well, using our gifts and talents, and coming home knowing we gave it everything we had. Yesterday was a perfect example of it:

• 4:45 AM: Woke up in Midland, TX, and made my way to the airport.

• 7:00 AM: Flight to Houston.

• 9:00 AM: Tour of my client's dry ice manufacturing facility and meetings with their team.

• 1:30 PM: Drive to the Houston airport.

• 3:00 PM: Flight back to Midland.

• 4:30 PM: In the office to continue making headway on our project.

• 7:30 PM: Dinner with my client.

• 9:00 PM: Back to the hotel

It was a 16-hour whirlwind. Not what I would do every day, but it was an amazingly satisfying day. I was completely exhausted, but I felt great as the day wrapped up! I laid my head on the pillow knowing I did something worth doing. 

There was a season in my life where I might have thought to myself, "Ugh, I can't believe I'm still working." Now, It's an honor. Work isn't something we have to do.....it's something we get to do. Whenever we work, we serve people (co-workers, bosses, employees, customers, etc.) and add value to their lives. It's not always fun, but it matters. 

Work matters. Even if you're not at your dream job, your work still matters. Even if you're not working a ton of hours, your work still matters. Even if it feels like your job kinda sucks, your work still matters. Even if you’re working in a different industry than you’d like, your work still matters. Even if you're in an entry-level job, your work still matters. Please don't ever demean your role and the value you add to this world. It matters. It's a blessing to be able to work, and not everyone is physically and mentally healthy enough to do that. If you are, be grateful. It's a gift. 

Who Are You Going to Offend?

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, the 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays of the year. There are so many things to love about it. However, there's one fringe benefit of the holiday that I look forward to each year. The social media outrage that bubbles up in the days leading up to it, ranting and raving about people setting off their personal fireworks. This sort of outrage has existed in various forms over the years, but it now prominently lives in community Facebook groups. This year's outrage did not disappoint. Multiple times each day, someone took to Facebook to air their grievances. Their justification for their outrage ranged from practical, to questionable, to outlandish. It was nothing short of spectacular!

Reading these threads reminds me of a piece of advice I received many years ago: "You will always offend someone, so you might as well live your values and offend the right people." This advice felt applicable 20 years ago, but it's more relevant today than ever. Unfortunately, everything we do, even when well-intentioned, will offend someone. Whenever I receive online hate - which happens far more than I'd like to stomach - I ask myself if I'm offending the right people. It's so easy for us, in an effort to people please, to offend those we are most trying to serve. When I can objectively look at the criticism and know it's coming from the right people for the right reasons, it somewhat eases the discomfort.

We often hold ourselves back from doing what we know we need to do, in part, because we don't want to offend anyone. I've watched many people around me fall into this trap, and I'm ashamed to admit I have, too. I broke free from this fear a few years ago, but I still find myself holding back on certain topics/ideas out of fear of the backlash. Every time I get over myself and go for it, I inevitably offend someone.....but it's usually the right someone.

When I think about this idea of offending people, I always try to remember there is never ill intent. My objective isn't to offend someone. In fact, I'd love to find a way to do my work without offending people. Unfortunately, that's just not a feasible expectation. There's always someone who will be offended by me....and by you.

The sooner we realize we're always going to offend someone, the sooner we can move past it and make the impact we know we're called to make. So today I ask you, who are you going to offend?

Five Margaritas Deep

My friend Kelsey sent me a meme the other day. Given our dozens of conversations about work and meaning, she knew I would get a kick out of it. Here's what it said: "I don't have a dream job because I don't dream about working. I dream about being 5 margaritas deep on a Caribbean island." 

It definitely gave me a good laugh! Someone probably made it to be tongue-in-cheek, but the best jokes are rooted in truth. First, let's get something straight. I love being five margaritas deep on a Caribbean island as much as the next person.

Work gets a bad rap in our culture. It's a means to an end, a necessary evil, something we do because we have to do it. From the time we are kids, work gets stigmatized. 

• We're made to work as punishment.

• Our earliest jobs are usually pretty crappy (two of mine were raking sand traps at 6AM in the summer and working in the cheese factory at 4AM on Sundays).

• If 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs, there's a high likelihood we watch at least one of our parents have a negative relationship with their work.

• We usually launch into adulthood with a bunch of debt, meaning we feel immediate pressure to find work to pay for the loan payments.

Every step of the way, we're learning and feeling that work sucks. With that context in mind, I get it! It makes sense why we would collectively view and treat work like a necessary evil.

Here's a different perspective of work I'd encourage you to think about. Work isn't something we have to do, but rather something we get to do. Not everyone is physically and mentally healthy enough to be productive.....it's a gift to have that ability. Work isn't just trading our time for money. It's an opportunity to use our skills, creativity, passions, experience, and influence to serve people. Serving customers, colleagues, and bosses. When we work, we add value to other people's lives:

• My kids get to enjoy an afternoon at the pool because the lifeguards are using their skills to keep watch and order. Without them, there is no pool.

• I shared a meal with a friend last night. Without the waiter and cooks, none of that would have happened. 

• My bike chain recently broke, and I took it to the shop. Without the team at my local bike shop, I wouldn't have a working bike to enjoy.

Maybe none of these examples are your dream job, but let's not lose sight of the value of work. It's not a necessary evil. It's an opportunity to make the world a better place. It's a chance for us to improve the lives of others. Yeah, we get to make some money along the way as well. That's awesome. But let's not demean the value of work in our lives. After all, that's what makes those "five margaritas deep on a Caribbean island" days so satisfying. 

The World Keeps Getting Smaller

Last week, I had the pleasure of guesting on an Australian podcast, It's Never About Money. I had the most wonderful time with their host, Joe Stephan. If this show sounds like something up my alley, it is! In fact, my Media Director introduced the idea of me appearing on their show by saying, "Travis, we just found the Australian Meaning Over Money!" She knew that would quickly get my attention!

After we first connected, they asked if I would personally do the initial discovery call so they could get a feel for who I am and how I present myself. During that conversation, Joe pointed out that they don't often have many Americans on their show....but have had a few. As he lists off a handful of names, he blurts out a name that stopped me dead in my tracks: "Gary Hoag from Colorado." Gary Hoag!?!? My friend, mentor, and brother, Gary Hoag?!?! I about fell out of my chair, but then it got even more interesting. "Yeah, I know Gary! He's one of my closest friends and mentors!" I then held up a copy of the book Gary and I wrote together last year, which was sitting just to my left on my desk. We both got a kick out of that moment.

The world feels small, and it's getting smaller all the time. The fact two total strangers could meet over Zoom, realize they have a common friend, record a podcast together, and build a relationship in the process, all while never being closer than 9,000 miles apart, is mind-boggling!!! I admire Joe and his work, and it's fun to see someone on the other side of the world that shares a common mission. I can’t wait to progress my relationship with Joe and discover new ways we can work together to add value to this world.

I think about this idea a lot. Never before has practically every person on the planet been accessible by practically every person on the planet. Right now, I could send Lebron James a DM, and he may see it. Instantly! Or maybe I have a business idea to share with Elon Musk. Five minutes from now, he could be digesting my idea. Or perhaps I'm interested in getting a job at XYZ company. I could immediately send a message to the CEO with an offer to add value to them. What a world we live in!

If there's something on your mind, put it into action. If there's a connection you'd like to make, send the DM. If there's an idea stirring, send it into the world. You never know who or what will happen. It's quite possible nothing will happen, but I can guarantee nothing will happen if you don't. So why not take advantage of this shrinking world? After all, it will be fun!

If you're interested in listening to my appearance on It's Never About Money, you can find it on APPLE, SPOTIFY, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Standard of Living vs. Quality of Life

One of my friends recently decided to downgrade his living situation. It was a difficult and humbling decision, but the right one for his current stage of life. In our discussion, he lamented how it's going to be hard having a lower standard of living. Reading between the lines, I could tell what he was really saying was that his life would inevitably become worse as a result of this decision. Embedded in his perspective is the belief that a higher standard of living increases happiness and a lower standard of living decreases happiness. While culture generally believes this to be true, I couldn't disagree more.

I think we're talking about two separate topics here: standard of living and quality of life. They are not the same!

Standard of living: "the degree of wealth and material comfort available to a person or community."

Quality of life: "the standard of health, comfort, and happiness experienced by an individual or group."

Sure, a higher standard of living can increase one's quality of life. If it's 90 degrees outside, having AC (vs. not having AC) leads to both a higher standard of living and quality of life. This is a true statement. Let's add a wrinkle. Let's say the introduction of AC requires the individual to take on a large loan with $400 monthly payments. Yes, the AC still cools the air and increases the standard of living, but did it improve the quality of life? This is where the rubber meets the road. There's a cost to every benefit. In this hypothetical, the person needs to give up something to increase their standard of living. Maybe they will give up their dining out, or their ability to buy clothes, or a trip they've been saving for, or they need to trade more of their time for additional income.

This tension point is where my friend is on his journey. The cost of his high standard of living is impairing his quality of life. He's had to make dramatic sacrifices in other areas of his life and endure undue stress just to maintain his higher standard of living, resulting in a lower quality of life.

Conversely, my current life is a reflection of the opposite. Today, I have one of the lowest standards of living in my 20-year adult life, but the highest quality of life in my 20-year journey. Our financial life is simple. We live in a simple house (which we rent), we drive simple cars, and we have simple monthly wants. This structure opens up the doors for us to travel as we please, give generously, say "yes" to weird things, and engage in work that matters. Standard of living and quality of life are correlated, but often inversely, ironically.

As you think about your situation, take an inventory of the various aspects of your life that enhance your standard of living, and ask yourself if they increase your quality of life. You might be surprised by the answers.

It Depends On How You Look at It

A few years ago, I was having a casual conversation with a fellow husband/father. We were talking about marriage and parenting, when we went down an interesting rabbit trail. He commented on how he and his wife hadn't been on an actual date in more than five years. Five years!?!? In short, he said they couldn't justify spending money on a babysitter. Between the babysitter, drinks, and dinner, a date night "is just too expensive to justify." So they don’t.

He quickly turned the tables on me by asking about our babysitter rhythm. I told him we spend about $200-$300/month on babysitting, which usually includes a few date nights. He looked at me as though I just went to the casino and threw my life savings on red. How irresponsible of me!!! He busted my chops a bit and couldn't believe someone "financially responsible" would throw away money like that.

He looked at babysitters as a needless cash drain. My perspective was a bit (ok, a lot) different. When we hire a babysitter, we aren't paying a young adult money to watch our kids. We are investing in our marriage. We are providing ourselves the opportunity to spend time together, one-on-one or with friends, and create memories aside from our children. It also allows us to recharge and get on the same page to be better spouses and parents. In other words, that babysitting money has an incredible return on investment!

Much of personal finance is a variation of this concept. It depends on how you look at it. Me walking into a Starbucks to order myself a burnt coffee = wasteful spending. Me meeting a youth group kid at Starbucks, their favorite coffee shop = an investment into my relationship with them. Me spending $60 on a monthly massage that I don't need = throwing away money. Me spending $60 on a monthly massage that helps recharge and eliminate aches = priceless. Me hiring an assistant isn’t cheap, and it takes money out of my pocket. Me hiring an assistant allows me more time and mental/emotional capacity to serve people better and unlock greater potential in our business.

Money is NEVER about money.....it's always about something bigger. If we can move past the dollars and cents and understand the real reason we do the things we do, we make better choices. It all depends on how you look at it.

Congrats on Not Getting the Job

One of my clients recently applied for a new job. It was an incredible job: higher status, more responsibilities, higher salary, a bigger bonus, better benefits......the whole nine yards. He didn't get it. He was in the final three, but lost out to someone else.

On the heels of this news, I sent him a text congratulating him on not getting the job. I'm so glad he didn't get it. It would have been a terrible job for him. Let me take a step back. He loves his current job. He wakes up every day excited for what he's about to do, loves his co-workers, has the flexibility for his family to live the life they live, believes in the mission, and makes a good living doing it. He's living his absolute best life, and his family has a great rhythm in how their life is structured.

So why did he apply for this new job, then? Frankly, he applied because that's what we're supposed to do. We're supposed to move up, make more money, garner more status, and manufacture a higher standard of living. Deep down, he knew he was already in the right place, but this was such a good opportunity!!!

After he received my unexpected congratulatory text, he immediately called me to process it. I explained to him how this new job, while paying better, would have negatively impacted many areas of his life. Less balance, more travel, a shift to work he doesn't enjoy, the loss of his work community, and a lot less flexibility to do the things his family enjoys doing.

His not receiving this job may be one of the best things that ever happened to him. He has a beautiful life, and money almost came before meaning. In hindsight, he's glad it didn't. The extra money would have been nice, but at what price?

There's absolutely nothing wrong with more money, but I believe you deserve better. So much better! I think you deserve to wake up every day excited for what you're about to do. Not because it's fun (it's often not), but because it matters. If it comes at the expense of a few fewer dollars, so be it. You deserve better than to put a price tag on your life. Your life is worth so much more than an annual salary or a status tied to your name.

Have a fantastic day!

The One Place....Yeah, That One

Question of the day: What’s that one place you want to travel to more than any other? Most people know the answer to this question, and you probably do, too.

A while back, I was talking to a client when the topic of travel was brought up. They revealed to me their absolutely biggest bucket list item is to travel to ________ (the place isn’t important….insert your imagination here). They’ve always dreamt of it, and they talk about it all the time, but they have no plans to ever do it. It’s not a money issue. The trip honestly wouldn’t cost too much money in the context of their financial situation. It just felt too big to actually be real.

In the conversation, I reminded them how they’ve spent many multiples of this trip in restaurants, clothes, toys, and other miscellaneous “want” categories over the last few years alone. In short, they’ve willingly (but accidentally) abandoned their biggest bucket list item in exchange for a lot of things they really don’t care about.

Then, I asked another question. “When are you going? Pick a day.” “It’s not that simple, Travis.” But it is. It is that simple. It’s that stinkin’ simple. We visually mapped it out on the whiteboard. They have the vacation time, they have the flexibility, and they certainly have the desire. We illustrated that if they were to save $_____ for the next 5 months (completely doable!!), the trip is paid for. Just like that!

Last night, I received a screenshot of a hotel reservation. They are doing it!!! They’ve waited 15 years to take this trip, and all it took was a little nudge and a lot of intentionality.

What’s your one place?

If Not, What's the Point?

One of my clients was recently considering making a somewhat major purchase……in the +/- $25,000 range. This is no small sum of money, and they fully recognize that. The particular item they were considering isn’t greatly important to this conversation, and I want you to use your imagination so you can put yourself in your shoes with whatever type of item might be in your life.

On one hand, they recognize the value this item would bring to their life. Time spent with their kids, intentional time away from the house, and creating new memories. On the other hand, it’s $25,000 they would be disconnecting from their broader plan, and it would most certainly “hurt” them financially. The math says this is a bad decision, as math usually does. However, buying this item isn’t reckless and won’t materially impair them.

After discussing, here' was my opinion. Of course they should buy it!!! If not, what’s the point of all this? To me, this is the easiest yes of all time. They’ve been trying (successfully) to steward their resources well, live responsibly, explore generosity, and create memories with their kids. Mission and memories! This family is modeling what it looks like to view and handle money in a healthy way…..I hope it’s contagious with others in their circle.

Ultimately, they didn’t need me to tell them to do it. I think they knew deep down this was the right thing to do, and they are doing it! This is one of the things I love about this couple. It’s never about money…..because money is never about money. Meaning over money, always.

Do you have something like this in your life and have actually pulled the trigger? Or maybe you know what it is, but have hesitated to follow through? Would love to hear your stories! Please hit reply or drop a comment below. Have an awesome day!

5 Simple Steps to Avoid Criticism

After seeing the most recent of a long string of public criticisms of me and my work, a friend reached out and asked why I would continue to do things that result in criticism. After all, being ridiculed, demeaned, and ripped apart is never an enjoyable experience. I’ve thought a lot about this, and have come up with a simple 5-step plan to avoid criticism:

1. Always go along with the crowd. Be mindful of what most people are doing, and just endeavor to blend. That’s the first and best step to avoiding criticism. Never mind if what they are doing is the right thing. That doesn’t matter if you want to avoid criticism. When the cultural winds shift, eagerly and swiftly shift with them. Lock in and fit in.

2. Keep your mouth shut and your hands idle. It’s hard for people to criticize you if you don’t say (or do) anything to merit criticizing. This step is simple but powerful. You can’t screw up or ruffle feathers if you’re quietly sitting on your hands. Do nothing, say nothing, be happy.

3. Stop thinking of others. If you just live for yourself and act in your own self-interest, you’ll naturally avoid a lot of the risks associated with trying to help others. People won’t question your motives or your means, and you’ll have a much more peaceful day-to-day life. This is the easiest tip to follow.

4. Don’t bring new ideas to the table. Things have always been done a certain way, so that’s definitely how they should be done. Do not question, do not challenge, and do not seek a better way. The status quo is A-Okay.

5. Don’t tap into your unique gifts. Sure, you probably possess a unique set of skills and gifts. Things that seem easy to you, much to the bewilderment of many around you. Skills that help you thrive in various areas of life, while other people struggle with them. These are awesome and powerful things, but just push them down. You don’t want to look like you’re showing out or showing off, so keep it to yourself. People can’t ridicule what they don’t know exists.

There you have it, folks. 5 simple steps to avoid criticism. If you follow this helpful advice, you will probably avoid 90% of all criticism in life. Or……….you can go make an impact. The criticism you’ll surely receive isn’t fun, but it’s the entry price to doing something that matters.

“I Couldn’t Say No”

Me: “What’s new in your world?”

Them: “I got a new job!”

Me: “I thought you loved your old job.”

Them: “I did, but I got a $20,000 raise with this new job.”

Me: “That’s cool. Do you like the new job?”

Them: “No, not at all. But it was a $20,000 increase. I couldn’t say no.”

This was the beginning of what became a 30-minute conversation about their new job. In short, the job sucked. After all, they left a job that meant a lot to them. They believed in the company’s mission, they had developed many strong relationships, and they were doing the exact work they wanted to do in their career. But they left! Dumbfounded, brought the conversation back around to this idea of leaving their meaningful job for something they knew would be a worse fit. I asked a simple, but dumb question, “How much is your happiness worth?” It was clear they, too, thought this was a dumb question. “There’s no price tag for my happiness…..it doesn’t seem like something I could put a price on.” Yet, they just knowingly sold their happiness for $20,000. $20,000!?!? It’s safe to say they disagreed with my assessment of the situation. The conversation eventually moved on to something far less controversial and emotionally-charged……politics.

About 6 months later, this same person asked me to lunch. I was excited to catch up, but I quickly found out they had a very specific agenda in mind. They were absolutely miserable. The job sucked, they were stressed, getting sick more often, and their marriage was struggling. Needless to say, this whole trade-happiness-for-$20,000-per-year experiment wasn’t working out so well. They knew they had to do something, but weren’t sure what. We talked about aspirations, options, and possible next steps.

Fast forward several months, and this person has moved on to a different job. A job that better suits their skills, passions, and lifestyle. It pays a decent amount less, but they report a ton of happiness and fulfillment. There’s far less stress at home, they look forward to going to work each morning, and they have enough money to live a respectable life. In my book, they are winners. It’s a counter-cultural way to live, but it’s so, so worth it. Meaning over money…..always meaning over money.

Work That Matters: SAHM Edition

“So you just stay at home?” I was standing about 8 feet from Sarah when she was asked this question at a social gathering, but I could tell from the minute I looked at her eyes, that one hurt. We had recently become parents to twin boys. Considering her dream in life was to one day stay at home with her babies, she was in the midst of living her absolute dream. But in that moment, her confidence was wavering and the self-talk was starting to creep in. It wasn’t the first time she had received an innocent-sounding comment with an insult attached to it, but this one hurt just as much as the others.

Stay-at-home Moms receive a lot of this type of feedback. “Do you work or do you stay at home?” “Is your husband the only one who provides?” “When will you start working again?” People don’t typically mean to be insulting or demeaning when asking these questions. Far from it. However, baked into most is a perception of laziness, lack of accomplishment, and selling themselves short.

I knew this long before I became a parent, but it was affirmed time and time again after watching Sarah be a stay-at-home Mom for the first six years of our children’s lives. It’s really freaking hard! It’s an exhausting, never-ending, thankless job, with terrible hours, and the most unreasonable bosses on planet Earth. Frankly, I’m not sure how she did it. I can say with utmost certainty that I would never in a million years be able to stay at home with kids. It’s not for lack of want, but rather because I simply couldn’t handle it. No matter how hard my work was - and it was brutal at times - it paled in comparison to what Sarah dealt with at home. For that, I’m grateful.

Moms, you’re doing amazing work. You’re doing some of the hardest and most important work on the planet. You’re literally shaping the next generation, day in and day out. There’s no compensation tied to it, there’s no status that comes with it, and the hours can be brutal. In other words, this isn’t a job you can do well unless you find deep meaning and purpose in it. Considering this blog is called The Daily Meaning, this is my way of giving you a 3-minute standing ovation.

It may not always feel like you’re being recognized or seen, but your work and your love matter. My encouragement to you is this. The fruit of your labor isn’t obvious today, tomorrow, next month, or even next year. It won’t be seen for many years to come when your kids have spread their wings and are carving out their own paths in life. When they do, and as they do, that’s when you’ll truly see how all your difficult and amazing work has paid off.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms and grandmas out there! You’re doing amazing work and I’m grateful for you.