Maximize Your Life, Not Your Income

Career shifts are scary. They are an act of trust. We're leaving something familiar and transitioning to the unknown. When considering a career shift, conventional wisdom says we need to build up our future income until it meets or exceeds our current income, then jump ship. This advice is repeatedly and confidently bestowed by one of our culture's most prominent financial gurus.

I couldn't disagree more with this strategy. It's a form of anchoring. Whether we're currently making $50,000 or $500,000, we're told that's the hurdle. That's the threshold for success. We need to recreate this level of income in our new chapter of life. Why? What's the point? So we can live the very same lifestyle? So we can continue making the same amount of financial progress? Regardless of the answer, the point of this idea is to maximize our income. Culture is fine if we want to change jobs, but only if we continue to make as much money as possible.

Again, I couldn't disagree more. Instead of maximizing our income, I believe we should maximize our lives. When I left my prior career nearly five years ago, our family took a 90% pay cut (when we had twin two-year-olds). That was one of the scariest things we've ever done. Not only did we not follow conventional wisdom, we blatantly disrespected it. People were quite unhappy with this decision. People who love me dearly. People who were terrified for our family's fate.

When Sarah and I made that switch, not only could we not maintain the same lifestyle and financial progress as before, but we literally didn't make enough income to pay our monthly bills. It took seven months to claw our way to a place where our monthly income was enough to pay for our basic needs. Again, that was terrifying!

The only reason we could physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and relationally do this is because we weren't trying to maximize our income. We were trying to maximize our life. And maximize we did! It was the hardest thing we've ever done but also the most rewarding. It allowed us to live with meaning, create impact, and unlock a richer life.

As I'm writing this, I'm thinking about several friends who desperately want to make career shifts. They are passionate and brilliant at their craft. They will surely change the world. Their future is brighter than the sun. Just one problem, though. They are falling for the lie. They have been led to believe their new income must match their current income before making the shift. They don't. That's ridiculous. Each of them could make the shift today, and their lives would immediately benefit (as would the lives of those whom they would subsequently serve with their gifts and passions). They don't even need to take a 90% pay cut. For most, it's 10%, 20%, or maybe even 30%. Small price to pay for a life of meaning and impact.

If you're reading this, you know who you are! Do it! This is your time!

The Kids Feel It

There's one statistic that lives rent-free in my head. I've mentioned it multiple times on this blog, in the podcast, and in my keynote talk. According to a Gallup poll, 70% of Americans dislike or hate their job. It's actually higher than 70% since they recommissioned the study post-COVID, but 70% is a nice round number and rolls off the tongue. 7 out of 10 Americans!!! It's bonkers. It's also normalized in our culture. Not only is it ok to perpetually hate our work, but we believe that's how it's supposed to be.

Do you know who doesn't find it acceptable? Our kids. In fact, they profoundly feel the impact of our work. We parents might think our kids are isolated from the realities of our work, but that's a naive notion.

I first became aware of this dynamic when I began my tenure as a youth group leader. Without fail, kids would constantly bring up their parents' work (and rarely in a good way). When this happened, the conversation didn't revolve around how it impacted the parent. Instead, it was about all the ripple effects impairing the family. The parent is always in a bad mood. The parents were stressed and fighting. A parent is always working and doesn't have time for their kids. So many deeply woven implications.

This post, however, was inspired by a different sort of conversation I recently had. I was talking to a seven-year-old. It was a silly, meandering conversation, as often happens with first-graders. Then, this little boy randomly dropped a different sort of comment as his smile vanished. "My mom is really stressed at work. I don't like seeing her like this all the time. I just wish she would get a new job."

I don't know this kid's parents. I've never met them. But the look on his face spoke volumes. A few more comments were solemnly shared about this situation, and then the conversation suddenly shifted back to fart jokes and superheroes.

Parents, our kids deserve better than this. We can try to hide our work reality from our children, but it leaks into every area of life. This makes sense. If we spend half our waking hours living somewhere between mere tolerance and absolute disgust, it inevitably shows through.

There's one other consequence. If 70% of us parents dislike or hate our job, and if it truly does leak into the other areas of life (which our kids see and feel), it creates a generational implication. We are raising our children to believe work is an inherently bad thing, a necessary evil. It's something we have to do, and it sucks. It's supposed to suck. I'm watching this dynamic play out in real-time with youth group kids, former youth group kids, and fellow parents. Our culture is completely polluted by the idea that work is bad. It's a shame.

This piece isn't my condemnation of parents. Rather, it's a rallying cry. Your kids deserve better. But first, you deserve better!

Not All Roses and Sunshine

I'm sad to report it's not been all roses and sunshine here in Nissan 350Z-ville. I wish I could tell you I've been happily cruising around in my sweet new (to me) ride for the last few weeks, but that hasn't been the case. 

Shortly after bringing the car home from Texas, I took it to my trusted mechanic to address some known issues (and inspect it for the unknown). It was a mixed bag of results, but all was well....or so I thought. I reunited with the car the following day, excited to run my list of errands (top down, of course). 

Less than one hour after picking it up, something happened.....and by something, I mean the car wouldn't start. Oh crap! I pulled into the post office to check my PO box. Two minutes later, I couldn't get the car to start. It was dead dead. Crap crap! After some failed troubleshooting, my mechanic hired a tow truck to make the drive of shame to his shop (where it would have to sit over the weekend before getting a formal diagnosis). 

Long story short, a little piece of rubber in the clutch wore out. The car is 18 years old, and I suppose that's what happens to things after nearly two decades of life. This little piece of rubber, the size and shape of a Lifesaver, notifies a sensor that the clutch is pressed and it's ok to start the car. When the dumb little Lifesaver broke, my car didn't think I had the clutch engaged. Thus, it wouldn't even turn over. 

I'm glad it was a minor issue, but it wasn't cheap. The entire process took six days (it was hard to get a new Lifesaver) and $200 (including the tow). Ouch! 

This isn't a sob story—far from it. I'm blessed to have this car, and we sign up for this when we own vehicles. It's not all roses and sunshine. Things happen; life happens. I'm talking about cars, but I'm talking about far more than cars, too. Things happen; life happens.

Since there's nothing we can do to stop life from happening, we have two choices:

1. Allow life to beat us up, rip us apart, and cause us much stress and turmoil. 

2. Anticipate life happening and be prepared to soften the blow(s).

In the financial world, this looks like sinking funds. I don't know when my car will break, or how much it will cost, but I know it's coming. Therefore, for the last 19 years, I've allocated money in my monthly budget for car repairs. Then, I literally move it to a special savings account for that purpose only. I uncreatively call that account "car fund." Subsequently, when (not if) my car breaks, the money is already set aside to pay for it. 

It turned my expensive week from a potential disaster to a minor inconvenience. It's not all roses and sunshine, but it doesn't have to feel like a downpour. What area(s) of your life do you need a sinking fund? They can change everything!

Elon Musk Today, Homeless Tomorrow

I had a great time catching up with an old friend yesterday. She had some questions about her new-ish business, and I was honored to spend some time with her. I was highly intrigued to hear about her journey of starting, growing, and evolving her young business. Regardless of what kind of business someone starts, I find that we business owners often experience similar situations.

Being a business owner can be brutal. So much weight is placed on their shoulders, there's very little security, and every time they think they have it figured out, the rules change. There's also something I like to call the "Elon Musk today, homeless tomorrow" phenomenon. Almost to a T, business owners connect with this idea. One day, we'll wake up and think we're going to take over the world like Elon Musk, and the next day, we'll wake up and wonder if we'll be homeless by sunset.

That sounds crazy, but if you're a business owner, you probably know exactly what I'm talking about. That's how volatile it can be (or at least feel). Some months, we feel like we have everything figured out, and the next, we wonder if we'll have enough income to meet our financial needs. It can be the most stressful, frustrating, mind-melting thing in the world.....

.....and it's awesome! There's something beautiful about having to figure it out each day, week, and month. If we perform, we get to feed our family. If we don't, well, we don't. There's a purity in that. A simplicity. As a society, we like to look at business owners and judge them as "lucky," "rich," and "lazy." None of those are true, in most cases. Whenever someone tells me they want to become a business owner so they can "have more flexible hours and be home more," I chuckle. Most people have no idea what business owners go through.

That said, this isn't a request for sympathy. This is what business owners sign up for; it comes with the territory. It's part of the package. Nobody is holding a gun to their head, forcing them to take this path. It's a choice. A challenging, exciting, and terrifying choice. They could always go get a job....that option remains on the table. Therefore, I have no sympathy for fellow business owners. On the flip side, I have a ton of respect and admiration for them.

Elon Musk today, homeless tomorrow. If this phrase resonates with you, please know you aren't alone. Also, I encourage you not to wish away the stress, tension, and uncertainty. Yes, it can be brutal. But it's also what gives your journey richness. Plus, the highs aren't high if there aren't lows to contrast them. Embrace the journey.....all of the journey.

You probably won't be Elon Musk.....but you probably won't be homeless, either. Somewhere in between is a beautiful story just waiting to be written.

“Never Tell Me the Odds”

"Never tell me the odds," quipped Han Solo after C-3PO warned him about the ultra-low probability of surviving an asteroid field. This is one of my all-time favorite Star Wars quotes, and it's one of the things I like most about Han Solo. He didn't care if the cards were stacked against him; he was just crazy enough to believe he would succeed.....and he did.

Oakland University took a page out of Han Solo's playbook last night by knocking off one of the all-time great college basketball programs, Kentucky. It was a massive upset and a joy to watch. Wrapped up in all the craziness was one specific Oakland player who knocked down a mind-melting ten (10!!!) threes. Oakland had no business beating Kentucky, yet here we are! Nobody must have told them the odds!

I think we should all have a little Han Solo in our DNA. We live in a world that tells us we can't. We're provided a million excuses and justifications for why it won't work. Even if we're able to get our hopes up, there's a friend or family member who is more than happy to add a discouraging remark. "Don't get your hopes up." "In your dreams." "Only if you're lucky." "You need to think more practical." "Enjoy it while it lasts."

One of the biggest complaints I hear from clients is their frustration with not receiving sincere, genuine, unselfish encouragement and support from their loved ones. People in our lives either don't believe we can do it or are jealous of the mere idea that it's possible. Therefore, it's in people's self-interest to dissuade us from following through on our dreams.

Pay off those student loans. Get that dream career. Start that business. Bring one spouse home with the kids. Stop living month-to-month. Send those kids to college without debt. I think you CAN do it. Strike that. I think you SHOULD do it. No, strick that again. You WILL do it.

When I look at my life, I think about C-3PO telling me the ridiculous odds of this actually coming true. I think the same thing about so many of my clients. Some of these people in my life are doing mind-boggling things that I have difficulty comprehending. There's one common thread with all these people: They were crazy enough to believe it could be done. That's the Han Solo in their DNA. They didn't care if other people believed in them. They chose to move forward anyway....and they did!

Oakland didn't want to know the odds. I didn't want to know the odds. Hopefully you don't want to know the odds, either. Just go make it happen. There are a million reasons you can't. There are a ton of excuses for not. Or maybe, just maybe, you do it anyway. If you need someone to believe in you and cheer you on (because others won't), count me in!

Never From a Coach’s Mouth

Today's post was inspired by a text exchange with my friend Ashley. It was regarding a trending news story about the Long Beach State men's basketball program. If you aren’t familiar, it's a doozy. Their 62-year-old head coach, Dan Monson, has been at the helm of their basketball program for the last 17 years. However, this was a tough season for the 49ers. They were predicted to finish near the top of the conference standings, but headed into the conference tournament ranked 5th (with a 5-game losing streak under the belt).

Wanting to do what's right, Coach Monson approached the athletic department ahead of the conference tournament and said he would resign if they didn't perform better in the tourney. No need, said the athletic director, as the decision to fire him had already been made. Ouch! His job was already dead, but he didn't know it yet. He entered the conference tournament as a lame-duck coach......and they won it all! their reward? A trip to the big dance. It's an amazing story, and we'll see what their next chapter looks like when his 15-seed team faces the 2-seed Arizona Wildcats later today.

While I couldn't love this story more, what Ashley said next is what got me worked up. She highlighted the fact you never hear a coach say, "Only x more years until I retire." So true! How many coaches can you count at or above the traditional retirement age? Tons! Many of us have played for a coach, at some level, who was well into his/her 70s. Older coaches are so common that the seasoned, grizzled veteran coach has been a TV and movie trope for decades.

I have a theory about why. No, it's not because they make boatloads of money (most don't, anyway). No, it's not because of the excellent benefits (many have little to no benefits). No, it's not because it's a simple and easy job (it's anything but!). Here's my theory. Coaches don't choose coaching for the money; they choose it for the meaning. Therefore, they aren't trying to race to the finish line. It's about the journey, not the destination. They wake up each day with a sense of purpose and anticipation for what's to come. When we live in this manner, our life is better WITH work than WITHOUT. It adds a richness to our life. Coaches know this!

While I'm not advocating we all quit our jobs and become coaches, I do think we could learn something by watching how coaches navigate their lives and careers. They are far from perfect, and they experience stress, turmoil, tension, and an often brutal schedule/lifestyle. But you'll rarely see a coach count down to the retirement finish line. If anything, you'll hear statements like, "I'll do it for as long as I can," or "I hope I can do this for at least x years." Passion, meaning, fulfillment, and impact.

Pay attention to this dynamic as you watch and enjoy the games in the coming days. Oh yeah, and go Cyclones!

Catch That Breather

Warning: I'm about to share some financial advice that will deeply offend some financial people. 

If you're still reading this, you've been warned. I take no responsibility for any level of annoyance or disgust you're about to experience.

I recently met with a couple in the middle of a butt-kicking financial journey. They got themselves into a pretty deep hole, and now they're digging out. It's been a slog of an endeavor, but they're making fantastic progress. However, they are flat-out tired. I can see it in their eyes. It's the financial version of seeing a basketball hunched over during a dead ball, clutching his shorts and panting heavily. You can clearly see the tank is empty. They've left everything they had on the court. That's this couple!

Anyway, I could sense they were about ready to break (which is a terrible outcome!). Therefore, I took extreme measures in our last meeting. I encouraged them to stop paying debt next month. Yes, completely stop. No debt payoffs, no saving, no investing.....nothing "responsible." Instead, aside from their needs, minimum debt payments, and giving, they will use ALL of their extra income for "irresponsible" things. Dining out, travel, personal spending, and maybe a few fun things for their house. Totally irresponsible!

Three powerful things will happen when they follow through with this ridiculous-sounding plan:

1. They will get a much-needed break. They are exhausted, and this one-month progress break will be the equivalent of a coach giving their star player a short breather. This break will give them the energy to get back on the court and finish the game strong. 

2. They will experience first-hand that it was not wants that hurt them in the past, but a lack of intentionality. On the flip side, when they experience a month chock-full of fun want spending while simultaneously keeping the financial train on track, it will show them that wants aren't the problem. It's all about intentionality. This experience will change them!

3. These things won't inherently make them happy. They will be fun, but they won't move the satisfaction needle as much as those progress months do. This will further embolden them to get back on the court and take care of business once and for all. 

"Irresponsible" spending only. No progress. No wise moves. No debt payoffs. No saving. No investing. Just fun things. Just because. This is the break they need. This is just what the doctor ordered to propel them to that next level. 

If you can relate to this couple, perhaps you need a break. Maybe you need to catch that breather. It's ok if you do. Even Jordan needed one every now and then. 

The Tension Brings Clarity

I had a fun e-mail exchange with a friend regarding my recent car-related posts. He shared how "liberating" life has been since becoming debt-free four years ago. However, his next comment is what got me. Since he was a new and now-committed member of the debt-free club, buying a truck would be a different experience. This now meant he "could not even consider" buying a truck without having the cash in hand. This changes everything! He added that while he had the cash to buy whatever truck he wanted (impressive move!), he ultimately decided to spend $10,000 less on his purchase (humble move!).

When we refuse to use debt to purchase vehicles, it creates a very palpable tension. It's hard to save a big chunk of money for vehicles. It's a long, thankless, and often unrewarding task. That's precisely the point, though. That process brings with it a tension that must be reckoned with. When it's finally time to pull the trigger on that new ride, we're faced with the reality of parting ways with so much of our hard-earned cash. That tension is brutal...and the cost high!

That tension also brings clarity. To explain this dynamic, I'll use the opposite example. Let's say my friend was truck shopping with the intent of using debt (you know, the normal way). He finds what he's looking for, falls in love with it, and needs to make a decision. He has two options in front of him: a $40,000 truck and a $50,000 truck (I made those prices up). The $50,000 truck is clearly better. It has all the bells and whistles....and a bigger engine! After doing the math, he realizes the $50,000 vehicle will "only" cost him $150/month more than the other. Considering that the $50,000 vehicle is superior and he likes it more, $150/month seems like an absolute no-brainer! See, there's no tension in the decision-making process. It's a number on a piece of paper. $150. That's not a needle-mover in many people's lives. We won't talk about the fact it's $150/month for the next 84 months.....that's for future him to worry about. Current him gets the nice truck right now!!! Again, no tension.

On the other hand, he's living in a new reality where debt is not an option. He has the same decision in front of him: buy the $40,000 or $50,000 truck. This time, however, there's a difference. Since he's writing a check no matter what vehicle he buys, he's faced with the proposition of trading an extra $10,000 of his hard-earned money for the nicer truck. It's ok if he chooses that one, but he will immediately have $10,000 less in his bank account. There's the tension!

The tension brings clarity. When faced with that tension, we almost always make better, clearer decisions. He knew exactly what he was getting, exactly what he was paying for it, and would face the consequences immediately. Tension and clarity!

He clearly and confidently chose the $10,000 cheaper option. That tension is a beautiful thing.

Pot, Meet Kettle

Today, I have the pleasure of sharing a funny (to me) story from a recent conversation with a buddy. Fortunately for you, he gave me his blessing to share it. I appreciate that he doesn't take himself too seriously.

After learning about my recent 2006 Nissan 350Z purchase, my friend shared his less-than-savory opinion about it. Specifically, he called it a "boujee move" and added, "It's a bad look for you, Travis." Translation: I'm a hypocrite for buying such a fancy luxury, and it feels a bit over the top.

These comments were the most pot-calling-the-kettle-black moments of my year. Why? This guy can out-boujee anyone. Here's the thing, though. Most people who are boujee don't know they are boujee. In his mind, he lives a bare-bones lifestyle. He only buys things he "needs." You know, like new luxury vehicles (gotta have reliable transportation!), mini-mansions (good school districts are key!), a stylish wardrobe (dress to impress!), and country club memberships (it's networking!). Need, need, need, and need.

On the other hand, my extra car is a boujee waste of money, according to him. He even went a step further and called it "irresponsible." This is where the conversation took a turn for the hilarous, and why I wanted to write about it. As we debated whether this 350Z was boujee, I pointed out that my family's three cars, combined, are worth less than half of his truck. He drives a $60,000 truck, and our three vehicles are worth a combined $25,000! Further, his truck payment is $1,400/month, and we haven't made a vehicle payment in 12 years.

Do you see the irony here? This is how we get so twisted up in our culture when it comes to money, stuff, and status. He sincerely believes he's living a conservative, responsible life. Meanwhile, he truly believes I made a "boujee move" with this car.

This is one of the many reasons I never use other people to measure my decisions. Our culture is pervasive, and its impacts are contagious. Instead, I will continue to lean into meaning every step of the way while wholeheartedly bucking the societal trends and pressures of what we're supposed to do. I hope you find your own unique ways to do the same. Don't worry about what others think. Stay true to your path and lean into your values. You will most certainly screw up along the way, but you'll do so while going in the right direction.....your direction.

What Goes Around Comes Around

When we first became parents, it was amazing how many people rallied around and supported us. The love we experienced in that season was unparalleled. I don't always remember the particulars (life was intense....and a blur), but I remember how it felt. I vividly recall the outpouring of generosity from so many people. Generosity always wins, and during that stretch of life, we were on the receiving end of so much beautiful generosity. I hope someday my kids will understand just how loved they were from the very beginning.

Fast forward seven years, and one of those generous individuals is about to have a baby. I'll never forget the generosity this person showed us when we became parents. This person impacted our family far more than they will ever know. Their love, support, and actions have created ripple effects that will span decades.

One of the beautiful things about generosity is that it's not a one-way street. What goes around comes around. Sometimes, we're on the giving end of generosity; other times, we're on the receiving end. It's essential to do both and be both. In fact, I would argue it's impossible to truly be generous without being able to accept generosity from others.

What goes around comes around. The tables are turning, and we're about ready to switch seats. When that happens, I hope we can show this growing family the same level of love, support, and generosity they showed us. They created ripple effects in our lives, and we have the opportunity to do the same in theirs. Not because we owe them, not because it's some form of payback, but because we love these people, and generosity always wins.

This is the most enjoyable part about generosity. What goes around comes around. When it does, we get to experience what true community looks like. There have been seasons in life when I needed the support and generosity of others, and there have been seasons when others needed our support and generosity. We don't perpetually live in one or another as much as we meander back and forth. Or, as often happens, we simultaneously live on both sides of this coin. A constant state of need and a constant state of generosity.

My encouragement today is to live on both sides of this equation. Be generous. Always be generous. Serve others with whatever you have to give. At the same time, always be willing to accept generosity from others. It will change you. It will change them. It will create genuine community. It will form lifelong bonds. It may also cause ripple effects that will span for decades. Generosity always wins!

Have To vs. Get To

I'm still thinking about the conversation I shared with the young woman I mentioned in yesterday's post. One of the things that struck me about her story is how much meaning and impact she's making in her work. She's a legit hero. Her eyes lit up when she talked about her work, yet at the same time, she admitted the utter frustration she feels when her income immediately goes toward debt payments.

See the tension there? Her work has so much meaning, yet her financial situation has changed her relationship with it. She's literally changing people's lives, but the income she's receiving from it is helping her barely hang on financially.

This is a tension I felt earlier in my career. Despite loving what I was doing, I woke up in the morning knowing I had to go to work. My job, and the paycheck it would provide, was my only lifeline to making my debt payments and living to fight another day. I was grateful for the job, but in some ways, it felt like I had nothing to show for all my hard work. That's a very helpless and defeating feeling. But there's a purpose behind it.

Then, something happened. When our $236,000 of debt was gone (4.5 long years later), I woke up feeling different. For some odd reason, my job got better. I felt more positive about it. I found excitement toward the work. I became better at what I did. Literally nothing about my job changed. I'm the one who changed. After a few weeks, I realized what it was. For all those years, I HAD TO go to work. Now, I GET TO go to work. It was a choice, and that choice changed everything!

Feeling like we have a figurative gun to our head is the worst feeling in the world. Even the best job will feel like garbage if we believe we don't have a choice. On the flip side, there's no better feeling than knowing we are going to work today solely because we want to. There's freedom in that. There's meaning in that.

My relationship with work forever changed that day. I promised myself that if one day I didn't want to go to that job anymore, I wouldn't. Little did I know, I'd have to follow through with that promise just seven years later when I left that career to begin what I do now. It was the hardest decision I ever made, but also the easiest (ironic, I know). I GET TO do what I do, and I never take that for granted. It doesn't mean it's easy (it's not). It doesn't mean it's always fun (it's not). But, boy, I can testify there's nothing more fulfilling or rewarding than waking up every day knowing I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to do.

I hope you wake up with the same feeling. If not, I invite you to find it. It's out there.....I promise.

My Three Promises

I recently had the pleasure of spending time with a young adult in a decent amount of debt—car, student loans, credit cards—you know, the normal stuff! It was my first time meeting her, and I thoroughly enjoyed spending that time with her. 

Much of our time was spent formulating a plan to get out of debt and creating financial momentum to do so. The problem with so many people who are in debt, including Sarah and me when we first got married, is that the situation feels too heavy. The minimum payments feel too intense, the disposable income too little, and the mountain seemingly insurmountable. 

After laying out the plan, I made her three promises. These are the same three promises I make to all my clients beginning a debt payoff journey, and they are the same three promises I'll make you today if you find yourself in debt. 

1. Paying off debt is very simple. We list the debts in our desired payoff order (I prefer the smallest balances first). Each month, we pay the minimum amount due on each debt. Then, we take any remaining extra income and pay down the next debt in our sequence. Repeat this process each month, moving to the next debt each time one is paid off. It's simple!

2. Paying off debt is very hard. It can be a grind. Month after month after month. It's a thankless endeavor, and there's nothing enjoyable about it. At some point, it becomes a mental game. Can we stay focused? Can we stay disciplined? Can we keep our emotions at bay? There are so many other things we'd rather do with this money each month. Are we willing to make the necessary sacrifices? It's hard!

3. Paying off debt is so, so worth it. It's impossible to explain the amount of peace, freedom, and satisfaction we experience upon paying off our debt. It may have felt like we were carrying 100 pounds on our shoulders, but after paying it off, it feels like we actually shed 500 pounds. It literally changes everything! That moment of debt-payoff freedom becomes a significant inflection point in our lives, and we realize things will never be the same again. It's so worth it!

I lived this journey personally, and I've walked alongside dozens of families in their own journeys. Don't overcomplicate things.....it's very simple. Don't let someone tell you it will be easy.....it may be one of the hardest things you ever do. Don't underestimate the impact it will make in your life....it's will change everything!  

Not only CAN you do it, you SHOULD do it. Strike that. You WILL do it. You got this!

The 17-Year Wait

It's 2007. I am out to breakfast with my new-ish girlfriend (now wife), Sarah. I'm decently arrogant, think I have life figured out, and most certainly want to impress this girl. I start sharing how I'm planning to buy a new car. It's a 2006 Nissan 350Z. It's a convertible stick-shift, of course. It also has a $40,000 price tag.

However, instead of looking impressed and excited, my girlfriend's eyes looked dead. She sat quietly for the longest time, then chimed in, "So I guess you don't see me in your future." What!?!?!?

First, it's not Sarah's personality to say something this direct and this harsh. Second, how could she not be excited about this? It's a convertible stick-shift!!! She explained that it seemed like an irresponsible move, ripe with arrogance, served with a side dish of caring about what others thought about me. Ouch! Needless to say, I didn't buy the car. She was right, I was wrong, and a rational decision was made.

Ever since then, I wanted to buy a fun car like that. But life happens, and we've made sure to prioritize the things that need to be prioritized. However, Sarah has been adamant that we would one day buy a fun car. It morphed over time, though. I didn't just want any car. I wanted that exact car. I wanted to hold on to that original vision and be content with that same dream.

There were a few times when we almost pulled the trigger. We were about to buy one in 2016, but then received a phone call about a few babies who would soon (two days later!) become part of the Shelton family. The car got put on the back burner. We were about to buy one in 2019, but I left my career, and our family took a 90% pay cut. The car got put on the back burner again.

Fast forward to 2024. I've been casually looking at cars, but I haven't really seen anything that fits the bill. Then, during a recent trip to Texas, I curiously decided to see if anything was available in that market. There was just one......so I scheduled a test drive. Fast forward 24 hours, and I am the proud owner of the very car I wanted 17 years ago! It's a 2006 Nissan 350Z (convertible stick-shift, of course) with 70,000 miles. $9,000! It's far from perfect. It's endured a lot of bruises and scars over the past 18 years, but then again, so have I. I canceled my flight home and made the 15-hour road trip in my new ride.

Delayed gratification sucks. We want what we want, and we want it now.

Me buying a $40,000 car at age 26 is the equivalent of a 26-year-old today purchasing a $65,000 car. It would have crushed me! Instead, I paid just $9,000 for a vehicle I can truly appreciate.....and share with people around me. As much as I'm excited to drive it, I'm equally excited for others to enjoy it. The 17-year wait was so, so worth it!

Actually, delayed gratification is awesome.

It Sure Is Lucky to Be Lucky

As I was recently sitting down with a couple, one of the spouses said something that struck me as interesting. "We've just been really lucky." Frankly, I couldn't have disagreed more. Fortunate? Yes. Blessed? Absolutely. But lucky? I don't think so.

Some context is in order. This couple is considering making some fairly drastic decisions, which will likely have many financial ripple effects. To gauge where they are financially, I began asking for more information. They have good-paying jobs in challenging fields. They don't have debt. They have money saved. They are proactive givers. Their monthly expenses are fairly conservative. They've done so many things well!

As we unpacked each item, I intentionally pointed out how these outcomes were not coincidental. Nobody is luckily debt-free. Nobody luckily has a good amount saved. Nobody luckily gives generously. Nobody luckily has a conservative living cost structure. These aren't circumstances of luck. Rather, they are the consequences of thousands of small but powerful decisions compounded over time.

It's funny how lucky we are when we live with intentionality, patience, and humility. This couple gets it! By the time we concluded our conversation, I wholeheartedly encouraged them to engage in this wildly disruptive idea. Not because it's wild, but because it matters. Their ideas are beyond counter-cultural, but it's where their meaning lies. Without even knowing it, every decision they've made for the past 5+ years has led them to this amazing and "lucky" place. I couldn't be more excited for them!

Are you "lucky?" If so, just know it's likely not luck. If you've been blessed and are in a position to make counter-cultural decisions that are potentially financially harmful, it just might be a result of thousands of previous wise choices. I'm not asking you to not be grateful. I'm asking you to look in the mirror and recognize that your decisions (even the small ones) have consequences. These consequences build up over time, weaving together a web of "good luck."

Today, I hope you're as "lucky" as this other couple. When you are, I hope you use the opportunity to make some wildly counter-cultural decisions in your pursuit of meaning.

It Doesn’t Have to Be a Grand Slam

My family is wrapping up a 3-day, 2-night mini spring break trip to Omaha. We've had a blast! Lots of food, lots of fun, and lots of relaxation. It was just what the doctor ordered. I think about this idea a lot, but this trip was yet another affirmation. Vacations don't have to be grand slams, if I can use a baseball analogy. Sometimes singles or doubles are in order. 

Don't get me wrong. I love a good grand slam vacation. Our family cruise in January was stunning. I also find my way to the Middle East or Asia at least once per year. Those trips are awesome! However, we shouldn't lose sight of the singles and doubles out there. 

Grand slams can be extremely costly in terms of money and time. They require a lot of intentionality, planning, preparation, and a big chunk of cash. Again, I'm all for these trips, but living a life of only grand slams isn't practical. I'd much rather plan, anticipate, and enjoy a series of smaller trips than one massive Disney trip each year. 

I'm not knocking Disney trips or any other killer vacation. At the same time, I don't want people to glorify these trips so much that they create a scenario where they never travel (because they can't find the money and/or time to do it). I know lots of people who have fallen for this trap. Since they can't save the $10,000+ needed for their dream grand slam vacation, they simply don't travel.

Our family takes a hybrid approach. We rarely do a grand slam trip. We may have a triple or home run trip on the books, but we like to fill in the gaps with singles along the way. Take this trip to Omaha, for example:

• Two nights in an affordable hotel (with a pool, of course).

• A tank of gas.

• A handful of meals

• Discount tickets to a world-class zoo

It was super affordable, and the kids had an absolute blast!

These smaller trips are easier to plan, require less time commitment, allow us the opportunity and joy of anticipation, are far cheaper, and can generate tons of lifelong memories. I call that a massive win!

I'm cool if you have some ridiculously awesome grand slam trips on your radar. Those are amazing. But it doesn't always have to be a grand slam. Find those singles and doubles along the way as well!

The Ratchet of Convenience

When I was a kid, there were only two ways to get a product: 1) Drive to the store and pick it up, or 2) In rare occasions, call the phone number in the printed catalog and have it delivered to your house two weeks later.

I recently needed a product. It was an obscure item that couldn't be found on the store shelf, so naturally, I jumped on Amazon. Much to my displeasure, the soonest I could get the product was the next morning. But I needed it now! I was hoping for a 1-2 hour delivery, but the best they could do was guarantee a 15-hour delivery. Lame!

If someone in the 90s would have whined about a 15-hour delivery on an obscure product when he was hoping for 1-2 hours, he might have gotten punched for being such an entitled brat.

We have an interesting relationship with convenience. We want it, but every time we have it, we want more of it. It's like a ratchet; it only gets tighter each time we twist it. I remember when Amazon launched Prime with the promise of two-day delivery. That seems impossible and completely unnecessary. Today, we regularly get next-day delivery....and often get same-day options as well. It's the ratchet tightening.

When does it stop? Where does it stop? To some extent, I'm not sure it will. As long as convenience is a priority for a given consumer, that ratchet will continue to tighten. We're probably not far away from clicking "buy" and having a drone deliver it 15 minutes later.

On the flip side, we don't have to worship convenience. While convenience is great, it's not the only consideration. When developing the Northern Vessel business model, many people asked if we were constructing a drive-thru. When my answer was a firm "no," their immediate response was some version of "you'll never stay in business without a drive-thru." While convenience obviously matters, we wanted to offer more. We elected to hitch our wagon to quality products and hospitality excellence. We believed people would give up some convenience if we served them an awesome product and treated them with love, kindness, and engagement. Our suspicions were confirmed. It's not convenient to drive to our location. It's not convenient to park the car and walk in. It's not convenient to stand in line (which can be a massive line depending on the day/time). It's not convenient to wait for the drink to be made (even though the team is extraordinarily efficient). None of these things are convenient, but other factors matter, too.

We humans will never relent on the ratchet of convenience, but we do value the complete experience. Consumers, know what's important when selecting businesses to patronize. There are times to prioritize convenience, and there are times to prioritize other factors. Businesses, don't get sucked into a race to the bottom. It doesn't have to be about having the cheapest price or most convenient option. Instead, find ways to add more value and create a richer experience.

A Different Way to Travel

One of the most pervasive myths floating around our society is that we NEED a credit card to travel. People believe this so much that they are willing to play Russian Roulette with their finances to make it happen. Here's a very real example. One of my clients had more than $30,000 of credit card debt. It's a chunk of debt that's expanded and contracted for more than a decade. Fortunately, they decided to lock down and aggressively pay it off. Getting debt-free took about 14 months, and they celebrated mightily upon completion!

I pleaded with them to cancel their cards—I literally begged! Then, the dreaded phrase came out of their mouths: "We NEED to keep at least one open for travel." Uh oh, the myth still had them captive! Despite my best efforts, they elected to keep this card open "just for travel." You can probably guess where this is going. Life happened, and they ended up back in credit card debt. 

There's a better way! A simpler way! We don't need a credit card for travel. I haven't had a credit card for more than 14 years now. I've traveled to nearly 30 countries during that span.....with no credit card in my possession. I buy plane tickets with a debit card. I book hotel rooms with a debit card. I rent cars with a debit card. I buy meals, Ubers, and activities with a debit card. It's possible to travel without a credit card. I don't just preach it.....I live it. 

All that said, it's not enough for me to simply say, "Stop using credit cards for travel." I'll also share how I structure my travel life: 

• I have a designated sinking fund for travel. But instead of using a savings account, I have it set up as a checking account. It's a separate checking account ONLY for travel use. 

• Each month, we allocate money for travel in our budget. When we do, we literally take that money and move it from our primary checking into our travel fund. We treat it as an expense, and actually "pay" that expense. 

• When we travel, we use the debit card associated with our travel fund to pay for all travel-related expenses: cars, hotels, flights, food, activities, etc. Everything!

• The money comes directly from our travel fund, leaving our monthly budget completely unscathed. 

If that sounds too simple, it's because it is. Simplicity always wins. If there's money in the account, we travel. If there's not, we don't. No exceptions. There's zero chance of making a mistake, going into debt, or getting ourselves into trouble. Handling travel this way also forces us to be intentional with our budget each month, as our travel fate relies on us actually setting money aside. 

I know I'm fighting an uphill cultural battle with this one, but I felt compelled to share this alternative way of thinking today. Try it for yourself. I have a feeling you'll love it as much as we do. 

The Best Is Yet to Come

You or someone you know is probably going through some scary times. So many people in my life are dealing with significant job shifts. Layoffs, reassignments, pay cuts, relocations, hour cuts, or benefit cuts. The economy is starting to feel weird, and ripple effects are cascading through people's careers and lives. Several clients have recently lost their jobs. Others have received pay cuts and/or hour cuts. A few have been reassigned or relocated. One of my friends just found out that he AND his wife lost their jobs.....in a 48-hour span! It feels messy out there! These are tough pills to swallow, and playing a role in this part of their journey is an honor. I never take that role lightly or for granted.

If there's one thing I want you to know, it's this. No matter what you're going through, the best is yet to come. No matter the situation, your peak is in the windshield, not the rearview mirror.

It makes me reflect on my gut-wrenching experience during the Great Financial Crisis. I thought I had life all figured out. I was young, hungry, and a little too arrogant. That all changed in 2008 when I casually walked into the office, only to be ushered into a conference room with all of my peers. There, it was communicated that our company was shutting down, and we'd all soon be out of jobs.....in the worst job market of our lifetime. I was devastated! Did I mention I had been engaged for just three days? Ouch! That was easily one of the worst weeks of my life.

Looking back, 16 years later, it's still one of the worst experiences of my life. However, that wasn't the end of the story. Amidst the pain, chaos, uncertainty, and struggle came many unforeseen blessings. Blessings that I never would have experienced had I not experienced that loss. There's a catch, though. It's nearly impossible to see these blessings while we're living it. Life is too intense, and our vision too narrow. Only after we've lived part of the journey do we get the privilege of seeing the beauty of the struggle.

My life is so much cooler today than back when I thought I had it all figured out. The last 10 years have been far better than anything I could have imagined before I hit my bottom on that terrible day in 2008. I would even argue my life isn't amazing despite the crushing blow.....it's because of it.

Your best is yet to come. Believe that. It won't make some of your life situations any easier now, but hold on to that hope. You need it, and you deserve it. You got this!

If someone in your life is struggling, please send this to them. I want to offer them an encouraging word today. I needed it when I was going through my turmoil, and I have a feeling they do, too.

You Aren’t Buying Subs

Every year, our youth group sells homemade sub sandwiches to our church members as a fundraiser to defray the cost of our summer mission trips. One week, the students pass out flyers and order forms; the next week, the sandwiches are made and available for pickup.

When I began participating in this event, it struck me as odd that they sold these subs for $5 each. Though I call it "odd," it was very much a normal approach. Sell a product, make a profit, raise money. I suggested eliminating prices altogether and letting people pay whatever they desire. There was understandable pushback to this idea. "What if people didn't pay anything?" "What if they paid less than $5?" "All our work could be for nothing." All valid concerns!

I posed a different perspective. Instead of treating people like they were buying subs, we should approach the event as though people were investing in the mission. It's true that if we charge $5 per sub, we'll absolutely receive $5 per sub. That's undeniable. However, on the flip side, the most we will receive is $5 per sub. $5 on the low end and $5 on the high end.....that's a narrow band.

Instead, if we treated the event (and actually believed) that people were investing in the mission, I believed we would raise far more than $5 per sub. People hesitated to buy into this idea, so I made them a deal. I felt so confident in this alternative approach that I promised to personally compensate them for any shortfall incurred by my strategy. I'm not sure they believed me, but I sincerely meant it.

The results? Many people did, in fact, give little to nothing. This is an inevitable outcome when we rip up the boundaries. Some people will abuse the system when the opportunity allows it. That's just a fact of life. However, that isn't the end of the story. Despite having many people give between $0-$5, we ended with an average of approximately $8 per sub. Seeing that people were indeed there to invest in the mission was an extraordinary moment. Fast forward many years, and we had our most recent sub fundraiser event last week. I wasn't involved this year, so I participated as the father of two hungry little boys. No prices! I loved it! It was a fun opportunity to invest in the mission.

This brings me to you. As you're out living your life, always keep your eyes open for opportunities to invest. There are so many people and organizations seeking to make an impact. People and organizations that want to do good in this world. When you encounter them, don't view them as someone who needs your money. Don't treat it like a transaction. Don't merely buy a product or a service from them. Invest in them. Give with meaning. Take advantage of the opportunity to be part of something bigger than you.

You aren't buying subs. You're investing in the mission. Embrace that beautiful opportunity!

It’s a Game of Runs

Can you believe the Cyclones men's basketball team is ranked #6 in the country? Me neither. It's been a fun season I'll remember for many years. As I watched the game last night, I was reminded again how basketball is a game of runs. A series of bad things happen to you, but if you stay true to the game plan and keep fighting, a series of good things can immediately follow. Then, a series of bad things may happen again....and the cycle continues. The tipping point in last night's game was a 10-0 Cyclone run late in the second half to take the lead. Iowa State went on to win the game to close out a perfect 18-0 record at home for the season.

Life is much the same way. Sarah and I have been on a good run lately. Lots of good things have landed in our favor. Then, out of nowhere, wham! Instantly, the tables turned, and we experienced a series of bad things. Pax got brutally sick, Finn's having trouble at school, and we've had some unexpected medical costs. To make it worse, all this is happening with me out of town (of course it is!).

Like my Cyclones, the only way to reverse the bad run in life is to stick to the game plan and keep fighting. It's so easy to get frustrated and want to give up. That applies to both sports and life. If we aren't careful, our will gets broken, and we lose the battle.

I'm not complaining about my family's recent bad run. It happens. And soon enough, we'll reverse the tide, and a good run shall come. Several of my clients have hit a bad run lately. Unlucky breaks, unexpected expenses, frustrating mistakes, and ridiculous roadblocks. These things suck, but they happen. I continuously remind them to stick to the game plan and keep fighting. There is no other choice. It's not a matter of IF they will prevail.....it's WHEN they will prevail.

Keep fighting the good fight. I know many of you are in the midst of a bad run. It may knock you down, but don't let it keep you down. Your best days are in front of you. You got this!