Just in Case

An interesting question came up in a meeting yesterday. Amidst a stressful conversation, the husband looks at the wife and asks, "What if something happened to me?" By "something," he meant death." It was a morbid question, but it led down an important road. No, pondering the demise of a spouse isn't the most enjoyable conversation in the world. But yes, it's critically important. 

The husband was concerned that given their current habits, practices, and structure, his wife would likely be flying blind if she was forced to pick up the family's finances in his absence. It was a completely valid concern, and one worth discussing. 

The answer isn't necessarily having both spouses handle the family's finances simultaneously. In most families, one spouse handles 90%+ of the finances. Fun fact: it's about 50/50 which gender handles the finances in a family. Second fun fact: the determination of which spouse handles the finances can typically be traced back to which of their parents handled the family's finances growing up.

So, if handling the finances jointly doesn't answer our "what if?" question, what does? I'll share a few ideas that typically help close the gap:

• While one spouse may physically handle most of the family's finances, most decisions should be made jointly. I handle 100% of my family's finances, but my wife is involved in practically every financial decision.

• Keep your finances simple. Most people have unnecessarily complex finances. There's no need for it in most situations. Simple is good, and simple will be a blessing to the surviving spouse. 

• Consistently practice intentionality with your family's finances in good times.

• Designate someone in your life to be a helper if something happens to the primary financial handler spouse. This person should understand the family's finances enough that they can step into the situation and help pick up the pieces, if needed. 

• Create a "death binder." It rolls off the tongue, I know. I only call it this because it irks Sarah, so you can call it whatever you want. In short, this is a folder or box that contains a summary of all the family's financial components. It's a list of every piece of your family's financial life. It contains account numbers, institution names, phone numbers, and even login information. Think of it as a cheat sheet for all things financial. We keep this document in our safe deposit box, and I update it periodically.

• Along with the death binder, include originals or copies of all pertinent documents. I recommend including the following:

• Social security cards, birth certificates, passports, marriage certificates, etc.

• Car titles

• Real estate documents

• Loan documents

• Insurance policies (auto, life, disability, etc.)

• Recent account statements for bank and investment accounts

• Wills

• Appraisals for valuable items like jewelry

• Keys and directions to PO Boxes, safes, storage units, and the like.

• Have periodic conversations about "what if." We don't want to go all Debbie Downer and project doom and gloom, but we want to be prepared. 

Just in case.

Don’t Cross the Streams

We had a fun NYE celebration in our house. After enjoying appetizers, we all snuggled on the couch. We made a deal with the kids. For the first time ever, they were allowed to stay up as long as they wanted. We attempted to watch the Times Square telecast, but I quickly realized we had a problem. Not much of it was appropriate for 7-year-olds. I kept changing the channel when various performers were on stage. 

During one of those sudden diversions, I stumbled onto the original Ghostbusters, which had started maybe 15 minutes earlier. While I'm not sure my kids were ready for Ghostbusters, it was certainly more appropriate than anything shown on the NYE telecast. It turns out they loved it, even the scary parts! One of my favorite parts of the movie (and the one most quoted by middle school boys.....IYKYK) is the scene where they discuss the danger of crossing the streams.

This all leads me to a coaching meeting last night. I was meeting with a young business owner who desires to adequately and properly track his cashflows. There are a lot of tips, tricks, and tools I could have given him, but I had one simple, but powerful piece of advice. "Don't cross the streams!" 

Whenever we're operating a business, whether something as small as a lemonade stand or as large as a corporation, we need to keep that business's finances isolated from everything else. It needs its own bank account that ALL revenue goes into and ALL expenses are paid from. There's a purity about it. Money in, money out, with nothing else polluting it. No personal expenses. No transactions involving another business. Nothing. 

A few things happen when we operate with this level of diligence and discipline. 

• First, it provides clarity. If the only transactions running through a business's bank account are for that business, anything left is considered profit. That's really straightforward! 

• Second, it makes record-keeping much more manageable. When it's time to report data for tax purposes, we know where to look. We can confidently look at this bank account and know everything is accounted for, and there's nothing inappropriate included. 

• Third, we're less likely to justify wants and try to jam them through our business as "deductions." 

The third one really messes people up. Blurring the lines between business and personal and between wants and needs can be dangerously self-sabotaging. It's also a surefire way to create tension in marriage. It reminds me of a conversation with my wife a few years ago. We were talking about our respective personal spending, and she lamented, "It's not fair. You also have your business account that you can go buy food and other fun things with." Shocked by this perspective, I told her I NEVER use the business for personal things. Her response? "Oh, I thought everyone did that." Telling, isn't it? She's right, sadly. But it doesn't have to be that way.

Don't cross the streams!

Stay Vigilant, My Friends

Throughout the course of life, it's staggering how many financial mistakes we make. Some are big, some are small, and the count is high. I'd like to tell you it's possible to completely eliminate them, but it's not. With the sheer number of decisions we make each day/week/month/year, we'll eventually get bit by the mistake bug.

This was my week. I was pretty upset with myself, but after deciding it would make for good blog content, I'll reclassify it as an "investment" in my head (or so I tell myself). Here's the situation. My family is preparing for an international trip that's coming up. In the process, we decided to get the kids their own suitcases. Until now, we've just packed their clothes in our luggage whenever we travel. But it's time for them to get their first set of luggage.

After doing some shopping, we picked out a few cool options (Minecraft for Finn and Spiderman for Pax). Luckily, the bags are also mirror images of each other.....just with a different design. Perfect! They were also fairly affordable at $65 each. Doubly perfect! I pulled the trigger and washed my hands of that chore. Until today.....

As I was reviewing transactions earlier in the day, I noticed one for $213. Wait, what is that!?!? If the suitcases were only $65 each, that math doesn't math. When I clicked on the invoice, my fears were realized. The bags were, in fact, $65 each, but I got dinged with a $77 shipping charge. Oh crap!

Pure and simple, I just made a boneheaded decision. I screwed up. I made a mistake. And the primary reason is the same as when we typically make financial mistakes: lack of vigilance. I didn't pay close enough attention.....and I paid the price for it. I was with the kids when I pulled the trigger (and one of them was melting my brain), so I completely whiffed on the shipping details. Ouch!

Though I'm still pretty frustrated, I'll get over it. I've made more expensive mistakes than that. Ultimately, we'll have a couple of suitcases that will serve us well for years to come. It won't break us. It won't move the needle in the big picture. But it's a great lesson. We need to stay vigilant. We must focus on the details, ensure we're crossing our T's and dotting our I's, and follow through with diligence.

Also, one last thought. Give yourself grace WHEN (not IF) you make a mistake. Mistakes will happen, so it's important you process them, learn from them, and ultimately put them in the rearview mirror. It's amazing how much these things will haunt us if we let them (yes, even this dumb $77 mistake). It certainly won't be my last mistake, and you'll also collect some as well. But if we handle ourselves with intentionality, we can limit them.

Stay vigilant, my friends!

Right and Right

Whenever we have a big decision in front of us, we try to discern what the right choice is and what the wrong choice is. It feels heavy. After all, the idea of making the wrong choice feels scary.....and intimidating. We treat it like it's life or death. If we make the right choice, we'll win. But if we make the right choice.....well, we don't even want to think about how badly that would hurt us.

I propose that, in many situations, it's not about right and wrong. Sometimes, it's about right and right. I often think about my youth group kids and their daunting choice of selecting a college. I feel bad for them, in part, because I remember how overwhelmed I was by my own college decision process when I was 18. As they are deep into the weeds of that season, I often remind them that perhaps there's not a singular right choice. Perhaps there's not a wrong choice. It may be a series of right choices, which means we'll win either way. The decision-making process gets significantly more manageable if we view it through the lens of a possible win/win scenario.

Two situations happened yesterday that fall into this bucket. First, one of my clients is strongly considering buying a different house. Doing so would require them to give up their current loan structure and ultimately add approximately $1,500+/month to their monthly budget. Mathematically, it's probably not the best decision. However, we can't let math be the sole arbiter of our decisions. There are a lot of factors at play. On one hand, they could pull the trigger and buy this house. On the other hand, they could hold off for a few years, get themselves into a better financial position, then buy something. I would propose that these are competing "right" decisions, but both right decisions, nonetheless. After the conversation, I hope they do, too.

I also had an interesting conversation about my own life yesterday. Someone offered me a significant compensation package for a full-time job. Considering what my family has been through over these past 4.5 years since taking a 90% pay cut to start our lives over, a colossal salary sounds pretty appealing right about now. To top it off, I think I'd really like the job. This, too, is an example of a possible right and right. I could keep doing exactly what I'm doing and have an amazing life. I could also pursue this other opportunity and have an amazing life.

Next time you have a big decision in front of you, look at it through the lens of a possible right and right. Then, have fun with it! Life is too short to dwell. Make the best decision you can, then aggressively pursue meaning. It will all work itself out somehow.

What’s Your Non-Resolution?

In yesterday's post, I disparaged the idea of New Year's resolutions, referring to them as a shinier version of a wish. Instead, I proposed that we ought to set a target outcome, and then focus 100% of our attention on the small things that contribute to achieving said objective. I used the idea of paying off a bunch of debt. Instead of simply saying, "I'm going to pay off $18,000 of debt this year," I walked through the small things that will actually lead to this goal being accomplished. 

After ranting about that topic yesterday, it begs the question, what do you want to achieve this year? What are your non-resolutions? What are a few things that matter to you? What are your objectives? I'd love to hear what's on your mind. Everyone has their own unique set of goals and objectives, and I'm infinitely fascinated by each person's. If you're willing, I'd be honored if you hit reply to the e-mail (if you're a subscriber) or hit the comment button if you're on the website, and tell me what yours are.

But if I'm going to ask you yours, I suppose I should share mine! Here are a few of the things I'd like to accomplish in 2024:

• Continue to build my coaching/speaking/consulting business to the point that its income consistently pays for my family's monthly budget. Over the past 4.5 years (more so in the early years), I’ve needed to supplement our income through other investments and businesses. 

• Increase our blog readership by 1,000+ new readers. If you're ever inclined, it would mean the world to me if you share the blog (or specific posts that move the needle for you). 

• Increase our podcast listenership by 2x. 

• Publish a book (more on this to come soon).

• Speak at approximately four national conferences.

Each of these five goals feels daunting, but focusing on the small behaviors, habits, and actions, can lead to big things. Ultimately, I just want to make a difference in people's lives. I want to have an impact on this world. I'm not sure I'll change the world, but I do believe I can make a positive difference in the journeys of people who will most certainly go on to change the world. That's my dream. That's my why. That's what gets me out of bed each morning. 

What about you? What's on your agenda for 2024?

A Resolution to Eliminate Resolutions

I used to be a New Year's resolution guy. I love beginnings, endings, seasons, clean slates, and fresh starts. There's something so alluring about the idea of the blank canvas of a new year. 

The key word is "used to." Somewhere along the journey, I started looking around (and in the mirror) and realized most resolutions were a bunch of crap. Not the idea behind the resolution, but rather the execution of it. Do you ever go to a gym during the first few weeks of January? It's absolutely packed. It's filled with people you've never seen before. But by March, most of those people will be gone, and the gym will be normal again. I'm not criticizing. Heck, I've been one of those January-through-March gym people before. 

It's not that I don't think there's value in wanting these things. Whether it's going to the gym, eating better, paying off debt, or any number of respectable goals, they are inherently good. The problem, however, is the resolution part. A resolution is just a shinier version of a wish. There's no follow-through, no execution, and no discipline. It's just an unlikely dream that will quickly whither. 

So what's the alternative? Simply give up and not even try? No way! Not even close. We should be clear with ourselves about what we're trying to accomplish. But instead of focusing on the outcome, we should focus on the little things that help bring the desired outcome to life. 

Let's use paying off debt as an example. Let's say I have $18,000 of student loan debt that I want to pay off this year. Instead of simply resolving to pay it off, I need to ask myself what must happen to bring it to fruition. Here's how I'd process it:

• First, I need to commit to creating, executing, and tracking a budget each month. This is the tool that unlocks our potential. 

• Second, I need to break down the desired outcome into bite-sized chunks. $18,000 divided by 12 months equals $1,500/month. I don't need to pay off $1,500 every month, but I need to average $1,500/month over the year. 

• Third, I need to assess my financial life this month to determine how much (and from where) I can find $1,500+ to throw towards the debt. It may already be there, but if not, what options do I have? Extra paychecks? Tax refund? Bonus? Side hustles? Gifts?

• Fourth, I need to follow through with the plan. Execute this month well. Nail it.

• Fifth, I need to celebrate the small wins along the way. If I pay off a small debt, I'll celebrate by going out to dinner. When I pay off another, I'll treat myself to something cool. Always celebrate. 

• Sixth, I need to remember my why. Getting out of debt alone isn't enough. What's my why? 

Oddly enough, when we focus on the small behaviors, the big dreams come to life. Go get it this year! You got this! Happy New Year!

That’s a Lot of Life

Happy last day of 2023. Is it just me, or does it seem like life moves progressively faster as we age? I blinked and the year was gone. In the past, I would be surprised by this. Anymore, however, I just expect it. 

With that being said, something happened yesterday that gave me a different perspective. One of our readers asked me a question about something I previously wrote about. In an effort to find said content, I started flipping back through old posts. I eventually found what I was looking for, but by that point, I was having fun looking back on some of our old posts. 

Here's my conclusion. Though life moves fast, there's a lot of life being lived. 365 posts in 365 days is wild. I still can't wrap my head around it. But as I was poking around some of the old posts (and the scale of it all), I was struck by how many people, stories, and situations were involved. Posts I don't remember writing. People that made a difference in my life. Stories that I had somewhat forgotten. Situations that changed me. That's a lot of life.

As I reflect on the year coming to a close and another about to unfold, a few thoughts come to mind:

• Every day is an opportunity to mean something. Some days mean more than others, but all days can have meaning. 

• Never take for granted the people who intersect our lives. Some stay for years, while some stay for just a moment.

• Make an impact. We don't need to change the world. Instead, we just make a positive difference. We never know how a small act can spiral into massive impact. 

• Document the journey. Whether you journal, blog, YouTube, podcast, or any number of creative outlets, document it. For as insightful as it was flipping back through posts from the past 365 days, just imagine how crazy it will be reading them 20 years from now. If I can convince you of one thing, it's to document your journey. If you don't do it for you, do it for others. And if you're like me, maybe some of the "others" are your children. It's one of the best gifts we can ever give our kids. 

Whether your life was filled with amazing blessings or a ton of pain (or likely a mix of both), a lot of life was most certainly lived in 2023. I can't wait to see what next year will bring. The best is yet to come. Happy New Year everyone!

What He Said!

When I open my laptop to start writing each day, I often don't know what the blog will be about. And sometimes, the creativity doesn't just automatically stream from my fingers. I suppose that will occasionally happen if I'm committed to writing 365 days per year. Today is one of those days. So I did the first thing I always do when I need to find a spark: scroll social media. I never know what I will see, but I 100% know I'll be inspired by something I come across. And man, was today's ever inspirational!

As I was flipping through Twitter (sorry, I can't call it X), I saw something my guy Elliott Frey shared. It was a postgame interview with Arizona defensive player Martell Irby, who had won the Alamo Bowl moments prior. Here's the video. It's only 2 minutes long, and I couldn't recommend it enough.

🥲 pic.twitter.com/qvCTChNTSU

— no context college football (@nocontextcfb) December 29, 2023

This clip sums up nearly everything I believe in. It's an absolutely beautiful witness and testimony of the pursuit of meaning. These 114 seconds are packed with so much:

• Faith

• Persistence

• Redemption

• Gratitude

• The importance of community

• Humility

• Living in the present

• Work ethic

• Love

• Determination

• Patience

I feel like this is where I should elaborate on his words, providing context and adding value.....or maybe throw in something witty. Truth is, there's nothing I can add to make this better. I don't know Martell. Scratch that, I don't even know anything about Martell other than what these two minutes told me. But I can tell you one thing: This man's gravitational pull makes you want to be around him. It's contagious. It's vulnerable, and it's genuine. It's all about meaning. 

So instead of trying to find something clever or valuable to say, I just have one thing: What he said!

You Wouldn’t Pay a Doctor to Hurt You

A friend, who is now a reader of this blog, recently asked me to do a quick assessment of their investments. After reading several posts where I ranted about how most people unknowingly have terrible investment portfolios, he had a growing suspicion that his portfolio probably fell into the same camp. His story is similar to most. In an effort to help their grown children, their parents gave them a referral to the financial advisor they've been using for many years. After all, this is a person they trust. It's a long-standing relationship, and their portfolios have increased over time. And in their parents' defense, when they started investing, this was the ONLY way to invest. It's the traditional way to do it. 

I dug into their funds, took into account their weightings, and this is what I found. Over the last ten years, their investment composition had a return of 8.97% per year (we'll call it 9%). Pretty good, eh? After all, the stock market's historical average is around 9% per year for 150+ years. One problem, though. The total US stock market, over the same period of time, had an 11.50% annual return. This means their portfolio underperformed the stock market by 2.5% per year.....wow! Oh yeah, and they paid their financial advisor 1.25% per year for the privilege of getting their butts kicked by the market. 

So after factoring in sub-par returns and the manager fees on top of it, they performed 3.75% less than they could have performed by simply pushing a few buttons on their phones: 7.75% vs. the market's 11.50%. You wouldn't pay a doctor to hurt you, but this is the financial equivalent of doing just that. 

Let me illustrate it for you. This couple is 30 years old and has approximately $20,000 invested. Let's assume these same returns persist between now and age 65. Here's what would happen:

• Their current portfolio would end up at $270,000

• A simple investment in a total stock market index would be $900,000.

That's a $630,000 difference! Their returns would be 3.3x more.....triple!! And this doesn't even account for additional investments into their account between now and 65. This is ONLY the original $20,000 investment. 

Now I doubt these same returns will repeat themselves over 35 years. Let's pretend the market returns 9% per year instead. And let's also assume their financial advisor will pull a rabbit out of his hat and tie the market (but they still have to pay their 1.25% fee for the privilege). Here's what would happen:

• Their current portfolio would end up with $273,000. 

• A simple investment in the total stock market would end up with $408,000.

That one decision made them $135,000....not accounting for additional investments!

Epilogue: After this conversation, the husband independently set up an account to invest in the total stock market index. The entire process took him 15 minutes. Those 15 minutes just made them more than $1M! That's what I call a great return on investment!

There’s a Hole in the Boat!

Do you ever feel like you're living month-to-month or paycheck-to-paycheck with your money? You're trying to make progress, but there's just not enough money to make it happen? You try to cut back and create margin, but it's just too dang hard? You're not alone! This is the plight of millions of Americans.

I have a little secret for you. You might not believe me at first, but I'm dead serious. You probably have more margin than you think. The money that you've been looking for is probably already in your paycheck. But there's a problem: There's a hole in the boat!

One of my favorite parts about starting a new coaching relationship is the first spin through their monthly budget. They've already provided me with all their monthly needs, wants, and debt payments. I digest all this information and visually lay it out on the screen. Then, we go through it, line by line. I encourage them to jump in if we're missing anything or need to edit a particular item. Then, the grand finale that I always eagerly anticipate is the moment we hit the bottom of the budget, only to discover hundreds or thousands of dollars left over.

There's a moment of confusion and bewilderment, almost as if they forgot to include their mortgage payment or grocery expenses in the above information. But they didn't. It's all been accounted for.....and there's still a ton of money left over. Sometimes, a family has $500 of unexpected margin......sometimes it's $5,000. Most families have $1,000-$3,000. But whatever it is, the look on their face is priceless. It's the look of hope and optimism. There's also some embarrassment at play, but here's my encouragement: They aren't alone! You aren't alone! So many other people are dealing (or have dealt with) the very same thing....myself included.

The hole in the boat is us. We're the hole. Impulse buys, friction in our day-to-day lives, the pursuit of convenience, external forces, forgetting upcoming items, lumpy expenses, or underestimating how quickly small things add up. Each of these factors leads us down the road of a leaky boat.

Good news, though! We can plug the hole. It's simple and effective. A budget! A budget is a surefire way to plug the leak. Not to rob ourselves of fun and enjoyment, but rather to harness that margin for what's most important. If you want to save up for a big family trip, plugging that leaky hole may be THE answer. If you're trying to save for retirement or your children's college, that leaky boat may be the reason you never get there. If you want one spouse to stay at home but can't make the numbers work, fixing that leak may be what the doctor ordered.

Once we fix the leak, we regain control. We're the boss. We get to determine the fate of that money. It's going to go somewhere, so we might as well be the ones directing traffic.

Plug that leaky boat! Lean into YOUR values.

More Control Than We'll Admit

Oh, inflation. Inflation, inflation, inflation. Inflation is a topic that doesn't seem to go away. It's now as engrained in our cultural narrative as Taylor Swift, TikTok, and my Bears being terrible. Inflation is an easy target. It's easy to point to a single number as proof of why we're screwed. "Well, gas prices were x, and now they are y," or "My weekly grocery haul used to cost b, and now it costs c." While those facts may be true, they don't properly account for the overall picture. They are just numbers in a vacuum. 

I had a conversation ask week that may illustrate the topic. While meeting with a client, we were looking closer at their current monthly budget. This exercise was through the lens of changing circumstances and a desire to carve out more margin. This family's monthly needs are approximately $9,000. This accounts for food, housing, utilities, transportation, and other items that are essentially needs. 

Curious about the broader context of this number, I flipped back to some of their older budgets (from four years ago). Much to their dismay, their apples-to-apples monthly needs were just $5,000 back then......less than half of what they are today! You may be thinking to yourself, "How do monthly needs go up by $4,000 in just four years!?!?" There are a few reasons this happens, which primarily include:

• Inflation

• Changing seasons of life

• Lifestyle creep

• Evolving definition of "need"

I don't highlight this to point fingers. This isn't a condemnation of them (or anyone else). Rather, this is a great opportunity to look in the mirror, be honest with ourselves, and act accordingly. 

Yes, inflation has done a number on this family. That's a very real thing. We can go category by category and see how their monthly spending has changed over the years (one of the benefits of budgeting and tracking over a long period of time). Inflation has played a role in this. 

But we also need to take account of all the areas in our lives that we've inflated (whether intentionally or unintentionally). Just because we can spend on something, it doesn't mean we should. It's so easy to squint our eyes and decide xyz is now a need, or what was once needed isn't enough anymore. We humans justify all sorts of decisions this way.

We also have to look at our major decisions and how they impact our financial journey:

• The cars we buy

• The house we live in

• The childcare we choose

• The stores we shop at

• The food we eat

Not all decisions are created equal. Some decisions can transform our budget to the tune of hundreds or thousands per month. It's critical that we view each decision through the lens of our broader life and what's most important to us. 

So as we enter a new year, perhaps this is a great time to take a look at your numbers. Take back control. Focus on meaning. Create margin. Give yourself peace. You deserve it!

Expectations vs. Reality

Do you ever script out, in your mind, how something will go? What it will look like, feel like, and be like? There's a specific vision in your mind, with an anticipation of it all playing out just as you planned? Oh cool, me, too! And just like clockwork, it rarely goes according to plan. That can be such a defeating feeling.

This was my Christmas day. It didn't look or feel like I imagined it in my head. You know what's crazy, though? For the first time ever, I went in with an anticipation that my perfect little vision probably wouldn't materialize. Some may call it pessimism. Others may call it experience. I call it growth. In years past, I would find myself getting pretty sad when my little vision melted as reality set in.

Most of our Christmas day was spent as a party of three, as Sarah spent most of the day in bed with a brutal sinus infection. I felt terrible for her. Also, instead of a white Christmas, we received an odd 50-degree Christmas day. That sounds possibly fun, except for the fact it rained all day. The boys and I saw the new Wonka movie at the theater. About 15 minutes in, the screen went black, where it would stay for about 30 minutes. After getting it running again and adjusting the timestamp of the movie a few times (resulting in us seeing the same parts multiple times), it went from a two-hour movie to a three-hour experience.

Nothing went quite as expected. But it was still an amazing day! I knew it would look different than I had hoped for, and that's ok. I was ready to embrace it for whatever it is, and create memories with the kids nonetheless. And that we did. It could have been a huge letdown, but we thoroughly enjoyed our little tainted Christmas. We lived in the present and enjoyed our time together.

I think our Christmas is a parallel to much of life. It's rarely going to go as we hope, so we have two options: a) lament the fact reality isn't matching our expectations, or b) continue to see it through, embracing whatever plays out in front of us. It's going to be messy, frustrating, chaotic, and a roller-coaster. We can wish for something different, but we can't wish away reality. All we can do is expect the unexpected, savor whatever comes, and always decide to make lemonade when it's raining lemons.

I hope you had the absolute most perfect day ever, but in the likely event you didn't, I hope you embraced and savored your very imperfect Christmas day, too. Today won't be perfect. Tomorrow won't be, either. That's ok, though! Embrace whatever comes your way.

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday! No, I'm not talking about Frosty. I never really understood that part (3 times!) when Frosty blurted out "Happy Birthday" to himself. Also, was his memory wiped each time his magic hat was removed? Anyway, enough with the Frosty tangent.

Today is a big day. I love Christmas. I love the movies, lights, foods, decor, traditions, and music.....all of it. It's the one time of year I feel the intentional nudge to slow down. But today is another big event. It's Jesus's birthday! Amidst all the typical Christmas celebrations and traditions this time of year, in our house we try to always point the focus back to the real meaning of Christmas: Jesus.

He may be the only human in history who, instead of receiving gifts, brought the gift.....the ultimate gift. He was born among us so he could sacrifice himself for us. If you're a Christian, please don't let this get lost in all the fun and celebration today. As for us, we'll have a typical Christmas day. Presents, movies, food, and NBA games (of course!). But we'll also take a moment to place a few candles in cupcakes (or Little Debbie tree cakes based on what I'm seeing in our pantry) and sing Happy Birthday to the one worth celebrating. It's a fun little way to pause, remember, and refocus on what this season is all about.

Merry Christmas, everyone! I hope you have the most wonderful day.

We Can’t Have Special Without Boring

Let's be honest. Most days are normal (i.e. boring). We wake up in the same place, eat the same food, do the same things, see the same people.....and repeat. I'm not knocking it, as I'm a creature of habit, but it's true. Yesterday, though, was a different day. I enjoyed some coffee on the couch with the family, knocked out some year-end business admin work, played Madden with Pax, went to Northern Vessel for some delicious drinks, took the kids outdoor ice skating, went snail shopping (weird development), grabbed take-out pizza, and finished the night by watching the Grinch.

Not all days are created equal. Something about yesterday really got to me. While most days fly by and are gone before I know it, I found myself savoring the little moments yesterday. It felt different. It felt special.

It would be easy to wish every day to be like yesterday; it can't be. The normal of life is what makes those special days special. If every day were special, then no day would be special. That's why we shouldn't overlook or demean our normal, day-to-day life. It's the normal that creates the special. That's why going out to a nice restaurant is special.....because it's not normal. If we went to a nice restaurant every night, it would just be called dinner.

This, in part, is what makes the Christmas season so meaningful. We wait, and wait, and wait, all year, until it finally arrives. It's the anticipation. It's the wait. It's the scarcity. Then finally, it's here!

Merry Christmas Eve, everyone! I hope you have a special day filled with special memories. And remember, these types of days are only special because of the normal life we get to live. Embrace the normal and be grateful for it. That's what lays the foundation for the special.

Have an amazing day!

The Slavery of Comfort

Several years ago, one of my friends created a product that I believed was revolutionary. He found the solution for a widespread problem, created a product that addressed it perfectly, and was on the precipice of introducing it to the world. He had so much passion and heart for this idea. He even referred to it as a calling. One problem: He didn't have the time to invest in the launch and implementation. Well, that wasn't the problem, exactly. The problem was how to create the time. The short version of the story is that he needed to scale back or quit his day job. Translation: he needed to take a temporary pay cut to fully make the transition.

His family lived a very comfortable life. Nice house, nice cars, and all the other things that go hand-in-hand with a comfortable life. Taking a pay cut was a tricky proposition, as living a life as comfortable as his is not cheap.

Seeing how special this new opportunity was and how badly he desired it, I had a novel idea for him. Cut back on the lifestyle. There were several ways he could have achieved it. Downgrade his cars. Buy a different house. Spend less on luxuries. He hated these ideas. He was adamant that all of these ideas were non-starters for his family. He even added, "We're not being called to sell our house or cars." Ah, yes, I forgot about the part where God tells us to aggressively pursue comfort! My bad.

You can probably guess what happened next. His dream died. He latched onto his comfortable life and let his calling whither away. He remained in a job that he largely disliked. He continued to wake up each morning merely tolerating what he was about to do. But hey, at least his life was comfortable. At least he retained all the symbols and signals that tell the world he's wealthy and successful.

He, like millions of Americans, is a slave of comfort. It's one of the ultimate ironies. The more comfortable we are, the more entrapped in our comfort we become. We will give up nearly everything for comfort. We give up our dreams, callings, financial freedom, mental health, and even our relationships.

Worse, the entire idea of comfort is a moving target. What's comfortable today will seem blah tomorrow. I have friends who now live in their third "forever" home. Or the couple who built the house of their dreams (6 bed / 5 bath), only to sell it 18 months later, after becoming pregnant (because that house "won't be big enough for a family of four"). There's always something newer, faster, shinier, bigger, and more comfortable. It doesn't end.

Unfortunately, every aspect of our society tells us to pursue comfort above all else. We're slaves to it. It traps us. We can have comfort or progress, but we can't have both.

My strongest encouragement is to choose discomfort. It will change you....and you will change others.

It’s Possible…..If You Believe

I recently met with a young couple who are frustrated with their finances. They are early in their careers with lots of potential, but with one elephant-in-the-room problem: a ton of student loan debt. $60,000 of student loan debt. They've paid some of it off, but it feels daunting to them. If they just make the minimum payments, it will be gone in eight years......but that idea sucks.

"We'd like to pay it off in two years, but we know that's not a reasonable goal." They are right. It's not a reasonable goal. It's an absurd goal. Everyone in their life agrees, too. There's no shortage of people who tell them to quit trying to pay it off. It's not possible, they say. It will take forever, they are told.

Their challenge to me was to develop a plan to get the debt paid off as quickly as possible......whatever that timeline looks like. Paying off debt (as well as other financial ventures) requires creativity. Nothing is black and white. Rather, we need to think outside the box, take inventory of all the different tools in our lives, and find ways to create something beautiful with them.

Here's the end of the story. This couple can pay off this $60,000 in nine months. NINE! Yes, less than one year. They chuckled at the absurdity of my pitch, waiting for the punchline. But there was no punchline. I was being serious. Over the next 10 minutes, I outlined all the tools they had available to them. Piece by piece, we chipped away at the timeline, one month at a time. When I was done, they looked at each other, then back to me, and the wife said, "That actually seems doable. Are you sure the math is right?"

There's one important ingredient that's needed for them to succeed. They actually need to believe it's possible. If they do, it can happen. If they don't, it can't. The belief makes all the difference in the world. This is what sets some people apart from the rest. They have the absurdity to believe something is possible when the rest of the world just shakes their heads and rolls their eyes.

Two ideas come from this. First, be someone who believes. Not blindly believing, but someone who gives yourself permission to dream and plan, then the courage to act. Second, surround yourself with people who believe. People who believe in you. People who believe in your dreams. People who believe in the impossible. Those people will lift you up on the days when your own belief might start to wain.

It's possible.....if you believe.

Doing the Right Thing is Always the Right Thing

We had a situation in our house last night. Sarah and I had dinner plans with our long-lost friends, Ryan and Anna, who are visiting family for the holidays. We were excited for dinner and had a babysitter lined up. Then, something happened. About 90 minutes before the babysitter was scheduled to arrive, our kids received an invite for another activity that was too good to pass up.

We had a dilemma on our hands. We wanted our kids to do this other activity, but we didn't want to disrespect the babysitter by pulling the rug from underneath her. Therefore, we quickly found a workable solution. I contacted the babysitter to communicate our change of plans (along with an apology), then Venmo'd her the same amount of money we would have paid her for her babysitting duties.

On one hand, we didn't owe her anything. She didn't actually spend her time babysitting. She didn't actually earn it. Plus, it would have been great to save 50 bucks. However, paying her was the right thing to do. And doing the right thing is always the right thing. I still felt bad about it, but she got paid in full, and hopefully, she found something else fun to do instead.

It feels like our society operates on a series of technicalities. If there's no hard rule or signed contract, we'll do anything to make self-serving decisions. Here's an example. I go to dinner and use a gift card that covers the vast majority of the bill. Since we typically tip on the amount of our bill, I don't technically have to leave much of a tip. But doing the right thing is always the right thing.

Here's another. Sometimes, my coaching clients use their meetings at a slower pace than originally structured. In that case, they can run out of contract term before using all their meetings. Technically, I don't have to honor these meetings. After all, the contract has expired. But doing the right thing is always the right thing. In that situation, we just extend the contract to ensure they get their final meeting(s) in (at no cost to them).

I could give a hundred more examples, but I'll save you the time. Instead of finding ways to derive the best outcome for ourselves, we should always look through the lens of the right thing to do. If the right thing falls in our favor, great.....if not, great. The right thing is always the right thing.....because it's the right thing.

When we operate our finances this way, we remove all doubt about motives, reasoning, and justifications. It builds trust. It creates goodwill. It shows the other side that we respect them.

Doing the right thing has surely cost me thousands of dollars over the years, but it's an absolute no-brainer. I have a clear conscience and build meaningful relationships in the process. I hope you do the same. Doing the right thing is always the right thing!

Progress Through Imperfection

One of my clients felt frustrated this month. They are early in their budgeting journey, having just finished their first full month of planning, execution, and tracking. It's a newer concept to them, and I'm asking them to approach it in an entirely different way. They are nervous, excited, and cautiously optimistic about the entire thing. They felt pretty good entering their first month, but ultimately exceeded the budget by approximately $150.

They expected me to be disappointed in them, but I was nothing short of excited and optimistic. While they viewed a $150 miss as a loss, I call it a win. Here's why. They were expecting perfection, while I was expecting progress. My hope was for them to have a plan, give their best efforts to honor the plan, do it with unity, and track it accordingly. In my book, they get an A+! Nowhere in there did I expect perfection.

Here's a little secret. The best budgeters rarely get closer than $150 to their targeted budget. What it most often looks like is missing by several hundred on either side of zero, month after month after month. Then, if you take an average over a long period of time, it averages out reasonably close to zero. Perfection is never the goal. The goal is progress through imperfection.

This is a powerful concept with money (among other things). We need to let go of the expectation of perfection. The moment we stop expecting perfection is the moment we can actually make meaningful progress.

You're going to mess up. I'm going to mess up. We're all going to mess up. When we do, we have two options: 1) give ourselves grace and simply move on, or 2) beat ourselves up and dwell in frustration.

Back to the couple at the beginning of the story. They began the conversation frustrated, but ended it encouraged, optimistic, and excited. The lynchpin was grace. They gave themselves grace to be imperfect. Progress through imperfection.

Go be imperfect today!

The Multiplication of Impact

I had lunch with my friend Rob yesterday. Rob is equal parts intense, passionate, and servant-hearted. He's the kind of guy that will empty his entire life savings to help a stranger on the street.

In addition to his day job, Rob runs an organization in Zambia called Shoulder 2 Shoulder. Food insecurity is one of the most significant issues in Zambia, and his organization tries to attack it in two ways. First, by providing food (to 1,500 households per month). Second, by training sustainable farming techniques. Their model is pretty cool. They teach people how to farm their land, provide them with the necessary inputs to farm it, then buy back a portion of their crop (to give away to other hungry people). With the proceeds from selling their crops back to Shoulder 2 Shoulder, the local farmers can afford to care for themselves and buy next year's farming inputs....and repeat.

Rob and I periodically have lunch to catch up on life/work/family, discuss all things generosity, and for him to update me on his ministry work. These discussions always come with a handout. Rob knows I like tables, data, and charts.....so he never lets me down! As I was scanning the page, something caught my eye. "Rob, what's this?," I asked as I pointed to the text: "Shoulder Water." Rob explained that one of the components of his ministry is to drill freshwater wells in villages so people can have clean water to drink. They've drilled 13 wells in the past few years.

Naive, I asked Rob what people do in villages without these wells. They either walk to a different village and carry back the water, or they simply don't have access to clean water.

Progressively curious, I asked how much these wells cost. $2,000. Wait, for $2,000, all in, hundreds of people will go from having no clean water to having clean water, just like that?!?! Rob, so you're telling me that one $2,000 investment changes hundreds of lives for years to come!?!? Talk about a strong return on investment......holy cow!

I gotta be honest. I'm glad I didn't have my checkbook at lunch yesterday. There's a possibility I would have handed my life savings to him. If $2,000 can permanently change hundreds of lives for years to come, is there actually anything better we could do with our resources?

Impact multiplies. It always does. In this case, however, I can't even wrap my head around the possible multiplication consequences. I immediately told Rob I'd fund one well this month. I'd be dumb not to.

Speaking of multiplication, I have an idea. If my $2,000 gift can help change hundreds of lives by giving people easy access to fresh, clean water, what would happen if others got involved? The nifty little handout Rob gave me yesterday indicated their plan is to fund five more wells by this time next year.

What if we funded all five this month? I just claimed one. Do you want one? Two? Or maybe a partial? What if a handful of us, connected by this silly little blog, banded together to multiply impact for thousands of people on the other side of the world for years to come? What if?

Please hit "reply" to this e-mail if you're interested. It's happening....

The Secret Behind the Curtain

We recently introduced our kids to The Wizard of Oz. One of my favorite scenes is when the great and powerful Oz is outed. Until that moment, he's a larger-than-life figure with great power and status. However, there's a moment when Dorothy and her posse get a glimpse of what's actually going on behind the curtain. Turns out, Oz was leveraging technology to make himself look bigger and more powerful than he actually was.

"Travis, how do people afford to live like this?!?!" This is a question that I get at least once per week. I've been asked this question for years, but it's probably ramped up 4-fold in the last 12-18 months. At the heart of the question is a mix of frustration, bewilderment, and voyeurism. Regular people trying to navigate this difficult financial season can't wrap their heads around how everyone around them are buying nice cars, upgrading their houses, affording elaborate trips, and revamping their wardrobes. I often wonder the same thing as I look around and see the madness unfolding in every direction. How in the world do people afford this? Are they harvesting cash from their money tree? Do they all have ridiculously high-paying jobs? Do they have tens of thousands of cash saved in the bank or under their mattress? No, no, and no.

The answer is usually relatively simple. You want in on the secret? I'll tell you if you promise not to tell anyone. **Ok, this is my whisper voice.** Debt. Debt is the fuel bringing all this action to life. Debt is the secret sauce.

It's kinda like the great and powerful Oz. From the outside, it seems like everyone around us is freaking loaded. Unlimited money to do whatever they want. Cars, houses, trips, clothes.....you name it! Also, like Oz, they are using leverage to make themselves seem richer and more successful than they actually are. Except their leverage isn't technology.....it's debt. Debt allows people to afford things they'd never be able to afford otherwise. Debt is the key to (temporarily) unlocking all of life's trappings.

I insert the word "temporarily" because it's just that, temporary. At some point, the music has to stop. We've reached a point in our culture where credit card, auto, mortgage, and student loan debt are nearing all-time highs. The ride up the mountain is pretty fun while ratcheting up the debt. It's exciting, fun, and seemingly sexy. However, there's only so much slack available before it's time to pay the piper. That time is upon us.

People have enjoyed the ride for a good decade, and now they are about to be exposed like Oz was. I've seen behind many curtains over the years. Some of the best-looking curtains contain the ugliest messes behind them.

The curtain you're most jealous of? You probably don't want what's actually behind it. All is not as it appears. Remember, the shinier the curtain, the harder it's trying to hide what's behind it.