Just in Case

An interesting question came up in a meeting yesterday. Amidst a stressful conversation, the husband looks at the wife and asks, "What if something happened to me?" By "something," he meant death." It was a morbid question, but it led down an important road. No, pondering the demise of a spouse isn't the most enjoyable conversation in the world. But yes, it's critically important. 

The husband was concerned that given their current habits, practices, and structure, his wife would likely be flying blind if she was forced to pick up the family's finances in his absence. It was a completely valid concern, and one worth discussing. 

The answer isn't necessarily having both spouses handle the family's finances simultaneously. In most families, one spouse handles 90%+ of the finances. Fun fact: it's about 50/50 which gender handles the finances in a family. Second fun fact: the determination of which spouse handles the finances can typically be traced back to which of their parents handled the family's finances growing up.

So, if handling the finances jointly doesn't answer our "what if?" question, what does? I'll share a few ideas that typically help close the gap:

• While one spouse may physically handle most of the family's finances, most decisions should be made jointly. I handle 100% of my family's finances, but my wife is involved in practically every financial decision.

• Keep your finances simple. Most people have unnecessarily complex finances. There's no need for it in most situations. Simple is good, and simple will be a blessing to the surviving spouse. 

• Consistently practice intentionality with your family's finances in good times.

• Designate someone in your life to be a helper if something happens to the primary financial handler spouse. This person should understand the family's finances enough that they can step into the situation and help pick up the pieces, if needed. 

• Create a "death binder." It rolls off the tongue, I know. I only call it this because it irks Sarah, so you can call it whatever you want. In short, this is a folder or box that contains a summary of all the family's financial components. It's a list of every piece of your family's financial life. It contains account numbers, institution names, phone numbers, and even login information. Think of it as a cheat sheet for all things financial. We keep this document in our safe deposit box, and I update it periodically.

• Along with the death binder, include originals or copies of all pertinent documents. I recommend including the following:

• Social security cards, birth certificates, passports, marriage certificates, etc.

• Car titles

• Real estate documents

• Loan documents

• Insurance policies (auto, life, disability, etc.)

• Recent account statements for bank and investment accounts

• Wills

• Appraisals for valuable items like jewelry

• Keys and directions to PO Boxes, safes, storage units, and the like.

• Have periodic conversations about "what if." We don't want to go all Debbie Downer and project doom and gloom, but we want to be prepared. 

Just in case.