Sometimes, "Pretty Good" Sucks

I recently had a conversation that I repeat multiple times per week. I was meeting with a friend, and the topic of investing came up. They mentioned they use a financial planner who does a "pretty good job." This comment always sets off my red flag and warning sirens. What is the definition of a pretty good job? How do we know our investments are performing well? Because they are going up? Because they are being watched? Because they are spread across a few dozen funds that sound like some sort of twisted alphabet soup? Because they are being managed by someone we know and trust? 

I asked them what company they use for their investments. In my head, all I could think was, "please don't say xyz, please don't say xyz, please don't say xyz." "We work with xyz." Nooooooo! That's the moment I knew they were in a tough spot. For what it's worth, xyz is a very prominent, highly respected, broadly welcomed financial advising company. Before I go on, please let me clarify that nothing this company does is inherently immoral, illegal, or ill-intentioned. Rather, they do things the old way. By "the old way," I mean the way things used to be done before they didn't need to be done that way anymore. In today's world, we have access to the very best funds in the world, at the tip of our fingers (er, screen), at little to no cost. 

Knowing what company they are working with, I know the general lay of the land. They are most likely paying around 1.25% for management fees and have a portfolio that will, over a long period of time, perform at least 0.75% worse than the overall stock market. Therefore, this person is likely invested in a portfolio that will perpetually perform 2% less than the overall stock market. If the stock market performs at a long-term 9% (just below its historical average), this person may receive 7%. This doesn't seem like a meaningful difference, but let's look at the math:

Here are the assumptions:

• Current age: 42

• Ending age: 65

• Current balance: $500,000

• Annual contributions: $25,000

• These are very simple, rough numbers for illustrative purposes.

At age 65, their current strategy would result in a balance of approximately $3,700,000. See, that's pretty good! That's a lot of money! Their person did a great job! 

But wait, what about the other way? If this person were to simply invest in the overall market (readily accessible to each of us at practically no cost), they would have approximately $5,400,000 instead. That's a $1,700,000 difference!!! I don't know the definition of "pretty good," but in my book, ending up $1,700,000 worse off fails my smell test. 

This isn't my friend's fault. After all, nobody teaches us this stuff! Here's the beautiful part, though. All it takes is one simple tweak. It seems too good to be true, but it's not. 

Turning the Tables

In yesterday's post, I mentioned how my friends considered their $700 Taylor Swift concert tickets a bargain. On the surface, this seems absurd. However, their perspective makes sense through the lens of value vs. cost. I've been receiving a lot of feedback from this post. Some people think $700 for concert tickets is ridiculous, but the sentiment landed with many. 

It's the paradox with spending. Some of the best values in our lives are things other people just scratch their heads at. I love this tension. I love how unique we are wired. 

Today, I want to hear yours. What purchases in your life seem like a bargain to you, while many others simply scratch their head (and possibly talk about you behind your back)? I'll go first. Here are a few of the things that can sometimes cause tension in the minds of others:

• Monthly massages (oh so good)

• Drycleaning all my dress shirts (I always love my crisp shirts)

• Killer seats when I go to a live sporting event (I don't go to many, but love going all-in when I do)

• Christian education for our kids (a lot vs. free is an interesting equation)

• Apple laptops (wow, they are expensive!)

Each of these items adds a ton of value to my/our life, yet at the same time, some people look at me like I'm a crazy person. I love that! Now that I've gone, it's your turn! Please reply to this e-mail (if you're an e-mail subscriber) or drop a comment on the webpage. I want to know what items you spend money on that are simultaneously a bargain for you and a head-scratcher to many others. I'm going to compile them and share them in a future post. 

Have an awesome day, and keep making people scratch their heads!

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The $700 Bargain & $50 Ripoff

Last week, I took the boys to a popular local attraction. I won't use the business's name, as the point of this post isn't to drag a local organization through the mud. I paid $50 for us to get in. We had a pretty good time, but it was honestly one of the biggest ripoffs I've experienced in quite some time. I kind of knew I was putting myself in that position, but it felt worse than I anticipated. Needless to say, I hope never to make that mistake again.

On the flip side, my friends Steve and Whitney recently paid $700 for tickets to Taylor Swift's Eras Tour. When I ask them (specifically Whitney) about the experience, she lights up. That was a bucket list item for her. She could go on and on and on about that night. She even carried the joy of that event for the months BEFORE the concert. If they were being honest, that $700 was a bargain.

They paid 14x the amount I paid for my family's recent outing, which lasted about the same amount of time. My 1/14th cost was a ripoff, and their 14x cost was a bargain. Not all costs are created equal, for one big reason: value.

The cost is never just about the cost. The cost is only one measurement. The other measurement needed is value. How much value does it bring us? In the case of my family outing, it was less than $50. In the case of my friend's Taylor Swift experience, it was more than $700.

This concept applies in every aspect of our life. Here's another example. I just threw away my favorite pair of boots. I paid $75 for them and have worn them for two years. They were wonderful.....but now they are trash. I had to throw them away.....it was a sad day in my house. I'm in the process of buying a new pair that will cost $250. On the surface, that seems steep considering my last pair cost only $75. However, these new boots should last at least 10+ years (according to the company and friend testimonials). If true, the $250 price tag will seem like a bargain despite being 3x more expensive than my last pair.

I encourage you today to view everything through the lens of cost & value. If the value (to you!) is greater than the cost, it could be a bargain. If the opposite, it may be a ripoff. This type of analysis changes the way we perceive spending money. It prevents us from buying stuff we shouldn't, and encourages us to buy stuff we might otherwise shy away from.

As with all things, it's about creating a healthy relationship with how we perceive and handle the money we're blessed to manage. What an amazing responsibility and opportunity!

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Death to Girl Math, Death to Boy Math

There's a new social media trend that's both silly and worrisome. It was initially called "girl math," which highlighted some of the psychological games women play on themselves to justify financial decisions. Women quickly turned the tables and started highlighting some of the ridiculous psychological games men play on themselves. Here are a few examples:

• If you spend $100 at a store and get a $10 gift card in return, that's income.

• If something costs $5.99, we mentally round it down and consider it $5. Or if something costs $47, we round it down to $40.

• Shipping will cost $5, so we add a $10 item to get free shipping....meaning we "saved" $5.

• If something costs less than $5, it doesn't really count (because that's too small to matter).

• Tattoos are essentially free, as you'll have them the rest of your life. If you live another 50 years, a $100 tattoo costs about 1/2 cent per day.....i.e. it's free.

• If you were thinking about buying a $80 product and ultimately buy a $40 product instead, you made $40. 

These posts were pretty silly, but what made them go viral was the discovered reality that many of us play the exact same psychological games on ourselves. Over time, however, the idea of "boy math" and "girl math" has taken on a whole new life. Instead of being silly, these posts have become more demeaning and condescending. While much of this new stuff is pretty dark, I wanted to share one that nearly made me spit my coffee out in laughter. 

"Boy math is being afraid of gold diggers when you only have three pairs of socks to your name."

I digress. While the original idea of girl math and boy math are generally innocent, we should shine a light on the overarching risk here. We humans love to play psychological tricks on ourselves to justify our decisions. It's one thing to do it, but it becomes something even more significant when we start to normalize, rationalize, and encourage it. 

I see the implications of boy math and girl math every day. I watch couples play mental gymnastics with themselves to justify all sorts of self-sabotaging behavior. Here's the good news. We can kill boy math and girl math in our life. Just knowing we're subject to these psychological effects can allow us to be more self-aware and make better decisions. 

At the heart of this is our desire to remove guilt. When we can justify a decision, it allows us to scrap the guilt and replace it with satisfaction. My encouragement is to face reality on reality's terms. Call something what it is, understand the true reason for our desires, and understand the actual cost of this decision at face value. Then, we can make the best decision for us. No guilt, no second-guessing, no games. If it adds more value (to us) than it costs, it's part of the budget, and we're not going into debt, then do it!

It Doesn’t Have to Make Sense

I love, love, love when people make decisions that fly in the face of our prevailing culture. Decisions that make people scratch their heads. Decisions that cause our loved ones to question our sanity. Decisions that lead others to talk behind our backs.

One of my friends recently made such a decision. As he was living out the final years of his career, he decided to make a drastic shift. He was perched at the helm of a fairly prestigious position at a notable institution, presumably set to coast out the remaining few years of his career in comfort before riding off into the sunset.

Today, he's settling into a new career at a new organization. Instead of coasting in comfort, he's diving head-first into discomfort. He could have taken an easy path toward the finish line, but he's choosing the road less traveled. This was a significantly counter-cultural decision, which was not lost on him as he contemplated his next steps.

Does he regret it? Did he make a mistake? Did it blow up in his face? I recently had the opportunity to ask him about it. He couldn't be happier! He's challenged in entirely new ways and, in a sense, starting over. This is the irony of pursuing meaning. In one hand, there is comfort, ease, and security. In the other hand, there is discomfort, challenge, risk, and stress.......oh yeah, and meaning! Meaning rarely comes with the prior, and almost always comes with the latter.

I hope I have his courage when I reach that point in my career. The world says to coast to the finish line (as quickly as possible). My friend said, "Nah, I prefer meaning." Well, he probably didn't actually say that, but in my mind, that's what he said.

I can't wait to see how the next chapter in his story is written! It doesn’t have to make sense. The best stories rarely do.

Celebrate the Wins

Like millions of Americans, this one particular couple has a ton of debt. Frankly, it feels overwhelming. It's the type of debt that feels suffocating and can paralyze you from even knowing where to begin.

However, unlike millions of Americans, this couple has a plan. More importantly, they have the conviction that their plan can and will work. One year in, and so far so good. They've already paid off a half dozen small debts and are moving on to some larger ones.

They are on a challenging journey, no doubt. Nothing about paying off a ton of debt is easy, which is why very few families actually do it. It takes discipline, patience, delayed gratification, and a whole lot of motivation.

Whenever someone tackles this sort of endeavor, I always give one particular tip. Celebrate the wins. All the wins. When you pay off a small debt, celebrate small. When you pay off a large debt, celebrate large. But always celebrate. Maybe it's dinner at a nice restaurant. Maybe it's a weekend away. Maybe it's a trip to the spa. Maybe it's ______ (you fill in the blank). But always celebrate!

It sounds counter-intuitive to spend money on wants when trying to pay off debt, but we need to zoom out and look at the big picture. If we stay 100% laser-focused and never celebrate, there's a high likelihood we'll burn out and possibly quit. This is an arduous journey, after all. Those little celebrations can be the refresher we need to keep fighting.

I think back to when Sarah and I were on our $236,000 debt payoff journey. It took us 4.5 years to achieve it. We celebrated every single win. If we hadn't, one of us would have broken down on the journey. The most noteworthy celebration was an amazing trip to Europe. Weird, I know. We were about 12 months away from completing our debt payoff journey, but we were exhausted. We were fighting so aggressively that we were practically burning ourselves out. That's when we decided to take drastic measures.

What ensued was a two-week trip to five countries, where we created lifelong memories. It set us back by about two months in our debt payoff journey, but it's just what we needed. One could argue we should have gotten out of debt first, but the counter-argument is that we might not have made it without that break. So, we celebrated!

This is yet another example of why money is NEVER about money. It's always about something bigger. If Sarah and I had stuck by the pure math and made it solely about money, we might have burned out and failed at our mission. Instead, we took this trip, made unforgettable memories, and successfully completed our $236,000 journey just over a year later. I will always love and cherish that story.

Always celebrate those wins! It may be the make-or-break in achieving your goals....and it's fun!

A Posture of Gratitude

Every morning, we take a posture into our day. While no day will be perfect, and most days will surely throw us some unsavory curveballs, our posture will play a more significant role in how our day goes than the external forces that hit us. 

I wish I could say I always get this right....I don't. Somedays I wake up on the wrong side of the bed and step into my day with a poor attitude. Even good days turn sour when I do that. However, most days, I try to approach it with a posture of service and generosity. Those days are usually pretty killer. 

Today, I have a posture of gratitude. Yesterday was the final of three speaking opportunities in the last five days. And man, it was awesome! I have been anticipating yesterday for over a year, and it felt great to finally get the opportunity. Despite all the speaking success in the last five days, it was far from perfect. Between each speaking engagement were fires, mishaps, emergencies, hurting clients, deadlines, and mistakes. Impact isn't usually pretty. It's not some clean, perfect little package with a bow on it like social media would have us believe. It can be ugly and messy. Gratitude covers a lot of that up, though.

I'm grateful for Ankeny Young Professionals for inviting me to speak. 

I'm grateful for On With Life for hosting the event and for all the amazing work they are doing. I could have just restructured my entire talk and used them as THE example of what it looks like to pursue meaning. 

I'm grateful for all the wonderful people who came out to listen to the talk. Wow, that room was packed!

I'm grateful for Daily Meaning reader (and my new friend!), Gretchen, for driving to Ankeny to attend the event and meet me. Gretchen, our time together was one of the highlights of my week! Thank you!

I'm grateful for my team, who helped make this all possible:

• Jordan, for the sharp visuals.

• Parker, for the fantastic video work.

• Rebekah, for keeping my head on straight (this is a tall order!).

• Claire, for the wonderful social media.

• Alyssa, for ensuring I kept enough margin in my calendar to prepare and be mentally healthy.

As I mentioned in my talk, we can't do it alone.....and luckily, we don't have to. I would be nothing without my team.

I'm grateful for many friends (and my wife) who showed up to see me speak. It was the first time in several years that my wife attended one of my talks. That meant a lot to me.

I'm grateful for the many failures that have shaped me into who I am today. Without those terrible, gut-wrenching experiences, I couldn't be truly grateful for what I do have. Also, those failure stories make for great content for people to laugh at!

Lastly, I'm grateful for you for reading! It means more than you know!

Gratitude. Always gratitude.

The Admission Price

Later today, I'll be giving a talk to a group of young professionals. I couldn't be more excited. Also, I couldn't be more scared. This is my paradox with public speaking. It's simultaneously my greatest joy and my greatest fear. I could eliminate the fear, but it would require me to remove the joy. Or I can have the joy and keep the fear. See the dilemma?

"Comfort is the enemy of progress, and failure is the admission price to success."

This is one of my favorite parts of the talk. These words seem to strike others as much as they do me. It's a scary reality we all must face. We can have comfort.....if we're willing to give up progress. We can remove failure.....if we simply stop trying.

I love watching people fail. Not because I'm some type of weirdo (I don't think, anyway). I love watching people fail because it means they are trying to do something difficult, something that matters. When they fail, they aren't really failing. They are learning, growing, and moving the ball forward. It doesn't feel great, but that's why it's the admission price.

If I wanted to avoid failure today, I could have stayed home. There's zero chance I could embarrass myself or fall flat on my face if I just don't go. There's also zero chance I would make an impact.

Will I fall flat on my face? Will I make an impact? Will I perhaps do both? Stay tuned. I'll be sure to give you a full report soon. But enough about me. What about you? Where do you need to walk that tightrope of comfort and progress, failure and success? I know you know. It's the thing that lives just below the surface. Every now and then, it pops its head out. But it's really, really uncomfortable, so we push it back down. We know we should go for it, but life is simpler and more comfortable if we don't.

Whatever you do, I hope you decide to pay the admission price!

It’s About More Than the Product

Though I'm firmly cemented in the dot com generation (and live fully into all of the stereotypes), there's nothing better to me than a good old-fashioned newspaper. Sitting down with a paper and a coffee is my definition of relaxation. After a two-year hiatus, I recently decided to subscribe to a print newspaper. In my opinion, the Wall Street Journal is the most well-rounded, unbiased publication on the market. Therefore, that was my paper of choice.

The first day of delivery was glorious! Unlike the last time I subscribed, it showed up right at my doorstep (instead of me having to play Where's Waldo around a 3-house radius). I had my paper. I had my coffee. I had my relaxation. I was one happy man.....for a few days.

Then, something happened. I quickly realized the paper was getting delivered at 8:30 or 9:00 AM, significantly later than desired. Not only did I not get to read it while relaxing before work, but I didn't even have the opportunity to take it with me. To make matters worse, the weekend edition gets delivered one day late. I wake up on Saturday morning to enjoy my weekend reading, only to realize there is none. I'm already at church by the time they deliver it on Sunday. Therefore, I don't even see the weekend edition until Sunday afternoon.

Ok, rant over. Sorry, didn't mean to cry a river there. Here's where I'm going with this. The Wall Street Journal is a wonderful paper. I very much enjoy the Wall Street Journal. It's worth every penny I pay for it. HOWEVER, it's about more than the product. Even if the product is amazing (like the WSJ), the other aspects of the relationship matter just as much. Despite having a significantly superior product (my opinion) at a reasonable price (also my opinion), it's simply not worth it if they don't deliver it promptly.

It makes me think about Apple. I love Apple products. While Apple makes some of the best products in the world, it's about more than the product. From the unique layout and structure their retail stores, to the streamlined user-interface experience, to the unparalleled customer service. Did I mention the packaging?!?! Have you ever unboxed an Apple product? That experience alone is amazing. Apple understands it's about more than the product. Apple understands you need a world-class product AND excellence in all the other areas around it.

I think about this idea a lot. While we're trying to be excellent, work hard, and make an impact, what are we missing? Do we deliver good work but show up late every day? Are we good to work with but terrible to work for? Do we get our work done quickly, but it's full of errors? Do we make stellar choices on our big financial decisions but squander it away on all the little ones? Do we have a glaring blind spot amidst otherwise excellent work?

Something to think about today.

Migraines For the Loss

I get crushed with a crippling migraine about 4-6 times per year. I never see them coming, but they hit me like a brick wall. I just experienced two in the last seven days, including last night. As I'm laying in bed trying to rally, it's made me reflect about an idea.

On one hand, I can't control these stupid things. They come out of nowhere and obliterate my health, progress, and well-being. I feel like a victim of some arbitrary affliction that causes havoc in my life.

On the other hand, some clear themes are present whenever I get struck with a migraine. Traits such as lack of sleep, poor nutrition, less physical activity, and heightened stress. Oh crap, all things I control! Though I can't control these migraines, I DO control the contributing factors that seem to trigger them.

That's the tension we all face. We're all subject to "bad luck," misfortune, and unforeseen issues. It's easy to play victim and throw our hands in the air. However, if we were to be really honest with ourselves, we DO have control over so many of the little factors that may contribute to these outcomes.

Something worth pondering today. I know I am as I'm laying here trying to recover from a very bad time. Hope you have a great day!

Once You See It

Do you recognize this logo? Of course, it's the KFC logo! Most of us grew up with this logo in our lives, and its tasty fried chicken in our bellies. It's one of the most recognizable brands and logos in American culture. However, a few years ago, someone told me something that would forever change my life (ok, that's a bit of an over exaggeration). Are you ready for it? Ready for me to rock your world? Colonel Sanders's bow tie isn't a bow tie, but a little stick figure with arms and legs. Can you see it? No, the more important question is if you can unsee it. After spending my entire life knowing it's a bow tie, all I can see now is a big mellon on a tiny little stick body. Once you see it, you can't unsee it.

This same concept applies to many financial concepts in our lives. We spend our entire lives believing something is one way, until we see it differently. Then once we do, we can never go back to seeing it the old way. 

• After being vehemently against budgeting for nearly two decades, one of my clients recently stated they can't image living another month without one. 

• Another client has lived his entire life believing the stock market is risky. After learning the truth, he now views the stock market as a long-term no-brainer with practically zero risk of long-term loss.

• Many clients were raised to believe debt is just a fact of life.....until a different, healthier, and better reality is presented to them. 

• Most people perceive student loans as an inevitable and necessary evil if they send their kids to college. However, once I walk them through a different perspective and show it to them visually, it revolutionizes their prospective reality. 

I could list a few dozen more examples, but I don't want to beat a dead horse. The fun part about this once-you-see-it concept is that it doesn't require magic or much work to make it happen. Take the KFC logo, for instance. All I did was share an idea, and all you did was digest the idea. Then boom (!!!), Colonel Sanders will forever be a big ol' head on a tiny stick body. 

Just think of the possibilities, then. We're only limited by our willingness and desire to be curious. Curious people experience life change. Non-curious people find excuses. This is one of the primary reasons I write this blog each day. If I can share an interesting idea with just one curious person, the potential for change is on the table. 

As you go about your day today, ask yourself what tightly-held ideas you need to get curious about. Your curiosity may affirm the perspective you already hold. However, it may unlock an entirely new perspective. Once you see it......

Protecting Yourself From Yourself

As much as we try, we humans are experts in the art of self-sabotage. Sometimes, we're oblivious to it, while other times, we know exactly what we do. Yet, we can't help but sabotage our own well-being. 

• Hitting the snooze button instead of going to the gym.

• Showing up to work late.

• Sneaking that tasty little snack right before bed.

• Insert countless financial versions here!

As I often tell my clients, we must protect ourselves from ourselves. It's not because we're weak, but rather because we are smart. Well, maybe we are weak......which means we need to be smart!

An example of this popped up with a client this week. This particular client struggles to keep their grocery spending in check. Sound familiar? They budget a reasonable number, have clarity on how much they are spending as the month wears on, and desperately want to stay within budget. Yet, they fail. Every. Single. Month. 

In our most recent meeting, I told them they desperately need to protect themselves from themselves. I can relate to this exact issue! We love food. If left to our own devices, my family would spend every cent on food. We can't do that, though. Sticking to the plan is a non-negotiable. 

Here's the idea I put on the table for this couple. They should open a CashApp account, which is an app that acts like its own little bank account. It connects directly to your personal bank account, so you can add or subtract money anytime. It also provides you with a debit card. Once set up, this would be their grocery account. Here's why this can be a powerful tool to protect themselves from themselves:

• You must intentionally load it with whatever dollar amount you choose. Therefore, once you budget for $x for groceries, you will deposit the money with just a few clicks. 

• Once the money is living in CashApp, you can see an up-to-the-minute balance. If you swipe your debit card in the store, the balance adjusts within 10 seconds. You always have 100% clarity. 

• It doesn't allow you to overdraft. If you have $44 in your CashApp and you try to purchase $44.01 worth of merchandise, it declines you. There's no way to overspend. 

• When the money is gone, it's gone. This is a powerful lesson. No, your family won't die. Rather, it forces you to get creative and dive a bit deeper into the pantry and freezer. We've had several "interesting" months in our house. Something powerful happens when we commit to the plan. 

• Having only one transaction for groceries (the original deposit each month) eliminates the need to continually track these expenses. It's all housed in the app with a pretty little bow. 

It sounds simple....because it is. And it can change everything! Despite groceries being one of our most challenging categories, we haven't overspent in nearly a decade. There's just one reason for this: we protect ourselves from ourselves. 

What do you need to protect yourself from yourself from? 

Some Words Stick

While in Los Angeles earlier this week, I had an unexpected but refreshing interaction. A woman approached me and said, "You're the 12% guy!!!" I had no idea what she was talking about, to be honest. She went on to explain how she saw me speak at an event earlier in the year. It was regarding a story I told about my first meeting with my friend, Gary Hoag. Here was the interaction:

Gary: "Are you generous?"

Me: "Yes I am!"

Gary: "Why do you say that?"

Me: "Because I give 12%, and 12 is more than 10." #facepalm

Gary went on to explain how true generosity isn't a number, but rather the product of giving joyfully and sacrificially.....which contextually looks different for everyone. In my case, 12% wasn't sacrificial at all. I share how Gary's words in this conversation profoundly changed the trajectory of my life.

I often use this story in my talks for a few reasons:

1) To highlight a healthy biblical perspective of giving: joyfully and sacrificially.

2) We need to be genuine and occasionally laugh at ourselves

3) It shows how we all can grow in our generosity.....even naive and selfish people like younger me.

As this woman told me the story, she concluded by expressing how that talk completely changed her perspective on giving. More importantly, she was able to let go of so much guilt and self-talk. Or, as she put it, "For the first time, I was able to give from a place of joy."

Some words stick. Not all of them, and certainly not for all people.....but some do! Words have the power to transform lives. The problem is we never know which will be the right words for the right person. I'm grateful this woman shared her story with me. I often speak or type with the confidence that some of my words might stick, but I rarely know for certain if they do. These little reminders fill me with much joy and encouragement.

Also, notice the multiplication effect of our words. Gary has shared his perspective of generosity with tens of thousands of people. Many have surely disregarded him, but it changed my life forever. Years later, due to his work in my life, I'm sharing similar words with entirely new audiences. Many will disregard me, but it made a difference in this woman's life. That's multiplication!

The same goes for you. Your words are important....oh so important! Many will fall on deaf ears, but some will stick. I pray that somewhere along the journey, you'll get these sweet little reminders from people that your words are, in fact, making a difference. Keep planting seeds. Keep doing the hard work. Keep encouraging. Keep picking others up when they can't pick themselves up. Keep showing up, even when it feels pointless. Keep making a difference, because it matters!

The First Slice is the Best!

On my flight yesterday, I had a front-row seat to a little family struggle. Here's how it played out. Mom, Dad, and 12ish-year-old son sit down right in front of me. They had to hurry from one flight to the next, but they were able to grab some food and bring it onto the plane. After the plane took off, the mother distributed the food. Side note: it looked absolutely delicious. A while later, the son decided he was full after eating about 2/3 of the meal. He looked satisfied and content. The mother, clearly annoyed, chewed him out and said it was wrong for him to waste food. She made him eat the remaining 1/3, after which he seemed stuffed and miserable. 

As I'm writing this, I keep oddly thinking about pumpkin pie. Maybe it's the fact fall is in the air, but I couldn't be more excited to slam some pumpkin pie soon. The correct whip cream-to-pie ratio is 1:1, by the way. Anyway, the holidays are quickly approaching, and soon, that pie will be mine! Eating that first slice of pie is going to be outstanding. That second slice won't be as amazing, but I'll also enjoy the heck out of it. The third slice? That one will start to feel iffy. And the rest of the pie? If I were to put down the rest of it, you'd have to carry me to the hospital.

How can the first slice of pie sound so amazing, but the eighth slice sound absolutely unbearable? It's called the law of diminishing returns. The more we have of something, the less satisfying it becomes. That's where we get the saying, "Too much of a good thing." Whether it's the young guy on the plane or me slamming Thanksgiving pumpkin pie, we're all impacted by this phenomenon. Everyone over the age of 12 intuitively understands this concept, especially when it comes to food. 

However, we have a blind spot. It's called materialism. 

• When we get our first iPhone, it revolutionizes how we engage with people and access information! However, when the newest model comes out next year, and we spend our hard-earned money to upgrade, we're barely getting anything for the money.

• When we take that long-awaited vacation with our family, it's an amazing, creating lifelong memories experience. However, when we take our 6th vacation of the year, it becomes just another trip. 

• When we finally build up an adequate emergency fund to protect our family from a serious life situation, it's a tremendously relieving feeling. However, when we endeavor to double or triple that number, we feel only slightly more secure. 

Without realizing it, we work our way into too much of a good thing. Everywhere we look, the law of diminishing returns is knocking on the door. We can ignore it and keep falling for the trap, or we can open the door, admit we're prone to these psychological influences, and make more intentional choices. 

Now, where's that pumpkin pie?

To Coffee or Not to Coffee

We had a fantastic event last night in Los Angeles. I couldn't have been more grateful to be in that room. One of the points I wanted to drive home was the importance of each person spending their values. Not the values of their neighbors, family, co-workers, or the underlying culture. This seems obvious, but most people subconsciously spend other people's values.

To illustrate this, I used a story I've previously shared on this blog. A young woman comes to me, frustrated with her situation. She's a young adult with a good career, but she’s discontent. Ever since college, her dream was to travel. However, two years into her career, she still hadn't traveled.

She had a fairly expensive car (with hefty payments to go with it), so I asked her about it. She said she didn't really care about the car. Her parents told her she needed something "reliable," which led her down this path. She was also living in a fairly high-end apartment. Again, she said she really didn't care much about it. It's where many of her close friends live, so it seemed the right place for her.

While she believed she was spending her values, I showed her how her two most significant expenses in life directly resulted from her living her parents' and friends' values. Shortly thereafter, she sold the car and moved into a cheaper apartment, opening the door for lots and lots of travel (you know, her values).

When we got to the Q&A portion of the night, I asked the audience what expenses in their budget DON'T add value to their life. There were many good answers, but two women almost simultaneously shouted "coffee." One of the women explained how she often goes to Starbucks, and it's always a ripoff to her. It doesn't add nearly as much value as it costs her.

It reminded me of a post I wrote a few weeks ago about a woman who finds tremendous value in her 7-days-per-week $7 lattes. These women have the complete opposite opinion about the very same purchase. One says it's the biggest waste of money, while the other calls it the biggest bargain and value-add in her life.

This is the beauty of how we're all wired differently. It's also a perfect representation of why it's important to lean into our unique values. If we do, it drives meaning. If we don't, it causes discontentment. It's the same $7 purchase, but one adds and one subtracts.

Here's my question today. What's one thing you spend money on that doesn't add value to your life? For me, it's fast food when I'm scrambling from place to place. I love the occasional fast food meal, but I get absolutely no enjoyment from it when it's done out of stress and hurry. I need to cut those from my spending.

That's my answer. What about you? I hope you have a meaningful day, living in accordance with your values!

Earning the Right: Part 2

In yesterday’s post, I discussed the importance of making enough money to pay the bills. If we earn “enough,” we get the right to do it again next month. For this reason, money isn’t irrelevant in the meaning over money dynamic. Earning enough money affords us the opportunity to continue walking down the path of meaning in our day-to-day lives. My inbox has been flooded with responses. The most prevalent feedback is from people who “feel bad” about charging for their work when they love it so much. They would probably do it for free if they could. But that’s the problem. To continue serving others with their beautiful gifts, they must charge enough to keep the financial train on the tracks. Therefore, charging a reasonable price for their work is a good and noble thing. If we believe this, it changes everything!

Today’s post is a different angle on this “earn the right” concept. It’s one thing to charge people for your work, but another for people to want what you’re selling. Just because you say something is worth $x, it doesn’t mean it is. The tell is whether people want to pay you what you say it’s worth. If they do, it is….if they don’t, it’s not. Again, this is an earned privilege. We must add more value to the customer than what we charge them. If we do that, they will likely be happy. That’s only the first half of the equation, though. Let’s say someone trusted us enough to exchange their hard-earned money for our product/service. The next question is, did we earn the right to serve them again? It’s one thing to try something once, but it’s an entirely different thing to go back again, and again, and again. That requires us to add value, exceed expectations, treat them well, and build trust…..then repeat.

Later today, I’ll be delivering a talk in Los Angeles. It’s a slightly different version of the talk I did in June for the same organization. I’m also scheduled to do it a third time in January. I’m tremendously grateful for the opportunity, and I don’t take it for granted. I know for a fact this wouldn’t have happened had I not earned the right to do it again. If I performed poorly the first time, or was difficult to work with, or simply wasn’t perceived as “worth it,” I wouldn’t be here. They know that and I know that. Every time I step up to the plate, whether it’s a talk, a podcast, a blog post, or a coaching meeting, I’m giving it my best in hopes of earning the right to do it again. If I publish crappy blog posts, you’ll stop reading. If I produce lame podcast episodes, listeners will unsubscribe. If I deliver a bad talk, I won’t get invited again. And if I don’t serve my coaching clients well, they will fire me (and rightfully so!).

Every day, we must earn the right to serve them again.

Earning the Right: Part 1

The idea that "money doesn't matter" is naive at best, and misleading at worst. Even in the world of Meaning Over Money, it doesn't mean meaning=100 and money=0. Here's why. At the end of the day, we need to feed our families. We live in a world that requires us to financially care for ourselves. Failing to do so has some pretty dire consequences.

As such, living a life full of meaning, but failing to provide the basic needs for our family, flat-out doesn't work. It's a recipe for disaster. Yeah, I'm all about the pursuit of meaning. However, if we can't figure out how to pay the bills in the process, we lose the right to pursue this path. Completely disregarding money isn't the answer.

Three factors are at play when building a sustainable, meaningful life. We must combine our skills, with our passions, in a way that's profitable. Skills and passion without profit is a hobby. Passion and profit without skills will lead to failure. Skills and profit without passion will result in a job we merely tolerate (or worse). But if we can combine all three? That's a beautiful situation. When I say "profitble," I'm not suggesting we need to be Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk. Rather, I'm suggesting we make enough.

Enough. What does "enough" even mean? To me, it means earning the right to do it again. When I make enough this month, I earn the right to serve those who I wish to serve again next month. This is so important, and this is why so many entrepreneurs, freelancers, and solopreneurs fail. They don't fail because they are bad at their craft. They fail because they didn't earn the right to keep doing their craft.

The meaning over money angle comes into play in the curation of our lifestyle, which determines what enough is. Suppose we lean too much into the materialistic side of things. More debt, more expenses, more obligations. In that case, we raise the financial bar so high that we don't have a chance to combine skills, passions, and profit in a way that's enough. Therefore, our desire for stuff ultimately overpowers our pursuit of meaning. I see this happen again, and again, and again.

So next time you find yourself struggling to charge what you're worth or creating a revenue from your skills and passions, just remember you're not being selfish or greedy. You’re trying to earn the right to continue doing it. If you don't, you rob yourself and those who you serve. So, you charging what is fair and just is a noble, good thing. It's the prerequisite to the path of meaningful work. Don't be scared of that....embrace it!

Spice-It-Up Challenge

When it comes to financial giving, most people fall into one of two camps:

1. It doesn't really exist

2. It's methodical and/or unemotional

I feel for those who don't have generosity in their lives. They don't know what they are missing! There's sincerely nothing better we can do with money than give it away. There are multiple reasons why people don't have giving in their life:

• It was never modeled for them

• They don't believe it's their responsibility to help others

• They'd rather spend it on themselves

• They are jaded because of a negative past experience

• They think they can't afford it

If you fall into one or more of these categories, I implore you to give generosity a chance. Giving will change our lives more than the recipients'. It will rock your world!

On the flip side, many people give, but do so methodically....and largely unemotional. They may have their giving on auto-pilot, or at least know where, how much, and when their gifts will be made. Giving is a regular (or semi-regular) part of their life, but it's not given deep consideration. Some give out of guilt, others out of a sense of obligation, and some for more noble reasons. Whatever this looks like, however, it doesn't usually play a significant role in their day-to-day lives. 

Givers, I think we need to spice things up a little. Giving should be the most enjoyable part of our financial life. If it's not, we're doing something wrong. I love that you give. Props to you for giving in the first place! But, and it's a big but, you deserve better! You deserve to find meaning, joy, and first-hand impact with your giving. You deserve to feel your giving.

So today, I have a challenge for you. Let's call it the spice-it-up challenge. Whatever day you're reading this, I challenge you to take $10 and find a unique way to give it away. It can be more than $10, but it doesn't need to be. How you use this money is up to you. Maybe it's a stranger you see at the grocery store, or the barista at your favorite coffee shop, or someone at church who's been struggling, or even a friend.

It can't be the same giving you always do. After all, this is the spice-it-up challenge......the name alone requires creativity and spontaneity. There are only a few prerequisites:

• It has to be unique.

• You have to care avou the purpose of the gift.

• You must be able to experience the impact of your gift (which may require anonymity). 

• It has to make you smile.

This is a beautiful act to practice. And just like anything else, we get better with practice. This has been a regular part of my life for about seven years. If I'm having a crappy day, I stop what I'm doing and find an opportunity to creatively give to someone. It never fails; that ALWAYS turns my mood around. 

Ready. Set. Go spice it up!

Letting the Wins Add Up

I recently received a call from a friend. He had a question. “I just got a $110k inheritance that’s sitting in my checking account. I need it in about a year for ______. I feel like I should do something with it between now and then. Do you have any good investing ideas?” It was an interesting question, and I had an immediate idea for him. 

I explained that if he opens a Vanguard taxable brokerage account, and deposits the cash but doesn’t actually invest it, he would receive risk-free monthly interest payments of about $500. I was anticipating an excited, dare I say giddy, response. However, he reacted with complete disinterest. “Nah, doesn’t seem worth the hassle.” Not knowing what his hangup was, I responded that I’d be happy to sit down with him to set it up…..it would only take 15 minutes or so. Again, he declined, stating it wasn’t worth the time and effort for “only five hundred bucks per month.” In a last-ditch attempt to change his mind, I reminded him it’s 100% risk-free, and he could take the money out whenever he wants. No bueno. He ended the conversation by saying he has a buddy with some good stock tips he might look into. Put another way, he just gave up $6,000+ of income that would have taken him a maximum of 15 minutes of his time……ouch!

Sometimes we’re so busy looking for the life-changing opportunity that we miss the little wins available to us along the way. Perhaps $500/month wouldn’t change his life, but what if he made this decision, then the next one, then the next one? Wins add up, big or small. Occasionally, I’ll take an inventory of a client’s wins over 6, 12, or 18 months. I’ll take stock of all the little choices they made and the net result of them. Each win, in and of itself, feels small. However, when viewed through a wider lens of cumulative impact, these small wins account for a significant shift in their finances. 

Mind those little wins. They add up fast!

This man’s story doesn’t directly impact you, but perhaps his non-decision raises your eyebrows. Yes, you can get a risk-free 5.25% by simply depositing money into a Vanguard taxable brokerage account. No strings, no commitments, no risk. Here’s how you do it:

• Go to www.vanguard.com

• Open a taxable brokerage account

• Transfer your money into your new Vanguard account

• DON’T invest it. Just let it sit there. 

• Watch the interest payments land in your account on the last day of each month.

• Transfer money back to your bank account whenever you want.

Or you can just shoot me a message and I’ll help you! It’s quick and easy.

We Don’t (Completely) Live on an Island

It sometimes feels like we're living on an island. Whenever we talk about such crazy ideas as pursuing work that matters, not keeping up with the Joneses, and practicing radical generosity, criticism and hate start rolling in. I feel it daily, but I regularly get stories from you about the harsh words and criticism you receive.

One of you left your job to pursue a career that makes a bigger impact, and a family member called you "irresponsible." Another one of you sold your fancy car and downsized your house, and people started asking if you were broke. Another person stopped hoarding money and started giving significantly more, and their colleague responded with, "Your kids deserve better." I could rattle off another dozen of these stories.

It can feel lonely at times, but community changes everything. Every time I absorb some online hate (which has slowed down in recent months), I immediately get an e-mail from one of you with an incredible story about your own journey. It's easy to dwell on the haters, while simultaneously glossing over the people who are right there alongside you. We're all on this journey together, and I couldn't be more grateful. I was reminded of this fact when a friend texted the name of a song, along with the message, "You write this song?" I had no idea what he was talking about, so off to Google I went. It’s called Bigger Houses by Dan + Shay.

Check out these lyrics:

Used to dream about buying that bigger house

Sitting on top of some hill

Losing sleep about filling my bank account

Wondering if I ever will

But the older I get, I just care less and less

'Bout keeping up with people named Jones

If you don't fill it up with somebody that you love

It ain't ever gonna feel like home

There's always gonna be a higher high

You could chase for the rest of your life

Greener grass in the yard next door

Or a shined up Chevy little newer than yours

You're never gonna fill an empty cup

If what you got's still not enough

The thing about happiness I've found is

It don't live in bigger houses

I can hear the kids making little footsteps

Running down the hallway upstairs

I can see the dogs playing in the back yard

Through the kitchen window right there

Maybe life's kinda more 'bout us swinging on a porch

Holding her while the sun disappears

Why would I wanna be anywhere else in the world

When my whole world is sitting right here?

Wow! It's so fun to know others are spreading the meaning over money message. Here's the fun part. We don't need to be a world-renowned band to have a platform. We all have a platform. We all have people watching us. That's an amazing opportunity.....and a huge responsibility. We can model money, or we can model meaning. If you're one of the hundreds who read this blog literally daily, I suspect you're probably in the meaning camp.

It sometimes feels like we're living on an island. That's probably not entirely true, but if it is, let's invite others to join the party! There's room for everyone on this island!