You Just Never Know

Just a handful of years ago, I was at a high school girls' basketball game cheering on some of my youth group kids. They were playing against one of their biggest rivals, which is always a fun game to watch. It was one of those years where their rival had a really solid team, led by a uniquely talented player. I remember watching that game and thinking, “I bet she’ll have some success at the next level.” My suspicions were right, but I was also so wrong. Not only would she “have some success.”, but she would go on to become the best women’s basketball player in the world. Caitlin Clark, man! Dare I say she’s literally transforming the game? It’s absolutely unbelievable. I never thought I’d see the day when I’d put a women’s basketball game on my calendar and DVR so I wouldn’t miss it…..and for it to be my most hated team, nonetheless. It’s like a Yankee fan getting excited to cheer on the Red Sox. It just doesn’t happen. But here we are! You just never know.

Life is funny like that. So many things in our journey can feel like that. Maybe not to the Caitlin Clark level, but to some degree of special. In the rare moments when I stop to think about all we’ve been through and all that’s happened, I have to shake my head in disbelief. Never in a million years did I even dream about some of these things. Last night was one of those nights. Our coffee company, Northern Vessel, just partnered with the Iowa Cubs (AAA affiliate of the Chicago Cubs) to become the official coffee of the team and stadium. They even asked our founder, TJ, to throw out the first pitch at the season opener. It was a surreal experience to enjoy the game with the Northern Vessel crew while sipping on a Northern Vessel coffee. If you would have asked me even one year ago, I never would have imagined any of this being part of my life. You just never know.

I think there’s a common thread between Caitlin Clark, Northern Vessel, my journey, and your journey. We just have to keep moving forward. In the midst of it, it never feels sexy, or glamorous, or even worth it. We just put one foot in front of the other, do the right things for the right reasons, doing the hard work. Maybe it clicks, and maybe it doesn’t. Many things don’t click…..but some do. But we’ll never know until we do the work. This is what I love about stories like Caitlin Clark’s. You just never know.

It's Never Too Late (or Too Early)

Young adults have an amazing opportunity when it comes to getting control over their finances. So many things are working in their favor:

• Their financial life is probably the simplest it will ever be. Maybe not as many debts or other entanglements…..yet. Maybe not married……yet. Maybe not a homeowner……yet. Maybe not settled into a higher standard of living…..yet. Life typically gets more complicated as we age, so in theory young adults are living their simplest life.

• They haven’t yet developed deeply-seeded bad habits. Sure, there may be bad habits present. However, they haven’t had years (or decades) to become engrained into their life.

• They have so much time on the other side of getting their finances right. Let’s just say it takes a 24-year-old young professional 12 months to get their finances in order. That still gives them 50+ good years to thrive on the other side of the hard work. What an opportunity!

These are the reasons I love working with young adults. So much opportunity! On the flip side, the inverse of this is why I love it so much when older clients get their finances right. Their lives are more complex, they have to battle deeply-seeded bad habits, and they have less time on the other side of the transformation. All these factors combine for one inevitable outcome: a massive reason to celebrate and acknowledge a stunning win.

I have one client who is on the precipice of achieving a significant win. The win in and of itself is special. But what makes it even more special is the fact they spent multiple decades doing it the wrong way. They dug a deep hole, financially, relationally, mentally, and emotionally. Then, they decided to reverse course! After nearly two years of sacrifice, intentionality, and unity, they are nearing a point where their lives are fundamentally changing. Never again will they have to deal with what they dealt with for the last two decades. Everything can and will be different from here on out. It’s a weird idea to wrap their head around.

Their biggest roadblock to beginning this journey was the feeling it was too late for them. They were too old and too deep in their mess…..so why bother? The moment they believed it wasn’t too late was the moment they knew it was time to act. They wish they would have started earlier, but they are where they are.

It’s never too late…..or too early. If there’s something in your life that’s “too late,” no it’s not. Sure, it would have been nice to start 1 year, 5 years, or 10 years ago. You can’t go back in time, but you can start now.

Generous Tomorrow, Generous Today

A very common line of thinking I observe with people is this notion of building wealth today…..then being generous down the road (*if/when/after they achieve a yet-to-be-determined level of wealth, income, or other financial achievements to be named at a later date). It’s spoken as if building wealth or reaching a certain status is a prerequisite to generosity. While I disagree with this sentiment, I do think there is one prerequisite to generosity: having a pulse. Tall bar, I know. If we’re breathing, we should be generous…..period. Not IF we have a certain net worth. Not WHEN we’ve achieved a certain lifestyle. Not AFTER we’re attained a certain income. Generous today, wherever you are.

For this reason, I was absolutely delighted when I recently spent some time with a couple I had just met. I was completely enthralled by this conversation. I had spent a total of 15 minutes with them in my entire life, and I was ready to be their biggest cheerleader. Then, the wife said something that pushed me over the top. I’m paraphrasing, but she said something to the tune of, “we want to be generous tomorrow……..AND generous today.” YES!!! I about jumped out of my chair. This couple gets it, and their heart to serve others is contagious.

Somewhere along the road, our culture determined generosity is something we do IF/WHEN/AFTER we’ve achieved a specific set of milestones. Until then, we should live for ourselves and pursue the path toward “building wealth.” Instead of building up wealth through hoarding, what if we all took a page out of this couple’s playbook to build up others through generosity? As sure as the sky is blue, I believe it would change our culture from the inside out.

The sick, the poor, the abused, the hurt, the hungry, the cold, the vulnerable, the old, the young, and the lonely. They are here today. Luckily, so are you. Luckily, so am I. Let’s make a difference…..today.

Finance Bros and Tax Refunds

March is my favorite time of year. Warmer weather, March Madness, and arrogant finance bros on social media belittling people for getting tax refunds. “You just gave an interest-free loan to the government!!!” “What was the opportunity cost of those lost paychecks!?!?” “Screw the man!!!”

Yes, getting a tax refund means you paid more to the government throughout the year than you owed. Yes, that’s actually your money. Yes, you could have had a little more in your paycheck each month. All those things are true. Do you know what’s really scary, though? When you’re on the other side of the math and you get a surprise $2,000 bill from the government that you weren’t prepared for. That’s the reality for a lot of people. So many of my clients have experienced those types of situations in their past that they have some version of tax season PTSD.

The pendulum has been swinging the wrong direction in recent years. Many people, out of guilt or fear of making a “mistake”, are having too little withheld each month, resulting in them coming out on the negative side of tax return roulette. Never underestimate the power an unexpected debt to the Federal government can have on someone’s financial momentum. Wow!

So what’s the answer? Grossly over-withholding from our paychecks to create a massive tax refund each year? No, I don’t think that’s the answer, either. I’m suggesting most people would be well suited to get a modest refund each year that’s enough to pay their tax professional…..plus a little more. $500, or $1,000, or whatever you’re comfortable with. Here’s the key, though. Once that money comes in, do NOT treat it as a bonus. It’s deferred income, it’s your money. Put that money in your budget, be intentional with it, and let it add value to your life. If you feel like you’re flying blind each year and your tax refund status feels like a complete crapshoot, that’s a tell you need a trusted tax professional in your corner. I think EVERYONE should have one.

For all the finance bros that are earning a little interest on that money instead of “giving an interest-free loan to the government,” I hope you enjoy the $36 of interest you earned on it this year. Maybe even take the fam (and that roll of cash) to Chic-fil-a to celebrate! But when you do, please don’t demean everyone else for getting a tax refund. They are just trying to do good, keep the ship afloat, and not be on the receiving end of negative surprises. Happy tax season, y’all!

"But What Certifications!?!?"

I’ve shared this story with a handful of people, each of which who voiced their displeasure for me not blogging about it yet. So, here goes! A while back I met a couple who was potentially interested in pursuing a coaching relationship with me. When I asked them how they found me, they explained how multiple people in their lives have shared how their work with me has been transformational in their life. I’m always grateful for these stories, though I always feel like I get too much credit.

Needless to say, this couple came in hot and were excited about what a potential coaching relationship could do for them. The conversation was going great. They shared about their lives and aspirations, and I shared about my background and what coaching would/could look like. Then, it took an unexpected turn.

“What are your coaching credentials or certifications?”

“I don’t have any.”

“You have to have something! Did you go to school for this?”

“No”

“How do you know what you’re doing?”

“I’m not saying I do. Those other people said I do.”

“I’m not sure we can hire someone without any actual credentials”

“That’s totally ok. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t fully believe in. You have to be 100% comfortable and confident going into this, otherwise, it won’t work.”

Other than this being somewhat humorous, why am I sharing this? I think we often undervalue ourselves. We rely on a piece of paper, a title, or some letters behind our names to determine the value we offer the world. I’m not saying these things don’t matter. Rather, I’m saying what you already have to offer the world DOES matter. You don’t need someone else’s permission to make an impact. Not everyone will want what we have to offer, but lucky for us, we have neither the need nor the time to work with everyone. Our job is simply to serve those who wish to be served.

The world is full of people who are gifted at something. You’re probably one of them. There are countless skill sets that can be used to serve people in unique ways. You probably have one. There are millions of people who have unmet needs, just waiting to get a hand-up. You probably know some.

We don’t need permission. We need action.

**Side note: This couple DID decide to hire me and we’ve laughed (multiple times) about this story. They are killing it, by the way!!!

To Be Or Not To Be (Your Own Boss)

Yesterday, an interesting and unexpected topic came up in my high school money class. A few students mentioned wanting to someday start their own businesses. This is when another student made a few counter-cultural comments. She expressed her confusion about why so many people want to run their own businesses, citing their typical lack of enjoyment and lack of skillsets in the area of actually running the business. Many students were quick to defend the be-your-own-boss concept, citing freedom and control as primary reasons.

This is the moment the questioning student called foul, fairly pointing out that the whole “freedom” argument seems to be one of the few reasons people use to justify their decision to be their own boss. She smells what I oftentimes smell. Today’s culture says being your own boss is THE definition of success. There’s even a mantra that says “stop making other people rich” by quitting your job and becoming your own boss. I think this trend is far overblown….and quite toxic. It causes people to feel guilty about pursuing traditional employment. Today’s narrative is that working a traditional job is enslaving one’s self and limits your ability to have financial success. Both of these are brutal lies. Some of the happiest and most successful people I know have traditional jobs.

I believe this is one of the many reasons most small businesses fail. So many people start their own businesses out of a sense of need. They think that’s what they are supposed to do. Being your own boss is HARD….and we can be the worst bosses in the world. In my years coaching businesses, there’s a general truth that I can almost count on. Business owners are brilliant at their craft, but far from it on the business side of things. Many business owners wish they could offload the whole “run the business” piece of their life and focus on what they do best. That seems an awful lot like what people do in their traditional jobs.

I love small business. It’s rewarding, it’s hard, and it’s exciting. I can’t imagine doing anything else at this point in my life. However, at the same time, I recognize it’s not for everyone. I wish we, as a culture, would stop elevating it as the be-all-end-all for everyone. It’s not. For many, their traditional job will be their very best life…..and they shouldn’t feel one ounce of shame for that. Embrace it, enjoy it, and do your good work!

* We published a podcast episode about this topic almost two years ago. It’s titled 016 - The Toxic Notion Everyone Should Aspire to Be Their Own Boss. You can find it on APPLE, SPOTIFY, or wherever you get your podcasts.

"But I Care!!!!"

I’m on the board of directors for multiple organizations, or as a few of my mentors call it, “too many.” For me, there’s something special about non-profit organizations. It brings together a collection of people with different skills and different experiences, each willing to donate a ton of time with absolutely zero to gain in return. There’s something pure about it, but at the same time, it’s oftentimes excruciatingly chaotic.

In a recent meeting, we were in a heated discussion about something. I don’t even remember what it was about, but the general tone of the conversation was about how it didn’t really matter so we should just move on. In the midst of the back-and-forth, my friend Alexa shouted out, “But I care!!!” Truer words have never been spoken. Alexa does indeed care…..a lot! She’s one of those people who pours herself into the various things she works on. She cares deeply, and none of her care involves herself. She’s truly a selfless servant who simply believes in the mission.

I don’t always agree with Alexa’s perspectives, but man do I respect her. I could completely disagree with something she says, but her conviction and passion alone are sometimes enough to sway me. Over the years, I’ve found that organizations with Alexas thrive, while organizations without Alexas oftentimes just muddle along. This world needs more Alexas. Passion, focus, selflessness, and generosity.

There are no prerequisites to be an Alexa. It’s not a certain education, experience level, set of relationships, or skill set. All that’s needed is a deep desire for better and a strong belief in the mission. If someone has that, it’s enough to drive change.

Find yourself an Alexa, or better yet, be an Alexa.

Coming Full Circle in Omaha

I had an awesome time speaking at the Omaha YP Summit, the country’s largest young professionals conference. Nearly 1,600 people gathered from Omaha (and beyond) to connect, grow, learn, and have fun. I felt really good about my talk and was tremendously encouraged by the feedback.

The day opened with a talk by Ben Nemtin. Ben is widely considered one of the best public speakers in the world. I’ve been familiar with Ben since way back in the early days of my career, and some of you may as well. Ben and his buddies became a news sensation when they set off across America in an RV, checking items off their bucket list. Their agreement with each other was every time they crossed something off, they needed to help a stranger cross something off their list. Needless to say, this became a huge story. They went on to have their own show on MTV called The Buried Life.

I was young in my career when all this was happening. The next part is where I feel a bit sheepish. I have vivid memories of looking down on them, thinking what they were doing was silly. In my head was some version of, “grow up, get a job, and make some money.” After all, that’s what culture says to do……and that’s exactly what I was doing.

Fast forward nearly 20 years, and I’m sitting just off stage, watching Ben share his story with this huge audience. I absolutely loved Ben’s talk. He was funny, moving, and inspirational. Here’s the full-circle moment. The guy who looked down on Ben all those years ago (me!) was the same guy who was about to deliver a somewhat parallel talk in just a few hours. My talk had so many overlaps that I weaved pieces of Ben’s story into it. I was even able to work in a ridiculously stupid joke about me speaking after Ben. “I’m not sure in what world Taylor Swift would open for a high school garage band, but here we are.” That one got some good laughs, but they may have been pity laughs. Nevertheless, I loved being able to expand on some of Ben’s ideas in my talk.

As I reflect on the full-circle moment, I can’t help but think how badly I missed the mark earlier in my career. Ben knew something I didn’t. I’m not wishing away my prior career or saying having a normal job/career is bad. Far from it. I’m referring to the attitude I had toward the mere idea of living for meaning. That regret I feel is the exact reason I want to share this Meaning Over Money message with the world. I want people to hear a different perspective, know it’s an option, and decide for themselves. Wherever you are on your journey, it’s never too early or too late to pursue the meaning.

**Speaking of bucket lists, I’m just going to name one of mine. I deeply desire to become a world-class professional speaker. I’m certainly not there, but I’m better than I used to be. With more than 100 attempts under my belt, I’d certainly hope so! Today was a big step for me. I’ve never felt more prepared or more comfortable on a stage. I went to bed last night satisfied, grateful, and content. Thanks, Omaha, for a great day!

First Things First

Whenever I post a video clip on social media (like this one) about the importance of pursuing meaning, I know I will get at least one reply of the following (paraphrased): “That’s a privileged thing to say. Some people are just trying to make ends meet.” I have three thoughts about this:

1) Yes, I couldn’t agree more. LOTS of people are struggling. First things first, we need to support our family. Life is about seasons, and some seasons are about simply getting by. It’s not fun, and the work may not provide a ton of meaning, but taking care of our family is critically important. I applaud everyone who is doing this. It’s difficult, noble work.

2) Embedded in these comments is a common belief that we have to choose between meaning and money. I’m not suggesting that at all. For many - dare I say most - you can have more meaning AND as much money. I’m not suggesting we choose less money. Rather, I’m suggesting we simply choose meaning.

3) Most people who are absorbing my content are doing okay to good when it comes to their finances. By taking these sorts of positions, they get to excuse themselves from having to make this decision. In other words, if you can’t make this decision, there’s not really a decision to make.

I recently spoke with a man who reads this blog. I’ve never met him in real life, but he reached out about his story. He said his family decided to pursue meaning in late 2022 when an interesting job opened up. He reluctantly took a 25% pay cut because he truly believed in the work. He said adjusting financially was challenging, but life was so much more fulfilling due to this switch. Fast forward several months and he gets unexpectedly promoted to a new position that pays more than the job he left. Wow!

I’m not suggesting everyone will experience the same thing this man did, but I thought the story was worth sharing. First things first, we need to care for our family. But once we do, meaning. Always meaning.

Facing Fears Head-On

I didn’t really sleep last night. I couldn’t get my brain to shut off after delivering my talk at the DSM Small Business Success Summit. The event was good, I think my talk went well (haven’t watched the film yet), and I received a lot of positive and powerful feedback afterward. What made the day so odd is what happened next. I drove home, changed into casual clothing, and immediately started preparing for my next talk (which is tomorrow). Only this time, the audience will likely be 10x the size.

Needless to say, it’s been a wild week for someone whose biggest fear is public speaking. Well, second biggest fear. My biggest fear is falling into a pit of snakes…..but let’s just hope that never happens. Many years ago, I decided I needed to face this fear of speaking head-on. It’s been a choppy process. When people ask if I like speaking, the answer is “I hate doing it, but love having done it.” I say that somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but there’s also some truth to it. The anxiety of the build-up is excruciating, but the delivery and feeling of accomplishment I get when I’m done is tremendous. It has become one of my favorite things in life.

If I’m being honest with you, which is what you signed up for by subscribing to this blog, imposter syndrome hit me hard yesterday. I’m surrounded by all these gifted speakers and here I am, some dude whose biggest fear is public speaking, feeling like I’m the only one who didn’t belong. That’s not true, of course, but why let common sense and rational thinking get in the way of a frothy panic?

Facing our fears isn’t a singular moment in time. It’s not like in the movies. It’s a long process that takes intentionality, persistence, and patience. I get a little better every time I step onto the stage. I hope to one day be a world-class speaker. But first, I have to be a bad speaker, then an ok speaker, then a good speaker, and so on. I’m trying to earn my way up, one repetition at a time.

Facing your fears sucks, but it’s also amazing.

What is Success?

Later today, I’ll be speaking at the DSM Small Business Success Summit. My talk is called What is Success?: Aligning Your Mission with Your Meaning. In it, I’m going to challenge people to throw out the traditional and cultural measuring sticks of success (sales, margins, profits, growth, etc.), and replace them with what really matters. Not what matters to me but rather what matters to them. What really matters.

This idea stems from two different places. The first is something I write and podcast about often. The behavioral science of money and happiness. If money can’t make us happy (after our needs are met), why are we using money to define success? I think it’s partly because most people sincerely (and mistakenly) believe “more’ is the answer, and partly because financial metrics are easy to track and easy to compare. It makes for a very useful and universal measuring stick.

Second, when I’m meeting with business owners and business leaders, I like to dive deep into what really matters to them. Once we get past the first few layers, we quickly discover it’s not really about money at all. Money may play a role, but what they are seeking is far deeper than money. So instead of chasing the money as a way to get to those things, why not just pursue those other things directly? It’s a powerful concept that has the power to change us and the way we live.

What about you? What do you really want? If you were to redefine what success means to you, what would it look like?

Ignorance is Bliss, Until It's a Nightmare

Whenever I start working with a new client, there’s a moment early on when they have more money stress and tension than they did before we started working together. On the surface, it seems like the coaching is counter-productive. After all, the whole point of this coaching concept is to make things better…..not worse. There’s a universal truth in all this. Ignorance is bliss. Many people have very little day-to-day tension and stress when it comes to money. It’s not because their finances are in a good place, but rather because, “out of sight, out of mind,” as the saying goes.

Digging into our finances and facing reality on reality’s terms can dredge up a lot of junk. It’s like looking into one of those ultra-magnifying mirrors you see in some hotel bathrooms. It’s scary to see yourself that close. ALL the blemishes become apparent. Money is much the same way. When we look close enough, we won’t always like what we see.

This idea hit home recently when I had two contrasting conversations. The first conversation was with a friend who is somewhat critical of my work. by the way, I love when people I care about can engage me in conversations like this. It shows trust in each other, and I always learn something from them. His main point was he and his wife spend almost zero time talking about money in their marriage. They “just live life,” as he put it. He went on to explain they don’t really worry about what they spend, they don’t worry about saving, and they don’t worry about the future. Life is good, live in the moment, and it will all work out in the end. In some ways, I’m jealous of their approach to life. I wish I could be more like that at times. On the other hand, based on what he shared with me, I have a feeling where some of this will go a few decades down the road……and it’s not good.

In a subsequent conversation, I talked to a couple who was a few decades older than the guy I just mentioned. They explained how they used to handle finances, or rather how they didn’t handle them. The way they portrayed their younger selves sounded a lot like the man above. Fast forward a few decades, and they are freaking out. They lived a financially stress-free life, but now stress is barreling down on them. They are starting to realize social security isn’t nearly enough to support them, they didn’t adequately save on their own, and the clock is ticking. The reality is they will HAVE to work well into their 70s (or beyond). I don’t personally believe in traditional retirement and I hope to be working into my 80s, but it breaks my heart to see a couple work so hard for many decades, only to find themselves in a position with very limited options.

They gave me permission to anonymously share this story with you because, as they put it, they “wouldn’t wish this upon their worst enemy.” Harsh words. I feel for them, I truly do. So if I can give you any advice on this topic, it would be this: be willing to endure some financial stress and tension today (getting it right), because it’s so much better than what’s coming down the road. This couple deserves better, and so do you!

It Always Makes Sense.....In Hindsight

Yesterday was the first session of a financial class I host for our church’s youth group students. This is our 10th year, and it’s always one of the highlights of my spring. In the first session, we cover God’s ownership, contentment, and the difference between needs and wants. As we were talking about needs vs. wants, we had what is always a fun conversation. Many needs and wants are clear. Food = need. Video game = want. Clothing = need. Luxury clothing = want.

Other categories, however, always drum up a lot of debate. One such category is cell phones. Is it a need? Or a want? 10 years ago, the room was split. Having a cell phone was important…..but a need? Today, cell phones receive a near-unanimous vote for the “need” camp. I don’t disagree with this assessment.

The conversation took an interesting twist when we started talking about life in the 90s when cell phones were around, but not used the same as they are today. I explained how I had a cell phone mounted in my car, but I couldn’t carry it around with me. One of the students asked why we didn’t all push more toward having portable cell phones. A very simple question that, in hindsight, seems quite obvious. However, I explained that it just wasn't a thing and we didn’t even think about it as a thing. Who would even need or want a phone in their pocket 24 hours per day!?!? It seemed unfathomable to us back then. Then just a handful of years later, we all carried phones in our pockets.

In hindsight, this all makes sense. It’s like that with a lot of things in life. It’s easy to feel stupid when looking back, thinking about how much we missed the boat on something. A decision we made, the way we lived, something we bought, who we spent time with, a job we took, or even a job we left. It’s so easy to look back with perfect 20/20 vision, but life is anything but clear when we’re in the middle of it. We only know what we know. We have to make the best decision with the information we have at the time, then move on.

Many of us like to play the woulda, coulda, shoulda game. It’s a game we always lose. The odds are stacked against us because we get to judge our prior selves with clarity. It’s an unfair fight! It’s like today’s Lebron James playing 1v1 with his 5th-grade self……It will no doubt be a vicious beating. What’s the answer to this? Two things. First, grace. We need to give ourselves grace when we screw up. We most likely made the best choice with the information we had. Sometimes that goes well, and other times it’s a dumpster fire. It happens. Second, we can learn from it. We will most certainly screw up again in the (near) future, but we can get better each time. Let’s not waste a good mistake.

Always remember, life is lived through the windshield, not the rearview mirror. Have an awesome day!

Curating the Life of Your Dreams

“I thought you were successful.” These were the interesting words spoken by a friend after driving by my house and seeing where we live. Wow…..and ouch! It never ceases to amaze me what people say to me. Perhaps it’s the consequence of living more of a public life and sharing a fair amount of myself through our content? In any event, wow…..and ouch!

As the conversation progressed, this person explained how, in their opinion, a person’s house is a measure of success. If you’re successful, your house reflects that. If you’re not, it too reflects that. In his opinion, my house reflects the fact I’m not successful. His perspective isn’t rare. In fact, this is a very common perception in our culture. In a similar conversation, one of my other friends referred to someone else I know and pointed out the obvious fact this other person is “really f’ing rich.” Why? Because they have a tremendously expensive house. This “really f’ing rich” couple happens to be a client of mine, and I can testify they aren’t rich. Far from it. They look like it, though.

At some point in our journey, we all have a choice to separate our actions from other people’s perceptions. I refer to it as curating the life of our dreams. When we can completely disregard the expectations and opinions of others and lean 100% into our own family’s values, everything changes. Truth is, I don’t love our house. It’s not the house of our dreams….far from it. But moving here allowed us to unlock the life of our dreams. We’ve been able to curate a life that truly aligns with our values:

• Renting this house has allowed us a ton of financial flexibility, providing the opportunity to lean into other parts of our budget.

• We’re able to push hard into generosity.

• We get to travel anywhere in the world we want.

• We were able to invest in Northern Vessel Coffee Company, which has been such a blessing in our life and my career.

• We’ve created a walkable life given we’re just steps away from public parks, breweries, restaurants, and shopping.

• We’re one block away from one of the best biking trails in the state, giving us immediate access to wonderful outdoor activities.

• We’re a 1-minute drive to the kids’ school, a 1-minute drive to the co-work office I host client meetings, a 2-minute drive to our podcast studio, a 2-minute drive to the grocery store, and a 6-minute drive to church.

This is amazing! I couldn’t love it more. To be honest, though, I do think about what other people think. I get self-conscious at times. I question our sanity. Every time that happens, however, I remind myself how we’ve essentially curated our dream life. We’ve had to make sacrifices, but those sacrifices pale in comparison to what we’ve gained. We’ve gained our dream life. The irony is that, to some, it’s a sign that we’re unsuccessful. To me, however, it’s a sign we’ve truly lived into our values. I call that the definition of success.

I encourage you to spend some time thinking about your dream life. What choices/decisions would you need to make to curate a better life that aligns with your values? This can be a scary question to confront, but it’s worth it.

It's Why You Play the Game

Coming into today, only one time in 151 opportunities has a #16 seed beat a #1 seed in the NCAA tournament. Enter Fairleigh Dickinson University. I just witnessed them take down #1 Purdue in stunning fashion. Last season, FDU’s coach and starting backcourt were at the Division 2 level. FDU didn’t actually qualify for the NCAA tournament. Rather, they got in based on a technicality that prohibited their conference champion from being eligible. On the other side of the coin, Purdue finished the season ranked #3 in the country and has regularly been in discussion as a legit title contender. Based on history (1 out of 151), FDU had a 0.7% chance to win the game. Yet, here we are! That’s why you play the game.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't – you're right.” I love that Henry Ford quote. There’s so much truth in it. Just yesterday, I read an article about how Purdue’s coaching staff and players were upset by a “disrespectful” comment recently made by FDU’s coach. "The more I see Purdue, the more I think we can beat them.” Wow, how dare a coach actually believe in his team…..the disrespect!!!! FDU entered the NCAA tournament on a technicality, with a coach and players fresh from Division 2, with history showing they had a 0.7% chance of winning, and shocked the world.

Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t - you’re right. This doesn’t just apply to March Madness. It carries into every area of our life. Nothing worth doing is easy. FDU had two options coming into this game: 1) recognize they had nearly zero chance to win the game, just be happy being there while conceding an inevitable defeat, or 2) believe they have a chance, give it everything they got, and see how the cards fall. I think they choose door #2.

Whatever it is in your life, I hope you choose door #2 as well. It might not go your way. You might not succeed. You might fail. You might come up short of your goal. Or your dreams might just come true. There’s only one way to find out. It’s why you play the game.

"I Get To Go to Work"

Years ago, a friend shared with me his dream of someday transitioning into a different career. This thing was his passion. Over the years, he was working jobs he didn’t necessarily love, but they paid the bills. Simultaneously, he worked on his craft as a side hustle and eventually returned to school (part-time while he worked full-time) to pursue his dream career.

Fast forward, he made it! He recently started a job in the field he dreamt about all those years back. When I asked him how it was going so far, his wife quickly chimed in. She shared how he randomly exclaimed one day, “I get to go to work!!!” He didn’t have to go to work…..he was blessed with the opportunity to do his work. It wasn’t an obligation….it was a privilege. He didn’t dread it…..he looked forward to it.

He just unlocked a whole new level of meaning in his life. It wasn’t an accident. He didn’t stumble into it. It was an intentional choice, that required a lot of work and sacrifice, with very real consequences. He made a decision very few would have. He could have taken a simpler, easier, more predictable path. Instead, he chose meaning. Many in today’s culture would have told him to make as much money as he can, and hoard as much of it as possible, so he can retire sooner rather than later (you know, so he can finally enjoy his life). Instead, he chooses to live with joy, today. He’s not working now so he can enjoy life someday. He’s choosing to enjoy life…..period.

I couldn’t be more excited for them, and I’m grateful for the example he’s living by. I hope others see how he’s living and ultimately decide to take a similar path. The path of meaning, purpose, impact, and joy.

When Nothing Is Beneath Us

Yesterday, I spent about 10 hours at a client’s office working on a big project they contracted me to do. It’s fascinating work and it allows me to use a lot of the skills I developed during my prior career. The work challenges me, pushes me to get creative, and puts me in positions where I need to fight through roadblocks and frustrations. Overall, it’s been tremendously rewarding and I’ve learned a ton.

All that said, there was a two-hour stretch where the work was anything but satisfying. It was borderline the most monotonous work imaginable. In some regards, I wouldn’t wish that work on my worst enemy. It was mentally taxing, repetitive, and quite tedious. One little mistake would have massive ramifications, while at the same time, it felt like watching paint dry. All the while, however, all I could think about is something my dad taught me when I was a teenager. No work is beneath us. It doesn’t matter how “important” we become or how many layers get added between us and the bottom, nothing is beneath us.

Now of course many people would disagree with this approach……and it shows. When work is beneath us and we look down on it (and possibly those doing it), we create or perpetuate a toxic culture. The opposite is true, as well. When leaders are actively engaging in work that’s theoretically beneath them, it changes the dynamic of a team and an organization. It takes us from “Do as I say, not what I do” to “Follow my example.” I was blessed to have several co-workers and leaders in my past career who also modeled this the right way. The more I think about it, the more grateful I am for them.

So yeah, those two hours royally sucked! But there was something special about it, too. Doing the hard work, grinding through something difficult, knowing I’m doing the right thing for the right reasons. I hope I don’t have to spend too much time doing tasks like that, but I’ll do whatever is needed to achieve the goal. It’s a constant reminder that nothing is truly beneath us.

Upending Our Lives

In a light-hearted text exchange with a friend, he suggested I write a blog post about “not stressing out while trying to upend our lives.” I think that comment may have been rhetorical, but you get a post anyway! When we take the road less traveled, abandon comfort, and risk all that we perceive as normal, stress is sure to follow. I can’t even explain the amount of stress I’ve experienced since leaving my prior career. The bills will be paid this month, but what about next month? What about the month after that? I have a bunch of client contracts expiring soon……will they keep me around or move on? Will Northern Vessel continue to perform at a high level? When will the next paid speaking gig come? Will anyone want to sponsor our podcast? Yeah, this stuff is EXTREMELY stressful.

With all that being said, I’ll take this stress every single day of the week over a different kind of stress. Many of you know exactly what I’m talking about. The stress of waking up every day with a feeling of dread or mere tolerance for what you’re about to do. The stress of knowing your job security and compensation is in the hands of a collection of people that could simply cut you at a moment’s notice. The stress of doing tasks you simply don’t believe in or see value in. The stress of wanting something different, but being too scared or overwhelmed to go after it. That’s the kind of stress that will eat one’s soul.

I’ll take my stress any day of the week. It can be daunting, overwhelming, and crushing at times……but it’s tied to meaning, purpose, and impact. We absolutely upended our lives when we made our shift nearly four years ago. Neither Sarah nor I would claim it was easy…..but we’ll both testify to our graves that it was worth it. A whole lot of stress, combined with a whole lot of meaning!

Ode To Sleep and the Power of Patience

As a child of the 90s, I grew up on music videos. Even today, though I don’t listen to a lot of music, I love watching music videos. For the last few years, my absolute favorite music video has been “Ode To Sleep” by Twenty One Pilots. If you don’t know the song, and you probably don’t, you can check out the video HERE.

Aside from it being an amazing song, the concept of the video is what draws me in. It opens with Tyler and Josh performing a live show in front of just 12 people. It’s a grainy video shot in what appears to be a mix between a middle school cafeteria and a set piece from the movie Saw. This is two years into the band, and after all that grinding, they are giving 110% energy to just 12 people. The video immediately jumps forward 19 months, where they are performing the same song in front of 300 people. Again, 110% energy! Then, it jumps again. This time, 20 months into the future. This time, however, they are playing in front of 20,000 people…..with the same 110% energy. I get emotional every time I watch it.

They played for 2 years for the privilege of performing in front of 12 people…..but they kept going. They believed in themselves and the mission, and they did the hard work. Fast forward another 2.5 years and they were one of the biggest performers in the world. It was nothing…..until it was everything. If they were gauging success based on worldly numbers, they would have quit long before they had the opportunity to impact millions of people. I’ve seen them perform in person three times now, and can confidently say they are one of the best live performers in the entire world. It’s an experience unlike anything.

Though most of us won’t one day become international music sensations, we too have something in common with Twenty One Pilots. Success isn’t a predictable straight line. It oftentimes sometimes seems like nothing…..until it’s everything. You may be getting frustrated with something in your world. A project you’re working on. The promotion that should have come a few years ago. The business you started. The child you and your spouse so desperately desire to conceive. It’s so hard! Sometimes we just want to quit……quitting would be easier.

I’ve been thinking about that as it relates to our podcast. We’re 200+ episodes and 60+ hours of content in. We’ve been grinding for two years. And for whatever reason, our audience has exploded in the last few weeks. Hundreds of downloads per day. New episodes and old episodes alike. We’re getting DMs from people all over the world. We hit the top charts in other countries. It’s quite weird, to be honest. Like Twenty One Pilots and so many other things in life, it’s nothing…..until it’s everything. We don’t measure success in the numbers, and I’m glad we don’t. If we had, we would have given up a long time ago. We’re chasing something more important than numbers: impact.

Whatever you’re working on, please don’t stop. The world deserves to experience it, and you deserve to share it with the world. Sometimes it’s nothing…..until it’s everything.

“Just Keep Going”

Early last week, I accomplished a big win. Well, it wasn’t actually a huge win, but it felt like it to me. There was a singular moment when I realized I was finally caught up and didn’t feel like I was chasing anymore. It was the first time I had experienced this feeling in more than seven weeks. It felt like a massive weight off my shoulders. I even sent Sarah and text informing her of my win. Being all too familiar with my plight, she was equally happy for me. I was beyond excited, ready to embrace my new status of not feeling the overwhelming weight I normally carry with me.

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Just seven hours later, the party stopped. I opened my laptop to see an odd black thing on the screen. When I went to wipe the debris off my screen, I quickly realized the black thing was actually inside my screen. I frantically rebooted my computer to see if that would help, but it only got worse. The screen has been black ever since. From that moment on, I’ve been navigating logistical, technological, and scheduling issues. Needless to say, I’m back to feeling overwhelmed and frustrated.

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We both call each other “kid”……long story.

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I had a moment with Sarah the next day. I was venting to her about how frustrated and tired I was. We’ve been married long enough that Sarah knows nothing she says at that moment will actually help me. Instead, she gave me a big hug and whispered into my ear, “just keep going.” Oddly enough, it did help. She’s right, I had no other choice. I just need to keep going.

Today’s post may not seem inspirational or encouraging on the surface, but maybe it is. Just keep going! You may be facing something that has two options: 1) give up and quit, or 2) just keep going. I’m encouraging you to keep going. Not despite the fact it’s hard, but especially because it’s hard. When things get difficult, that’s the moment we need to accelerate through it, not let off the gas and putter our way to the other side.

Someone is having a worse week than me. For that, I’m sorry. You deserve better and your better is coming. Just keep going, though. You’ll be on the other side of it soon enough!