Savor Those Rent House Sandwiches

One of my friends recently experienced a life-altering situation. It's one of those occurrences where life can be completely normal, then take a sudden turn at the snap of your fingers. It's one of those moments that show us how delicate and fragile life can be. It's one of those events that makes you take a step back and take inventory of your life.

I was so glad to see him recently! He shared that while he regularly listens to our Meaning Over Money podcast, this situation instantly gave him an entirely new perspective. He said he agreed with and understood the whole meaning over money concept before, but now he GETS it. It became deeply personal and took on an entirely new importance.

He also shared a beautiful story that touched me on so many levels. I'm grateful he gave me the blessing to share with you. For context, this man has experienced tremendous success in his journey so far. He cares about people, his work ethic is unmatched, and he has a brilliant mind. You would look at him and say, "Wow, they are doing really, really well." As you hear this story, keep this context in mind.

In the aftermath of this life-changing situation, as he became reflective on his journey, purpose, and values, he asked his wife to make him a rent house sandwich. Excuse me, what?!? A rent house sandwich, he explained, is the meal he and his wife used to eat earlier in their marriage when they had minimal resources. Chicken nuggets, Doritos, and mustard served on white bread. He calls it a "rent house sandwich" because they lived in a small rental house in that tough (but simple) season of life. His wife was surprised he requested such a meal, but she obliged. As he was in his reflective state, he wanted something that reminded him of where they came from. Something that rooted him in the foundation of what's most important: family. Not money. Not status. Not stuff. Family.

Me: "Well, how did it taste?"

Him: "It was so good. So good." He was wearing a deep and sincere smile as he responded, almost as if he relived it at that moment.

It was a tremendously touching story. I got emotional when he shared it with me, and I'm emotional writing about it now. While you and I probably haven't had the pleasure of devouring chicken nuggets, Doritos, and mustard on white bread, we each have our own version of rent house sandwiches. These odd little nuances are woven into our story and play a meaningful role in our journey. Never lose sight of where you came from. Don't overlook the battles you’ve fought. Don't take your blessings for granted.

Life is indeed delicate. It's easy to forget that in the hustle and bustle of our everyday lives. I encourage you to push pause, take a step back, remind yourself of what's most important, and savor those rent house sandwiches.

Way Too Short for My Soul, Corazon

Huge news, guys! Twenty One Pilots released a new song last week....AND announced the upcoming release of their latest album. This was a huge deal for all four members of the Shelton household, and I even scheduled my day around the release of the new song (and accompanying music video). That definitely makes me weird, but I'll accept that title.

Though I'm absolutely biased to the core, I thought it was a killer song. The song and music video are a continuation of the lore, which is a fictional dystopian story that began nine years ago with the release of their album Vessel. While the video might be confusing to people unfamiliar with the lore, it's a catchy and enjoyable song, nonetheless. You can check it out here.

Don't worry; this post isn't solely me gushing about Twenty One Pilots. Instead, it's about a specific line in the lyrics. It's a segment of the song that's quickly going viral and will most certainly become iconic to fans for years to come. You can find it at the 3:07 mark.

"The days feel like the perfect length. I don't need them any longer, but for goodness' sake do the years seem way too short for my soul, corazon."

As I wrestle with the ideas revolving around Meaning Over Money, the concept of time is always at the forefront. Time is so scarce. It's the rarest commodity on the planet. It's also the only one that can't be bought. Whether you're a high school kid, Elon Musk, or anyone in between, we all have the same 24 hours in a day.

I love how Tyler pointed out that our days are plenty long, but the years are far too short. The older I get, the more evident and painful this dynamic becomes. My kids were newborns yesterday, and then I blinked, and they were in first grade. It's brutal!

This is why the pursuit of meaning is so important. We get to spend today's 24 hours pursuing something. If it's money, we just might find it. But to what end? If we play that out to its natural outcome, we're going to trade months, years, and even decades for the accumulation of money and stuff. That time is gone….and we can't get it back. Sure, we'll have the money to show for it on the back end. But at what cost?

We need to weigh the trade-offs. Too many people are throwing away a meaningful life in exchange for a larger bank account. "Money don't lie," said a friend who was recently defending his aggressive pursuit of money. Sure enough, but do you know what also doesn't lie? The fractured marriage, the loss of memories and connectivity with his kids, and the daily/weekly dread that hits him so hard that you can literally see him aging before your eyes.

It's a dark, lonely, and all too common road, unfortunately. Money don't lie, but neither does meaning. Harness your time for good....it's scarce.

The Cost of Want, Revisited

Earlier this month, I shared the story of a family in a predicament. They have a combined income of $340,000 ($240,000 from him and $100,000 from her). She is absolutely miserable at her job, and her dream is to stay at home with their three small children. One problem: they can't afford to live their current lifestyle with "only" a $240,000 income.....and they aren't willing to make it happen. I gave them a few options for navigating this pursuit of a more meaningful life, but they said no to every suggestion. They insist on keeping their massive house, luxury cars, fancy trips, country club membership, taste for designer clothing, and hoarding investments for an early 50s retirement. Every one of these was a non-starter.

Her parting request was for me to collect additional feedback from my blog readers, and you delivered! But first, I had a different type of experiment in mind. If you subscribe to and read a daily blog called The Daily Meaning, it's a tell. There's a certain type of person who connects with my content. You're my people! Though we all have differing opinions on various topics (love your constant feedback!), a common thread seems to connect each of us: meaning over money.

With that in mind, I first wanted to capture feedback from a different audience. I contacted random people in my life and bounced this couple's scenario off them. Here's a summary of their feedback:

• They "deserve" to have all their luxuries AND for her to stay home. 

• The husband should just find a way to make $100,000 more so they can make it work. 

• If they can spend money on all those things and still retire in their early 50s, they should cut back on their luxuries, she should stay at work, and they should push for a 40s retirement. In other words, ratchet up the misery so they can enjoy their life sooner. 

Guys, this is the world's way. This is exactly the way the majority of our society thinks. This is the prevailing wisdom and the commonly shared values of our culture. 

Now, your feedback! Here's a smattering of the opinions you shared with me. Thanks so much for taking the time to share your thoughts. 

• "As respectfully as one can say it, I think they are choosing money over meaning."

• "I am going to be a little harsh here, but it sounds like this couple needs to have a better perspective on life. They could be doing so much good in the world with that kind of income. Instead of living for themselves, they could learn to start giving and make other people's lives better. They will be so much happier and fulfilled in the long run."

• "They seem to be stuck in the ultimate rat race: get more money, get more stuff, rinse and repeat until you die. That is a sad way to live!"

• "I would say they need to go on a mission trip to a third world country for 2 weeks and see if that would open a new perspective for them (that life is not meant for pursuing/chasing things)."

• "I am wondering who they hang out with. I would bet that their friends most likely live their lives the same way. If they want to make a change, they might have to change their circle of influence."

• "A question you might ask her is how she feels about teachers or social workers who work just as hard as them but are forced to live on less. Sometimes we forget how blessed we are."

• "Oh brother, that's my reaction. Cutting back is hard but I choose meaning over money!"

• "Can't have everything we want. It wouldn't be good for us if we did. We would be too self-reliant and we weren't created to be that way."

• Then, there's this little gem to end with a laugh: "Had to really think out of the box on this one. Become a throuple. Find another person to join the marriage. The new person would work full time and contribute financially, allowing the original woman to quit her job and stay home full time while the household remains dual-income, spending lavishly on their lifestyle while working towards FIRE."

I shared your feedback with this woman. She was thankful and a bit surprised. Only time will tell if they bend toward meaning or money. In the meantime, keep walking the walk in your circles, leaning toward meaning every step of the way. Grateful for you all!

Break the Mold

Michael Jordan will forever be my favorite NBA player, but Steph Curry will confidently sit next to him on my Mount Rushmore of all-time favorite players. I absolutely love Curry, and my social media algorithms also know it. This was evidenced last night when I stumbled upon a gem of a video.

@crowmovie3 #fvp #foryou #basketball #stephencurry #iloveyou ♬ original sound - Crow movie

Despite wreaking havoc on some of the best teams in the country during March Madness (experts thought it was an anomaly), Curry was disrespected before, during, and after the draft. He didn't fit the mold. Nothing he did fit within the bounds of commonly held beliefs about how basketball could and should be played. They tried to put him in a box.

Curry didn't care. He didn't conform. He didn't try to be someone he wasn't. He didn't stay in the box. He simply became more of what he already was. Then, he changed the game of basketball forever. He broke the mold!

While none of us will be slinging logo threes in our day job, we have a lot to learn from Curry. Society and the prevailing culture are quick to tell us how the world works, the way things are supposed to be done, and what is (and isn't) possible. Much of my week is spent trying to help people break free from universally believed truths. These toxic ideas are pervasive and are holding people back en masse.

Our clients, podcast listeners, and blog readers often reach out to share stories. One story that's on repeat is the story about how they will share some of their decisions with friends/family/etc., only to be told they are stupid, weird, naive, or some other insult. Whenever this happens, I congratulate them. This is how we know we're on the right track. They are breaking the mold!

My decisions and ideas get insulted almost daily at this point. I was recently sitting with a group of guys when one of them said something terribly offensive to me. It was concerning me continuing to make a fraction of the income I used to when the opportunity to return to a higher income is still on the table. The other two guys agreed with this person, but were shocked and disappointed he would say something like that to my face. They asked if I was mad, and I responded that it was the ultimate compliment. I couldn't have loved it more.

Break the mold. Please break the mold. Let's collectively break the mold so much that it ultimately becomes the new mold. That's what it looks like to bend the culture.

Life is Short

In the span of 24 hours, I received news of three people passing away far too soon. They were in their 40s, 50s, and 60s. It was sad, and it hit a little too close to home. In the aftermath of these tragic developments, I was talking to a friend about it, and they shared a commonly-believed sentiment. I'll paraphrase: Each of these people worked their entire adult lives and died before they had a chance to actually enjoy life.

When we hear stories like this, a common takeaway is that it's proof we should hurry up and race toward retirement so we can milk a "life we actually enjoy" for as long as possible.

These types of stories impact me profoundly, but in the opposite way. It doesn't prove we should race faster to the retirement finish line. Rather, it's proof that we should live a life worth living.....today. Life is indeed short. I'm not trying to race to some finish line so that I can live my remaining years in relaxation. I'm trying to live each day, week, and month to the fullest. Not at some arbitrary point in my future, but today.

I've always had a morbid sense that I'm going to pass away too soon. I'm not sure where that thought comes from, and I'm not entirely sure if it's healthy or not. Regardless of its origin or implications, it has done one thing. It's reiterated the importance of living with meaning, generosity, and impact today. Not someday. Not when I meet certain markers or hit particular milestones. Today. This week. This month. This year.

I was on a cruise a few weeks ago. That was an awesome week.

I was out of state at a client's office last week. The days were long, and the nights were short. That was an awesome week.

I'm serving clients and attending board meetings this week. It's an awesome week.

I'll be creating a ton of content and hosting some difficult meetings next week. That will be an awesome week.

We have a mini spring break trip in a few weeks (plus March Madness). That will be an awesome week.

Life is short. Don't waste today in hopes of tomorrow. Don't destroy your working years in pursuit of an accelerated retirement. Don't disregard the blessings of hard work and struggle while glorifying a life of leisure. Life is short. Squeeze meaning from all of it.

First Things First

I receive a lot of criticism. From friends, strangers, and everyone in between. Some are constructive, and some aren't. I even have favorites. Here's one of my all-time favorites: "You can't feed your family with meaning." Nice and sharp!

I actually agree with this one. I once tried to pay the grocery store cashier with meaning.....they just called security. I kid, I kid. It's true, though. Meaning doesn't pay the bills. When people make this comment to criticize my work, they are 100% right. On the flip side, I also believe I'm 100% right in my insistence we should all try to pursue meaningful work. Both of these sentiments can be simultaneously true.

While I'll die on the hill supporting meaningful work, it's imperative that our basic needs are met. We need food, clothing, housing, and transportation. At the bare minimum, each of these fundamental boxes must be checked. In some situations, in some seasons, and in some scenarios, this will require us to temporarily push pause on the meaning, and focus on having enough money. Not because we're greedy or materialistic, but because we recognize the importance of personal accountability and the responsibility to provide the basic needs for our family. It's not sexy, or even fun, but it's important.

When someone struggles to keep the lights on and the landlord at bay, I don't advise them to aggressively pursue meaning. Instead, I work with them to immediately increase their income to meet critical needs. In some situations, cutting expenses can be helpful. However, in most of these scenarios, it's a deficiency of income problem. The resulting work might not be meaningful or fun, but closing the income gap is tremendously important….and there’s meaning in that act.

The bigger focus on meaning will come in due time, but first things first. We need to get our financial foundation under us. We must ensure we have enough stability to keep the proverbial train on the tracks. Then, once we do, we can shift our focus back to pursuing meaning. It can be a delicate dance, but we must dance. We can't focus solely on one or the other. If we focus exclusively on providing financially, we will sabotage ourselves of much meaning and fulfillment. However, if we focus only on the meaning, we may inadvertently sabotage our family's finances. Both of these are dangerous outcomes, which is why we must continually navigate the journey with intentionality.

First things first, but enjoy the dance!

Be Unreasonable

Last week, I attended some leadership meetings with my Texas client. On one of the days, we heard a presentation from a third-party consultant specializing in sales and culture. He brought up a point that struck me as interesting. He discussed how some organizations (especially the military) create their own language. Special terminology, new words, relevant acronyms, etc. The reasoning behind this has multiple layers:

• Using a shared language that everyone understands helps create clarity.

• It drives simplicity and efficiency.

• It helps people and teams lean into the mission at hand.

• It builds connections and relationships between the people who are in the know. 

As he was explaining this concept, I had one idea that kept popping up in my brain. It's a book called Unreasonable Hospitality. This book is the foundation for how we operate Northern Vessel. TJ, our founder, is the embodiment of this concept. He talks about the book constantly, and as a result, these concepts cloud every conversation we have (which is nearly daily). 

Now, the combination of these two ideas. I'm coining a new phrase and want you to be part of it. This is my formal invitation for you. Be unreasonable. Be unreasonable in the pursuit of meaning. Be unreasonable in the generosity we show others. Be unreasonable in our efforts to make a difference in someone's life. Be unreasonable in bucking the gravitational pull of our culture in exchange for something better. Be unreasonable. 

I'd like to think of myself as an unreasonable guy. Much of the time, I nail it. However, I've recently witnessed cracks in my unreasonableness. I'll call them deficiencies. But as I settle into this new phrase, Be Unreasonable, it will be at the forefront of each aspect of my life and business. I need to create unreasonableness in the areas I'm bleh.

I want to be unreasonable with you. If you spend part of each day reading this blog, just know I don't take that for granted. I feel a tremendous weight (in a good way) each day when I sit down to write. I deeply desire to give you something special. I want to provide you with a little 400-500 word gift that can make you smile, make you think, make you grow, and/or make you want to change this world. 

My challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to be unreasonable with people in your life. The act of being unreasonable will look different for everyone, but I encourage you to find yours. Have fun with it. Make people look at you cross-eyed. Make yourself into the weird one. Bend the culture, ever so slightly, with your circle of influence. Just be unreasonable. 

The Release Valve in Practice

In yesterday's post, I explained how meaningful work is a release valve to so much time and financial pressure. Instead of hoarding money and sucking up miserable work in pursuit of an earlier-the-better retirement, I propose that we ought to consider the pursuit of meaningful work. When we do, we don't feel pressured to race to the finish line. This provides for a more meaningful life and less pressure to hoard assets to create the escape hatch. 

A few readers reached out to ask questions about this concept. I admit, it's counter-cultural. I'm honored people would take the time to consider these wild ideas. A few people asked if I could give an example of the release valve in practice. Here's a real-life situation someone recently approached me with. I'll use round-ish numbers to make it more digestible:

• Age: 30

• Current Investments: $100,000

• Desired Retirement Age: 50

• Desired Retirement Income: $100,000/year in today's dollars

• Job Status: He's currently in a high-paying job that he despises. It's sucking the life out of him. Zapped energy, he's a jerk to his wife, and he travels a LOT. However, it pays a lot of money......

• The Situation: He desires to save as much money as possible, as quickly as possible, so he "only" has to do this for 20 more years.....tops. His question to me was how much money he needs to invest (er, hoard) to make that goal a reality. 

Here's the math. For him to retire at age 50 with an annual retirement income equal to $100,000 in today's dollars (using 3% inflation, a 9% return, and the 4% rule for withdrawals), he needs to invest approximately $5,900/month between age 30 and 50. In other words, he'll continue working a job he absolutely hates (but "only" for 20 more years), sock away nearly $6,000/month, and have little income left to actually live a life. 

He oddly seemed excited about this. However, I threw out a few alternatives. First, I shared the numbers for a more traditional retirement at age 60. To get the same $100,000 retirement income (in today's dollars), he would need to invest $2,700/month between age 30 and 60. That's less than half! He hated this idea. To him, it means he has to put up with a miserable job for 30 years instead of 20. Or, as he put it, "I'll never survive that."

Then, I showed him the release valve. I showed him what an age 70 retirement could look like. I caveated one point, though. It's not 40 years of misery.......rather, 40 years of meaning. In this scenario, he would need to invest $1,100/month from age 30 to 70 to get the same $100,000 annual income (in today's dollars). For one-fifth of the monthly cost, he can live a meaningful life, pursue work that matters, and have the cash flow flexibility to travel and make memories with his small children.

The verdict? Option #1: "20 years doesn't sound so bad. It will go by fast." Sadly, I think he's right. It will most certainly go by in the blink of an eye. 

The Release Valve of Meaningful Work

In a recent talk, I commented about how I don't believe in retirement. I could see faces in the audience shift in real-time. When we got to my favorite part of the talk, the Q&A, someone asked a question that delighted me. "Don't you ever want to actually enjoy your life?" This was a sharp and direct question. I could see many in the audience get uncomfortable, anticipating a potentially awkward exchange. Here's a paraphrasing of my answer:

• I'm enjoying my life today more than ever…..while working harder than I've ever worked. 

• Work should add value to our lives, not impair it. 

• If I ever get to the point where my work becomes a negative, it's time to find new work. 

• "Enjoying" life doesn't directly correlate to a life of leisure. They aren't one and the same.

• Speaking of leisure, it's important to periodically take time to rest, travel, and adventure. This should happen during our career, not held back until after it.

Here's the typical work-to-retirement path:

1. Find work that pays as much as possible (disregarding what fulfillment it could/should provide).

2. Hoard as much money as possible along the way.

3. Reach a certain level of hoarding success as quickly as possible (60 is better than 65, 55 is better than 60, 50 is better than 55, …….).

4. Quit work and finally try to enjoy life.

This path incentivizes us to cut back on spending as much as possible (so we can aggressively invest), while we endure a job we dislike or hate, so we can get out ASAP. In other words, live with a certain level of career and financial misery for as short a window as necessary.

Here's something to think about. Meaningful work is a release valve from misery. Instead of following the path above, here's an alternative strategy:

1. Always pursue meaningful work (even if it pays less).

2. Invest consistently over a long period of time. Since you have a longer investing window and compound, you can invest less along the way and dedicate those extra resources toward more fulfilling endeavors (giving, traveling, making memories, etc.).

3. Give yourself the freedom to downshift/upshift your career as life evolves, always ensuring it adds value to your life.

4. If/When your health/energy deteriorates, be financially prepared to care for yourself. 

In the first scenario, we spend much of our adult life in some form of dissatisfaction (ranging somewhere between tolerance and misery), hoard resources instead of putting them to better use, and hope that one day, living a life of leisure is the ticket to happiness. In the second scenario, we find and sustain a meaningful life with far less time and financial pressure on ourselves.

Do I ever want to actually enjoy my life? Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. I want to enjoy it today, tomorrow, and down the road. I deeply desire that and have committed my life to the continual pursuit of meaning and impact. I desire that for you, too. 

Finding Fulfillment in an Unfulfilling Job

I often think and talk about a staggering statistic from a Gallup survey. 70% of Americans dislike or hate their job. Think about that! If you put 10,000 people in a stadium, the odds are that 7,000 of them despise or merely tolerate their job. It's easy to dismiss that as not a big deal, but that's where we spend half our waking hours. That's sad!

My first advice for people who feel disengaged in their jobs is to find something different. I truly believe this. I think most people in the 70% camp could significantly improve their lives simply by changing jobs. There are many reasons why people feel this way, but in many cases, a change is needed. 

However, I'd like to take a different approach to this dilemma today. Many drivers of our dissatisfaction are external. A crappy boss, a toxic culture, a lack of impact, tasks that don't align with our skillset, a rough work environment, hours/shifts that drain you.....the list goes on. These are all valid reasons for job dissatisfaction. 

On the flip side, there are internal drivers causing us misery in our job. Or more accurately, there are internal drivers that prevent us from finding meaning in our work. Let's face it, some jobs just suck. I once worked in a cheese factory (*not a Cheesecake Factory). That job sucked. I also worked for the U.S. Census Bureau for the 2000 census. That job sucked even more (which will happen when multiple people pull guns on you). We've all had crappy jobs, and some of you are in one today. It's easy to just see these jobs as utterly terrible, but when we do, we sell ourselves short.

Regardless of where you're at or what you're doing, I think we all have the power to find fulfillment in a bad job. Our perspectives move the needle for us. If we believe everything is terrible, it is. If we believe there's good in something, there is. With that context, I'll share a few simple ways we can create fulfillment in an unfulfilling job:

• We use our time (and resulting income) to help propel ourselves to where we really want to be. It gives a dead-end situation a purpose.

• We embrace our relationships on the job. Even in the worst jobs, some of those relationships can be blessings.

• We focus on the impact we're making. Sure, the work might suck, but we still have an opportunity to serve others and make a difference. That matters!

• We use it as an opportunity to gain more experience, skills, and momentum.

• We get to use the income from the job to care for our family and move the financial needle in our lives. Our hard work is not in vain!

Yes, I think you should leave a job you tolerate or hate. I'll die on that hill. In the meantime, finding fulfillment in an otherwise unfulfilling situation is possible. Don't let the meaning slip away.

It’s Not Meaning OR Money

Last night, more than 100 million people tuned in to watch a bunch of grown men play a game. Further, these grown men get paid millions of dollars to play their game. They drive fast cars, wear stylish clothes, take exotic trips, and their faces are plastered on billboards and TV screens all around the country. We idolize these athletes, yet at the same time, label them as only caring about money.

I couldn't disagree more! Yes, they make ridiculous money. Brock Purday famously makes "only" $850,000 this season......which is almost nothing for an NFL player. Patrick Mahomes, on the other hand, is making $37 million this season. Yeah, these players make a ton of money that's hard for us normal people to comprehend.

However, I don't think it's as simple as pigeonholing them as caring only about the money. It's not either/or. This isn't about having meaning OR money. In the world of meaning over money, I'm not asking people to choose meaning or money. I'm just asking them to choose meaning. When we do, in many cases, the money will often follow. Why? Because when we put our gifts, talents, passions, blood, sweat, and tears into our craft, we can't help but have some level of financial success. These NFL players didn't get to where they are by caring about money. They got here because they are gifted and worked extremely hard every step of their career. Their career is full of meaning!

Don't just take my word for it. You can see it with your own eyes. Tears flowing down cheeks during the national anthem. Passion flowing from them, whether it's ultimate joy or livid anger. Players sacrificing their bodies for the fans and their teammates. There was so much intensity on that field last. Yes, there was a lot of money at play. But I would argue the passion was greater.

The same goes for us. We don't have to choose between meaning and money. We just need to choose meaning. The rest will take care of itself. We might not make $37 million like Patrick Mahomes, or even $850,000 like Brock Purdy, but we will find our own version of financial rewards. Whatever that number is, it's not the definition of your success.

Don't be afraid to earn and receive financial blessings. But at the same time, don't let them (or the lack thereof) define your success.

Lessons From Archie (Moonlight) Graham

Warning: This post is going to be abnormally vague for my writing. I typically try to operate with transparency and vulnerability. Today's post is a bit different. The heart behind it is completely vulnerable, but the actual idea will remain in the shadows. A few reasons: 1) I'm not ready to unveil it just yet, and 2) I want you to think about your journey, not mine.

Last night, I began embarking on a new, exciting, and terrifying journey. I'm beyond pumped for it, but it's excruciatingly uncomfortable. So much so that I didn't really sleep last night. Ideas, fears, and what-ifs were spinning around my head, and I couldn't turn it off. My anxiety and fear were in full force.

This is the tension with discomfort. Even when we know we need to do something, it's hard to follow through when the discomfort is evident. It reminds me of this scene from Field of Dreams.

Archie (Doc) Graham had one dream: get an at-bat in the big leagues. There's a lot to the story, but after hitchhiking his way to Dyersville, IA, to Ray Kinsella's farm-turned-ballfield, young Archie was living his dream. There he was, in full uniform, playing ball with some of the legends of the game. Then, the twist.

Ray's daughter Karin fell off the bleachers while eating a hot dog, causing her to choke and go unconscious. Sensing the panic, Archie turned his attention to the bleachers and jogged across the field toward the young girl. As he approached the edge of the field, he stopped. In that moment, Archie knew exactly what he needed to do. Simultaneously, he also knew how uncomfortable this moment was. He paused, and maybe even hesitated. You can cut the tension with a knife.

Then, after coming to terms with the discomfort, young Archie stepped across the line and into his destiny. He knew the sacrifice he was making by taking that step, but he also saw the bigger picture. What waited on the other side of his discomfort was something even better. He saved the young girl, and her feuding family. Despite giving up so much at that moment, you could see the peace and contentment in his eyes as he said his goodbyes and eventually disappeared into the outfield.

That movie gives my eyes allergies every time I watch it. It also holds sentimental value for me, as I lived just six miles from where it was filmed. I just wish I was old enough to have an awareness and appreciation for it back then. As we journey through life, we will encounter those Archie Graham moments. We'll walk right up to the line, then stop, because crossing it could possibly be one of the most uncomfortable and scary things we can do. It's ok to pause. Pausing doesn't define us. It's what we do after the pause that matters. Will you step across that line and into your destiny, or turn back?

I want to be like Archie.

Here to Serve

Inspiration comes from the darndest places. As I was sitting here contemplating what to share today, I received a text from my often-discussed corporate client in Texas. As usual, they have interesting developments brewing and like to bounce scenarios and questions off me for my input. Some of their questions require quick and simple answers, while others require many hours of detailed contemplation and analysis. This request was of the quick and simple variety.

I told them to respond with any follow-up questions they might have, as I'm just preparing today's blog and can help however needed. One of the gentlemen jokingly responded that I should "write about people who constantly ask you to do things that you have given them the tools to do themselves and how annoying that is."

That's precisely what I will do, but I will pull a 180 on him. There is nothing annoying about this exchange whatsoever. In fact, it's a privilege and an honor. The fact my insights and expertise are desired and valued is something I never take for granted. Further, the opportunity to add value to their decision-making and overall business is a tremendous blessing. No part of me is even remotely annoyed by this. I should be sending him a thank you card for allowing me the opportunity and blessing to serve him. I'm beyond grateful.

We are here to serve. Simply put, this is the base calling in our life. We can, of course, choose to ignore it, refuse it, or turn our back on it. From the moment we wake up until we go back to bed, our day is a never-ending string of serving opportunities. Our spouse, kids, co-workers, clients, customers, neighbors, and even strangers. Nearly every interaction in our life is an opportunity (or, dare I say, duty?) to serve others.

Think about the people in your life you're attracted to. No, not that kind of attraction. The kind of attracted that you want to be in their presence. The kind that makes you want to spend time with them. The kind that makes you want to be more like them. Chances are this person is a servant. Chances are one of the primary attributes that make you (and probably others) attracted to them is their willingness and heart to serve others.

I could most certainly wake up each day with the objective of getting what I want for myself. That option is on the table. In fact, I know a lot of people who live this way. This is just one man's opinion, but that feels like an empty-calorie type of life. It might taste good for a bit, but it's anything but satiating.

The posture of service, on the other hand, is an immensely fulfilling way to live. We might not always get what we want by continually serving others, but we actually get something better: meaning, impact, and purpose. That's the irony of service. We get fed by feeding others.

“Wow, That’s Embarrassing”

A young business owner recently reached out to me. He wanted to chat over coffee. Never turning someone down for a coffee, I immediately agreed. We talked about life, work, family, and business. He revealed some of his goals and dreams, and surprisingly commented, "I'd like to be successful like you one day." He followed that up by talking about how he'd like to "make bank" to drive nice cars, sport luxury watches, and build the house of his dreams. There's a reason I shared his comment and this context.....you'll see in a moment. Toward the end of the conversation, he asked if I'd be willing to mentor him.

As we worked our way out the door and into the parking lot, we shared a few more pleasantries before parting ways. We were standing next to an older Nissan Altima with a massive ugly dent on the driver-side doors. As it caught his eye, he pointed and quipped, "Wow, that's embarrassing."

After we shook hands, he walked to his car, and I got into the heavily dented Altima. Part of me wanted to take a lap past his car to give him another glance at this embarrassing dent, but I refrained. I still don't know if he eventually realized he was insulting me.....maybe one day I'll ask him (or send him a picture of me posing next to my car like a magazine model).

The brutal dent is the result of an accident I experienced about 18 months ago. I was coming home from a negotiation meeting where my Northern Vessel business partners and I were hammering out the details of our ownership structure. A young teen driver was driving right next to me in the left lane, when he decided to change lanes without looking. He was scared and embarrassed, but everything turned out ok.

Immediately after the accident, I was in a tizzy about fixing the damage ASAP. I caught myself feeling this way and wondered why. I quickly realized it was because some part of me cared about what others thought (like the young man who thought my car was embarrassing). However, I quickly came to my senses and remembered I don't actually care about things like that.

Still, I took my car to the shop for an estimate and submitted it to insurance. Instead of having me send my car to the shop and pay for the work, the insurance company just sent me a check and called it "closed."

After I deposited the check, I had a decision to make. I could either a) repair the cosmetic damage and make sure people have a proper perspective of who I am, or b) do something else with the money. I ultimately chose to give the money away. My car looked like crap, but a bunch of kids got fed. I call that a win.

For the last 18 months, I've elected to keep the dent as a reminder of what's most important. Some see embarrassment, but I see beauty.

A Different Kind of Scorecard

Our 300th podcast episode was published yesterday. I typically don't stop to reflect on these sorts of things, but with the encouragement of a few close friends, I'm taking a moment to stop and pause. Now that I think about it, 300 is absolutely absurd. I can't remember the exact statistic, but around 90% of podcasts don't make it past episode 20. With an average episode length of 17 minutes, that's 85 hours of free content floating around cyberspace. While we won't pretend to be one of the top podcasts in the world, it's wild to see how broad the reach has been. We've even received notifications that we hit the top 10 lists in Italy, Belize, and Ukraine over the years. Very odd.

During a recent business trip to Texas, I treated myself to a nice slab of meat at a local steakhouse. As I was sitting at the bar waiting for my meal to arrive, I started chatting with a man next to me who was thumbing through his podcast app. I asked him what his favorite podcasts are. "Joe Rogan, ________ (*name I can't recall), and Meaning Over Money." Wait, Meaning Over Money? That's us!!! We had a good laugh about the coincidence and had a nice chat!

It brings me back to a recent conversation I had with a friend. We were talking about our businesses and some of the projects we're working on. When the subject of our podcast came up, he asked, "At what point do you just decide to give up?" Excuse me, what?!? He pointed out that we don't have sponsors and are seemingly not making any money from the podcast, thus we've pretty much failed. And since we've failed, at what point should we just stop doing it? My response: "What makes you think we're trying to make a bunch of money doing this?" Him: "Well, why else would you do it, then? That's a lot of time to waste for nothing."

Considering our show is called Meaning Over Money, it would be awfully hypocritical for us to define our podcasting success by how much money we make. We didn't start the show to make money. We created the show to make a difference. We began doing this to perhaps bend the culture regarding work and money. Have we succeeded? To the thousands of people who have listened over the years, I hope so! But more importantly, and obviously more challenging to measure, I wonder what impact our listeners are making by living work and money differently in their own lives. When they put meaning over money, how does that influence their friends, family, neighbors, and colleagues? I may never know the answer to that question.

Only you get to decide what success is. It can be money, but it doesn't have to be. Look in the mirror and ask yourself, "Why?" The answer to that question matters. When we're playing a different kind of game, we should be using a different kind of scorecard.

A Glimpse Under the (Cruise) Hood

I've shared bits and pieces about our family's recent cruise vacation. Some of the finer details must have perked people's interest, as at least a half-dozen readers asked if I would be sharing more about the economics of the trip. There's a voyeuristic side in each of us, where we like hearing the details of other people's situations. I think that's why our personal budget reveal episode was/is so popular. 

Well, your wish is my command. I dug through the numbers and will now share the total economics of our recent trip. For context, our family of four took a 6-night cruise on Royal Caribbean out of the Fort Lauderdale port. The ship was called Symphony of the Seas, which I believe is the second-largest ship in the world (and it was amazing!). When the dust settled, we spent approximately $5,100 all-in, broken down as follows:

• Cruise: $1,830 (We took advantage of a 30% off + kids sail free deal on the Royal Caribbean website. We stayed in an interior room, which was small but efficient. This price included all food).

• Flights: $740 (We saved $700 by flying out of Minneapolis - a 3-hour drive - instead of Des Moines. Not ideal, but we agreed it was worth it). 

• Food & Fuel to/from Minneapolis: $140

• Airport Parking: $210 (Given the -45 degree wind chill and the fact we wouldn't have coats with us, we elected to park in the terminal instead of taking the long-term parking shuttle).

• Fort Lauderdale Hotel: $220 (We didn't want to risk having a delayed flight ruin our trip, so we flew in the night before). 

• Ubers: $140 (Ubers to/from airport/port).

• On-Ship WiFi: $300 (This was a hard pill to swallow, but we ultimately decided to get WiFi on three devices. Looking back, we're glad we did).

• Drinks: $380 (This included alcoholic beverages, some fun drinks for the kids, and Sarah's fancy coffees).

• Aquapark Excursion: $50

• Pig Beach Excursion: $700 (A lot of money, but it created some lifelong memories). 

• Automatic Tips: $220 (By default, Royal Caribbean charges you $18/person/day for tips. However, this isn't mandatory. We elected to turn this off for the kids so we could use that extra money to give specific tips)

• Cash Tips: $200 (Primarily for our room attendant and the kids club staff. Our kids spent 7PM-10PM every night in the kids club, and they had a blast. There were a lot of tears saying goodbye that last night). 

There you have it. It wasn't cheap and ultimately cost more than we anticipated, but we don't have many regrets. It was a wonderful trip; we'd do it again in a heartbeat. 

Thoughts? Questions? Insights? Reactions? Would love to hear your feedback. Hit reply to this e-mail or drop a comment below on the webpage. 

I'll wrap it up this way: Meaning over money. That money could have been invested, or saved for something "more responsible," but our family primarily invests in two things: mission and memories.

Why Not You?

I've been an Iowa State Cyclone football fan since first stepping on campus 24 years ago. Confession: It's not always easy. We don't usually have stellar teams, and when we do, they end up underperforming expectations. Such was the case a few years ago when we were blessed by friends who purchased season tickets for our family.

While that season was full of amazing family memories and new traditions, the actual on-field performance was frustrating. We had a talented squad, tons of hype, and seemingly all the tools to get into the top 10. We had a four-year starter at quarterback, and he had a ton of weapons around him (including starting NY Jets running back Breece Hall). However, it wasn't meant to be.

Our quarterback's name was Brock Purdy. On a personal level, I thought he was a class act....a top-notch character. But as a player, it felt like he hit his ceiling in his sophomore year. So when it was announced he would try to make an NFL roster, I thought it was pretty far-fetched. The San Francisco 49ers selected him with the very last pick in the draft, which is commonly referred to as "Mr. Irrelevant." That was pretty cool, though! I never expected him to get drafted, yet there he was.

But would he ever even take a snap? Due to a few unfortunate injuries, he rose from third on the depth chart to eventually starting by default. And he won. Then he won again. And again. He just kept winning. By the end of the regular season, he was getting Rookie of the Year mentions and was solidly their starter for the playoffs. Again, he shined in the playoffs.....until he experienced a sad season-ending injury.

As this season approached, would he be physically ready to play? Even if he was, would he be their starter? Yes, he was ready, and yes, he did get the starting job. Then he just continued winning.....so much so that he was in the league MVP conversation for most of the season.

Last night, he became an NFC champ, and he's leading his team to the Super Bowl, where he'll face a KC Chiefs dynasty that's making their 4th Super Bowl appearance in 5 years.

Not many people (me included) believed in Brock Purdy. Yet, here he is. Here's the question I have today. Why not Brock Purdy? Better yet, why not me? Or better still, why not you?

Here's one thing I do know. If Brock Purdy didn't believe in himself, he wouldn't be here. He had the entire world trying to give him a participation trophy, but he knew something we didn't.

I think about people like him a lot. Why not them? Why not me? Why not you? It reminds me of a famous quote: "Whether you think you can or can't, you're right."

Whatever your thing is, just go for it! Sure, you might fail....or you might not. It could be nothing....or everything. Why not you?

This Can’t Be Everything

We had another amazing day at sea yesterday, which included a few hours in port in Falmouth, Jamaica. Lots of food, lots of swimming, and lots of adventures. This trip has been THE definition of relaxation (well, except for everything that goes into caring for two first graders). It's been absolutely wonderful, and I'm so very grateful for our opportunity to go on this trip together.

As I was in the hot tub yesterday afternoon, I overheard a group of twenty-somethings next to me. They, too, were thoroughly enjoying their cruise. One asked the others, "Wouldn't it be great just to live like this all the time?" They all agreed and started fantasizing about a life of perpetual relaxation, endless drinks, and a non-stop flow of delicious food.

I agree with them about how amazing this experience is, but I couldn't disagree more about making this life. This isn't life. This is something we do once in a while. This is a treat. It's a reward. It's a little luxury. But it's not a life. This can't be everything.

I can't wait to jump back on a cruise ship again one day, but I would never want it to be my life. There are too many more meaningful and impactful things we must accomplish. We can't live a life solely for ourselves. That's a purposeless and empty existence.

While we're on the subject, I can't wait to get back home and back to work. It's going to be wonderful. I have so many thoughts, ideas, and dreams that are ready to be unleashed. Stuffing it all down while I continue to live a life of leisure would be the selfish thing to do.

So I'm going to enjoy the heck out of these last few days, be excited to get back into the swing of work and life, and maybe even plan another vacation for the not-too-distant future.

Find ways to get away, relax, and live in temporary leisure. It's healthy for us, and it's a ton of fun. Go book that trip! But also know it's not everything. It can't be everything. We must find meaning and purpose, and lean into them each day.

Perhaps My Wife Should Leave Me

I recently stumbled into an online message board where people submit their monthly budgets for the broader group to provide feedback.

One person's budget included investing 55% of his monthly take-home income to "build wealth." The group loved it! "Way to go!" "Keep up the good work." "Your future is bright." He was lauded and applauded. Hundreds of comments poured in, ranging from congratulations to requests for advice.

Another person shared how he and his wife each bought new luxury cars and live in a mini-mansion in a prestigious gated community. The group loved it! "You earned it." "Enjoy the spoils of your labor." "That's a sign that you're a success." Some people put them on a pedestal. Some people wanted to know their secrets to winning. Others were jealous, but hopeful to one day be there as well.

Then there was another person. This was a middle-class family with an average income and a normal lifestyle. What caught my eye were a few giving categories in his budget. "Church giving," "xyz org giving," and a category that was clearly meant for people in need. He didn't highlight this in his post, but I did the math: his giving totaled approximately 18% of his monthly take-home income.

Do you think he was applauded like the two families above? Haha, of course not! He was utterly skewered. When I saw his budget, I knew exactly what the comments would look like. "You're an idiot." "Bible-beating moron." "Gullible sheep." Some people accused him of neglecting (or even abusing) his family. Some suggested his wife should leave him to find someone to care for his kids, not someone else's kids. 90% of the commenters agreed he was irresponsible and dumb.

I don't know what was going through that original poster's head as he saw the negative comments stream in. But if they know the secret I know, I hope they just sat back and smiled. Generosity always wins. Always. It's true that when we give money away, we have less money. That's a mathematical fact. This family will most likely have less money in the months, years, and decades to come. But they will be richer.....far richer. They will have more joy, more peace, more impact, more contentment, and more meaning. It's a trade-off. We can have the money, or we can have what really matters.

While getting absolutely destroyed by the commenters on that board, my prayer is that someone else was watching. Someone who knows deep down that generosity is the way. Someone who experiences our culture pushing him downstream, but has the urge to swim upstream. I hope this person was inspired by this man's post. Not just inspired, but enough to take action and eventually become the butt of everyone else's jokes.

I may be an idiot. I may be a "Bible-beating moron." I may be a gullible sheep. I may be neglecting my family. Perhaps my wife should leave me. Or maybe I just know a secret: generosity always wins.

“You’re Being Stupid”

While writing yesterday's post, I found myself reflecting on my current life vs. my previous life. Specifically, I remember one critical conversation with a close, trusted friend as I was on the verge of making the transition. "You're being stupid." Well, that wasn't the exact quote. The exact quote included an f-bomb in the middle......for emphasis, of course! Let's just say this friend thought I was making a life-altering mistake. I don't blame him, though. Taking a 90% pay cut to start your career over while trying to make ends meet may, in fact, qualify as "stupid." 

I wouldn't trade my current life for all the money in the world. The funny thing is, though, my life doesn't look anything like I drew it up on the playbook:

• I have a bunch of awesome coaching clients (that was the only part I knew I would do).

• People pay me to speak at their events (still weird to me!).

• I have the honor of sharing the Meaning Over Money message on podcasts and in my writing (one of the greatest honors of my life).

• I get the surprise privilege of partially owning and jointly operating a coffee company (that wasn't on my bucket list bingo card).

• I have a wonderful corporate client in Texas that I enjoy immensely.

• Though all these things take up a ton of time, I have a lot of flexibility to parent my boys and invest in them. 

In other words, I'm blessed beyond belief. It's easy to look back now and say my decision was the right thing to do. However, there were many times when it felt like the scariest thing in the world. Never mind all the people in my life who told me how terrible a decision I was making. "You're being a bad husband and father" was another fun comment made to me by a trusted friend. Ouch!

People's opinions matter. Their wisdom is valuable. We should seek out the insight of those we trust. Yes, all of those things. But ultimately, we need to make the best decision for our family......even if it's the opposite of what culture says is right. If I was feeling a bit more rowdy, I may even suggest, "especially if it's the opposite of what culture says is right." 

If you want what everyone else has, do what they do. If you want the opposite of what everyone else has, do the opposite. Ultimately, it comes down to values.....your values. 

I recently had a drink with my friend who told me I was stupid for leaving my career. We had a great time. Lots of reminiscing and lots of laughs. In the middle of the chat, he added, "You did the right thing." I'm not sure I needed that from him, but I think I needed that from him. Thanks, my man!

Follow meaning, even if it's hard. No, strike that. Especially if it's hard.