How to Avoid Failure and Criticism

Guys, lean in. Lean in close. A little further. I'm whisper typing. Do you want to know how to avoid failure and criticism? If so, today is your lucky day. It involves two very simple steps. Here you go:

1. Do nothing.

2. Say nothing.

You're welcome!

Ok, back to my normal typing volume. What I just said is 100% true. If you really want to avoid failure and criticism, simply do nothing. People will most certainly leave you alone if you endeavor to accomplish nothing. In fact, you might even be applauded for it by some people in your life. You know, the ones who will feel validated by their own inaction.

This formula is simple, and it stands the test of time. If you try to do something or say something, you will inevitably be ridiculed. However, if you just keep quiet and focus only on yourself, you can possibly avoid the wrath of others.

What path do you prefer? Here's my answer: Give me the wrath every day of the week. If the cost of making a difference is the sharp knife of judgment, I guess I'll take the cuts.

On the heels of losing a particular platform and voice, a trusted friend asked if it made me want to quit. After thinking about it briefly, I responded, "No, it makes me want to double down on my efforts. The mission is too great."

I thought I'd stop failing and getting criticized; I didn't.

I thought I'd get used to criticism and failure; I didn't.

I thought this entire thing would get easier; it didn't.

Some of you are feeling the exact same way. So today, my job is to tell you to keep going. If you're failing and/or getting criticized, it means you're doing something. That's not a stain, but rather a badge of honor. Wear it well.

You can easily avoid failure and criticism—that option is on the table. Alternatively, you can dive head-first into them. I hope you choose the latter today!

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The Competitor In the Mirror

TJ, my Northern Vessel business partner, received a phone call from the Des Moines Register a few days ago. The reporter wanted to know what he thought about Caribou Coffee opening a new location right next door to our Northern Vessel shop. First, that was the first time either of us had heard about Caribou's plans. Second, we did have thoughts!

I'm not sure what the original intent of the article was. I'm being somewhat presumptuous here, and I certainly don't want to put words in anyone's mouth. In short, I think the general idea is that yet another big, national chain location is moving in on local small businesses. This would make sense, as Caribou has more than 750 locations in 11 countries......while we are one of one. This also makes sense, considering it's the prevailing sentiment in our culture right now. Support small. Support local. Stop letting corporations kill the little man.

What TJ ultimately told them was an entirely different story. He talked about how he was excited to have Caribou join the neighborhood, as it would bring more traffic to our little corridor. And if that happens, perhaps we'll have the opportunity to serve those people. Awesome! Here’s an IG Reel he posted about the situation.

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A post shared by NORTHERN VESSEL (@northernvessel)

I don't fault Caribou for moving in—good for them! This isn't about big business vs. small business. It's not about local vs. national. It's not about who deserves to be here vs. who doesn't. It's about excellent vs. not. Will we be excellent? Will they be excellent? Caribou has every right to set up shop and try to be successful. We don't feel oppressed or victimized. Instead, we're grateful. We're grateful for the customers who trust us, for the brand we're building, for our team driving the mission forward, and for the opportunity to get 1% better each day.

It reminds me of something my friend Michael once told me in a coaching meeting: "Losers focus on winners, and winners focus on winning." There might have been a few f-bombs dropped in that sentence, but this is a kid-friendly blog.

Here's the last line of the Register article, a quote from TJ: "At the end of the day, excellence wins." TJ is so right about that one. Our only choice is to be excellent. Luckily, our only desire is to be excellent.

Regardless of what you do, I have a challenge for you! With so much noise all around us, it's so easy to get distracted and sidetracked from the mission. It's easy to take offense, feel threatened, get jealous, and feel robbed. Those aren't choices.....at least not productive ones. Instead, let's just focus on being excellent. After all, our real competition is the person staring at us in the mirror. Excellence always wins. Just be your best today, get 1% better, and do it again. The rest will take care of itself.

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You May Only Get One Chance

I have a talk coming up next week. I'm excited about it, but with my typical nervous energy. All talks mean a lot to me, and this one is no different. It reminds me of a concept I think about a lot. This talk might be my one and only chance to make a difference in someone's life. Some people in that room have never heard my name, and may never hear my name again. However, I have a 60-minute window to make a difference. That's where the nervous energy comes in. What an opportunity! What a responsibility!

Most of you probably aren't giving a talk next week, but you are doing something that will provide you with rare access to someone. For 5, 15, 30, or even 60 minutes, you might have a brief but powerful window to move the needle in someone's life. I think about all the brief interactions I’ve had throughout the course of my life. Many of them are fleeting and unmemorable, but some make a lasting impact.

I think about the stranger who stopped when I was stranded with a broken-down vehicle. I only spent 10 minutes with him in my life, but his assistance made my day (and perhaps saved it as well).

I think about the woman at the stadium security checkpoint who pointed out I had a forbidden (but not dangerous) item in my bag. Instead of forcing me to trudge all the way back to my car, she showed me grace. That saved my night.

I think about a man who took an hour out of his day to meet with a young 19-year-old Travis to share some wisdom and insights about running a business. This guy had far better things to do that day, but he invested in me. I've never seen him again, but wow, he made an impact on me.

None of these people know how much they impacted me…..but I do! We may only get one chance to make a difference in someone’s life. See the opportunity. Embrace the responsibility. Move the needle!

My upcoming speaking event is actually virtual, and it's free! You know what that means!?!? It means every blog reader has the opportunity to attend (if you're interested). It's with the Greater Des Moines Partnership and is part of their Top Five For Small Business series. It's Wednesday, September 25th at 9AM CST. The Des Moines Partnership is a great organization, and they are doing wonderful things to cultivate and grow business and innovation in our city. I'll be giving a slightly modified version of my main keynote talk, so if you haven't heard that talk before, now's your chance! Here is a preview article I wrote for The Partnership last week, which gives you a taste of what to expect. AND HERE IS THE EVENT PAGE WHERE YOU CAN LEARN MORE AND COMPLETE YOUR FREE REGISTRATION. I hope to see some of you there!

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Heartbreak. Joy. Impact.

What makes you angry? What breaks your heart? What makes you sad? What puts a knot in your stomach? What gets you fired up?

These are some of the questions I ask people when they are interested in giving, but don't know where to start. One of my biggest principles in cultivating generosity is making gifts we can emotionally connect to. This is an overlooked aspect of people's giving, which I believe can change everything. Once we connect our giving with our emotions and passions, it unlocks a gear we never knew we had.

I'm writing about this today because something transpired under my roof this weekend. On Saturday afternoon, Finn decided he was going to get the mail. Then, something caught his eye. "Dad, you got something from the children's hospital. It must be a bill." I explained it's probably not a bill, but rather the hospital asking for help. That sparked his interest, so without further ado, he tore open the envelope. He spent the next hour reading, inspecting, and re-reading the documents. He was fixated on this letter. It talked about caring for kids and making sure their families are taken care of.

Fast forward a few hours later, and we were on the couch watching the annual CyHawk football game featuring our Iowa State Cyclones vs. the Iowa Hawkeyes. As much as I don't like the Hawkeyes (sorry, Hawk friends!), they have one of the most beautiful traditions in all of sports. After the conclusion of the first quarter, every person in the stadium - fans, players on both sides, refs, coaches, stadium employees - stop everything, turn their attention to the next-door children's hospital towering above, and wave at all the kids and families in the windows. It's a special moment each and every time. I turn into a puddle just writing about it, and I suspect you'll be the same if you watch this ESPN story.

As the wave began, both my kids were curious about what was happening. Finn especially took an interest in this. The cameras zoomed in on the kids at the windows, wildly waving at the stadium crowd with huge smiles on their faces. Some kids were bald from their treatment regimen, while others were in beds. Finn looked at the kids on the TV, then down to the pictures of kids in the hospital letter he had been reading.

Something clicked inside him. He looked sad, almost introspective. Then, without a word, he walked out of the living room toward his bedroom. He returned a few seconds later with a baggie of cash. "Dad, can I send my giving money to the kids' hospital?"

"You bet, bud. We absolutely can." We filled out the giving form, he delicately placed his $16 into the provided return envelope, and he wrote them a note explaining his gift. He had so much joy doing this. Later today, I'll drive him to the post office so he can personally drop the envelope in the mailbox.

Heartbreak. Joy. Impact. Finn is starting to get it.

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The Destinationless Journey

I was blessed to run into a group of friends yesterday. They were enjoying their weekly coffee outing together, so I crashed their conversation for a few minutes. Though that interaction was only 5-10 minutes, it blessed my day so much.

These four women are a few years ahead of me on their journey. I don't remember how the topic came up, but we began discussing upcoming career shifts (or what most people would refer to as retirement). It was interesting to hear each person's perspective on the topic. All were different and unique, but there was a common thread to each of their responses: What's about to happen is a new stage of the journey, not a destination.

I was so encouraged by their sentiment, which was brimming with impact and meaning. As I always say, work that matters matters. We were created to work, be productive, and serve others. These four women echoed those values in their words, which doesn't surprise me, having known them for many years.

Nobody said, "Wow, I'm just really looking forward to packing it in and riding off into the sunset." It was quite the opposite, actually. It was about finding new ways of making an impact, investing in their families, volunteering, and pursuing new types of work. Meaning, meaning, meaning, and meaning.

There is no finish line. It's a destinationless journey. When we view our lives through that lens, it changes everything. It reminds me of a conversation with a friend in his late 50s. He's done well for himself, and he's been encouraged to retire by many people around him. "You've earned it," they tell him. But every time the R-word gets brought up, he feels his mortality. Why? Because to him, it feels like the finish line of his productive life. In a way, that's cool; but in another way, it's quite sad.

I told him I thought it was all BS. He's in his 50s.....he's young! He still has 20-30 productive years left in him! That's like a long-distance Olympic runner completing two laps around the track, stopping, and calling it a race. The race isn't done yet, man!

I look up to my four friends. I'm so glad I had the chance to spend a few minutes with them yesterday. It encouraged me more than they will ever know. Impact knows no age. Servanthood doesn't retire. Meaningful work is available to all.

It's a destinationless journey. Keep running.

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“Throwing Away” a Career, Revisited

It's 2:30 AM. Sarah and I just pulled in from a 10-hour drive after visiting our best friends, Ryan and Anna. It feels like my brain is melting onto my laptop keyboard, as I single-handedly drove the entire 10 hours solo (Sarah failed to learn how to drive a stick over the last few days.....shame on her!). We intended to drive six hours today and then do the remaining four in the morning, but we got ambitious.

We had a wonderful time with Ryan and Anna. It ended up being 42 total hours together (including two nights of sleep), but it was jam-packed with laughter, memories, food, and good conversation......and Twenty One Pilots!

- I'm definitely kneeling in this picture.....

Given how much time I had to think during the drive home, my mind went in many different directions. Eventually, I found myself thinking back to an article I wrote more than four years ago. It was about Anna, but more specifically, about her counter-cultural career shifts. First, her decision to forego her WNBA career, and second, her decision to leave teaching to pursue her current calling. You can find the article here! While refueling at a gas station, I pulled the article up on my phone. A few thoughts rattled around my dreary, melting brain:

• Having written more than 800 articles since that one, I cringed a bit at my writing style and structure. It shows the power of repetition and consistency.

• It's fun to see how, even then, my perspective of work and meaning were quite similar to today. The phrase "meaning over money" hadn't yet been coined, but the values were loud and clear.

• Given the benefit of time, it's so fun to see how Anna's career shifts (or "thrown away" careers) have shaped her and impacted countless people.

• Nothing is wasted, indeed!

• Pursuing the type of journey that Anna did is far harder than we can imagine, but simultaneously more fulfilling than we can anticipate.

• Knowing what I know now, I'd double down on encouraging Anna in her controversial career shifts. I'd also encourage younger me to double down on this message.

• While I never took my relationship with Ryan and Anna for granted, I look back and wish I had squeezed every ounce of goodness from it I could while we lived near each other.

I'm grateful for my friend Anna, and I deeply admire how she took the path less traveled. It's not been an easy journey, but so many people have been blessed by her contributions to their lives. Someday, I hope she gets a window into some of that impact. Her legacy will have ripple effects, for sure.

I hope you're having a wonderful day, and I hope I'm still sleeping when you read this!

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Your Pain Has Purpose

Just a few hours ago, I walked out of the Twenty One Pilots concert. It's the first stop of their new world tour, and wow (wow!!!), what an amazing experience!

For two straight hours, Tyler Joseph ripped his heart out of his chest and splayed it out before a crowd of 21,000 energetic fans. I've seen him do it before, but it never ceases to amaze me. This man, like all of us, has his demons. Pain, suffering, tragedy, and ongoing anguish. He's broken, just like you and I. However, what sets Tyler apart is the fact he takes the darkest and most embarrassing pieces of his being and uses them to impact the world. Their shows are an exploration of faith, pain, perseverance, and the celebration of life. Last night was no exception!

It reminds me of listening to Joni Eareckson speak at the Global Leadership Summit last week. If you're not familiar with Joni, her life became a national news story in 1967 when, at the age of 17, she experienced a tragic accident while swimming with some friends. She inadvertently dove into shallow waters and became paralyzed from the shoulders down. In the following years, Joni harnessed her pain and unwelcomed circumstances to champion the creation of the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act), write more than 40 books, and become a lifelong advocate for more than a billion people who experience life with disabilities.

Joni's talk was one of the most moving things I've ever witnessed, and she received no less than four standing ovations. I spent the better part of 40 minutes with tears in my eyes, witnessing this woman pour out her soul before a room of strangers. "God uses our weaknesses to impact His kingdom," she exclaimed. Her humility and grace, despite all she's accomplished, stood out like no other. There were a million different people who had more influence, more experience, more smarts, and more skills who could have led this movement. Yet, in her words, God used a young woman, fresh off tragic, life-altering circumstances with no experience or influence, to create change in this world.

As I think about Joni's life and ministry, and continue to marvel at what Tyler does to impact millions of people, I keep coming back to the idea of pain and weakness. Our pain and weaknesses aren't something to hide from. We don't make a difference despite our pain, failings, and weaknesses. Rather, it's those unsavory parts of us that fuel us and have the ability to create a profound impact on this world.

I'll end with a confession. There are days that I'm nervous about hitting "publish" on this blog and our podcast. I share things I don't want to share. I expose myself when I could just bury it. However, deep down, I know that my pain, failings, and weaknesses are the tools with which I can make an impact.

The same goes for you......

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Yes, Even You (and Me)

I have a big talk coming up next week. It's not a large audience, as there will probably only be 100 people in the room. But it's a weighty audience. I have the honor of speaking to a group of people with far more experience and impact than I ever have. They are heroes in my book. Yet, these 100 people will take time out of their busy and productive days to listen to me try to add value to their lives. They will look to me for wisdom, insight, and influence. Imposter syndrome is starting to set in!!!

At the same time, I also confront a different type of reality: We ALL have something to offer. Yes, I have less experience than most of them. Yes, I'm making less impact than most of them (or at least that's what I tell myself!). Yes, I can surely learn a ton from sharing a meal with any one of them. But I have something to offer, too!

Despite the imposter syndrome, I intend for each person to walk out of that room with a completely different way of thinking. I want to equip and encourage them to be even more impactful in this next season of their mission. I aspire for them to look back on that block of their day and say to themselves, "Wow, I'm so glad I went!"

Both of those things can be simultaneously true. On the one hand, we can be in the company of people much further along than we are; on the other hand, we have something to offer them.

It reminds me of a recent conversation with a young professional. He wanted to pick my brain about podcasting and writing. He admires the work we're doing, and wanted to get some insights. Deep down, he's a marketing guy. He lives and breathes it. Recognizing that, I turned the tables on him and started asking him questions. This caught him off-guard, citing, "You have more experience in your pinky than I do in my whole body. You don't really want my advice!!"

Both things were true. I do have a lot more experience, and I did want his advice. He had something to offer, and I let him know that. He wavered somewhere between pride and disbelief, almost as if I was punking him. Eventually, though, he realized I was dead serious. Despite the vast experience gap, he had something valuable to offer me.

The same goes for you! Regardless of your age, background, experience, title, financial status, influence, or relationships, you have a ton to offer. And you don't just have something to offer in rooms full of people "below" you, but in all rooms. Even if you were sitting in a room with Elon Musk, you'd have something to offer him.

If what I just said is true, then perhaps we should all start sharing what we have to offer. No fear. No demeaning self-doubt. No imposter talk. Share it. Make an impact.

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No Truly Original Ideas

In just a few hours, I'll participate in my tenth consecutive Global Leadership Summit in Chicago. In my opinion, this is one of the best conferences in the world, and one of the few events I look forward to every year. It will include two jam-packed days of speakers, ideas, stories, and inspiration. It fills my tank every year, and I couldn't be more excited. Even better is that my guy TJ gets to join me for the third consecutive year. Here's the speaker lineup we're about to enjoy:

I've been reflecting on the idea of ideas. We like to think our ideas are uniquely ours. After all, they do get formulated in our brains and projected from our mouths (or fingers, in the case of this blog). However, there are no truly original ideas. Every good idea is formed from a base knowledge, which is absorbed from all around us. Nothing I type of rant about on the podcast is truly my own. Instead, I am blessed with the opportunity to receive knowledge, ideas, wisdom, and experience from others, process it, and formulate new-ish ideas of my own.

I'm a big believer in acting like a sponge. Think about the little kids in your life. Children absorb EVERYTHING! "But why?" "But why?" "But why?" Their curiosity knows no bounds. However, it's common for adults to get complacent in their curiosity once they leave their schooling years. I've been there. Life gets busy, we think we know enough, and we get set in our ways. The consequence of this approach to life is that we can lose perspective, fall behind on knowledge, and get stuck in our own existing ideas.

Instead, I believe we would all be better off continually seeking new ideas, knowledge, and perspectives. Books, movies, podcasts, online videos, or even a coffee with someone who has something to share. None of these are expensive (mostly free), and we have instant access to some of the brightest minds in the world.

Undoubtedly, any good idea I've ever had on this blog (plus the bad ones....) can 100% be attributed to other people who have blessed me with their knowledge, ideas, perspectives, and experience. That's why I get so jacked up for the GLS each year. I will most certainly go home better than when I left. And if I lean hard enough into these new ideas, I may be able to add more value to your lives as well.

That's the opportunity we each have every day. Always stay curious. Keep growing. Continue learning. Then, share your new-ish ideas with the world so they can grow and develop their own new-ish ideas.

Based on the speaker list above, who are you most curious to hear about? I’m excited to share some of their content in the days to come!

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A Different Kind of Currency

I recently received a message from a reader: "You put in so much work on the blog and podcast, but we get it all for free. Is there any way we can financially support you?"

No. No, there isn’t. No, you can’t. Your money is no good here (as they say in the movies)! I don't create 365 blog posts and 104 podcast episodes per year for money. After all, this is called Meaning Over Money.

However, I do deal in a different kind of currency. Instead of dollars and cents, I get paid in impact and change. Helping other people live a more meaningful life is the beautiful compensation I receive from this work.

Which brings me to you. The best way for me to create impact and cause change is for more eyes to read and more ears to listen. If anything I write or say moves the needle for you, and you think it could perhaps move the needle for someone else in your life, would you mind sharing? As you might have noticed, I've been experimenting with a footer on every day's post that includes a link to subscribe to the blog. The daily e-mail also includes a link to the podcast. Therefore, any time you forward an e-mail, send a blog link, or share the podcast, you're paying me with the most valuable currency I could ever ask for: The opportunity to serve someone.

I would be honored to speak into the life of someone you care about. On the flip side, please share with me if there are other people, resources, blogs, podcasts, or content that adds value to your life (and you think I might benefit, too). We all get better when we share good ideas. I'm honored when my ideas get shared, but I'm also blessed when ideas get shared with me. Let's multiply this culture of sharing. We never know what will happen when the right content hits the right person on the right day. Impact!

Blessed to be on this journey with you!

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But Not As a Lifestyle

Our family has had a great week at the lake. Lots of fun times and memories made. There are components of my day that are so appealing. Playing in the pool with the boys. Sitting at the dock and enjoying the calmness. Sleeping in (if the boys allow). Spending time on a boat. Cooking meals for my family (I love when I get to cook). So good!

I love everything about my time at the lake, but not as a lifestyle. What makes lake life (or insert any type of vacation here) awesome is the fact it's a treat. It's a pause from life. It's a reprieve from an otherwise crazy life. It's the reward for all the good work. It's an opportunity to rest up before jumping back into battle. The fact it's scarce is what makes it all that much sweeter.

I love my time at the lake, but not as a lifestyle. This is one of the biggest myths of the early retirement movement. There's a broad belief that stopping work and dedicating one's life to simply living a life of leisure is the ticket to happiness. I couldn't disagree more, and the science couldn't, either. People who live a leisurely life report lower levels of satisfaction and happiness. On the flip side, people who work and believe they are productive and adding value to others have much higher levels of overall life satisfaction.

I have a friend who just retired at 46. He and his wife believe they found a secret hack to life and will now live a far superior life than all of us working suckers. Their plan is to aimlessly bounce around from beach to beach, resort to resort. Never worry, though. They will "be sure to keep busy," as if busy is the definition of fulfillment. They are a few weeks into this adventure and report feeling "happier than ever." This makes sense, since vacations add a lot of value to our lives. However, what will happen to them in two, four, or six weeks when the vacation doesn't end? What will happen when there's nothing meaningful or fulfilling to return to? If we're looking at the science, the future doesn't look so bright. Time will tell, and I'll be sure to keep you updated.

I miss work. I miss serving those I have the privilege of serving. I can't wait to get back soon. At the same time, I would love to spend time at the lake monthly. Swoop in, recharge the batteries, make a few memories, then get back to work. Work, rest, work, rest. Oh yeah, some sun, too!

I hope you find time to get away. Go have fun. Make some memories. Get some much-needed rest. But you probably don't want to make it a lifestyle. You have far too much value to add to this world (and to yourself).

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Who and Why

Making guest appearances on podcasts is one of my favorite hobbies. There's something profoundly appealing about the opportunity to share some words, ideas, and encouragement with an audience I may otherwise never have access to. I recently had the privilege of spending time on the Masters in Travel Podcast (Episode 179 - on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts). This was a unique format, though. While we did record a traditional podcast episode, it was done in a group setting. There were a few dozen members of the Masters in Travel community on the Zoom call with us. This community and its broader podcast audience is comprised of travel agents from all over the country. It was a fun group and an enjoyable conversation! I highly recommend you check it out.

Toward the beginning of the episode, I talked about the importance of the who and the why. Who are we called to serve, and why are we called to serve them? A big piece of that equation, especially on the front end, is understanding what we're really selling. I got pretty jazzed up with this audience. Not because I have a particular affinity for travel agents, but because of what they are really selling. In a world where virtually everything we buy will be in a landfill in a handful of years, they sell something that will last forever: memories! Travel agents are in the memories business. That's a tremendously profound idea. When we think of it that way, what a rich, fulfilling, and legacy-driven occupation!

Once we understand what we're really selling, it clarifies the who and the why. Some agents may specialize in helping young families create an unforgettable Disney experience for their children. Others might unlock otherwise intimidating experiences for curious adventurers. Still, others may help retirees create once-in-a-lifetime experiences they've dreamed about for decades.

In our respective occupations, the moment we truly understand the who and the why is the moment we discover the special combo of finding meaning in our work and creating impact on the world.

I'll use my business as an example. Yes, I provide financial coaching services, but I'm not really selling financial advice. Rather, I'm helping people unlock a more fulfilling, impactful, and meaningful journey. It just happens to be through the lens of personal finance. I also have a keen sense of the who: 20-somethings and 30-somethings who realize there's a much more meaningful life to be lived than what our culture encourages.

Each of you has your own version of this. Truth is, it’s so easy to lose sight of these things while we’re battling in the trenches day to day. Sometimes, we just need to pause, take a step back, and remember our mission—the who and the why.

Who do you serve? Why do you serve them? What are you really selling? I encourage you to take a moment today to think about these questions.

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Inflicting Impact

I spent Monday trying to get to Houston WHILE a hurricane was pummeling the city (smart move, I know). Nearly every flight was canceled that day, but United re-booked me for a later flight that actually got me there safely. As I boarded my Denver-to-Houston flight, I chatted with a young man (maybe 16 or 17) trying to get home to Houston from a mission trip. Unfortunately, he was the victim of eight flight cancellations over the prior 18 hours. He looked beat up yet oddly optimistic. 

As we boarded the plane, he eagerly awaited his coveted exit row seat. "I've never sat in the exit row before!" Then, as he approached his seat, he disappointingly found a middle-aged man sitting there. They both had tickets for the same seat. The flight attendant quickly swooped in to sort out the confusion. After checking her records, the flight attendant informed the middle-aged man he had unknowingly been upgraded to first class. As he began to vacate his row, the middle-aged man looked at the kid and said, "Why don't you take my seat. Enjoy it!" "Are you for real?" asked the young man. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" The young guy had a massive smile on his face as he turned around and excitedly walked to the front of the plane. 

For the middle-aged man, this probably would have been his 120th time sitting in first class. He knew that. Deep down, I think a little light bulb went off for him, realizing a first-class seat would probably move the needle for the young man. I call this "inflicting impact." Using whatever resources we're blessed with to do the most good. All we have is all we have. It's so easy to get jealous of what a friend, family member, or co-worker has. But that doesn't do us any good. Further, when we dwell on what we don't have, we lose sight of what we do have. Once we become fully aware and present in what we do have, it's our responsibility to manage it well and maximize impact. In the case of that flight, this man used his upgrade to bless someone far more than he would have benefited from it. He inflicted impact with something he had. 

It was such a small gesture, yet I have a feeling that young guy will be sharing his wild story about how that one time he was on a mission trip and got eight flights canceled while trying to fly home in a hurricane, and some stranger generously let him sit in first class. That epic tale will be told for years!!!! Better yet, that sequence of events may even inspire that young man to unlock his own generosity in the days, weeks, and months to come. It's silly and far-fetched to think about, but that middle-aged man may have changed the trajectory of that young man's life. I know, I know, I'm a hopeless romantic……

……but what if?

Inflict impact. Use whatever you have, big or small, to move the needle for others. 

The Tale of Two Encounters

Words are powerful. Words can build up, tear down, create impact, and cause destruction. Whoever championed the "sticks and stones" jingle must not have experienced the wrath of words. Every day, when we go about our business, we wield a weapon. We have a choice: Use it for good or for harm. 

Businesses, and those who represent them, have the same choice to make. It's amazing how many business owners don't fully appreciate the power of words. It seeps through their behaviors, their team, and their culture. I watch business after business flop in the simplest ways. 

I recently had two separate encounters that highlighted this concept. 

The first was at a local restaurant. As my friends and I took turns ordering our entrees, two guys slightly mispronounced the name of their desired order. Both times, the server quickly corrected them. It wasn't a big deal, but again, words have power. They felt slightly embarrassed, and a little ticked that the server felt the need to correct when she knew exactly what they were asking for. 

The second encounter was also at a local restaurant. This time, I was flying solo. After receiving my meal, I noticed I was missing an item. I walked up to the counter, informed them of the error, and respectfully asked if they could provide it to me. Just then, however, I realized I was the one who made the error. The specific combo I selected did not include said item. After catching my mistake, I apologized (being slightly embarrassed) and thanked them. The woman, however, immediately replied l, "No apology needed. That's quite ok. Let me get you one anyway," and then handed me the item I didn't deserve in the first place. It wasn't a big deal, but again, words have power. 

Guess which restaurant I'll be going back to. All because of a few simple yet powerful words. Culture, as demonstrated by these interactions, is a powerful thing. It can make or break a business. 

I was recently hanging out at our coffee shop, Northern Vessel. After ordering my drink, I waited off to the side, chatting with a few other customers. When the customer in front of me received her drink, she told the barista that it was the wrong drink. "This is an x…..I ordered a y." They actually received exactly what they ordered. I heard the order and saw what they received. It was dead on. I knew it, and the barista knew it. But the barista quickly responded without hesitation, "I'm so sorry; I'll get you a new one right away." So perfect! We wasted a drink, but so what? That was the cost of giving the customer a positive experience and using words for good. 

I smiled on the inside, but I probably smiled on the outside as well. I love our team and the way they serve people with hospitality and dignity. It's a beautiful sight.

Sticks and stones can hurt, but words can destroy. Let's be better. Let's demand better. Let's reward better.

When the Distraction is the Work

I returned home yesterday from a long but productive work trip to Houston. It was an unexpected trip. While at my friend Alex's wedding on Sunday evening, I received a call from my Texas client. After a few minutes of discussion, we decided I would hop on a flight the next day. I'm glad I made the trip, but it was a sudden shift in my work. Admittedly, because of this sudden trip, I didn't do a good job knocking out some of my other responsibilities earlier in the week. I felt terrible about it.

This isn't a pity party or a way for me to justify my failings. Rather, I need to set up what happened next. When I arrived at the airport yesterday, I hurried through security and on to the plane, where the plan was to crush all the work I whiffed on earlier in the week. I had a clear mission and a window to accomplish it. My goal was to serve people through the work I needed to do for them. However, something happened next. I got distracted.

I said hello to the older woman sitting beside me on the flight. We exchanged pleasantries as I was getting my computer situated for the onslaught of work I would soon crush. However, the pleasantries led to a much longer conversation. To summarize, she was traveling for very tragic reasons. Behind that was another tragic story, probably one of the saddest and most intense stories I've ever heard.

The truth is, I think she just needed someone to dump a lot of this on. She was carrying a heavy burden—so heavy, in fact, I don't even know how she was still standing. She needed to offload some of it, and I was that person. We had a wonderful talk, and she walked off the plane in great spirits.

However, I failed at my mission. My goal was to serve people with that time, but I got distracted. I whiffed again. In the middle of the flight, as I was beating myself up, I remembered a story a pastor friend once told me. He talked about how he was trying to get work done one day, but he encountered distraction after distraction. Person after person needed something, and he failed to complete his work. Then, a mentor figure reminded him of something: "The distraction is the work."

Yes, my job yesterday was to serve people. Yes, I got distracted from the tasks I was trying to accomplish. However, that distraction was the work for me yesterday afternoon. That's exactly where I needed to be. I did serve people with that time: her.

Life is funny like that. Often, we're so fixated on trying to do our work that we miss our most important work. I'm grateful my impatience, stubbornness, and narrow focus lost to my compassion yesterday. I did accomplish my work, but just not the work I had planned.

Sometimes, the distraction is the work. I need to remember that, and perhaps you do, too.

The Bubbles We Live In

Yesterday was an amazing day for the Shelton family. We had lots of adventures, which were capped off with Finn and Pax's first-ever Cubs game. At the same time, though, friends, acquaintances, and colleagues back home were experiencing unspeakable destruction and pain. Storms rocked our metro, and tornados devastated families and communities. Multiple friends lost their homes (or parts of their homes) and are now left sorting through the debris. Here’s a before-and-after photo comparison of one street:

Truly devastating. I can’t fathom how people begin to pick up the pieces and move forward.

We all live in our own little bubbles. What we experience is largely correlated with what others around us are experiencing, while communities just a few hundred miles away live in their own unique bubbles. 

It's so easy to lose sight of what's beyond our bubble. What's inside our bubble feels like reality, while what happens in someone else's bubble feels like words on a screen; cold, distant, and unrelatable. 

While we can't fully remove ourselves from our respective bubbles, I think we're all called to keep our eyes on other bubbles. When our bubble is feeling good, someone else's is disastrous. When someone's is amazing, maybe that's when ours is hurting. Living open-handed with our eyes cast across the horizon at other people's bubbles allows us to be receptive to felt needs. When we can think and feel beyond what's right in front of us, we can serve a greater purpose and make the impact the world deserves from our influence and actions. 

I may re-read this post in the next few days and realize it's complete gibberish. Or, perhaps it's exactly what I needed to say. Only time will tell. If you were impacted by yesterday's storms, I'm so sorry. I'd love to help you in any way I can. Whatever bubble you're living in, I hope you keep your eyes open and ears attentive. Pain and suffering are universal features of life, but we each have the power to walk alongside others to help ease their burdens. I hope you find a way to bless someone today....whether they are in your bubble or somewhere outside it. 

Stay safe out there. 

Don't Let You Bring You Down

Ugh, it happened again. Who am I kidding? It ALWAYS happens!

Yesterday, I had the honor of guesting on a podcast. It was a live recording with a few dozen people watching, and will be released on a broader scale in about six weeks. I look forward to sharing it with you when it gets officially published. 

I thought it went great.....until about five hours later. Then, it happened again....because it always happens. The self-talk started to creep in. Questions start dancing through my head:

• Did I talk too much?

• Did I make sense? 

• Did I adequately answer their questions?

• Did I drone on? 

• Did I bore them?

• Did I let them down? 

• Did I miss the social cues?

• Did I disrespectfully monopolize the time?

• Did I sound like an idiot?

Crap, this always happens! 

I used to seek ways to stop the self-talk from happening. How do I silence it? How do I shut it up? How do I kill it? Then, it dawned on me. I'm not sure I'll ever stop it, but perhaps that shouldn't be the goal. Instead, the mission shifted. Instead of trying to end the self-talk, I realized I needed to alter what I do with it. 

The way I see it, we have two choices when (not if) the self-talk hits:

1. We can let it crush us. We lose confidence, cower, and step down from our opportunity to make a difference. We begin to intentionally avoid situations where this type of self-talk could creep in. For me, that would mean no more speaking, no more podcasting, no more writing, no more guesting. There's definitely a scenario where I could mostly eliminate most of my self-talk. However, to make that happen, I have to voluntarily give up my opportunity and responsibility to make an impact. 

2. We can call it what it is - a liar - and simply move forward. It's like that one guy on the basketball court who is always running his mouth. He's continually talking trash, trying to get under your skin. Instead of yapping back or letting it mess us up, we just play our game. We keep going, knowing the mission is too great to let some annoying trash talker in our head get the best of us. 

Today's piece isn't advice or shared wisdom. Rather, it's a reflection of what I deal with, assuming I'm far from alone. If that's true, then you can know you aren't alone. We can be not alone together. I'm choosing option #2 above, and hope you do, too. It's not easy, but it's worth it. 

Desperately Seeking Accountability

Yesterday's podcast episode hit unexpectedly hard. Within just a few hours after its release, I received at least a half-dozen messages. It was about how our human predisposition to make excuses robs us of the life we deserve. There's always an excuse if we want there to be one. Ultimately, though, the podcast episode meandered to the idea of accountability. This is where the episode hit so many people. 

In a world where we don't want accountability, we really, really want accountability. We're desperately seeking accountability. To prove this point, I mentioned how hard it is for single people to successfully navigate their finances. In theory, this is backward. Single people have a simpler financial structure and don't have to deal with a partner's incongruent goals/desires. A single person is the boss, and they get to execute the plan solely in accordance with their wishes. Yet, single people struggle like no other. 

Why? Accountability, accountability, and accountability. Or perhaps, more accurately, the lack of accountability. Yes, it's true that two married people will have financial disagreements, differing wants, and tension at times. All true! However, they also wake up each morning staring at their accountability. Every day, when I go out into the world to serve people and financially provide for my family, I'm accountable for doing what I say I'm going to do. Sarah is counting on me....and vice versa. We must follow through on our budgeting, saving, spending, giving, investing, paying the bills, keeping insurance policies in place, and several other financial-oriented tasks. That mutual accountability isn't the sole reason it all gets done, but boy, it's a big driver. 

This is where my single friends can struggle. Ultimately, nobody is holding them accountable to budget, spend, save, give, etc. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Nobody else will even know. There's something defeating about that. It lacks consequence. It lacks reward. It lacks celebration. 

Whether you're single or married, you still face these same dynamics somewhere in your life. I have two: reading and lifting. I can't read a book or get my butt into the gym, but I've released two podcast episodes per week for three years and one blog post per day for 550 consecutive days. Why? Accountability! My podcast listeners and blog readers are there to hold me accountable. If my blog doesn't send at around 6AM CST, I immediately get texts from people checking to see if I'm ok. Many podcast listeners, similarly, have a set rhythm on how/when/where they listen to our podcast episodes each week, knowing new episodes will be released on Mondays and Wednesdays. That accountability is the difference between winning or losing. Between following a calling or falling apart. Between achieving a goal or whiffing. 

If something is important, find accountability. If there's no natural accountability, manufacture it. Create structure that provides you with whatever ingredients you need to follow through. You don't have to, but you deserve to. We are desperately seeking accountability. 

More Tolls, More Quarters

You’ll never guess what happened yesterday! Just hours after sharing yesterday’s toll story, I had my very own toll story. Even more impressive, my story also involves stepping over quarters to pick up nickels. As my week in Houston was wrapping up, I ordered an Uber to drive me to the airport. About a half mile into the trip, the driver looked back at me and asked, “How are you doing in time? In a hurry?” Interesting question. What if I said yes? Would he gun it and drive 90 MPH like a scene out of Fast and Furious? Oh well, no big deal. I turned my attention back to whatever I was doing.

Then, about 20 seconds later, he took an unexpected turn. Before he picked me up, I looked at the map to see what route we would take. Therefore, his sudden turn piqued my interest. Then, it hit me! Thinking back to my pre-drive map session, I noticed it said our route would include a toll….something in the $2.50 range. Ah, that’s it! The Uber driver, now knowing I wasn’t “in a hurry,” decided to take the non-toll route. Why? Because the fare I paid included the toll cost, and if he didn’t have to pay that toll, he could effectively pocket that toll money for himself. 

The moment he initiated his little detour, my GPS updated and said we would arrive 21 minutes later than just a few seconds prior. It ultimately took 18 minutes longer. In other words, he made $8.33/hour for his little toll money grab. All the while, he could have simply and efficiently dropped me off and immediately grabbed a higher-margin drive while at the airport. Worse, his poor and selfish service cost him part of his tip, negating any upside he was trying to gain by playing chicken with my schedule. Had he just served me well, my tip would have been the financial upside he sought. Honest. Deserved. Earned. Instead, he tried to take advantage of someone.....and lost. 

Doing the right thing is always the right thing. Not just because it’s the right thing, but because, in the long run, the right thing is usually the better thing. 

Don’t step over quarters to pick up nickels, and definitely don’t step on others while doing it. Words to live by! I hope you have a blessed day. 

I Met a Weird Guy

I met a guy last week. I had a blast spending time with him. He shared about his journey, his expertise, his passions, and his business. He is a sincere, thoughtful, and generous person. He's also really weird. Yeah, you heard that right. He's a really weird guy. 

Now, before you get upset with me publicly insulting a grown man in front of thousands of people, some context is in order. He's in his early 50s, a seasoned veteran in his field. His most recent position was CEO for a reputable firm. According to conventional wisdom and our prevailing culture, he could do some consulting work for a few years as he coasts toward an early retirement. The table is set for a comfortable and short end to his accomplished career. He could ride off into the sunset and enjoy a life of leisure that everyone probably tells him he deserves. 

Instead, however, he's starting over. He's entering into arguably the most challenging season of his career. He's creating something new from scratch. It's a secular company, but tied closely to his faith. There's a powerful mission tied to it, and if it goes even marginally well, many lives will be impacted. He's uncomfortable, nervous, uncertain, and totally out of his element.....and he's loving every second of it. When he talks about it, his eyes light up, and he has the energy of a 28-year-old.

The world says to race to the finish line, and he's over here starting a new race. 

The world says to stay comfortable, and he just threw that word out the window. 

The world says to coast, and he's pushing his foot on the accelerator. 

The world says he should "actually enjoy his life," and he's doing just that—except enjoying life doesn't mean living a life of leisure. Instead, it means waking up each morning with meaning and purpose. From what he told me, I suspect he's enjoying life more now than ever—not because his life is fun, but because it matters (a ton!). 

The world says to be normal, and he's out there being a complete weirdo. So yeah, I met a weird guy last week. He's the kind of guy who reminds me why I do what I do. He's living a life that reminds me there's an army of people taking the road less traveled. Pursuing work that matters. Throwing comfort out the window. Following a greater calling. Meaning over money. I love my new weird friend!