Tailgating Economics Don't Have to Make Sense

I've always been fascinated by college football tailgating. Growing up in NW Illinois, college sports weren't really a thing. It was Bulls, Bears, Cubs, Sox, and Blackhawks. That's it. It wasn't until I was a freshman at Iowa State that I was exposed to the spectacle of tailgating.

Hundreds of thousands of people gathered in thousands of individual set-ups, circling a single stadium. If the game starts at 11AM, people start tailgating at 7AM. If the game starts at 2PM, people start tailgating at 7AM. And if the game starts at 6PM, people start tailgating at 7AM. There's busses, RVs, food, music, games, beverages, and even big-screen TVs broadcasting other games.

Needless to say, people spend an enormous amount of time, energy, and money to fulfill their tailgating endeavors. It's nothing short of astounding the lengths people will go to enhance their tailgate. I get exhausted just from

Seeing some people’s tailgates, and I'm not even the one investing the time, energy, or money. But they sure are fun!

I love asking people about their tailgates, which are as unique as fingerprints. Each group has its own traditions, food, games, rhythms, schedules, and habits. The key word there is tradition. Whenever you ask someone about their tailgate, their face lights up, and they share how, when, and why it all started (usually many years ago). Some people will tell you they've been doing the same thing in the same location for decades.

If we're honest, the economics of tailgating don't make sense. Many people I know spend as much on tailgating each fall as most families spend on travel year-round. It can be expensive! It's not for everyone, but it's for many. People aren't ever going to justify the math on tailgating, but they will tell you as confidently as the grass is green, it's worth it. This is where the whole meaning over money concept comes into play. Not everything is about money. For some, they simply choose this because it matters.

At the heart of it, it's about something deeper. It's about people. Friends, family, co-workers, neighbors. It's an investment in relationships. It's a way to share experiences and create memories.

I'm grateful for anyone who has ever invited me to their tailgate. It's an opportunity I never take for granted. It's not something I ever aspire to recreate with our own family (especially at the scale many do it), but man, it sure is fun. I have many fond memories of sharing those experiences with people I care about. If that's you, just know I'm grateful!

My Cyclones may have lost yesterday, but the memories I created will last a lifetime.

The Power of (Actually) Shared Experiences

One of my favorite past times is sharing a meal with friends: good company, good drinks, good food, and good conversation. When I look back on some of my favorite memories, it usually revolves around a shared meal. However, there's one problem. In the U.S., we don't actually share in the dining experience. You enjoy your meal, Mary enjoys her meal, Bob enjoys his meal, and I enjoy my meal. We have an experience together, but it's not a truly shared experience. We may be sitting at the same table, but depending on our specific order, we're each having a unique and siloed experience.

This has always bugged me, especially when order regret sets in. You know what I'm talking about. The server brings the dishes out and delicately places each one in front of the person who ordered it. You look at yours, then at your neighbor's, and realize you wish you ordered what they did.....it's the worst feeling!

All this dining angst came to a head when I made my first trip to Asia in January 2016. Sarah and I were invited to fly across the world so I could interview for a board position. Our first night rolls around, and it's time for dinner. I'm eagerly anticipating this meal, as I love unique food, and it's my first time eating Asian food in Asia. I'm totally geeking out, while at the same time nervous. What will I order? What if I make the wrong choice? What if I accidentally order something I don't like? There are so many things to eat....how do I pick just one? I'm weird, I know.

But as we get settled into our seats and it's time to order, something weird happens. My friend Rob just started ordering. He asks if anyone wants anything in particular, then continues to order more. A while later, food starts coming out. The plates, platters, and bowls are haphazardly set wherever there is space to house it. Then, the good part. Everyone starts serving themselves from each of them. You know, like you do at home with your family. You know, a truly shared experience. It was an amazingly fun experience. I tried maybe 15 different dishes that night, and each person at the table also experienced those same 15 dishes. It was a shared dining experience we don't often get here in the States.

An example of a truly shared experience meal. Notice the massive lazy suzan to efficiently share with each other. This picture makes me hungry!

From that point on, it changed how Sarah and I experience food when we go out to eat. She orders something, and I order something, then we share. As our kids have grown, we've expanded that experience. Each person will choose a menu item, and we request the servers to set all of them in the center and provide some extra plates. Then, we have our fun shared experience.

It's been a beautiful shift for our family. It adds an entirely new dynamic, excitement, and bonding. There's so much meaning in shared experiences, and I encourage everyone to seek them out whenever possible.

One Relationship Away

A decade ago, I was an avid user of a program called Instapaper. This tool allows you to save web articles and documents in a central location for later reading. If you’re anything like me, I frequently see interesting things to read, but am too busy with other obligations to digest it on the spot. Enter Instapaper. This app lets you click a button on your phone or desktop browser, and boom (!!!), it’s forever saved and organized until you decide to read it.

For reasons I don’t quite understand (but may have something to do with the craziness of becoming a parent), I stopped using the app. Today, after years of frustrations of not remembering where I saw this article or that research paper, I decided to dust off Instapaper and bring it back into my life. No, this isn’t an ad for Instapaper…..but it should be! As I was cleaning up my account, I was reviewing some of the articles I read back in the day. Right at the top of my list was this gem:

That’s my Meaning Over Money business partner, Cole The Hawkeye Killer Netten! Funny thing about this article. When that article was published, I had never even met Cole. I was a Cyclone fan, and it was cool that a local guy was having big-time D1 success. The man in that article was a stranger to me. Today, however, he’s someone I trust deeply and spend a lot of time with (though not nearly as much as I wish we could). The world is so small! It seems big – and in many ways it is – but it’s also much smaller than we realize.

In August of 2015, I was at the Global Leadership Summit, and Craig Groeschel was talking. I can’t remember the full context of his talk anymore, but one particular line hit me hard. He said, “You may be one relationship away from changing the trajectory of your life.” Deep down, I think I knew this was true. Three weeks later, I met the first of two men who would swiftly and dramatically change my life. Kevin Sutton from Coldwater Foundation in Grand Marais, MN. Kevin taught me the importance of being comfortable being uncomfortable. My time with him over just a few days would transform my life. He remains a close friend to this day.

Just one month later, I would meet Gary Hoag. I’ve mentioned Gary many times in this blog, but Gary revolutionized the way I view generosity and stewardship. A few months after that meeting, Gary invited me to serve alongside him for an organization in SE Asia. The rest is history, as they say.

I’m grateful for Cole, Kevin, Gary, and so many others who have literally transformed my life. Here’s the takeaway today. The world is small and relationships deeply matter. Be available and be curious. You never know who may wander into your life and stir up trouble.

Nothing Is Wasted

My young friend Cam, an accomplished track athlete, just finished her high school athletic career a few days ago. She’ll soon graduate and move on to the next chapter of her life. In the aftermath of her last formal competition, she posted something on IG that caught my eye. Her words were profound, and I thought they were worth sharing:

For years, it’s been “on to the next one.” Those two laps on the track… that was it. Now there is no “next one.” The challenges I’ve faced in sports—physical and otherwise—have undoubtedly shaped me to be who I am today. I’m sure the opportunities to apply the lessons I have learned in my future *non-athletic* endeavors will be limitless. I have now broken one ceiling—it’s time for me to find another.

It’s always hard to close chapters in life, especially when they’ve been such a key part of our journey for many years. When I read Cam’s words, I think back to my high school basketball career. I mourned that loss for a long time (I wish I had Cam’s wise perspective at that age). I also think back to several other major shifts in my life, including my drastic career move in 2019.

I think Cam nailed it when she talked about applying the lessons learned in her future endeavors. Whether we’re moving on from a sport, relationship, job, or any number of other chapters, nothing is wasted. Nothing is thrown away. Nothing is squandered. The experiences, relationships, influence, memories, failings, achievements, habits, and learnings. Cam will take each of those with her and apply it to whatever comes next. Then she’ll do it again….then again. Every step of the way, Cam will get better and more people will benefit from her good work. It’s a beautiful thing.

Let Cam’s words sit with you today. Some of you know there’s a major shift that needs to happen in your life, but you’re scared to “throw away” the thing you need to move on from. Just remember, nothing is wasted. Be grateful for all you’ve gained and experienced from this season of life, but at the same time be willing to step into the next great thing.

Memories Are Memories

In a world obsessed with more, more, and more, we can often lose sight of what really matters. In the last week, I’ve had several conversations with parents about how they are spending thousands upon thousands of dollars on their kids. Sometimes they classify these expenditures as wants, and other times as needs. But as a general rule of thumb, if it doesn’t involve a doctor, there are very few purchases in the $1,000+ range that classify as true kid needs.

I’m not necessarily disparaging these purchase decisions. People can do whatever they want and certainly have the right to do so. However, in the midst of all the spending, we sometimes lose perspective. We can get so consumed by the idea of more spending = more fun, more memories, and more happiness. Yes, there are some memories and experiences that more money can buy. No doubt about that! My friends Cole and Kate invested in an amazing trip to New Zealand several years ago. Those memories and experiences were unique and breathtaking……and expensive. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. In fact, I celebrated it while I lived vicariously through them.

At the same time, memories are memories. Memories don’t keep score with dollars. A positive memory that costs $10 has the same value as a positive memory that costs $10,000. Last weekend, Sarah was out of town and I had a “man weekend” with the boys. We had so much fun. One of the days was packed with all sorts of adventures and activities. As I was tucking the kids to bed that night, out of nowhere Finn exclaimed, “Daddy, today was the best day ever!” Wow, that one got me and it suddenly felt like someone was cutting onions in their bedroom. Weird how that happens to us guys sometimes. As I thought about the day, I realized all we spent was $6 for a couple of ice cream cones. The truth is, they didn’t care if we had the simplest day or the most financially extravagant day. All they cared about was having me fully present and engaging with them. Kids can humble us like that.

Next time you feel guilty for not being able to “provide” something for your kids, or you feel the pressure to spend money on xyz because everyone else is, remember that memories are memories. They don’t care what you spend. They aren’t keeping score with money. When it’s time to spend on something expensive, great. But if not and until then, please don’t discredit or overlook all the amazing opportunities in front of you to create memories each and every day.

Fun is Free

In a recent post, I advocated for people not reactively cutting fun spending from their life. I argue these things can be important and we shouldn’t always be so quick to gut them. As he often does, my friend Randy hit “reply” on the e-mail and shared his insights with me. He reminded me that we don’t need to spend money to enjoy life. He’s so right!

There are a lot of fun things money can buy, but there’s not a direct correlation between cost and fun. Cost doesn’t equal fun. Fun equals fun. It reminds me of last year’s spring break trip with my family. We drove to a nearby city, stayed in a hotel, ate a bunch of good food, and took the kids to see/do a ton of fun things. When we got home, I asked the kids what their favorite part of the trip was. They both had the same response: “swimming with Daddy.” They were referring to the time we spent in the dumpy indoor pool at the hotel. You know, one of the few things on our trip that didn’t cost money.

As I reflect back on my life, there’s a very low correlation between money and fun. Sure, I’ve done some really fun things that cost a lot of money. Sitting courtside at a Dallas Mavs game = a ton of fun! Traveling to Asia = so much fun! But if I’m really honest with myself, most of the fun I experience in my life is either free or very cheap. Getting ice cream cones with the family. Going on bike rides. Shooting hoops at the park with the boys. Grabbing a drink or coffee with a friend. Having a Netflix date with Sarah.

Simple is good, and simple can be fun. When we realize we don’t need money to enjoy life or have fun, it gives us freedom and it forces us to think creatively. In that creativity comes joy, fun, and memories. I always enjoy the occasional splurge on some luxury fun, but most of the time, I really love soaking in the simple joys that make life worth living.

Challenging Your Beliefs

We just arrived in Doha, Qatar, in what should be a whirlwind 24-hour adventure. This is one of our favorite places to visit. I absolutely love the Middle East. A handful of years ago, there’s zero chance I would have ever said that. When I was first offered the opportunity to travel there for work, I was admittedly nervous. After all, I watch the same news coverage you do. Lots of bad things happen in the Middle East. Then, I went…..and it changed everything for me. The Middle East is one of the safest, most family-friendly places in the world, full of sights, culture, and amazing food. Never in a million years would I think that……until I saw it with my own two eyes. I’ve been to 10 countries there and each one offers a different and unique perspective. I always look forward to going back and seek out reasons to do so.

We’re still trying to decide what to do while we’re here. Maybe we’ll ride camels, or take a dip in the Persian Gulf, or take a 4x4 tour across the expansive sand dunes. All of these are amazing experiences, by the way! We’ll most certainly eat a bunch of good food, drink tasty coffee, walk through the historical markets, and stare at the brightly lit skyline at night.

Going to the Middle East forced me to challenge my own beliefs. Had I spent my whole life being scared of the Middle East, I would have robbed myself of something wonderful. I’m grateful for younger me for leaving his comfort zone to try something new. Today’s Travis and Sarah will benefit because of it.

This applies to travel, but it also applies to so many other areas of our life. We all have bias and other deeply seeded beliefs that act as guideposts to our thoughts and actions. It’s always healthy to challenge them in the name of growth. Challenging them doesn’t mean we’re wrong, but rather gives us an opportunity to grow. It’s always hard, but always worth it.

Food is More Than Food

For me, one of the highlights of traveling is the food. That’s certainly been the case on this trip! I’ve probably tried more than 30-50 new dishes in just the past week. I’ve loved some, liked most, and a few weren’t my cup of tea. These have been wonderful experiences and I’m so glad it’s been part of our trip.

Food is always more than food. Yes, we’re exchanging money for an item on a plate. However, it’s almost always about more than that. Food is a representation of culture. When we experience food, we’re immersing ourselves in someone’s culture. The flavors, the ingredients, and the techniques. Take Tom Yum, for example. Tom Yum is a Thai soup comprised of seafood (squid in my case), lemon juice, seafood stock, and other veggies and spices. We were with a few friends in a small fishing village just on the other side of Monkey Mountain (a story for another day). The small street was lined with little seafood markets/restaurants serving up that morning’s catch. Tom Yum was just one of many dishes we enjoyed, but one that stands out to me as truly unique. This meal was one of the highlights of my trip. Spending time in that environment, eating those flavors, and learning about Thai culture was an amazing experience. I learned so much, and enjoyed every single bite.

Next, and more importantly, experiencing food with others allows us to build relationships. The shared experience, quality time, and meaningful conversation is the perfect recipe for the cultivation of relationships. We spent the last 4 days growing a relationship with an old friend and creating a relationship with new friends. These are truly some of the best people we’ve ever met. Just days ago they were strangers who grew up in different countries, speaking different languages. Today, they feel like family. The meals we shared and the time we invested in each other will most certainly create relational momentum for years to come. Maybe someday we’ll have the opportunity to share some of our culture (through food) with them. That would be a true blessing.

So yeah, food is awesome. I love food. But food is always about more than food. I’m grateful for the experiences, cultures, and relationships it can help unlock. Next time you have the opportunity to enjoy a fun meal, remind yourself it’s about far more than just food.

There's So Much We Don't Know

Yesterday, we wrapped up two days of meetings and said goodbye to our friends. It was a long few days and lots of important work was accomplished. We grew our relationships, created memories, shared food (lots of food!), and told stories. The experience was priceless.

This morning (Thailand time while you were all sleeping), Sarah, me, and a few other friends hopped on a plane to Hua Hin, a beach town on the Gulf of Thailand. As we left the airport and stepped into Hua Hin, it felt like we were entering Florida. Palm trees, humid weather, and countless tourists excited to begin their vacation. So many familiar things, but also quite foreign at the same time. I couldn’t read any signs, the roads and driving patterns were quite different, and I didn’t recognize many of the storefront brands.

One of my favorite parts about international travel is that literally everything we do is new to me. It’s a constant reminder about how much I don’t know. Even a trip to the grocery store unearths new finds and curiosities. Life can feel so repetitive at times. The same roads, the same buildings, the same routines. Then when we travel abroad, every little bit of our day is unfamiliar, maybe uncomfortable, and extremely interesting. As I sit here writing this, I’m watching a sport I’ve never seen (or even heard of). Indoor soccer on a basketball court with a tiny little soccer ball. These players are like magicians, maneuvering this familiar but unfamiliar ball on a court that’s also familiar (but not).

The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know. It’s a humbling feeling, but also exciting. It’s a constant reminder that we’ve only scratched the surface of life. We can choose to fall into what’s normal and comfortable each day, or we can choose to learn something new by putting ourselves in unfamiliar and uncomfortable situations. I need to do that more often in my day-to-day life. If you ever see me in the street, ask me how I’m doing with it. It’s an endeavor worth pursuing.

Investing in Memories: Reader Edition

I often talk about the idea of investing in memories. I cover it in my speaking, podcast, and in this blog (including HERE, HERE, HERE, and HERE). Investing our resources in memories, I believe, is one of the keys to living with meaning. Our stuff ends up in a landfill, but our memories last a lifetime.

With that in mind, something fun happened this past week. Three different readers shared a recent situation in their life pertaining to this very topic. One took their grandkids to a fairly expensive event, one attended the NFC championship game, and one splurged for Hamilton tickets on Broadway while in NYC. I absolutely loved hearing each of these stories. All three included a similar sequence of events:

• The price tags gave them sticker shock

• It wasn’t something they would normally do

• There was some anxiety about the decision

• They went for it!

• It was amazing

• Zero regrets

• “I will remember that forever”……..or some variation of that comment

Beautiful stuff! I’m so glad they said “yes” to memories. What memories have you invested in lately? If you haven’t, what are you waiting for!?!? Make some plans, big or small, and go for it!

The Curse of Comparison

When I was growing up, the only Christmas I experienced was my own. I knew what it looked like in my home, and my friends theirs. Technology changed the game with the invention of social media. Maybe some of you are in the same camp, but I spent some time scrolling through Facebook and Instagram yesterday. Christmas post after Christmas post. And maybe some of you can also relate to having a multitude of feelings when seeing other people’s Christmas celebrations. Feelings such as:

• “They look happier than us”

• “They have more presents than us”

• Their house is a lot nicer than ours”

• “They have way better food than we’re having”

• “Their trip looks way more fun than being in this frigid weather”

If you had any thoughts such as these, you’re not alone. I’m guessing many of us did. After all, it’s human nature. It’s the curse of comparison, and social media amplifies it unlike anything we’ve ever dealt with before. There are a few major problems with comparison:

1) We only compare ourselves to people who have more or better than we have. We rarely stop to compare ourselves to those who are less fortunate than us……which by the way is the vast majority of the world.

2) There’s always someone with more than us to compare ourselves to. Even Jeff Bezos, the 5th richest person in the world, could compare himself to Elon Musk (2nd richest person in the world) and jealously wish he had that additional $50 billion. No matter how well we have it, we’ll find someone to compare ourselves to. Whether it’s family, a job, a house, status, cars, or presents under the tree, we’ll definitely find someone to unfairly compare ourselves to.

3) Comparison robs us of appreciating what we do have. I have so much in life, but after spending 10 minutes on Facebook this afternoon, I felt like a nothing. It can be demoralizing at times, so it’s important to always take time to reflect on and be grateful for what we do have.

4) Social media is people’s highlight reel. It portrays them at their absolute best, the way they want to be seen, in a moment of time. We don’t know what’s happening in the other 99.9% of their lives. Sadly, many are hurting just like you and me. So when we see their social media post, don’t extrapolate them to believe their lives are perfect and pristine. I promise you they aren’t.

No matter what your Christmas looked like, I hope it was your version of amazing filled with special moments, time with loved ones, and memories that will last a lifetime. Merry Christmas!