The Tale of the Traveling Grandfather

Due to circumstances that are both ridiculous and irrelevant to this story, I rode the terminal-to-terminal train at the airport for over an hour last night. I had a three-hour layover, so no harm no foul. While I was busy watching the world fly by over and over, I struck up a conversation with an older man. He was headed abroad to visit one of his kids (and grandkids). The conversation started innocent enough, but it got real serious, real quick.

He and his wife, at the advisement of nearly every person in their lives, decided to take an early retirement (in their early 50s) in the late-1990s. They were in a financial position to make it work, and considering how much we glorify retirement in our culture, it seemed like an obvious step. He said it was the dumbest decision either of them ever made. They both loved their careers, but the allure of “not working” was too inviting. Retirement wasn’t all it was cracked up to be…..it didn’t feel like there was purpose. Then, his wife unexpectedly passed away. So sad. Here he was, a young-ish guy, having left a career he loved, mourning the loss of his partner. 

“What do you do now?” I asked him. “I’m a traveling grandfather.” Oh, tell me more! He explained that his kids were scattered all over the world; a handful in the U.S. and a handful in other countries. He bounces from kid to kid, helping out where he can and spending time with his grandkids. His eyes lit up when he shared about this lifestyle. “It’s a different way of life, but I love it.” Today, he’s nearly 80 years old, traveling the world, finding new ways to serve people and add value. He’s fulfilled and lives with a ton of meaning. It’s a unique path; it’s his path. 

There is no “right” path to live a meaningful life. But regardless of what it looks like for you, it doesn’t happen by accident. It certainly doesn’t happen by pursuing a life of leisure. It happens by identifying what matters most and finding ways to serve others through that lens. Our selfish culture says the key to happiness is to serve ourselves. That’s a bald-faced lie. The only true way to find meaning (not happiness) is through the service of others. It’s ironic that the best way to serve ourselves is by serving someone else. That’s what unlocks life-giving fulfillment and meaning. 

I feel terrible this man had to experience what he did along his journey, but it made my day listening to him talk about how much meaning he has in his life today. I’ll say it again. There is no right path to a meaningful life, which is why I never concretely define what it’s supposed to look like. But I can tell you one thing: It involves a heck of a lot more than the pursuit of a life of leisure, or money, or stuff, or status. Aggressively chase things that fill your bucket, and the best way to make that happen probably involves helping others fill theirs. 

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Poof, In Real-Time

In two recent posts, Poof and The Alternative to Poof, I discussed the importance of businesses not weaponizing their owner's values. Weaponizing values is the opposite of excellence, and is a great way to destroy the company you spent so much blood, sweat, and tears building. It also robs your customers of the opportunity of simply being served well. Instead, I offered a simple yet profound alternative: Just be excellent. Serve all customers with excellence.....period. If your customers share your values, serve them with excellence. If your customers have values that tremendously contradict yours, serve them with excellence.

I was intentionally vague in my initial post, not wanting to point fingers at the specific business in question. My job wasn't to tear them down, but rather to use that situation as an opportunity to explore these concepts. Today, however, I'm going to highlight one real-time example. Before I do, though, I need to clarify one thing. What I'm about to say is not an indictment of this business owner's values or beliefs. Instead, it's a judgment on this business weaponizing the owner's values. I believe in this concept regardless of which side of any value-based argument you're on.

As reported in The Daily Mail, Kristin Wolter, owner of Everbloom Design, a Memphis-based florist specializing in weddings, recently took to her BUSINESS social media account and proclaimed, "I won't do business with people who support the president-elect."

As expected, the response was fierce and swift. This behavior is anything but excellent. Flowers are supposed to be joyful. Weddings are supposed to be joyful. Yet, here we are talking about half the country not being welcome to patronize this business. She temporarily closed her business in the immediate aftermath to let the dust settle. But what's next? Hope the remaining 50% of Americans will align with her boldness and show even more "support?" Again, that's not excellence.....that's pandering.

This woman has every right to have beliefs - even the strongest of beliefs - regardless of what you, I, or anyone else thinks of them. This is America, and she's free to have them. And she's also free to weaponize them through her business, if she so chooses (and she clearly did). But to what end? What now? Can she survive (nevermind thrive) now that 50% of her customer pool is gone? Will she now rely on the support of customers with similar beliefs (and equally strong convictions) to keep her afloat? How do you focus on joy and excellence with a cloud of anger wafting in the air?

Again, she has every right to do this. But just because you can, it doesn't mean you should. In her haste, she just violated a key principle of business: Serve people with excellence.

I don't fault her for her beliefs. I fault her for deciding the best course of action was to weaponize her values through her business. It stinks (figuratively and literally). There are no winners in this situation, and unfortunately for her, she may end up being the biggest loser of all.

Business owners, please choose excellence. Yes, you have values, but your business does not. Just be excellent.

Consumers, please choose excellence. You have options. Reward excellence. Demand excellence. Benefit from excellence.

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Throw Deep, Baby

Social media saves me again. I'm utterly exhausted from all that occurred in the past week (single dad life while Sarah traveled, Grandma's passing and subsequent funeral, basketball practices, and travel to Mississippi). As I pondered what I should write about today, I decided to open the inspiration machine (i.e. TikTok). It didn't take more than 45 seconds of scrolling for me to stumble upon a brilliant clip featuring Forrest Gump himself, Mr. Tom Hanks.

@dominatingmotivation2 If your gonna do something, Throw Deep.💯#motivation #mindset #quotes ♬ original sound - DominatingMotivation

I don't have the full context of this conversation, but he's being interviewed. The interviewer asks, "What is the best advice you've ever heard or received?"

Here is Tom's response: "Throw deep, baby. If you're gonna do it, do it. If you have the chance, do it. Don't pause. Instinct, man. If you got an instinct, go at it. Throw deep."

This is one of the scariest mindsets one can have. Throwing deep, relying on instinct, just hitting "go," not pausing, going for it. This is a sure-fire way to fail. If you approach life with this mindset, you WILL fail. Oh yeah, it's also why you'll succeed.

Ask any successful person about failure. They won't laugh at you and tell you how they never failed; far from it! Instead, they will probably elaborate, in great detail, about their many whiffs, failings, and embarrassments. Going deep is a recipe for disaster, and beauty. It's the secret to being humbled, and doing something that matters. It's the door to pain and suffering, and the joy of accomplishment.

I used to believe in playing life safe. Get an education. Get a "secure" job. Hold onto said job for dear life (even if it sucks). Be financially responsible; be frugal, hoard resources, keep them for myself. Coast through life, pursuing comfort every step of the way.

If you know me today, you hopefully associate me as the anti of all I just described. Throw deep, baby, as Mr. Hanks suggests. It's a tremendously difficult and humbling way to live life, but wow, it's meaningful. There's nothing safe about my family's life anymore. We have far less income, much more uncertainty, and anything but stability. But in its place is meaningful work, life-giving generosity, a spirit of adventure, and a relentless pursuit of meaning and impact.

Wherever this meets you today, I hope it gives you something to think about. Maybe you have a wild idea you're hesitant to run with. Perhaps you're itching (but scared) to start that business. Maybe you're being called to make a counter-cultural career shift. Perhaps you feel the nudge to open the floodgates of generosity.

Whatever is on your mind and heart today, I hope this triggers something within you. Throw deep, baby!

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Listening to Those Nudges

After my Grandma's funeral on Saturday, I hopped in the car and bee-lined a two-hour drive to the airport so I could board a flight to Mississippi. I'm hanging out in a dry ice plant in SW Mississippi for the next few days, trying to add value to one of my clients.

I spent yesterday grinding in the office, which was extremely productive. As lunchtime approached, I realized I had no vehicle, and there wasn't anything within walking distance. Thus, I pulled out my rarely-used DoorDash app to save me.

When using digital platforms, I tip cash if I have it on me. Call me a conspiracy theorist, but tipping cash is the only way to ensure 100% of that tip ends up in the hands of its intended target. Luckily for me, I had about $50 in my pocket.

That was the setup, and here's the story. I waited about 20 minutes for my food to arrive. During that time, I felt a nudge. It was a nudge to lean heavy on the tip. My entire order was $10, so what does a heavy tip mean? $5? $10? More? As time passed, I felt a continued nudge to lean even heavier; by the time the driver was pulling up with my delicious Taco Bell, I felt oddly convicted I needed to give the entire $50 stack to the driver.

I long ago learned to listen to these types of nudges, no matter how crazy they may seem. Some may call it intuition, while others may refer to it as the Holy Spirit. I'm not in the judging business.....I'm in the listening business. In our family, we respond to nudges, and today, Mr. Taco Bell DoorDash was the target of a nudge.

I eagerly waited for the delivery car to peek above the hill. As he pulled up, I noticed a few things. He was driving an incredibly beat-up truck......nearly falling apart. His wife (or girlfriend) was sitting in the passenger seat. Her name was the registered Dash driver, but they were clearly out making runs together. When he hopped out of the truck to bring my food, he was extraordinarily polite. I noticed a big cross on his T-shirt. He handed me my food, said, "God bless," and quickly turned toward his hanging-on-by-a-thread truck.

I shouted that I had a tip for him. He turned back toward me. "Oh, thank you much," as he re-approached me. I handed him the cash. "Are you serious? You have no idea! I don't even know........thank you, thank you!"

Nudges, man! I don't know what the story is, but I know there's a story. I'll probably never know the full context of what it meant, and that's ok. My job isn't to piece it all together, but rather to play the tiny role I was called to play. I peacefully went to bed last night, knowing I listened to that nudge.

Listen to those nudges. Yes, they can be weird. Yes, they can be uncomfortable. Yes, they can challenge us. But they exist for a reason. Stretch yourself and lean into them. Generosity always wins!

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Time Flies (Even When You're Not Having Fun)

We said goodbye to Grandma yesterday. It was a beautiful funeral service, and I’m so grateful for everyone who served, attended, and played a role in that experience. 

One of my highlights was spending time with my three cousins, whom I don’t see as often as I should. We aren’t as close today, but we were thick as thieves when we were younger; hanging out with them was always a high point of my year. It was so much fun catching up with them and their wives yesterday, and hearing about where life has taken them. 

My Mom and aunt put together some photo boards for the event, and the “cousin pics” were my favorites. So many memories, each of which is intimately intertwined with Grandma and Grandpa. Here’s a fun one!

In my head, this picture was taken about five years ago. However, considering the six boys in this photo now range from 37-49 years old, it’s safe to say it’s been a few more years than that. 

Time flies when you’re having fun…..and when you’re not. This life is so short, no matter how you live it. There are days, weeks, and months where it seems to move at a snail’s pace, but on the whole, it’s far too short. 

Far too often, in the pursuit of wealth, shiny objects, and fancy titles, we forget what matters most. We chase, chase, chase, forgetting what we are really searching for. Meanwhile, time melts away and the next thing we know, we look up and decades have sadly passed.

Therefore, I have just one clear and simple message today. Live your short life with meaning. Embrace every bit of it. Don’t let money, stuff, and status get in the way or taint it. You get one shot at this thing, so you might as well make it count. 

Have a meaningful day!

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You’ll Never Be Ready

I recently saw a stunning yet not surprising statistic. The U.S. birth rate is at a 75-year low. We're having half as many babies as we did in 1950 (12 per 1,000 people now vs. 24 per 1,000 people then). Even crazier, the birth rate has decreased every year since 1988. Wild!

There are many reasons why this trend has been so pronounced and consistent, including higher divorce rates, more career-focused dual-income families, and people waiting longer to get married. However, there's one reason I, for obvious reasons, see over and over and over. People regularly wait to have kids "until they are financially ready."

Some of you will laugh at my next statement, but it warrants being said. You will never be ready. Nothing in this world will prepare you, financially or otherwise, to have kids. Yes, kids are expensive. That notion gets a lot of air time. However, there's another fact that doesn't get near enough play. Kids only cost what you spend on them. Rich people have been having kids for centuries. Poor people have been having kids for centuries. We only have what we have.

Would it be nice to have more? Yeah, sure. But reflect on your childhood. Were you uber-focused on how rich or poor your parents were? In my hundreds of conversations about this topic, most people only fully understand their family's economic status once they are grown. To them, as a child, life was just "normal." I just chatted with a man who grew up in poverty. He noted that it wasn't until he was 19 that he realized they were "poor poor," as he put it. But he had nothing but wonderful things to say about his parents and childhood. He grew up in a loving lower-class family. The alternative to his amazing life would be if his parents threw their arms in the air and simply said "well, we can't afford it," erasing him from history. His parents were never going to be financially ready, yet here we are. They have a beautiful family…..and it's not because they did or didn't have money.

There are a lot of things NOT to do due to a lack of resources. Marriage and kids are not on that list. If you want to get married, get married. If you want to have kids, have kids. There's far more to life than money, and none more meaningful than relationships and family. 

Many of you already have kids. This message might not land on you at the right time in life. However, there are most certainly people in your life who need to hear this. Encourage them. Walk with them. Show them meaning over money. They will thank you someday.

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When Our Brains Deceive Us

Our brains are an amazing thing. They allow us to think, remember, problem-solve, create, and dream. They are truly one of the most remarkable feats in this world. Yet, at the same time, our brains are quite fallible. Even when we feel strongly convicted about something, our brains sometimes deceive us. Scientists have done many notable studies on this phenomenon, which always blows my mind.

It's also a phenomenon I see in my coaching work on a near-daily basis. As we're out there living our busy lives, we may have one understanding of our reality, but the truth is something completely different. I'll share a few examples:

• A couple wanted to finish their basement. They were confident it would cost around $20,000.....dead-set on that being the number. By the time they finished, it was closer to $65,000. Why? Because they were anchoring their perception of cost on an older, uninflated number. Also, they didn't mentally account for higher level of finishes or the few extra side projects they included. Needless to say, they were flabbergasted.....and stressed.

• Another couple was struggling on their dining out budget. They continually overspent their desired amount by a wide margin. One of the spouses exclaimed, "We don't even go out to eat that much! It doesn't make any sense!!" Since they track everything, we pulled up the facts. Over the prior three months, they averaged 42 dining out trips per month. On the one hand, they "don't eat out that much," but on the other hand, they actually eat out nearly 1.5 times per day!

• Another couple was brutally naive to the cost of their pets. In our first meeting, I asked them how much their pets cost. $25 per month, tops. When I questioned them about this, they confirmed all they buy is a big bag of food every few months. Their pets cost them "almost nothing." After tracking for a year, they discovered they actually spend $450/month on their pets. Minds blown!

• The last couple were preparing for a weekend road trip. I encouraged them to budget adequately for it. They thumbed their noses at my number, insisting it would cost "Almost nothing. A hotel room, a tank of gas, and a few cheap meals." They insisted on only allotting $200.....the actual cost was $700.

It's not because any of these couples are dumb or uneducated.....far from it! Rather, it's a real phenomenon where our brain deceives us. We compartmentalize, gloss over things, and get distracted by all the noise. It happens to all of us.

I don't have a solution, but I do have a recommendation. Be aware this is probably happening to you. Acknowledge your brain isn't perfect. Be intentional; budget, execute, and track. When we arm ourselves with the real facts, it can be an eye-opening experience, helping us get better at this money stuff. Be mindful!

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731 Ideas

In the reflective and surprised words of Ron Burgundy, "Boy, that escalated quickly." Two years; November 14th, 2022. Today is the two-year anniversary of publishing this blog each day. Two years. 731 days. 731 articles. 731 ideas.

About ten days into this insane endeavor, I wondered if I'd run out of ideas soon. Would I run out in a week? A month? I surely won't make it a year. 731 ideas in 731 days.

Even though I'm living it, it's hard to wrap my head around this notion of brainstorming, writing, editing, and publishing one article per day for 731 consecutive days.

There's precedent for this sort of behavior, though:

• I've brushed my teeth every day for 40+ years.

• I've eaten every day - multiple times - for more than 43 years.

• I've dressed myself every day for 40+ years..

• The list goes on.

So, I suppose there is a precedent for writing 731 articles in 731 days. Each of us is uniquely wired to create, maintain, and strengthen habits. What do all those things above have in common? They are worth it. It's worth brushing my teeth every day so the dentist doesn't have to drill holes through my head, and people around me aren't repulsed by my breath. It's worth taking the time to eat - multiple times per day - because I appreciate staying alive. It's worth dressing myself each day because I don't think anyone needs me walking around public naked. There’s precedent for each of us to do things that are worth it, even tremendously difficult things.

Similarly, it's worth writing this blog because it adds value to thousands of people's lives (hopefully yours, too!). It's worth it because writing every day helps me process what's going on around me and to thoroughly think through these ideas. It's worth it because writing each day builds discipline and grit that can be transported into other areas of my life. It's worth it because creativity begets creativity; each idea (good or bad) sparks another.

No, this isn't my advocation for you to start a daily blog. Rather, this is my encouragement to find something worth doing. Find something that fuels you, serves others, and makes you better. Find it, lean into it, lean into it harder, and watch where it takes you.

Have a wonderful day!

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Someone’s World

I lost my paternal grandmother yesterday. This comes nearly five years to the day after Grandpa took his last breath. During that five year stretch, I've said goodbye to all four of my grandparents. It's not a day to mourn, though. Today, I celebrate her and the long, impactful life she lived, passing away just a handful of weeks before what would have been her 96th birthday.

Grandpa and Grandma’s first time meeting the boys.

One idea I regularly process here on the blog is the call we each have to make an impact on this world. Whenever I use that phrase, it makes people cringe. Not because they don't believe in impact, but rather because they don't believe their existence will be world-changing (then citing an array of world-changing figures they are unfairly comparing themselves to).

While I believe each one of us has the power to change the world, the reality is most of us won't be household names on the Mount Rushmore of world-changers. The law of averages says that's true, and our lived history says that's true. Most of us won't change the world.

While you may or may not change the world, you 100% have the power to change someone's world. And I have a little secret for you. Changing someone's world might as well be the same as changing the world.....because when you inflict impact on someone's world, it moves the needle in their life more than any of these quote-unquote world-changers ever could.

My Grandma didn't change the world, but man, she sure did change a lot of someone's worlds. She inflicted significant impact on this world, but it was discreet. It was face to face, person by person by person. I grew up four hours away from her, and didn't see her all that often. Yet, when I reflect on my childhood, she was an instrumental force in it. She was the center of so many memories, traditions, and lessons. That's her, though. She always seemed to work quietly behind the scenes, yet constantly seemed in control and a driving influence in the small world around her.

She's one of the greatest women I’ve ever known. She will never be on a list of world-changers, but I can tell you she's made more impact on my life than any famous world-changing name I could think of. She was everything. I’m sure others would agree.

Impact, impact, impact. That's our call to action. No, we won't all be called to change the world. However, we ARE called to change someone's world. Understand that opportunity. Understand that responsibility. Understand what's at stake. Understand the implications of that power. I think my Grandma did.

I'm looking forward to paying tribute to my Grandma in a few days. Until then, I'm sure I'll be living in flashback-ville, thinking about all the awesome impact she's made on my life. Love you, Grandma! Glad you've been reunited with Grandpa after five long years. Thanks for all you've done for me and so many others.

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I’ll Have One Christmas, Hold the Guilt

'Tis the season! The lights are going up, the movies are coming out, the weather is turning cold, and my Chicago Bears are melting down into season-ending turmoil. It can only mean one thing: Christmas is coming!

I absolutely love Christmas, but do you know what I don't love? Financial stress, unforeseen debt, and guilt. This is the annual season where millions of families will throw away their measure and discretion for just one more taste of the holiday spirit. Between the decorations, travel, gifts, food, and hosting, it's not uncommon for families to rack up thousands of dollars of expenses (often with debt).

Unfortunately, these expenses are often unbudgeted. They are impulsive, reactionary, and unplanned. But the magic of the season is intoxicating, so we just go along with it. Come early January, it's not uncommon for people to feel significant stress, tension, resentment, and guilt. By the time the Christmas spirit lifts, we're left with a nasty hangover. Have you ever been there before?

Multiple times in the last week, I've talked to families equally anxious as they are excited for the holiday season. On the one hand, they can't wait to share those special moments with the kids, but on the other hand, are dreading the seemingly unavoidable consequences.

I think you deserve better than the most wonderful season of the year to rob you of your peace, freedom, and sanity. You deserve to experience all the joy, without any of the guilt. So today, I'm going to give you a few ideas on how to do Christmas differently:

• Remember that Christmas joy is not derived from money, stuff, or status. Joy is joy.....period.

• Go into the season with a plan. If you're the budgeting type (and I hope you are!), ensure you have money allocated for each component of the season: gifts, travel, decor, food, hosting, etc. Name each and put a dollar figure on them.

• Speaking of budgeting for gifts, make a list of every person you want to buy a gift for. Then, assign a dollar amount to that person. Shop with boundaries.

• Commit to NOT using debt. There's no need to whip out the credit card. I know it's tempting, as it always is, but there's so much peace that comes from knowing everything you paid for is actually paid for.

• Follow the plan. If you said you would spend $500 on gifts, spend $500 on gifts. Don't spend $700, $800, or $1,200. Once you commit, commit. I don't care what the number is for any category, but you must honor yourself by honoring past you's decisions.

• Remember again that money, stuff, and status don't bring joy.

• Slow down your schedule, not speed it up. Embrace the time with your loved ones. Savor it. Don't cram as much in as possible.

• Remember the reason for the season. In our house, that's Jesus.

I hope this is the beginning of a beautiful holiday season for you and your family. It's been a crazy year. Enjoy this final chapter of it.

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The Alternative to Poof

I received a lot of fun feedback from yesterday's post. Many of you were glad I went there, and some of you even sent me screenshots of social media posts from businesses in your area going poof by weaponizing the owner's values. Others, though, were critical of me and my approach.....which they paired with hitting the unsubscribe button.

One critic was thoughtful in his approach. He ended his critique with the question, "So what's the alternative?"

The smart-alec in me wanted to respond, "The alternative to telling half your potential customers they are evil is to just NOT tell half your potential customers they are evil." But that felt too sharp, and I wanted to add a bit more value. Here's the secret: excellence! Always excellence.

If one of your customers agrees with everything you stand for, serve them with excellence.

If one of your customers flies in the face of everything you stand for, serve them with excellence. No exceptions.

Everyone deserves to be served with dignity and hospitality, regardless of their beliefs. I have many clients who have different values and beliefs than I do, and I wholeheartedly believe they deserve the same level of excellence I would try to give anyone else. They deserve it!

Let's flip it around. While not all of us are business owners, every single person reading this is a consumer. We buy products and services. We choose which products and services we need/want, and we choose who to purchase them from.

If you buy products or services from a company that has weaponized the owner's values against people like you, that, by definition, is the opposite of excellence. You're being treated like dirt, and you feel like it, too. You should probably buy your products and services elsewhere.

If you buy products or services from a company that has weaponized the owner's values in favor of people like you, and it causes you to want to "support" them more, that's the opposite of excellence. That type of consumer behavior, which is far too common and is borderline cultish, perpetuates non-excellence and shields businesses from having to earn it.

Both scenarios lead away from excellence. However, with our responsibility and opportunity, we consumers have the power to force businesses to be excellent. If we always reward excellence and always punish non-excellence, it will, on the whole, raise the bar for businesses all around us. Non-excellent businesses will either become excellent, or die. Excellent businesses will feel the pressure of other businesses becoming more excellent, and find new ways to improve. Everyone wins (except for businesses that refuse to pursue excellence).

It all comes down to us, the consumers. Will we reward values, or reward excellence? Will we justify bad behavior, or demand better? Will we patronize businesses that make us feel like crap, or find one that will actually add value to our journey? The average American makes 60 purchases per month, or roughly two per day. Will you demand excellence from your two today?

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Poof

Sarah and I have been contemplating a meaningful financial commitment. We've been weighing the pros, cons, benefits, and costs. It's a decision we haven't taken lightly. The person running this other business clearly has different values and beliefs than we do, but we're good with that. The most important thing is they provide wonderful service and aren't trying to weaponize the owner's values through their business. As such, we felt very comfortable, confident, and excited to hire this business. Its service costs approximately $600/month, which is no small investment. However, after careful consideration, we decided the benefits far outweigh the cost.

Then, something happened. Remember above when I said the business doesn't weaponize the owner's values? Well, that all changed quickly. At the snap of one's fingers, the owner decided to take a different approach. The business decided it would now use the business to jam those values down the marketplace's throat. That was the moment they lost my business. $600/month of revenue.....poof.

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I was recently having a coffee with two other business owners. Both of them were lamenting a loss in revenue over the last few years. They couldn't figure out why this was happening. Did people not have as much discretionary income anymore? Have people stopped shopping local? Do people not care for the products they are offering?

I was waiting for my moment, and then it came! "Travis, what do you think is going on?"

I explained how both businesses essentially gave a middle finger to half our city's population by weaponizing their personal values through their respective businesses.

"Well, I'm just expressing what I believe in," replied one of the men. They can (and should) express what they believe in, but the moment they weaponize their personal values through their business, they've lost the right to serve a large chunk of their customers.

"That shouldn't matter! If our product is good, people should still buy it." Well, I'm not sure that's a fair expectation if you essentially call half your customers evil.

Both of these businesses are on their last legs, and it's sad. Both companies had the potential to move the needle in this city and add a lot of value to a lot of people. But then, the business decided to absorb the owner's values and weaponize them.

Business owners, you have values and beliefs, but your businesses don't. The moment you decide to transfer those values to your businesses and then weaponize them, you've lost. Our job as business owners is to serve those whom we have the privilege of serving. And one way to serve them well is to not shove values down their throats and tell them they are stupid.

You have too much to offer to simply throw it away because of emotion. Yes, your values are important (even the ones that differ from mine). Yes, you should share your values with others. Yes, your voice should be heard. But not through your business. Not at the expense of your customers and clients. They deserve better, and so do you.

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Trust the Process

Whenever someone is talking about how a loved one needs to improve their finances, they often blurt out statements such as, "They just need to pay off their debt," "They should just save more money, or "They just need to stop spending."

Those statements make a generalized assumption that there is some magical switch that can just be flipped, like a toy doll. The doll stands motionless until you flip the little switch on its back, then it comes alive. Unfortunately (or fortunately), that's not how humans work. It's not as simple as "just pay off debt."

In my now-well-tested opinion, there's not one step to getting right with money. It's not as simple as "just do _____." Rather, there are three critical steps, each as important as the next:

1. Gain awareness

2. Gain control

3. Gain traction

The first step to getting right with our money is to develop an awareness of where we stand. We need to understand the lay of the land, clearly see our current situation, and gain a firm grasp on our current reality. It's the hard look in the mirror.

Once we've gained an awareness of our reality, we can begin to gain control. Slowly but surely, we shift from reactive to proactive. From being a victim of our impulses to the author of the story. We learn the art of telling our money what to do, and then doing it.

Once we've gained control, that's when we can begin to gain traction. When we become the conductor of the symphony, we get to decide what goes where and when. That's when this entire thing unlocks. We earn the right to start making progress in our finances and move the needle in that area of our lives. We get to prioritize and focus, then watch the momentum actually build.

We can't just skip to gaining traction. Traction doesn't happen on accident. First, we need awareness, then control, then the much sought-after traction. Don't put the cart in front of the horse; one step at a time. It may seem like things are moving slowly at first, but then, it accelerates much faster than you could have imagined. Trust the process!

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Preserving My Midlife Crisis

In a few hours, I'll (temporarily) say goodbye to the 350Z. Our midwest winter is setting in, and it's time to store it away for the winter. I'm getting its oil changed, then delivering it to client, friend, and blog reader Emma's house where it will be kept safe and sound until spring. When I published a Facebook post asking if anyone was interested in making some storage income for the winter, Emma was the first person to text me. I quickly thanked her and confirmed I was in, to which she responded, "Really excited to help you preserve your midlife crisis." Wow, Emma.

It's been eight months since I finally checked the box on my 17-year dream of owning a 2006 Nissan 350Z stick-shift convertible. As I put it away for the winter, I thought today would be a good day to reflect on my decision.

In short, wow, what a rich and meaningful decision to purchase that car. It was easily the best $9,000 I've ever spent on something. It has been everything I hoped it would be, and more:

• I spent many hours cruising around town with my kids this summer, blaring Twenty One Pilots and making multiple pitstops at various ice cream establishments.

• Driving it as my daily commuter added a new richness and enjoyment to the repetitiveness of day-to-day life.

• I made road trips to Omaha, Minneapolis, KC, and Colorado, each providing a unique open-road, top-down experience.

• Several friends drove the car, and it was fun seeing the smiles on their faces.

Finny and I out for an afternoon cruise.

A particular conversation occurred on multiple occassions, each resembling this one:

Friend: "Wow, that car is amazing. I wish I could afford something like that."

Me: "Well, it cost about one-sixth of what you paid for that truck out there."

Friend: .........

What I want people to know about wants, meaning, and value-based decision-making is that we don't have to break the bank to journey into fun endeavors. $9,000 isn't nothing, but it's also not what most people default to when considering a fun purchase like this. We don't have to completely sabotage our finances to enjoy life. We can be measured, intentional, humble, and dutiful in our approach. This purchase didn't materially hinder our financial lives, but it sure added a lot of value to our family.

I'm not suggesting everyone should replicate my decision. Rather, I'm trying to make the argument that we should find things that add value to our lives, and we don't need to implode our financial lives to do so.

I also believe there's a time and place for everything. I waited 17 years to purchase this car. In hindsight, it cost me far less by waiting those 17 years, while being more valuable to me 17 years later than had I purchased it any time sooner.

I have nothing but gratitude and fondness for this decision. Yes, it's just a possession. Yes, it will be in a landfill before I know it. No, it can't make me happy. But dang, I'm really glad we decided to go for it.

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A Recession is Still Coming

Catchy headline, eh? I'm not trying to create clickbait or lead with fear. In fact, by the time you're done reading this, I hope you feel the opposite of fear. Immediately following President Trump's re-election, the equity markets soared on optimism, with the S&P 500 increasing 2.5% yesterday alone. The general public sentiment is that we're now positioned for good economic times. While we might see a momentary jolt of positivity, I can confidently predict a recession is still coming (regardless of who is in the White House). Why? Because that's what always happens. Again, I'm not trying to spark fear, so please bear with me.

I'm not arrogant or ridiculous enough to proclaim when said recession is coming, but I promise you it is. Again, why? Because that's what happens in a capitalist society. We grow, contract, grow, and contract again. It's been that way for centuries. In other words, recessions (and the stock market crashes normally associated with them) are a normal part of a well-functioning society.

Perhaps some context is in order. In the last 100 years (1925-2024), there have been 16 recessions, beginning in:

• 1926

• 1929

• 1937

• 1945

• 1949

• 1953

• 1958

• 1960

• 1969

• 1973

• 1980

• 1981

• 1990

• 2001

• 2007

• 2020

16 recessions in 100 years translate into one recession every six years. The longest span between recessions was 13 years, between the 2007 and 2020 recessions. However, the 2020 recession was a blip on the radar, lasting only two quarters (just long enough to be technically classified as a recession). Then, due to stimulus and other factors, the economy shot back up as quickly as it fell. If we remove 2020 as an actual recession, it means we're actually 17 years (and counting) between meaningful recessions.....on borrowed time compared to our every-six-year historical rhythm.

Can we all agree a lot of life has happened in the last 100 years? World War 2, Vietnam, Korea, two Gulf Wars, the assassination of a president, 9/11, countless natural disasters, civil rights battles, COVID, political unrest, and a ton of other events I'm probably blanking from my memory. Through all that turmoil, intertwined with the 16 recessions I mentioned earlier, the U.S. stock market is up 10.4% per year over the last 100 years. A $1 investment 100 years ago is now worth $19,800. The stock market has gone up nearly 20,000x, not in the absence of terrible things, but through all the terrible.

I have two takeaways today:

1. A recession WILL happen. A stock market crash WILL happen. It's inevitable. Expect it. Anticipate it. Don't be surprised or shell-shocked when it arrives.

2. Don't fear it. Know it's going to be ok. Know that your patience, diligence, and fortitude will be rewarded. Don't lose sleep at night. Don't let it rob you of your peace.

Please don't scare yourself into making rash decisions or becoming reactionary. Stay the course. Be intentional. Get your financial house in order. Live with meaning. Practice generosity. Make an impact. Please don't let fear or uncertainty rob you of a better future.....or a better present.

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Yesterday's Meaning Over Money podcast episode also engaged in this topic. If there's someone in your life who is more apt to listen to a podcast than read a blog, could you please share it with them?

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The Freedom to Eat the Consequences

A while back, blog reader Ryan tipped me off to a few of the other daily publications he follows. One of them is called Daily Discipline by Brian Kight. It sounded intriguing as Ryan explained it, so I started following Brian's content. It's short, relevant, and thought-provoking. Yesterday's post was particularly compelling. In short, Brian proposes freedom comes in two forms: 1) the freedom to make choices, and 2) the freedom to bear the consequences of said choices.

It's a simple, profound, and brilliant idea, and aligns well with everything we talk about over here at The Daily Meaning. We are each the author of our own story, and we must take that opportunity and responsibility seriously. Far too often, we make poor financial and career choices with the freedom bestowed upon us. As Brian points out, with freedom to make choices comes a freedom to eat the consequences:

• According to MarketWatch Guides, approximately 66% of Americans live paycheck-to-paycheck. Income influences this, but not as much as you'd think. 48% of people earning $100,000-$200,000 live paycheck-to-paycheck, and 36% earning $200,000+ live paycheck-to-paycheck.

• According to Gallup, 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs. I talk about this statistic regularly, and it always pains me to do so.

We're blessed with the freedom to make any choice we want; more often than not, we use that freedom to make choices that impair our well-being and our future.

As we recognize our freedoms today, we should equally acknowledge the importance of using them to bring meaning, fulfillment, and impact into our lives. It's a huge responsibility, but also a massive opportunity.

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Turn Normal On Its Head

A while back, I saw some social media posts about how Twenty One Pilots did something wild during one of their shows. While performing one of their new songs (which they play every night), lead singer Tyler Joseph, accompanied by a small entourage of camera operators and grips, meandered through the pit while performing the song. If you're not familiar, the pit is the group of people standing immediately in front of the stage. They are often the rowdiest fans, and as a standing-only section, they can get congested and unruly. People jockeying for position, people trying to navigate to their desired location, people looking for the best camera angle or access to the performer.

For international superstars, the mere idea of entering the pit is a scary endeavor. Yet, for years, Twenty One Pilots has engaged directly with their pit fans. At least once per show, Josh Dun, the drummer, sits atop the pit fans while they hold a platform, a drum kit, and Josh above their heads (that takes trust!).

Also, in the final song of this tour's show, both Tyler and Josh have platforms wheeled into the middle of the pit, where they play their iconic song Trees, surrounded by their most loyal fans. It's a sight to behold.

To my delight, I recently turned on YouTube and was greeted with a new music video. They released a video for the song Routines In The Night, featuring all the new pit footage they recently recorded. It's a fun video, and I highly recommend you check it out!

No, this post isn't just for me to rant about Twenty One Pilots. It brings one specific idea to mind. I absolutely love how they turn normal on its head. Normal is to separate themselves from the pit. Normal is to just perform the regular way. Normal is to simply do what everyone else is doing. Instead, they are turning normal on its head and carving out new ways to approach their craft.

When we started the podcast, dozens of people told me, "You can't do a podcast without interviews. Nobody wants to listen to one person talk." That's exactly what we did, and it's been beautiful.

When I started this blog, countless people told me, "You can't send people e-mails every day. Nobody will read that! Just send them one thing per week and call it good." I ignored them, and you all received me with arms wide open. 70% of you read the blog every single day, and I never take that for granted.

When I left my prior career and our family took a 90% pay cut, many people told me I was making the biggest mistake of my life. Yes, it's been a difficult journey, but one of the most beautiful ones I could ever have imagined.

I so much appreciate when people are willing to turn normal on its head and carve a new path. I hope you receive this as encouragement to do the same in your journey. Don't get stuck by what the world says is the right way to do things. Sometimes, you need to rip up the blueprint and start afresh!

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One Madness Ends, Another Begins

It's here, guys! Tomorrow is the big day. The election will be over soon. After tomorrow, the madness will finally end. Yay! We can all celebrate and get back to normal. Or can we?

The unfortunate truth is that every time one madness ends, another begins. That's just the way of our world. There's always something. Something to be mad about. Something to upset us. Something to distract us. Something to divert our attention. Something to tire us. Some of these things will be genuine, while others will be manufactured. But regardless of what it is or how real it is, it's coming. One madness will end, and another begin.

Here's our problem. We often postpone the things we need to do - and want to do - until after the madness ends. The timing isn't ideal; there are too many unknowns. Thus, we'll just wait. After xyz happens, it will be better. Once that thing is over, life will get back to "normal." Maybe then will be a good time to start that thing we really want to do! Oh wait, once one madness ends, another begins.

Yes, this election is going to be over soon (thankfully!). But the next version of madness is just around the corner. We can keep kicking the can on our dreams, goals, and aspirations, or we can simply get to work. Don't wait for the madness to end.....because it won't.

To the family waiting until they have a little more discretionary income to begin paying off debt, just start.

To the family waiting until “things don’t feel so weird” to begin investing, just start.

To the family waiting for their income to feel more stable to begin giving, just start.

To the family trying to hoard as much money as possible before “retiring” into work that actually matters, just go.

To the person waiting until the timing is “just right” to launch their business, just start.

This is me walking to the mound and placing the ball in your glove. Let's go!

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Don’t Forget Your Real Goals

The kids had their first two basketball games yesterday. We were overmatched and went 0-2 on the day. It would be easy to get discouraged by that outcome, but doing so would mean I forgot the real goal. Sure, I would have loved to win the games.....winning is fun! But winning these random Saturday second-grade games isn't my primary objective. I see how much these boys have improved since June. One little man could barely get the ball up to the hoop just four months ago, and he got a bucket yesterday! Massive strides! Even in the last three weeks, I can tell the kids have a stronger bond with each other and are picking up the flow of the game. I'm not going to let a few surface-level goals cloud my gratitude for the real goals.

This story reminds me of a similar type of situation that plays out daily in my coaching world. I'll share one example. A couple approached me several years ago, desiring to create more freedom for their life. Finances felt tight, and both spouses were tied to jobs they loathed. One had a dream for a big career shift, and the other aspired to one day stay at home with their kids (who weren't yet born).

Their next steps were clear:

• Get on an intentional budget.

• Pay off their $100,000 of non-mortgage debt (primarily student loans, cars, and credit cards).

• Simplify their lifestyle (including downsizing their cars and/or house).

I can excitedly report that this couple got extremely intentional on their budgeting and aggressively paid off their debt. In a shockingly quick span, they had become debt-free, and their monthly financial overhead decreased dramatically!

In the coaching meeting immediately following this big accomplishment, we celebrated their hard-earned achievements. What would they do with their newly created freedom? I was hoping she would begin her transition home (since they now had a baby!), and perhaps he would solidify his career transition plan. Nope, I was wrong. Instead, they decided to refocus their intensity on saving and investing. Now, instead cutting the budget lean to pay off debt, they would maintain a lean budget and direct those resources to aggressively saving. He stayed at his crappy job because it paid well, and it "made more financial sense" for her to forego stay-at-home-mom life (throwing her literal dream away). All for the sake of more money.

I reminded them of what their real goal was: create more freedom. They took all those intentional steps and accomplished those specific goals so that they would experience more freedom. Now that they have said freedom, however, they were essentially throwing it away. Why? All in the name of "continued financial progress." They liked making progress and seeing their numbers improve. It felt intoxicating. Therefore, they were taking the materialistic path in the meaning vs. money fork in the road. They forgot the plot. They lost sight of their real goal.

For as much as I'd like to thumb my nose at this couple and judge them for their decision, that would be hypocritical of me. We've all been there! We're human, after all.

Remember to ask yourself what your real goals are. Yes, financial goals can be fun goals, and rewarding to accomplish them. But remember the real goals! Remember why you really set those goals. Don't forget the plot. Don't lose sight of what matters most.

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Story Behind the Story

I had the most wonderful yet stressful day yesterday. Ups and downs, twists and turns, wins and losses. However, I'm going to hone in on one particular 90-minute block of my day. I had the opportunity to share lunch with a blog reader. It was my first time meeting him, as he passed through my city for work. That was easily the best part of my day, and a reminder how we need to surround ourselves with people better than us. I took away so much from our time together, and hope it's not the last time we cross paths in person.

Here's the idea that hit me during that conversation. When we look at someone, our first perspective of them is whatever they outwardly present for us to see. Their attire. The way they treat people. Their titles and roles. The way they carry themselves. Their accomplishments. The possessions they purchase/carry. We can learn a lot about someone by being in their presence, engaging in surface-level conversations, or checking out their social media presence. That's the story.

Take my new friend. On the surface, he's uber-successful, extremely talented, hard-working, and accomplished. The kind of person you want to be more like. All of that was true, by the way.....that's the story. What about the story behind the story?

I was honored to hear some truly profound stories and testimonials from this man. Stories that are quick and harsh reminders that nobody's life is as perfect and put together as we often believe. Stories that remind us that while we're pretty screwed up, we aren't the only ones battling behind the scenes. Stories that portray humility, vulnerability, and sincerity..... much-needed traits in our modern-day social media facade lifestyle.

It's so easy for us to look at someone, immediately assume their life is perfect, and quickly jump to jealousy, excuse-making, and self-loathing. That's the easy way out, and all too common in our culture. But if we're willing to learn the story behind the story, we'll usually see that we're not alone in the mess and chaos of life. And if these other people can keep fighting, persevere, and rise above it, why can't we?

It's the story behind the story that I'm after. That's what fuels me. That's what I desire to learn about people. That's what makes us human.

One more thing. I'm beyond humbled to meet people who are shockingly transparent and vulnerable with others, especially strangers. My new friend has no idea how much of an impact he made on me yesterday (well, unless he reads this). And if he made that impact on me, a total stranger, in just a 90-minute span of life, what in the heck is he doing for others!?!? That's impact. That's meaning. That's calling.

Seek the story behind the story, and if you're daring enough, share the story behind the story.

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